Jump to content

please tell me your story
after your D & C

  • Please log in to reply
16 replies to this topic

#1 NewBeginning

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:45 AM

last tuesday i went for my 12 week scan only to be told bad news..

which resulted in a D & C 2 days later.

Every day i cry. i dont want to speak to anyone, see anyone or actual leave the house as i am struggling so much.

I just want to hear everyones stories after their D&C. how long did it take for bleeding to stop (heavy or light bleed), how long did it take for their period to return?

i feel as though i am at the start of my journey and i guess i want to hear about what its like when you reach that light at the end of your tunnel and how the journey has been?

#2 librablonde

Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:56 AM

Oh OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. sad.gif
After my D&C I bled for about 5 days and my body went through very rapid hormone changes back to it's pre-pg state: breasts reduced in fullness and nipples lightened again, got pimples, I'm sure I had PND or something like that mixed in my my grief. I coped with it by staying in bed a lot, eating too much, drinking too much and crying at odd  moments. I think a little ceremony dedicated to your LO can be of benefit for some people, it was for me.
Big hugs to you, OP  xoxox

ETA: my period took about 29 days to return and was clockwork every month after that. I also had uterine contraction pains for a few weeks after the D&C and my first few periods of the m/c were painful and heavy. Then they normalised and were fine again for me.
Everyone handles m/c differently and the grief process can be shorter or longer for each person. I'm still not over mine, I don't know when I will be. Just take each day as it comes.  xoxox

Edited by librablonde, 04 December 2012 - 08:53 AM.

#3 aleksandrap

Posted 04 December 2012 - 09:41 AM

I'm so sorry to read about your loss OP.

I had my d&c last Thursday after finding out the Friday before that I had had a missed miscarriage so am keen to hear everyone's stories too. I am so up and down both physically and emotionally and feel so drained and sad.
After having all of last week off I came back to work yesterday thinking that I 'should' be fine, but my concentration is non existent and I am definitely not back to my normal self. Most of the office thinks I had a migraine so I feel so alone with it all.
Also I have started to have more bleeding since yesterday (5 days post procedure). For the first 4 days I only had very light spotting, but now it seems there is quite a bit of bright red blood. I was almost 11 weeks at the time of the d&c. Is this normal?

#4 hillplain

Posted 04 December 2012 - 10:44 AM

Hi OP,

Firstly I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is just not fair to have to experience this.

I have had 2 MC this year followed by 2 D&C.
Cycle 1 - IVF ICSI cycle. Hearbeat detected at nearly 7 weeks. Spotting at 11.5 weeks and no hearbeat. Started to MC on my own and then D&C to help. As I have never been pregnant before the physical and emotional loss at nearly 12 weeks was an experience I would never wish on anyone. The DR said that there was still further loss that he removed in the D&C. I stayed at home for a week and cried and eat too much also. Struggled to return to work the following Monday as my employers and office manager know about our IVF journey and success/failures. I cried when I saw people I knew in town whilst shopping and emotionaly was not great due to all of the hormones too. It took I think 26 days for my period to return after. I then waited another 28 days (which is unusual for me as I am 26 day cycler) before I could start my next IVF cycle. I felt a lot more stable after about 3 weeks and was able to manage better.

Cycle 2 - IVF ICSI. Again a BFP. This time heartbeat detected at 7.2 weeks. Had aweful cramps at 8.5 weeks after requesting a second US for 9 weeks. Just before 9 weeks I had another US which showed no heartbeat. D&C the next day as leaving on tour to New Zealand for work with a group of men in 2 days. DH was not happy about me going but we had organised a holiday over there when he came over after 4 days. We did have a holiday and I have returned to work today which I am not all that emotionally stable with but am managing. Not sure how this month will unfold for me.

I can only say that time heals all and say that I truly understand how you are feeling as do so many others. You will never forget but the pain does lessen over time.

#5 Zipper

Posted 04 December 2012 - 10:56 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss OP.

I had a missed misscarriage at 10 weeks in September and had a D and C the next day.  I bleed very heavily for about 2 weeks then a light bleed for another 2 weeks.  

Although this baby was a complete surprise for me it was very much wanted.  I was devestated for a few weeks and cried all the time.  I counted my weeks religiously and in the end I had to stop as it was driving me to depression.  Once I stopped that and accepted that what will be will be and that I couldn't change the situation, I started to feel a bit better everyday. I bought a gorgeous silver bacelet with a saying engraved on it that meant something to me and the baby.  Something to remember them by.  Lately I feel really good and think that making plans (whether it's ttc another or planning a holiday or home reno) really helped me through those dark days.

Remember OP that the pain does gets better and you do move on but you never forget.

#6 Natttmumm

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:14 AM

I am so sorry for your loss - its such a hard time and understandable how you feel at the moment. I have had three miscarriages over the years.

Here's my story:

I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. It was a really tough time and I struggled with it for a long time. The actualy bleeding was minimal and I was absolutely physically fine the next day. Emotionally it took a long time and like you i didnt want to be around people. We fell pregnant again very quickly and sadly lost that one too (no DC). Again physically I was fine a few days later - but emotionally it was tough.

Fast forward 5 years and I do now have 2 children. When my first was born i thought i would instantly feel better but i didnt. I did see a psychologist a few times which helped me through it all. I did take me a long time to recover!

I am now expecting my third. Just before this pregnancy I had a third miscarriage at 7 weeks. It was tough to deal with and i found myself crying much more than i expected. I did have a DC and again the bleeding as minimal and I was fine and back to work the next day. we actually decided not to have another baby - but it happended unexpectedly.

Take time to recover as its a very sad time. I think I tried to rush on and try again after my losses which in hindsight didnt help

#7 mandala

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:24 AM

I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks, after seeing a nice, strong heartbeat at 7 weeks. I ended up having to wait four days for the D&C, and went in the day of my 12 week scan.

Physically, I felt pretty okay after the D&C. The bleeding was minimal - nothing a panty liner couldn't cope with - and it finished within three or so days. However, emotionally, I was a mess. PP likened it to PND, and I think that was pretty close. It took about a month for me to get off the extreme emotional rollercoaster, which I think was mostly hormone-induced. I was still emotionally fragile, but I could at least hold myself together.

After four weeks my cycles returned, but were suddenly 24-26 days rather than 28. It took six months for me to fall pregnant again, even though I was ovulating and everything looked fine. In the end, I fell pregnant when I ovulated on day 14 rather than on day 10 for a change. I found out I was pregnant again about two days before my original EDD. I don't know how I would have gone with that milestone if it wasn't for falling pregnant.

What helped me was that I decided to believe that I didn't lose a baby. I was pregnant, but there must have been something so badly wrong that I could never have had a live, healthy baby. I know my way of thinking is not for everyone, but it did help me.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

#8 NewBeginning

Posted 04 December 2012 - 03:15 PM

thank you for your stories..

its nice to see how people have coped during such a devastating time. from your stories i can see that there is a light.....

i know its going to be a long process, which i will never forget, but i know its going to be a part of my life now.

#9 NoNoBoo

Posted 04 December 2012 - 03:24 PM

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

I had six miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy during my journey to have my three children. It was a long time ago, as my youngest child is now five and my eldest 12, so can't remember too much about the time immediately after each miscarriage. However, I can tell you that, emotionally, it was a very hard time.

But there certainly is light at the end of the tunnel. Time is a wonderful healer. All these years later, I look back at that time and remember the sadness of it, but don't feel sad (if you get what I mean). I wish you the very, very best.

Edited by NoNoBoo, 04 December 2012 - 03:30 PM.

#10 Cookie_J

Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:06 PM

I have some Qs and need some advice about D & C. Unfortunately my GP does not work today, and I have lots of questions. Because of work commitments I can't see her until Saturday.

My first pregnancy, and I just got the bad news today during my 12 week scan that my baby stopped growing some time after week 8. Especially devastated as I had my dating scan at exactly 8 weeks 0 days and everything looked normal and there was a strong heartbeat. I have only had a bit of spotting over the past weekend and normal pregnancy symptoms up to today. I haven't stopped crying all day. The doctor at the U/S clinic recommended a D & C.

1) How quickly can you get booked in for a D & C - seems a few of you had it the day after the miscarriage was diagnosed.
2) Public or private hospital  - does it make a difference apart from hospital excess cost?
3) Were you ok to return to work the day after D & C (physically)? I work full time and my position requires me to travel interstate (fly) for a day or more every week. Need to know if I will should to take more than 1 day off work/ avoid air travel, etc. No one at work knew about my pregnancy. Obviously the emotional toll will be something I'm just going to have to deal with.

#11 leisamd

Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:34 AM

Sorry for your loss OP.

My first mmc was 9 years ago.  I had bleeding one day, a scan the next, then my D&C the next.  I would have been about 13 weeks.  I didn't  bleed for too long after the D&C, about a week I think?  Physically I felt much better almost immediately.  Emotionally, the grief came in waves over the next few months, but the next day I got drunk... very mature way to handle it!  It took ages for my cycle to return, over 6 months, and took me nearly a year to fall pregnant again (with the help of a fertility specialist).  I now know that that is how my body operates, it takes my body close to 12 months to get the hormones back to normal, at the time I was thoroughly freaked out.  That time affected me and changed my priorities, changed the way I saw the world.  I look back on it without much sadness, just wistfulness.

My second mmc was a couple of months ago.  I had some bleeding, a scan, and offered a D&C.  I chose to miscarry naturally with the pessaries to help speed it up, as I wanted to avoid a general aneasthetic  (sp?) if possible.  I bled all up for about 10 weeks which was exhausting, but my cycle returned after 30 days.  I carried on with my days as usual during this time.  Emotionally... rather numb.  I probably still haven't dealt with it really.

#12 librablonde

Posted 06 December 2012 - 11:24 AM

For Cookie_J: I think most women would need at least a day or two off work after a D&C to make sure you're ok after the GA and also you may have some cramping and aching muscles after the D&C. It's different for everyone though. I'm sorry to hear about your loss sad.gif

#13 mandala

Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:13 PM

I'm sorry, cookie J.

When I miscarried, the on-call OB tried to get me in for a D&C the next day (Sunday), but couldn't get a theatre booking. Then, I was given the first appointment of the day for my OB on the Monday, but then she couldn't get a theatre booking for me until the Tuesday afternoon. So, while I think the standard practice was for D&C asap, I ended up waiting four days after learning of the missed miscarriage.

I went private, because I'd already been booked in to see my OB, and I can't imagine it would be that different if public. You might run more risk of being bumped for an emergency c-section, but that still happened for me in a private hospital. I went home two or three hours after the procedure.

Physically, I probably could have gone to work the next day. However, emotionally, I was a big mess and it would have been very hard. I did end up flying overseas for work three weeks later, and I was a bit more together by then. I ended up having two weeks off work, which was the standard for my OB. It might have been better to have gone back earlier for a bit of distraction, but my normal role involved day-long workshops and I couldn't have had the privacy to take a few moments to calm myself. I ended up watching a lot of TV on DVD so I didn't dwell on the miscarriage all the time.

#14 tigers11

Posted 08 December 2012 - 01:20 PM

Sorry to hear of your loss.

I had a MMC in July this year at 7 wks. When I went for the dating scan there was no hb.

I had a D&C a week later. I only was bleeding lightly for 3 days. I had an overseas trip planned for a month and went on it 5 days after the D&C. It was a hard month however I had plenty of time to relax and think about it.

My first cycle after was 40 days (usually I have a 33 day cycle) Second cycle was 30 days. Next cycle we got a BFP. It definately is an emotional time and you will probably always look for answers. After my second cycle I had a mind change and started to be positive again.
Make sure you take time out and take as much time of work and rest as you need. It helps.

Take care

#15 porkchop's mama

Posted 08 December 2012 - 01:32 PM



I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and hope that it's getting a little easier each day.

My background is that I was 36 when the dramas started and we were trying to conceive our first child.  Both of us were healthy.  Had come off mini pill 18 months before first pregnancy...

I had an ectopic then a MMC l like yours, picked up around 7 weeks and then an incomplete MC after this.  Time frame was over 12 months.  I the ectopic Jan 2011 and it took 3 months plus to get sorted out from this.  Fell pregnant naturally in Aug 2011 and then had the next MC Oct 2011.  Took until December 2012 for that third one to resolve.  

I had minimal bleeding straight after the D & C for the MC in Aug/Sept 2011.  10 days later, I had a few days of bleeding.  Never got a real cycle after this because the bleeding went strange with the next MC.  After that final MC resolved, it took 6 weeks or so to get my normal cycle back.

I waited one cycle (went off to London for a holiday) before starting IVF.  

We are now pregnant from that first cycle and expecting our already much loved baby boy in 3 weeks.

Do take care of yourself OP and the ladies here are a tower of strength.


#16 Hopeful Mumma

Posted 20 December 2012 - 05:28 PM

I probably can't add much more than what everyone has already said but this post on my blog outlines my whole experience. Hope it helps!

#17 NewBeginning

Posted 05 January 2013 - 07:31 AM

this is so frustrating as i am now at cycle day 38... and still waiting for AF.. its making the situation a whole lot harder cause i am worried that things wont return to normal.

thank you everyone for your stories...

i am hoping af arrives any day so that i can start the process again..

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


How a raisin can predict a toddler's IQ

All you need to assess a child's future intelligence is a plastic cup and a raisin, according to new research.

Kate Walsh: 'I can't have kids'

Grey's Anatomy star Kate Walsh has revealed she is unable to have children because she has experienced early menopause.

The parasite that could boost fertility

The Tsimane women of Bolivia are often revered as among the most fertile in the world - on average having 10 children in their lifetimes -- but some are even more fertile than others.

Family may sue cousin over genetics

A Melbourne couple is suing the Royal Children's Hospital for failing to diagnose a genetic disorder in their first child - an error they allege caused them to have another child with severe disabilities.

Strange things mums have done in labour

While most women in labour focus on the upcoming birth of their baby, some women do more interesting things.

Michael Clarke reveals baby's name

When Michael Clarke said he was wrapped around the finger of his little princess, he wasn't joking.

The logistics of breastfeeding twins

Our life is more or less divided into neat four hour parcels of time and it's hard to get much of anything done in the time between feeds.

How to stop people ruining Christmas

We can make a conscious effort about how we react to those curly Christmas day scenarios that can send us up the wall, or should we say chimney.

Lots of formula offers for desperate mum

The mum who was down to her last three tins of baby formula said she had received hundreds of calls and offers to send her formula.

Surviving breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Cot sheet brands for the nursery

With so many awesome cot sheet options these days, we thought we'd put together a list of go-to brands for you to seek out for your baby's bed.

The Bugaboo by Diesel Denim launch

Essential Baby attended the launch and it got messy!

Father's letter to Bataclan terrorists

A grieving father whose wife was killed in the attacks on the Bataclan Theatre last weekend has written an open letter to her killers.

Adele's new song to sing along to

Singer follows up success of Hello with new belting ballad When We Were Young.

Major retailers restrict formula sales

Coles and Woolworths have imposed tighter buying bans on baby formula amid a shortage blamed on Chinese consumers.

Three-year-old breaks family's news

If you are three-years-old and an only child, then news doesn't get much bigger than this.

Swapped babies stay with families

A boy and girl accidentally swapped on the day they were born will stay with the families who have raised them, a South African court has ruled.

How life is different with three kids

I knew having a third child would alter our lives, but it's had so many impacts - both tiny and enormous.


What's hot on EB

Win one of two ABC Shop prize packs in time for Christmas

What a boon it would be to have your toddler's Christmas gifts covered this year. We have two awesome ABC Shop prize packs to give away to two lucky winners.

Beautiful 'now and then' images of premature babies

They are stunning photos that the parents of these beautiful no doubt feared they may never see.

Physios warn pregnant women not to crunch like Michelle Bridges

Experts are urging pregnant women not to do exactly as Michelle Bridges does when exercising, or they risk developing rectus abdominus diastasis.

Penny-pinching supermarket shoppers switching in droves

Half of Australia thinks it can get cheaper groceries by switching supermarkets, and about one in four of us have already switched.

Baby breastfed by wrong mother after hospital mix up

A newborn baby has been breastfed by a stranger after a NSW hospital bungled the identities of two newborns, devastating one mother and potentially exposing the newborn to health risks.

Nurses invent skin to skin c-section drape

The determination of three US nurses to provide immediate skin to skin contact to mothers delivering their babies by caesarean section has led to the invention of a unique surgical drape.

Baby's first photo shoot features a special guest

You can always be sure of a few things not entirely going to plan during a newborn shoot – little accidents are almost par for the course – but this shoot was memorable for a whole other reason.

We are not the family you think we are, I promise

Kids have a way of presenting a completely inaccurate impression of you, as parents, and as a family.

The hidden harm of foetal alcohol syndrome disorder

Experts believe many children diagnosed with ADHD might actually have FASD and that the number of people suffering from the condition across the country could be as high as 500,000.

Anaesthetist facing charges after ignoring woman's pain during caesarean

An anaesthetist could be punished after telling a woman enduring an "excruciating" painful C-section that she was not actually in pain.

When your baby starts life in NICU

Our daughters are finally home after spending nearly four weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at Wellington hospital.

How to save for a deposit while renting

As hard as it sounds, it is possible to save money when you rent, and certain things can be done to build a deposit faster.

Medications pregnant women should take, avoid, and think about

There are actually very few medications that must be absolutely avoided during pregnancy.

Paid parental leave uncertainty a growing concern

Eight months out from the due date of the government's PPL cut, some expectant parents are facing an uncertain time.

7 commandments of using the internet as a parent

What you need is careful, objective and repeatable science. Not anecdotes or old wives' tales, but data.

A rethink on screen ban for kids under two

With new guidelines being developed, the discouragement of use below two years of age is being revised.

10 things I want my wife to know

It's on those crazy days that I must remember to stop and let her know some things she needs to hear.

Better education about SIDS needed as deaths plateau

The number of sudden and unexpected deaths in infancy has decreased in NSW for the past 15 years but the most recent report into child deaths reveals the decline has plateaued.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.