Jump to content

How to help son be happy still?
Not getting what he wants for christmas


  • Please log in to reply
59 replies to this topic

#1 KrissyNkids

Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:34 AM

Thanks for all the helpful hints and tips-all sorted now  original.gif  No need for any more replies thanks.

Edited by KrissyNkids, 06 December 2012 - 12:13 PM.


#2 Frau Farbissina

Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:45 AM

Does he know that you are the one buying the gifts? If so can you tell him that most things on the list are out of the budget range and could he come up with some other ideas? Not sure how well that will go down...

good luck!


ETA  would compromise work - eg. this item will still be around by your birthday and if you save your pocket money I will chip in and pay the rest to get it for your birthday (or next christams)?

Edited by Frau Farbissina, 05 December 2012 - 10:48 AM.


#3 KrissyNkids

Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:50 AM

Unfortunately he still believes in santa. In some ways i want to tell him otherwise but i know the moment he knows the truth that he will tell his 3 little sisters (and everyone else he can) because with the ASD he is very factual and things need to be black or white. His sisters/my other children are so young i would really like them to have the magic of santa for at least a little while. (They are 5, 3 and 1).

ETA Thanks Frau, and i have tried to tell him about price range but he just doesnt get it/doesnt care and i said even santa doesnt bring everything that kids ask for sop we will see what santa thinks are good gifts.

I have said maybe next year i can buy one of the big items but i know he will still be dissapointed this year as he wants everything NOW.

Edited by KrissyNkids, 05 December 2012 - 10:54 AM.


#4 PrincessPeach

Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:53 AM

Can you tell him you've spoken to santa about his list & santa has told him that he only has a budget of $X for him & he would love it if he could come up with some gifts in that price range for him?

ETA - just saw your update...

Edited by PrincessPeach, 05 December 2012 - 11:00 AM.


#5 Happy Feet

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:04 AM

Could you get a little scrap book and cut out pictures of everything he wants and out them in there, next to each picture put some stars to equal money value (more expensive equals more stars) then tell him how many stars he has to use, he can only add things to his Christmas list if he has enough stars for them?

#6 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:04 AM

Do you know what else he would like that you can afford? Perhaps start encouraging him toward those things? Otherwise if possible secondhand items.



#7 PurpleNess

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:12 AM

I'd be looking into Second hand for some of the things - try Gumtree, people often sell unwanted gifts etc and half the price, still in boxes etc.


PS A Wii U is a new hand held device sort of like a PS2 controller, you use it with the TV...very new release so i wouldn't buy one just yet!

#8 KrissyNkids

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:12 AM

Thanks for the suggestions.

I have bought a few little things i know he will like (lego etc) but i just wanted to get him something he asked for too IYKWIM.

Anyone know where the Aldi dinosaurs are or similar lol...

I think the scrap book idea is a good one, i did similar with the toy catalogues for them to circle a few things what they would like, he just circled nearly everything.

I never thought to give 2nd hand items as xmas gift, i buy 2nd hand things but not as gifts, i guess it shouldnt matter so long as it works and is clean hey. Thank you for that suggestion.

Thanks everyone

#9 KrissyNkids

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:15 AM

Thanks PurpleNess, i figured it must be a new thing out so definately not getting that lol. Well maybe next christmas when somethine else has come out to replace the Wii U. They change them so often and the games are so expensive! 2nd hand/old stock of electronic things at least have cheaper games available too.

#10 Oriental lily

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:18 AM

Could you make a list of things you can afford and say that Santa needs enough money for every kid and these are the things he is giving as gifts so that he can afford presents for everyone?

I think no matter what he will be dissapointed. But I guess it is the harsh reality of life. I know you want to protect him from it and I know having ASD means the comprehension of it all will be more cruel and unfair, especially when he literally thinks Santa is magic enough to bring these gifts but it will still need to be a life lesson.

He won't be the only child waking up on Christmas morning dissapointed. But he needs to be guided to appreciate what it does get.

#11 casime

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:25 AM

Not much use for this year, but when I was growing up, there was no such thing as lists of what you wanted.  Santa knows what you really need.   Might be worth it to stop asking him to request what he wants in future.

#12 Foogle

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:27 AM

QUOTE
Anyone know where the Aldi dinosaurs are or similar lol...

I can't find a dinosaur one but I found these on eBay - inflatable bops

There are also some second-hand PSP's on eBay as well you could look at and I did find these at the Cash Converters online store - PSPs


#13 KrissyNkids

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:34 AM

They did the list at school and when he bought it home the girls wanted to do their own list but they only circled 2 or 3 things (cheap items without me helping lol) from the toy catalogues. No list sounds good but i would still like some ideas as its getting harder to know what he wants as he gets older just need him to understand money value haha.

I am still working on getting him to appreciate what he does get but i think i will be working on that one for a while yet.

Thanks Foogle for the links off to have a look now.

#14 A Tiny Hedgehog

Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:04 PM

So you taught an autism spectrum child, who by definition takes rules and boundaries very seriously and often quite literally, that there's a magical fat man who brings children whatever they want, and you're surprised he asked said magical fat man for all sorts of cool expensive stuff?

#15 Sentient Puddle

Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:18 PM

QUOTE
So you taught an autism spectrum child, who by definition takes rules and boundaries very seriously and often quite literally, that there's a magical fat man who brings children whatever they want, and you're surprised he asked said magical fat man for all sorts of cool expensive stuff?
Usually I agree with your take on things A Tiny Hedgehog - but this is really not helpful and actually shows little empathy or understanding of the day to day realities of dealing with children with additional needs.  I hope you come back and amend your post and if you do I will delete my post as well.

#16 Oriental lily

Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:32 PM

A tiny hedgehog you do realize that the big fat magic man is a tradition in many families and children on the spectrum are not diagnosed at birth? Also the op would have needed to tell every family member and every associate not to tell him about Santa or he would of though every child was getting a present except him.

You obviously have no idea.

#17 casime

Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:33 PM

QUOTE
No list sounds good but i would still like some ideas as its getting harder to know what he wants as he gets older just need him to understand money value haha.


See, this is something I will never understand.  How can parents not know what their children want to christmas?   Anyone who has spent any time around their children should be able to have a fair idea.  They see things on tv and talk about them, they ask for things at the shops, they talk about things their friends have.  I've never needed to ask someone what they want for a gift, because if I'm close enough to them to be buying them a gift, then I should know them well enough to know what it is they would like.   You just have to be listening.

#18 Madlock

Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:37 PM

QUOTE
So you taught an autism spectrum child, who by definition takes rules and boundaries very seriously and often quite literally, that there's a magical fat man who brings children whatever they want, and you're surprised he asked said magical fat man for all sorts of cool expensive stuff?


I hope Santa brings you some empathy this year, you definitely need it!

Edited by Madlock, 05 December 2012 - 01:38 PM.


#19 Madlock

Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:39 PM

OP, does he have a Wii at all?

#20 Carmen02

Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:43 PM

my brother brought his son a DS from cash converters alot cheaper then the shops not long ago and its very good! maybe have a look into 2nd hand like PPs have said if it is achievable price. my 8yr old DS has a very long expensive list for christmas Ive only been able to get one of it

#21 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:45 PM

I'd try cash converters, they sell all sorts of electronic stuff at fairly low prices. My dd used to work there and was amazed at some of the stuff they had, usually nothing wrong with it at all, people just take it in to get a few dollars when struggling or they just upgrade and need to offload.
I've seen the things with the water in the bottom, ds asked fro one too but never seen a dinosaur, we don't have Aldi here - maybe try to get something similar but not the Dino?

It's hard, there will be a few dissapointed kids here this year, I said "no lists" this year as I knew we couldn't afford much, I tried to make it a fun thing, it's a 'surprise year".
DD 12 yr old still wrote a big list full of laptops, portable dvd's etc she wont be getting them all, I'll do my best, that's all I can do, hopefully the fun on the day will smooth over any dissapointment.

#22 handsfull

Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:32 PM

OP - DD1 has ASD and takes things very literally as well.  DD2 is not far behind her.  They still believe in Santa and really why should I spoil their fun - plenty of time for that as they get older.  I have also explained to them that Santa only has enough room on his sleigh for small presents as he has all the children to pack for - they now have a mental image of a very overloaded sleigh....

In terms of presents and lists, DD2 has written hers 4 times and DD1 only once, can't find and wants to rewrite.

I am playing on their obsessions this Christmas and buying them stuff which I know they will love as it fits in with others that they have.  Even some family members have done so as well as at least they will get used.

For the boring parents present we are buying them desks for the bedrooms for study next year....yeah go us!  Can't wait for the "oh what's that for?" responses.... grin.gif



#23 steppy

Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:40 PM

handsfull - a word on the desks. Don't bother unless you plan to go into their room and help them in there! We got desks for the kids and it was the biggest waste of space/money in the house. They liked to work at the kitchen table only because then we were nearby to question.

Edited by steppy, 05 December 2012 - 02:41 PM.


#24 beaglebaby

Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:34 PM

Any chance you can "misplace" the list he wrote at school, where his choices were quite likely to be coloured by the kids around him, and get him to write a new list without outside influences.

I know there is a huge difference between what my children play with and use and what they say they want when they are faced with toy catalogues or friends who have/want expensive gadgets.

#25 handsfull

Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:52 PM

QUOTE (steppy @ 05/12/2012, 03:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
handsfull - a word on the desks. Don't bother unless you plan to go into their room and help them in there! We got desks for the kids and it was the biggest waste of space/money in the house. They liked to work at the kitchen table only because then we were nearby to question.


Steppy, they are actually asking for them....lol!  I agree but they actually need something to put all their crap on!  cool.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN a $500 Visa debit card

Are you a parent? Simply take our survey for your chance to win a $500 pre-paid VISA debit card.

Breastfeeding doesn't make you a better mum - feeding your baby does

Given my immense dislike of Hopkins and her opinions, I was genuinely shocked to discover that last week she actually said something that I agreed with.

'Toni, another baby has died': the anguish of watching governments fail our babies

It has been six years since whooping cough claimed the life of four-week-old Dana McCaffery. Her parents are angry that lessons learnt weren't enough to save other babies.

Longer breastfeeding linked to higher IQ

A study of 3500 infants has found that babies who are breastfed grow up to be more intelligent and wealthy.

The 2015 flu vaccine: what's new, who should get it

For certain members of the community, catching flu can lead to severe illness or death. A vaccination can be lifesaving.

Dealing with a nappy escape artist

I hear about the tots that have a penchant for ripping their nappies off and the odd one that even smears the brown stuff on the walls and fine home furnishings, and I shudder.

Hospital apologises for 'traumatising' baby mix-up

St Vincent's Hospital has apologised "unreservedly" for a baby mix-up that left one new mum traumatised.

Tips for flying with a baby

Travelling with kids requires a whole other set of skills - ones that I have learned through (sometimes unfortunate) trial and error.

How to stay calm in an emergency

I’m not expecting you to be as calm as you might be right now. What I mean is that if your panic levels are through the roof during a stressful situation, let’s bring them down to just under the ceiling.

Toddler gets 'drunk' after cranberry juice mix-up

A toddler was taken to hospital after a waitress served her sangria instead of cranberry juice at a US restaurant.

We need to stop using this word when we talk about childbirth

Is it shaming to point out that women are often being let down in birth?

The certificate helping parents deal with pregnancy loss

For some people, this certificate will offer a sense of validation that their child was acknowledged as being here and now gone, and will help them with life post-loss.

Grieving families give warnings after toddler deaths

Two Queensland families are grieving the loss of their toddler sons after the boys drowned in separate incidents last week.

The phenomenon of phantom pregnancy kicks

'Phantom pregnancy kicks’ are encountered by many mums months - or even years - after their pregnancy is over.

The health insurance advice you can't afford to ignore

There's one simple switch that could save you hundreds of dollars a year in private health insurance.

4D scans show how smoking affects babies still in the womb

The harmful effects of smoking during pregnancy on unborn babies may be seen in tiny movements in their faces using 4D ultrasound scans, research has found.

How to babyproof your job interview

Once upon a time, I was a fan of job interviews. That all changed after I'd switched careers, had a baby and decided to spend the first year at home with her.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

The most dangerous toddler food trends

Pete Evans' paleo cookbook for kids caused a storm, but there are plenty of other unsafe food trends for babies and toddlers.

Infection killed new mum of twins

Modern medicine could not save 19-year-old Sophie Burgess who died 48 hours after giving birth to twins in the UK.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.