Jump to content

Do you find this rude/odd/ or not fussed?


  • Please log in to reply
72 replies to this topic

#1 citylife

Posted 03 December 2012 - 05:54 AM

BIL,SIL and 2 kids coming from Interstate (Tassie)  for Family Christmas.

Family lunch at my parents so to BIL it is SIL parents

BIL asks his brother (my DH) if two friends of his can drop in to my parents Christmas Day

BIL arrives here 16th December and leaves 3rd January

Do you find this weird? Rude?

BIL staying with his parents and sister who obviously know these friends where as no one else on the day will. Surely he can organise for friends to go visit at his parents house before lunch or in the evening or Christmas Eve. BIL parents live 15 mins from this couple

I personally was dumb founded as to why you would ask that a couple  my family doesn't know can drop in to their house. It is not like this couple are going away or anything and BIL has already organised 3 specific outings with them whilst here.

Thoughts????

How/what would you say to say No????

#2 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:06 AM

Are they Christmas "orphans" in that they have no family where you are?  Or have their kids at the ex's or recently bereaved or something and will be upset/lonely.    In those situations it would be nice to include them in a family Christmas.  

Otherwise yes a bit odd.

#3 SilverSky

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:08 AM

Maybe a tad weird but I think it would be ruder to say no, they can't come. We've often had random people at Christmas lunch, friends of family members who didn't have their family close by.

#4 MrsLexiK

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:08 AM

I wouldn't find it odd my grandpa will invite his neighbour to my aunts for Christmas. I think the fact you are asking BIL may feel a bit odd at your place so is asking a friend to come around. Either way it wouldn't bother me - the more the merrier an all that jazz original.gif

#5 cinnabubble

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:08 AM

It would p*ss me off, but I'm a huge grinch.

#6 Futureself

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:08 AM

I agree that it is odd. All I can think is this couple, the friends, don't have family or Christmas day plans themselves so your BIL wants to bring them into your family celebrations to make their day happier?

#7 ajo

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:11 AM

It's Christmas, as long as they have somewhere nice to go that's all that matters, as we live rural and many ppl don't have family here it's not unusual for us to have extras, even ppl I didn't know have come to my place for Xmas in the past.

#8 Shanski

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:18 AM

I don't think it is odd at all. You did say he asked if they could "drop in" so to me it doesn't sound like he has invited them for the full sit down family dinner.

In our family christmas day is a celebration with friends and family and our house is always open to people "dropping in" at any time of the day.

Embrace the new couple and who knows you might even like them more than your family. Unless you are worried about how the famliy will behave? ph34r.gif

#9 amabanana

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:18 AM

Maybe you might make some new friends?  I'm in the more the merrier camp but I don't expect everyone would feel that way.  
Although, on reflection the celebration is being held at your parent's home and not yours.  I probably would feel a bit weird sayng to my parents that my BIL's friends were coming over, especially if they were going to be eating and drinking.  I don't think they would mind but yes,  a llittle odd unless as PPs say they are Christmas 'orphans.'  We always have a few randoms every Christmas because that's just how we roll.  biggrin.gif

#10 Eirinn

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:18 AM

It wouldn't bother me, but then I've been in the position of the friends. A couple of years ago, DD2 was due on Christmas Day, so we couldn't travel interstate for our usual family Christmas. My lovely friend invited us to her family Christmas. We went from feeling lonely and sorry for ourselves to having a great Christmas, which we will always remember.  wub.gif

#11 citylife

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:20 AM

Definitely not Christmas orphans this couple have family siblings cousins etc

They are also seeing them the day after

BIL won't feel weird at my parents house he has had many Christmasses there with his parents  and pre his wife and children

It is something I wouldn't do if the reverse I would not ask if a friend of mine can drop in to my in laws place on Christmas day espcecially knowing that no one knows my friend except me and DH

#12 Bart.

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:22 AM

It's fine, they're just dropping in.  BIL probably hasn't seen them for a long time and whilst he's in Sydney, it's a good time to see them.  Perhaps they live close by to his in-laws so it all works out as a good meeting place?

#13 citylife

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:24 AM

Besides it is not my place to say as I am not the one hosting. My parents are hosting and my parents/siblings/do not know these people. I really don't see why BIL would ask when they are seeing these people the day after and will have already seen them a few days before. The couple want to know if they can come see my BIL they are the ones who have asked

#14 MalibuZoo

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:32 AM

I'm in the not fussed camp. Even if I was hosting as long as I had enough notice to cater for extras I don't see the problem.
Ask your parents how they feel and if they would mind. Their house, their decision IMO



#15 MrsLexiK

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:33 AM

If I lived interstate there is a few people when I came back home that I would go to see every day if I could.

Just because he has been there before doesn't mean he still doesn't feel uncomfortable. Just let it go, ask your parents if it is ok. Who really cares it is not a big deal. It is Christmas.

#16 Neriah

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:35 AM

My aunt did this one Christmas. We were at my grandfathers house and my mum had just gotten out of the hospital late Christmas Eve. Last minute and with no warning my aunt invites some friends of hers over because they live nearby (I found out when they arrived at the door). None of the rest of my family knew them. Cue semi-awkward small talk before Christmas lunch. It was the first Christmas we had all been together in several years and in my grandfathers house so it was a big deal for him. They were nice enough and all but it was Christmas Day and not really the right time. Especially when everyone but my aunt and uncle were busy running around preparing lunch. They didn't stay long and it had no real impact on the day.

If I had known before they arrived at the door I may have said something politely to my aunt, but Christmas Day isn't the time to start fights, and it most certainly would of so I let it go. There wasn't really much else I could do. He has asked beforehand so you can say no. I guess it depends on the personalities involved whether or not it would be worth discussing it/ saying no. Surely he or they could visit another day and as you say he has organised to see them already. But if they do end up coming round it is unlikely that it will have a major impact on the day, in fact they may make a great addition.

I would say it is odd but not rude. I would consider either discussing it or letting it go, but not outright saying no. These friends may be really important to him and so he wants to see them on Christmas Day and living interstate he probably wants to spend as much time with them as possible. If you don't want them to come to your parents place he may leave for a few hours to go and see them on the day. Weigh up the mild awkwardness of having strangers at your parents house on Christmas Day (he should probably ask if they are ok with it too) vs his obviously strong desire to see these people.

Edited by Neriah, 03 December 2012 - 06:37 AM.


#17 Jupiter123

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:36 AM

Not odd at all, we usually have a few Christmas orphans come to our gatherings and well we have been Christmas orphans ourselves a couple of times too. The more the merrier we say.

#18 fancie

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:58 AM

QUOTE (Ferdinand @ 03/12/2012, 07:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Meh, whatever to the drop ins.

I find it far stranger for him (and his parents) to have xmas with your parents.


Me too!

Perhaps BIL really doesn't like spending time with your side of the family, OP and has invited his friends so that he gets to enjoy the company of some people he does like on Christmas Day.

Just sayin'.

#19 JECJEC

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:58 AM

Chances are they want to exchange gifts on Christmas day. I don't find it odd, my house is always open to family and friends (and friends of family) - especially on Christmas day.

#20 citylife

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:59 AM

Why do you find it strange Ferdinand?

My parents always invite my DH parents to spend Christmas Day with them they are extended family and its great as DH and I don't have to travel between houses!


#21 citylife

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:03 AM

I think the replies are getting a little off track. There are no issues with family not getting along etc
My opinion is that I think it is rather odd that you would invite someone that no one else knows to someones house who aren't directly related to you when there is ample opportunity to see these people at numerous other times.

Think of it this way

You are going to have Christmas at your in laws this year, would you ask your in laws if a friend of yours could drop in to their house knowing the in laws don't know/have never met this person?

Answer honestly would you do it?

#22 I'm Batman

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:04 AM

No, I dont find it strange. Then again I like actually spending time with people who I see as friends. I would welcome them along to most occasions in my life if they felt the need to be there.

#23 Feral_Pooks

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:05 AM

We have an open door policy.

Also my parents and my DP's parents all get along great and we often do family stuff all together.

Eta. Come on OP, are you really gonna tell someone there is no room at the inn? just have fun and tell them to bring booze original.gif

Edited by Pooks_, 03 December 2012 - 07:06 AM.


#24 citylife

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:06 AM

Batman: They are not my friends, never will be, we never see these people as my BIL lives Interstate, his friends not mine, I have met this couple once and that was at his 40th bday and it was a passing hello.

#25 Aquarium

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:16 AM

It is a bit odd, and not something I would do, (even though I agree the more the merrier) but as long as they are not expecting lunch, then I'd go along with it. Try not to stress out about it.

Will your parents have a problem with it?





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Five-year-old shoots nine-month-old brother dead

A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.

'Is that baby yours?'

She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.

Episiotomy in childbirth: not just 'a little snip'

Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.

Toddler aggression not caused by language delays after all: study

The logic was that children who don’t have the language to fully express themselves will lash out when they’re misunderstood. Not anymore.

Why we chose to adopt a child with Down sydrome

Everyone in foster care (and really in life) has something that makes them more vulnerable. We just know what our son's is.

Object of desire

Curvy mums make clever babies

Scientists appear to have discovered why women have evolved to have more curves than men – shapely thighs and bottoms lead to healthier babies.

'We'll make sure they know how much she loved them'

A first-time mum will never get to hold her four newborns, dying shortly after giving birth to the quadruplets.

The baby names NZ knocked back in 2014

A New Zealander has tried to name their baby Senior Constable but didn't get away with it - and numbering children is also a no-no.

How can you go into labour without knowing you're pregnant?

For most of us, the idea that a woman could carry a child to full-term without knowing she is pregnant is mind-boggling.

Will you get to the hospital in time?

Worrying your baby will be delivered by the roadside is a common concern for many mothers-to-be. So how likely are you to be caught short?

Video: Funny 'Lips Are Moving' parody just for mums

Meghan Trainor's song 'Lips Are Moving' was already a hit, but now it's been turned into a hilarious parody that is set to be very popular with frustrated mums everywhere.

Out with the clutter

Decluttering by the numbers: take the 30-day challenge

Forget the 5:2 diet - Twitter's 30-day declutter challenge will have your house back in shape in no time (well, a month).

Parents, don't be too hard on yourselves

We need to stop damning parents of today, and embrace their appetite for knowledge instead.

Is my baby normal?

There are chubby Buddha babies and there are thin, smaller babies. Neither are right or wrong, they are all 'normal'.

When an older sibling starts school

When one child goes to ‘big school’ and leaves the other behind, it can cause deep upset. Here's how to make the transition easier.

Stray cat saves abandoned baby

They say dogs are man's best friend, but one cat has proven felines can be just as devoted to their human companions.

How strangers are helping a mum's wish come true after her death

A mum of five, Liz Marquez wanted to breastfeed her premmie son for a year. So when she passed away suddenly, her friends - and strangers - stepped in to help.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

Win with The Boxtrolls

To celebrate the release of The Boxtrolls on 3D Blu-ray, DVD & Digital with UltraViolet, we're giving you the chance to win a Boxtroll stationary package and DVD.

 

School Term 1

Get after-school care sorted

Wait lists too long at OSHC? Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.