Jump to content

Dear Kate
a letter from a fellow HG sufferer


  • Please log in to reply
102 replies to this topic

#1 prue~c

Posted 04 December 2012 - 06:29 PM

Dear Kate,

I can call you Kate, can't I? I know you are the future Queen, but I feel weird calling someone younger than me “Your Highness”. I'm a republican, and while I love the Monarchy (for England) – especially the jewels, ill gotten they may be - I wouldn't curtsey to you either.

I want to congratulate you on your pregnancy! Brilliant news, but at the same time, I offer my commiserations. While I am sure you are beyond thrilled to be in the family way, I bet you don't  feel like celebrating at the moment. Chucking your guts at the slightest smell of food, being unable to tolerate even water, and crippling headaches aren't what the joy of pregnancy is meant to be about. I know how you feel, Kate, because I had hyperemesis gravidium (HG) too.

Most women expect a bit of “morning sickness” in the first trimester. Some nausea, a bit of dizziness, the odd vomit. For me, the vomit was non stop and the dizziness segued into headaches, periods of partial blindness and facial palsy. Work days were excruciating, with episodes spent laying on the bathroom floor – my cheek against the tiles in a bid to cool the rivulets of sweat pouring down my face – or under my work desk which was conveniently out of sight of most of the office.

Of course I got to do it without the lens of the world trained on me, but that said, vomiting in public is embarrassing, whether you are the future Queen or a pleb like me.

I used to do the work commute via ferry, which is usually the most pleasant way to get to the Sydney CBD. But just a few weeks into my pregnancy, the ferry became an unviable option after I spent a trip losing what little breakfast (a glass of water) I had been able to choke down over the side. This was to the dismay of the other, mostly male and of the financial industry variety, passengers. Poor blokes didn't know where to look. Was I drunk? Hungover? “I'm pregnant,” gasped between vomits, didn't garner much sympathy.  Driving almost always involved pulling over for a discreet vom either on the side of the road or in one of the plastic bags I began to keep in my handbag for that exact moment. I also knew all the places on my route to work (because I hardly ever left the house otherwise) where I could have a comparatively private, public vomit.

Kate I am so sorry to tell you, that hospital visits didn't help me. The intravenous rehydration is good for bypassing the stomach and getting fluids in, but the drugs never did much. I could never keep down the tablets and the iv meds didn't help either. Is Wills squeamish? I hope not, because he will probably need to learn how to to give you a jab in the Royal backside. My husband became a dab hand at drawing up and giving me the dart, but if Wills can't do it, I guess you have “people” to do it for you. Ladies in waiting or something.

I know you are a bit of a fashion plate, and I bet you were looking forward to parading about in all of the fabulous maternity fashion you will no doubt have at your disposal. Sucks when you can't even summon the energy to get out of your pyjamas, and that gorgeous silk kaftan didn't even see the light of day because you didn't make it to the loo, or sink, or nearest vomit receptacle (because you will start secreting them around the house – I mean palace – in convenient spots) on time. I hope the dreaded curse doesn't last the full 40 weeks, because I would love to see how you rock maternity wear. I remember Princess Di and her chocolate shop pussy bows and striped dresses, and I just know the trash mags will do a comparison photo spread of what I assume will be your chic maternity wardrobe. If you can get out of the aforementioned Pjs, that is.

People will tell you that once you are holding that baby, or babies - in my case HG as an indicator of twins was true – you will forget all about it. I wish so much that this was the case, but for me, the single thing holding me back from trying for another child (and considering I needed IVF to conceive my twins, another pregnancy is not a given) is the thought of being that sick again, and not being able to care for my twins. I just couldn't do it – not without full time help, which I assume you will have. And the pressure will be on for that second pregnancy, because, after all, you have to provide the heir, and the spare.

My advice, for what it's worth? Bugger the stiff upper royal lip, the paparazzi and the trash mags. You don't need to swan around in posh maternity gear looking the picture of glowing prospective motherhood. Embrace the all-day pyjama, repurpose your mixing bowls as vomit holders and always, carry a supply of plastic bags. Zip-locs are the best.


Love, Prue xox.

Edited by EBeditor, 05 December 2012 - 01:09 PM.


#2 Rubixx

Posted 04 December 2012 - 06:51 PM

My friend's husband got her a box of vomit bags when she went through this. Highly recommended.

http://www.medicalsolution.com.au/products...iew.php?id=1164

#3 lynneyours

Posted 04 December 2012 - 06:59 PM

I had my 2 in the UK.  I had HG with DD1 and with DD2 til about 27 weeks.  I had never heard of Zofran until I came to Australia, so I am not sure it's licenced there.  sad.gif

I weighed less the day I went into labour than I did when I got pregnant, both times - It's not like Kate can afford to lose any weight.  Nothing helped for me.  Except giving birth.

She has my commiserations, I cannot imagine trying to deal with HG in the public eye.

#4 EBeditor

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:01 PM

I say we let her dress like Vicki Pollard and vomit on Daily Mail paparazzi.

#5 Rubixx

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:05 PM

QUOTE (lynnemine @ 04/12/2012, 07:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's not like Kate can afford to lose any weight.  Nothing helped for me.  Except giving birth.


I agree. My friend gained an extra 10kgs as she knew she would go through the same thing again for her next pregnancy and has since done better than the first pregnancy.

During her first pregnancy, the doctors suggested that she was in the same category as bulimics as she lost so much weight!!

#6 lynneyours

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:22 PM

QUOTE (Rubixx @ 04/12/2012, 08:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the doctors suggested that she was in the same category as bulimics as she lost so much weight!!


Yes, and it wrecks your teeth too. I had good teeth until HG.  It stripped some enamel off and now I do not have good teeth. sad.gif

ETA: My dentist recently asked me delicately if I had ever been bulimic, as my teeth were showing signs consistent with prolonged, long-term, regular vomiting.   rolleyes.gif  I had to tell her what HG was.

Edited by lynnemine, 04 December 2012 - 07:23 PM.


#7 prue~c

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:40 PM

OMG my teeth! Lynnemine my teeth are also terrible now too. I can feel and see the damage the constant vomiting did. I thiknk I am going to have to get veneers. When I eventually get to visit the dentist, that is!

Zofran is available here, but it is very expensive, and TBH, it did bugger all for me.

I lost around 20kg when I was pregnant. I could lose it, because I was verging on overweight when I conceived, but after I had my boys I was so thin! I am sad to say it has all come back sad.gif

Kate really doesn't have the padding to spare.


Edited by prue~c, 04 December 2012 - 07:41 PM.


#8 *Lib*

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:44 PM

I was listening to people on the radio talking about her being hospitalised for MS.....umm people, its WAY more than regular morning sickness.

#9 RumbleBee

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:47 PM

Such a great letter.

I actually live in London, will try and slip it under her door...

#10 Feral_Pooks

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:52 PM

Yep my teeth are cactus too.

Oh such a great letter.

It is amazing to see people actually have interest in what HG is... I was looked at like I was being a sook a lot of the time...

#11 Jenferal

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:57 PM

My hairdresser had it with her first baby(and probably the other 2 as well) and I can't imagine how bad it was for her, especially working in a salon with the smell of chemicals and unwashed hair etc.
I don't know how you'd go back for more after one pregnancy with it, frankly!

#12 Moukmouk

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:58 PM

Ohhh, I feel for her. My finest moment was vomitting in a grabage bin in the middle of a westfield. I had vomit bags in every pocket, and only survived on zofran wafers. Itnwas bad enough trying to work a normal job. I can only imagine how horrible it wuld be to have millions of people watching you.

#13 Chelli

Posted 04 December 2012 - 08:05 PM

I feel very sorry for her after seeing my sister struggle with hg sad.gif

#14 bakesgirls

Posted 04 December 2012 - 08:08 PM

HG is not something I would ever wish on anyone. I had it with DD3. It was my only pregnancy that I seriously considered termination. I just wanted to curl up and die. I also lost 21kg, so ended up weighing much less during and post birth, than I was before I fell pregnant.

I feel terribly sorry for her. It's an awful thing to have to endure.

#15 Floral Arrangement

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:47 AM

The only thing that stopped my hg was giving birth. I was laughing all the way home from hospital because I felt so good. I had varying degrees which each of my 3 pregnancies. I put on very little weight with the first 2 and no 3 I weighed less at full term than pre pregnancy. I ate every bit of hospital food because I had barely eaten for 9 months. I lived on fruit,  orange juice and pregnancy vitamins.

#16 Rubyroo

Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:07 AM

Yes to the teeth.  Mine are so thin that I've chipped the edges off a couple of times.  I've also had a dentist ask if I was bulimic.  (He didn't believe me when I said I wasn't - I haven't been back to him).



#17 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:51 PM

Since they closed my thread pronto:

I'm sorry but surely I'm not alone in finding this "letter" puke worthy - pardon the pun.
Author seems to jump between sympathy for herself and derision for Kate. The whole condescending tone is enough to give me morning sickness and I'm not pregnant. Maybe EB could come up with something useful; maybe some studies done on hyperemesis or some useful information on how much sickness is normal and how to deal with the affects of acute sickness rather than some hum drum by someone did it so much harder than pampered Kate and will never curtsey to her anyway.

Edited by ForsakenTruth, 05 December 2012 - 01:09 PM.


#18 EBeditor

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:53 PM

ForsakesnTruth, as we said in the other thread we have an information article about HG which we linked from the full version of Prue's blog:
It's here:
http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/pregnancy/...0813-244c8.html

#19 casime

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:54 PM

What a horrible "letter".   You're not better than her, and your comments were really very cruel.   If you hate royalty so much, why did you even bother commenting on her pregancy?  

What's wrong with "Nice news for the couple, hope she feels better soon?"

#20 Hayleymumof3

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:56 PM

I didn't like this article at all.

There was no need to be so nasty.  It's not Kate's fault the media has an obsession with giving the public every single detail of her life all she did was marry the man she loved.

Calling her a fashion plate just reeks of jealousy to me.  Kate is a stylish dressed woman but I am sure in her own home she can PJ or trakky it up with the best of us.

I feel for Kate what should have been kept private between her family and his family has made world wide news.



#21 EBeditor

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:58 PM

I published this as I thought it was humourous but compassionate - if I had thought it was cruel we would not have run the story. I can assure you Prue does feel for Kate and that's why she was compelled to write in the first place, commiserating over what an awful condition it is to have.

#22 hollysmama

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:59 PM

I'm confused about the message of your letter. Are you saying 'oh you poor thing, I really feel for you as I have been there too' or are you saying 'harden the f*@# up princess, you have slaves at your beck and call to help you.  I, being a mere commoner, did not'.

It lacks purpose and entertainment value in IMO. Could have been better thought out.


#23 Froger

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:59 PM

The article was stupid. That's my only complaint. Otherwise I'm always up for a bit of deriding of these pampered, overly privileged, scrounging bludgers.


#24 casime

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:59 PM

No, it's just another blog by an author who likes to point out how much more difficult her life is than anyone else's.   Quite tiring really.

#25 EBeditor

Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:01 PM

That is definitely not what I got out of it casime.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Teaching our son to say no to violence against women

Today, on White Ribbon Day - and every other day - we're teaching our son to say no to violence against women.

Mothers told to breastfeed in 'spacious' toilet

If there is one thing the owners of Tillings Cafe can be certain of, it is that the eatery won't win the award for Britain's best baby-friendly coffee shop any time soon.

Mother gives name to son dumped down drain

A woman who admitted to dumping her newborn baby down a Sydney drain has reportedly been allowed to give him a name.

Taking small steps to reduce stress

Are you feeling used up by life's stress, family problems and a demanding job you can't turn off? Many people are way beyond work-life exhaustion. They are functioning as robots.

Bad news: we're running out of chocolate

The world's biggest chocolate-maker says we're running out of chocolate.

Born at 23 weeks, 'Chopstick Baby' survives first week

A baby who was born at 23 weeks has survived her first week of life outside the womb.

Manic stations: the nesting instinct in pregnancy

It might sound like temporary insanity, but almost obsessive nesting as you near your due date isn’t uncommon – even if you’re not usually a particularly clean person.

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

Love has nothing to do with mental illness. But love may drive a mother to do something about it.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong'

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

Two children who were given to the wrong families at birth will soon learn if they will be returned to their biological parents.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.