Jump to content

Breaking feeding to sleep
how long did it take you?


8 replies to this topic

#1 Flutters

Posted 01 December 2012 - 08:20 PM

I'm not sure if this should be here or in the BF section, but I wanted to hear from others who have broken the feed to sleep routine. My DD is 10 months old and her sleeping has always been hit & miss. She has only just started having day sleeps in her cot (after feeding to sleep) in the last 3 weeks - before then it was only in my arms. She wants to feed to sleep every single nap & Im going back to work 1st week of Jan. I would LOVE to break the feed to sleep association she has, to be honest I'm getting jack of it. It took me 3 hours from dinner to get her into bed tonight....ahhhhh enough!

So for those of you who have done it - how did you do it? Cold turkey, or slowly..and roughly how long did it take. I am going to have to suck it up & try the shhhhh pat during the day, which is a bit sad because I am really enjoying our time together now she doesn't have to sleep on me, and I only have a month left with her full time before going back to work 3 days a week. Unfortunately I can't see breaking feed to sleep for nights before I've broken it for day sleeps. Plus I would like to give up BFing in the next couple of months.

So anyone want to share how they did it & how long it took? Ta!

#2 axiomae

Posted 02 December 2012 - 08:33 AM

Just warning you it will be hard - there will be tears and crying. Even the 'no-cry' methods involve a lot of crying because you're changing the rules on baby, so to speak, and she needs to learn a new way to go to sleep. Read up on self-settling and different ways to go about it. There are gentler methods, which take longer and have their pros and cons. Some people say it's kinder because you don't leave the baby when they're crying, others think it's kinder to go down a controlled comforting route because they 'catch on' quicker and there's less distress overall in the long run.

You could try feeding almost to sleep and then shh and pat, or you could go about it differently and change your settling routine with a feed before, say, books and a lullaby, and then doing some form of sleep training (which would be appropriate at this age).

It's entirely up to you and what you are comfortable with, just be consistent with whatever you choose. Don't chop and change on your DD - pick one method of settling her and stick with it, for ALL sleeps, so she effectively learns the new way of going to sleep, otherwise you'll confuse her and there will be more distress in the long run.

Good luck!

#3 Xiola

Posted 02 December 2012 - 08:46 AM

I've just done it recently with my 15 month old as her sleep was going from mediocre to ridiculous!  I'm only feeding her at night time at the moment so a bit different to you but I really needed to do it as she'd wake up in the night and cry for hours until she was fed again (I'd try and lie down with her, hold her etc but nothing would get her back to sleep).  I knew it was because of feeding her to sleep so last week instead of feeding her in a total quiet and dark I started leaving a dimmed light on and talking to her gently while she feeds...just boring stuff but so that she's focussed on me the whole time.  When she's finished she still snuggles into my should like she's always done but we then walk over to the light and turn it off together and then I put her into bed so she's still awake and nods off in her cot.

Since doing this she's slept through every night.  She has a grizzle usually around 11pm but easily settles herself back to sleep instead of expecting me to still be holding her.  

Not sure if this will help at all but it can be done without crying etc.  You're just breaking the association....good luck!

#4 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 03 December 2012 - 01:39 PM

I did the day sleeps around 4-5 months.

I got my son a sleep friend (muzzie - a little piece of muslin cloth) and put that between us while feeding for a week or so, so it smelled "right".   Then I went cold turkey.  I cheated a bit at first and got him good and sleepy by walking to the shop and back in the ergo, and then rocking him in my arms until he yawned and started to flutter his eyes before putting him down and patting.  

He got it within a few days.  

He then had a good long phase of being able to self settle after a brief rock/lullabye and put down, but somehow he lost it at 9 months (when we went on holidays) and needs me to shh and pat.   He still self settles for daycare though.

I night weaned him twice - 9 months and then (after I drifted back due to a horrendous series of ear infections) again at 12 months.  Again it was cold turkey.  The first time I did "comfort settling" which is like CC but you don't time it, you just listen to the intensity of the crying before you go back in.   The second time I just did lying him back down and shh/patting.   As PP said there was still a fair bit of frustrated crying as bub can't understand why you won't help him sleep.

I have to say the CC worked "better", in that he slept though afterwards, whereas now he still wakes once about half the time.  But I found it too distressing for me and couldn't face doing it again every time his schedule got out of whack, whereas the patting I can do.

It's absolutely key to make sure that for the first week or so of night weaning you put them down fairly awake, but with a good "bank" of tiredness (like a swim or a good play in the park), so you can do the "work" of teaching to sleep at 7pm when they are really tired, and you are awake and have the strength to do it (and a glass of wine after).  If you miss that chance you will have more work to do in the middle of the night when you are tired and desperate and they have just had a nap and are rearing to go.

The other lesson I learned was if you wind up with an early riser don't be tempted to do an early morning feed and let them fall asleep in your bed to grab an extra few hours sleep.   My son was onto that in a flash and 5.30 became 5.00 became 4.00 and before I knew it I was feeding mutiple times overnight again.

#5 MrsFeral247

Posted 03 December 2012 - 03:56 PM

I've been googling this all day, then got overwhelmed so came in for my EB fix and see this topic!

Unfortunately as a PP mentioned, even the no cry options still involve crying. My DD is very attached to feeding to sleep and apart from the occasional time in the car or ergo, every single other sleep she has been fed to sleep.

My husband is a shiftworker who also travels for work, so night settling is solely up to me. Im still not entirely convinced Im ready to do anything yet, but Im still very interested in what options there are.

I have a feeling it will have to be cold turkey with my bub. She is far too attached for a gradual process and she doesn't really have the drowsy period the books all talk about.

I do wish i never let this habit form. Lesson learnt sad.gif

#6 MummyKylie

Posted 04 December 2012 - 10:29 PM

OP I was about to put almost the exact same post up (except my DS is 3.5 months and still will only sleep in the ergo during the day) when I came across this!
I'm not quite ready to start the process just yet as I'm about to go on holidays to my parents.
Please give feedback on how you went and what method you used.
Good luck!

#7 ReadySetRace

Posted 04 December 2012 - 10:43 PM

DD1 fed to sleep until 12 months but I went to work at 4 months - she learnt to go to sleep for other people in different ways (sung to and rocked by our nanny, cuddled in our bed and with a bottle for Daddy).

I did it the gradual way at 12 months - put her to bed more and more alert. If not alert enough would give her a little jiggle to wake her or talk loudly. There was no prolonged crying - if she cried I got her up and did the routine again!! Annoying but she got it soon after 12 months.  We also had a sleep toy and the same lullaby playing in her room.  She was always good at sleeping through once I got her to sleep so can't comment on that.

#8 Cranky Kitten

Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:22 AM

I used some of the methods from No Cry Sleep Solution - a bit of a deceptive name because there is a bit of crying involved, but no leaving them to cry alone while they figure it out for themselves. DS fed to sleep until around 9 months when I developed an aversion to the sensation of his comfort suck so had to start ending his feeds as soon as he stopped actively drinking. He fussed for a bit but soon came to accept cuddles instead.

We have a very consistent night time ritual, I think this helps prepare him that sleep time is coming as he starts yawning as soon as he gets out of the bath these days and goes down relatively easily when not in the middle of teething purgatory.

#9 smum

Posted 16 December 2012 - 04:17 AM

You might like the work of a US paed called Dr Jay Gordon who has great gentle ideas on what he calls 'changing night time sleep associations', but its really about weaning & night weaning.

it may pay to bring in another sleep association that others can do or give, now before you stop feeding to sleep. Many of my friends who have returned to work outside the home say that their wee ones just settled differently for others but that both mum & baby needed that feeding to sleep nurturing to reconnect after being away from each other during the work hours.

Feeding to sleep is really normal for babies, the sleepy hormones in breastmilk were made for that exact thing original.gif

Good luck mummas.



Reply to this topic



  


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win $1000 with Sea-Band

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

Misery loves Facebook

Facebook users are often criticised for only showing the positive, fun parts of their lives. But what about when it swings the other way, when someone uses it for the purposes of ranting about their children all the time, never posting anything positive?

Toddler's adorable impersonation of pregnant mum

Little Ellis has noticed his mum is walking differently lately, and his impersonation of her is hilarious.

'Forgotten baby syndrome' can happen to any one of us

When my third child was two months old, I strapped her into her car seat, then promptly forgot all about her. But she survived, unharmed, because it was winter, and I was lucky.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

Ten things I've learned about motherhood

Never take a good night's sleep for granted. There is no logic like toddler logic. Standing on Lego hurts every time. These are the truths of parenthood.

Parenting past the toddler years: what's next?

Your baby has grown into a toddler, and now your toddler is fast approaching the preschooler stage. What can you expect as a parent?

Tips on what to pack in your hospital bag

Before giving birth I read countless lists, ended up overpacking just a little, and now know what I'll actually want to pack next time.

New app keeps tabs on your kids at childcare

Popular new technology lets parents know what their children are up to at childcare - but not everyone is a fan.

21 things I love about newborns

There?s an irresistible magic about newborns. Of course they're not all smiles and rainbows, but they are undeniably cute and remarkable in so, so many ways.

Kid-friendly hairdressers: who says haircuts can?t be fun?

I?ve found some salons who boast setups ideal for children ? you name it, they?ve thought of it. All are designed to make haircuts fun rather than stressful.

Labour pain relief may reduce risk of postnatal depression: study

Postnatal depression is a complex condition, but researchers say pain relief during labour may help some women.

Why we need better support for men after miscarriage

In a recent study, 85 per cent of men admitted feeling sadness after their partner miscarried, but almost half said they didn't share their feelings at all. What can be done to help them?

Mum in business: Kristy Chong

Kristy Chong is the managing director of Australian-made Modibodi underwear and a mum to Lucas, 6, Jason, 4, and Isaac, 6 months. She shares her advice for other mums thinking about starting their own businesses.

From toddler to preschooler: a developmental roadmap

So your toddler is growing up and will soon be entering the preschooler years. Here are a few ways to frame their development that will help you understand what?s going in those beautiful, funny, clever little heads of theirs.

Mum sacrifices an eye for her unborn baby

Motherhood is full of sacrifices, but this woman has made a life-altering one - and her baby hasn't even been born.

A grandparent by any other name

A growing number of grandparents are shunning tradition and going against conventional names - but a grandparent by any other name still gives the same awesome cuddles and kisses.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

When labour just doesn't happen

After three healthy kids, I can?t help feeling I?ve been a little ripped off. I missed out on something I had always wanted to experience, and now I?ll never get the chance.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Win $1000 with Sea-Band

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.