I think we chose the wrong name!
, Dec 05 2012 03:40 AM
31 replies to this topic
Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:40 AM
So I have read posts like this before and always thought they were a bit odd, with DD1 we picked out a name that we loved and I have never once regretted it or felt we should have named her anything else. But now I have a beautiful DD2 who is 3months old and I feel like we made a big mistake with the name we chose her. We didn’t find out what we were having either time and both times we just had a list of names and not one we had definitely decided on. It’s not that I hate the name we chose (it’s nothing horrible or anything) but I find myself wishing we had named her another name. The name I wish we had called her is rather uncommon like our DD1 and fits much better with her name (they both start with the same letter and even have the same meaning and sound so much better together). But for some reason we went with a rather mainstream name that isn’t even really our style, I was a little unsure about it to begin with and am now finding I can’t relate it to my baby at all, it just doesn’t seem to suit her.
I have got to the point now where I am actually losing sleep over this (I have a perfect baby who sleeps 8hours a night and I am up worrying about this…ahhh
). I have considered changing her name but DH thinks I’m crazy, whilst he will admit that maybe we should have gone with the other name he says we are definitely not changing it; he says everyone would think we are insane and it would be too confusing for DD1(who is 5). He says I should just be grateful that I have a happy, healthy baby and I know he is right but that doesn't make the sick feeling in my stomach that I get everytime I say her name go away. So I guess I am posting this in the hope that someone who has been through something like this will tell me that this feeling goes away with time and that I am not completely nuts after all.
Sorry about the really long post and thanks for reading.
Edited by Elskye, 06 December 2012 - 09:30 AM.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 04:46 AM
Change it. She's only 3 months old, if she lives til she's 100, that's 99 years and 9 months she'll be called the name you like.
Your 5yo will accept it readily enough, they don't overthink things at that age.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:06 AM
If it means that much to you, just change it.
Or you could just call her by said wishlist name and leave her birth name as an official name to change later if you/she wish to.
Lots of people go by names other than their birth names anyway for a multitude of reasons, of course including some because their parents simply didn't like their name.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:14 AM
I would change it. Everyone will adjust.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:17 AM
Agree with FiveAus, it sounds like the other name will always be "hanging" over your heads. Better to deal with it now than later.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:24 AM
I had to compromise with my DH over name choices for both our kids. Sometimes when they were babies and random strangers would ask their names, I'd tell them their names were actually [preferred name] and [preferred name]. Sometimes I wish I could still do that.
Change it before it's too late.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:27 AM
I would change it.
Sure, everyone will think it a bit odd for about 5 mins, then they will all go on their merry way.
At 5, I think your eldest would handle it. I don't have a 5 yr old yet, but my two nephews who are 5 and 6 would not have any problems with it.
Do it now, while she is still young.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:28 AM
We changed DD1's name at birth, deaths and marriages when she was 11 months old. I am so glad every time we write her name.
It wasn't so embarrassing for us though as we changed it to a shortened version of the first name which is what everyone was calling her anyway.
It's usual to be worried you have made a mistake - went through that with DD2 and DD3 but am happy as there wasn't a great alternative.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:23 AM
I think I would just change the name.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:26 AM
I couldnt find a name for my DS so we put a few names in a hat and chose one. I decided to stay with the one out of the hat...which was Alex. I hate the name Alex...anyway he loves it...and now I cant imagine him at the original name I had second thoughts on.
I think he loves his name more than life itself...quite funny really..I think he just loves that X in his name
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:30 AM
This exact thing happened to me when I named my boy/girl twins almost 5 years ago.
I chose a traditional name for my DS and a very unusual name from a completely different culture for my DD.
3 months in and I was regretting my DD's name big time. I was wishing that I have chosen a traditional name that started with the same letter as my DS and just went better with his name.
I agonised over it and put myself through way too much stress for a very long time.
I didn't end up changing her name, I felt embarrassed to do it and I had so many personalised gifts that had her name on them. I basically just didn't have the guts to change it.
This bothered me for quite some time but now I love her name. She has grown into it and they are individuals.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't change it but I wanted to let you know that in time it will probably grow on you and become her.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:31 AM
Change it. We changed our youngest DDs name when she was three months old. It took the kids about a day to get used to it. Everyone else was fine with it too.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:07 AM
Change it. You're only three months in. And if you want, you can keep her 'original' name as her new middle name, should she ever want to revert to it.
I think you will be much happier if you do
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:11 AM
I'd change it. Your 5yo is old enough to understand that you feel the other name was a better suit and in a year or so she'll probaby have forgotten her sister had a different name for a few short months.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:37 AM
I think if you don't like it you should change it, however before you do so look into any legal problems you child might have later in life. I know a lot of govt. form ask about any name changes and it can get sticky.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:45 AM
The name I wish we had called her is rather uncommon like our DD1 and fits much better with her name (they both start with the same letter and even have the same meaning and sound so much better together).
Repeating initials I can deal with OR repeating meaning but both? I'd never do that.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:10 AM
It's all very well to tell the OP to change it, but she said her DH didn't agree.
You need to talk more about it with DH until you can both agree on something. Maybe he'll convince you or maybe you'll convince him.
I wouldn't worry about what everyone else might think, though. It will be the talk of your friends for a month and then they'll forget and it will be a non-issue.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:33 AM
I would change it.
I know a couple who changed their DD's name at around 12 months. They ended up hating the first name as it was a top 10 girls name and found that everywhere they went there would be at least one or more girl with the same name. It was no issue for anyone else not that you should worry what others think anyway. Their older 2 boys were 4 and 6 at the time and they easily got use to the new name.
Edited by blue4me, 05 December 2012 - 09:34 AM.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:58 PM
I wouldnt its just a name...there will be lots of other things to stress about -
I think its just takes a while to settle the baby into a name.
Call it baby for a while...
I never liked my babies name...but now i cldnt care less...I wish thats all I had to worry about.
Have another one and call it the name your thinking...
I think you will wish you had of kept it ifyou change it...
my mother used to go on to me about what she wanted to call me...and i used to think yes that wld of been nice but that other name is sooooo not me....funny looking back.
I think things are the way they are for a reason so accept it and enjoy that bundle of joy.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:56 PM
Agree with PP about OP DH not wanting to change name - it would take both parents to be able to change a child's name.
OP- care to share what the names are at all please? We might have a better understanding of where you are coming from?
Definitely think about what it was that made you name your DD2 that name in the first place - this might help you become at peace with it?
Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:07 PM
She has already said her DH doesn't want to change it. So it is not as simple as change it.
Personally I would stick with the name I chose and learn to love it.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 03:51 PM
I can't imagine calling my child something I didn't love every day... so I'd change it, 3 months...gosh when your bub is 1 you won't remember what happened at 3 months lol, do what make you happy.
Unless of course it is too similar to DD1.....
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:43 PM
I'm going against the majority here, but please DON'T change the name.... She will forever more need to write her original name on forms as her previous name so it's not like it will be a secret. Think about how often you have to write your maiden name (not sure if that applies to you??) and she will have to d the same. when you enrol her for school you will need to explain both names and no doubt she will wnder why.
But as pointed out, your husband doesn't want to change it.
I think you are just over thinking it. It sounds like you love your daughter very much and are over analysing her name! Be content with the name you chose and soon it will seem silly that you contemplated her with another name.
Hope you get some peace soon.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 06:43 PM
You're losing sleep over a name? One that is apparently a perfectly fine name with no negative connotations other than it doesn't match your DD1's name?
I have never understood these kinds of posts.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:07 PM
Change it, but only if you and your DH mutually agree to do so. Otherwise, give her a nickname.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards
Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?
A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.
An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.
It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.
Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.
At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.
These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.
Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.
In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.
A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.
So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.
We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.
Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.
Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.
After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.
Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown.
Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.
If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.
I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.
Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.
Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.
Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study
She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.
An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.
Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?
Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.
Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?
The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.
I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.
Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.
to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards
I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.
I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.
French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.
A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.
Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?
First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.
The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.
A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life.
Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.
Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!
If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.
Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.
When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.
The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.
Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.
Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.
Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old
The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.
I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.
Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.
Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!