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Hypothethical WWYD for teenaged son

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#1 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:25 PM

Let's, hypothetically speaking, suggest that a small gaggle of school friends knocked on the door at 9:30pm and asked if your 16 year old son could accompany them to one of their homes for the night.  Said home is, hypothetically speaking, approximately 6 minutes walk from your house.

School's finished for the year.

Would you let him go?

#2 marnie27

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:30 PM

Yeah I would. My friends and I congregated at each others houses on a several times a week basis from 14 to early 20's. School's over, 9.30pm isn't that late and they are just up the road. Do you trust your 16 year old?

#3 Mumma_G

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:31 PM

Absolutely not. Its 9:30pm. If this was planned then against my better judge yes i would let the go but on a whim.... no way!!

#4 noonehere

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:32 PM

Yes if i knew the parents and teens.

#5 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:34 PM

If I trusted him and his friends, Yes I would, but I'd be having a word with them on coming to the house next time at a more appropriate time.

#6 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:34 PM

I did let him go, I know the kids and am on passing/waving/sharingmumtaxi duties with the parents of the house he's going to.

I just had this niggle in my mind that maybe that was a bit too spontaneous and what were his friends doing out roaming the streets etc.  But they all live within walking distance of each other so, and I have most of their mobile numbers saved, lol!

I just wasn't expecting it at this time of night!

#7 rainycat

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:46 PM

I would have let him go.

What time did he get home?

#8 Lim Lam

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:47 PM

as a parent of a few teens, I would worry that it was a planned 'spontaneous' incident...But not from my teens, from how I was as a teen....

But I would prob still have let my teen go as I know all his friends parents etc

#9 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:48 PM

He just left!  I'm in WA.

It's a sleepover.  I told him that was the only way he was allowed, because I wasn't having him walk home even later than this on his own.

They all do group sleepovers all the time at each others' homes, including mine.

Please send cleaner.


#10 EssentialBludger

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:49 PM

No, probably not.

But my judgement is probably clouded by what I got upto at 16 and the porkies I told my parents.

Many nights spent wandering the streets when they thought I was at friends houses! ph34r.gif

#11 FeralSingleMum

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:49 PM

I would let him go.

I spent a lot of my teenage years in front of a computer, talking to my boyfriend who was prepping me for a life time of control and domestic violence, so I want my children to go out and be with friends and make memories.

ETA: That the said boyfriend is not my husband. We parted ways many years ago

Edited by DH+Me+2, 04 December 2012 - 11:50 PM.

#12 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:53 PM

DH+me+2 - I'm so sorry you went through that.

EssentialBludger - ah yes, but the friend's house they're off to has a pool, lol, with this heat, that's why they're all going there!

#13 EssentialBludger

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:56 PM

I would probably have driven them back if I could.

I don't even like my DP walking home from the train station late at night and he's a big man. Tounge1.gif

My friends and I (4 of us) were mugged at knife point one of the nights we walked home from a friends house.

Maybe I'm paranoid though.

#14 FeralSingleMum

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:02 AM

Thanks LeChatNinjah, I'm just glad I go out before I got pregnant or married him.

Hope your son has a fantastic night biggrin.gif

#15 starsg

Posted 05 December 2012 - 04:40 AM

I would. what are the school holidays for if not staying up late and hanging out with mates? as long as you know/trust the people he's with I think it's fine.

#16 JustBeige

Posted 05 December 2012 - 07:35 AM

I would probably ring the parent to double check that they didnt want me to send anything - food / movies etc down.   That way I'm also checking that the parent knows that they are having the sleepover and its not a porkie.

#17 Orangedrops

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:25 AM

I'd be annoyed if anyone knocked on my door at 9:30 I think it is rude. I'm in bed by 10. I think they could have called first.

#18 HRH Countrymel

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:32 AM

Hope they had a fun night LeChatNinjah!

I imagine the pool owning parents are going to get a lot of that this summer!

If that happened here (hypothetical teenager obviously) I would be forced to put them all up for the night I reckon!

Poor little buggers would have been exhausted climbing the hill and walking the 6km or so to get to the house!

We have no pool but I'd let them sit under the sprinkler in an old tin bath?  And pick raspberries by moonlight?

#19 andyk

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:37 AM

I'm glad you let him go. I think they (youngish adults) have to be given these opportunities so they can earn your trust. If it went pear shaped then the answer is no next time.

#20 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:58 AM

I should probably confess that this isn't, strictly speaking, genuinely hypothetical, lol!

Orangedrop - if I were an early-to-bed person that would have annoyed me as well, but I am a complete night owl, as are my kids.

#21 Tesseract

Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:24 AM

It wouldn't have bothered me and I would have let him go. Go, have fun!

BUT, knowing what I got up to at that age, I would do two things:
1. Call the parents to confirm (although I used to do a great impression of my Mum when my friend's parents called, fooled them every time!)
2. Tell him he needs to be home by 9 or 10 am the next morning because we're going to visit grandma/going for a bike ride/spending the day gardening. This way, if he has half a brain, he won't stay up ALL night drinking/getting high otherwise he'll get busted.

My parents gave me a lot (too much?) freedom, but they always maintained a good relationship with me and hence I always wanted to stay on good terms with them, which meant coming home when they said. It didn't stop me doing everything, but it did contain it because I knew I had to be reasonable the next day. If that makes sense!

#22 Abcde-La-A

Posted 05 December 2012 - 10:38 AM

Yes - I wouldn't be thrilled about doorknockers at that hour, and would try to discourage the kids from just turning up in future without calling earlier in the day, but I would let my son go and enjoy himself. I think 16 is old enough to have a certain level of autonomy.

#23 Oriental lily

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:06 AM

I honestly have no idea.

Different factors would determine how I feel about it.

Maturity of teenager.
How I feel about supervising parents.
How I feel about the kids themselves.
If anything was planned for next day
Past behavior of teen.

#24 steppy

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:15 AM

Yes but I'd speak to the parents.

#25 Guest_- Poppy -_*

Posted 05 December 2012 - 11:20 AM

I would but he would have a curfew.

My parents were very strict on me so I just snuck out.

Its better that they are open about it and tell you where they are instead of doing it behind your back and you have no idea where they are or who they are with etc.

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