please tell me your story
after your D & C
, Dec 04 2012 07:45 AM
16 replies to this topic
Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:45 AM
last tuesday i went for my 12 week scan only to be told bad news..
which resulted in a D & C 2 days later.
Every day i cry. i dont want to speak to anyone, see anyone or actual leave the house as i am struggling so much.
I just want to hear everyones stories after their D&C. how long did it take for bleeding to stop (heavy or light bleed), how long did it take for their period to return?
i feel as though i am at the start of my journey and i guess i want to hear about what its like when you reach that light at the end of your tunnel and how the journey has been?
Posted 04 December 2012 - 07:56 AM
Oh OP, I'm so sorry for your loss.
After my D&C I bled for about 5 days and my body went through very rapid hormone changes back to it's pre-pg state: breasts reduced in fullness and nipples lightened again, got pimples, I'm sure I had PND or something like that mixed in my my grief. I coped with it by staying in bed a lot, eating too much, drinking too much and crying at odd moments. I think a little ceremony dedicated to your LO can be of benefit for some people, it was for me.
Big hugs to you, OP xoxox
ETA: my period took about 29 days to return and was clockwork every month after that. I also had uterine contraction pains for a few weeks after the D&C and my first few periods of the m/c were painful and heavy. Then they normalised and were fine again for me.
Everyone handles m/c differently and the grief process can be shorter or longer for each person. I'm still not over mine, I don't know when I will be. Just take each day as it comes. xoxox
Edited by librablonde, 04 December 2012 - 08:53 AM.
Posted 04 December 2012 - 09:41 AM
I'm so sorry to read about your loss OP.
I had my d&c last Thursday after finding out the Friday before that I had had a missed miscarriage so am keen to hear everyone's stories too. I am so up and down both physically and emotionally and feel so drained and sad.
After having all of last week off I came back to work yesterday thinking that I 'should' be fine, but my concentration is non existent and I am definitely not back to my normal self. Most of the office thinks I had a migraine so I feel so alone with it all.
Also I have started to have more bleeding since yesterday (5 days post procedure). For the first 4 days I only had very light spotting, but now it seems there is quite a bit of bright red blood. I was almost 11 weeks at the time of the d&c. Is this normal?
Posted 04 December 2012 - 10:44 AM
Firstly I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is just not fair to have to experience this.
I have had 2 MC this year followed by 2 D&C.
Cycle 1 - IVF ICSI cycle. Hearbeat detected at nearly 7 weeks. Spotting at 11.5 weeks and no hearbeat. Started to MC on my own and then D&C to help. As I have never been pregnant before the physical and emotional loss at nearly 12 weeks was an experience I would never wish on anyone. The DR said that there was still further loss that he removed in the D&C. I stayed at home for a week and cried and eat too much also. Struggled to return to work the following Monday as my employers and office manager know about our IVF journey and success/failures. I cried when I saw people I knew in town whilst shopping and emotionaly was not great due to all of the hormones too. It took I think 26 days for my period to return after. I then waited another 28 days (which is unusual for me as I am 26 day cycler) before I could start my next IVF cycle. I felt a lot more stable after about 3 weeks and was able to manage better.
Cycle 2 - IVF ICSI. Again a BFP. This time heartbeat detected at 7.2 weeks. Had aweful cramps at 8.5 weeks after requesting a second US for 9 weeks. Just before 9 weeks I had another US which showed no heartbeat. D&C the next day as leaving on tour to New Zealand for work with a group of men in 2 days. DH was not happy about me going but we had organised a holiday over there when he came over after 4 days. We did have a holiday and I have returned to work today which I am not all that emotionally stable with but am managing. Not sure how this month will unfold for me.
I can only say that time heals all and say that I truly understand how you are feeling as do so many others. You will never forget but the pain does lessen over time.
Posted 04 December 2012 - 10:56 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss OP.
I had a missed misscarriage at 10 weeks in September and had a D and C the next day. I bleed very heavily for about 2 weeks then a light bleed for another 2 weeks.
Although this baby was a complete surprise for me it was very much wanted. I was devestated for a few weeks and cried all the time. I counted my weeks religiously and in the end I had to stop as it was driving me to depression. Once I stopped that and accepted that what will be will be and that I couldn't change the situation, I started to feel a bit better everyday. I bought a gorgeous silver bacelet with a saying engraved on it that meant something to me and the baby. Something to remember them by. Lately I feel really good and think that making plans (whether it's ttc another or planning a holiday or home reno) really helped me through those dark days.
Remember OP that the pain does gets better and you do move on but you never forget.
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:14 AM
I am so sorry for your loss - its such a hard time and understandable how you feel at the moment. I have had three miscarriages over the years.
Here's my story:
I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. It was a really tough time and I struggled with it for a long time. The actualy bleeding was minimal and I was absolutely physically fine the next day. Emotionally it took a long time and like you i didnt want to be around people. We fell pregnant again very quickly and sadly lost that one too (no DC). Again physically I was fine a few days later - but emotionally it was tough.
Fast forward 5 years and I do now have 2 children. When my first was born i thought i would instantly feel better but i didnt. I did see a psychologist a few times which helped me through it all. I did take me a long time to recover!
I am now expecting my third. Just before this pregnancy I had a third miscarriage at 7 weeks. It was tough to deal with and i found myself crying much more than i expected. I did have a DC and again the bleeding as minimal and I was fine and back to work the next day. we actually decided not to have another baby - but it happended unexpectedly.
Take time to recover as its a very sad time. I think I tried to rush on and try again after my losses which in hindsight didnt help
Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:24 AM
I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks, after seeing a nice, strong heartbeat at 7 weeks. I ended up having to wait four days for the D&C, and went in the day of my 12 week scan.
Physically, I felt pretty okay after the D&C. The bleeding was minimal - nothing a panty liner couldn't cope with - and it finished within three or so days. However, emotionally, I was a mess. PP likened it to PND, and I think that was pretty close. It took about a month for me to get off the extreme emotional rollercoaster, which I think was mostly hormone-induced. I was still emotionally fragile, but I could at least hold myself together.
After four weeks my cycles returned, but were suddenly 24-26 days rather than 28. It took six months for me to fall pregnant again, even though I was ovulating and everything looked fine. In the end, I fell pregnant when I ovulated on day 14 rather than on day 10 for a change. I found out I was pregnant again about two days before my original EDD. I don't know how I would have gone with that milestone if it wasn't for falling pregnant.
What helped me was that I decided to believe that I didn't lose a baby. I was pregnant, but there must have been something so badly wrong that I could never have had a live, healthy baby. I know my way of thinking is not for everyone, but it did help me.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Posted 04 December 2012 - 03:15 PM
thank you for your stories..
its nice to see how people have coped during such a devastating time. from your stories i can see that there is a light.....
i know its going to be a long process, which i will never forget, but i know its going to be a part of my life now.
Posted 04 December 2012 - 03:24 PM
I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
I had six miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy during my journey to have my three children. It was a long time ago, as my youngest child is now five and my eldest 12, so can't remember too much about the time immediately after each miscarriage. However, I can tell you that, emotionally, it was a very hard time.
But there certainly is light at the end of the tunnel. Time is a wonderful healer. All these years later, I look back at that time and remember the sadness of it, but don't feel sad (if you get what I mean). I wish you the very, very best.
Edited by NoNoBoo, 04 December 2012 - 03:30 PM.
Posted 05 December 2012 - 02:06 PM
I have some Qs and need some advice about D & C. Unfortunately my GP does not work today, and I have lots of questions. Because of work commitments I can't see her until Saturday.
My first pregnancy, and I just got the bad news today during my 12 week scan that my baby stopped growing some time after week 8. Especially devastated as I had my dating scan at exactly 8 weeks 0 days and everything looked normal and there was a strong heartbeat. I have only had a bit of spotting over the past weekend and normal pregnancy symptoms up to today. I haven't stopped crying all day. The doctor at the U/S clinic recommended a D & C.
1) How quickly can you get booked in for a D & C - seems a few of you had it the day after the miscarriage was diagnosed.
2) Public or private hospital - does it make a difference apart from hospital excess cost?
3) Were you ok to return to work the day after D & C (physically)? I work full time and my position requires me to travel interstate (fly) for a day or more every week. Need to know if I will should to take more than 1 day off work/ avoid air travel, etc. No one at work knew about my pregnancy. Obviously the emotional toll will be something I'm just going to have to deal with.
Posted 06 December 2012 - 09:34 AM
Sorry for your loss OP.
My first mmc was 9 years ago. I had bleeding one day, a scan the next, then my D&C the next. I would have been about 13 weeks. I didn't bleed for too long after the D&C, about a week I think? Physically I felt much better almost immediately. Emotionally, the grief came in waves over the next few months, but the next day I got drunk... very mature way to handle it! It took ages for my cycle to return, over 6 months, and took me nearly a year to fall pregnant again (with the help of a fertility specialist). I now know that that is how my body operates, it takes my body close to 12 months to get the hormones back to normal, at the time I was thoroughly freaked out. That time affected me and changed my priorities, changed the way I saw the world. I look back on it without much sadness, just wistfulness.
My second mmc was a couple of months ago. I had some bleeding, a scan, and offered a D&C. I chose to miscarry naturally with the pessaries to help speed it up, as I wanted to avoid a general aneasthetic (sp?) if possible. I bled all up for about 10 weeks which was exhausting, but my cycle returned after 30 days. I carried on with my days as usual during this time. Emotionally... rather numb. I probably still haven't dealt with it really.
Posted 06 December 2012 - 11:24 AM
: I think most women would need at least a day or two off work after a D&C to make sure you're ok after the GA and also you may have some cramping and aching muscles after the D&C. It's different for everyone though. I'm sorry to hear about your loss
Posted 06 December 2012 - 12:13 PM
I'm sorry, cookie J.
When I miscarried, the on-call OB tried to get me in for a D&C the next day (Sunday), but couldn't get a theatre booking. Then, I was given the first appointment of the day for my OB on the Monday, but then she couldn't get a theatre booking for me until the Tuesday afternoon. So, while I think the standard practice was for D&C asap, I ended up waiting four days after learning of the missed miscarriage.
I went private, because I'd already been booked in to see my OB, and I can't imagine it would be that different if public. You might run more risk of being bumped for an emergency c-section, but that still happened for me in a private hospital. I went home two or three hours after the procedure.
Physically, I probably could have gone to work the next day. However, emotionally, I was a big mess and it would have been very hard. I did end up flying overseas for work three weeks later, and I was a bit more together by then. I ended up having two weeks off work, which was the standard for my OB. It might have been better to have gone back earlier for a bit of distraction, but my normal role involved day-long workshops and I couldn't have had the privacy to take a few moments to calm myself. I ended up watching a lot of TV on DVD so I didn't dwell on the miscarriage all the time.
Posted 08 December 2012 - 01:20 PM
Sorry to hear of your loss.
I had a MMC in July this year at 7 wks. When I went for the dating scan there was no hb.
I had a D&C a week later. I only was bleeding lightly for 3 days. I had an overseas trip planned for a month and went on it 5 days after the D&C. It was a hard month however I had plenty of time to relax and think about it.
My first cycle after was 40 days (usually I have a 33 day cycle) Second cycle was 30 days. Next cycle we got a BFP. It definately is an emotional time and you will probably always look for answers. After my second cycle I had a mind change and started to be positive again.
Make sure you take time out and take as much time of work and rest as you need. It helps.
Posted 08 December 2012 - 01:32 PM
PREGNANCY & IVF MENTIONED
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and hope that it's getting a little easier each day.
My background is that I was 36 when the dramas started and we were trying to conceive our first child. Both of us were healthy. Had come off mini pill 18 months before first pregnancy...
I had an ectopic then a MMC l like yours, picked up around 7 weeks and then an incomplete MC after this. Time frame was over 12 months. I the ectopic Jan 2011 and it took 3 months plus to get sorted out from this. Fell pregnant naturally in Aug 2011 and then had the next MC Oct 2011. Took until December 2012 for that third one to resolve.
I had minimal bleeding straight after the D & C for the MC in Aug/Sept 2011. 10 days later, I had a few days of bleeding. Never got a real cycle after this because the bleeding went strange with the next MC. After that final MC resolved, it took 6 weeks or so to get my normal cycle back.
I waited one cycle (went off to London for a holiday) before starting IVF.
We are now pregnant from that first cycle and expecting our already much loved baby boy in 3 weeks.
Do take care of yourself OP and the ladies here are a tower of strength.
Posted 20 December 2012 - 05:28 PM
I probably can't add much more than what everyone has already said but this post on my blog outlines my whole experience. Hope it helps!http://maybehavingababy.blogspot.com.au/20...y-life.html?m=0
Posted 05 January 2013 - 07:31 AM
this is so frustrating as i am now at cycle day 38... and still waiting for AF.. its making the situation a whole lot harder cause i am worried that things wont return to normal.
thank you everyone for your stories...
i am hoping af arrives any day so that i can start the process again..
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users
A helicopter or tiger mum, I am not.
We asked a bunch of mums which nappy bags they love the most.
If you're feeling the pressure to host an all-out, over-the-top shindig for your baby's birthday, I hereby grant you permission to throw the rules out the window.
If you're on the hunt for the perfect baby name and don't want a chart-topper like Oliver or Olivia, then do we have the list for you.
Q: My mother and I have always been close, but now that I have a baby, she has not helped out as much as I thought she would.
Breast is best, but mums who can't, or choose not to breastfeed need support too.
Men and women both experience work-family conflict.
Study found babies can recognise foreign languages before birth.
From our network
As the 2017 flu season begins in earnest, here?s what you need to know to protect yourself and baby.
Money might be funny in a rich man's world (or so ABBA told us), but for the rest of us it's a major consideration – particularly before having a baby.
Maternity leave is a special time for you, your partner and your new little bundle. The last thing you want is for financial worries to stand in the way of that joy.
Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.
Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.
See what names are trending this year.