Jump to content

What is the funniest or weirdest thing your IL's have done.


  • Please log in to reply
108 replies to this topic

#1 strawberry blondes

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:32 AM

There are always negative threads about IL's so I want to hear all the funny things your IL's have done. Perhaps they didn't seem so funny at the time but now you see the funny side. If you have no funny stories you might have some weird ones the rest of us will find funny.

I will start! I was annoyed for 5 mins but after that I saw the funny side and now it's a running joke.

Last christmas my IL's were staying with us for 7 1/2 weeks (fun. fun, fun lol) in the last few days I was opening some icy poles with my kitchen scissors for my DD's when my oldest DD piped up " Oh they are the scissors granddad uses for his toe nails"  sick.gif  I told her not to be so silly granddad wouldn't use my kitchen scissors to cut his toe nails, there are nail clippers in the bathroom. She got a bit upset and said she wasn't lying and he did use them. IL's were outside topping up their tans before returning to the UK so I went outside laughing and told granddad what DD had said and waited for him to deny it....he didn't! He said yes a few weeks ago he used them for his toe nails but not to worry as he has rinsed them under the tap! I had been using those toe nail scissors to cut up meat!  roll2.gif

#2 katpaws

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:16 AM

After DD was born i was diagnosed with secondary infertility and it was something that i did not discuss with family, or really feel it was any of their business and my health issues were very complicated that I did not want to go through them with anyone. On one visit to us, the InLaws decided to talk to us about their infertility journey (which was odd as to stop them asking when i was going to have another baby i told them i could no longer get pregnant and to never ask me about that subject again). As Catholics in the 1960s, sperm could not be wasted. So i got to hear about how they collected sperm for the fertility testing, often it involved a spoon and collection soon after sex. By this stage i am staring daggers at DH to make them stop. But he doesn't and it gets worse. I get to hear how FiL had his sperm collected when the spoon method was not working. I got to hear how the doctor inserted his thumb into Fil's bum to make him come! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!  oomg.gif   oomg.gif   oomg.gif I don't know how the sperm was not wasted after that (don't want to know), i ran out after FiL said he came quickly, i could not take anymore. My ears! My ears! Some nights i still wake up screaming.... the spoon... the thumb   ssecret.gif

To be honest, it was a awful experience for me, one i will never get over, i still see that thumb  ohmy.gif  but it makes a good story at dinner parties.... Other people find it funny....but they weren't there when it happened...

Edited by katpaws, 03 December 2012 - 06:18 AM.


#3 missjoads1234

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:20 AM

Sorry but the second story isnt funny thats just wrong.  sick.gif Who tells people that sort of info? Thats just not right.



#4 amabanana

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:22 AM

QUOTE (katpaws @ 03/12/2012, 07:16 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
After DD was born i was diagnosed with secondary infertility and it was something that i did not discuss with family, or really feel it was any of their business and my health issues were very complicated that I did not want to go through them with anyone. On one visit to us, the InLaws decided to talk to us about their infertility journey (which was odd as to stop them asking when i was going to have another baby i told them i could no longer get pregnant and to never ask me about that subject again). As Catholics in the 1960s, sperm could not be wasted. So i got to hear about how they collected sperm for the fertility testing, often it involved a spoon and collection soon after sex. By this stage i am staring daggers at DH to make them stop. But he doesn't and it gets worse. I get to hear how FiL had his sperm collected when the spoon method was not working. I got to hear how the doctor inserted his thumb into Fil's bum to make him come! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!  oomg.gif   oomg.gif   oomg.gif I don't know how the sperm was not wasted after that (don't want to know), i ran out after FiL said he came quickly, i could not take anymore. My ears! My ears! Some nights i still wake up screaming.... the spoon... the thumb   ssecret.gif

To be honest, it was a awful experience for me, one i will never get over, i still see that thumb  ohmy.gif  but it makes a good story at dinner parties.... Other people find it funny....but they weren't there when it happened...


I'm sorry.  sad.gif

ffear.gif  Words fail me!  That is either horrifying or hilarious.  I'm not sure which.



#5 katpaws

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:24 AM

Well the OP asked for funny or weird. I don't know what category this story fits into. Horror????? I think MiL decided we were having fertility issues before DD was born so they might have been saving their "spoon" talk for a long time. I don't know why they told us... it put us off sex for a year...

Edited by katpaws, 03 December 2012 - 06:25 AM.


#6 amabanana

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:28 AM

QUOTE (katpaws @ 03/12/2012, 07:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well the OP asked for funny or weird. I don't know what category this story fits into. Horror????? I think MiL decided we were having fertility issues before DD was born so they might have been saving their "spoon" talk for a long time. I don't know why they told us... it put us off sex for a year...


Only a year?  I'm surprised you're not scarred for life.  hhugs.gif

#7 MGB

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:28 AM

QUOTE (katpaws @ 03/12/2012, 07:16 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
After DD was born i was diagnosed with secondary infertility and it was something that i did not discuss with family, or really feel it was any of their business and my health issues were very complicated that I did not want to go through them with anyone. On one visit to us, the InLaws decided to talk to us about their infertility journey (which was odd as to stop them asking when i was going to have another baby i told them i could no longer get pregnant and to never ask me about that subject again). As Catholics in the 1960s, sperm could not be wasted. So i got to hear about how they collected sperm for the fertility testing, often it involved a spoon and collection soon after sex. By this stage i am staring daggers at DH to make them stop. But he doesn't and it gets worse. I get to hear how FiL had his sperm collected when the spoon method was not working. I got to hear how the doctor inserted his thumb into Fil's bum to make him come! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!  oomg.gif   oomg.gif   oomg.gif I don't know how the sperm was not wasted after that (don't want to know), i ran out after FiL said he came quickly, i could not take anymore. My ears! My ears! Some nights i still wake up screaming.... the spoon... the thumb   ssecret.gif

To be honest, it was a awful experience for me, one i will never get over, i still see that thumb  ohmy.gif  but it makes a good story at dinner parties.... Other people find it funny....but they weren't there when it happened...



ohmy.gif That is all kinds of wrong. What did your husband say? I would be mortified if my parents spoke like that.

OP, ewww to the toenails and cutting up meat with the same scissors. laughing2.gif

Edited by Mrs Mel, 03 December 2012 - 06:30 AM.


#8 katpaws

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:35 AM

QUOTE
What did your husband say?


He was as shocked as me, he couldn't say anything. But we now have a collection of words that bring us out into fits of laughter or silent rememberance (ie "spoon" "thumb" "Christmas" "gourmet ", "agapanthus" "SIL's cat" "dingo dog" etc).

I could tell the story of my DD's first Christmas experience with the InLaws... whole different level... i got to see FiL's bottom, but that is only the tip of the iceberg of that event... gastro, crazy cat, heat wave, crazy dog...  the sea was stormy that day, my friends....

Edited by katpaws, 03 December 2012 - 06:41 AM.


#9 Dylan's Mummy

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:45 AM

When our baby was born this year my MIL gave different people different spellings of his name.

#10 Zesty

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:14 AM

My MIL never entered foot in our house. Before you jump to the wrong conclusion, it wasn't her protest of her son and I living together (even though she used to say we lived together "in de****to") as we weren't together initially and she still wouldn't come in. Apparently it was "not appropriate". Yes, that's right, not appropriate for my MIL to enter the house of her son. I believe there would be people around who would relish a MIL like that.

#11 Aquarium

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:25 AM

Katpaws that is one of the funniest things I've read on EB. Poor you, scarred for life!


#12 katpaws

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:34 AM

Aquarium, i have scars from many experiences with the ILs.



#13 Ianthe

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:38 AM

One Christmas my MIL wrapped up stuff she had around the house and gave it to people. And it wasn't good stuff to start with. It was pretty strange.

#14 Gumbette

Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:38 AM

One XMas FIL bought a second hand outdoor spa and decided we should all try it together immediately) I mean all 10 of us in something that was smaller than your average family car). It was 35 degrees, everyone was hot and sweaty and we were all meant to put swimmers on without showering first and basically sit in a warm bath together. It was so small that everybody was rubbing up on each other silently waiting to be told they were allowed to get out sick.gif FIL got very angry that I refused to get in, so much so he gave me the silent treatment for hours.  He really was a bossy thing that we miss a lot.

Ianthe, my DH's grandmother used to do that every year, problem is she had poor eyesight and didn't realise that most of the stuff she was giving away had stains on them (or maybe she did which was why she was getting rid of them).

#15 rainycat

Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:58 AM

Oh my wordylordy Katpaws ohmy.gif
You poor poor, scarred for life girl.
That made me cringe and laugh at the same time.

#16 MGB

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:04 AM

QUOTE (katpaws @ 03/12/2012, 07:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
He was as shocked as me, he couldn't say anything. But we now have a collection of words that bring us out into fits of laughter or silent rememberance (ie "spoon" "thumb" "Christmas" "gourmet ", "agapanthus" "SIL's cat" "dingo dog" etc).

I could tell the story of my DD's first Christmas experience with the InLaws... whole different level... i got to see FiL's bottom, but that is only the tip of the iceberg of that event... gastro, crazy cat, heat wave, crazy dog...  the sea was stormy that day, my friends....


Now that does sound interesting laughing2.gif

I would never be able to look at them the same again. How odd of them to discuss that much info with their son and DIL, or anyone for that matter. It does make for a laugh here though.




#17 FeralBob!

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:20 AM

Oh Katpaws, now I've got "Every Sperm is Sacred" going through my head - it's a parody song which I *think* was written by Dermot Morgan of Father Ted fame  laugh.gif

My ILs have never done anything very odd, although the last time we went to visit we managed to all lock ourselves out of the house, and the only way we could get back in again was for MIL, who is tiny, to get a lift up from DH and squeeze through the tiny window in the bedroom. Lucky she was with us, neither DH or I would have fitted laughing2.gif

#18 Katie_bella

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:37 AM

My MIL gives us the toiletry packs you get on international flights as gifts.....she also washes plastic bags (ie bread bags, vegie bags from the supermarket) in the washing machine (with the undies etc), hangs them on the line to dry and expects us to use them for food sick.gif .
Cooks everything without oil/butter or sugar but doesn't change the recipes to accomodate this.

Rings, then sits on the phone for long periods, not talking........just breathing

Refuses to come and see us over xmas because it's too dangerous to travel at xmas, but is happy for us to drive 12 hours to see them.

OMG i could go all day with this topic ....... rolleyes.gif


ETA: Jinglebob...it's a Monty Python song.....and yep, it's in my head too.

Edited by Katie_bella, 03 December 2012 - 09:39 AM.


#19 Therese

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:41 AM

You poor thing katpaws. ffear.gif

#20 Brrrroooce!

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:43 AM

When we lived in an apartment, FIL told us that living in "close quarters" with others could only lead to wife-swapping.



#21 Percoriel

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:44 AM

Oh Katpaws that is hilarous!!! So funny! (and so glad its not my in laws!!

#22 JillyJellyBean

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:44 AM

katpaws - thats a classic. Yes scarring indeed

#23 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:46 AM

My in-laws are obsessed with food being available all the time. Every event, even non-food related, requires intricate menu planning so a horrific situation where someone has to wait five minutes for food does not arise. Needless to say, my SILs and DH all struggle with their weight.

Anyway, I was driving to a restaurant with my MIL, 2 SILs and DH and my MIL asked if I was hungry. I said I was feeling peckish and looking forward to the meal, as you do. Just general light conversation. Well, this caused great consternation. Despite expecting to be at the restaurant in 10 minutes and no doubt eating in under an hour, someone was hungry. Disaster! There were numerous offers to pull into a servo so I could eat, offers to phone ahead to the restaurant so an entree could be waiting for me and finally, the great honour of being offered my MILs emergency banana which she always keeps in her handbag.

I really love my PILs but the whole food thing is weird. There is no famine in their history- they were both brought up on Australian farms and always had enough to eat.



#24 ~elle~

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:46 AM

On about the first dinner with future MIL we had to sit there and listen to her describing her 9 months of vaginal bleeding and discharge.
Over a really bad meal and no where near enough booze to blot out the night. a decade on and I'm still trying to block it from my mind.

#25 WYSIWYG

Posted 03 December 2012 - 10:03 AM

Not really something they have done, more what I have done.

I seem to have a habit of calling FIL 'babe' blush.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How I learnt to relax about routines

After many routine-led, tough years, we've realised that being parenting isn't about being perfect. It isn't about following a schedule to a T.

Should you have a third child or not?

I thought our family had been complete with our two boys. I had no idea how much I needed my daughter until she was here.

Helping a toddler embrace an adopted sibling

A single parent by choice, I am preparing to adopt a second baby from Morocco. And I face a special challenge.

When pregnancy messes with your self-esteem

Pregnancy doesn't make all women feel beautiful. It certainly doesn't raise every woman's self-esteem.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Robbie Williams live tweets wife's labour

And the award for most patient woman in labour goes to ... Robbie Williams' wife, Ayda Field.

Vaccine ignorance is deadly and contagious

In the absence of credible, strong political leadership, paranoia about disease can go viral.

Parenting differently based on birth order

All children have unique personalities, but keeping birth order in mind could help when parenting.

How to get rid of the mum guilt

Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand, but there are ways to focus

Paid parental leave scheme grinds to a halt

The future of Prime Minister Tony Abbott's paid parental leave scheme appears to be up in the air, despite the fact it is due to begin in less than nine months.

The devastation of foetal alcohol spectrum disorders

No one's sure how many Australians are affected by foetal alcohol spectrum disorders, but the consequences for those who are can be devastating.

The pros and cons of finding out the sex of your unborn baby

It’s often one of the biggest choices parents make during the course of their pregnancy; to find out, or not to find out, the sex of their baby before it’s born.

Toddler's awesome dress up month

Two-year-old Willow and her photographer mum, Gina Lee, made October "Dress Up Willow Month". She posted photos of Willow's costumes on her Instagram account, and her creative takes on popular culture are simply adorable.

Childhood around the world

It can be easy to assume our ideas around childhood are universal, but they are particular to where we live, as these practices show.

Best picks for baby and toddler shoes

Here's a great selection of footwear from pre-walker to walker ensuring comfort and style for growing feet.

I lost my wife and daughters to Ebola - then it came for my son

Sunday, September 21, is a day I will never forget.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss. It involves toilet talk, and probably caused my miscarriage. But it needs to be talked about.

Prenatal testing: the facts

Prenatal testing is done to check if a baby has certain medical conditions before birth. Here is some important information about what the tests are for and the risks involved.

5 things to do with your baby?s old clothes

Did you think your only option for your baby?s old clothes was to pack them away or give them to the Salvos? Think again.

Why it's possible to not realise you're pregnant until the baby arrives

After hearing about 'surprise babies' born to mums who didn't know they were pregnant, it's common to ask "how did she not realise?" But experts say it's entirely possible for it to happen.

'My miracle is finally here'

How has the world continued on its pace when mine has been altered so drastically?

Dairy can help older women fall pregnant: study

Ice cream may be the ultimate comfort food, but a study suggests it could also help older women to have children.

Megan Gale goes topless for 'sexiest people' cover

Six months after a heavily pregnant Megan Gale posed nude for Marie Claire, the glowing new mum has gone topless for the cover of another magazine.

A new perspective on life from living with two diseases

A mother shares her personal story about the difficulty of living with two conditions, one of which stops her from being able to see her daughter's face.

Warning about Children's Panadol dosage

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has issued a safety advisory warning parents about confusion when using the dosing syringe supplied with Children's Panadol.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Take 'The Coles Big Nappy Change' Challenge

You could become part of our Test Drive team and win one of 200 packs of Coles Little Explorer Nappies as part of our 5-day challenge.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Join us in The BIG nappy change

Introducing the new Coles Little Explorer Nappies! You can confidently rely on Coles Little Explorer nappies at each stage of your child's growth, so take the Big Nappy Change and try new Coles Little Explorer nappies for yourself!

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Weird trend

Couple has five babies in 14 months

Julie and David Grygla weren't sure they'd ever have kids - but their dreams have now well and truly come true.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.