Jump to content
Hypothethical WWYD for teenaged son
35 replies to this topic
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:25 PM
Let's, hypothetically speaking, suggest that a small gaggle of school friends knocked on the door at 9:30pm and asked if your 16 year old son could accompany them to one of their homes for the night. Said home is, hypothetically speaking, approximately 6 minutes walk from your house.
School's finished for the year.
Would you let him go?
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:30 PM
Yeah I would. My friends and I congregated at each others houses on a several times a week basis from 14 to early 20's. School's over, 9.30pm isn't that late and they are just up the road. Do you trust your 16 year old?
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:31 PM
Absolutely not. Its 9:30pm. If this was planned then against my better judge yes i would let the go but on a whim.... no way!!
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:34 PM
If I trusted him and his friends, Yes I would, but I'd be having a word with them on coming to the house next time at a more appropriate time.
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:34 PM
I did let him go, I know the kids and am on passing/waving/sharingmumtaxi duties with the parents of the house he's going to.
I just had this niggle in my mind that maybe that was a bit too spontaneous and what were his friends doing out roaming the streets etc. But they all live within walking distance of each other so, and I have most of their mobile numbers saved, lol!
I just wasn't expecting it at this time of night!
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:47 PM
as a parent of a few teens, I would worry that it was a planned 'spontaneous' incident...But not from my teens, from how I was as a teen....
But I would prob still have let my teen go as I know all his friends parents etc
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:48 PM
He just left! I'm in WA.
It's a sleepover. I told him that was the only way he was allowed, because I wasn't having him walk home even later than this on his own.
They all do group sleepovers all the time at each others' homes, including mine.
Please send cleaner.
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:49 PM
No, probably not.
But my judgement is probably clouded by what I got upto at 16 and the porkies I told my parents.
Many nights spent wandering the streets when they thought I was at friends houses!
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:49 PM
I would let him go.
I spent a lot of my teenage years in front of a computer, talking to my boyfriend who was prepping me for a life time of control and domestic violence, so I want my children to go out and be with friends and make memories.
ETA: That the said boyfriend is not my husband. We parted ways many years ago
Edited by DH+Me+2, 04 December 2012 - 11:50 PM.
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:53 PM
DH+me+2 - I'm so sorry you went through that.
EssentialBludger - ah yes, but the friend's house they're off to has a pool, lol, with this heat, that's why they're all going there!
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:56 PM
I would probably have driven them back if I could.
I don't even like my DP walking home from the train station late at night and he's a big man.
My friends and I (4 of us) were mugged at knife point one of the nights we walked home from a friends house.
Maybe I'm paranoid though.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:02 AM
Thanks LeChatNinjah, I'm just glad I go out before I got pregnant or married him.
Hope your son has a fantastic night
Posted 05 December 2012 - 04:40 AM
I would. what are the school holidays for if not staying up late and hanging out with mates? as long as you know/trust the people he's with I think it's fine.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:35 AM
I would probably ring the parent to double check that they didnt want me to send anything - food / movies etc down. That way I'm also checking that the parent knows that they are having the sleepover and its not a porkie.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:25 AM
I'd be annoyed if anyone knocked on my door at 9:30 I think it is rude. I'm in bed by 10. I think they could have called first.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:32 AM
Hope they had a fun night LeChatNinjah!
I imagine the pool owning parents are going to get a lot of that this summer!
If that happened here (hypothetical teenager obviously) I would be forced to put them all up for the night I reckon!
Poor little buggers would have been exhausted climbing the hill and walking the 6km or so to get to the house!
We have no pool but I'd let them sit under the sprinkler in an old tin bath? And pick raspberries by moonlight?
Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:37 AM
I'm glad you let him go. I think they (youngish adults) have to be given these opportunities so they can earn your trust. If it went pear shaped then the answer is no next time.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:58 AM
I should probably confess that this isn't, strictly speaking, genuinely hypothetical, lol!
Orangedrop - if I were an early-to-bed person that would have annoyed me as well, but I am a complete night owl, as are my kids.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:24 AM
It wouldn't have bothered me and I would have let him go. Go, have fun!
BUT, knowing what I got up to at that age, I would do two things:
1. Call the parents to confirm (although I used to do a great impression of my Mum when my friend's parents called, fooled them every time!)
2. Tell him he needs to be home by 9 or 10 am the next morning because we're going to visit grandma/going for a bike ride/spending the day gardening. This way, if he has half a brain, he won't stay up ALL night drinking/getting high otherwise he'll get busted.
My parents gave me a lot (too much?) freedom, but they always maintained a good relationship with me and hence I always wanted to stay on good terms with them, which meant coming home when they said. It didn't stop me doing everything, but it did contain it because I knew I had to be reasonable the next day. If that makes sense!
Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:38 AM
Yes - I wouldn't be thrilled about doorknockers at that hour, and would try to discourage the kids from just turning up in future without calling earlier in the day, but I would let my son go and enjoy himself. I think 16 is old enough to have a certain level of autonomy.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:06 AM
I honestly have no idea.
Different factors would determine how I feel about it.
Maturity of teenager.
How I feel about supervising parents.
How I feel about the kids themselves.
If anything was planned for next day
Past behavior of teen.
Guest_- Poppy -_*
Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:20 AM
I would but he would have a curfew.
My parents were very strict on me so I just snuck out.
Its better that they are open about it and tell you where they are instead of doing it behind your back and you have no idea where they are or who they are with etc.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
Some phrases just pop out before you really think about them, but there are some things you should try to not say to a new mum.
The phone calls started a couple of weeks ago. At about 5.30 each evening - if I am lucky - I will be greeted by a sweet, excited voice declaring: "'Allo Annie".
You sometimes have to wonder whether relationship/sex advice from magazines is designed to help or humiliate.
People used to think that social skills were something kids were born with, not taught.
Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.
Scientists have calculated at exactly what age you need to start trying to get pregnant to have the best chance of realising your dream.
Differently abled child
Why are people so concerned for this happy child and his mother?
When it comes to two-year-olds and birthday cakes there are a few requests that are usually at the top of the list. But a cake featuring a local personal injury lawyer?
When we become mums, our instinct to protect our children and keep them safe from harm is so strong we're often likened to a Mama Bear protecting her cubs.
There are no guaranteed ways to avoid the dreaded winter illnesses completely, but there are ways we can boost our children's immunity.
Jade Beall usually chooses to breastfeed her son, now 3, in private. This week, however, she shared portraits of her breastfeeding her preschooler.
Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?
A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.
An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.
It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.
Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.
At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.
These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.
Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.
In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.
A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.
So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.
We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.
Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.
Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.
Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.
Top 5 Articles
After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.
Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown.
Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.
Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?
I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.
The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.
Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.
If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.
Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study
She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.
Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?
An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.
Where does hanger come from? And why is it that only some people seem to get hangry?
It's a heartbreaking video that anyone who has ever considered not vaccinating against whooping cough must see.
An Australian couple could face a medical expenses of more than $1 million after their baby boy was born three months prematurely while they were holidaying in Hawaii.
Don't be surprised if your morning brew does more than wake you up. There's more to this magical elixir than you might think.
Days out from Prince George's second birthday, his parents' tendency to dress him in classical style clothing has been revealed as a cunning ploy.
An incredible birth video shows a mother delivering her own baby as her husband drives along a freeway in a vain attempt to reach hospital.
Many women happily breastfeed well into pregnancy while others wean sooner; yet others continue to breastfeed both infants together. This is a personal choice.
One minute they're contentedly snuggled in the sanctuary of their mum's tummy, and the next they arrive into an overwhelming reality of lights, cameras and action.
A new gadget uses a tiny microscope and the camera on an iPad to calculate sperm count and motility.
I cried when a specialist told me at exactly 28 weeks that our twin boys would have to be born within 48 hours.
Julia Watson, a mum of four young girls, was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in December 2013. She shares her latest blog piece with Essential Baby.
Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!