Jump to content

Swapping work/parent gig with DH
For a week


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 beebs09

Posted 01 December 2012 - 10:34 PM

Do you think a week would be enough time for DH to appreciative the work involved in looking after 2 young children and running the household.

I've just had a rare movie night with friends, where kids were fed and in pjs and I had also prepared DHs dinner before I left (to make it easy on him the poor sweetheart having to look after his kids on his own for a few hours - this was while he was watching a movie and he went for his Saturday ritual 2-3hr bike ride this morning) And I've had it confirmed from friends yet again how little DH does other than his day job, and how do I put up with it.

DH also had a go at me today about mess, which I blew up about.

I think the only way for him to appreciate my many roles is for him to do what I do for a week. But maybe a month would be better. I just wish he would contribute a bit more with little things like a nappy change here and there. Cooking a meal here and there (does maybe once a week atm). Cleaning the bloody mirror after he flosses and putting the used floss in the bin!

Problem is I am a bit messy, but I feel as though if he just pitched in a little bit then the place would be clean. If only he sorted the kids for bed and kept them occupied so I could focus on tidying the kitchen etc.

It's just such an ongoing battle, and kids are so messy. What do ya do hey?

Edited by beebs09, 01 December 2012 - 10:36 PM.


#2 raone

Posted 01 December 2012 - 10:37 PM

I would also like to know how to do this as it seems like a chore for Dh to even hold bub. I don't really need his help but I would like him to form a bond with his child! (As well pick up after himself thats all I ask)

#3 jayskette

Posted 01 December 2012 - 10:40 PM

lol I remember reading about a woman in the same situation, she just booked a holiday for a week with her girlfriends and just left to her DH to handle by himself, they had 3 kids (2 toddlers 1 baby) and the DH was a completely different man upon her return  biggrin.gif  *nudge nudge*

#4 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 01 December 2012 - 10:42 PM

DH had DS last week for one day while I was at work. He rang me to ask what time I was coming home at 9:30am. Every time I spoke to him on the phone DS was screaming in the background. DS rarely cries and is never like that for me or my parents.

I was going to cancel the rest of my leave as DH is home to look after DS but DH didn't want me to cancel it unless necessary.

DH looked after DS the first day I went back to work back in September and had a blast and has been saying how he'd like to be a SAHD. He has completely changed his mind now.

DS wasn't bad, just demanding. I also think DS thought I was at home hiding so was even more upset.

Good luck. I think a week is plenty!

#5 beebs09

Posted 01 December 2012 - 11:02 PM

DH is able to look after the kids when I'm not around like when I pick up an extra Sunday shift. Absolutely nothing else is done on those days though.

As soon as I'm around though, oh he's too tired. Or if you don't cook I'm just going to order takeaway (which is fab for the budget let alone health). Baby winges - oh just put him back to bed is always his solution, even if he's just got up an hour ago. I think DS spends a lot of his time in his cot when I work sad.gif Why is it always a battle.

I want a full week so he has to do round the clock parenting, household chores, grocery shopping and meal prep etc. As soon as I wean DS I reckon I'm off interstate for a week. He's got lots of leave and is apparently burnt out from work. Win win right?

Oh and look after the dogs too.

Edited by beebs09, 01 December 2012 - 11:04 PM.


#6 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 02 December 2012 - 10:32 AM

Nothing gets done when DH looks after DS either. I think going away for a week to recuperate and recharge while he learns to manage the household sounds like a good idea original.gif

#7 beebs09

Posted 02 December 2012 - 06:17 PM

Thanks Sunnycat. I never did reply to that thread about who kills threads in fear that it would be me lol. Clearly another one of my shining examples of a boring read, but it was more of a vent anyway.
Cheers.

#8 lozoodle

Posted 02 December 2012 - 06:49 PM

Threads like this make me appreciate my dp so much. He isnt home much due to working hours but when he is he does pretty much the same amount i would.

It needs to be more than a week. A week is a little holiday from work and its still a novelty. A month is more realistic!!! And in that month you have to not do anything you normally would so he reslises it wont get done otherwise.

#9 prettypenny

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:10 PM

I had to go away for 2 weeks training when I returned to work when DD1 was 15 months. DH took leave and looked after her. Prior to this "secondment" he would help when prompted but after it he was way more proactive.

I say worth a try.

#10 cinnabubble

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:14 PM

Are you planning on going to work? It won't be a proper swap unless you're doing what he does.

#11 beebs09

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:53 PM

It would be a like for like swap. I currently work 2 days. Him 5. But I 95% look after kids and household unless I work a Sunday where he looks after them. I would definitely work 5 days in this scenario which I can do as I'm a nurse and can pick up work easily.

I think a month is a better idea. Or 3 weeks where I contribute the same as he does now,  and 1week how I wished he contribute.



#12 papilio

Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:26 PM

If you can really, actually swap as in you increase your shifts and he takes some time off to spend at home with the kids, a week might be just long enough that he thinks he can do it all and doesn't know what you are whinging about.

A month or at least two weeks would prove the point much better.

#13 adl

Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:32 PM

I think a month to make it work ...and you have to post regularly to let  us know how it goes!

Walk a mile in each other shoes ... I think brilliant !!!! as you may learn how he feels too with working more and not being there as much?

I have to say my DH is rather wonderful ...he does the laundry, ironing....and main kitchen cleaner ...we share cooking.. If I had to complain is that when he is home with DS he is busy with chores, not playing enough  rolleyes.gif   But he does get home a lot earlier than me

Today he got a taste of what my "day off" is like with speech, swimming, shopping then nap...which takes us to after 4pm.... But he is keen to be a SAHD...he inks he will have more time for golf mwah ha ha ha  dev (6).gif

#14 *LucyE*

Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:38 PM

I was injured a few years ago and was out of action for 6 weeks. 2 of those weeks I was on prescription opiates and high as a kite. DH had to take over all of the household work, child care and activities. He dropped all of my volunteer stuff though.

He took 4 weeks holiday from work and thought it would be a great bonding experience with the kids. After one week he was exhausted and had a new perspective of what I do. After 2 weeks he was tetchy and ready to go back to work. After 3, he was farming out the kids to family and friends (in terms of drop off, pick up etc), eating out a lot as well as buying school lunches rather than packing at home. He had also started working again too. By 4 weeks, I was doing the household chores with help from the kids and family. I couldn't drive for about 12 weeks so I had to rely a lot on family and friends.

He has always been a big help, but it did help him to see the stuff that I do for the family that's not obvious.

#15 Coffeegirl

Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:47 PM

DH has had to handle ours on his own off and on since DD was 6 mths old.   I went to work evenings and DH took over.  He worked fulltime office hours 9-5 and then came home, I passed DD over and off to work I went from 7-11 then 9-2 on Saturdays.   DH loved it.  He still had to bathe and feed DS as well as settle her.

Then we've  had a few emergency times where DH has had to suck it up and deal with it.  1st time, DD was 3mths old and I needed surgery on my knee and was in hopsital overnight.   The second time, I sliced my thumb open when DD was 11 mths and I had to have emergency surgery.

DH also had to juggle DD and work in the late stages of my pregnancy with DS when I had pre-eclampsia.  I could go for a morning check up and be admitted immediately with no warning. Then 'released' two days later, only for the cycle to happen again 4-5 days later

DH also had to deal wih me going back to Canada for 3 weeks when my father passed away. He had DD at school then and DS in daycare.  


TBH, I think throwing them in at the deep end works the best.  They have no time to worry about it, nor prepare, so they just have to do  biggrin.gif




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Kelly Clarkson shares first photos of son

Kelly Clarkson has shown off the first photos of her son, Remington Alexander Blackstock.

5 childbirth myths that need to be busted

Birth is an unpredictable, mysterious process that intrigues us all, and there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Mum of three fatally shot by toddler while driving

A US mother has been shot by her toddler while driving on a highway in Wisconsin.

All you need is one minute to work out

The seven-minute-work out is old news. Research shows the effectiveness of going hell-for-leather for just one minute.

Pregnant women needed to join diabetes study

Pregnant woman in country Australia will help Adelaide researchers figure out why cases of type 1 diabetes have doubled over the past two decades.

Just announced: the Mountain Buggy Unirider

It's the perfect solution to combat those toddler meltdowns when they no longer want to be in a pram but can't walk long distances.

Authorities euthanise dog that fatally bit a newborn baby

A pit bull mix that fatally bit a 3-day-old infant last week has been euthanised, authorities said.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Why it's perfectly natural to dislike other people's children

Members of a popular forum are fiercely debating whether it is acceptable to dislike a friend's child.

Woman gives birth on plane, names baby after airline

A pregnant woman who unexpectedly gave birth on a flight has named her new baby after the airline, Jetstar.

Heartwarming photos show the joy of adoption after foster care

Children living in foster care can feel like their future is less than clear. But that uncertainty disappears the day they are adopted by their "forever family" 

'Oh my god, it's a baby!' Mum shocked to give birth

When the cramps started to kick in, Klara Dollan just assumed a painful period was starting.

Mum's Facebook plea: 'Help me find my daughter's father'

Kerryn has a unusual present planned for daughter Imi's 13th birthday celebrations - she hopes to be able to be able to give the soon-to-be the teenager her first ever photo of her dad.

Is it possible for your house to be too clean?

Our houses are cleaner than ever before. But how clean is too clean? Could a sterile home be putting your family's health at risk?

Millions of Monkeys: puzzles that grow with your toddler

Here's a puzzle that grows with them; the Puzzle Grow Pack by Millions of Monkeys.

Baby names from Britpop

If you grew up in the 90s you might want to look to the genre of Britpop music for baby name inspiration.

What to eat and drink when you have gastro

When you catch a bug that causes acute infectious gastroenteritis (gastro), your stomach and intestinal tract become inflamed, causing diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramping and pain. The last thing you probably feel like doing is eating.

'To this day, I owe her my life'

Would I have survived if I hadn't crossed that street?

Why baby Sonny needs you to vaccinate your children

Caitlin is a firm believer in the importance of immunisation to protect children from harmful and deadly diseases.

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.