Jump to content

possesive cat


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 kadoodle

Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:49 PM

A little bit of a vent and little bit of a WWYD, but I have a 3 yo desexed tomcat who thinks he's my boyfriend.  He follows me everywhere.  He sits and the front door and cries when I leave for work and looks out the front window until I return.  When I was in hospital having DS2 he refused to eat.

I've got gastro ATM, so when I'm being sick I lock him out of the bathroom.  So he sits at the bathroom door and cries.  Now he's cracked it with me for spending more time and attention on the toilet than him, so he's peed on the desk, bit me and sulked off upstairs and hid under the bed.

What the heck do I do?

#2 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:47 PM

Kadoodle, once I stopped laughing, I wondered if he isn't just a little bit anxious.

Have you tried feliway?

I'd also consider short stints with him being away in a particular room, whichever room has a litter box. Mostly to get him used to the idea that being away is not a long term thing, and its okay. A treat of some sort might help this along a bit.

Our kitty gets popped into the master bedroom on occasion - her litter (one, anyone) is in the ensuite. It helps to keep her out from under foot and on keyboard. She was another who followed me from room to room, and yowled mercilessly if the door was closed. She still does on occasion - these days I open the door a smidge and she's in an out fairly quickly (and more often than not goes off to use her litter box huh.gif ). At least she's stopped regarding people sitting on the loo as a lap that's fair game.

#3 kadoodle

Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:59 PM

Thanks, Spikey.  You're right, he's very anxious.  I have Feliway going in a plug in in the laundry (where the cats eat and use their litter boxes), which calms down his self-harming tendencies.

I'll try the "time out" suggestion - am I correct in thinking it's a bit like controlled crying for cats?

#4 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 06 December 2012 - 04:29 PM

In the very mildest sense of the word.

What you should do is reward him for moments of quietness when placed in his 'quiet room'. So you may only pop him in, then close and almost immediately open the door again, before rewarding him.

Then you make it a bit longer between closing the door and opening it, with the aim of opening it before he kicks off. And then longer again. Because we're modifying behaviour, its really important to reward a quiet kitty, so hand over a small bit of liver treat or ham or something he's really keen on whenever you're successful.

Cats and dogs do tend to get 'reinforced' by humans attempting to soothe them when they're displaying anxious behaviour. If you can ignore that, and distract him to something else (maybe throw a ponytail holder for him to chase, or something else that's fun and exciting), his chemistry will start giving him different 'messages' about you being out of sight.

Its not an easy thing to fix, but you can hopefully get a bit more wiggle room than you currently have.

#5 YandiGirl

Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:32 PM

QUOTE (*Spikey* @ 05/12/2012, 03:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
At least she's stopped regarding people sitting on the loo as a lap that's fair game.


One of mine likes to sit behind you on a chair. She decided one time she would 'sit behind me' on the toilet. As she was leaping up, I stood up and much to her horror, she went in. sick.gif

I was so grateful (as was she I am sure) I was only in for a pee. biggrin.gif

Oddly, she's not tried to sit behind me on the toilet again. wwhistle.gif

#6 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:39 PM

YG, that is hilarious. And it also shows that cats learn from expeerience. roll2.gif

#7 kadoodle

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:15 PM

That sounds a lot like the anxiety reducing stuff the child psych is doing with me with DD1!  The kid gets stickers rather than bits of chicken though.  Thankfully the kid is also amused rather than offended by the similarity in separation anxiety treatments.

Right now the anxious kid is asleep in bed with her (non-anxious) cat on the pillow beside her.  The demented rescue kitten is asleep on the foot of DD2's bed and the anxious cat is on my lap masquerading as a breastfeeding pillow while I feed DS2.

#8 papilio

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:24 PM

My Siamese is a bit like this, but not quite so extreme.  Her behaviour is endearing rather than destructive - except when she's yowling outside my door as I'm trying to sleep after a night shift. The silly thing likes to sit on me when I'm doing yoga in the lounge room, the other day I was showing A some stretches for his back and Rani lay down next to him and he rolled onto her.  She was rather unimpressed!

Willow is determined to win her affection, which is cute.  Is this an option with your children, to have them feed him treats and so on?

#9 kadoodle

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:33 PM

He quivers like furry blancmange whenever any of the kids come near him, then tucks his tail under his tummy and scoots away to hide.  None of the kids have ever been rough with him, but he was from a shelter, so who knows what his early life was like.  I may have more luck with the baby, who's smaller than him, smells of milk and doesn't try to pester him.  He'll go near the baby when DS2 is asleep or being fed.

Edited by kadoodle, 06 December 2012 - 09:35 PM.


#10 papilio

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:37 PM

Yes, Rani loathed the kids when they were toddlers - I think cats don't like the unpredictability of them.  Having said that Willow doesn't sit still for long, but it is nice to have a bit of the pressure taken off me, so to speak.  The annoying thing is that I'm actually allergic to cats!

#11 kadoodle

Posted 07 December 2012 - 07:25 PM

How do you cope with being allergic to the cat if she's all over you like a rash?

Thankfully I haven't been throwing up today, so Storm has been happy to sit beside me as I flake listlessly on the couch and watch the kids run around.  I've been rewarding him to "stay" with cat treats.  He'll sit and wait for almost 20 seconds, which is longer than the toddler will.

#12 papilio

Posted 07 December 2012 - 07:41 PM

If she sits on my chest, as she'd like to, then I sneeze a lot and get watery eyes.  It's not so bad if she's just sitting next to me.  I'm also allergic to dust, but I still have to do some of the housework unfortunately!  If I'm taking hayfever medication it's not so bad.

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit less vomity.  I often joke that my dog/s are/were better behaved than my kids!

#13 papilio

Posted 07 December 2012 - 07:41 PM

If she sits on my chest, as she'd like to, then I sneeze a lot and get watery eyes.  It's not so bad if she's just sitting next to me.  I'm also allergic to dust, but I still have to do some of the housework unfortunately!  If I'm taking hayfever medication it's not so bad.

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit less vomity.  I often joke that my dog/s are/were better behaved than my kids!

#14 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:25 PM

My cat is better at sit-stays than all of my dogs. ph34r.gif

Mind you, if the lazer glare were effective, I'd have disintegrated long ago...




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Video: 10-week-old baby sounds like she says 'I love you'

It’s mixed in amongst garbled baby talk, but this 10-week-old's apparent attempt at telling her parents that she loves them has made her an internet star.

I only enjoyed pregnancy after booking my caesarean

To say I became obsessed is something of an understatement. Everywhere I went I found cause to be reminded of my impending pain.

When your bundle doesn't bring immediate joy

One mum says joy is very a personal feeling and expecting all new mums to feel it in the months after their baby born may do more harm than good.

Lessons learned from my toddler

Blogger Kiran Chug explains why she is going to let her toddler make more decisions for himself.

Family welcomes first baby girl in more than 100 years

The Silverton family has heard the phrase "it's a girl" for the first time in four generations.

When a community of kindness steps in

In future when someone I care for, or even someone I barely know, is experiencing a difficult time, I will not overthink it. I'll follow my heart.

Mum in Business: Jac Bowie

Jac Bowie is the founder of Business in Heels, one of the fastest growing women’s networking events in Australia. She shares her story, including how she juggles work with a young family, and ways to work smarter.

What not to say to a mum of twins

Being a mum of identical twin boys stirs up great interest and fascination. It also opens itself up to nosy, invasive questions, as well as huge assumptions.

The mums suing over unplanned babies

A mother-of-five who calls her two youngest sons "miracle babies" is just one of many mums seeking financial compensation for their children's unplanned conceptions.

Video: Dad sings 'Hallelujah' to his daughter every year

It's a gorgeous song to begin with, but this dad's version of Hallelujah, sung for his young daughter, is especially touching.

Constipation in babies when starting solids

While starting solids can be frustrating and messy (yet also fun!), introducing solids can also play havoc on tiny digestive systems.

Parents reunited with baby snatched from hospital

A mother whose newborn baby was snatched from hospital has spoken of her joy and relief at getting her daughter back.

In defence of the bumpie

Are bumpies - bump selfies - really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind"?

Life on the other side of the fence: Why I'm child-free and quite content

Acknowledging that motherhood isn't a bed of roses – to begrudge lack of time, sleep, money and spontaneity – is sacrilegious and a no-no, especially by mother superior-types.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher

Fill out this quick survey and tell us in 25 words or less your best pregnancy or parenting tip - you'll go in the draw to win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

In defence of the bumpie

Are bumpies really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind", as one writer has claimed?

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

My Wellbeing

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.