Jump to content

I think we chose the wrong name!
advice?


  • Please log in to reply
31 replies to this topic

#1 Elskye

Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:40 AM

So I have read posts like this before and always thought they were a bit odd, with DD1 we picked out a name that we loved and I have never once regretted it or felt we should have named her anything else.  But now I have a beautiful DD2 who is 3months old and I feel like we made a big mistake with the name we chose her. We didn’t find out what we were having either time and both times we just had a list of names and not one we had definitely decided on.  It’s not that I hate the name we chose (it’s nothing horrible or anything) but I find myself wishing we had named her another name. The  name I wish we had called her is rather uncommon like our DD1 and fits much better with her name (they both start with the same letter and even have the same meaning and sound so much better together).  But for some reason we went with a rather mainstream name that isn’t even really our style, I was a little unsure about it to begin with and am now finding I can’t relate it to my baby at all, it just doesn’t seem to suit her.

I have got to the point now where I am actually losing sleep over this (I have a perfect baby who sleeps 8hours a night and I am up worrying about this…ahhh rant.gif ). I have considered changing her name but DH thinks I’m crazy, whilst he will admit that maybe we should have gone with the other name he says we are definitely not changing it; he says everyone would think we are insane and it would be too confusing for DD1(who is 5). He says I should just be grateful that I have a happy, healthy baby and I know he is right but that doesn't make the sick feeling in my stomach that I get everytime I say her name go away. So I guess I am posting this in the hope that someone who has been through something like this will tell me that this feeling goes away with time and that I am not completely nuts after all.
Sorry about the really long post and thanks for reading.

Edited by Elskye, 06 December 2012 - 09:30 AM.


#2 FiveAus

Posted 05 December 2012 - 04:46 AM

Change it. She's only 3 months old, if she lives til she's 100, that's 99 years and 9 months she'll be called the name you like.
Your 5yo will accept it readily enough, they don't overthink things at that age.

#3 mini mac

Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:06 AM

If it means that much to you, just change it.

Or you could just call her by said wishlist name and leave her birth name as an official name to change later if you/she wish to.

Lots of people go by names other than their birth names anyway for a multitude of reasons, of course including some because their parents simply didn't like their name.

#4 Praetor VitaeChel

Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:14 AM

I would change it. Everyone will adjust.

#5 Bam1

Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:17 AM

Agree with FiveAus, it sounds like the other name will always be "hanging" over your heads. Better to deal with it now than later.

#6 Berndt Tőst

Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:24 AM

I had to compromise with my DH over name choices for both our kids. Sometimes when they were babies and random strangers would ask their names, I'd tell them their names were actually [preferred name] and [preferred name]. Sometimes I wish I could still do that.
Change it before it's too late.

#7 Dionysus

Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:27 AM

I would change it.

Sure, everyone will think it a bit odd for about 5 mins, then they will all go on their merry way.

At 5, I think your eldest would handle it.  I don't have a 5 yr old yet, but my two nephews who are 5 and 6 would not have any problems with it.

Do it now, while she is still young.



#8 QueenElsa

Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:28 AM

Change it!

We changed DD1's name at birth, deaths and marriages when she was 11 months old. I am so glad every time we write her name.

It wasn't so embarrassing for us though as we changed it to a shortened version of the first name which is what everyone was calling her anyway.

It's usual to be worried you have made a mistake - went through that with DD2 and DD3 but am happy as there wasn't a great alternative.

#9 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:23 AM

I think I would just change the name.

#10 Sophie11

Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:26 AM

I couldnt find a name for my DS so we put a few names in a hat and chose one.  I decided to stay with the one out of the hat...which was Alex.  I hate the name Alex...anyway he loves it...and now I cant imagine him at the original name I had second thoughts on.

I think he loves his name more than life itself...quite funny really..I think he just loves that X in his name  biggrin.gif

#11 zingy

Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:30 AM

This exact thing happened to me when I named my boy/girl twins almost 5 years ago.

I chose a traditional name for my DS and a very unusual name from a completely different culture for my DD.

3 months in and I was regretting my DD's name big time. I was wishing that I have chosen a traditional name that started with the same letter as my DS and just went better with his name.

I agonised over it and put myself through way too much stress for a very long time.

I didn't end up changing her name, I felt embarrassed to do it and I had so many personalised gifts that had her name on them. I basically just didn't have the guts to change it.

This bothered me for quite some time but now I love her name. She has grown into it and they are individuals.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't change it but I wanted to let you know that in time it will probably grow on you and become her.  


#12 ~Nodnol~

Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:31 AM

Change it. We changed our youngest DDs name when she was three months old. It took the kids about a day to get used to it. Everyone else was fine with it too.

#13 emlis22

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:07 AM

Change it. You're only three months in. And if you want, you can keep her 'original' name as her new middle name, should she ever want to revert to it.

I think you will be much happier if you do original.gif

#14 bubblegummum

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:11 AM

I'd change it.  Your 5yo is old enough to understand that you feel the other name was a better suit and in a year or so she'll probaby have forgotten her sister had a different name for a few short months.

#15 lonsdale

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:37 AM

I think if you don't like it you should change it, however before you do so look into any legal problems you child might have later in life. I know a lot of govt. form ask about any name changes and it can get sticky.

#16 la di dah

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:45 AM

QUOTE (Elskye @ 05/12/2012, 04:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The  name I wish we had called her is rather uncommon like our DD1 and fits much better with her name (they both start with the same letter and even have the same meaning and sound so much better together).


Repeating initials I can deal with OR repeating meaning but both? I'd never do that.

#17 foupie3

Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:10 AM

It's all very well to tell the OP to change it, but she said her DH didn't agree.

You need to talk more about it with DH until you can both agree on something. Maybe he'll convince you or maybe you'll convince him.

I wouldn't worry about what everyone else might think, though. It will be the talk of your friends for a month and then they'll forget and it will be a non-issue.

#18 JaneLane

Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:33 AM

I would change it.

I know a couple who changed their DD's name at around 12 months. They ended up hating the first name as it was a top 10 girls name and found that everywhere they went there would be at least one or more girl with the same name.  It was no issue for anyone else not that you should worry what others think anyway.  Their older 2 boys were 4 and 6 at the time and they easily got use to the new name.

Edited by blue4me, 05 December 2012 - 09:34 AM.


#19 Sophie11

Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:58 PM

I wouldnt its just a name...there will be lots of other things to stress about -
I think its just takes a while to settle the baby into a name.
Call it baby for a while...
I never liked my babies name...but now i cldnt care less...I wish thats all I had to worry about.
Have another one and call it the name your thinking...
I think you will wish you had of kept it ifyou change it...
my mother used to go on to me about what she wanted to call me...and i used to think yes that wld of been nice but that other name is sooooo not me....funny looking back.
I think things are the way they are for a reason so accept it and enjoy that bundle of joy.

#20 Stronger

Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:56 PM

Agree with PP about OP DH not wanting to change name - it would take both parents to be able to change a child's name.

OP- care to share what the names are at all please? We might have a better understanding of where you are coming from?

Definitely think about what it was that made you name your DD2 that name in the first place - this might help you become at peace with it?



#21 Starrydawn

Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:07 PM

She has already said her DH doesn't want to change it. So it is not as simple as change it.

Personally I would stick with the name I chose and learn to love it.

#22 PurpleNess

Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:51 PM

I can't imagine calling my child something I didn't love every day... so I'd change it, 3 months...gosh when your bub is 1 you won't remember what happened at 3 months lol, do what make you happy.
Unless of course it is too similar to DD1.....

#23 Girlo

Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:43 PM

I'm going against the majority here, but please DON'T change the name.... She will forever more need to write her original name on forms as her previous name so it's not like it will be a secret. Think about how often you have to write your maiden name (not sure if that applies to you??) and she will have to d the same. when you enrol her for school you will need to explain both names and no doubt she will wnder why.

But as pointed out, your husband doesn't want to change it.

I think you are just over thinking it. It sounds like you love your daughter very much and are over analysing her name! Be content with the name you chose and soon it will seem silly that you contemplated her with another name.

Hope you get some peace soon.


#24 dorkalicious

Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:43 PM

You're losing sleep over a name? One that is apparently a perfectly fine name with no negative connotations other than it doesn't match your DD1's name?
I have never understood these kinds of posts.

#25 Born Slippy

Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:07 PM

Change it, but only if you and your DH mutually agree to do so. Otherwise, give her a nickname.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

5 workplace lessons for new parents

Take heart in these principles that will transfer seamlessly from the workplace into your new life as a parent.

Review: The Volvo 2015 XC90 SUV has all the safety features your family needs

The new Volvo XC90 SUV's focus on keeping you safe does not come at the expense of comfort in the XC90.

Kim Kardashian reveals she may have hysterectomy

Kim Kardashian has revealed complications during pregnancy means she might have to have a hysterectomy after the birth of her second child.

Why late night snacks wreak havoc on weight loss

 Loath as you may be to admit it, chances are that at some point you have found yourself in the kitchen late at night, devouring food.

Toddler twins pretend to be asleep to fool mum

They say twins have a unique connection. If this cute clip is anything to go by, these toddler sisters like to use their special bond to try to fool their mother.

Dads who do their share have more sex: study

For women trying to encourage their partners to take more interest in fatherhood, it could be the ultimate incentive.

Think you might have IBS, coeliac disease or Crohn's? Here's what you need to know

Conditions affecting the gastrointestinal tract are common in modern humans, and many are on the rise - including irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and coeliac disease.

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer.

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

When your toddler disagrees

There comes a time when your child starts having different views to you. I didn't realise that time would come so soon.

The exercises you know you should be doing (but probably aren't)

I bet your to-do list today is long. But somewhere on that massive list, are you making time for your pelvic floor?

How did we have babies before apps came along?

Three months ago, my wife, Chrysta, and I were driving along Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles when she let out a harrowing cry.

This baby really loves the family cat

Some babies get excited when mum or dad come to get them from their cot after a nap.

Woman gives birth after having her own mother's uterus transplanted

In a world first, a healthy baby has been born from the same womb that nurtured his own mother.

Home brand foods contain less salt than pricier rivals

Supermarket home brand foods, long derided as cheap and inferior, contain far lower levels of salt than pricier, branded rivals, new research shows.

Early exposure to peanuts recommended for allergy prevention

A paediatricians' group is recommending that infants at high risk of peanut allergies be given foods containing peanuts before they turn one.

Nannies for hire, wherever you're flying

Ever dreaded the prospect of a long flight, dreaming about how wonderful it would be for a nanny to entertain the kids?

Is it okay to name your baby with a sense of humour?

My husband was sure that Danger was a good option for a boy. And as the pregnancy progressed, it actually started to sound really good.

So hot right now: double-barrelled baby names on the rise

It's one way to make your baby stand out from the pack – giving them not one, but two first names.

Second time around: is it really better the devil you know?

When I fell pregnant with my second child I was, naturally, very excited. Then it all started to come back to me - and I freaked.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The worst 20 minutes of my life

Thirty seconds was all it took to turn a shopping trip into my worst nightmare.

Top baby names for England and Wales in 2014

George has overtaken William in the official rankings of most popular British baby names - and Game of Thrones is still having an impact on parents.

Baseball or baby? Dad's tough choice

What's more important, a baby or a baseball? That's a question this dad seems to struggle with.

Childbirth choices: five star or free?

It's not often you hear the words labour and luxury in the same sentence but for some, a 5-star start to parenthood is exactly what they seek. And with a number of private hospitals now offering packages which include a post-birth stay at a sumptuous first class resort, many mums are choosing to recover in style.

'Where did your boobies go, Mummy?' and other soul-destroying comments from kids

Most women carry a smidge of baby weight after giving birth. If you're lucky enough to have an older child in the house, they can keep you on track with your weight loss goals.

Do you read me, baby?

Is it too soon to be reading to my two-month-old son? If not, what should I read?

Minimising sibling rivalry when you've got a baby

Sibling rivalry is an act of competition, but if your children feel involved and special, this type of jealousy will be minimised.

Will studying on maternity leave take you away from your most important job?

I remember when I was trying to decide if I could combine motherhood and furthering my university education.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

Preschooler hit by car shortly after baby brother's death

A mother has had a frantic race to the hospital after her daughter was hit by a car, just four weeks after her infant son died.

Gay couple and Thai surrogate in custody tug-of-war

A six-month-old baby girl is trapped in the Thai capital in a bitter custody wrangle between her Thai surrogate mother and her biological father.

Couple denied IVF over parenting concerns

A mother of six has been denied access to IVF treatment in order to have another child over concerns about her parenting skills.

The book that promises to put your children to sleep

Exhausted parents from around the world are singing the praises of a "miracle" book which promises to put even the most restless child to sleep in just minutes.

5 things every parent who feels guilty needs to know

Parenthood can make you feel bad, but you're not alone.

Royals criticise 'dangerous' attempts to photograph Prince George

The British royal family criticized paparazzi on Friday for what it called their increasingly dangerous attempts to photograph young Prince George.

'No jab, no play' rule to cover Victorian kindergartens and childcare centres

"Anti-vaxxers" face not being able to send their children to childcare centres or kindergarten if they refuse to have them immunised.

15,000 birthing kits on their way to developing countries

Giving birth in a hospital surrounded by medical experts is tough enough, but some women deliver babies without a clean sheet to lie on.

Photo of premmie 'too graphic', fundraising site says

When their son Jacob was born at just 27 weeks, Christina and Jeff Hinks were thrown into an uncertain world.

The latest Bugaboo collections: cool chevron and runner prams

Bugaboo sure likes to keep things fresh, and with the Australian spring/summer season coming up, there are two new Bugaboo pram releases.

Making room for two in the bed

Mum's room or their own room? Cot or bassinets? Deciding where twins will sleep can be tricky.

 

FREE TICKET

Discover the magic of the LEGO DUPLO Play Area in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.