Jump to content

Is this rude?
Dad at party


  • Please log in to reply
48 replies to this topic

#1 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:43 AM

I took my DS to a kids party yesterday and the parents were sitting at a table chatting along with the birthday boys mum.  At first I thought the dad wasn't there, until I noticed him sitting around the corner from us with another dad, ok, maybe he is shy.  While the kids were having their food, he walked past us all, with 2 beers in his hands and took them over to the other dad and they proceeded to drink and chat.  The other dad came over later and sat with us, but the birthday boys dad came no where near us.

I personally find this extremely rude behaviour, I think he could of come over and said hello to everyone?  And as for the beers, well, I don't drink beer and I don't expect anything when I go to a kids party, but there were 2 other dads there, who certainly didn't get offered a beer!

Am I wrong?

#2 robot sm

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:44 AM

Seems pretty rude to me!

#3 dimensionk

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:46 AM

Rude. And weird.

#4 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:50 AM

I think it's odd. Even my extremely shy, socially awkward DH can manage the good manners to greet and chat with guests.

#5 CheekyBuggers

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:55 AM

Yeah my dh is abit weird but he still helped me run ds's bday party. The fact he didn't include all the dads sounds he was rude

#6 jessie123

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:57 AM

Yeah its rude.

Were the woman not allowed to drink the beer original.gif

Edited by jessie123, 03 December 2012 - 11:57 AM.


#7 solongsuckers

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:01 PM

I actually really wouldn't care. I wouldn't think it was rude.

#8 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 03/12/2012, 12:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Probably as rude as posting about it on a public forum.


So everybody that posts about their SIL, MIL, Bridezillas are all rude?? I thought that's what public forums are for?

#9 HappyWomble

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:09 PM

cstar - are the parents together? He could have been avoiding the mothers to avoid a scene or awkwardness.

#10 Missy Shelby

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:13 PM

Really I don't think it is totally rude, maybe a bit rude but certainly something that I wouldn't put much of a bleep on my radar.

What is your sons relationship to the party boy?  If it is just friend from kindy/school I see it as no big deal but if you were the party boys aunty well that is a different story.

#11 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:13 PM

to be honest, I wouldn't have thought too much about it.  Lots of family dynamics that I don't know about and don't want to know about.  Who knows what's happening in the family.

#12 Awesome101

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:21 PM

Meh  shrug.gif Who really cares.

Did you say hi to him? Thank him for having you all in his home? Maybe your rude.

Perhaps he didn't want a kids party at his (their) house and the compromise was that his wife/partner would do all the hosting and he would just stay out of the way.

#13 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:24 PM

I didn't realise posting this would mean I'm hung up on it.

But yes, I found it rude, you have invited people to your childs birthday party, I think the least you can do is say hello to the parent who has brought them along, it's just not that hard.  What difference does it make if I know him personally or not?

#14 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:28 PM

QUOTE (Awesome101 @ 03/12/2012, 12:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Meh  shrug.gif Who really cares.

Did you say hi to him? Thank him for having you all in his home? Maybe your rude.

Perhaps he didn't want a kids party at his (their) house and the compromise was that his wife/partner would do all the hosting and he would just stay out of the way.



The party wasn't at their home and I didn't realise who he was until later.  And even if he did have to compromise with his wife, shouldn't he still make people feel welcome?

#15 solongsuckers

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:43 PM

QUOTE (cstar @ 03/12/2012, 01:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The party wasn't at their home and I didn't realise who he was until later.  And even if he did have to compromise with his wife, shouldn't he still make people feel welcome?


Were you made to feel unwelcome? If you didn't find out who he was at all would you still care?

Of all the bday parties my DS has gone to this year I think the dads only spoke to us at one. Didn't think anything of it.

#16 protart roflcoptor

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:45 PM

It certainly wouldn't have impacted on my day, or played on my mind to the extent I had to ask randoms on the www what they thought.



#17 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:45 PM

I wouldn't care less to be honest. I am quite shy around complete strangers and find making small talk in social situations like that stressful. Maybe he's the same? Maybe he and the child's mother are estranged? Maybe he has a mental illness? Maybe he's just a jerk? Whatever it is, I wouldn't be bothered.

#18 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:48 PM

Once I realised who he was and at one stage came close to where we were sitting to throw something in the bin, he looked at us, turned and walked away to go and sit elsewhere, yes I felt rather awkward afterwards.  

Like I said, I was just wondering what others thought, obviously not everyone thinks he was rude.  In my opinion, he was.



#19 jessie123

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:48 PM

I think its less weird now that you have said you were not at their house. Not necessarily rude but not the greatest hosting skills.

#20 TheGreenSheep

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:50 PM

Wouldn't worry me. My DH can be shy and awkward. But I'd be more annoyed if it was our DSs party that he wasn't involved.

#21 MrsLexiK

Posted 03 December 2012 - 01:01 PM

QUOTE (YodaTheWrinkledOne @ 03/12/2012, 01:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
to be honest, I wouldn't have thought too much about it. Lots of family dynamics that I don't know about and don't want to know about. Who knows what's happening in the family.


This would have been my first thought.  I would have just assumed something going on between parents.

#22 tickledpink72

Posted 03 December 2012 - 01:08 PM

Incredibly rude.  I would be disgusted in my DH if he acted like that.

#23 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 03 December 2012 - 02:02 PM

QUOTE (cstar @ 03/12/2012, 12:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The party wasn't at their home and I didn't realise who he was until later.  And even if he did have to compromise with his wife, shouldn't he still make people feel welcome?

Did he actually make you feel unwelcome by his actions and comments?  Or did you feel unwelcome because once you figured out who he was, you felt that he should have come over and done some small inane chit-chat and because he didn't make that effort, you made a conscious decision that his lack of interaction meant he was being unwelcoming & blatantly rude?  (Hope that makes sense)

Just because he didn't do what you expected, doesn't necessarily mean that he was deliberating trying to be rude or unwelcoming to you or others.

There may be a multitude of reasons why he didn't engage in chit-chat with people he didn't know.  Or probably knows he won't see again (at least not on a regular basis) That doesn't mean he was deliberately trying to snub you and was being rude about it.

QUOTE (ossim roflcopter @ 03/12/2012, 12:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It certainly wouldn't have impacted on my day, or played on my mind to the extent I had to ask randoms on the www what they thought.

same here.

#24 Diamond~Sky~Lucy

Posted 03 December 2012 - 02:04 PM

I personally wouldn't care, and wouldn't think it was rude.  I take my children to many kids parties, and often struggle to work out who the parents actually are.  (Although I usually assume this is because they are running about like blue-a*sed flies and are too busy to identify themselves and/or have not realised they haven't greeted me) - anyway, for whatever reason, I don't necessarily expect to be greeted by one parent, let alone two parents.

As pp mentioned, I would probably assume that he was extremely uncomfortable for some reason. Perhaps the parents were not together therefore he did not see himself as the "host".  Something similar at my daughters third birthday earlier this year, when her dad came along (as we are attempting to co-parent).  The reality is that this type of situation is EXTREMELY difficult as there is no real etiquette, and frankly I was quite happy that he pretty much kept himself busy in the kitchen rather than mingling.

#25 Guest_Maybelle_*

Posted 03 December 2012 - 02:07 PM

This could be about someone close to me.  He cannot help it.  I get why people judge the behaviour, but he can't behave any differently.  Just being at the party is difficult enough.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

5 workplace lessons for new parents

Take heart in these principles that will transfer seamlessly from the workplace into your new life as a parent.

Review: The Volvo 2015 XC90 SUV has all the safety features your family needs

The new Volvo XC90 SUV's focus on keeping you safe does not come at the expense of comfort in the XC90.

Kim Kardashian reveals she may have hysterectomy

Kim Kardashian has revealed complications during pregnancy means she might have to have a hysterectomy after the birth of her second child.

Why late night snacks wreak havoc on weight loss

 Loath as you may be to admit it, chances are that at some point you have found yourself in the kitchen late at night, devouring food.

Toddler twins pretend to be asleep to fool mum

They say twins have a unique connection. If this cute clip is anything to go by, these toddler sisters like to use their special bond to try to fool their mother.

Dads who do their share have more sex: study

For women trying to encourage their partners to take more interest in fatherhood, it could be the ultimate incentive.

Think you might have IBS, coeliac disease or Crohn's? Here's what you need to know

Conditions affecting the gastrointestinal tract are common in modern humans, and many are on the rise - including irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and coeliac disease.

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer.

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

When your toddler disagrees

There comes a time when your child starts having different views to you. I didn't realise that time would come so soon.

The exercises you know you should be doing (but probably aren't)

I bet your to-do list today is long. But somewhere on that massive list, are you making time for your pelvic floor?

How did we have babies before apps came along?

Three months ago, my wife, Chrysta, and I were driving along Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles when she let out a harrowing cry.

This baby really loves the family cat

Some babies get excited when mum or dad come to get them from their cot after a nap.

Woman gives birth after having her own mother's uterus transplanted

In a world first, a healthy baby has been born from the same womb that nurtured his own mother.

Home brand foods contain less salt than pricier rivals

Supermarket home brand foods, long derided as cheap and inferior, contain far lower levels of salt than pricier, branded rivals, new research shows.

Early exposure to peanuts recommended for allergy prevention

A paediatricians' group is recommending that infants at high risk of peanut allergies be given foods containing peanuts before they turn one.

Nannies for hire, wherever you're flying

Ever dreaded the prospect of a long flight, dreaming about how wonderful it would be for a nanny to entertain the kids?

Is it okay to name your baby with a sense of humour?

My husband was sure that Danger was a good option for a boy. And as the pregnancy progressed, it actually started to sound really good.

So hot right now: double-barrelled baby names on the rise

It's one way to make your baby stand out from the pack – giving them not one, but two first names.

Second time around: is it really better the devil you know?

When I fell pregnant with my second child I was, naturally, very excited. Then it all started to come back to me - and I freaked.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The worst 20 minutes of my life

Thirty seconds was all it took to turn a shopping trip into my worst nightmare.

Top baby names for England and Wales in 2014

George has overtaken William in the official rankings of most popular British baby names - and Game of Thrones is still having an impact on parents.

Baseball or baby? Dad's tough choice

What's more important, a baby or a baseball? That's a question this dad seems to struggle with.

Childbirth choices: five star or free?

It's not often you hear the words labour and luxury in the same sentence but for some, a 5-star start to parenthood is exactly what they seek. And with a number of private hospitals now offering packages which include a post-birth stay at a sumptuous first class resort, many mums are choosing to recover in style.

'Where did your boobies go, Mummy?' and other soul-destroying comments from kids

Most women carry a smidge of baby weight after giving birth. If you're lucky enough to have an older child in the house, they can keep you on track with your weight loss goals.

Do you read me, baby?

Is it too soon to be reading to my two-month-old son? If not, what should I read?

Minimising sibling rivalry when you've got a baby

Sibling rivalry is an act of competition, but if your children feel involved and special, this type of jealousy will be minimised.

Will studying on maternity leave take you away from your most important job?

I remember when I was trying to decide if I could combine motherhood and furthering my university education.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

Preschooler hit by car shortly after baby brother's death

A mother has had a frantic race to the hospital after her daughter was hit by a car, just four weeks after her infant son died.

Gay couple and Thai surrogate in custody tug-of-war

A six-month-old baby girl is trapped in the Thai capital in a bitter custody wrangle between her Thai surrogate mother and her biological father.

Couple denied IVF over parenting concerns

A mother of six has been denied access to IVF treatment in order to have another child over concerns about her parenting skills.

The book that promises to put your children to sleep

Exhausted parents from around the world are singing the praises of a "miracle" book which promises to put even the most restless child to sleep in just minutes.

5 things every parent who feels guilty needs to know

Parenthood can make you feel bad, but you're not alone.

Royals criticise 'dangerous' attempts to photograph Prince George

The British royal family criticized paparazzi on Friday for what it called their increasingly dangerous attempts to photograph young Prince George.

'No jab, no play' rule to cover Victorian kindergartens and childcare centres

"Anti-vaxxers" face not being able to send their children to childcare centres or kindergarten if they refuse to have them immunised.

15,000 birthing kits on their way to developing countries

Giving birth in a hospital surrounded by medical experts is tough enough, but some women deliver babies without a clean sheet to lie on.

Photo of premmie 'too graphic', fundraising site says

When their son Jacob was born at just 27 weeks, Christina and Jeff Hinks were thrown into an uncertain world.

The latest Bugaboo collections: cool chevron and runner prams

Bugaboo sure likes to keep things fresh, and with the Australian spring/summer season coming up, there are two new Bugaboo pram releases.

Making room for two in the bed

Mum's room or their own room? Cot or bassinets? Deciding where twins will sleep can be tricky.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Sydney!

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.