I think we chose the wrong name!
, Dec 05 2012 03:40 AM
31 replies to this topic
Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:40 AM
So I have read posts like this before and always thought they were a bit odd, with DD1 we picked out a name that we loved and I have never once regretted it or felt we should have named her anything else. But now I have a beautiful DD2 who is 3months old and I feel like we made a big mistake with the name we chose her. We didn’t find out what we were having either time and both times we just had a list of names and not one we had definitely decided on. It’s not that I hate the name we chose (it’s nothing horrible or anything) but I find myself wishing we had named her another name. The name I wish we had called her is rather uncommon like our DD1 and fits much better with her name (they both start with the same letter and even have the same meaning and sound so much better together). But for some reason we went with a rather mainstream name that isn’t even really our style, I was a little unsure about it to begin with and am now finding I can’t relate it to my baby at all, it just doesn’t seem to suit her.
I have got to the point now where I am actually losing sleep over this (I have a perfect baby who sleeps 8hours a night and I am up worrying about this…ahhh
). I have considered changing her name but DH thinks I’m crazy, whilst he will admit that maybe we should have gone with the other name he says we are definitely not changing it; he says everyone would think we are insane and it would be too confusing for DD1(who is 5). He says I should just be grateful that I have a happy, healthy baby and I know he is right but that doesn't make the sick feeling in my stomach that I get everytime I say her name go away. So I guess I am posting this in the hope that someone who has been through something like this will tell me that this feeling goes away with time and that I am not completely nuts after all.
Sorry about the really long post and thanks for reading.
Edited by Elskye, 06 December 2012 - 09:30 AM.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 04:46 AM
Change it. She's only 3 months old, if she lives til she's 100, that's 99 years and 9 months she'll be called the name you like.
Your 5yo will accept it readily enough, they don't overthink things at that age.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:06 AM
If it means that much to you, just change it.
Or you could just call her by said wishlist name and leave her birth name as an official name to change later if you/she wish to.
Lots of people go by names other than their birth names anyway for a multitude of reasons, of course including some because their parents simply didn't like their name.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:14 AM
I would change it. Everyone will adjust.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:17 AM
Agree with FiveAus, it sounds like the other name will always be "hanging" over your heads. Better to deal with it now than later.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:24 AM
I had to compromise with my DH over name choices for both our kids. Sometimes when they were babies and random strangers would ask their names, I'd tell them their names were actually [preferred name] and [preferred name]. Sometimes I wish I could still do that.
Change it before it's too late.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:27 AM
I would change it.
Sure, everyone will think it a bit odd for about 5 mins, then they will all go on their merry way.
At 5, I think your eldest would handle it. I don't have a 5 yr old yet, but my two nephews who are 5 and 6 would not have any problems with it.
Do it now, while she is still young.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:28 AM
We changed DD1's name at birth, deaths and marriages when she was 11 months old. I am so glad every time we write her name.
It wasn't so embarrassing for us though as we changed it to a shortened version of the first name which is what everyone was calling her anyway.
It's usual to be worried you have made a mistake - went through that with DD2 and DD3 but am happy as there wasn't a great alternative.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:23 AM
I think I would just change the name.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:26 AM
I couldnt find a name for my DS so we put a few names in a hat and chose one. I decided to stay with the one out of the hat...which was Alex. I hate the name Alex...anyway he loves it...and now I cant imagine him at the original name I had second thoughts on.
I think he loves his name more than life itself...quite funny really..I think he just loves that X in his name
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:30 AM
This exact thing happened to me when I named my boy/girl twins almost 5 years ago.
I chose a traditional name for my DS and a very unusual name from a completely different culture for my DD.
3 months in and I was regretting my DD's name big time. I was wishing that I have chosen a traditional name that started with the same letter as my DS and just went better with his name.
I agonised over it and put myself through way too much stress for a very long time.
I didn't end up changing her name, I felt embarrassed to do it and I had so many personalised gifts that had her name on them. I basically just didn't have the guts to change it.
This bothered me for quite some time but now I love her name. She has grown into it and they are individuals.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't change it but I wanted to let you know that in time it will probably grow on you and become her.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:31 AM
Change it. We changed our youngest DDs name when she was three months old. It took the kids about a day to get used to it. Everyone else was fine with it too.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:07 AM
Change it. You're only three months in. And if you want, you can keep her 'original' name as her new middle name, should she ever want to revert to it.
I think you will be much happier if you do
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:11 AM
I'd change it. Your 5yo is old enough to understand that you feel the other name was a better suit and in a year or so she'll probaby have forgotten her sister had a different name for a few short months.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:37 AM
I think if you don't like it you should change it, however before you do so look into any legal problems you child might have later in life. I know a lot of govt. form ask about any name changes and it can get sticky.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:45 AM
The name I wish we had called her is rather uncommon like our DD1 and fits much better with her name (they both start with the same letter and even have the same meaning and sound so much better together).
Repeating initials I can deal with OR repeating meaning but both? I'd never do that.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:10 AM
It's all very well to tell the OP to change it, but she said her DH didn't agree.
You need to talk more about it with DH until you can both agree on something. Maybe he'll convince you or maybe you'll convince him.
I wouldn't worry about what everyone else might think, though. It will be the talk of your friends for a month and then they'll forget and it will be a non-issue.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:33 AM
I would change it.
I know a couple who changed their DD's name at around 12 months. They ended up hating the first name as it was a top 10 girls name and found that everywhere they went there would be at least one or more girl with the same name. It was no issue for anyone else not that you should worry what others think anyway. Their older 2 boys were 4 and 6 at the time and they easily got use to the new name.
Edited by blue4me, 05 December 2012 - 09:34 AM.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:58 PM
I wouldnt its just a name...there will be lots of other things to stress about -
I think its just takes a while to settle the baby into a name.
Call it baby for a while...
I never liked my babies name...but now i cldnt care less...I wish thats all I had to worry about.
Have another one and call it the name your thinking...
I think you will wish you had of kept it ifyou change it...
my mother used to go on to me about what she wanted to call me...and i used to think yes that wld of been nice but that other name is sooooo not me....funny looking back.
I think things are the way they are for a reason so accept it and enjoy that bundle of joy.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:56 PM
Agree with PP about OP DH not wanting to change name - it would take both parents to be able to change a child's name.
OP- care to share what the names are at all please? We might have a better understanding of where you are coming from?
Definitely think about what it was that made you name your DD2 that name in the first place - this might help you become at peace with it?
Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:07 PM
She has already said her DH doesn't want to change it. So it is not as simple as change it.
Personally I would stick with the name I chose and learn to love it.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:51 PM
I can't imagine calling my child something I didn't love every day... so I'd change it, 3 months...gosh when your bub is 1 you won't remember what happened at 3 months lol, do what make you happy.
Unless of course it is too similar to DD1.....
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:43 PM
I'm going against the majority here, but please DON'T change the name.... She will forever more need to write her original name on forms as her previous name so it's not like it will be a secret. Think about how often you have to write your maiden name (not sure if that applies to you??) and she will have to d the same. when you enrol her for school you will need to explain both names and no doubt she will wnder why.
But as pointed out, your husband doesn't want to change it.
I think you are just over thinking it. It sounds like you love your daughter very much and are over analysing her name! Be content with the name you chose and soon it will seem silly that you contemplated her with another name.
Hope you get some peace soon.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:43 PM
You're losing sleep over a name? One that is apparently a perfectly fine name with no negative connotations other than it doesn't match your DD1's name?
I have never understood these kinds of posts.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:07 PM
Change it, but only if you and your DH mutually agree to do so. Otherwise, give her a nickname.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.
Love may have won, but it came with quite the wait.
The family of missing boy William Tyrrell will mark his fourth birthday on Friday making a cake to share with friends and family as NSW police renewed their public appeal for information on his disappearance.
A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.
Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.
My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.
Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.
This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.
It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.
Are you a parent, or are you planning to be? Tell us what you think and you'll go in the draw to win a $500 gift card!
Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.
Former All Black Jerry Collins' critically injured orphaned daughter has awoken from her coma and is able to bottle-feed.
One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.
Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.
From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.
While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.
Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.
A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.
Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".
Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.
Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.
The uncle of the seven-year-old girl at the centre of the brawl at child's birthday party in Sydney's west has described the events leading up to the alarming show of violence.
More often than not, you'll read that screen time for children should be kept to a minimum - but some scientists are now challenging this way of thinking.
Natalie Reilly describes three main types of conversations mothers have. And, surprise, they're not all about kids.
A baby's smell, the noises it makes and even its gaze can contribute to the potential for a dog attack.
It was meant to be a tasteful cake to help celebrate a three-year-old's christening.
How many times have you been warned about all the sleepless nights you have to 'look forward to' when you become a parent?
A police officer arrived at a devastating scene on Thursday: a car crash resulting in all passengers being thrown from the vehicle.
Want to open the boardroom doors for women? Encourage - heck, praise - dads who stay home with their children.
Just two days after giving birth, actor Alec Balwin's wife posted a post-baby picture on social media.
Compliance is part of the parent-child relationship, but so is resistance. It's all natural.
The Baird government will include $22.8 million in Tuesday's NSW budget to expand a program designed to help parents at risk of postnatal depression (PND).
I'm really lucky to have two great kids, but I found it really tough with so much being aimed at the mothers and not the fathers.
Mums returning to work - and yes, dads too - aren't the same as when they left. But that doesn't mean they're not as good as they once were.
How do you create an original pregnancy announcement and gender reveal? You turn to Britney Spears.
When told that they are having a 'big baby', many women have a lot of fears. But those fears are often unfounded.
This bizarre snack takes the cake (of soap) when it comes to weird pregnancy cravings.
Can you spot him in the video? The child who loses his rubber ring, panics, and then almost drowns? It isn't easy.
Yes, I know it's silly. I know all the advice from experts is to use the right terminology from the moment your child can talk. But I just can't.
Bree O'Malley has a cancer diagnosis, a rare blood condition, kidney and liver failure and other complications. And she is pregnant with triplets.
Are you are parent or planning to be? We want to know what you think - let us know and you'll be in the draw to win a $500 gift card.