UPDATED AGAIN - BFP #3 and not OK (M/C mentioned)
, Dec 03 2012 07:28 PM
27 replies to this topic
Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:28 PM
We had been TTC #3 for over two years, with 3 miscarriages in that time (four in total) as well as the death of my best friend to cancer. She was my biggest support and an amazing Mum, and I miss her very much. The last miscarriage without her was the hardest.
I truly felt that my 2nd child was not my last. It's taken me months to feel comfortable with not trying again - I don't think I could take another loss, especially without her. My two are 3 and 5, and are at a stage of real independence - no more dressing, no more nappies and just lovely to be around (most of the time!).
In the last two weeks I feel okay about no more kids. I'm okay with not wearing the maternity clothes I bought before the miscarriages. I'm okay with giving away the baby clothes (some of which are new). I'm okay with just two. I'm okay with moving on.
But yesterday I got a BFP. I can't feel happy about it. It's the first time in seven pregnancies that I don't know my dates. I'm not holding out any hope that this one will continue, and part of me can't wait for the 8-10 wk mark when all the other M/C have happened. And today, I just want to cry.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this. Maybe someone feeling the same way will read it, and know they aren't alone...
Edited by namesnamesnames, 08 January 2013 - 09:18 AM.
Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:37 PM
I'm so sorry
Big hugs xx Maybe this one will be a fresh start, is it possible you are past the 8-10 week stage?
Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:08 PM
Thanks. No chance to be that far along - more like 5ish+ weeks. This year has been such a blur that I really don't know...
Posted 31 December 2012 - 07:58 PM
We had a scan today and heard a heartbeat, which just made me cry (and not in a good way). The sonographer was really nice and jovial, and jokingly said 'so, is this number 7 or 8?'. I wanted to reply with 'well actually, it is 7, but I only have 2 kids', but couldn't get the words out so DH had to answer for me. The sonographer really was sweet about it though...
Tonight, I'm just sad. I've been waiting for this year to be over for a long time. Now it's over, I don't feel any better. I keep reading all this 'what was the best thing in 2012' and I can't think of one single thing. I have noone to share this secret or my feelings with, so anonymously over the internet seems to be my only option...
Posted 01 January 2013 - 05:06 PM
I am sorry I have no wise words or advice from you but I hope that 2013 brings you some much deserved happiness and peace. A new year and hopefully a new beginning for your family xx
Posted 01 January 2013 - 05:56 PM
I was in your position nearly 4 years ago.
After DS2 in 2004 I always wanted a fourth child, it took me just over 4 years to be happy and content with my 3 children and within 2 months I was pregnant. It took a bit of adjusting but we were excitingly awaiting the arrival of our little girl. Unfortunatley she was stillborn at 28 weeks. With another 2 losses after her I know my family is now complete.
How are you now feeling about your pregnancy after seeing your baby
Posted 08 January 2013 - 09:27 AM
I figured I might as well update this so it doesn't become one of those 'I wonder what happened' threads.
Yesterday was the start of my 5th M/C. I'm just over this. I didn't even bother pulling out the pregnancy guide books this time. I knew there was no reason to get excited and hope this one would stick, but we had started to talk about mat leave, and where the baby would sleep etc because you just can't help thinking about these things.
Thanks for your support rubylilysmum, jobo77 and tillytake2 and anyone else reading along with this train-wreck of a thread.
Posted 08 January 2013 - 03:28 PM
I'm very sorry to hear your update. One mc is awful, that I know. I cannot imagine five. I understand you start to plan and dream and it is so hard when that's taken away.
Posted 08 January 2013 - 05:22 PM
I am so sorry to read your update and wish it could have been a better start to the year for you
Posted 08 January 2013 - 05:29 PM
I'm so sorry to read this. It can be so bloody unfair
Posted 08 January 2013 - 08:17 PM
I am so sorry to read this heartbreaking news.
Its so hard not to start making plans for your baby to be and then have it taken from you, my last miscarriage I tried not to make plans but still did even if they were just in my head.
Take care of yourself and if you would like to catch feel free to PM me.
Posted 08 January 2013 - 08:28 PM
oh hon, i am so sorry
Posted 12 January 2013 - 09:41 PM
Doctors are idiots. I've had to answer the question 'why do you think you are having a miscarriage?' three times now. I've been here 4 times before. I know what is happening. Do you really need me to spell it out to you? Thank goodness for the midwives at the Early Pregnancy Assessment Service at the hospital. No stupid questions.
I have noone to talk to, and feel so desperately lonely. I tried to talk to DH, but he is a man and doesn't understand, and certainly is useless with the right words. I got so mad at him tonight that I left and went to my friend's grave. She can't talk back, but at least she listens...
Posted 08 April 2013 - 01:49 PM
What's another update to a complete train-wreck of a thread...
2013 was supposed to be a better year. But here we are in April up to M/C number 6, at 9wks this time... so over this.
When do you just give up? The next one could be 'it' (well, that's what we thought this time...) or we could just be here in this miserable place again...
Posted 08 April 2013 - 01:58 PM
Are you working with a FS? Do you know the reasons behind your MC?
Posted 08 April 2013 - 02:07 PM
just wanted to say how sorry i am to hear you are going through this. have you talked to a counsellor? sounds like you really need the support.
Posted 08 April 2013 - 02:15 PM
I am so sorry to hear this news
I had twins, then 2 miscarriages & if I had a third MC I'm not sure my heart could have taken it so I admire you for trying so many times. Just echoing Bazinga, if you are seeing a FS do they have any answers?
Posted 08 April 2013 - 08:12 PM
I'm really sorry to read this post. I don't know, how you handle this situation? Hope it will repeat in your life again.
Posted 08 April 2013 - 08:22 PM
I'm so sorry, I wish I had some great words for you. I hope that you get some answers as to why this is happening.
Posted 08 April 2013 - 09:14 PM
hugs OP ... so sorry to read your devastating news. I hope you get some answers soon xx
Posted 08 April 2013 - 09:30 PM
Oh I'm so sorry
I didn't see your update last time but just saw this.
This is possibly a stupid question but have you had the miscarriages investigated? Seen an ob who specialises in multiple misscarriage? There is likely a reason given this is now 4 in a row. It is likely if they can find it, they can prevent it happening again, if you do decide you'd like to try again.
I have a friend who had 5 misscarriage in a row before being diagnosed with an autoimmune condition. Since starting treatment she has fallen pregnant again and is now 25 weeks so there is hope
Have you considered going to see a psychologist to talk thins through? I'd really recommend it.
Edited by TillyTake2, 08 April 2013 - 09:30 PM.
Posted 09 April 2013 - 02:26 PM
Thanks for your support everyone.
OB has done lots of tests for the 'usual' suspects (lupus, chromosomes etc) but as far as they are all concerned we (DH and I) are 'normal'. Doesn't make you feel much better.
FS appointment on Monday - didn't expect to add another MC to the list before we could see them though.
Unfortunately a counsellor isn't really going to be able to do much. The only things that could make this better was for the one person I could talk to not to have died and these MCs not happen in the first place. Not much they can do for either of those things. Things can't get much worse, here's hoping they get better!
Posted 11 April 2013 - 05:29 PM
I have only just read this topic and my heart goes out to you
I have been where you are. I had 1 child and had been trying to conceive my 2nd since the first was born. I had 4 m/c over 5 years and we had every test known to man but no cause could be found.
Even though I was ovulating naturally it seemed to be quite a late release. My OB ended up giving me Clomid and this regulated my O cycle. We ended up conceiving twins and I started taking progesterone pessaries as early as I could (before 4 weeks). The progesterone was definately the winner for us but I also think my eggs were hanging around too long before coming down for fertilization...the Clomid fixed this.
I have gone on to use progesterone in early pregnancy 2 more times with success. I did lose a bub last August at 29 weeks but this was not to do with any of the above, just a shocking chain of events.
I was wondering how you went with your FS on Monday?
I truly hope that you can find the answers and help that you need to keep going and get your happy ending.
Posted 11 April 2013 - 05:36 PM
Life is just not fair sometimes OP, big hugs
Posted 21 May 2013 - 09:09 PM
Another update for those reading along...
The FS has run just about every possible test on both DH and I, and hasn't found a single thing. We are both 'normal' which would normally be a good thing.
She's given us three options - Clexane injections and progesterone pessaries daily until 12 wks in any future pregnancies, IVF for genetic selection of viable embryos (sorry, don't know the right IVF term for that) or just give up.
Right now, I think we will just wait and see. IVF isn't an option I could consider, so it's either injections that may or may not work or giving up.
Thanks for all your supportive messages...
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.
Desperate, out of petrol and low on food, a new mother lit a fire in the hope of attracting attention.
The story was chilling and heartbreaking: a three-year-old boy was found dead in a Southern Maryland park, his mother pushing him on the swing.
Feeling fatigued? Uh-huh, thought as much. Join the queue.
For many new dads, their own child is the first baby they have ever held. So one dad has posted an instructive YouTube video titled "How to Hold a Baby".
She may be only eight months old, but Egypt has already amassed more than 100,000 fans and received a letter from royalty - Hollywood royalty that is.
Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have invited well-wishers to see Princess Charlotte outside church in Sandringham on day of her baptism.
Tongue and lip tie can lead to many problems for babies - and their parents. Here are the signs of tongue tie and how it's treated.
My daughter may be small, but it's my job as her parent to refocus back where it belongs - on who she is as a person
The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.
Love may have won, but it came with quite the wait.
The family of missing boy William Tyrrell will mark his fourth birthday on Friday making a cake to share with friends and family as NSW police renewed their public appeal for information on his disappearance.
A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.
Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.
My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.
Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.
This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.
The happily ever after Nicola Milan had imagined wasn't to be – and she blames her mother-in-law.
Choosing a name for your little bundle of joy is always a major decision. It can be something traditional, trendy, creative … or inspired by the menu of your favourite chain restaurant.
It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.
Over a 10-year period, 83 children died from domestic violence abuse in NSW, with three quarters of the victims aged five years or under, the NSW Ombudsman has revealed.
Dr Katie Heathershaw answers questions about jumping, toe walking, riding a bike and being pigeon toed.
From the moment that I fell pregnant with my son, I realised just how much my life had already started to change.
"I was terrified I would always be this way. The pill needs to come with a much higher warning."
Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.
When it comes to newborn photoshoots, it is all about the timing.
Former All Black Jerry Collins' critically injured orphaned daughter has awoken from her coma and is able to bottle-feed.
One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.
Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.
The Studio host Sarah Harris doesn't mind if her first baby is a boy or girl, but she does hope it is born with one thing in particular.
Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.
From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.
While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.
Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.
A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.
Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".
Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.
The uncle of the seven-year-old girl at the centre of the brawl at child's birthday party in Sydney's west has described the events leading up to the alarming show of violence.
More often than not, you'll read that screen time for children should be kept to a minimum - but some scientists are now challenging this way of thinking.
Natalie Reilly describes three main types of conversations mothers have. And, surprise, they're not all about kids.
A baby's smell, the noises it makes and even its gaze can contribute to the potential for a dog attack.
It was meant to be a tasteful cake to help celebrate a three-year-old's christening.
How many times have you been warned about all the sleepless nights you have to 'look forward to' when you become a parent?
A police officer arrived at a devastating scene on Thursday: a car crash resulting in all passengers being thrown from the vehicle.
Want to open the boardroom doors for women? Encourage - heck, praise - dads who stay home with their children.
Just two days after giving birth, actor Alec Balwin's wife posted a post-baby picture on social media.
Compliance is part of the parent-child relationship, but so is resistance. It's all natural.
The Baird government will include $22.8 million in Tuesday's NSW budget to expand a program designed to help parents at risk of postnatal depression (PND).
I'm really lucky to have two great kids, but I found it really tough with so much being aimed at the mothers and not the fathers.
Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.