Jump to content

'the talk' and menstrual cups


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 Excentrique Feral

Posted 29 November 2012 - 08:57 PM

There have been a few threads about first periods and talking about them to girls on eb lately which have me thinking.

My grandmother did not educate my mother about periods so my mother had a bad experience. So she decided to never hide her periods from her daughters and as a result I had knowledge from very early on.

I however use a cup, so there is nothing to be seen. I'm not exactly going to let my kids watch while I go spelunking around, etc... and scar them for life.

So that got me to thinking how does one be age appropriately open (dd just turned 7) whilst not having anything to show (no pads/tampons lying about the place). I don't want this to be a secret thing which I then surprise her with later on, because I think something seen as secretive will be something harder to be comfortable with when older if that makes sense. It might seem more shameful and secretive?

Thoughts?

Edited by Excentrique, 29 November 2012 - 09:02 PM.


#2 Propaganda

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:02 PM

It's still a physical object that you can show her, just like a pad or tampon. I don't think mothers have to show it all bloodied and used (just as I assume most wouldn't with a pad/tampon) to talk about it and how it's used.

I'd mention it and the other options available. I didn't want to have anything inserted into my vagina at all when I first got mine, and it took having a child to make it comfortable to use anything inserted. You can google images of pads/tampons, or I'm sure you could contact companies that make these products and ask for a sample. Or just buy them.

#3 Princess Bubblegum

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:04 PM

Funny, all this first period talk. My DD just got her first one last night. I'm a little freaked out, to be honest. It's that whole 'biologically able to become a grandparent' concept. It's doing my head in!

Anyway, I use a cup too. I think DD knows that I just need a little extra privacy at that time of the month, and she will need the same. I don't feel like I'm hiding it from her. When you talk about it, just mention that women use different things to catch/stop the blood from making an ungodly mess and there are a few different options. Tell her you use a cup because you like how they.... ? (need less changes, are better for your body, feel more comfortable, etc) and if she wants to try one when she's ready you can get her one.

I think talking about it, but letting her know that needing privacy is perfectly OK is, well, perfectly OK.

#4 starsg

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:05 PM


maybe buy or get some samples of pads/tampons so that when you're explaining how they work she'll be able to understand more easily? you could also show her the cup when you're not using it and explain that they're all fine to use and she can choose what she'd like when she's a bit older? if you make them all seem like equally available/acceptable options I doubt she'd see anything dirty about it original.gif

#5 MrsLexiK

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:08 PM

You used to be able to get sample packs perhaps get one or two of them to show your DD

#6 ubermum

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:09 PM

Cup user and mother with daughters. My kids already know about the cup and what it's for. We have showers together and they were at the birth of my baby a few months ago. The last time I had a period, my eldest would have been 5. When she asked, I just told her that the blood was special blood where a baby grows and if it comes out, it means I am not growing a baby. That made sense to her at the time. I tend to go with simple, matter of fact type explanations that are not too technical nor contain too much detail.

#7 Excentrique Feral

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:26 PM

then what age would you start discussing these things?

#8 JustBeige

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:40 PM

I approached it as part of the package.  We got her book and read through it and then I went online and got samples and then as parrt of looking at them (when we got them) I showed her my cup.    She's only 12 now, so when she is a bit more comfortable with her body and her cycle starts to be regular I will get her one and she can try it when she is ready.  She knows its just another form of blood flow management, same as cloth pads etc.

The more matter of fact you are the easier it is to discuss and it diminishes the ewww factor.

Eta: DD was about 8 when I got her her first book and we read it through.

Edited by JustBeige, 29 November 2012 - 09:46 PM.


#9 I'm Batman

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:43 PM

From an early age, my boys know what a tampon is as they have seen one and asked me what its for. if they are old enough to ask, or be shown one briefly explain it to them.

Edited by I'm Batman, 29 November 2012 - 09:44 PM.


#10 Ianthe

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:50 PM

I wear a cup too and will just show it to my daughter as well as other options. She is 8 now and knows about periods (as do my older boys).

BTW laughing2.gif at spelunking.

#11 ~ky~

Posted 30 November 2012 - 03:11 AM

I don't use a cup but when I went through the "official" sit down talk with DD a couple of years ago, I explained that a cup was another option apart from pads and tampons. I offered to get her either reusable pads or disposable, tampons or a cup - or a combination. She has currently chosen disposable pads and tampons but as she becomes more comfortable with her body and her periods, then we will reassess later. I just keep the lines of communication open.

As and aside ... it only took 5 months for DD and I to end up completely in sync with our periods!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tot meets his heroes, falls apart with excitement

Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.

Beautiful in our eyes: Georgia's story

I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.

'It's been phenomenal': widower dad of quads thankful for support

There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.

Vin Diesel names daughter after actor Paul Walker

The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.

How midwives can help women who experience domestic violence

More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.

Mum describes giving birth during Cyclone Pam

A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.

6 signs you're done having babies

There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.

Marta Dusseldorp reveals breastfeeding cost her an acting job

Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.

Female celebs (or their babies) with traditionally male names

Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.

'If you're anti-immunisation ... take a look at this picture of my son'

Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.

How an extrovert can raise an introvert

Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.

Sheryl Sandberg's advice

'Choreplay': Help out at home to get more sex, Sandberg tells men

Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.

How to play with your baby

The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.

I'm a single mother by choice

For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.

Awkward wedding photos

Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.

Four-week-old baby Riley Hughes dies of whooping cough

The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Oh boy! Video shows family's reaction to baby surprise

Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.

How to help build up your baby's immune system

We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?

'Nick, you need to call an ambulance': home birth mum's tragic death

A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.

When dads believe their baby doesn't 'like' them

Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?

When was the last time a stranger praised your parenting?

Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

15 names on the verge of extinction

If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.

5 characteristics of great dads

It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.

Why doesn't Australia have more breast milk banks?

When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?

Carrie Bickmore announces birth of daughter

Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.