Jump to content

Dear Kate
a letter from a fellow HG sufferer


  • Please log in to reply
102 replies to this topic

#1 prue~c

Posted 04 December 2012 - 06:29 PM

Dear Kate,

I can call you Kate, can't I? I know you are the future Queen, but I feel weird calling someone younger than me “Your Highness”. I'm a republican, and while I love the Monarchy (for England) – especially the jewels, ill gotten they may be - I wouldn't curtsey to you either.

I want to congratulate you on your pregnancy! Brilliant news, but at the same time, I offer my commiserations. While I am sure you are beyond thrilled to be in the family way, I bet you don't  feel like celebrating at the moment. Chucking your guts at the slightest smell of food, being unable to tolerate even water, and crippling headaches aren't what the joy of pregnancy is meant to be about. I know how you feel, Kate, because I had hyperemesis gravidium (HG) too.

Most women expect a bit of “morning sickness” in the first trimester. Some nausea, a bit of dizziness, the odd vomit. For me, the vomit was non stop and the dizziness segued into headaches, periods of partial blindness and facial palsy. Work days were excruciating, with episodes spent laying on the bathroom floor – my cheek against the tiles in a bid to cool the rivulets of sweat pouring down my face – or under my work desk which was conveniently out of sight of most of the office.

Of course I got to do it without the lens of the world trained on me, but that said, vomiting in public is embarrassing, whether you are the future Queen or a pleb like me.

I used to do the work commute via ferry, which is usually the most pleasant way to get to the Sydney CBD. But just a few weeks into my pregnancy, the ferry became an unviable option after I spent a trip losing what little breakfast (a glass of water) I had been able to choke down over the side. This was to the dismay of the other, mostly male and of the financial industry variety, passengers. Poor blokes didn't know where to look. Was I drunk? Hungover? “I'm pregnant,” gasped between vomits, didn't garner much sympathy.  Driving almost always involved pulling over for a discreet vom either on the side of the road or in one of the plastic bags I began to keep in my handbag for that exact moment. I also knew all the places on my route to work (because I hardly ever left the house otherwise) where I could have a comparatively private, public vomit.

Kate I am so sorry to tell you, that hospital visits didn't help me. The intravenous rehydration is good for bypassing the stomach and getting fluids in, but the drugs never did much. I could never keep down the tablets and the iv meds didn't help either. Is Wills squeamish? I hope not, because he will probably need to learn how to to give you a jab in the Royal backside. My husband became a dab hand at drawing up and giving me the dart, but if Wills can't do it, I guess you have “people” to do it for you. Ladies in waiting or something.

I know you are a bit of a fashion plate, and I bet you were looking forward to parading about in all of the fabulous maternity fashion you will no doubt have at your disposal. Sucks when you can't even summon the energy to get out of your pyjamas, and that gorgeous silk kaftan didn't even see the light of day because you didn't make it to the loo, or sink, or nearest vomit receptacle (because you will start secreting them around the house – I mean palace – in convenient spots) on time. I hope the dreaded curse doesn't last the full 40 weeks, because I would love to see how you rock maternity wear. I remember Princess Di and her chocolate shop pussy bows and striped dresses, and I just know the trash mags will do a comparison photo spread of what I assume will be your chic maternity wardrobe. If you can get out of the aforementioned Pjs, that is.

People will tell you that once you are holding that baby, or babies - in my case HG as an indicator of twins was true – you will forget all about it. I wish so much that this was the case, but for me, the single thing holding me back from trying for another child (and considering I needed IVF to conceive my twins, another pregnancy is not a given) is the thought of being that sick again, and not being able to care for my twins. I just couldn't do it – not without full time help, which I assume you will have. And the pressure will be on for that second pregnancy, because, after all, you have to provide the heir, and the spare.

My advice, for what it's worth? Bugger the stiff upper royal lip, the paparazzi and the trash mags. You don't need to swan around in posh maternity gear looking the picture of glowing prospective motherhood. Embrace the all-day pyjama, repurpose your mixing bowls as vomit holders and always, carry a supply of plastic bags. Zip-locs are the best.


Love, Prue xox.

Edited by EBeditor, 05 December 2012 - 01:09 PM.


#2 Rubixx

Posted 04 December 2012 - 06:51 PM

My friend's husband got her a box of vomit bags when she went through this. Highly recommended.

http://www.medicalsolution.com.au/products...iew.php?id=1164

#3 lynneyours

Posted 04 December 2012 - 06:59 PM

I had my 2 in the UK.  I had HG with DD1 and with DD2 til about 27 weeks.  I had never heard of Zofran until I came to Australia, so I am not sure it's licenced there.  sad.gif

I weighed less the day I went into labour than I did when I got pregnant, both times - It's not like Kate can afford to lose any weight.  Nothing helped for me.  Except giving birth.

She has my commiserations, I cannot imagine trying to deal with HG in the public eye.

#4 EBeditor

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:01 PM

I say we let her dress like Vicki Pollard and vomit on Daily Mail paparazzi.

#5 Rubixx

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:05 PM

QUOTE (lynnemine @ 04/12/2012, 07:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's not like Kate can afford to lose any weight.  Nothing helped for me.  Except giving birth.


I agree. My friend gained an extra 10kgs as she knew she would go through the same thing again for her next pregnancy and has since done better than the first pregnancy.

During her first pregnancy, the doctors suggested that she was in the same category as bulimics as she lost so much weight!!

#6 lynneyours

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:22 PM

QUOTE (Rubixx @ 04/12/2012, 08:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the doctors suggested that she was in the same category as bulimics as she lost so much weight!!


Yes, and it wrecks your teeth too. I had good teeth until HG.  It stripped some enamel off and now I do not have good teeth. sad.gif

ETA: My dentist recently asked me delicately if I had ever been bulimic, as my teeth were showing signs consistent with prolonged, long-term, regular vomiting.   rolleyes.gif  I had to tell her what HG was.

Edited by lynnemine, 04 December 2012 - 07:23 PM.


#7 prue~c

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:40 PM

OMG my teeth! Lynnemine my teeth are also terrible now too. I can feel and see the damage the constant vomiting did. I thiknk I am going to have to get veneers. When I eventually get to visit the dentist, that is!

Zofran is available here, but it is very expensive, and TBH, it did bugger all for me.

I lost around 20kg when I was pregnant. I could lose it, because I was verging on overweight when I conceived, but after I had my boys I was so thin! I am sad to say it has all come back sad.gif

Kate really doesn't have the padding to spare.


Edited by prue~c, 04 December 2012 - 07:41 PM.


#8 *Lib*

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:44 PM

I was listening to people on the radio talking about her being hospitalised for MS.....umm people, its WAY more than regular morning sickness.

#9 RumbleBee

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:47 PM

Such a great letter.

I actually live in London, will try and slip it under her door...

#10 Feral_Pooks

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:52 PM

Yep my teeth are cactus too.

Oh such a great letter.

It is amazing to see people actually have interest in what HG is... I was looked at like I was being a sook a lot of the time...

#11 Marchioness Flea

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:57 PM

My hairdresser had it with her first baby(and probably the other 2 as well) and I can't imagine how bad it was for her, especially working in a salon with the smell of chemicals and unwashed hair etc.
I don't know how you'd go back for more after one pregnancy with it, frankly!

#12 Moukmouk

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:58 PM

Ohhh, I feel for her. My finest moment was vomitting in a grabage bin in the middle of a westfield. I had vomit bags in every pocket, and only survived on zofran wafers. Itnwas bad enough trying to work a normal job. I can only imagine how horrible it wuld be to have millions of people watching you.

#13 Chelli

Posted 04 December 2012 - 08:05 PM

I feel very sorry for her after seeing my sister struggle with hg sad.gif

#14 bakesgirls

Posted 04 December 2012 - 08:08 PM

HG is not something I would ever wish on anyone. I had it with DD3. It was my only pregnancy that I seriously considered termination. I just wanted to curl up and die. I also lost 21kg, so ended up weighing much less during and post birth, than I was before I fell pregnant.

I feel terribly sorry for her. It's an awful thing to have to endure.

#15 Floral Arrangement

Posted 05 December 2012 - 08:47 AM

The only thing that stopped my hg was giving birth. I was laughing all the way home from hospital because I felt so good. I had varying degrees which each of my 3 pregnancies. I put on very little weight with the first 2 and no 3 I weighed less at full term than pre pregnancy. I ate every bit of hospital food because I had barely eaten for 9 months. I lived on fruit,  orange juice and pregnancy vitamins.

#16 Rubyroo

Posted 05 December 2012 - 09:07 AM

Yes to the teeth.  Mine are so thin that I've chipped the edges off a couple of times.  I've also had a dentist ask if I was bulimic.  (He didn't believe me when I said I wasn't - I haven't been back to him).



#17 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:51 PM

Since they closed my thread pronto:

I'm sorry but surely I'm not alone in finding this "letter" puke worthy - pardon the pun.
Author seems to jump between sympathy for herself and derision for Kate. The whole condescending tone is enough to give me morning sickness and I'm not pregnant. Maybe EB could come up with something useful; maybe some studies done on hyperemesis or some useful information on how much sickness is normal and how to deal with the affects of acute sickness rather than some hum drum by someone did it so much harder than pampered Kate and will never curtsey to her anyway.

Edited by ForsakenTruth, 05 December 2012 - 01:09 PM.


#18 EBeditor

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:53 PM

ForsakesnTruth, as we said in the other thread we have an information article about HG which we linked from the full version of Prue's blog:
It's here:
http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/pregnancy/...0813-244c8.html

#19 casime

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:54 PM

What a horrible "letter".   You're not better than her, and your comments were really very cruel.   If you hate royalty so much, why did you even bother commenting on her pregancy?  

What's wrong with "Nice news for the couple, hope she feels better soon?"

#20 Hayleymumof3

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:56 PM

I didn't like this article at all.

There was no need to be so nasty.  It's not Kate's fault the media has an obsession with giving the public every single detail of her life all she did was marry the man she loved.

Calling her a fashion plate just reeks of jealousy to me.  Kate is a stylish dressed woman but I am sure in her own home she can PJ or trakky it up with the best of us.

I feel for Kate what should have been kept private between her family and his family has made world wide news.



#21 EBeditor

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:58 PM

I published this as I thought it was humourous but compassionate - if I had thought it was cruel we would not have run the story. I can assure you Prue does feel for Kate and that's why she was compelled to write in the first place, commiserating over what an awful condition it is to have.

#22 hollysmama

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:59 PM

I'm confused about the message of your letter. Are you saying 'oh you poor thing, I really feel for you as I have been there too' or are you saying 'harden the f*@# up princess, you have slaves at your beck and call to help you.  I, being a mere commoner, did not'.

It lacks purpose and entertainment value in IMO. Could have been better thought out.


#23 Froger

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:59 PM

The article was stupid. That's my only complaint. Otherwise I'm always up for a bit of deriding of these pampered, overly privileged, scrounging bludgers.


#24 casime

Posted 05 December 2012 - 12:59 PM

No, it's just another blog by an author who likes to point out how much more difficult her life is than anyone else's.   Quite tiring really.

#25 EBeditor

Posted 05 December 2012 - 01:01 PM

That is definitely not what I got out of it casime.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Trying to understand why your baby is upset

Working out what?s underlying your baby's fussiness can be a case of trial and error. Here are a few common causes and how you can remedy each one.

When those you love judge your parenting

In today's society, never has it been harder to parent without judgment. But what about when judgment is coming from closer to home?

Don't play the victim blame game with family violence

It's not a woman's job to teach violent men how to behave.

11 truths about having two under two

When I told my mothers? group that my husband and I had started trying for our second baby they told me I was crazy. Now I can see why.

'How do you say goodbye to someone you've only just started to get to know?'

New mum Sarah Sutton was faced with a shattering scenario no person should have to endure.

It's a ... boy! Couple welcomes son number 13

"It's a boy!" That's the phrase Kateri Schwandt has heard in labour delivery ward for the 13th time in her life.

Six reasons to go for a walk

Can't find time to get to the gym? It could be just as beneficial to put your baby in the stroller and go for a walk.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

Toddler styling

Seven things my toddler taught me about my home

My standards at home were never that high but having a two-year-old has taught me to be cool with chaos.

Australia's top baby names of 2014

The numbers have been crunched and it's official: Australian parents are having a bit of an 'O' moment.

How to set up the perfect nursery for your baby

You'll soon be meeting your baby, but you've got one big task to get done first: setting up a comfy, calming nursery you'll both be able to enjoy.

Childcare rebate: tougher rules for stay-at-home mums

A new form of activity testing will be introduced to ensure the highest subsidies go to parents who contribute the most to the workforce.

The women who desperately need more support in pregnancy

For women suffering from chronic morning sickness or hyperemesis gravidarum, pregnancy can be the roller coaster from hell.

When labour doesn't happen and you're induced

I never actually went into labour - so by 42 weeks I was booked in for induction.

Mum's grief for triplets inspires change

The death of Sophie Smith's triplet baby boys has motivated the half-marathon mother and her team to raise $1.25 million for charity.

The best advice for treating head lice

Just like a horror movie ... THEY'RE BAAAAAACK. So what works in treating and avoiding head lice and nits?

Overdue and over it

A watched womb never labours ... or at least mine didn't.

Parenting an early walker

Watching your child take their first wobbly steps is one of the best parenting highs you'll ever experience. But with that high comes a new reality.

Baby-led weaning worked for us

My baby wasn't interested in food - until we tried something new. Now she's eating it all, and it often comes from my plate.

'Paralysed bride' becomes a mum

Rachelle Friedman Chapman was preparing to marry the man of her dreams when tragedy struck four years ago.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.