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Kind Ol' Aspie Dude 1: Judgmental Old Biddies 0


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#1 baddmammajamma

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:01 PM

Those of you who are my FB friends might recognize this as my current status.

Background:

A few days ago, my 7-year-old daughter had an ASD "meltdown" on school grounds. They don't happen often these days, but they still can occur.

There were a few grandmothers picking up their grandchildren on campus, and two of them shot me the most horrible looks and shook their heads, as if to say "Do SOMETHING about that brat, you horrible mother."

I am pretty used to people misinterpreting meltdowns, but for some reason, their stares and whispers really made me feel like crap.

Today, when I went to school pick up, an elderly gentleman who had witnessed everything pulled me aside. He whispered, "I have Aspergers. I understand. Is everything ok?" He then went on to engage my daughter about her current "passions," and they had a delightful conversation.

There is this awful myth and stereotype out there that people with ASD lack empathy and can't read other people's feelings or emotions...and that they don't care about others. This is not true.

As Aspergers guru Tony Attwood is fond of saying, people with ASD can and do have empathy -- they might just show it in different ways.

Anyway, if anyone in the universe is keeping score in NW Sydney, the tally is:

Kind Ol' Aspie Dude 1: Judgmental Old Biddies 0

original.gif


Edited to correct my mangling of the word "Biddies"

Edited by baddmammajamma, 29 November 2012 - 08:56 PM.


#2 claptrap

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:03 PM

yay for kindness and acceptance and understanding

yah boo sux for judgmental sniping in all its forms

and 3 cheers for bmj and her tireless quest to educate and support others

#3 Escapin

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:06 PM

Yay for the old guy original.gif And a big eye roll back to the old biddies who have obviously lost whatever empathy that they might have once possessed.

#4 HRH Countrymel

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:06 PM

Yay for kindly man.


#5 librablonde

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:07 PM

That was such a nice thing to read, thankyou BMJ, you put a smile on my face original.gif  It's great to hear of understanding and empathy like that example, what a lovely, insightful thing for that man to do original.gif

#6 FeralZombieMum

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:12 PM

wub.gif

#7 AggyW72

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:12 PM

Oh that's lovely!! Warms my heart! We have just got and Aspergers diagnosis for our 7 year old DS, so its nice to know the world is not a completely hostile environment for him.
Thanks for sharing original.gif

#8 opethmum

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:13 PM

Thanks for an inspirational post, I hope that I can do that some day to a fellow ASD when they are in difficulty. It really melts my heart !

#9 Lagom

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:19 PM

What a nice thing to do.  The world needs more kind people like him and less Judgey McJudgersons.

#10 Mousky

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:19 PM

What a nice man.  

My "favourite" thing to hear from people who have no idea is that people with ASD "have no emotions"- AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

#11 sparassidae

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:19 PM

A really fantastic encounter, here's hoping for more like that (for all of us!)



#12 JJ

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:20 PM

Yay for Aspie Dude! biggrin.gif He sounds lovely.

The belief (or as you say myth) that Aspies don't have empathy is one of my pet peeves. It really needs to go away. If anything, we sometimes have too much and don't know what to do with it, where to draw the line and how to show it in an appropriate manner... well that's what happens to me on a regular basis, anyway!

#13 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:25 PM

This is the second post this week where random acts of kindness from strangers have been witnessed (the other one was the Mint Slice fairy). Hopefully there will be an epidemic.

#14 TinMan

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:31 PM

It was lovely of him to let you know- bet it made your week seem a bit brighter.

#15 baddmammajamma

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:39 PM

QUOTE (Old Grey Mare @ 29/11/2012, 05:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This is the second post this week where random acts of kindness from strangers have been witnessed (the other one was the Mint Slice fairy). Hopefully there will be an epidemic.


Yes, wouldn't THAT be a great epidemic? original.gif

He really made my day. We had a very touching conversation after he spoke with my daughter.



#16 Bob-the-skull

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:41 PM

bahh to people and their assumptions of people who have ASD...

my cousin has aspie and shows emotion (sometimes to much)... can now use sarcasm correctly (he is now a teen)...

i hate people who say someone can't because of ASD.

#17 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:46 PM

Go Aspie Dude!! biggrin.gif

#18 lozoodle

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:51 PM

What a lovely man wub.gif

#19 frumpus

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:20 PM

Hurrah for old Aspergers man - send him a christmas ham.  Yes! contrary to popular belief males with Autism are not all wife beating, child hating, cold callous robots or ****ing 'sheldons'.  
An older relative bankrolled my son's therapy when we ran out of money.  Said relative was written off as a 'sub-normal autistic' in his first year of school.  He now has an extremely successful career/life (while not conventional) - thus far exceeding the expert assessment of some dept of ed 'old biddies'.   He says the hardest years of his life were in primary school.
ps; It's old biddies now that you're in Australia.;-)

#20 baddmammajamma

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:21 PM

QUOTE (saudade @ 29/11/2012, 06:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ps; It's old biddies now that you're in Australia.;-)


Yeah, I figured that one out! wink.gif

#21 JRA

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:31 PM

DH is busy "cooking" tuna ceviche, i had to read it out.

It is one of the best stories

#22 Missy Shelby

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:56 PM

He sounds like my kind of person wink.gif

Must have made you feel a whole lot better.

Understanding and empathy for our fellow man seems to be sometimes lacking these days.

#23 Frockme

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:47 PM

That is so sweet! Old aspie dudes rock! I would have wanted to kiss him.

Thanks for sharing.

#24 FiveAus

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:48 PM

What did the "old biddies" actually say to you?

#25 baddmammajamma

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:53 PM

QUOTE (FiveAus @ 29/11/2012, 08:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What did the "old biddies" actually say to you?


Nothing. They stared at me as my daughter was melting down and I was trying unsuccessfully to calm her (and my son, who was crying in reaction to his sister) -- shook their heads, and then one of them whispered something to the other.

And I am quite sure she WASN'T saying "Doesn't that mum have lovely highlights?" Or "Do you have a tissue?"




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