Jump to content

Breaking feeding to sleep
how long did it take you?


8 replies to this topic

#1 Flutters

Posted 01 December 2012 - 08:20 PM

I'm not sure if this should be here or in the BF section, but I wanted to hear from others who have broken the feed to sleep routine. My DD is 10 months old and her sleeping has always been hit & miss. She has only just started having day sleeps in her cot (after feeding to sleep) in the last 3 weeks - before then it was only in my arms. She wants to feed to sleep every single nap & Im going back to work 1st week of Jan. I would LOVE to break the feed to sleep association she has, to be honest I'm getting jack of it. It took me 3 hours from dinner to get her into bed tonight....ahhhhh enough!

So for those of you who have done it - how did you do it? Cold turkey, or slowly..and roughly how long did it take. I am going to have to suck it up & try the shhhhh pat during the day, which is a bit sad because I am really enjoying our time together now she doesn't have to sleep on me, and I only have a month left with her full time before going back to work 3 days a week. Unfortunately I can't see breaking feed to sleep for nights before I've broken it for day sleeps. Plus I would like to give up BFing in the next couple of months.

So anyone want to share how they did it & how long it took? Ta!

#2 axiomae

Posted 02 December 2012 - 08:33 AM

Just warning you it will be hard - there will be tears and crying. Even the 'no-cry' methods involve a lot of crying because you're changing the rules on baby, so to speak, and she needs to learn a new way to go to sleep. Read up on self-settling and different ways to go about it. There are gentler methods, which take longer and have their pros and cons. Some people say it's kinder because you don't leave the baby when they're crying, others think it's kinder to go down a controlled comforting route because they 'catch on' quicker and there's less distress overall in the long run.

You could try feeding almost to sleep and then shh and pat, or you could go about it differently and change your settling routine with a feed before, say, books and a lullaby, and then doing some form of sleep training (which would be appropriate at this age).

It's entirely up to you and what you are comfortable with, just be consistent with whatever you choose. Don't chop and change on your DD - pick one method of settling her and stick with it, for ALL sleeps, so she effectively learns the new way of going to sleep, otherwise you'll confuse her and there will be more distress in the long run.

Good luck!

#3 Xiola

Posted 02 December 2012 - 08:46 AM

I've just done it recently with my 15 month old as her sleep was going from mediocre to ridiculous!  I'm only feeding her at night time at the moment so a bit different to you but I really needed to do it as she'd wake up in the night and cry for hours until she was fed again (I'd try and lie down with her, hold her etc but nothing would get her back to sleep).  I knew it was because of feeding her to sleep so last week instead of feeding her in a total quiet and dark I started leaving a dimmed light on and talking to her gently while she feeds...just boring stuff but so that she's focussed on me the whole time.  When she's finished she still snuggles into my should like she's always done but we then walk over to the light and turn it off together and then I put her into bed so she's still awake and nods off in her cot.

Since doing this she's slept through every night.  She has a grizzle usually around 11pm but easily settles herself back to sleep instead of expecting me to still be holding her.  

Not sure if this will help at all but it can be done without crying etc.  You're just breaking the association....good luck!

#4 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 03 December 2012 - 01:39 PM

I did the day sleeps around 4-5 months.

I got my son a sleep friend (muzzie - a little piece of muslin cloth) and put that between us while feeding for a week or so, so it smelled "right".   Then I went cold turkey.  I cheated a bit at first and got him good and sleepy by walking to the shop and back in the ergo, and then rocking him in my arms until he yawned and started to flutter his eyes before putting him down and patting.  

He got it within a few days.  

He then had a good long phase of being able to self settle after a brief rock/lullabye and put down, but somehow he lost it at 9 months (when we went on holidays) and needs me to shh and pat.   He still self settles for daycare though.

I night weaned him twice - 9 months and then (after I drifted back due to a horrendous series of ear infections) again at 12 months.  Again it was cold turkey.  The first time I did "comfort settling" which is like CC but you don't time it, you just listen to the intensity of the crying before you go back in.   The second time I just did lying him back down and shh/patting.   As PP said there was still a fair bit of frustrated crying as bub can't understand why you won't help him sleep.

I have to say the CC worked "better", in that he slept though afterwards, whereas now he still wakes once about half the time.  But I found it too distressing for me and couldn't face doing it again every time his schedule got out of whack, whereas the patting I can do.

It's absolutely key to make sure that for the first week or so of night weaning you put them down fairly awake, but with a good "bank" of tiredness (like a swim or a good play in the park), so you can do the "work" of teaching to sleep at 7pm when they are really tired, and you are awake and have the strength to do it (and a glass of wine after).  If you miss that chance you will have more work to do in the middle of the night when you are tired and desperate and they have just had a nap and are rearing to go.

The other lesson I learned was if you wind up with an early riser don't be tempted to do an early morning feed and let them fall asleep in your bed to grab an extra few hours sleep.   My son was onto that in a flash and 5.30 became 5.00 became 4.00 and before I knew it I was feeding mutiple times overnight again.

#5 MrsFeral247

Posted 03 December 2012 - 03:56 PM

I've been googling this all day, then got overwhelmed so came in for my EB fix and see this topic!

Unfortunately as a PP mentioned, even the no cry options still involve crying. My DD is very attached to feeding to sleep and apart from the occasional time in the car or ergo, every single other sleep she has been fed to sleep.

My husband is a shiftworker who also travels for work, so night settling is solely up to me. Im still not entirely convinced Im ready to do anything yet, but Im still very interested in what options there are.

I have a feeling it will have to be cold turkey with my bub. She is far too attached for a gradual process and she doesn't really have the drowsy period the books all talk about.

I do wish i never let this habit form. Lesson learnt sad.gif

#6 MummyKylie

Posted 04 December 2012 - 10:29 PM

OP I was about to put almost the exact same post up (except my DS is 3.5 months and still will only sleep in the ergo during the day) when I came across this!
I'm not quite ready to start the process just yet as I'm about to go on holidays to my parents.
Please give feedback on how you went and what method you used.
Good luck!

#7 ReadySetRace

Posted 04 December 2012 - 10:43 PM

DD1 fed to sleep until 12 months but I went to work at 4 months - she learnt to go to sleep for other people in different ways (sung to and rocked by our nanny, cuddled in our bed and with a bottle for Daddy).

I did it the gradual way at 12 months - put her to bed more and more alert. If not alert enough would give her a little jiggle to wake her or talk loudly. There was no prolonged crying - if she cried I got her up and did the routine again!! Annoying but she got it soon after 12 months.  We also had a sleep toy and the same lullaby playing in her room.  She was always good at sleeping through once I got her to sleep so can't comment on that.

#8 Cranky Kitten

Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:22 AM

I used some of the methods from No Cry Sleep Solution - a bit of a deceptive name because there is a bit of crying involved, but no leaving them to cry alone while they figure it out for themselves. DS fed to sleep until around 9 months when I developed an aversion to the sensation of his comfort suck so had to start ending his feeds as soon as he stopped actively drinking. He fussed for a bit but soon came to accept cuddles instead.

We have a very consistent night time ritual, I think this helps prepare him that sleep time is coming as he starts yawning as soon as he gets out of the bath these days and goes down relatively easily when not in the middle of teething purgatory.

#9 smum

Posted 16 December 2012 - 04:17 AM

You might like the work of a US paed called Dr Jay Gordon who has great gentle ideas on what he calls 'changing night time sleep associations', but its really about weaning & night weaning.

it may pay to bring in another sleep association that others can do or give, now before you stop feeding to sleep. Many of my friends who have returned to work outside the home say that their wee ones just settled differently for others but that both mum & baby needed that feeding to sleep nurturing to reconnect after being away from each other during the work hours.

Feeding to sleep is really normal for babies, the sleepy hormones in breastmilk were made for that exact thing original.gif

Good luck mummas.



Reply to this topic



  


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

A mum's tragic battle against inflammatory breast cancer

At just 37 years of age, with two young sons, Vicki was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. Now her family wants all women to know the symptoms.

The business of babies around the world

Pregnancy and birth is an intriguing process no matter where you are in the world. One soon-to-be father gleans wisdom from a new guide.

Finding a positive path through IVF

It’s not surprising that IVF is often seen as a negative journey towards the ultimate positive, but having a glass-half-full approach can make a big difference to the experience.

Giving strangers the gift of parenthood

A mum explains why she and her husband are choosing to gift their leftover embryos to help strangers achieve their dream of parenthood.

Does morning sickness get better or worse with each child?

Just as every baby is unique, so is every pregnancy. And that means morning sickness can vary a lot, too.

What's so wrong with looking 'mumsy', anyway?

Why is it that the word ‘mumsy’ has connotations of such a negative nature – but seems to be the only other option apart from ‘yummy’?

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

The 'yucky' illness that took over my life

I have a chronic illness nobody likes to discuss, as it involves toilet talk. But it needs to be talked about.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.