Jump to content

Kind Ol' Aspie Dude 1: Judgmental Old Biddies 0


  • Please log in to reply
43 replies to this topic

#1 baddmammajamma

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:01 PM

Those of you who are my FB friends might recognize this as my current status.

Background:

A few days ago, my 7-year-old daughter had an ASD "meltdown" on school grounds. They don't happen often these days, but they still can occur.

There were a few grandmothers picking up their grandchildren on campus, and two of them shot me the most horrible looks and shook their heads, as if to say "Do SOMETHING about that brat, you horrible mother."

I am pretty used to people misinterpreting meltdowns, but for some reason, their stares and whispers really made me feel like crap.

Today, when I went to school pick up, an elderly gentleman who had witnessed everything pulled me aside. He whispered, "I have Aspergers. I understand. Is everything ok?" He then went on to engage my daughter about her current "passions," and they had a delightful conversation.

There is this awful myth and stereotype out there that people with ASD lack empathy and can't read other people's feelings or emotions...and that they don't care about others. This is not true.

As Aspergers guru Tony Attwood is fond of saying, people with ASD can and do have empathy -- they might just show it in different ways.

Anyway, if anyone in the universe is keeping score in NW Sydney, the tally is:

Kind Ol' Aspie Dude 1: Judgmental Old Biddies 0

original.gif


Edited to correct my mangling of the word "Biddies"

Edited by baddmammajamma, 29 November 2012 - 08:56 PM.


#2 claptrap

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:03 PM

yay for kindness and acceptance and understanding

yah boo sux for judgmental sniping in all its forms

and 3 cheers for bmj and her tireless quest to educate and support others

#3 Escapin

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:06 PM

Yay for the old guy original.gif And a big eye roll back to the old biddies who have obviously lost whatever empathy that they might have once possessed.

#4 HRH Countrymel

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:06 PM

Yay for kindly man.


#5 librablonde

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:07 PM

That was such a nice thing to read, thankyou BMJ, you put a smile on my face original.gif  It's great to hear of understanding and empathy like that example, what a lovely, insightful thing for that man to do original.gif

#6 FeralZombieMum

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:12 PM

wub.gif

#7 AggyW72

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:12 PM

Oh that's lovely!! Warms my heart! We have just got and Aspergers diagnosis for our 7 year old DS, so its nice to know the world is not a completely hostile environment for him.
Thanks for sharing original.gif

#8 opethmum

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:13 PM

Thanks for an inspirational post, I hope that I can do that some day to a fellow ASD when they are in difficulty. It really melts my heart !

#9 amabanana

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:19 PM

What a nice thing to do.  The world needs more kind people like him and less Judgey McJudgersons.

#10 Mousky

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:19 PM

What a nice man.  

My "favourite" thing to hear from people who have no idea is that people with ASD "have no emotions"- AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

#11 sparassidae

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:19 PM

A really fantastic encounter, here's hoping for more like that (for all of us!)



#12 JJ

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:20 PM

Yay for Aspie Dude! biggrin.gif He sounds lovely.

The belief (or as you say myth) that Aspies don't have empathy is one of my pet peeves. It really needs to go away. If anything, we sometimes have too much and don't know what to do with it, where to draw the line and how to show it in an appropriate manner... well that's what happens to me on a regular basis, anyway!

#13 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:25 PM

This is the second post this week where random acts of kindness from strangers have been witnessed (the other one was the Mint Slice fairy). Hopefully there will be an epidemic.

#14 TinMan

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:31 PM

It was lovely of him to let you know- bet it made your week seem a bit brighter.

#15 baddmammajamma

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:39 PM

QUOTE (Old Grey Mare @ 29/11/2012, 05:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This is the second post this week where random acts of kindness from strangers have been witnessed (the other one was the Mint Slice fairy). Hopefully there will be an epidemic.


Yes, wouldn't THAT be a great epidemic? original.gif

He really made my day. We had a very touching conversation after he spoke with my daughter.



#16 -*meh*-

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:41 PM

bahh to people and their assumptions of people who have ASD...

my cousin has aspie and shows emotion (sometimes to much)... can now use sarcasm correctly (he is now a teen)...

i hate people who say someone can't because of ASD.

#17 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:46 PM

Go Aspie Dude!! biggrin.gif

#18 lozoodle

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:51 PM

What a lovely man wub.gif

#19 frumpus

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:20 PM

Hurrah for old Aspergers man - send him a christmas ham.  Yes! contrary to popular belief males with Autism are not all wife beating, child hating, cold callous robots or ****ing 'sheldons'.  
An older relative bankrolled my son's therapy when we ran out of money.  Said relative was written off as a 'sub-normal autistic' in his first year of school.  He now has an extremely successful career/life (while not conventional) - thus far exceeding the expert assessment of some dept of ed 'old biddies'.   He says the hardest years of his life were in primary school.
ps; It's old biddies now that you're in Australia.;-)

#20 baddmammajamma

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:21 PM

QUOTE (saudade @ 29/11/2012, 06:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ps; It's old biddies now that you're in Australia.;-)


Yeah, I figured that one out! wink.gif

#21 JRA

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:31 PM

DH is busy "cooking" tuna ceviche, i had to read it out.

It is one of the best stories

#22 Missy Shelby

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:56 PM

He sounds like my kind of person wink.gif

Must have made you feel a whole lot better.

Understanding and empathy for our fellow man seems to be sometimes lacking these days.

#23 Frockme

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:47 PM

That is so sweet! Old aspie dudes rock! I would have wanted to kiss him.

Thanks for sharing.

#24 FiveAus

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:48 PM

What did the "old biddies" actually say to you?

#25 baddmammajamma

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:53 PM

QUOTE (FiveAus @ 29/11/2012, 08:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What did the "old biddies" actually say to you?


Nothing. They stared at me as my daughter was melting down and I was trying unsuccessfully to calm her (and my son, who was crying in reaction to his sister) -- shook their heads, and then one of them whispered something to the other.

And I am quite sure she WASN'T saying "Doesn't that mum have lovely highlights?" Or "Do you have a tissue?"




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Finding baby name inspiration in unusual places

Sometimes the greatest baby name ideas come from the most unexpected places, as these EB members show.

The case for inducing at 37 weeks

While we often think of pregnancy as a 40 week affair, experts agree that 37 weeks is actually “full term". So is there an argument for inducing all births at 37 weeks?

Does controlled crying really work?

Controlled-crying techniques may help some babies sleep through the night, but for many exhausted new parents, it's just a recipe for more tears all round.

How I taught my infant to use a toilet

As people become more aware of these benefits, I hope more parents will practice this method, so we can cut down on nappies and improve baby bonding.

'I thought it was impossible': Emily Symons pregnant at 45

Aussie actress Emily Symons has announced she is pregnant with her first baby.

Shallow water blackout kills fit, healthy dad

A little girl will grow up without her father after the fit and healthy 34-year-old passed away while doing something he had practised his whole life.

Afternoon naps may be bad for toddlers' sleep

You could be doing yourself a disservice by encouraging your toddler to have an afternoon nap, according to new research.

Best gifts for newborns, new mums and christenings

We've compiled a guide to some of the most popular presents for newborns and new mums, and for christenings and naming days.

Jaime King to be a mum again

Actress Jaime King is pregnant with her second child, giving 16-month-old James a sibling.

Nannies should receive government funding

The Abbott government should extend funding to nannies, and direct childcare payments to low and middle income families, a landmark study on childcare has found. 

Common skin irritations in newborns (and how to treat them)

As many as one in two newborn babies suffer from skin irritations in their first few weeks. So what are the most common rashes and irritations to look out for?

10 wall decals for the nursery or playroom

Wall decals are the answer to creating a beautiful nursery or children's space without lifting a paint brush, a spirit level or even a hammer.

Preschooler walks 2.4km home alone

Three-year-old Cain Trainor headed off home after his first day at a new preschool without telling anyone.

Video: Why mums get nothing done

In spite of being in an almost constant state of motion while looking after the kids and trying to keep things together at home, it can seem as though parents have managed to get nothing on the to-do list done by the end of the day.

The middle name game

The middle name is no longer an afterthought, and parents' inspiration comes from many places.

Have a baby or your money back - but there's a catch

A new IVF scheme offers couples the chance to fall pregnant and give birth - or get their money back. But there's more to it than you might think.

A rare glimpse inside the womb

A baby born still inside the amniotic sac gave US doctors a rare glimpse at life inside the womb.

Battered mum forced to write to her attacker ex in jail

Three years ago Jason Hughes viciously attacked his ex-partner. Now she has to write to him three times a year.

Woman pleads not guilty to ultrasound scam

A West Australian woman will fight allegations that she scammed expectant mums by selling them fake ultrasound pictures of babies.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Brain damaged mum receives compensation

A Sydney mother who suffered brain damage when she was hit by a car while pushing her newborn baby in a pram has reached a confidential out-of-court settlement with the driver's insurance company.

Indigenous midwives break down the barriers

A culturally sensitive midwifery service has gained the trust and respect of Aboriginal women.

The Katering Show's next big delivery

Most mums-to-be plan to take things easy and perhaps have a little break from work as the birth of their baby draws near. Not Kate McCartney.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

Why I have mixed feelings about Cindy Crawford's leaked photo

Last week an un-retouched photo of model Cindy Crawford surfaced, showing the 48-year-old mother-of -two posing in underwear.

How to create a Peppa Pig pancake

Thought your toddler could not love pancakes any more than they already do? How about if the breakfast treat came in the shape of every two-year-old's favourite cartoon character?

'It's a little life, not a little loss': pregnancy after miscarriage

I thought I was never going to be able to have a successful pregnancy. I decided that I wasn't going to form an emotional attachment with this baby.

Bonds Baby Search 2015: what you need to know

February 18 marks the start of one of the most prolific annual baby competitions in Australia: the Bonds Baby Search. And this year is going to be more special than ever.

Who will manage your Facebook account when you're gone?

This is not something that people like to talk about, but Facebook has announced that it will grant users more control over what happens to their pages after they die.

Struggling mum of four wins $188 million

Mother of four Marie Holmes was financially struggling after quitting her jobs at Walmart and McDonald's in order to care for her children.

Pregnant obese women a 'relatively new problem', coroner hears

A first-time mother whose daughter died hours after her frightening birth insists she was never told of the risks of being obese and pregnant.

'I'm angry as hell': the story behind mum's passionate vaccination plea

She has labelled parents who do not vaccinate their children "misinformed imbeciles" - and for that, she makes no apologies.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

8 different kinds of tantrums

I never thought I’d say this, but for a brief moment last week, Kim Kardashian and I had something in common: both our kids had public tantrums.

Polycystic ovary syndrome: symptoms, treatment and your fertility

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female hormonal condition, affecting roughly one in 12 Australian women.

What's the best position for giving birth?

If doing it on your back is out, what's the best position for labour and birth?

Wife forgives snake catcher husband for car surprise

With Valentine's Day coming up, Nat Gilbert could be forgiven for thinking her husband might be planning a surprise for her.

Kids who meet milestones at their own pace

We usually only hear the success stories: tales of the two-year-old who’s talking, running and completely toilet trained. But other stories need to be told too.

Ruby shines as Bonds Baby

Sarah Kiss has a word of advice for proud mums and dads who are keen to enter their babies in this year's Bonds Baby Search Competition - just have fun.

Why dads should go to sleep school

If your family needs to go to sleep school, go with them. You are part of that family and you are part of the solution.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Win a KitchenAid Mixer

Let's celebrate 300,000 fans on Facebook

To celebrate, and to thank our amazing fans, we?re giving away a KitchenAid Artisan Tilt-Head Stand Mixer.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.