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Does it matter that DS doesnt understand that im having a baby?

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#1 Guest_- Poppy -_*

Posted 01 December 2012 - 09:47 PM

Im due to give birth soon and DS has no idea what is going on.

He turned two a few months ago and when I try to explain that mummy is having a baby and he is going to be a big brother he just doesnt understand and starts babbling about something else!

A little girl at his daycare asked me if I was having a baby and I said yes and DS just wasnt interested in it!

Ive tried reading him books about it but he doesnt have much of an attention span and just points out things in the books and names them but doesnt understand the storyline.

Should I be worried he doesnt understand what is going on?

#2 snortle

Posted 01 December 2012 - 09:53 PM

You will bring baby home and after a few days he will realise baby is actually staying forever and thats that lol

As he gets older he will ask more questions, it wouldn't bother me in the least (and didn't when I went through the exact same thing original.gif )

#3 B.feral3

Posted 01 December 2012 - 09:58 PM

Mine were both 3 when the next one came. Neither cared less or showed any interest.  It was a non issue for me that they didn't care less or showed no interest!!

#4 Lokum

Posted 01 December 2012 - 09:59 PM

My little one was nearly 2 and 5 months when his baby brother was born last week. He took a long time to catch on to the idea.

When we started calling the baby by his name, wash his clothes, set up his bassinet and had the baby's car seat installed then DS1 also started talking about the baby a lot more. We showed him all these things, and talked about how we'd get the baby out of my tummy in the hospital, bring him home in the car seat etc.

We also had a lovely book called 'My New Baby' which has really nice pictures to prompt discussion.

He's a bit of a whirlwind, so we also talked about how he has to be gentle with the baby.

He has been perfect since the baby arrived. Careful, gentle, loving, sharing toys (with a 9 day old baby!), interested.... I'm sort of waiting for the trouble to start, LOL.

Don't know if you should be worried, since the babys coming either way, but a few more ideas about how to make it real for your DS.


#5 Marchioness Flea

Posted 01 December 2012 - 10:01 PM

Maybe buy a baby doll for him to look after and copy you with? Does he feel the kicks through your stomach?
Has he seen the scans?

#6 blackbird

Posted 01 December 2012 - 10:01 PM

I thought this too about my own son who was 1.5 years old when DS2 was born, turns out he did get it, it just wasn't as big a deal to him as it was to me, the new baby couldve been a new chair coming for all he cared at the time, once DS2 was actually here he was like, meh ok, as DS2 grew and became more interesting DS1 took more notice and now they are the best of mates. No jealousy issues at all etc.

#7 MakesMeHappy

Posted 02 December 2012 - 01:11 AM

I don't think you need to be worried. I had a few people ask ALL the time how DS1 (about 2 and a half) felt about the new baby coming, I told them he didn't understand and they would give me funny looks and suggest I prepare him better. He has been the best big brother, he had no problems adjusting at all. They get used to it once the new baby comes original.gif

Edited by popple, 02 December 2012 - 01:13 AM.

#8 *lightning

Posted 02 December 2012 - 01:28 AM

In our house it went like this... Bring home baby number 2 and first child goes into little mummy mode, loves being a big sister! Bring home baby number 3 and child 2 realizes he isn't the baby anymore and this new one is here to stay. Cue attention seeking behavior and reverting back to baby mode himself. Bring home baby number 4 and child 2 ramps up the attention seeking whilst child 3 cries when new baby cries, tickles new baby just to see him kick his feet and attempts to sit on new baby, we don't know why.

Every child reacts differently to a new sibling and its just a wait and see game. I told my kids there's a baby in my belly, there's a 3 year gap between my first two children and 2 years between the rest.

#9 Kalota

Posted 02 December 2012 - 04:48 PM

I don't think it's anything to worry about! I don't have any personal experience but my SIL just had a baby and had a 2 year old as well. Her little 2 year old had no idea what was going on or what was happening while SIL was pregnant! Now that the baby is here she understands that there is a new member of the family, she has a little sister, etc :-)

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