'the talk' and menstrual cups
, Nov 29 2012 08:57 PM
10 replies to this topic
Posted 29 November 2012 - 08:57 PM
There have been a few threads about first periods and talking about them to girls on eb lately which have me thinking.
My grandmother did not educate my mother about periods so my mother had a bad experience. So she decided to never hide her periods from her daughters and as a result I had knowledge from very early on.
I however use a cup, so there is nothing to be seen. I'm not exactly going to let my kids watch while I go spelunking around, etc... and scar them for life.
So that got me to thinking how does one be age appropriately open (dd just turned 7) whilst not having anything to show (no pads/tampons lying about the place). I don't want this to be a secret thing which I then surprise her with later on, because I think something seen as secretive will be something harder to be comfortable with when older if that makes sense. It might seem more shameful and secretive?
Edited by Excentrique, 29 November 2012 - 09:02 PM.
Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:02 PM
It's still a physical object that you can show her, just like a pad or tampon. I don't think mothers have to show it all bloodied and used (just as I assume most wouldn't with a pad/tampon) to talk about it and how it's used.
I'd mention it and the other options available. I didn't want to have anything inserted into my vagina at all when I first got mine, and it took having a child to make it comfortable to use anything inserted. You can google images of pads/tampons, or I'm sure you could contact companies that make these products and ask for a sample. Or just buy them.
Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:04 PM
Funny, all this first period talk. My DD just got her first one last night. I'm a little freaked out, to be honest. It's that whole 'biologically able to become a grandparent' concept. It's doing my head in!
Anyway, I use a cup too. I think DD knows that I just need a little extra privacy at that time of the month, and she will need the same. I don't feel like I'm hiding it from her. When you talk about it, just mention that women use different things to catch/stop the blood from making an ungodly mess and there are a few different options. Tell her you use a cup because you like how they.... ? (need less changes, are better for your body, feel more comfortable, etc) and if she wants to try one when she's ready you can get her one.
I think talking about it, but letting her know that needing privacy is perfectly OK is, well, perfectly OK.
Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:05 PM
maybe buy or get some samples of pads/tampons so that when you're explaining how they work she'll be able to understand more easily? you could also show her the cup when you're not using it and explain that they're all fine to use and she can choose what she'd like when she's a bit older? if you make them all seem like equally available/acceptable options I doubt she'd see anything dirty about it
Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:08 PM
You used to be able to get sample packs perhaps get one or two of them to show your DD
Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:09 PM
Cup user and mother with daughters. My kids already know about the cup and what it's for. We have showers together and they were at the birth of my baby a few months ago. The last time I had a period, my eldest would have been 5. When she asked, I just told her that the blood was special blood where a baby grows and if it comes out, it means I am not growing a baby. That made sense to her at the time. I tend to go with simple, matter of fact type explanations that are not too technical nor contain too much detail.
Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:26 PM
then what age would you start discussing these things?
Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:40 PM
I approached it as part of the package. We got her book and read through it and then I went online and got samples and then as parrt of looking at them (when we got them) I showed her my cup. She's only 12 now, so when she is a bit more comfortable with her body and her cycle starts to be regular I will get her one and she can try it when she is ready. She knows its just another form of blood flow management, same as cloth pads etc.
The more matter of fact you are the easier it is to discuss and it diminishes the ewww factor.
Eta: DD was about 8 when I got her her first book and we read it through.
Edited by JustBeige, 29 November 2012 - 09:46 PM.
Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:43 PM
From an early age, my boys know what a tampon is as they have seen one and asked me what its for. if they are old enough to ask, or be shown one briefly explain it to them.
Edited by I'm Batman, 29 November 2012 - 09:44 PM.
Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:50 PM
I wear a cup too and will just show it to my daughter as well as other options. She is 8 now and knows about periods (as do my older boys).
Posted 30 November 2012 - 03:11 AM
I don't use a cup but when I went through the "official" sit down talk with DD a couple of years ago, I explained that a cup was another option apart from pads and tampons. I offered to get her either reusable pads or disposable, tampons or a cup - or a combination. She has currently chosen disposable pads and tampons but as she becomes more comfortable with her body and her periods, then we will reassess later. I just keep the lines of communication open.
As and aside ... it only took 5 months for DD and I to end up completely in sync with our periods!
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