Jump to content

Kind Ol' Aspie Dude 1: Judgmental Old Biddies 0


  • Please log in to reply
43 replies to this topic

#1 baddmammajamma

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:01 PM

Those of you who are my FB friends might recognize this as my current status.

Background:

A few days ago, my 7-year-old daughter had an ASD "meltdown" on school grounds. They don't happen often these days, but they still can occur.

There were a few grandmothers picking up their grandchildren on campus, and two of them shot me the most horrible looks and shook their heads, as if to say "Do SOMETHING about that brat, you horrible mother."

I am pretty used to people misinterpreting meltdowns, but for some reason, their stares and whispers really made me feel like crap.

Today, when I went to school pick up, an elderly gentleman who had witnessed everything pulled me aside. He whispered, "I have Aspergers. I understand. Is everything ok?" He then went on to engage my daughter about her current "passions," and they had a delightful conversation.

There is this awful myth and stereotype out there that people with ASD lack empathy and can't read other people's feelings or emotions...and that they don't care about others. This is not true.

As Aspergers guru Tony Attwood is fond of saying, people with ASD can and do have empathy -- they might just show it in different ways.

Anyway, if anyone in the universe is keeping score in NW Sydney, the tally is:

Kind Ol' Aspie Dude 1: Judgmental Old Biddies 0

original.gif


Edited to correct my mangling of the word "Biddies"

Edited by baddmammajamma, 29 November 2012 - 08:56 PM.


#2 claptrap

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:03 PM

yay for kindness and acceptance and understanding

yah boo sux for judgmental sniping in all its forms

and 3 cheers for bmj and her tireless quest to educate and support others

#3 Escapin

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:06 PM

Yay for the old guy original.gif And a big eye roll back to the old biddies who have obviously lost whatever empathy that they might have once possessed.

#4 CountryFeral

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:06 PM

Yay for kindly man.


#5 librablonde

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:07 PM

That was such a nice thing to read, thankyou BMJ, you put a smile on my face original.gif  It's great to hear of understanding and empathy like that example, what a lovely, insightful thing for that man to do original.gif

#6 FeralZombieMum

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:12 PM

wub.gif

#7 AggyW72

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:12 PM

Oh that's lovely!! Warms my heart! We have just got and Aspergers diagnosis for our 7 year old DS, so its nice to know the world is not a completely hostile environment for him.
Thanks for sharing original.gif

#8 opethmum

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:13 PM

Thanks for an inspirational post, I hope that I can do that some day to a fellow ASD when they are in difficulty. It really melts my heart !

#9 amabanana

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:19 PM

What a nice thing to do.  The world needs more kind people like him and less Judgey McJudgersons.

#10 Mousky

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:19 PM

What a nice man.  

My "favourite" thing to hear from people who have no idea is that people with ASD "have no emotions"- AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

#11 sparassidae

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:19 PM

A really fantastic encounter, here's hoping for more like that (for all of us!)



#12 JJ

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:20 PM

Yay for Aspie Dude! biggrin.gif He sounds lovely.

The belief (or as you say myth) that Aspies don't have empathy is one of my pet peeves. It really needs to go away. If anything, we sometimes have too much and don't know what to do with it, where to draw the line and how to show it in an appropriate manner... well that's what happens to me on a regular basis, anyway!

#13 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:25 PM

This is the second post this week where random acts of kindness from strangers have been witnessed (the other one was the Mint Slice fairy). Hopefully there will be an epidemic.

#14 TinMan

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:31 PM

It was lovely of him to let you know- bet it made your week seem a bit brighter.

#15 baddmammajamma

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:39 PM

QUOTE (Old Grey Mare @ 29/11/2012, 05:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This is the second post this week where random acts of kindness from strangers have been witnessed (the other one was the Mint Slice fairy). Hopefully there will be an epidemic.


Yes, wouldn't THAT be a great epidemic? original.gif

He really made my day. We had a very touching conversation after he spoke with my daughter.



#16 -*meh*-

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:41 PM

bahh to people and their assumptions of people who have ASD...

my cousin has aspie and shows emotion (sometimes to much)... can now use sarcasm correctly (he is now a teen)...

i hate people who say someone can't because of ASD.

#17 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:46 PM

Go Aspie Dude!! biggrin.gif

#18 lozoodle

Posted 29 November 2012 - 04:51 PM

What a lovely man wub.gif

#19 LynnPostlethwaite

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:20 PM

Hurrah for old Aspergers man - send him a christmas ham.  Yes! contrary to popular belief males with Autism are not all wife beating, child hating, cold callous robots or ****ing 'sheldons'.  
An older relative bankrolled my son's therapy when we ran out of money.  Said relative was written off as a 'sub-normal autistic' in his first year of school.  He now has an extremely successful career/life (while not conventional) - thus far exceeding the expert assessment of some dept of ed 'old biddies'.   He says the hardest years of his life were in primary school.
ps; It's old biddies now that you're in Australia.;-)

#20 baddmammajamma

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:21 PM

QUOTE (saudade @ 29/11/2012, 06:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ps; It's old biddies now that you're in Australia.;-)


Yeah, I figured that one out! wink.gif

#21 JRA

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:31 PM

DH is busy "cooking" tuna ceviche, i had to read it out.

It is one of the best stories

#22 Missy Shelby

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:56 PM

He sounds like my kind of person wink.gif

Must have made you feel a whole lot better.

Understanding and empathy for our fellow man seems to be sometimes lacking these days.

#23 Frockme

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:47 PM

That is so sweet! Old aspie dudes rock! I would have wanted to kiss him.

Thanks for sharing.

#24 FiveAus

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:48 PM

What did the "old biddies" actually say to you?

#25 baddmammajamma

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:53 PM

QUOTE (FiveAus @ 29/11/2012, 08:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What did the "old biddies" actually say to you?


Nothing. They stared at me as my daughter was melting down and I was trying unsuccessfully to calm her (and my son, who was crying in reaction to his sister) -- shook their heads, and then one of them whispered something to the other.

And I am quite sure she WASN'T saying "Doesn't that mum have lovely highlights?" Or "Do you have a tissue?"




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Clever panda fakes pregnancy

News that a giant panda was pregnant prompted much excitement, but it appears there were never any cubs on the way.

'I survived placenta percreta'

When writing her birth plan, Simone Pavil included an item most women wouldn?t even think about: what should happen if she was put on life support. The mum had the potentially fatal condition placenta accreta.

Managing personal space as a mum

In the midst of the early parenting years, our bodies and minds can seemingly be overtaken by our offspring. How can we balance our need for personal space with the needs of our children?

'If love could have saved you, you'd have never left'

The words "spontaneous abortion" on the hospital paperwork really got to me. My baby died; I didn't spontaneously decide to abort him.

15 classic Aussie ads

Watch some of the classic Australian ads of the 80s, 90s and 00s, and remember the catchphrases and jingles we all used to know so well ...

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Going viral

Outrage over baby's icy challenge

A man has been reported to child protective services after taking the ALS ice bucket challenge with his 10-month-old granddaughter.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.