Are you glad you had your 2nd?
For those that were umming and ahhing
, Dec 02 2012 06:26 PM
38 replies to this topic
Posted 02 December 2012 - 08:07 PM
Yes definitely glad.
DD2 has been a very difficult baby and child (she's now 18 months), and after having DD1 who was a complete angel and the easiest baby, we were certainly shocked and wondered what the hell we'd gotten ourselves into! It didn't help that we only had a 15 month age gap, so things were certainly hectic at our place for a while.
But now that DD2 is getting much better and happier and getting a bit of independence, it's been amazing. They absolutely ADORE each other, they do everything together and all day long all I hear is them playing their funny little games and giggling their heads off
It's made every hard day worth it to me, and I absolutely love how close they are. We're going to be TTC again next year, so as hard as DD2 has been, obviously it can't have been too bad as we're wanting to go again now
I feel like I have got better at the whole parenting lark and would vaguely, possibly consider no.3. But I suspect DD2 is the decoy angel baby to lull us into a false sense of security to have a third who would probably be the devil incarnate!
I am holding out all hope that there is a possiblilty number 3 will be an angel again like DD1! DD1 was definitely the decoy baby to lull us into thinking this whole parenting thing was easy and that we totally knew what we were doing. DD2 sure gave us a big wake up call
I'm hoping our third will at least be somewhere in between if we've already used up our angel baby quota lol.
Posted 02 December 2012 - 08:10 PM
I was pretty sure we wanted another one after DD but DH wasn't sure and was umming over it when DS decided the time was right, ready or not - we couldn't imagine life without him now
They are 23 months apart and although DS is an utter delight, its the bond between them and watching their relationship develop that is the best thing for us about having more than 1. No more for us though!
Posted 02 December 2012 - 08:16 PM
I have a Dd and now a DS. They are 5 yrs apart because I ummed for a while and then it took ages to conceive. I really really wanted another girl so decided to have a baby when I just wanted a baby.
Seriously? My son has been hard hard hard.
He was premature (32weeks) born with a cleft lip,
has had 2 surgeries and 3 overnight hospy visits ( not including mine for mastitis) outside of his tenure at SCU or NCC.
His sleeping was ordinary and feeding was inefficient at best due to cleft.
He then refused breast after his cleft op which was so sad for me as I was really looking fwd to a nice bfeeding relationship post cleft op! Not to be.
Recovery from the operations was complete hell, I could not go through it again I don't think!
When I found out at 20 week scan that DS had a cleft ( and, anything beyond that was unknown) I really had regrets abt # 2. I thought, " typical, given he's a boy - they are just trouble from day 1! "
DS came out " naturally" ( I had planned a full termish CS) at 1.5 kg and I was smitten. Any regrets vanished and my instinct to protect this tiny tiny baby ( my baby!!) was all I wanted to do. ( and did do )
OMG, at now 6 months ( 4 mths corrected) he is the most awesome thing I have created. I love Dd, she is also pretty perfect, but a daddy's girl through and through. My son has only eyes for me and quite frankly, it's so unfamiliar but wonderful. So while DD and I have that girly connect where we love to hang out, get nails done, play barbie etc ( all the stuff I love to do) I look forward to finding that same niche with my son. My number 2 belongs to our family. It's like he's always been here!
If you have the niggle, I say do it for sure, don't delay!! ( although a 5 yr gap is pretty good for me )
Posted 02 December 2012 - 08:26 PM
Yes. Totally different - and by that I mean better - second time around.
BUT... Thank goodness it was a five year age gap.
I had wanted close together, but in hindsight that would likely have caused me to have a breakdown!
The age gap is actually great
Posted 02 December 2012 - 08:31 PM
We always knew we wanted more than 1 child but DD arrived a little earlier than planned which is why my pair are 23months apart.
Although it was challenging (due to DS1 special needs plus day to day challenges) it was also rewarding and they are best friends, 2 peas in a pod and I cannot imagine my life any different.
Posted 02 December 2012 - 08:31 PM
So glad I can't even begin to describe it (though I'll try!). Both DS and DD have been hard refluxy babies it has been much easier second time around, even though DD has probably been harder. Although I've been more tired this time due to having an energetic toddler to wrangle as well as a newborn, it's been more general tiredness, rather than new parent anxiety.
DS loves his baby sister and has had zero issues adjusting to having to share his parents with her (although a difficult baby, DS is a fairly easygoing and utterly delightful toddler...well...most days!). Towards the end of my second pregnancy I started to worry about how I'd cope again and about the birth etc but i needn't have worried as DD's birth and my recovery were so much easier than DS's. DD brings me pure joy. She is just starting to laugh out loud and to make funny noises. I feel very lucky and some days even consider that number 3 might be a possibility....
Posted 03 December 2012 - 02:00 PM
we didnt um and ahh about having number 2 as we were sure we wanted another. She was the best thing I did. Placid little baby that slept all night, adorable 2 yr old (fiesty 3 yr old). It was so refreshing after DD1 being the opposite and being hard work from birth. DD2 restored my confidence in my parenting. She may also be the reason we are having number 3 soon (which we did um and ahh over).
Posted 03 December 2012 - 05:32 PM
No 2 is only 2 weeks old, but I'm pretty pleased, and pretty sure we're keeping him.
DH was really pressured into #2 by me, but at only 2 weeks old, has been asking me questions about the odds of a girl if we went back for more, and double checking if we have any embryos in the freezer (we don't.)
Suffice to say, I think he's pretty into our darling DS2 as well!
Posted 15 December 2012 - 06:30 AM
Very glad, we always wanted at least two and with a 15 months gap in between DS and DS its hard work but after the hard work DS was to put to sleep DD is a dream! Maybe I'm more relaxed but everything just seems easier, not as stressed over sleeps etc but I'm so lucky we had her even if I was unsure at the start..
Posted 15 December 2012 - 06:43 AM
Everyday we feel lucky to have our two, however, if our second had been our first, we would only have had one (and is one of the reasons we are stopping at 2).
My son (14) is easy going, compliant, bright, funny, just generally an ideal child (you could have 20 of him and parenting would still be easy).
My daughter (nearly 4) is a tornado... she had colic, reflux, she has asthma, eczema, food senstitivities. She has tantrums that go on for hours. She is contrary and opinionated. But she is also the most hilarious, wonderful, warm, full of life, intense little human ever. (So as much as we love her, I don't know if our household would survive two of her).
I obviously didn't get better at this parenting gig
Posted 15 December 2012 - 06:53 AM
This morning she is testing every last little bit of patience I have - but in saying that, Yes, I am VERY glad we made the choice to have her.
she is such a little character, I cant imagine the house without her!
and i'm even more glad that number 3 took it upon herself to join us
Posted 15 December 2012 - 09:04 AM
Yes definitely! I wasn't going to have another, my girls are three years and one month apart, they are now 14 and 11, the only thing I wish is that I had another one or two!
Posted 15 December 2012 - 09:14 AM
yes of course.
Even though i had to endure months and months of Hyperemisis hell and begged to die.
Even though she is a bad sleeper and i havent had a full nights sleep in 2+ years
If she were to die tomorrow i would be lost.
So of course I'm glad for all my children. They are blessings.
Posted 15 December 2012 - 09:17 AM
Yes, so much so that we had no.3!
The first two are 6 and nearly 3 and their relationship is just beautiful. They get so much joy from each other, DH and I are constantly thankful we were able to give them that sibling experience. I know not all siblings get along but ours just adore each other.
They are also completely different personalities and we enjoy that too.
I found the 3 year gap great and easy to manage.
Edited by tiggy2, 15 December 2012 - 09:18 AM.
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