Jump to content

Is this rude?
Dad at party


  • Please log in to reply
49 replies to this topic

#1 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:43 AM

I took my DS to a kids party yesterday and the parents were sitting at a table chatting along with the birthday boys mum.  At first I thought the dad wasn't there, until I noticed him sitting around the corner from us with another dad, ok, maybe he is shy.  While the kids were having their food, he walked past us all, with 2 beers in his hands and took them over to the other dad and they proceeded to drink and chat.  The other dad came over later and sat with us, but the birthday boys dad came no where near us.

I personally find this extremely rude behaviour, I think he could of come over and said hello to everyone?  And as for the beers, well, I don't drink beer and I don't expect anything when I go to a kids party, but there were 2 other dads there, who certainly didn't get offered a beer!

Am I wrong?

#2 robot sm

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:44 AM

Seems pretty rude to me!

#3 dimensionk

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:46 AM

Rude. And weird.

#4 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:50 AM

I think it's odd. Even my extremely shy, socially awkward DH can manage the good manners to greet and chat with guests.

#5 CheekyBuggers

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:55 AM

Yeah my dh is abit weird but he still helped me run ds's bday party. The fact he didn't include all the dads sounds he was rude

#6 jessie123

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:57 AM

Yeah its rude.

Were the woman not allowed to drink the beer original.gif

Edited by jessie123, 03 December 2012 - 11:57 AM.


#7 solongsuckers

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:01 PM

I actually really wouldn't care. I wouldn't think it was rude.

#8 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 03/12/2012, 12:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Probably as rude as posting about it on a public forum.


So everybody that posts about their SIL, MIL, Bridezillas are all rude?? I thought that's what public forums are for?

#9 HappyWomble

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:09 PM

cstar - are the parents together? He could have been avoiding the mothers to avoid a scene or awkwardness.

#10 Missy Shelby

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:13 PM

Really I don't think it is totally rude, maybe a bit rude but certainly something that I wouldn't put much of a bleep on my radar.

What is your sons relationship to the party boy?  If it is just friend from kindy/school I see it as no big deal but if you were the party boys aunty well that is a different story.

#11 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:13 PM

to be honest, I wouldn't have thought too much about it.  Lots of family dynamics that I don't know about and don't want to know about.  Who knows what's happening in the family.

#12 Awesome101

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:21 PM

Meh  shrug.gif Who really cares.

Did you say hi to him? Thank him for having you all in his home? Maybe your rude.

Perhaps he didn't want a kids party at his (their) house and the compromise was that his wife/partner would do all the hosting and he would just stay out of the way.

#13 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:24 PM

I didn't realise posting this would mean I'm hung up on it.

But yes, I found it rude, you have invited people to your childs birthday party, I think the least you can do is say hello to the parent who has brought them along, it's just not that hard.  What difference does it make if I know him personally or not?

#14 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:28 PM

QUOTE (Awesome101 @ 03/12/2012, 12:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Meh  shrug.gif Who really cares.

Did you say hi to him? Thank him for having you all in his home? Maybe your rude.

Perhaps he didn't want a kids party at his (their) house and the compromise was that his wife/partner would do all the hosting and he would just stay out of the way.



The party wasn't at their home and I didn't realise who he was until later.  And even if he did have to compromise with his wife, shouldn't he still make people feel welcome?

#15 solongsuckers

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:43 PM

QUOTE (cstar @ 03/12/2012, 01:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The party wasn't at their home and I didn't realise who he was until later.  And even if he did have to compromise with his wife, shouldn't he still make people feel welcome?


Were you made to feel unwelcome? If you didn't find out who he was at all would you still care?

Of all the bday parties my DS has gone to this year I think the dads only spoke to us at one. Didn't think anything of it.

#16 protart roflcoptor

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:45 PM

It certainly wouldn't have impacted on my day, or played on my mind to the extent I had to ask randoms on the www what they thought.



#17 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:45 PM

I wouldn't care less to be honest. I am quite shy around complete strangers and find making small talk in social situations like that stressful. Maybe he's the same? Maybe he and the child's mother are estranged? Maybe he has a mental illness? Maybe he's just a jerk? Whatever it is, I wouldn't be bothered.

#18 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:48 PM

Once I realised who he was and at one stage came close to where we were sitting to throw something in the bin, he looked at us, turned and walked away to go and sit elsewhere, yes I felt rather awkward afterwards.  

Like I said, I was just wondering what others thought, obviously not everyone thinks he was rude.  In my opinion, he was.



#19 jessie123

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:48 PM

I think its less weird now that you have said you were not at their house. Not necessarily rude but not the greatest hosting skills.

#20 TheGreenSheep

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:50 PM

Wouldn't worry me. My DH can be shy and awkward. But I'd be more annoyed if it was our DSs party that he wasn't involved.

#21 MrsLexiK

Posted 03 December 2012 - 01:01 PM

QUOTE (YodaTheWrinkledOne @ 03/12/2012, 01:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
to be honest, I wouldn't have thought too much about it. Lots of family dynamics that I don't know about and don't want to know about. Who knows what's happening in the family.


This would have been my first thought.  I would have just assumed something going on between parents.

#22 tickledpink72

Posted 03 December 2012 - 01:08 PM

Incredibly rude.  I would be disgusted in my DH if he acted like that.

#23 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 03 December 2012 - 02:02 PM

QUOTE (cstar @ 03/12/2012, 12:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The party wasn't at their home and I didn't realise who he was until later.  And even if he did have to compromise with his wife, shouldn't he still make people feel welcome?

Did he actually make you feel unwelcome by his actions and comments?  Or did you feel unwelcome because once you figured out who he was, you felt that he should have come over and done some small inane chit-chat and because he didn't make that effort, you made a conscious decision that his lack of interaction meant he was being unwelcoming & blatantly rude?  (Hope that makes sense)

Just because he didn't do what you expected, doesn't necessarily mean that he was deliberating trying to be rude or unwelcoming to you or others.

There may be a multitude of reasons why he didn't engage in chit-chat with people he didn't know.  Or probably knows he won't see again (at least not on a regular basis) That doesn't mean he was deliberately trying to snub you and was being rude about it.

QUOTE (ossim roflcopter @ 03/12/2012, 12:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It certainly wouldn't have impacted on my day, or played on my mind to the extent I had to ask randoms on the www what they thought.

same here.

#24 Diamond~Sky~Lucy

Posted 03 December 2012 - 02:04 PM

I personally wouldn't care, and wouldn't think it was rude.  I take my children to many kids parties, and often struggle to work out who the parents actually are.  (Although I usually assume this is because they are running about like blue-a*sed flies and are too busy to identify themselves and/or have not realised they haven't greeted me) - anyway, for whatever reason, I don't necessarily expect to be greeted by one parent, let alone two parents.

As pp mentioned, I would probably assume that he was extremely uncomfortable for some reason. Perhaps the parents were not together therefore he did not see himself as the "host".  Something similar at my daughters third birthday earlier this year, when her dad came along (as we are attempting to co-parent).  The reality is that this type of situation is EXTREMELY difficult as there is no real etiquette, and frankly I was quite happy that he pretty much kept himself busy in the kitchen rather than mingling.

#25 Guest_Maybelle_*

Posted 03 December 2012 - 02:07 PM

This could be about someone close to me.  He cannot help it.  I get why people judge the behaviour, but he can't behave any differently.  Just being at the party is difficult enough.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

Toddler freed after getting trapped in escalator

A shopping centre escalator needed to be pulled apart to free a toddler's trapped hand.

Why I'm kind of excited about my daughter's nits

Is it weird to say that I am secretly thrilled to find that my daughter Edie has nits?

Baby born at 10:11 on 12-13-14

Well, it's actually 13-12-14 to us over here. But still, Clare Elizabeth Keane's consecutive numerical birth time is pretty special.

On holding tightly and loving fiercely

We can't live in fear. This post is about Christmas and how at this time we should be celebrating life and grateful for what we have: our loved ones who we cherish fiercely.

Babies, relatives and coping with Christmas day

Everyone will love your baby but your baby may not be so happy to be passed around a lot of new people - nor may you want to feed with an audience.

Why I won't be posting pictures of my baby on Facebook

There are pros and cons to this policy.

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.