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What is the funniest or weirdest thing your IL's have done.


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#1 strawberry blondes

Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:32 AM

There are always negative threads about IL's so I want to hear all the funny things your IL's have done. Perhaps they didn't seem so funny at the time but now you see the funny side. If you have no funny stories you might have some weird ones the rest of us will find funny.

I will start! I was annoyed for 5 mins but after that I saw the funny side and now it's a running joke.

Last christmas my IL's were staying with us for 7 1/2 weeks (fun. fun, fun lol) in the last few days I was opening some icy poles with my kitchen scissors for my DD's when my oldest DD piped up " Oh they are the scissors granddad uses for his toe nails"  sick.gif  I told her not to be so silly granddad wouldn't use my kitchen scissors to cut his toe nails, there are nail clippers in the bathroom. She got a bit upset and said she wasn't lying and he did use them. IL's were outside topping up their tans before returning to the UK so I went outside laughing and told granddad what DD had said and waited for him to deny it....he didn't! He said yes a few weeks ago he used them for his toe nails but not to worry as he has rinsed them under the tap! I had been using those toe nail scissors to cut up meat!  roll2.gif

#2 katpaws

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:16 AM

After DD was born i was diagnosed with secondary infertility and it was something that i did not discuss with family, or really feel it was any of their business and my health issues were very complicated that I did not want to go through them with anyone. On one visit to us, the InLaws decided to talk to us about their infertility journey (which was odd as to stop them asking when i was going to have another baby i told them i could no longer get pregnant and to never ask me about that subject again). As Catholics in the 1960s, sperm could not be wasted. So i got to hear about how they collected sperm for the fertility testing, often it involved a spoon and collection soon after sex. By this stage i am staring daggers at DH to make them stop. But he doesn't and it gets worse. I get to hear how FiL had his sperm collected when the spoon method was not working. I got to hear how the doctor inserted his thumb into Fil's bum to make him come! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!  oomg.gif   oomg.gif   oomg.gif I don't know how the sperm was not wasted after that (don't want to know), i ran out after FiL said he came quickly, i could not take anymore. My ears! My ears! Some nights i still wake up screaming.... the spoon... the thumb   ssecret.gif

To be honest, it was a awful experience for me, one i will never get over, i still see that thumb  ohmy.gif  but it makes a good story at dinner parties.... Other people find it funny....but they weren't there when it happened...

Edited by katpaws, 03 December 2012 - 06:18 AM.


#3 missjoads1234

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:20 AM

Sorry but the second story isnt funny thats just wrong.  sick.gif Who tells people that sort of info? Thats just not right.



#4 Lagom

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:22 AM

QUOTE (katpaws @ 03/12/2012, 07:16 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
After DD was born i was diagnosed with secondary infertility and it was something that i did not discuss with family, or really feel it was any of their business and my health issues were very complicated that I did not want to go through them with anyone. On one visit to us, the InLaws decided to talk to us about their infertility journey (which was odd as to stop them asking when i was going to have another baby i told them i could no longer get pregnant and to never ask me about that subject again). As Catholics in the 1960s, sperm could not be wasted. So i got to hear about how they collected sperm for the fertility testing, often it involved a spoon and collection soon after sex. By this stage i am staring daggers at DH to make them stop. But he doesn't and it gets worse. I get to hear how FiL had his sperm collected when the spoon method was not working. I got to hear how the doctor inserted his thumb into Fil's bum to make him come! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!  oomg.gif   oomg.gif   oomg.gif I don't know how the sperm was not wasted after that (don't want to know), i ran out after FiL said he came quickly, i could not take anymore. My ears! My ears! Some nights i still wake up screaming.... the spoon... the thumb   ssecret.gif

To be honest, it was a awful experience for me, one i will never get over, i still see that thumb  ohmy.gif  but it makes a good story at dinner parties.... Other people find it funny....but they weren't there when it happened...


I'm sorry.  sad.gif

ffear.gif  Words fail me!  That is either horrifying or hilarious.  I'm not sure which.



#5 katpaws

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:24 AM

Well the OP asked for funny or weird. I don't know what category this story fits into. Horror????? I think MiL decided we were having fertility issues before DD was born so they might have been saving their "spoon" talk for a long time. I don't know why they told us... it put us off sex for a year...

Edited by katpaws, 03 December 2012 - 06:25 AM.


#6 Lagom

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:28 AM

QUOTE (katpaws @ 03/12/2012, 07:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well the OP asked for funny or weird. I don't know what category this story fits into. Horror????? I think MiL decided we were having fertility issues before DD was born so they might have been saving their "spoon" talk for a long time. I don't know why they told us... it put us off sex for a year...


Only a year?  I'm surprised you're not scarred for life.  hhugs.gif

#7 MGB

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:28 AM

QUOTE (katpaws @ 03/12/2012, 07:16 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
After DD was born i was diagnosed with secondary infertility and it was something that i did not discuss with family, or really feel it was any of their business and my health issues were very complicated that I did not want to go through them with anyone. On one visit to us, the InLaws decided to talk to us about their infertility journey (which was odd as to stop them asking when i was going to have another baby i told them i could no longer get pregnant and to never ask me about that subject again). As Catholics in the 1960s, sperm could not be wasted. So i got to hear about how they collected sperm for the fertility testing, often it involved a spoon and collection soon after sex. By this stage i am staring daggers at DH to make them stop. But he doesn't and it gets worse. I get to hear how FiL had his sperm collected when the spoon method was not working. I got to hear how the doctor inserted his thumb into Fil's bum to make him come! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!  oomg.gif   oomg.gif   oomg.gif I don't know how the sperm was not wasted after that (don't want to know), i ran out after FiL said he came quickly, i could not take anymore. My ears! My ears! Some nights i still wake up screaming.... the spoon... the thumb   ssecret.gif

To be honest, it was a awful experience for me, one i will never get over, i still see that thumb  ohmy.gif  but it makes a good story at dinner parties.... Other people find it funny....but they weren't there when it happened...



ohmy.gif That is all kinds of wrong. What did your husband say? I would be mortified if my parents spoke like that.

OP, ewww to the toenails and cutting up meat with the same scissors. laughing2.gif

Edited by Mrs Mel, 03 December 2012 - 06:30 AM.


#8 katpaws

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:35 AM

QUOTE
What did your husband say?


He was as shocked as me, he couldn't say anything. But we now have a collection of words that bring us out into fits of laughter or silent rememberance (ie "spoon" "thumb" "Christmas" "gourmet ", "agapanthus" "SIL's cat" "dingo dog" etc).

I could tell the story of my DD's first Christmas experience with the InLaws... whole different level... i got to see FiL's bottom, but that is only the tip of the iceberg of that event... gastro, crazy cat, heat wave, crazy dog...  the sea was stormy that day, my friends....

Edited by katpaws, 03 December 2012 - 06:41 AM.


#9 Dylan's Mummy

Posted 03 December 2012 - 06:45 AM

When our baby was born this year my MIL gave different people different spellings of his name.

#10 Zesty

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:14 AM

My MIL never entered foot in our house. Before you jump to the wrong conclusion, it wasn't her protest of her son and I living together (even though she used to say we lived together "in de****to") as we weren't together initially and she still wouldn't come in. Apparently it was "not appropriate". Yes, that's right, not appropriate for my MIL to enter the house of her son. I believe there would be people around who would relish a MIL like that.

#11 Aquarium

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:25 AM

Katpaws that is one of the funniest things I've read on EB. Poor you, scarred for life!


#12 katpaws

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:34 AM

Aquarium, i have scars from many experiences with the ILs.



#13 QueenIanthe

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:38 AM

One Christmas my MIL wrapped up stuff she had around the house and gave it to people. And it wasn't good stuff to start with. It was pretty strange.

#14 Gumbette

Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:38 AM

One XMas FIL bought a second hand outdoor spa and decided we should all try it together immediately) I mean all 10 of us in something that was smaller than your average family car). It was 35 degrees, everyone was hot and sweaty and we were all meant to put swimmers on without showering first and basically sit in a warm bath together. It was so small that everybody was rubbing up on each other silently waiting to be told they were allowed to get out sick.gif FIL got very angry that I refused to get in, so much so he gave me the silent treatment for hours.  He really was a bossy thing that we miss a lot.

Ianthe, my DH's grandmother used to do that every year, problem is she had poor eyesight and didn't realise that most of the stuff she was giving away had stains on them (or maybe she did which was why she was getting rid of them).

#15 rainycat

Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:58 AM

Oh my wordylordy Katpaws ohmy.gif
You poor poor, scarred for life girl.
That made me cringe and laugh at the same time.

#16 MGB

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:04 AM

QUOTE (katpaws @ 03/12/2012, 07:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
He was as shocked as me, he couldn't say anything. But we now have a collection of words that bring us out into fits of laughter or silent rememberance (ie "spoon" "thumb" "Christmas" "gourmet ", "agapanthus" "SIL's cat" "dingo dog" etc).

I could tell the story of my DD's first Christmas experience with the InLaws... whole different level... i got to see FiL's bottom, but that is only the tip of the iceberg of that event... gastro, crazy cat, heat wave, crazy dog...  the sea was stormy that day, my friends....


Now that does sound interesting laughing2.gif

I would never be able to look at them the same again. How odd of them to discuss that much info with their son and DIL, or anyone for that matter. It does make for a laugh here though.




#17 ComradeBob

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:20 AM

Oh Katpaws, now I've got "Every Sperm is Sacred" going through my head - it's a parody song which I *think* was written by Dermot Morgan of Father Ted fame  laugh.gif

My ILs have never done anything very odd, although the last time we went to visit we managed to all lock ourselves out of the house, and the only way we could get back in again was for MIL, who is tiny, to get a lift up from DH and squeeze through the tiny window in the bedroom. Lucky she was with us, neither DH or I would have fitted laughing2.gif

#18 Katie_bella

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:37 AM

My MIL gives us the toiletry packs you get on international flights as gifts.....she also washes plastic bags (ie bread bags, vegie bags from the supermarket) in the washing machine (with the undies etc), hangs them on the line to dry and expects us to use them for food sick.gif .
Cooks everything without oil/butter or sugar but doesn't change the recipes to accomodate this.

Rings, then sits on the phone for long periods, not talking........just breathing

Refuses to come and see us over xmas because it's too dangerous to travel at xmas, but is happy for us to drive 12 hours to see them.

OMG i could go all day with this topic ....... rolleyes.gif


ETA: Jinglebob...it's a Monty Python song.....and yep, it's in my head too.

Edited by Katie_bella, 03 December 2012 - 09:39 AM.


#19 Therese

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:41 AM

You poor thing katpaws. ffear.gif

#20 Brrrroooce!

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:43 AM

When we lived in an apartment, FIL told us that living in "close quarters" with others could only lead to wife-swapping.



#21 Percoriel

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:44 AM

Oh Katpaws that is hilarous!!! So funny! (and so glad its not my in laws!!

#22 JillyJellyBean

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:44 AM

katpaws - thats a classic. Yes scarring indeed

#23 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:46 AM

My in-laws are obsessed with food being available all the time. Every event, even non-food related, requires intricate menu planning so a horrific situation where someone has to wait five minutes for food does not arise. Needless to say, my SILs and DH all struggle with their weight.

Anyway, I was driving to a restaurant with my MIL, 2 SILs and DH and my MIL asked if I was hungry. I said I was feeling peckish and looking forward to the meal, as you do. Just general light conversation. Well, this caused great consternation. Despite expecting to be at the restaurant in 10 minutes and no doubt eating in under an hour, someone was hungry. Disaster! There were numerous offers to pull into a servo so I could eat, offers to phone ahead to the restaurant so an entree could be waiting for me and finally, the great honour of being offered my MILs emergency banana which she always keeps in her handbag.

I really love my PILs but the whole food thing is weird. There is no famine in their history- they were both brought up on Australian farms and always had enough to eat.



#24 ~elle~

Posted 03 December 2012 - 09:46 AM

On about the first dinner with future MIL we had to sit there and listen to her describing her 9 months of vaginal bleeding and discharge.
Over a really bad meal and no where near enough booze to blot out the night. a decade on and I'm still trying to block it from my mind.

#25 WYSIWYG

Posted 03 December 2012 - 10:03 AM

Not really something they have done, more what I have done.

I seem to have a habit of calling FIL 'babe' blush.gif




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