Jump to content

I think we chose the wrong name!
advice?


  • Please log in to reply
33 replies to this topic

#1 Elskye

Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:40 AM

So I have read posts like this before and always thought they were a bit odd, with DD1 we picked out a name that we loved and I have never once regretted it or felt we should have named her anything else.  But now I have a beautiful DD2 who is 3months old and I feel like we made a big mistake with the name we chose her. We didn’t find out what we were having either time and both times we just had a list of names and not one we had definitely decided on.  It’s not that I hate the name we chose (it’s nothing horrible or anything) but I find myself wishing we had named her another name. The  name I wish we had called her is rather uncommon like our DD1 and fits much better with her name (they both start with the same letter and even have the same meaning and sound so much better together).  But for some reason we went with a rather mainstream name that isn’t even really our style, I was a little unsure about it to begin with and am now finding I can’t relate it to my baby at all, it just doesn’t seem to suit her.

I have got to the point now where I am actually losing sleep over this (I have a perfect baby who sleeps 8hours a night and I am up worrying about this…ahhh rant.gif ). I have considered changing her name but DH thinks I’m crazy, whilst he will admit that maybe we should have gone with the other name he says we are definitely not changing it; he says everyone would think we are insane and it would be too confusing for DD1(who is 5). He says I should just be grateful that I have a happy, healthy baby and I know he is right but that doesn't make the sick feeling in my stomach that I get everytime I say her name go away. So I guess I am posting this in the hope that someone who has been through something like this will tell me that this feeling goes away with time and that I am not completely nuts after all.
Sorry about the really long post and thanks for reading.

Edited by Elskye, 06 December 2012 - 09:30 AM.


#2 FiveAus

Posted 05 December 2012 - 04:46 AM

Change it. She's only 3 months old, if she lives til she's 100, that's 99 years and 9 months she'll be called the name you like.
Your 5yo will accept it readily enough, they don't overthink things at that age.

#3 mini mac

Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:06 AM

If it means that much to you, just change it.

Or you could just call her by said wishlist name and leave her birth name as an official name to change later if you/she wish to.

Lots of people go by names other than their birth names anyway for a multitude of reasons, of course including some because their parents simply didn't like their name.

#4 vitaechel

Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:14 AM

I would change it. Everyone will adjust.

#5 Bam1

Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:17 AM

Agree with FiveAus, it sounds like the other name will always be "hanging" over your heads. Better to deal with it now than later.

#6 Cancerian Moon

Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:24 AM

I had to compromise with my DH over name choices for both our kids. Sometimes when they were babies and random strangers would ask their names, I'd tell them their names were actually [preferred name] and [preferred name]. Sometimes I wish I could still do that.
Change it before it's too late.

#7 Dionysus

Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:27 AM

I would change it.

Sure, everyone will think it a bit odd for about 5 mins, then they will all go on their merry way.

At 5, I think your eldest would handle it.  I don't have a 5 yr old yet, but my two nephews who are 5 and 6 would not have any problems with it.

Do it now, while she is still young.



#8 ReadySetRace

Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:28 AM

Change it!

We changed DD1's name at birth, deaths and marriages when she was 11 months old. I am so glad every time we write her name.

It wasn't so embarrassing for us though as we changed it to a shortened version of the first name which is what everyone was calling her anyway.

It's usual to be worried you have made a mistake - went through that with DD2 and DD3 but am happy as there wasn't a great alternative.

#9 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:23 AM

I think I would just change the name.

#10 Sophie11

Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:26 AM

I couldnt find a name for my DS so we put a few names in a hat and chose one.  I decided to stay with the one out of the hat...which was Alex.  I hate the name Alex...anyway he loves it...and now I cant imagine him at the original name I had second thoughts on.

I think he loves his name more than life itself...quite funny really..I think he just loves that X in his name  biggrin.gif

#11 zingy

Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:30 AM

This exact thing happened to me when I named my boy/girl twins almost 5 years ago.

I chose a traditional name for my DS and a very unusual name from a completely different culture for my DD.

3 months in and I was regretting my DD's name big time. I was wishing that I have chosen a traditional name that started with the same letter as my DS and just went better with his name.

I agonised over it and put myself through way too much stress for a very long time.

I didn't end up changing her name, I felt embarrassed to do it and I had so many personalised gifts that had her name on them. I basically just didn't have the guts to change it.

This bothered me for quite some time but now I love her name. She has grown into it and they are individuals.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't change it but I wanted to let you know that in time it will probably grow on you and become her.  


#12 ~Nodnol~

Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:31 AM

Change it. We changed our youngest DDs name when she was three months old. It took the kids about a day to get used to it. Everyone else was fine with it too.

#13 emlis22

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:07 AM

Change it. You're only three months in. And if you want, you can keep her 'original' name as her new middle name, should she ever want to revert to it.

I think you will be much happier if you do original.gif

#14 bubblegummum

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:11 AM

I'd change it.  Your 5yo is old enough to understand that you feel the other name was a better suit and in a year or so she'll probaby have forgotten her sister had a different name for a few short months.

#15 Great Dame

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:24 AM

Change it.  Depending on your state, it won't even show up on the birth certificate.  Under 12 mths, they just consider it a 'change of mind' rather than a change of name.

#16 fluttershy

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:34 AM

...

Edited by 20%Cooler, 09 December 2012 - 03:37 PM.


#17 lonsdale

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:37 AM

I think if you don't like it you should change it, however before you do so look into any legal problems you child might have later in life. I know a lot of govt. form ask about any name changes and it can get sticky.

#18 la di dah

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:45 AM

QUOTE (Elskye @ 05/12/2012, 04:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The  name I wish we had called her is rather uncommon like our DD1 and fits much better with her name (they both start with the same letter and even have the same meaning and sound so much better together).


Repeating initials I can deal with OR repeating meaning but both? I'd never do that.

#19 aleithaki

Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:10 AM

It's all very well to tell the OP to change it, but she said her DH didn't agree.

You need to talk more about it with DH until you can both agree on something. Maybe he'll convince you or maybe you'll convince him.

I wouldn't worry about what everyone else might think, though. It will be the talk of your friends for a month and then they'll forget and it will be a non-issue.

#20 JaneLane

Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:33 AM

I would change it.

I know a couple who changed their DD's name at around 12 months. They ended up hating the first name as it was a top 10 girls name and found that everywhere they went there would be at least one or more girl with the same name.  It was no issue for anyone else not that you should worry what others think anyway.  Their older 2 boys were 4 and 6 at the time and they easily got use to the new name.

Edited by blue4me, 05 December 2012 - 09:34 AM.


#21 Sophie11

Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:58 PM

I wouldnt its just a name...there will be lots of other things to stress about -
I think its just takes a while to settle the baby into a name.
Call it baby for a while...
I never liked my babies name...but now i cldnt care less...I wish thats all I had to worry about.
Have another one and call it the name your thinking...
I think you will wish you had of kept it ifyou change it...
my mother used to go on to me about what she wanted to call me...and i used to think yes that wld of been nice but that other name is sooooo not me....funny looking back.
I think things are the way they are for a reason so accept it and enjoy that bundle of joy.

#22 bokbok

Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:56 PM

Agree with PP about OP DH not wanting to change name - it would take both parents to be able to change a child's name.

OP- care to share what the names are at all please? We might have a better understanding of where you are coming from?

Definitely think about what it was that made you name your DD2 that name in the first place - this might help you become at peace with it?



#23 Starrydawn

Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:07 PM

She has already said her DH doesn't want to change it. So it is not as simple as change it.

Personally I would stick with the name I chose and learn to love it.

#24 PurpleNess

Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:51 PM

I can't imagine calling my child something I didn't love every day... so I'd change it, 3 months...gosh when your bub is 1 you won't remember what happened at 3 months lol, do what make you happy.
Unless of course it is too similar to DD1.....

#25 Girlo

Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:43 PM

I'm going against the majority here, but please DON'T change the name.... She will forever more need to write her original name on forms as her previous name so it's not like it will be a secret. Think about how often you have to write your maiden name (not sure if that applies to you??) and she will have to d the same. when you enrol her for school you will need to explain both names and no doubt she will wnder why.

But as pointed out, your husband doesn't want to change it.

I think you are just over thinking it. It sounds like you love your daughter very much and are over analysing her name! Be content with the name you chose and soon it will seem silly that you contemplated her with another name.

Hope you get some peace soon.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Life with anxiety

At times, I feel pretty worthless. In those moments, all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide in the dark. I can try to quiet my mind, but it won?t shut up.

IVF leaves woman pregnant with another couple's twins

An Italian woman has been told the twins she is three months pregnant with are not hers.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

What you need for the 'fourth trimester'

In my opinion, the first three months after the birth are the most intense. Here's what got me through that time after welcoming my baby.

Weaning a toddler off a dummy: a 15-day plan

Weaning your child off the dummy can be a traumatic experience for both of you. Here are some tips to help you through.

Choosing to be a solo parent

Two women share their stories of longing for a baby so much that they each decided not to wait for a partner before becoming a mum.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

The ultimate travel stroller: the Mountain Buggy nano

We tried the Mountain Buggy nano and give it an enthusiastic thumbs up. As the ultimate travel stroller, it's practical, has great features, and looks fab, too.

Mum's heartbreak as son dies in road accident

Daly Thomas and her two young sons were walking home from church on Tuesday afternoon. Her youngest son never made it.

New Kate Spade baby bag designs

Don?t adjust your screen: this bright beauty is coming to you in full colour.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Itchibubs: clothes for babies and toddlers with eczema

Parents of children who suffer from eczema will know only too well the scratching that occurs around the clock. A new clothing range aims to help make everyone more comfortable.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Caring for kids helps grandmothers stay mentally alert

Looking after grandchildren can help grandmothers ward off brain disease - but it's also possible to get too much of a good thing, researchers say.

Why I loved my third home water birth

After two water births at home, I was determined to give birth to my son the same way. I just hoped this birth would be quicker than my last two.

Revealed: 7 ways food marketers try to trick consumers

If you?re confused by food labels, you?re not alone. Next time you?re shopping for food, look out for these seven common labelling tricks.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.