Jump to content

UPDATED AGAIN - BFP #3 and not OK (M/C mentioned)


  • Please log in to reply
27 replies to this topic

#1 namesnamesnames

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:28 PM

We had been TTC #3 for over two years, with 3 miscarriages in that time (four in total) as well as the death of my best friend to cancer. She was my biggest support and an amazing Mum, and I miss her very much. The last miscarriage without her was the hardest.

I truly felt that my 2nd child was not my last. It's taken me months to feel comfortable with not trying again - I don't think I could take another loss, especially without her. My two are 3 and 5, and are at a stage of real independence - no more dressing, no more nappies and just lovely to be around (most of the time!).

In the last two weeks I feel okay about no more kids. I'm okay with not wearing the maternity clothes I bought before the miscarriages. I'm okay with giving away the baby clothes (some of which are new). I'm okay with just two. I'm okay with moving on.

But yesterday I got a BFP. I can't feel happy about it. It's the first time in seven pregnancies that I don't know my dates. I'm not holding out any hope that this one will continue, and part of me can't wait for the 8-10 wk mark when all the other M/C have happened. And today, I just want to cry.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this. Maybe someone feeling the same way will read it, and know they aren't alone...

Edited by namesnamesnames, 08 January 2013 - 09:18 AM.


#2 TillyTake2

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:37 PM

I'm so sorry sad.gif Big hugs xx Maybe this one will be a fresh start, is it possible you are past the 8-10 week stage?

#3 namesnamesnames

Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:08 PM

Thanks. No chance to be that far along - more like 5ish+ weeks. This year has been such a blur that I really don't know...

#4 namesnamesnames

Posted 31 December 2012 - 07:58 PM

We had a scan today and heard a heartbeat, which just made me cry (and not in a good way). The sonographer was really nice and jovial, and jokingly said 'so, is this number 7 or 8?'. I wanted to reply with 'well actually, it is 7, but I only have 2 kids', but couldn't get the words out so DH had to answer for me. The sonographer really was sweet about it though...  

Tonight, I'm just sad. I've been waiting for this year to be over for a long time. Now it's over, I don't feel any better. I keep reading all this 'what was the best thing in 2012' and I can't think of one single thing. I have noone to share this secret or my feelings with, so anonymously over the internet seems to be my only option...

#5 jobo77

Posted 01 January 2013 - 05:06 PM

bbighug.gif  I am sorry I have no wise words or advice from you but I hope that 2013 brings you some much deserved happiness and peace. A new year and hopefully a new beginning for your family xx

#6 flyingfree

Posted 01 January 2013 - 05:56 PM

I was in your position nearly 4 years ago.
After DS2 in 2004 I always wanted a fourth child, it took me just over 4 years to be happy and content with my 3 children and within 2 months I was pregnant.  It took a bit of adjusting but we were excitingly awaiting the arrival of our little girl.  Unfortunatley she was stillborn at 28 weeks.  With another 2 losses after her I know my family is now complete.
How are you now feeling about your pregnancy after seeing your baby

#7 namesnamesnames

Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:27 AM

I figured I might as well update this so it doesn't become one of those 'I wonder what happened' threads.

Yesterday was the start of my 5th M/C. I'm just over this. I didn't even bother pulling out the pregnancy guide books this time. I knew there was no reason to get excited and hope this one would stick, but we had started to talk about mat leave, and where the baby would sleep etc because you just can't help thinking about these things.

Thanks for your support rubylilysmum, jobo77 and tillytake2 and anyone else reading along with this train-wreck of a thread.

#8 little lion

Posted 08 January 2013 - 03:28 PM

I'm very sorry to hear your update. One mc is awful, that I know. I cannot imagine five. I understand you start to plan and dream and it is so hard when that's taken away.

#9 jobo77

Posted 08 January 2013 - 05:22 PM

I am so sorry to read your update and wish it could have been a better start to the year for you sad.gif

#10 Acidulous Osprey

Posted 08 January 2013 - 05:29 PM

I'm so sorry to read this.  It can be so bloody unfair sad.gif

#11 flyingfree

Posted 08 January 2013 - 08:17 PM

I am so sorry to read this heartbreaking news.

Its so hard not to start making plans for your baby to be and then have it taken from you, my last miscarriage I tried not to make plans but still did even if they were just in my head.

Take care of yourself and if you would like to catch feel free to PM me.

Mandy xxx

#12 Taystee

Posted 08 January 2013 - 08:28 PM

oh hon, i am so sorry sad.gif

#13 namesnamesnames

Posted 12 January 2013 - 09:41 PM

Doctors are idiots. I've had to answer the question 'why do you think you are having a miscarriage?' three times now. I've been here 4 times before. I know what is happening. Do you really need me to spell it out to you? Thank goodness for the midwives at the Early Pregnancy Assessment Service at the hospital. No stupid questions.

I have noone to talk to, and feel so desperately lonely. I tried to talk to DH, but he is a man and doesn't understand, and certainly is useless with the right words. I got so mad at him tonight that I left and went to my friend's grave. She can't talk back, but at least she listens...

#14 namesnamesnames

Posted 08 April 2013 - 01:49 PM

What's another update to a complete train-wreck of a thread...

2013 was supposed to be a better year. But here we are in April up to M/C number 6, at 9wks this time... so over this.

When do you just give up? The next one could be 'it' (well, that's what we thought this time...) or we could just be here in this miserable place again...


#15 Bazinga

Posted 08 April 2013 - 01:58 PM

bbighug.gif

Are you working with a FS? Do you know the reasons behind your MC?

#16 FaithHopeLove

Posted 08 April 2013 - 02:07 PM

bbighug.gif just wanted to say how sorry i am to hear you are going through this. have you talked to a counsellor? sounds like you really need the support.

#17 Libster

Posted 08 April 2013 - 02:15 PM

I am so sorry to hear this news sad.gif I had twins, then 2 miscarriages & if I had a third MC I'm not sure my heart could have taken it so I admire you for trying so many times. Just echoing Bazinga, if you are seeing a FS do they have any answers?

#18 itsmybaby

Posted 08 April 2013 - 08:12 PM

I'm really sorry to read this post. I don't know, how you handle this situation? Hope it will repeat in your life again.sad.gifsad.gif

#19 MissNess

Posted 08 April 2013 - 08:22 PM

I'm so sorry, I wish I had some great words for you. I hope that you get some answers as to why this is happening.

#20 ChilliDog

Posted 08 April 2013 - 09:14 PM

hugs OP ... so sorry to read your devastating news. I hope you get some answers soon xx

#21 TillyTake2

Posted 08 April 2013 - 09:30 PM

Oh I'm so sorry sad.gif

I didn't see your update last time but just saw this.

This is possibly a stupid question but have you had the miscarriages investigated? Seen an ob who specialises in multiple misscarriage? There is likely a reason given this is now 4 in a row. It is likely if they can find it, they can prevent it happening again, if you do decide you'd like to try again.

I have a friend who had 5 misscarriage in a row before being diagnosed with an autoimmune condition. Since starting treatment she has fallen pregnant again and is now 25 weeks so there is hope original.gif

Have you considered going to see a psychologist to talk thins through? I'd really recommend it.

Edited by TillyTake2, 08 April 2013 - 09:30 PM.


#22 namesnamesnames

Posted 09 April 2013 - 02:26 PM

Thanks for your support everyone.

OB has done lots of tests for the 'usual' suspects (lupus, chromosomes etc) but as far as they are all concerned we (DH and I) are 'normal'. Doesn't make you feel much better.

FS appointment on Monday - didn't expect to add another MC to the list before we could see them though.

Unfortunately a counsellor isn't really going to be able to do much. The only things that could make this better was for the one person I could talk to not to have died and these MCs not happen in the first place. Not much they can do for either of those things. Things can't get much worse, here's hoping they get better!

#23 zingy

Posted 11 April 2013 - 05:29 PM

I have only just read this topic and my heart goes out to you  hheart.gif hheart.gif  

I have been where you are. I had 1 child and had been trying to conceive my 2nd since the first was born. I had 4 m/c over 5 years and we had every test known to man but no cause could be found.

Even though I was ovulating naturally it seemed to be quite a late release. My OB ended up giving me Clomid and this regulated my O cycle. We ended up conceiving twins and I started taking progesterone pessaries as early as I could (before 4 weeks). The progesterone was definately the winner for us but I also think my eggs were hanging around too long before coming down for fertilization...the Clomid fixed this.

I have gone on to use progesterone in early pregnancy 2 more times with success. I did lose a bub last August at 29 weeks but this was not to do with any of the above, just a shocking chain of events.

I was wondering how you went with your FS on Monday?

I truly hope that you can find the answers and help that you need to keep going and get your happy ending.




#24 Missy Shelby

Posted 11 April 2013 - 05:36 PM

Life is just not fair sometimes OP, big hugs bbighug.gif xoxo

#25 namesnamesnames

Posted 21 May 2013 - 09:09 PM

Another update for those reading along...

The FS has run just about every possible test on both DH and I, and hasn't found a single thing. We are both 'normal' which would normally be a good thing.

She's given us three options - Clexane injections and progesterone pessaries daily until 12 wks in any future pregnancies, IVF for genetic selection of viable embryos (sorry, don't know the right IVF term for that) or just give up.

Right now, I think we will just wait and see. IVF isn't an option I could consider, so it's either injections that may or may not work or giving up.

Thanks for all your supportive messages...




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Kelly Clarkson shares first photos of son

Kelly Clarkson has shown off the first photos of her son, Remington Alexander Blackstock.

5 childbirth myths that need to be busted

Birth is an unpredictable, mysterious process that intrigues us all, and there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Mum of three fatally shot by toddler while driving

A US mother has been shot by her toddler while driving on a highway in Wisconsin.

All you need is one minute to work out

The seven-minute-work out is old news. Research shows the effectiveness of going hell-for-leather for just one minute.

Pregnant women needed to join diabetes study

Pregnant woman in country Australia will help Adelaide researchers figure out why cases of type 1 diabetes have doubled over the past two decades.

Just announced: the Mountain Buggy Unirider

It's the perfect solution to combat those toddler meltdowns when they no longer want to be in a pram but can't walk long distances.

Authorities euthanise dog that fatally bit a newborn baby

A pit bull mix that fatally bit a 3-day-old infant last week has been euthanised, authorities said.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Why it's perfectly natural to dislike other people's children

Members of a popular forum are fiercely debating whether it is acceptable to dislike a friend's child.

Woman gives birth on plane, names baby after airline

A pregnant woman who unexpectedly gave birth on a flight has named her new baby after the airline, Jetstar.

Heartwarming photos show the joy of adoption after foster care

Children living in foster care can feel like their future is less than clear. But that uncertainty disappears the day they are adopted by their "forever family" 

'Oh my god, it's a baby!' Mum shocked to give birth

When the cramps started to kick in, Klara Dollan just assumed a painful period was starting.

Mum's Facebook plea: 'Help me find my daughter's father'

Kerryn has a unusual present planned for daughter Imi's 13th birthday celebrations - she hopes to be able to be able to give the soon-to-be the teenager her first ever photo of her dad.

Is it possible for your house to be too clean?

Our houses are cleaner than ever before. But how clean is too clean? Could a sterile home be putting your family's health at risk?

Millions of Monkeys: puzzles that grow with your toddler

Here's a puzzle that grows with them; the Puzzle Grow Pack by Millions of Monkeys.

Baby names from Britpop

If you grew up in the 90s you might want to look to the genre of Britpop music for baby name inspiration.

What to eat and drink when you have gastro

When you catch a bug that causes acute infectious gastroenteritis (gastro), your stomach and intestinal tract become inflamed, causing diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramping and pain. The last thing you probably feel like doing is eating.

'To this day, I owe her my life'

Would I have survived if I hadn't crossed that street?

Why baby Sonny needs you to vaccinate your children

Caitlin is a firm believer in the importance of immunisation to protect children from harmful and deadly diseases.

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.