I think we chose the wrong name!
, Dec 05 2012 03:40 AM
34 replies to this topic
Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:40 AM
So I have read posts like this before and always thought they were a bit odd, with DD1 we picked out a name that we loved and I have never once regretted it or felt we should have named her anything else. But now I have a beautiful DD2 who is 3months old and I feel like we made a big mistake with the name we chose her. We didn’t find out what we were having either time and both times we just had a list of names and not one we had definitely decided on. It’s not that I hate the name we chose (it’s nothing horrible or anything) but I find myself wishing we had named her another name. The name I wish we had called her is rather uncommon like our DD1 and fits much better with her name (they both start with the same letter and even have the same meaning and sound so much better together). But for some reason we went with a rather mainstream name that isn’t even really our style, I was a little unsure about it to begin with and am now finding I can’t relate it to my baby at all, it just doesn’t seem to suit her.
I have got to the point now where I am actually losing sleep over this (I have a perfect baby who sleeps 8hours a night and I am up worrying about this…ahhh
). I have considered changing her name but DH thinks I’m crazy, whilst he will admit that maybe we should have gone with the other name he says we are definitely not changing it; he says everyone would think we are insane and it would be too confusing for DD1(who is 5). He says I should just be grateful that I have a happy, healthy baby and I know he is right but that doesn't make the sick feeling in my stomach that I get everytime I say her name go away. So I guess I am posting this in the hope that someone who has been through something like this will tell me that this feeling goes away with time and that I am not completely nuts after all.
Sorry about the really long post and thanks for reading.
Edited by Elskye, 06 December 2012 - 09:30 AM.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 04:46 AM
Change it. She's only 3 months old, if she lives til she's 100, that's 99 years and 9 months she'll be called the name you like.
Your 5yo will accept it readily enough, they don't overthink things at that age.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:06 AM
If it means that much to you, just change it.
Or you could just call her by said wishlist name and leave her birth name as an official name to change later if you/she wish to.
Lots of people go by names other than their birth names anyway for a multitude of reasons, of course including some because their parents simply didn't like their name.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:14 AM
I would change it. Everyone will adjust.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:17 AM
Agree with FiveAus, it sounds like the other name will always be "hanging" over your heads. Better to deal with it now than later.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:17 AM
If it upsets you that much then change it. However...... Havings said that I had a similar experience with my first ( though no loss of sleep). I had two boys names however whilst pregnant decided on one for my first and the other for any subsequent boys. Had baby, told everyone the name, filled in forms, came home with baby........ Started thinking should have called him the other name. Went on like this for about a couple of weeks or so. I kept having these little panicky feelings and seriously considered broaching it with DH. (Hadn't told him before as I tend to 'stew' on things by myself).
Ended up not changing it and glad I didn't. I suspect my situation is different though as I later decided that maybe it was a little panic sttack sbout having the responsibility of naming someone? Whereas you already have a child. Maybe you should look at it differently and first think back to why you did chose the name?
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:24 AM
I had to compromise with my DH over name choices for both our kids. Sometimes when they were babies and random strangers would ask their names, I'd tell them their names were actually [preferred name] and [preferred name]. Sometimes I wish I could still do that.
Change it before it's too late.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:27 AM
I would change it.
Sure, everyone will think it a bit odd for about 5 mins, then they will all go on their merry way.
At 5, I think your eldest would handle it. I don't have a 5 yr old yet, but my two nephews who are 5 and 6 would not have any problems with it.
Do it now, while she is still young.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:28 AM
We changed DD1's name at birth, deaths and marriages when she was 11 months old. I am so glad every time we write her name.
It wasn't so embarrassing for us though as we changed it to a shortened version of the first name which is what everyone was calling her anyway.
It's usual to be worried you have made a mistake - went through that with DD2 and DD3 but am happy as there wasn't a great alternative.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:23 AM
I think I would just change the name.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:26 AM
I couldnt find a name for my DS so we put a few names in a hat and chose one. I decided to stay with the one out of the hat...which was Alex. I hate the name Alex...anyway he loves it...and now I cant imagine him at the original name I had second thoughts on.
I think he loves his name more than life itself...quite funny really..I think he just loves that X in his name
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:30 AM
This exact thing happened to me when I named my boy/girl twins almost 5 years ago.
I chose a traditional name for my DS and a very unusual name from a completely different culture for my DD.
3 months in and I was regretting my DD's name big time. I was wishing that I have chosen a traditional name that started with the same letter as my DS and just went better with his name.
I agonised over it and put myself through way too much stress for a very long time.
I didn't end up changing her name, I felt embarrassed to do it and I had so many personalised gifts that had her name on them. I basically just didn't have the guts to change it.
This bothered me for quite some time but now I love her name. She has grown into it and they are individuals.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't change it but I wanted to let you know that in time it will probably grow on you and become her.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:31 AM
Change it. We changed our youngest DDs name when she was three months old. It took the kids about a day to get used to it. Everyone else was fine with it too.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:07 AM
Change it. You're only three months in. And if you want, you can keep her 'original' name as her new middle name, should she ever want to revert to it.
I think you will be much happier if you do
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:11 AM
I'd change it. Your 5yo is old enough to understand that you feel the other name was a better suit and in a year or so she'll probaby have forgotten her sister had a different name for a few short months.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:24 AM
Change it. Depending on your state, it won't even show up on the birth certificate. Under 12 mths, they just consider it a 'change of mind' rather than a change of name.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:34 AM
Edited by 20%Cooler, 09 December 2012 - 03:37 PM.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:37 AM
I think if you don't like it you should change it, however before you do so look into any legal problems you child might have later in life. I know a lot of govt. form ask about any name changes and it can get sticky.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:45 AM
The name I wish we had called her is rather uncommon like our DD1 and fits much better with her name (they both start with the same letter and even have the same meaning and sound so much better together).
Repeating initials I can deal with OR repeating meaning but both? I'd never do that.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:10 AM
It's all very well to tell the OP to change it, but she said her DH didn't agree.
You need to talk more about it with DH until you can both agree on something. Maybe he'll convince you or maybe you'll convince him.
I wouldn't worry about what everyone else might think, though. It will be the talk of your friends for a month and then they'll forget and it will be a non-issue.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:33 AM
I would change it.
I know a couple who changed their DD's name at around 12 months. They ended up hating the first name as it was a top 10 girls name and found that everywhere they went there would be at least one or more girl with the same name. It was no issue for anyone else not that you should worry what others think anyway. Their older 2 boys were 4 and 6 at the time and they easily got use to the new name.
Edited by blue4me, 05 December 2012 - 09:34 AM.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:58 PM
I wouldnt its just a name...there will be lots of other things to stress about -
I think its just takes a while to settle the baby into a name.
Call it baby for a while...
I never liked my babies name...but now i cldnt care less...I wish thats all I had to worry about.
Have another one and call it the name your thinking...
I think you will wish you had of kept it ifyou change it...
my mother used to go on to me about what she wanted to call me...and i used to think yes that wld of been nice but that other name is sooooo not me....funny looking back.
I think things are the way they are for a reason so accept it and enjoy that bundle of joy.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:56 PM
Agree with PP about OP DH not wanting to change name - it would take both parents to be able to change a child's name.
OP- care to share what the names are at all please? We might have a better understanding of where you are coming from?
Definitely think about what it was that made you name your DD2 that name in the first place - this might help you become at peace with it?
Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:07 PM
She has already said her DH doesn't want to change it. So it is not as simple as change it.
Personally I would stick with the name I chose and learn to love it.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:51 PM
I can't imagine calling my child something I didn't love every day... so I'd change it, 3 months...gosh when your bub is 1 you won't remember what happened at 3 months lol, do what make you happy.
Unless of course it is too similar to DD1.....
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