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Daycare for socialization?


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#1 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:22 PM

My DS is nearly 14 months old he LOVES other kids.

I work 2 days a week and my parents look after him.

Unfortunately DS doesn't have many friends his age and I find it hard to catch up with people. We were going to play group but it is a bit too far away for us.

He has been on the wait list for day care for a year and they finally will have a spot for him in January. I'm not sure what day yet and if it will be on the days I work.

Do you think day care is a good for socialization or is he too young? I was thinking if he goes on a day that I have off he could go for a few hours and not a whole day.

#2 axiomae

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:28 PM

Go for it. I was a full time daycare child from 10 months (mum was a single mum and needed to work) and I only have very happy memories of daycare as a kid. If you LO loves others they'll probably love it!

#3 wickle pickle

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:31 PM

I think it sounds like a great idea. Both my kids started daycare just before they were 2 (so a bit older than yours) 2 mornings a week just for the socialisation etc.

It's probably even better if it's not on a day you work (at least initially) as that means if he really doesn't like it (or you don't like it either, for some reason) you can pull him out quite easily. And you will be able to get him settled in more easily if you're not having to drop and run to work...

I would definitely do it unless it is going to cost you a heap of money...

#4 cinnabubble

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:38 PM

I think good daycare is brilliant for kids. Mine have done two days a week since they were 14 and 22 months and I can't think of one negative about it.

People will tell you that kids don't "need" to be around other kids til they're at least three. Both of mine have absolutely adored having friends and peers around them and it helped them both, but especially the elder, realise that she wasn't the only person in the world.

#5 Madeline's Mum

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:40 PM

We just put H into Family Day Care for 2 half days for this exact reason. DH is still a stay at home dad but H needed other stimuli and other kids.

I feel really great about the decision, not really sad about it at all (like I originally felt when we first contemplated it at 5 months old).

#6 Agnodice the Feral

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:45 PM

There is a lot of evidence on this. Day care kids are better socialized when they start school, but within 2 years of schooling there is no difference.

That's population level evidence. Only you know your individual child. If a child likes kids an are happy to be away from parents they will enjoy it. If they are by nature a bit more shy and childcare causes distress, then no need to push it (unless you need it for work) If it is non essential, then you can always pull him out.

The only points I would make though are:
1. Try for two days a week. Once a week distresses many kids as they are not there enough to really get used to it. For this reason some childcares won't take kids for one day a week.
2. Don't take him for just a few hours. Childcares have daily schedules and programs, he will settle in better and enjoy it more if he knows and is happy with their routine.

If you want him socialized for a few hours at 14 months, make the effort to take him to playgroup. At a couple hours once a week, your son will take forever to learn the childcare is fun and safe and honestly, will just get distressed, and you'll end up pullin him out under the misconception that he's not ready or something.

Kids need regularity and routine and these make them feel safe. A couple hours once a week is setting yourself up for failure.

#7 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:52 PM

Play group is too hard to get to now that I don't have a car and it isn't at a very good time anymore so that's not something we can commit to every week.

I think he'll enjoy it as he likes crèche at the gym. I can't afford to send him 2 days unless I pick the days that I'm works but my parents want him on both days.

This day care centre is happy to have him for a few hours, they don't stick to any particular routine except for lunchtime which is why I chose this day care centre as they are happy to cater to the child's individual needs and copy the at home routine as much as possible.

#8 opethmum

Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:56 PM

I sent my DD at 16 months as she was not getting enough of what she needed. That was socialisation. We sent her 2 days a week (due to the centre minimum days was 2 days) and she absolutely loved it. Sure it was daunting at first but seeing her relating to her peer group is priceless and shoring up little friendships she has is wonderful.

Edited by opethmum, 30 November 2012 - 06:05 PM.


#9 Julie3Girls

Posted 30 November 2012 - 06:15 PM

At that age, if I didn't have to do it for work, I probably wouldn't bother. I found "socialisation" was fine through playgroup and library story time. But I had those options.

If it was the only option, and I felt it necessary, I would do it for a full day, on my work day. Or if you really want to do short hours, let your parents pick him up.  Your parents are still getting him for a full day, I don't think I'd want to give up another one of my days.

So I guess, I don't see it as neccessary, but it certainly won't hurt him either.

I'd also check out the ages of the other kids in the room on the day they are offering. Both in terms of deciding to do, and how long to send him. Most daycares run the nursery room (0-2) on the child's schedule. So the kids are napping at all different times. Not much point sending him for socialisation if he is only there for a couple of hours when the others are all napping. Or if the majority of the kids in the room are all much younger.

#10 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 30 November 2012 - 06:34 PM

Yeah I might send him for a whole day on one of my work days.  My parents live an hour away from me so they won't be able to pick him up.

I'll see how he gets on.

#11 Copacetic

Posted 30 November 2012 - 06:49 PM

QUOTE
This day care centre is happy to have him for a few hours, they don't stick to any particular routine except for lunchtime which is why I chose this day care centre as they are happy to cater to the child's individual needs and copy the at home routine as much as possible.


If you are sending him for socialisation, then I don't really see the point of the above? Social interaction isn't just about making friends, it's about learning new routines and new structure.

#12 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 30 November 2012 - 06:53 PM

QUOTE (Copacetic @ 30/11/2012, 06:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If you are sending him for socialisation, then I don't really see the point of the above? Social interaction isn't just about making friends, it's about learning new routines and new structure.


Well my main reason for sending him is so that he can play with other kids and be around other children. Right now he doesn't see any other young people unless it's passing them at the shops.

#13 Busydays

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:04 PM

I wouldn't. I don't agree that toddlers need professional socialisation. That's what pre-school is for, when they are starting to get the idea about friends & playing together. Playing at the park, play group, weekly classes are good at that age.

#14 Cat People

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:13 PM

I wouldn't do it purely for socialisation.  I don't believe daycare is a realistic setting for playing and making friends and agree with pp; they don't need 'professional' socialisation.

#15 Maple Leaf

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:29 PM

I did the library story time, playgroup, catching up with friends who have kids the same age and park route with my girls.

Daycare wasn't for us.

Edited by Maple Leaf, 30 November 2012 - 07:30 PM.


#16 cinnabubble

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:44 PM

OP, storytime at the library etc do SFA for getting a child to spend time with their peers. One hour a week at gymbaroo or a couple at playgroup are kind of pointless. They're more for the mothers who enjoy that kind of thing.

My children have done pretty much nothing but play with their peers at daycare -- when they're not marching around the courtyard being whipped and humiliated for being out of time with the other toddlers. True fact.

#17 Maple Leaf

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:47 PM

QUOTE
OP, storytime at the library etc do SFA for getting a child to spend time with their peers.


It might depend on which library you go to? Ours has been pretty good, they have a social time afterwards with toys and craft activities and also an outdoor park on site where they all play together.

But yes, reading a story and then leaving does nothing.

#18 danielle1985

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:50 PM

I put my son in just after his first birthday, one day a week at first and now 2. Admittedly it was so I could work but now even if I go on Mat leave in the future I will not be pulling him out as he loves it so much. He loves spending time with the other kids and has just flourished. I don't think it is to young at all.

#19 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:52 PM


QUOTE (4boysandme @ 30/11/2012, 08:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wouldn't. I don't agree that toddlers need professional socialisation. That's what pre-school is for, when they are starting to get the idea about friends & playing together. Playing at the park, play group, weekly classes are good at that age.



QUOTE (Maple Leaf @ 30/11/2012, 08:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I did the library story time, playgroup, catching up with friends who have kids the same age and park route with my girls.

Daycare wasn't for us.


As stated in my OP play group isn't an option for us.

I' take DS to the park nearly everyday and we have never once seen another child there so he's not likely to make any friends that way.

#20 Julie3Girls

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:56 PM

QUOTE
OP, storytime at the library etc do SFA for getting a child to spend time with their peers.One hour a week at gymbaroo or a couple at playgroup are kind of pointless. They're more for the mothers who enjoy that kind of thing


It might depend on which library you go to?

Definitely depends on your library.
Our storytime has stories, music, singing and dancing. The kids are up interacting with each other, sometimes acting out the story.
Then a craft session afterwards, where the kids are all on the floor working together.

Same with playgroup - I took my girls to a playgroup that was fantastic. Both DD2 and DD3 made friends there who went on to become very close friends. The age bracket of 0-5 meant they got to socialise with kids of all sorts of different ages, not just a limited age group at daycare.

It really depends on the setup of these sorts of things, and the group of parents and kids who attend. And what is available to you. The OP has already said she doesn't have this option.

And honestly, I think daycare is the same. You need the right mix of kids is you really want it to be useful for "socialisation".  My DD2 was in a 0-2 room, with the majority of the kids being 5+ months younger than her. It was great in some respects - the little ones would sleep far more than she did, so she had a lot of dedicated time with the carer. But in terms of socialising with peers, it was useless.

Edited by Julie3Girls, 30 November 2012 - 08:00 PM.


#21 Feral Becky

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:58 PM

Sunnycat, yours is the parents with the unfenced pool isn't it? I'd do two days daycare for my piece of mind.

But then I have a real anxiety about drowning.

#22 girltribe4

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:59 PM

On Tuesdays I have 2 17m olds that would disagree with daycare not being the place to socialize , they have a great time together and ''play'' side by side quite a bit. The little girl who has only been coming a few weeks knows the little boys name too biggrin.gif

#23 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:02 PM

QUOTE (LindsayMK @ 30/11/2012, 08:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sunnycat, yours is the parents with the unfenced pool isn't it? I'd do two days daycare for my piece of mind.

But then I have a real anxiety about drowning.


Yeah that's me. But I do trust my parents to look after DS an have told them my concerns about the pool to which thy agree. If I had any hesitation about their ability to care for him I wouldn't let them look after him.

#24 Feral Becky

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:06 PM

QUOTE (Sunnycat @ 30/11/2012, 08:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah that's me. But I do trust my parents to look after DS an have told them my concerns about the pool to which thy agree. If I had any hesitation about their ability to care for him I wouldn't let them look after him.



Don't worry, it's me, I have this 'thing' original.gif

#25 Domestic Goddess

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:35 PM

I put DS in daycare when he was 13 months. It was recommended by the Early Childhood Intervention at the time. He was already going to a weekly playgroup, but other than that he was stuck with "just mum" 24/7.
I put him in family daycare and it was ok. Only 1 child of similar age and the rest were older. So not much to socialize with.
Thus I tried to get him in 1 more day, but the lady couldn't fit him in so I decided to find a family day carer who could have him for 2 days. Yet the same thing happened. He's been in 3 different FDC's and each and every one of them did not have any kids of similar age for him to socialize with.

He started to go to a big center just before he turned 2 and it has been the best decision I've made regarding daycare for DS. He's in a room full of peers. All the kids are between 2 and 3 and this means he's been copying the children's behaviour a lot more. (The good and the bad ofcourse). His speech is heaps better, his eye contact is slightly improving, his communication skills are slowly improving. I have nothing but praise for the center.

So to answer your question simply: YES. Go for it! What do you have to loose? Give it a go and if he doesn't like it, you can always pull out and look for other options like playgroups.
If you're worried about putting him in a center, you can try FDC as well?




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