Jump to content

How do you explain to your children that Santa brings less to poor children?


  • Please log in to reply
60 replies to this topic

#1 Broxie

Posted 30 November 2012 - 06:42 AM

So a bit of a recurrent theme in the Christmas thread is children asking about why charitable giving is necessary if Santa brings the presents. DS is too young to ask about this but I was thinking of an explanation along the lines of; Santa still brings presents to them but his options are limited. For example, he may not be able to bring an iTunes voucher because the family can't afford an iPod, and can't bring the iPod because they can't afford iTunes, or may not have electricity to recharge the iPod.
Santa might not be able to bring a bike because they may not have a mum and dad to take them to the bike park.

Anyone have any other ideas?

To the anti-santa brigade- I am aware that some people choose not to do Santa. I have decided I will and am happy with this decision. There are impoverished people in the world. Sad but true. My son doesn't need to miss out on Santa because of that. We do what we can to help. There are starving children too but I don't feel the need to deprive my son of food.

#2 Natttmumm

Posted 30 November 2012 - 06:51 AM

My DD asked whether Santa comes to everyone. I said that I think so, but its nice to give the charitable presents just in case.

She was happy with that answer. I am all for Santa but I am also careful to say that I "think" he is real and "i Hope" he will come. When they get the presents I say "maybe it was santa".

My DD is already questioning if we made up santa so I dot want to be too concrete about it as sure enough she will find out soon.



#3 casime

Posted 30 November 2012 - 06:55 AM

Depending on his age, could you say that while he gets presents from Santa and mummy and daddy and grandma, etc that some families don't have very much money and it makes them sad that they can't buy a present for their child at christmas, so by donating we get to help mummies and daddies feel better so that they can give a gift to their child too.   Take the focus off Santa and put it on to the family side of things.

#4 Futureself

Posted 30 November 2012 - 06:58 AM

I have to admit that I always thought that once my child was astute enough to be pointing out those flaws in the Santa system, then it would be time to come clean.

#5 Razman

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:02 AM

QUOTE (casime @ 30/11/2012, 07:55 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Depending on his age, could you say that while he gets presents from Santa and mummy and daddy and grandma, etc that some families don't have very much money and it makes them sad that they can't buy a present for their child at christmas, so by donating we get to help mummies and daddies feel better so that they can give a gift to their child too. Take the focus off Santa and put it on to the family side of things.
Nice explanation

#6 Expelliarmus

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:08 AM

Because Santa might come but they won't have presents from mummy and daddy and manna nanna like you do. It's to help mummies and daddies and bananas nannas.

ETA: damn you auto correct!

Edited by howdo, 30 November 2012 - 06:13 PM.


#7 cesca

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:13 AM

I've always been a bit vague about Santa when it comes to the kids' questions (at the ages of 9 and 10 I think they're only now just figuring it all out) but I've always maintained that I (and DH) buy the presents.  We then pass them on to Santa, and he will only deliver them if the kids are good.  biggrin.gif

i.e. so in the case of poor kids, it's easily explained why their parents couldn't pass on as many things to Santa.

Edited by cesca, 30 November 2012 - 07:14 AM.


#8 GoneWithTheWhinge

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:25 AM

Nothing to do with Santa, he only does small gifts here. Anything significant (size or $$ wise rather than some colouring pencils/hair ties/bubble bath) comes from us so its explained that some families don't have spare money to buy the children a present so we help them out so their children can be as excited about getting a present at Christmas as what you are.

#9 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:46 AM

That's a really big question to do with the problem of evil.  Same as "if god is all-powerful and all-knowing why do bad things happen?"  I think if the child has got to the point of asking searching questions like that, they deserve a true answer.  

Otherwise why doesn't Santa get the electricity sorted out or make their mum come home?

I plan to go with what my parents said once I asked which was that maybe once apon a time Santa was true, and we wish he was still true, so we pretend that he is, and did I want to keep pretending for a while?  

Do you believe in God in your family OP.  Maybe you could say that Santa can only do little things like toys, but the big things like poverty and war God wants people to sort out for themselves by being kind and loving.  





#10 Broxie

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:03 AM

Nope, no God in this house, and Santa brings the good stuff while we do the 'stocking stuffers'. I like Casime's explanation as DS does get gifts from Aunt, Uncle, Grandparents, my friends...

#11 baddmammajamma

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:10 AM

QUOTE (futureself @ 30/11/2012, 07:58 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have to admit that I always thought that once my child was astute enough to be pointing out those flaws in the Santa system, then it would be time to come clean.


Clearly, many of us have different approaches re Santa, but I'm with futureself on this one. My daughter (7) was a very early non-believer, but I've just had "the conversation" with my 5 year old son, who was starting to ask a lot about gifts and poor children.

Santa is not a person in our household -- Santa is a spirit that makes people feel like giving to others.

#12 tle

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:26 AM

We have 2 explanations in our house.

1.  Now that toys are so expensive Santa needs a bit of help to pay for the materials the elves need to make them. So, the parents help Santa out by giving him some money towards the costs (which is also why the parents get to say no to certain gifts like motorbikes, horses etc). Not all families can afford to do this so we help them out with donations and gifts under the wishing trees. We came up with this excuse to explain that even though their friend didn't get as many gifts as them it wasn't because they were not as well behaved.

2.  We also send gifts overseas (e.g. Operation Christmas Child) because in some countries, due to wars etc it's not safe for Santa to land there.

baddmammajamma, I love your idea about Santa being a spirit not a person. I may start using that one myself.

#13 ChunkyChook

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:37 AM

Santa brings presents to every child. Those presents are for the children who wouldnt otherwise get a present from their parents. Santa doesn't bring those presents.



#14 RichardParker

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:51 AM

Because Santa is an a*s*hole.

#15 steppy

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:54 AM

QUOTE (*Greenbag* @ 30/11/2012, 09:51 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Because Santa is an a*s*hole.


biggrin.gif

#16 HRH Countrymel

Posted 30 November 2012 - 09:06 AM

QUOTE (howdo @ 30/11/2012, 08:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Because Santa might come but they won't have presents from mummy and daddy and manna like you do. It's to help mummies and daddies and bananas.


Is this your auto correct howdo?

If so I think I am a little bit in love with it!



For Santa's disparities I remember becoming highly suspicious of the dude in the red suit at quite a young age when I would take note of the amount of presents my VERY NAUGHTY cousins would receive compared to myself ('Mummy's little angel without wings' at least for November/December!) it just didn't make sense...

My initial suspicion was that my Auntie and Uncle had supplied then themselves to make up for the fact that Father Christmas had left them nothing (not only were they naughty but they were very spoiled - it was the kind of thing that my Auntie would do!)... but when I worked out the whole ruse I was a bit relieved to tell the truth!




*edit angle to angel.... I was anything but angular at that age... or now!

Edited by countrymel, 30 November 2012 - 09:28 AM.


#17 BetteBoop

Posted 30 November 2012 - 09:19 AM

QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 30/11/2012, 08:46 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You wouldn't seriously extend the lie so far as to tell your kid some people don't have electricity so Santa won't bring them an IPod?

Think about it.  Sit down for 5 minutes and just think about it.  You don't see anything wrong with that?

The Santa lie is one thing, but digging a hole deeper and deeper to continue the lie?  When does it end?  If your child is smart enough to ask these questions, it's time to 'fess up about Santa.


People are so offended when the Santa thing is called a lie.

But it's not just one tiny lie. It often relies on a whole web of bullsh*t to stop the kid from independent thoughts. Sounds magical to me.

#18 BadCat

Posted 30 November 2012 - 09:39 AM

QUOTE (howdo @ 30/11/2012, 08:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Because Santa might come but they won't have presents from mummy and daddy and manna like you do. It's to help mummies and daddies and bananas.


This is what I would have said.

Except for the bananas.  original.gif

And BB, of course Santa is a lie.  And he requires lies to prop him up.  Some people are cool with that.  I know I am.  I don't lie about important stuff but Santa is not important.  Nothing to do with independennt thought either.  You make it sound like kids who are fed the Santa myth don't think for themselves.  This is untrue.  Just like every other person on earth, they think about what they choose to think about and let the rest slide.  For example, when was the last time you sat and pondered the nature of infinity?

#19 Broxie

Posted 30 November 2012 - 10:34 AM

QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 30/11/2012, 09:46 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You wouldn't seriously extend the lie so far as to tell your kid some people don't have electricity so Santa won't bring them an IPod?

Think about it.  Sit down for 5 minutes and just think about it.  You don't see anything wrong with that?

The Santa lie is one thing, but digging a hole deeper and deeper to continue the lie?  When does it end?  If your child is smart enough to ask these questions, it's time to 'fess up about Santa.


Well I wouldn't put an iPod under the wishing tree for that reason so... Yea, I'd tell him that

#20 JustBeige

Posted 30 November 2012 - 10:46 AM

We have always told them that Santa only brings the santa sack stuff - ie: colouring books; pencils etc.

So for the poor people, its simply that their families cant afford anything else, so thats why we donate something to help.


Now that they know santa is me, they still think the same way and this year are actually donating something from their own money for the wishing tree (well community run one)

#21 Broxie

Posted 30 November 2012 - 10:56 AM

Btw- this would depend how old he was when he asked. If he was 7 or 8 of course I'd tell him the truth. If he was 3 I'd try to keep it going a bit longer.

I never asked these types of questions. I was a pretty lackadaisical child and just kind of accepted what I was told without question. I figured it out around 8 years old I think. So DS may never even ask, just wanted to be prepared in case.

#22 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 30 November 2012 - 11:10 AM

QUOTE (*Greenbag* @ 30/11/2012, 09:51 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Because Santa is an a*s*hole.




and elfs are evil.


Not a big deal here, we have always told the kids that parents work in conjunction with Santa, Santa needs help too, Mums and Dad sometimes need help with giving presents, some families and children need food, that's why it's important to donate to charities.

#23 Chocolate Addict

Posted 30 November 2012 - 11:23 AM

What Howdo said, but without the bananas! wink.gif

I told my son that Santa might find them but their mums or dads might not have any money to buy presents. Not everyone is lucky like you to get lots of presents off their parents so we need to help out a little.

We gave a few presents via the kmart wishing tree so that is how I explained it.

I have also told him,even Santa can't give him everything he wants because then other kids will miss out.


#24 ShamelesslyPooks

Posted 30 November 2012 - 11:46 AM

If they are asking those sorts of questions, it is game over. I'd no sooner tell them crap like kids have no electricity, then I would tell them Dorothy the dinosaur was the result of extensive scientific research into cloning from fossils.

When I started asking Dad along those lines, he asked me what I thought. My seven year old self decided that either Santa is a jerk, or he's not real. Dad told me I was very clever, and explained about Saint Nicholas leaving secret gifts, and how the tradition led to the Sintersklaas stuff we did on December 5/6, and the Santa stuff for Christmas, and they had other stories around the world too. He explained about the Christian story of the wise men, and said he thought people liked to remember about giving gifts and being generous so they used these traditions to do it. He said that it was fun for kids, so now I knew I had to help the grown ups keep the fun going for the kids who haven't worked it out yet.

I think he handled it beautifully. I had a cry, and then when I realized my parents had bought all those gifts I was so apologetic for never saying thank you, and so surprised they had found the money for them, but he said they enjoyed seeing us enjoy the gifts and it wasn't about the thanks. That was the point.

So that's what I suggest, OP.

#25 ~ky~

Posted 30 November 2012 - 12:29 PM

QUOTE (GoneWithTheWhinge @ 30/11/2012, 07:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Nothing to do with Santa, he only does small gifts here. Anything significant (size or $$ wise rather than some colouring pencils/hair ties/bubble bath) comes from us so its explained that some families don't have spare money to buy the children a present so we help them out so their children can be as excited about getting a present at Christmas as what you are.


That's pretty much how we do it too, except, Santa only every brought one small gift and the rest were from us.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Kelly Clarkson shares first photos of son

Kelly Clarkson has shown off the first photos of her son, Remington Alexander Blackstock.

5 childbirth myths that need to be busted

Birth is an unpredictable, mysterious process that intrigues us all, and there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Mum of three fatally shot by toddler while driving

A US mother has been shot by her toddler while driving on a highway in Wisconsin.

All you need is one minute to work out

The seven-minute-work out is old news. Research shows the effectiveness of going hell-for-leather for just one minute.

Pregnant women needed to join diabetes study

Pregnant woman in country Australia will help Adelaide researchers figure out why cases of type 1 diabetes have doubled over the past two decades.

Just announced: the Mountain Buggy Unirider

It's the perfect solution to combat those toddler meltdowns when they no longer want to be in a pram but can't walk long distances.

Authorities euthanise dog that fatally bit a newborn baby

A pit bull mix that fatally bit a 3-day-old infant last week has been euthanised, authorities said.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Why it's perfectly natural to dislike other people's children

Members of a popular forum are fiercely debating whether it is acceptable to dislike a friend's child.

Woman gives birth on plane, names baby after airline

A pregnant woman who unexpectedly gave birth on a flight has named her new baby after the airline, Jetstar.

Heartwarming photos show the joy of adoption after foster care

Children living in foster care can feel like their future is less than clear. But that uncertainty disappears the day they are adopted by their "forever family" 

'Oh my god, it's a baby!' Mum shocked to give birth

When the cramps started to kick in, Klara Dollan just assumed a painful period was starting.

Mum's Facebook plea: 'Help me find my daughter's father'

Kerryn has a unusual present planned for daughter Imi's 13th birthday celebrations - she hopes to be able to be able to give the soon-to-be the teenager her first ever photo of her dad.

Is it possible for your house to be too clean?

Our houses are cleaner than ever before. But how clean is too clean? Could a sterile home be putting your family's health at risk?

Millions of Monkeys: puzzles that grow with your toddler

Here's a puzzle that grows with them; the Puzzle Grow Pack by Millions of Monkeys.

Baby names from Britpop

If you grew up in the 90s you might want to look to the genre of Britpop music for baby name inspiration.

What to eat and drink when you have gastro

When you catch a bug that causes acute infectious gastroenteritis (gastro), your stomach and intestinal tract become inflamed, causing diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramping and pain. The last thing you probably feel like doing is eating.

'To this day, I owe her my life'

Would I have survived if I hadn't crossed that street?

Why baby Sonny needs you to vaccinate your children

Caitlin is a firm believer in the importance of immunisation to protect children from harmful and deadly diseases.

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.