Jump to content

Swapping work/parent gig with DH
For a week


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 beebs09

Posted 01 December 2012 - 10:34 PM

Do you think a week would be enough time for DH to appreciative the work involved in looking after 2 young children and running the household.

I've just had a rare movie night with friends, where kids were fed and in pjs and I had also prepared DHs dinner before I left (to make it easy on him the poor sweetheart having to look after his kids on his own for a few hours - this was while he was watching a movie and he went for his Saturday ritual 2-3hr bike ride this morning) And I've had it confirmed from friends yet again how little DH does other than his day job, and how do I put up with it.

DH also had a go at me today about mess, which I blew up about.

I think the only way for him to appreciate my many roles is for him to do what I do for a week. But maybe a month would be better. I just wish he would contribute a bit more with little things like a nappy change here and there. Cooking a meal here and there (does maybe once a week atm). Cleaning the bloody mirror after he flosses and putting the used floss in the bin!

Problem is I am a bit messy, but I feel as though if he just pitched in a little bit then the place would be clean. If only he sorted the kids for bed and kept them occupied so I could focus on tidying the kitchen etc.

It's just such an ongoing battle, and kids are so messy. What do ya do hey?

Edited by beebs09, 01 December 2012 - 10:36 PM.


#2 raone

Posted 01 December 2012 - 10:37 PM

I would also like to know how to do this as it seems like a chore for Dh to even hold bub. I don't really need his help but I would like him to form a bond with his child! (As well pick up after himself thats all I ask)

#3 jayskette

Posted 01 December 2012 - 10:40 PM

lol I remember reading about a woman in the same situation, she just booked a holiday for a week with her girlfriends and just left to her DH to handle by himself, they had 3 kids (2 toddlers 1 baby) and the DH was a completely different man upon her return  biggrin.gif  *nudge nudge*

#4 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 01 December 2012 - 10:42 PM

DH had DS last week for one day while I was at work. He rang me to ask what time I was coming home at 9:30am. Every time I spoke to him on the phone DS was screaming in the background. DS rarely cries and is never like that for me or my parents.

I was going to cancel the rest of my leave as DH is home to look after DS but DH didn't want me to cancel it unless necessary.

DH looked after DS the first day I went back to work back in September and had a blast and has been saying how he'd like to be a SAHD. He has completely changed his mind now.

DS wasn't bad, just demanding. I also think DS thought I was at home hiding so was even more upset.

Good luck. I think a week is plenty!

#5 beebs09

Posted 01 December 2012 - 11:02 PM

DH is able to look after the kids when I'm not around like when I pick up an extra Sunday shift. Absolutely nothing else is done on those days though.

As soon as I'm around though, oh he's too tired. Or if you don't cook I'm just going to order takeaway (which is fab for the budget let alone health). Baby winges - oh just put him back to bed is always his solution, even if he's just got up an hour ago. I think DS spends a lot of his time in his cot when I work sad.gif Why is it always a battle.

I want a full week so he has to do round the clock parenting, household chores, grocery shopping and meal prep etc. As soon as I wean DS I reckon I'm off interstate for a week. He's got lots of leave and is apparently burnt out from work. Win win right?

Oh and look after the dogs too.

Edited by beebs09, 01 December 2012 - 11:04 PM.


#6 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 02 December 2012 - 10:32 AM

Nothing gets done when DH looks after DS either. I think going away for a week to recuperate and recharge while he learns to manage the household sounds like a good idea original.gif

#7 beebs09

Posted 02 December 2012 - 06:17 PM

Thanks Sunnycat. I never did reply to that thread about who kills threads in fear that it would be me lol. Clearly another one of my shining examples of a boring read, but it was more of a vent anyway.
Cheers.

#8 lozoodle

Posted 02 December 2012 - 06:49 PM

Threads like this make me appreciate my dp so much. He isnt home much due to working hours but when he is he does pretty much the same amount i would.

It needs to be more than a week. A week is a little holiday from work and its still a novelty. A month is more realistic!!! And in that month you have to not do anything you normally would so he reslises it wont get done otherwise.

#9 prettypenny

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:10 PM

I had to go away for 2 weeks training when I returned to work when DD1 was 15 months. DH took leave and looked after her. Prior to this "secondment" he would help when prompted but after it he was way more proactive.

I say worth a try.

#10 cinnabubble

Posted 02 December 2012 - 07:14 PM

Are you planning on going to work? It won't be a proper swap unless you're doing what he does.

#11 beebs09

Posted 03 December 2012 - 07:53 PM

It would be a like for like swap. I currently work 2 days. Him 5. But I 95% look after kids and household unless I work a Sunday where he looks after them. I would definitely work 5 days in this scenario which I can do as I'm a nurse and can pick up work easily.

I think a month is a better idea. Or 3 weeks where I contribute the same as he does now,  and 1week how I wished he contribute.



#12 papilio

Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:26 PM

If you can really, actually swap as in you increase your shifts and he takes some time off to spend at home with the kids, a week might be just long enough that he thinks he can do it all and doesn't know what you are whinging about.

A month or at least two weeks would prove the point much better.

#13 adl

Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:32 PM

I think a month to make it work ...and you have to post regularly to let  us know how it goes!

Walk a mile in each other shoes ... I think brilliant !!!! as you may learn how he feels too with working more and not being there as much?

I have to say my DH is rather wonderful ...he does the laundry, ironing....and main kitchen cleaner ...we share cooking.. If I had to complain is that when he is home with DS he is busy with chores, not playing enough  rolleyes.gif   But he does get home a lot earlier than me

Today he got a taste of what my "day off" is like with speech, swimming, shopping then nap...which takes us to after 4pm.... But he is keen to be a SAHD...he inks he will have more time for golf mwah ha ha ha  dev (6).gif

#14 *LucyE*

Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:38 PM

I was injured a few years ago and was out of action for 6 weeks. 2 of those weeks I was on prescription opiates and high as a kite. DH had to take over all of the household work, child care and activities. He dropped all of my volunteer stuff though.

He took 4 weeks holiday from work and thought it would be a great bonding experience with the kids. After one week he was exhausted and had a new perspective of what I do. After 2 weeks he was tetchy and ready to go back to work. After 3, he was farming out the kids to family and friends (in terms of drop off, pick up etc), eating out a lot as well as buying school lunches rather than packing at home. He had also started working again too. By 4 weeks, I was doing the household chores with help from the kids and family. I couldn't drive for about 12 weeks so I had to rely a lot on family and friends.

He has always been a big help, but it did help him to see the stuff that I do for the family that's not obvious.

#15 Coffeegirl

Posted 03 December 2012 - 08:47 PM

DH has had to handle ours on his own off and on since DD was 6 mths old.   I went to work evenings and DH took over.  He worked fulltime office hours 9-5 and then came home, I passed DD over and off to work I went from 7-11 then 9-2 on Saturdays.   DH loved it.  He still had to bathe and feed DS as well as settle her.

Then we've  had a few emergency times where DH has had to suck it up and deal with it.  1st time, DD was 3mths old and I needed surgery on my knee and was in hopsital overnight.   The second time, I sliced my thumb open when DD was 11 mths and I had to have emergency surgery.

DH also had to juggle DD and work in the late stages of my pregnancy with DS when I had pre-eclampsia.  I could go for a morning check up and be admitted immediately with no warning. Then 'released' two days later, only for the cycle to happen again 4-5 days later

DH also had to deal wih me going back to Canada for 3 weeks when my father passed away. He had DD at school then and DS in daycare.  


TBH, I think throwing them in at the deep end works the best.  They have no time to worry about it, nor prepare, so they just have to do  biggrin.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wondersuit heaven: Bonds & Disney launch exclusive collection

Bonds and Disney fans with babies to buy for will be celebrating this news. Bonds and Disney have just released collaboration Wondersuits.

Perth hospital mistakes cancerous tumour for "behavioural issues"

When Naomi Holly, a mother of three, noticed her eight-month-old daughter Nora, was having difficulty crawling and standing up as normal, she knew there was something wrong.

Piano playing dad soothes son to sleep in moments

There's nothing more frustrating, or distressing to a parent than a sick child who can't  - or won't got to sleep. 

Lucky escape for mum and bub after snake found in couch

Perth mother Laurie Rushton Dyble was sitting on a recliner chair in her home holding her six-month-old son when her husband suddenly told her to get up and leave the room.

When your partner misses the birth

While no one wants their partner to miss their baby’s birth, it can happen. Here’s what to do if you find yourself in that situation.

Motherhood challenge: smug or just a bit of fun?

The #motherhoodchallenge sounds harmless, doesn't it? Some women disagree.

Who's the mum? Family photo goes viral

Last year, it was "The Dress". This year, it is a family photo that is breaking the internet.

5 easy meditation practices for beginners

So who's with me? You know meditating is one of the best things you can possibly do for yourself.

Woman to go on trial for being a bad housewife

An Italian woman could face up to six years in jail after her husband accused her of not doing enough cooking and cleaning at home.

Is the latest advice on women and drinking over the top?

While most expectant mums know to stop drinking when they’re pregnant, experts now warn women should stop drinking earlier than that. Is this necessary?

How household chores can double as a workout

If there's less than a slim chance you'll find time to get out for a jog or to hit the gym today, take heart in knowing that household chores contribute to the calorie equation.

I have no idea what I'm doing - and that's okay

Why don't we talk about the fact that when everything goes right, we may still feel completely lost, and certain that we have failed?

Dad warns of hair tourniquet danger after baby almost loses toe

A shocked father has shared his family's experience in a bid to warn other parents about the dangers of hair becoming entangled around a baby's toe.

Town welcomes first baby in 28 years

Since the 1980s, the Italian town of Ostana had not seen the birth of a single baby.

How to start teaching your kids road safety

It's something that can be taught as early as possible and reinforced as they get older and more mobile - even from toddlerhood.

Just announced: Bugaboo Cameleon³ Classic+ Collection update

Meet the brand new understated chic model from Bugaboo.

The emotional moment a mum hears her late son's heartbeat

It's been two and a half years since Heather Clark's seven-month-old son Lukas passed away.

Nine reasons why you have 'brain fog'

One minute your productivity is skyrocketing and the next you're sitting there trying to focus – just like that you draw blank, your brain, mush.

I had a caesarean and it was beautiful

Guess what? Despite not pushing him out, I cried, and my heart skipped, and I felt the rush of love and pride when I saw him for the first time.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Penny Wong

'The most hurtful argument in the marriage equality debate'

Labor frontbencher Penny Wong is used to to hearing arguments against same-sex marriage. But for Australia's most prominent gay politician, one hurts more than others.

Does exercise have to be fun to work?

Some things in life are inherently served with a big scoop of fun: balloons, bubbles, cupcakes to name but a few, but exercise?

Hair dye gives woman second-degree burns

She wanted a fresh colour for 2016, but instead she got chemical burns.

Kelly Slater saves mum and toddler from 'freak wave'

A Perth family has thanked US surfing "legend" Kelly Slater after the star saved a mother and a young toddler from "a freak wave" in Hawaii.

Apple recalls millions of power adapters

Tech giant instigates massive international recall of power point adapters due to risk of electric shock.

Toddler's adorable alphabet goes viral

It's impossible not to share this little boy's excitement  about the alphabet.

Tot's nighttime waking saves family's life

Like all tired parents, Monique and Kyle Ruppel were looking forward to the day their 15-month-old daughter Celia would start sleeping through the night. 

Australian mum gives birth to quintuplets

An Australian mum who has shared the ups and downs of carrying quintuplets has welcomed her five babies into the world.

Dad of four girls faints at gender reveal for fifth baby

It was all too much excitement for this dad.

The simple way you can help your baby's language development

The way parents respond to their child's babbling can shape how their infants communicate.

Zika virus is 'spreading explosively': WHO

The World Health Organization announced that it will convene an emergency meeting about Zika.

National database recommended for child protection cases

Baby Ebony was repeatedly failed by the agencies tasked with her protection before her horrific death at the hands of her father, South Australia's deputy coroner says.

Hospitals put babies at risk by ignoring policy on elective caesareans

Thirty-eight weeks or 39? Non-medical factors are pushing women to have elective caesareans earlier than official guidelines - and hospitals are playing along.

Police help deliver baby on busy roadside

Two police officers delivered more than a traffic fine by the side of a busy Melbourne road yesterday.

1D's Louis Tomlinson shares first photo of baby

One Direction's Louis Tomlinson has posted the first picture of his baby boy, Freddie, on social media.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Melbourne!

Get your ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.