please tell me your story
after your D & C
, Dec 04 2012 07:45 AM
16 replies to this topic
Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:45 AM
last tuesday i went for my 12 week scan only to be told bad news..
which resulted in a D & C 2 days later.
Every day i cry. i dont want to speak to anyone, see anyone or actual leave the house as i am struggling so much.
I just want to hear everyones stories after their D&C. how long did it take for bleeding to stop (heavy or light bleed), how long did it take for their period to return?
i feel as though i am at the start of my journey and i guess i want to hear about what its like when you reach that light at the end of your tunnel and how the journey has been?
Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:56 AM
Oh OP, I'm so sorry for your loss.
After my D&C I bled for about 5 days and my body went through very rapid hormone changes back to it's pre-pg state: breasts reduced in fullness and nipples lightened again, got pimples, I'm sure I had PND or something like that mixed in my my grief. I coped with it by staying in bed a lot, eating too much, drinking too much and crying at odd moments. I think a little ceremony dedicated to your LO can be of benefit for some people, it was for me.
Big hugs to you, OP xoxox
ETA: my period took about 29 days to return and was clockwork every month after that. I also had uterine contraction pains for a few weeks after the D&C and my first few periods of the m/c were painful and heavy. Then they normalised and were fine again for me.
Everyone handles m/c differently and the grief process can be shorter or longer for each person. I'm still not over mine, I don't know when I will be. Just take each day as it comes. xoxox
Edited by librablonde, 04 December 2012 - 08:53 AM.
Posted 04 December 2012 - 09:41 AM
I'm so sorry to read about your loss OP.
I had my d&c last Thursday after finding out the Friday before that I had had a missed miscarriage so am keen to hear everyone's stories too. I am so up and down both physically and emotionally and feel so drained and sad.
After having all of last week off I came back to work yesterday thinking that I 'should' be fine, but my concentration is non existent and I am definitely not back to my normal self. Most of the office thinks I had a migraine so I feel so alone with it all.
Also I have started to have more bleeding since yesterday (5 days post procedure). For the first 4 days I only had very light spotting, but now it seems there is quite a bit of bright red blood. I was almost 11 weeks at the time of the d&c. Is this normal?
Posted 04 December 2012 - 10:44 AM
Firstly I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is just not fair to have to experience this.
I have had 2 MC this year followed by 2 D&C.
Cycle 1 - IVF ICSI cycle. Hearbeat detected at nearly 7 weeks. Spotting at 11.5 weeks and no hearbeat. Started to MC on my own and then D&C to help. As I have never been pregnant before the physical and emotional loss at nearly 12 weeks was an experience I would never wish on anyone. The DR said that there was still further loss that he removed in the D&C. I stayed at home for a week and cried and eat too much also. Struggled to return to work the following Monday as my employers and office manager know about our IVF journey and success/failures. I cried when I saw people I knew in town whilst shopping and emotionaly was not great due to all of the hormones too. It took I think 26 days for my period to return after. I then waited another 28 days (which is unusual for me as I am 26 day cycler) before I could start my next IVF cycle. I felt a lot more stable after about 3 weeks and was able to manage better.
Cycle 2 - IVF ICSI. Again a BFP. This time heartbeat detected at 7.2 weeks. Had aweful cramps at 8.5 weeks after requesting a second US for 9 weeks. Just before 9 weeks I had another US which showed no heartbeat. D&C the next day as leaving on tour to New Zealand for work with a group of men in 2 days. DH was not happy about me going but we had organised a holiday over there when he came over after 4 days. We did have a holiday and I have returned to work today which I am not all that emotionally stable with but am managing. Not sure how this month will unfold for me.
I can only say that time heals all and say that I truly understand how you are feeling as do so many others. You will never forget but the pain does lessen over time.
Posted 04 December 2012 - 10:56 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss OP.
I had a missed misscarriage at 10 weeks in September and had a D and C the next day. I bleed very heavily for about 2 weeks then a light bleed for another 2 weeks.
Although this baby was a complete surprise for me it was very much wanted. I was devestated for a few weeks and cried all the time. I counted my weeks religiously and in the end I had to stop as it was driving me to depression. Once I stopped that and accepted that what will be will be and that I couldn't change the situation, I started to feel a bit better everyday. I bought a gorgeous silver bacelet with a saying engraved on it that meant something to me and the baby. Something to remember them by. Lately I feel really good and think that making plans (whether it's ttc another or planning a holiday or home reno) really helped me through those dark days.
Remember OP that the pain does gets better and you do move on but you never forget.
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:14 AM
I am so sorry for your loss - its such a hard time and understandable how you feel at the moment. I have had three miscarriages over the years.
Here's my story:
I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. It was a really tough time and I struggled with it for a long time. The actualy bleeding was minimal and I was absolutely physically fine the next day. Emotionally it took a long time and like you i didnt want to be around people. We fell pregnant again very quickly and sadly lost that one too (no DC). Again physically I was fine a few days later - but emotionally it was tough.
Fast forward 5 years and I do now have 2 children. When my first was born i thought i would instantly feel better but i didnt. I did see a psychologist a few times which helped me through it all. I did take me a long time to recover!
I am now expecting my third. Just before this pregnancy I had a third miscarriage at 7 weeks. It was tough to deal with and i found myself crying much more than i expected. I did have a DC and again the bleeding as minimal and I was fine and back to work the next day. we actually decided not to have another baby - but it happended unexpectedly.
Take time to recover as its a very sad time. I think I tried to rush on and try again after my losses which in hindsight didnt help
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:24 AM
I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks, after seeing a nice, strong heartbeat at 7 weeks. I ended up having to wait four days for the D&C, and went in the day of my 12 week scan.
Physically, I felt pretty okay after the D&C. The bleeding was minimal - nothing a panty liner couldn't cope with - and it finished within three or so days. However, emotionally, I was a mess. PP likened it to PND, and I think that was pretty close. It took about a month for me to get off the extreme emotional rollercoaster, which I think was mostly hormone-induced. I was still emotionally fragile, but I could at least hold myself together.
After four weeks my cycles returned, but were suddenly 24-26 days rather than 28. It took six months for me to fall pregnant again, even though I was ovulating and everything looked fine. In the end, I fell pregnant when I ovulated on day 14 rather than on day 10 for a change. I found out I was pregnant again about two days before my original EDD. I don't know how I would have gone with that milestone if it wasn't for falling pregnant.
What helped me was that I decided to believe that I didn't lose a baby. I was pregnant, but there must have been something so badly wrong that I could never have had a live, healthy baby. I know my way of thinking is not for everyone, but it did help me.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Posted 04 December 2012 - 03:15 PM
thank you for your stories..
its nice to see how people have coped during such a devastating time. from your stories i can see that there is a light.....
i know its going to be a long process, which i will never forget, but i know its going to be a part of my life now.
Posted 04 December 2012 - 03:24 PM
I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
I had six miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy during my journey to have my three children. It was a long time ago, as my youngest child is now five and my eldest 12, so can't remember too much about the time immediately after each miscarriage. However, I can tell you that, emotionally, it was a very hard time.
But there certainly is light at the end of the tunnel. Time is a wonderful healer. All these years later, I look back at that time and remember the sadness of it, but don't feel sad (if you get what I mean). I wish you the very, very best.
Edited by NoNoBoo, 04 December 2012 - 03:30 PM.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:06 PM
I have some Qs and need some advice about D & C. Unfortunately my GP does not work today, and I have lots of questions. Because of work commitments I can't see her until Saturday.
My first pregnancy, and I just got the bad news today during my 12 week scan that my baby stopped growing some time after week 8. Especially devastated as I had my dating scan at exactly 8 weeks 0 days and everything looked normal and there was a strong heartbeat. I have only had a bit of spotting over the past weekend and normal pregnancy symptoms up to today. I haven't stopped crying all day. The doctor at the U/S clinic recommended a D & C.
1) How quickly can you get booked in for a D & C - seems a few of you had it the day after the miscarriage was diagnosed.
2) Public or private hospital - does it make a difference apart from hospital excess cost?
3) Were you ok to return to work the day after D & C (physically)? I work full time and my position requires me to travel interstate (fly) for a day or more every week. Need to know if I will should to take more than 1 day off work/ avoid air travel, etc. No one at work knew about my pregnancy. Obviously the emotional toll will be something I'm just going to have to deal with.
Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:34 AM
Sorry for your loss OP.
My first mmc was 9 years ago. I had bleeding one day, a scan the next, then my D&C the next. I would have been about 13 weeks. I didn't bleed for too long after the D&C, about a week I think? Physically I felt much better almost immediately. Emotionally, the grief came in waves over the next few months, but the next day I got drunk... very mature way to handle it! It took ages for my cycle to return, over 6 months, and took me nearly a year to fall pregnant again (with the help of a fertility specialist). I now know that that is how my body operates, it takes my body close to 12 months to get the hormones back to normal, at the time I was thoroughly freaked out. That time affected me and changed my priorities, changed the way I saw the world. I look back on it without much sadness, just wistfulness.
My second mmc was a couple of months ago. I had some bleeding, a scan, and offered a D&C. I chose to miscarry naturally with the pessaries to help speed it up, as I wanted to avoid a general aneasthetic (sp?) if possible. I bled all up for about 10 weeks which was exhausting, but my cycle returned after 30 days. I carried on with my days as usual during this time. Emotionally... rather numb. I probably still haven't dealt with it really.
Posted 06 December 2012 - 11:24 AM
: I think most women would need at least a day or two off work after a D&C to make sure you're ok after the GA and also you may have some cramping and aching muscles after the D&C. It's different for everyone though. I'm sorry to hear about your loss
Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:13 PM
I'm sorry, cookie J.
When I miscarried, the on-call OB tried to get me in for a D&C the next day (Sunday), but couldn't get a theatre booking. Then, I was given the first appointment of the day for my OB on the Monday, but then she couldn't get a theatre booking for me until the Tuesday afternoon. So, while I think the standard practice was for D&C asap, I ended up waiting four days after learning of the missed miscarriage.
I went private, because I'd already been booked in to see my OB, and I can't imagine it would be that different if public. You might run more risk of being bumped for an emergency c-section, but that still happened for me in a private hospital. I went home two or three hours after the procedure.
Physically, I probably could have gone to work the next day. However, emotionally, I was a big mess and it would have been very hard. I did end up flying overseas for work three weeks later, and I was a bit more together by then. I ended up having two weeks off work, which was the standard for my OB. It might have been better to have gone back earlier for a bit of distraction, but my normal role involved day-long workshops and I couldn't have had the privacy to take a few moments to calm myself. I ended up watching a lot of TV on DVD so I didn't dwell on the miscarriage all the time.
Posted 08 December 2012 - 01:20 PM
Sorry to hear of your loss.
I had a MMC in July this year at 7 wks. When I went for the dating scan there was no hb.
I had a D&C a week later. I only was bleeding lightly for 3 days. I had an overseas trip planned for a month and went on it 5 days after the D&C. It was a hard month however I had plenty of time to relax and think about it.
My first cycle after was 40 days (usually I have a 33 day cycle) Second cycle was 30 days. Next cycle we got a BFP. It definately is an emotional time and you will probably always look for answers. After my second cycle I had a mind change and started to be positive again.
Make sure you take time out and take as much time of work and rest as you need. It helps.
Posted 08 December 2012 - 01:32 PM
PREGNANCY & IVF MENTIONED
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and hope that it's getting a little easier each day.
My background is that I was 36 when the dramas started and we were trying to conceive our first child. Both of us were healthy. Had come off mini pill 18 months before first pregnancy...
I had an ectopic then a MMC l like yours, picked up around 7 weeks and then an incomplete MC after this. Time frame was over 12 months. I the ectopic Jan 2011 and it took 3 months plus to get sorted out from this. Fell pregnant naturally in Aug 2011 and then had the next MC Oct 2011. Took until December 2012 for that third one to resolve.
I had minimal bleeding straight after the D & C for the MC in Aug/Sept 2011. 10 days later, I had a few days of bleeding. Never got a real cycle after this because the bleeding went strange with the next MC. After that final MC resolved, it took 6 weeks or so to get my normal cycle back.
I waited one cycle (went off to London for a holiday) before starting IVF.
We are now pregnant from that first cycle and expecting our already much loved baby boy in 3 weeks.
Do take care of yourself OP and the ladies here are a tower of strength.
Posted 20 December 2012 - 05:28 PM
I probably can't add much more than what everyone has already said but this post on my blog outlines my whole experience. Hope it helps!http://maybehavingababy.blogspot.com.au/20...y-life.html?m=0
Posted 05 January 2013 - 07:31 AM
this is so frustrating as i am now at cycle day 38... and still waiting for AF.. its making the situation a whole lot harder cause i am worried that things wont return to normal.
thank you everyone for your stories...
i am hoping af arrives any day so that i can start the process again..
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.
I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.
There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.
The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.
More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.
A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.
There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.
Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.
Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.
Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.
Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.
Sheryl Sandberg's advice
Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.
The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.
For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.
Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.
The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.
To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!
Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.
We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?
A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.
Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?
Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.
The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!
If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.
It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.
When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?
Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.
Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.
A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.
Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.
With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!
Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".
To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!
I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.
There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.
When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.
A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.
Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.
If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.
According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.
Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.
Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.
An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.
A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.
Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.
Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.
A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.
Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.
Sign up now!
Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.