Jump to content

Is this rude?
Dad at party


  • Please log in to reply
49 replies to this topic

#1 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:43 AM

I took my DS to a kids party yesterday and the parents were sitting at a table chatting along with the birthday boys mum.  At first I thought the dad wasn't there, until I noticed him sitting around the corner from us with another dad, ok, maybe he is shy.  While the kids were having their food, he walked past us all, with 2 beers in his hands and took them over to the other dad and they proceeded to drink and chat.  The other dad came over later and sat with us, but the birthday boys dad came no where near us.

I personally find this extremely rude behaviour, I think he could of come over and said hello to everyone?  And as for the beers, well, I don't drink beer and I don't expect anything when I go to a kids party, but there were 2 other dads there, who certainly didn't get offered a beer!

Am I wrong?

#2 robot sm

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:44 AM

Seems pretty rude to me!

#3 dimensionk

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:46 AM

Rude. And weird.

#4 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:50 AM

I think it's odd. Even my extremely shy, socially awkward DH can manage the good manners to greet and chat with guests.

#5 CheekyBuggers

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:55 AM

Yeah my dh is abit weird but he still helped me run ds's bday party. The fact he didn't include all the dads sounds he was rude

#6 jessie123

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:57 AM

Yeah its rude.

Were the woman not allowed to drink the beer original.gif

Edited by jessie123, 03 December 2012 - 11:57 AM.


#7 solongsuckers

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:01 PM

I actually really wouldn't care. I wouldn't think it was rude.

#8 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:07 PM

QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 03/12/2012, 12:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Probably as rude as posting about it on a public forum.


So everybody that posts about their SIL, MIL, Bridezillas are all rude?? I thought that's what public forums are for?

#9 HappyWomble

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:09 PM

cstar - are the parents together? He could have been avoiding the mothers to avoid a scene or awkwardness.

#10 Missy Shelby

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:13 PM

Really I don't think it is totally rude, maybe a bit rude but certainly something that I wouldn't put much of a bleep on my radar.

What is your sons relationship to the party boy?  If it is just friend from kindy/school I see it as no big deal but if you were the party boys aunty well that is a different story.

#11 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:13 PM

to be honest, I wouldn't have thought too much about it.  Lots of family dynamics that I don't know about and don't want to know about.  Who knows what's happening in the family.

#12 Awesome101

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:21 PM

Meh  shrug.gif Who really cares.

Did you say hi to him? Thank him for having you all in his home? Maybe your rude.

Perhaps he didn't want a kids party at his (their) house and the compromise was that his wife/partner would do all the hosting and he would just stay out of the way.

#13 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:24 PM

I didn't realise posting this would mean I'm hung up on it.

But yes, I found it rude, you have invited people to your childs birthday party, I think the least you can do is say hello to the parent who has brought them along, it's just not that hard.  What difference does it make if I know him personally or not?

#14 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:28 PM

QUOTE (Awesome101 @ 03/12/2012, 12:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Meh  shrug.gif Who really cares.

Did you say hi to him? Thank him for having you all in his home? Maybe your rude.

Perhaps he didn't want a kids party at his (their) house and the compromise was that his wife/partner would do all the hosting and he would just stay out of the way.



The party wasn't at their home and I didn't realise who he was until later.  And even if he did have to compromise with his wife, shouldn't he still make people feel welcome?

#15 solongsuckers

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:43 PM

QUOTE (cstar @ 03/12/2012, 01:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The party wasn't at their home and I didn't realise who he was until later.  And even if he did have to compromise with his wife, shouldn't he still make people feel welcome?


Were you made to feel unwelcome? If you didn't find out who he was at all would you still care?

Of all the bday parties my DS has gone to this year I think the dads only spoke to us at one. Didn't think anything of it.

#16 protart roflcoptor

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:45 PM

It certainly wouldn't have impacted on my day, or played on my mind to the extent I had to ask randoms on the www what they thought.



#17 FeralProudSwahili

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:45 PM

I wouldn't care less to be honest. I am quite shy around complete strangers and find making small talk in social situations like that stressful. Maybe he's the same? Maybe he and the child's mother are estranged? Maybe he has a mental illness? Maybe he's just a jerk? Whatever it is, I wouldn't be bothered.

#18 cstar

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:48 PM

Once I realised who he was and at one stage came close to where we were sitting to throw something in the bin, he looked at us, turned and walked away to go and sit elsewhere, yes I felt rather awkward afterwards.  

Like I said, I was just wondering what others thought, obviously not everyone thinks he was rude.  In my opinion, he was.



#19 jessie123

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:48 PM

I think its less weird now that you have said you were not at their house. Not necessarily rude but not the greatest hosting skills.

#20 TheGreenSheep

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:50 PM

Wouldn't worry me. My DH can be shy and awkward. But I'd be more annoyed if it was our DSs party that he wasn't involved.

#21 MrsLexiK

Posted 03 December 2012 - 01:01 PM

QUOTE (YodaTheWrinkledOne @ 03/12/2012, 01:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
to be honest, I wouldn't have thought too much about it. Lots of family dynamics that I don't know about and don't want to know about. Who knows what's happening in the family.


This would have been my first thought.  I would have just assumed something going on between parents.

#22 tickledpink72

Posted 03 December 2012 - 01:08 PM

Incredibly rude.  I would be disgusted in my DH if he acted like that.

#23 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 03 December 2012 - 02:02 PM

QUOTE (cstar @ 03/12/2012, 12:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The party wasn't at their home and I didn't realise who he was until later.  And even if he did have to compromise with his wife, shouldn't he still make people feel welcome?

Did he actually make you feel unwelcome by his actions and comments?  Or did you feel unwelcome because once you figured out who he was, you felt that he should have come over and done some small inane chit-chat and because he didn't make that effort, you made a conscious decision that his lack of interaction meant he was being unwelcoming & blatantly rude?  (Hope that makes sense)

Just because he didn't do what you expected, doesn't necessarily mean that he was deliberating trying to be rude or unwelcoming to you or others.

There may be a multitude of reasons why he didn't engage in chit-chat with people he didn't know.  Or probably knows he won't see again (at least not on a regular basis) That doesn't mean he was deliberately trying to snub you and was being rude about it.

QUOTE (ossim roflcopter @ 03/12/2012, 12:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It certainly wouldn't have impacted on my day, or played on my mind to the extent I had to ask randoms on the www what they thought.

same here.

#24 Diamond~Sky~Lucy

Posted 03 December 2012 - 02:04 PM

I personally wouldn't care, and wouldn't think it was rude.  I take my children to many kids parties, and often struggle to work out who the parents actually are.  (Although I usually assume this is because they are running about like blue-a*sed flies and are too busy to identify themselves and/or have not realised they haven't greeted me) - anyway, for whatever reason, I don't necessarily expect to be greeted by one parent, let alone two parents.

As pp mentioned, I would probably assume that he was extremely uncomfortable for some reason. Perhaps the parents were not together therefore he did not see himself as the "host".  Something similar at my daughters third birthday earlier this year, when her dad came along (as we are attempting to co-parent).  The reality is that this type of situation is EXTREMELY difficult as there is no real etiquette, and frankly I was quite happy that he pretty much kept himself busy in the kitchen rather than mingling.

#25 Guest_Maybelle_*

Posted 03 December 2012 - 02:07 PM

This could be about someone close to me.  He cannot help it.  I get why people judge the behaviour, but he can't behave any differently.  Just being at the party is difficult enough.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

A mum's tragic battle against inflammatory breast cancer

At just 37 years of age, with two young sons, Vicki was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. Now her family wants all women to know the symptoms.

The business of babies around the world

Pregnancy and birth is an intriguing process no matter where you are in the world. One soon-to-be father gleans wisdom from a new guide.

Finding a positive path through IVF

It’s not surprising that IVF is often seen as a negative journey towards the ultimate positive, but having a glass-half-full approach can make a big difference to the experience.

Giving strangers the gift of parenthood

A mum explains why she and her husband are choosing to gift their leftover embryos to help strangers achieve their dream of parenthood.

Does morning sickness get better or worse with each child?

Just as every baby is unique, so is every pregnancy. And that means morning sickness can vary a lot, too.

What's so wrong with looking 'mumsy', anyway?

Why is it that the word ‘mumsy’ has connotations of such a negative nature – but seems to be the only other option apart from ‘yummy’?

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss, as it involves toilet talk. But it needs to be talked about.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.