Jump to content

Daycare for socialization?


  • Please log in to reply
28 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:22 PM

My DS is nearly 14 months old he LOVES other kids.

I work 2 days a week and my parents look after him.

Unfortunately DS doesn't have many friends his age and I find it hard to catch up with people. We were going to play group but it is a bit too far away for us.

He has been on the wait list for day care for a year and they finally will have a spot for him in January. I'm not sure what day yet and if it will be on the days I work.

Do you think day care is a good for socialization or is he too young? I was thinking if he goes on a day that I have off he could go for a few hours and not a whole day.

#2 axiomae

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:28 PM

Go for it. I was a full time daycare child from 10 months (mum was a single mum and needed to work) and I only have very happy memories of daycare as a kid. If you LO loves others they'll probably love it!

#3 wickle pickle

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:31 PM

I think it sounds like a great idea. Both my kids started daycare just before they were 2 (so a bit older than yours) 2 mornings a week just for the socialisation etc.

It's probably even better if it's not on a day you work (at least initially) as that means if he really doesn't like it (or you don't like it either, for some reason) you can pull him out quite easily. And you will be able to get him settled in more easily if you're not having to drop and run to work...

I would definitely do it unless it is going to cost you a heap of money...

#4 cinnabubble

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:38 PM

I think good daycare is brilliant for kids. Mine have done two days a week since they were 14 and 22 months and I can't think of one negative about it.

People will tell you that kids don't "need" to be around other kids til they're at least three. Both of mine have absolutely adored having friends and peers around them and it helped them both, but especially the elder, realise that she wasn't the only person in the world.

#5 Madeline's Mum

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:40 PM

We just put H into Family Day Care for 2 half days for this exact reason. DH is still a stay at home dad but H needed other stimuli and other kids.

I feel really great about the decision, not really sad about it at all (like I originally felt when we first contemplated it at 5 months old).

#6 Fright bat

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:45 PM

There is a lot of evidence on this. Day care kids are better socialized when they start school, but within 2 years of schooling there is no difference.

That's population level evidence. Only you know your individual child. If a child likes kids an are happy to be away from parents they will enjoy it. If they are by nature a bit more shy and childcare causes distress, then no need to push it (unless you need it for work) If it is non essential, then you can always pull him out.

The only points I would make though are:
1. Try for two days a week. Once a week distresses many kids as they are not there enough to really get used to it. For this reason some childcares won't take kids for one day a week.
2. Don't take him for just a few hours. Childcares have daily schedules and programs, he will settle in better and enjoy it more if he knows and is happy with their routine.

If you want him socialized for a few hours at 14 months, make the effort to take him to playgroup. At a couple hours once a week, your son will take forever to learn the childcare is fun and safe and honestly, will just get distressed, and you'll end up pullin him out under the misconception that he's not ready or something.

Kids need regularity and routine and these make them feel safe. A couple hours once a week is setting yourself up for failure.

#7 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:52 PM

Play group is too hard to get to now that I don't have a car and it isn't at a very good time anymore so that's not something we can commit to every week.

I think he'll enjoy it as he likes crèche at the gym. I can't afford to send him 2 days unless I pick the days that I'm works but my parents want him on both days.

This day care centre is happy to have him for a few hours, they don't stick to any particular routine except for lunchtime which is why I chose this day care centre as they are happy to cater to the child's individual needs and copy the at home routine as much as possible.

#8 opethmum

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:56 PM

I sent my DD at 16 months as she was not getting enough of what she needed. That was socialisation. We sent her 2 days a week (due to the centre minimum days was 2 days) and she absolutely loved it. Sure it was daunting at first but seeing her relating to her peer group is priceless and shoring up little friendships she has is wonderful.

Edited by opethmum, 30 November 2012 - 06:05 PM.


#9 Julie3Girls

Posted 30 November 2012 - 06:15 PM

At that age, if I didn't have to do it for work, I probably wouldn't bother. I found "socialisation" was fine through playgroup and library story time. But I had those options.

If it was the only option, and I felt it necessary, I would do it for a full day, on my work day. Or if you really want to do short hours, let your parents pick him up.  Your parents are still getting him for a full day, I don't think I'd want to give up another one of my days.

So I guess, I don't see it as neccessary, but it certainly won't hurt him either.

I'd also check out the ages of the other kids in the room on the day they are offering. Both in terms of deciding to do, and how long to send him. Most daycares run the nursery room (0-2) on the child's schedule. So the kids are napping at all different times. Not much point sending him for socialisation if he is only there for a couple of hours when the others are all napping. Or if the majority of the kids in the room are all much younger.

#10 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 30 November 2012 - 06:34 PM

Yeah I might send him for a whole day on one of my work days.  My parents live an hour away from me so they won't be able to pick him up.

I'll see how he gets on.

#11 Copacetic

Posted 30 November 2012 - 06:49 PM

QUOTE
This day care centre is happy to have him for a few hours, they don't stick to any particular routine except for lunchtime which is why I chose this day care centre as they are happy to cater to the child's individual needs and copy the at home routine as much as possible.


If you are sending him for socialisation, then I don't really see the point of the above? Social interaction isn't just about making friends, it's about learning new routines and new structure.

#12 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 30 November 2012 - 06:53 PM

QUOTE (Copacetic @ 30/11/2012, 06:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If you are sending him for socialisation, then I don't really see the point of the above? Social interaction isn't just about making friends, it's about learning new routines and new structure.


Well my main reason for sending him is so that he can play with other kids and be around other children. Right now he doesn't see any other young people unless it's passing them at the shops.

#13 Busydays

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:04 PM

I wouldn't. I don't agree that toddlers need professional socialisation. That's what pre-school is for, when they are starting to get the idea about friends & playing together. Playing at the park, play group, weekly classes are good at that age.

#14 Maple Leaf

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:29 PM

I did the library story time, playgroup, catching up with friends who have kids the same age and park route with my girls.

Daycare wasn't for us.

Edited by Maple Leaf, 30 November 2012 - 07:30 PM.


#15 cinnabubble

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:44 PM

OP, storytime at the library etc do SFA for getting a child to spend time with their peers. One hour a week at gymbaroo or a couple at playgroup are kind of pointless. They're more for the mothers who enjoy that kind of thing.

My children have done pretty much nothing but play with their peers at daycare -- when they're not marching around the courtyard being whipped and humiliated for being out of time with the other toddlers. True fact.

#16 Maple Leaf

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:47 PM

QUOTE
OP, storytime at the library etc do SFA for getting a child to spend time with their peers.


It might depend on which library you go to? Ours has been pretty good, they have a social time afterwards with toys and craft activities and also an outdoor park on site where they all play together.

But yes, reading a story and then leaving does nothing.

#17 danielle1985

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:50 PM

I put my son in just after his first birthday, one day a week at first and now 2. Admittedly it was so I could work but now even if I go on Mat leave in the future I will not be pulling him out as he loves it so much. He loves spending time with the other kids and has just flourished. I don't think it is to young at all.

#18 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:52 PM


QUOTE (4boysandme @ 30/11/2012, 08:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wouldn't. I don't agree that toddlers need professional socialisation. That's what pre-school is for, when they are starting to get the idea about friends & playing together. Playing at the park, play group, weekly classes are good at that age.



QUOTE (Maple Leaf @ 30/11/2012, 08:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I did the library story time, playgroup, catching up with friends who have kids the same age and park route with my girls.

Daycare wasn't for us.


As stated in my OP play group isn't an option for us.

I' take DS to the park nearly everyday and we have never once seen another child there so he's not likely to make any friends that way.

#19 Julie3Girls

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:56 PM

QUOTE
OP, storytime at the library etc do SFA for getting a child to spend time with their peers.One hour a week at gymbaroo or a couple at playgroup are kind of pointless. They're more for the mothers who enjoy that kind of thing


It might depend on which library you go to?

Definitely depends on your library.
Our storytime has stories, music, singing and dancing. The kids are up interacting with each other, sometimes acting out the story.
Then a craft session afterwards, where the kids are all on the floor working together.

Same with playgroup - I took my girls to a playgroup that was fantastic. Both DD2 and DD3 made friends there who went on to become very close friends. The age bracket of 0-5 meant they got to socialise with kids of all sorts of different ages, not just a limited age group at daycare.

It really depends on the setup of these sorts of things, and the group of parents and kids who attend. And what is available to you. The OP has already said she doesn't have this option.

And honestly, I think daycare is the same. You need the right mix of kids is you really want it to be useful for "socialisation".  My DD2 was in a 0-2 room, with the majority of the kids being 5+ months younger than her. It was great in some respects - the little ones would sleep far more than she did, so she had a lot of dedicated time with the carer. But in terms of socialising with peers, it was useless.

Edited by Julie3Girls, 30 November 2012 - 08:00 PM.


#20 Feral Becky

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:58 PM

Sunnycat, yours is the parents with the unfenced pool isn't it? I'd do two days daycare for my piece of mind.

But then I have a real anxiety about drowning.

#21 girltribe4

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:59 PM

On Tuesdays I have 2 17m olds that would disagree with daycare not being the place to socialize , they have a great time together and ''play'' side by side quite a bit. The little girl who has only been coming a few weeks knows the little boys name too biggrin.gif

#22 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:02 PM

QUOTE (LindsayMK @ 30/11/2012, 08:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sunnycat, yours is the parents with the unfenced pool isn't it? I'd do two days daycare for my piece of mind.

But then I have a real anxiety about drowning.


Yeah that's me. But I do trust my parents to look after DS an have told them my concerns about the pool to which thy agree. If I had any hesitation about their ability to care for him I wouldn't let them look after him.

#23 Feral Becky

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:06 PM

QUOTE (Sunnycat @ 30/11/2012, 08:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah that's me. But I do trust my parents to look after DS an have told them my concerns about the pool to which thy agree. If I had any hesitation about their ability to care for him I wouldn't let them look after him.



Don't worry, it's me, I have this 'thing' original.gif

#24 Domestic Goddess

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:35 PM

I put DS in daycare when he was 13 months. It was recommended by the Early Childhood Intervention at the time. He was already going to a weekly playgroup, but other than that he was stuck with "just mum" 24/7.
I put him in family daycare and it was ok. Only 1 child of similar age and the rest were older. So not much to socialize with.
Thus I tried to get him in 1 more day, but the lady couldn't fit him in so I decided to find a family day carer who could have him for 2 days. Yet the same thing happened. He's been in 3 different FDC's and each and every one of them did not have any kids of similar age for him to socialize with.

He started to go to a big center just before he turned 2 and it has been the best decision I've made regarding daycare for DS. He's in a room full of peers. All the kids are between 2 and 3 and this means he's been copying the children's behaviour a lot more. (The good and the bad ofcourse). His speech is heaps better, his eye contact is slightly improving, his communication skills are slowly improving. I have nothing but praise for the center.

So to answer your question simply: YES. Go for it! What do you have to loose? Give it a go and if he doesn't like it, you can always pull out and look for other options like playgroups.
If you're worried about putting him in a center, you can try FDC as well?

#25 casime

Posted 01 December 2012 - 07:01 AM

DS goes three days a week as I'm studying full time, and he loves it.   No tears at drop off, and he crawls off straight away to the toys or to the girls.  When I go to pick him up he's always in the middle of a group of kids playing.  I think it's great for him, as he's never around other kids otherwise, and being a single mum I 'm the sole carer, but now he's been going to daycare he'll happily go to other people without getting upset.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Five-year-old shoots nine-month-old brother dead

A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.

'Is that baby yours?'

She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.

Episiotomy in childbirth: not just 'a little snip'

Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.

Toddler aggression not caused by language delays after all: study

The logic was that children who don’t have the language to fully express themselves will lash out when they’re misunderstood. Not anymore.

Why we chose to adopt a child with Down sydrome

Everyone in foster care (and really in life) has something that makes them more vulnerable. We just know what our son's is.

Object of desire

Curvy mums make clever babies

Scientists appear to have discovered why women have evolved to have more curves than men – shapely thighs and bottoms lead to healthier babies.

'We'll make sure they know how much she loved them'

A first-time mum will never get to hold her four newborns, dying shortly after giving birth to the quadruplets.

The baby names NZ knocked back in 2014

A New Zealander has tried to name their baby Senior Constable but didn't get away with it - and numbering children is also a no-no.

How can you go into labour without knowing you're pregnant?

For most of us, the idea that a woman could carry a child to full-term without knowing she is pregnant is mind-boggling.

Will you get to the hospital in time?

Worrying your baby will be delivered by the roadside is a common concern for many mothers-to-be. So how likely are you to be caught short?

Video: Funny 'Lips Are Moving' parody just for mums

Meghan Trainor's song 'Lips Are Moving' was already a hit, but now it's been turned into a hilarious parody that is set to be very popular with frustrated mums everywhere.

Out with the clutter

Decluttering by the numbers: take the 30-day challenge

Forget the 5:2 diet - Twitter's 30-day declutter challenge will have your house back in shape in no time (well, a month).

Parents, don't be too hard on yourselves

We need to stop damning parents of today, and embrace their appetite for knowledge instead.

Is my baby normal?

There are chubby Buddha babies and there are thin, smaller babies. Neither are right or wrong, they are all 'normal'.

When an older sibling starts school

When one child goes to ‘big school’ and leaves the other behind, it can cause deep upset. Here's how to make the transition easier.

Stray cat saves abandoned baby

They say dogs are man's best friend, but one cat has proven felines can be just as devoted to their human companions.

How strangers are helping a mum's wish come true after her death

A mum of five, Liz Marquez wanted to breastfeed her premmie son for a year. So when she passed away suddenly, her friends - and strangers - stepped in to help.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

Win with The Boxtrolls

To celebrate the release of The Boxtrolls on 3D Blu-ray, DVD & Digital with UltraViolet, we're giving you the chance to win a Boxtroll stationary package and DVD.

 

School Term 1

Get after-school care sorted

Wait lists too long at OSHC? Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.