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Are you glad you had your 2nd?
For those that were umming and ahhing


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38 replies to this topic

#1 MissM86

Posted 02 December 2012 - 06:26 PM

I often see threads where people ask whether they should have the second child as they feel undecided. For those of you who were tossing the idea around but felt very unsure, do you feel you made the right decision in hindsight (whether you decided to have the second or not)?

I am currently umming and ahhing about whether I am ready for another one. My DD is 15 months.

#2 FloralArrangement

Posted 02 December 2012 - 06:33 PM

My 2nd was and is a pure delight, DD is 14 now and I am so blessed. DD slept through from the first night, I was the most relaxed with her, she is why dd3 is here.

We now have 5 children our last 2 are in our permanent care.

There is 3.5 years between dd1 and 2. I didn't want a smaller gap but would have been happier if the gap was smaller between 2 and 3, 18 months rather than 5 years (fertility issues arose).

I have no regrets about no 2.

#3 gabbigirl

Posted 02 December 2012 - 06:38 PM

Yes I am glad,whilst she was a bad sleeper and my first was a good one, you couldn't have two moredifferentchildren.  My second is living proof that my first 'challenging' child is nature, not parenting  biggrin.gif

#4 cinnabubble

Posted 02 December 2012 - 06:45 PM

Very glad. We like her a lot and will defnitely be keeping her.

#5 Batmansunderpants

Posted 02 December 2012 - 06:46 PM

My number 2 is only 1 month old, so my judgement may be clouded. I'm still in the "yikes what have we done?" Stage as I try to figure out how to manage a newborn and a 2 year old. I'm constantly in fear I am depriving one when tending to the other. My anxiety is high, but I can visualise a time when surely it must get easier?

Edited by Miss Cookie, 02 December 2012 - 06:47 PM.


#6 BlondieUK

Posted 02 December 2012 - 06:47 PM

Am I glad? Only when they're not both screaming at once wink.gif

#7 honeyjoy2

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:23 PM

QUOTE (gabbigirl @ 02/12/2012, 07:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes I am glad,whilst she was a bad sleeper and my first was a good one, you couldn't have two moredifferentchildren.  My second is living proof that my first 'challenging' child is nature, not parenting  biggrin.gif


My second is also living proof that the 'challenging' nature of my first is due to nature, not nurture!! That is one of the reasons I'm glad we had a second, because if #2 was as challenging I'd be very worried about my parenting skills!

I have to say though that I found managing a 2 year old a newborn very difficult and stressful and I'm eternally grateful that #2 was (and is) such an 'easy' child  original.gif

#8 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:28 PM

Yes, very happy with our second! He's a real cutie, and DS1 is wonderful with him......for me parenting has been much easier the second time round....

#9 Lauren Bell

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:31 PM

I am interested to see the replies here as I to am umming and ahhing about having another. DD is 19 months and if I do have another I want them to be close in age. But can't decide..

#10 a letter to Elise.

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:34 PM

Watching the relationship developing between DS (3 and 3 months) and DD (5.5 months) has been just beautiful. No regrets at all - I'm even contemplating number 3.

#11 2bundles

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:34 PM

QUOTE
Very glad. We like her a lot and will defnitely be keeping her.


This.  We had 27mths between and overall they are best friends.

#12 RealityBites

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:35 PM

I had my second 5 years after my first, I didn't have her until I was really clucky. She is the best thing ever, although my dh calls her our difficult second album lol

#13 nen-c

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:36 PM

Yes she is a total delight & the easiest baby you could ever wish for (the first was a bit of a tricky baby at times). I'm certainly done now though, a family if 4 seems like the perfect size for us.

#14 BearBait

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:37 PM

DD2 is 3.5m old, DD1 is 2.5yo. I am totally in love with both, however eternally amazed how different their characters are. DD2 is such a chilled baby. I was also undecided about having #2 but now feel that our family is complete. Having a 3rd would be too much for us, with 1 I always felt a yearning for another, I am thrilled with 2.

#15 eboyd

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:37 PM

Yes very happy, though I always wanted two. Well since I decided I wanted kids that is. There is almost 6 years age gap and while I would have liked a smaller gap in fact it has worked out very well for us. I really don't think I could have handled two under three. I never wanted an only child so very glad we eventually got our second.

#16 feralangel

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:42 PM

Yes yes yes. DD2 is a easy baby and parenting is a lot easier 2nd time around.  DD1 is very independent and has stepped up to her big sister role admirably.  The 2 years between my DDs is perfect.

#17 Freddie'sMum

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:42 PM

Honestly ??

No.

DD#2 is the polar opposite of DD#1 and having her has put the greatest strain on DH's and my relationship.



#18 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:42 PM

QUOTE (BearBait @ 02/12/2012, 08:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
DD2 is 3.5m old, DD1 is 2.5yo. I am totally in love with both, however eternally amazed how different their characters are. DD2 is such a chilled baby. I was also undecided about having #2 but now feel that our family is complete. Having a 3rd would be too much for us, with 1 I always felt a yearning for another, I am thrilled with 2.

Same....no 2 ended up being a long time coming (some secondary infertility issues) although the gap has worked out quite well for me personally...but I am done! I used to see pregnant women and would get a little pang of envy..but now....just blessed relief I never have to do it again!

Edited by Lucretia Borgia, 02 December 2012 - 07:47 PM.


#19 fun_fairz

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:43 PM

The best thing that ever happened to me. Number one was a difficult pregnancy and a difficult birth. I then really struggled to connect with him and found the first year of his life I was totally out of my depth. I never wanted him to be an only child so had number two.
I fell in love the moment I met him, having two just made me as a mother as I was suddenly good at it. I think being so busy juggling two I forgot about trying to be perfect and putting pressure on myself.
I am now considering three.

#20 indigogirl

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:44 PM

I ummed and ahhed about having another....but he had his own plans and came anyway! And I'm so glad he did! My DS2 is completely divine. So much so that now I'm back to umming and ahhing about having number 3!

#21 Feral-chillibean

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:46 PM

Yes.

DD2 is (mostly) a delight, and a much easier than DD1.  She has a personality though and will not be shy and retiring.  We decided to go for no.2 when DD1 was 15 months old and we have 27 months between the 2.

I can't pretend it is all plain sailing, sometimes it is challenging but we are so happy as a family and to watch the relationship develop even this early (DD1 is 3 and DD2 is 11 months) is amazing.

I feel like I have got better at the whole parenting lark and would vaguely, possibly consider no.3.  But I suspect DD2 is the decoy angel baby to lull us into a false sense of security to have a third who would probably be the devil incarnate!

#22 katrina24

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:50 PM

Extremely! I couldn't imagine my life without her. I won't lie and say it's always easy. There would be things that were easier with one for sure. But, seeing them play together, the joy they bring to each other and us is priceless.

#23 dogsneaker

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:51 PM

absolutely!

totally adore them both for their similarities and differences. I just wished we had children sooner.

It's not always peaches though, there are some days when I am clock watching in the afternoon and wishing it was bedtime for the kids already, BUT I've never had a 'What have we done moment'.

...now contemplating no.3 ...

#24 justnotfeelingit

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:56 PM

kind of a bit of this:

QUOTE
Honestly ??

No.

DD#2 is the polar opposite of DD#1 and having her has put the greatest strain on DH's and my relationship.


DS is polar opposite to DD, didnt sleep through consistently til 16 months but is far cruisy when awake unlike his sister who can be a handful but mostly:

QUOTE
Yes very happy, though I always wanted two. Well since I decided I wanted kids that is. There is almost 6 years age gap and while I would have liked a smaller gap in fact it has worked out very well for us. I really don't think I could have handled two under three. I never wanted an only child so very glad we eventually got our second.


I love my DS beyond words, he's absolutely delightful and makes me melt everyday, can't imagine life without him.

#25 happy2bme

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:56 PM

I have doubts sometimes about whether we should have had #2.  Don't get me wrong I absolutely adore DS2 & couldn't imagine a life without him but both my children are high maintenance (not in a special needs way - just very full on & active ALL the time) & I don't feel like I am natural mother.  

Maybe it is bad parenting I don't know.  I guess I cant be all that put off cause we have been contemplating #3 lol




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