Jump to content

Do you find this rude/odd/ or not fussed?


  • Please log in to reply
72 replies to this topic

#1 citylife

Posted 03 December 2012 - 05:54 AM

BIL,SIL and 2 kids coming from Interstate (Tassie)  for Family Christmas.

Family lunch at my parents so to BIL it is SIL parents

BIL asks his brother (my DH) if two friends of his can drop in to my parents Christmas Day

BIL arrives here 16th December and leaves 3rd January

Do you find this weird? Rude?

BIL staying with his parents and sister who obviously know these friends where as no one else on the day will. Surely he can organise for friends to go visit at his parents house before lunch or in the evening or Christmas Eve. BIL parents live 15 mins from this couple

I personally was dumb founded as to why you would ask that a couple  my family doesn't know can drop in to their house. It is not like this couple are going away or anything and BIL has already organised 3 specific outings with them whilst here.

Thoughts????

How/what would you say to say No????

#2 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:06 AM

Are they Christmas "orphans" in that they have no family where you are?  Or have their kids at the ex's or recently bereaved or something and will be upset/lonely.    In those situations it would be nice to include them in a family Christmas.  

Otherwise yes a bit odd.

#3 SilverSky

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:08 AM

Maybe a tad weird but I think it would be ruder to say no, they can't come. We've often had random people at Christmas lunch, friends of family members who didn't have their family close by.

#4 MrsLexiK

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:08 AM

I wouldn't find it odd my grandpa will invite his neighbour to my aunts for Christmas. I think the fact you are asking BIL may feel a bit odd at your place so is asking a friend to come around. Either way it wouldn't bother me - the more the merrier an all that jazz original.gif

#5 cinnabubble

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:08 AM

It would p*ss me off, but I'm a huge grinch.

#6 Futureself

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:08 AM

I agree that it is odd. All I can think is this couple, the friends, don't have family or Christmas day plans themselves so your BIL wants to bring them into your family celebrations to make their day happier?

#7 ajo

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:11 AM

It's Christmas, as long as they have somewhere nice to go that's all that matters, as we live rural and many ppl don't have family here it's not unusual for us to have extras, even ppl I didn't know have come to my place for Xmas in the past.

#8 Shanski

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:18 AM

I don't think it is odd at all. You did say he asked if they could "drop in" so to me it doesn't sound like he has invited them for the full sit down family dinner.

In our family christmas day is a celebration with friends and family and our house is always open to people "dropping in" at any time of the day.

Embrace the new couple and who knows you might even like them more than your family. Unless you are worried about how the famliy will behave? ph34r.gif

#9 Lagom

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:18 AM

Maybe you might make some new friends?  I'm in the more the merrier camp but I don't expect everyone would feel that way.  
Although, on reflection the celebration is being held at your parent's home and not yours.  I probably would feel a bit weird sayng to my parents that my BIL's friends were coming over, especially if they were going to be eating and drinking.  I don't think they would mind but yes,  a llittle odd unless as PPs say they are Christmas 'orphans.'  We always have a few randoms every Christmas because that's just how we roll.  biggrin.gif

#10 Eirinn

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:18 AM

It wouldn't bother me, but then I've been in the position of the friends. A couple of years ago, DD2 was due on Christmas Day, so we couldn't travel interstate for our usual family Christmas. My lovely friend invited us to her family Christmas. We went from feeling lonely and sorry for ourselves to having a great Christmas, which we will always remember.  wub.gif

#11 citylife

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:20 AM

Definitely not Christmas orphans this couple have family siblings cousins etc

They are also seeing them the day after

BIL won't feel weird at my parents house he has had many Christmasses there with his parents  and pre his wife and children

It is something I wouldn't do if the reverse I would not ask if a friend of mine can drop in to my in laws place on Christmas day espcecially knowing that no one knows my friend except me and DH

#12 Bart.

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:22 AM

It's fine, they're just dropping in.  BIL probably hasn't seen them for a long time and whilst he's in Sydney, it's a good time to see them.  Perhaps they live close by to his in-laws so it all works out as a good meeting place?

#13 citylife

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:24 AM

Besides it is not my place to say as I am not the one hosting. My parents are hosting and my parents/siblings/do not know these people. I really don't see why BIL would ask when they are seeing these people the day after and will have already seen them a few days before. The couple want to know if they can come see my BIL they are the ones who have asked

#14 MalibuZoo

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:32 AM

I'm in the not fussed camp. Even if I was hosting as long as I had enough notice to cater for extras I don't see the problem.
Ask your parents how they feel and if they would mind. Their house, their decision IMO



#15 MrsLexiK

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:33 AM

If I lived interstate there is a few people when I came back home that I would go to see every day if I could.

Just because he has been there before doesn't mean he still doesn't feel uncomfortable. Just let it go, ask your parents if it is ok. Who really cares it is not a big deal. It is Christmas.

#16 Neriah

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:35 AM

My aunt did this one Christmas. We were at my grandfathers house and my mum had just gotten out of the hospital late Christmas Eve. Last minute and with no warning my aunt invites some friends of hers over because they live nearby (I found out when they arrived at the door). None of the rest of my family knew them. Cue semi-awkward small talk before Christmas lunch. It was the first Christmas we had all been together in several years and in my grandfathers house so it was a big deal for him. They were nice enough and all but it was Christmas Day and not really the right time. Especially when everyone but my aunt and uncle were busy running around preparing lunch. They didn't stay long and it had no real impact on the day.

If I had known before they arrived at the door I may have said something politely to my aunt, but Christmas Day isn't the time to start fights, and it most certainly would of so I let it go. There wasn't really much else I could do. He has asked beforehand so you can say no. I guess it depends on the personalities involved whether or not it would be worth discussing it/ saying no. Surely he or they could visit another day and as you say he has organised to see them already. But if they do end up coming round it is unlikely that it will have a major impact on the day, in fact they may make a great addition.

I would say it is odd but not rude. I would consider either discussing it or letting it go, but not outright saying no. These friends may be really important to him and so he wants to see them on Christmas Day and living interstate he probably wants to spend as much time with them as possible. If you don't want them to come to your parents place he may leave for a few hours to go and see them on the day. Weigh up the mild awkwardness of having strangers at your parents house on Christmas Day (he should probably ask if they are ok with it too) vs his obviously strong desire to see these people.

Edited by Neriah, 03 December 2012 - 06:37 AM.


#17 Jupiter123

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:36 AM

Not odd at all, we usually have a few Christmas orphans come to our gatherings and well we have been Christmas orphans ourselves a couple of times too. The more the merrier we say.

#18 Dowager fancie

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:58 AM

QUOTE (Ferdinand @ 03/12/2012, 07:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Meh, whatever to the drop ins.

I find it far stranger for him (and his parents) to have xmas with your parents.


Me too!

Perhaps BIL really doesn't like spending time with your side of the family, OP and has invited his friends so that he gets to enjoy the company of some people he does like on Christmas Day.

Just sayin'.

#19 ///

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:58 AM

Chances are they want to exchange gifts on Christmas day. I don't find it odd, my house is always open to family and friends (and friends of family) - especially on Christmas day.

#20 citylife

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:59 AM

Why do you find it strange Ferdinand?

My parents always invite my DH parents to spend Christmas Day with them they are extended family and its great as DH and I don't have to travel between houses!


#21 citylife

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:03 AM

I think the replies are getting a little off track. There are no issues with family not getting along etc
My opinion is that I think it is rather odd that you would invite someone that no one else knows to someones house who aren't directly related to you when there is ample opportunity to see these people at numerous other times.

Think of it this way

You are going to have Christmas at your in laws this year, would you ask your in laws if a friend of yours could drop in to their house knowing the in laws don't know/have never met this person?

Answer honestly would you do it?

#22 I'm Batman

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:04 AM

No, I dont find it strange. Then again I like actually spending time with people who I see as friends. I would welcome them along to most occasions in my life if they felt the need to be there.

#23 Feral_Pooks

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:05 AM

We have an open door policy.

Also my parents and my DP's parents all get along great and we often do family stuff all together.

Eta. Come on OP, are you really gonna tell someone there is no room at the inn? just have fun and tell them to bring booze original.gif

Edited by Pooks_, 03 December 2012 - 07:06 AM.


#24 citylife

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:06 AM

Batman: They are not my friends, never will be, we never see these people as my BIL lives Interstate, his friends not mine, I have met this couple once and that was at his 40th bday and it was a passing hello.

#25 Aquarium

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:16 AM

It is a bit odd, and not something I would do, (even though I agree the more the merrier) but as long as they are not expecting lunch, then I'd go along with it. Try not to stress out about it.

Will your parents have a problem with it?





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Funny Father's Day cards

A little fun never goes astray when celebrating special occasions and Father's Day is no different. We've rounded up some funny Father's day cards for your husbands, fathers and other important men in your lives.

Electronic tags may keep newborns safe

The possibility of using electronic bracelets for mothers and their newborn babies is being investigated by Adelaide's Women's and Children's Hospital. 

Baby steps: when your little one starts walking

As a parent there are so many milestones to look forward to. That first smile, first word - and, of course, that first step.

Julia Watson's new book 'Breakfast, School Run, Chemo'

Tomorrow my friend Julia launches her first book. And while we're all overjoyed, the success is tinged with sadness. You see, Julia has stage 4 bowel cancer.

How not to name twins

Call me boring, but I don't think that when it comes to choosing my twins' names is the right time to use a good pun.

Fun Sunny Life pool inflatables just for babies

The babies of 2015 will thus be thrilled to paddle their happy baby legs in these brand new flamingo and swan baby inflatables.

Baby and bulldog born on the same day are best friends

When Chicago mum Ivette Ivens saw a French bulldog puppy who had the same birthdate as her son Dilan, she "just knew it?s meant to be" and took him home. Five months later, puppy Farley and Dilan are the best of friends - as Ivens says, "I?m pretty sure Dilan thinks they?re both the same species, as they walk at the same level and are both going through the stage of chewing on everything.?

Breastfeeding basics for beginners

Here are 10 tips to help make breastfeeding successful and stress free for both you and your baby as quickly as possible.

Girl smothers baby brother with peanut butter

This mum had a big clean up job on her hands.

How to hide those under eye shadows

Pandas are the only ones who benefit from under-eye shadows. If you're not fluffy and cute, you'll just look tired.

Young mum dies after being denied pap smear

A mother has died after she was denied a pap smear because she was deemed "too young" to need it.

Birthday cakes banned at childcare centre

A childcare centre in Sydney has banned birthday cakes after parent complaints about excessive sugar and children with allergies being left out.

Triplet surprise for newlyweds

As the radiographer moved the wand over her abdomen, Shelley King got the surprise of her life.

3 yummy Thermomix baby and toddler recipes

Louise Fulton Keats shares her recipes for babies and toddlers, including corn and sweet pikelets, pumpkin and pea risotto, and cheesy bunny biscuits.

Man arrested over toddler Nikki's death

A 31-year-old man has been arrested over the death of two-year-old Nikki Francis-Coslovich in Mildura.

Adoption ban on pregnant women to be lifted

Pregnant women will no longer be barred from adoption waiting lists in NSW, after the Baird Government decided the practice was discriminatory.

Are you getting enough magnesium?

Magnesium is the fourth most abundant mineral in the body, but we don't talk enough about it and the vital role it plays in great health and energy, as well as disease prevention.

5 workplace lessons for new parents

Take heart in these principles that will transfer seamlessly from the workplace into your new life as a parent.

Mums to follow on Instagram

A creative outlet for many, there are some savvy women complementing their blogs and businesses with riveting Instagrams feeds. We've chosen a few which have bucketloads of appeal; there are some big time players and some smaller local ones, and they each bring their special brand of magic to the Instagram experience.

Review: The Volvo 2015 XC90 SUV has all the safety features your family needs

The new Volvo XC90 SUV's focus on keeping you safe does not come at the expense of comfort in the XC90.

Kim Kardashian reveals she may have hysterectomy

Kim Kardashian has revealed complications during pregnancy means she might have to have a hysterectomy after the birth of her second child.

Why late night snacks wreak havoc on weight loss

 Loath as you may be to admit it, chances are that at some point you have found yourself in the kitchen late at night, devouring food.

Toddler twins pretend to be asleep to fool mum

They say twins have a unique connection. If this cute clip is anything to go by, these toddler sisters like to use their special bond to try to fool their mother.

Dad bags: 10 picks for out and about

Getting out of the house is a big priority in the early years of parenthood and you need to take a well-stocked kit with you. We've chosen 10 of the best nappy bags sure to appeal to dads in style and function.

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Dads who do their share have more sex: study

For women trying to encourage their partners to take more interest in fatherhood, it could be the ultimate incentive.

Think you might have IBS, coeliac disease or Crohn's?

Conditions affecting the gastrointestinal tract are common in modern humans, and many are on the rise - including irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and coeliac disease.

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer.

The exercises you know you should be doing (but probably aren't)

I bet your to-do list today is long. But somewhere on that massive list, are you making time for your pelvic floor?

This baby really loves the family cat

Some babies get excited when mum or dad come to get them from their cot after a nap.

Designer kids clothing good enough to eat by Oeuf

Even if you aren't heading to the Northern hemisphere in the next six months, you can't help but love the amazing food-themed knits for babies and kids by cult kids brand Oeuf.

Early exposure to peanuts recommended for allergy prevention

A paediatricians' group is recommending that infants at high risk of peanut allergies be given foods containing peanuts before they turn one.

Home brand foods contain less salt than pricier rivals

Supermarket home brand foods, long derided as cheap and inferior, contain far lower levels of salt than pricier, branded rivals, new research shows.

Nannies for hire, wherever you're flying

Ever dreaded the prospect of a long flight, dreaming about how wonderful it would be for a nanny to entertain the kids?

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer: with an unusual photo shoot with their 'baby', a groodle (poodle/golden retriever cross) named Humphrey. The talented Elisha from Elisha Minnette Photography caught all the precious shots.

Is it okay to name your baby with a sense of humour?

My husband was sure that Danger was a good option for a boy. And as the pregnancy progressed, it actually started to sound really good.

Woman gives birth after having her own mother's uterus transplanted

In a world first, a healthy baby has been born from the same womb that nurtured his own mother.

So hot right now: double-barrelled baby names on the rise

It's one way to make your baby stand out from the pack – giving them not one, but two first names.

Second time around: is it really better the devil you know?

When I fell pregnant with my second child I was, naturally, very excited. Then it all started to come back to me - and I freaked.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

How did we have babies before apps came along?

Three months ago, my wife, Chrysta, and I were driving along Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles when she let out a harrowing cry.

When your toddler disagrees

There comes a time when your child starts having different views to you. I didn't realise that time would come so soon.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

 

FREE TICKET

Discover the magic of the LEGOŽ DUPLOŽ Play Area in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.