Jump to content

'the talk' and menstrual cups


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 Excentrique

Posted 29 November 2012 - 08:57 PM

There have been a few threads about first periods and talking about them to girls on eb lately which have me thinking.

My grandmother did not educate my mother about periods so my mother had a bad experience. So she decided to never hide her periods from her daughters and as a result I had knowledge from very early on.

I however use a cup, so there is nothing to be seen. I'm not exactly going to let my kids watch while I go spelunking around, etc... and scar them for life.

So that got me to thinking how does one be age appropriately open (dd just turned 7) whilst not having anything to show (no pads/tampons lying about the place). I don't want this to be a secret thing which I then surprise her with later on, because I think something seen as secretive will be something harder to be comfortable with when older if that makes sense. It might seem more shameful and secretive?

Thoughts?

Edited by Excentrique, 29 November 2012 - 09:02 PM.


#2 Propaganda

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:02 PM

It's still a physical object that you can show her, just like a pad or tampon. I don't think mothers have to show it all bloodied and used (just as I assume most wouldn't with a pad/tampon) to talk about it and how it's used.

I'd mention it and the other options available. I didn't want to have anything inserted into my vagina at all when I first got mine, and it took having a child to make it comfortable to use anything inserted. You can google images of pads/tampons, or I'm sure you could contact companies that make these products and ask for a sample. Or just buy them.

#3 Princess Bubblegum

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:04 PM

Funny, all this first period talk. My DD just got her first one last night. I'm a little freaked out, to be honest. It's that whole 'biologically able to become a grandparent' concept. It's doing my head in!

Anyway, I use a cup too. I think DD knows that I just need a little extra privacy at that time of the month, and she will need the same. I don't feel like I'm hiding it from her. When you talk about it, just mention that women use different things to catch/stop the blood from making an ungodly mess and there are a few different options. Tell her you use a cup because you like how they.... ? (need less changes, are better for your body, feel more comfortable, etc) and if she wants to try one when she's ready you can get her one.

I think talking about it, but letting her know that needing privacy is perfectly OK is, well, perfectly OK.

#4 starsg

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:05 PM


maybe buy or get some samples of pads/tampons so that when you're explaining how they work she'll be able to understand more easily? you could also show her the cup when you're not using it and explain that they're all fine to use and she can choose what she'd like when she's a bit older? if you make them all seem like equally available/acceptable options I doubt she'd see anything dirty about it original.gif

#5 MrsLexiK

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:08 PM

You used to be able to get sample packs perhaps get one or two of them to show your DD

#6 ubermum

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:09 PM

Cup user and mother with daughters. My kids already know about the cup and what it's for. We have showers together and they were at the birth of my baby a few months ago. The last time I had a period, my eldest would have been 5. When she asked, I just told her that the blood was special blood where a baby grows and if it comes out, it means I am not growing a baby. That made sense to her at the time. I tend to go with simple, matter of fact type explanations that are not too technical nor contain too much detail.

#7 brangisnotaword

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:22 PM

I don't know that it has to be that big of a deal.  I knew about menstration, but had not really examined a tampon up close until I needed one.  Then, you know, I worked it out.  Mum bought them, and said to read the instructions carefully, because she could hardly demonstrate!  Then, well , that was that.

My kids have the Where Did I Come From book.  I plan on buying them the What's Happening to Me? Book.

#8 Excentrique

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:26 PM

then what age would you start discussing these things?

#9 JustBeige

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:40 PM

I approached it as part of the package.  We got her book and read through it and then I went online and got samples and then as parrt of looking at them (when we got them) I showed her my cup.    She's only 12 now, so when she is a bit more comfortable with her body and her cycle starts to be regular I will get her one and she can try it when she is ready.  She knows its just another form of blood flow management, same as cloth pads etc.

The more matter of fact you are the easier it is to discuss and it diminishes the ewww factor.

Eta: DD was about 8 when I got her her first book and we read it through.

Edited by JustBeige, 29 November 2012 - 09:46 PM.


#10 I'm Batman

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:43 PM

From an early age, my boys know what a tampon is as they have seen one and asked me what its for. if they are old enough to ask, or be shown one briefly explain it to them.

Edited by I'm Batman, 29 November 2012 - 09:44 PM.


#11 Ianthe

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:50 PM

I wear a cup too and will just show it to my daughter as well as other options. She is 8 now and knows about periods (as do my older boys).

BTW laughing2.gif at spelunking.

#12 ~ky~

Posted 30 November 2012 - 03:11 AM

I don't use a cup but when I went through the "official" sit down talk with DD a couple of years ago, I explained that a cup was another option apart from pads and tampons. I offered to get her either reusable pads or disposable, tampons or a cup - or a combination. She has currently chosen disposable pads and tampons but as she becomes more comfortable with her body and her periods, then we will reassess later. I just keep the lines of communication open.

As and aside ... it only took 5 months for DD and I to end up completely in sync with our periods!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Life with anxiety

At times, I feel pretty worthless. In those moments, all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide in the dark. I can try to quiet my mind, but it won?t shut up.

IVF leaves woman pregnant with another couple's twins

An Italian woman has been told the twins she is three months pregnant with are not hers.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

What you need for the 'fourth trimester'

In my opinion, the first three months after the birth are the most intense. Here's what got me through that time after welcoming my baby.

Weaning a toddler off a dummy: a 15-day plan

Weaning your child off the dummy can be a traumatic experience for both of you. Here are some tips to help you through.

Choosing to be a solo parent

Two women share their stories of longing for a baby so much that they each decided not to wait for a partner before becoming a mum.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

The ultimate travel stroller: the Mountain Buggy nano

We tried the Mountain Buggy nano and give it an enthusiastic thumbs up. As the ultimate travel stroller, it's practical, has great features, and looks fab, too.

Mum's heartbreak as son dies in road accident

Daly Thomas and her two young sons were walking home from church on Tuesday afternoon. Her youngest son never made it.

New Kate Spade baby bag designs

Don?t adjust your screen: this bright beauty is coming to you in full colour.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Itchibubs: clothes for babies and toddlers with eczema

Parents of children who suffer from eczema will know only too well the scratching that occurs around the clock. A new clothing range aims to help make everyone more comfortable.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Caring for kids helps grandmothers stay mentally alert

Looking after grandchildren can help grandmothers ward off brain disease - but it's also possible to get too much of a good thing, researchers say.

Why I loved my third home water birth

After two water births at home, I was determined to give birth to my son the same way. I just hoped this birth would be quicker than my last two.

Revealed: 7 ways food marketers try to trick consumers

If you?re confused by food labels, you?re not alone. Next time you?re shopping for food, look out for these seven common labelling tricks.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.