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My daughter got her period today.
She is 8yrs old...


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#1 Madlock

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:39 AM

Please don't quote sections of my post as I plan on deleting it once i have some answers.

I received a phone call from my DD's school today saying she was in sick bay and I needed to get her. When I picked her up the office lady had to pry her out of the toilet, where she had been almost the whole time since she got to sick bay. We both assumed she had caught a bug or something similar, hense all the time on the toilet. When she came out she was very pale and was complaining about bad stomach pain. I bought her home, gave her a panadol and a hot water bottle and put her into bed. A few minutes later I received another call from the office lady at the school. She said she went to the toilet after we had left and noticed blood. She wanted to check in and maybe suggest that DD has her period. She explained she knows she is very young but thought she would mention it anyway.

Then it clicked!!

I got DD up to have a shower and it definitely seems as though she has her period sad.gif

For the past year DD has had EXTREMELY bad body odour. She puts anti-persperant on everyday and still has big sweat patches under her arms. She has also started getting pubic hair in the last month and has been very testy...uncharacteristically testy. I know these are all signs of puberty but I never actually though she would get her period!! She's 8!! ohmy.gif

She is now back in bed with the hot water bottle and she is sleeping.

How do I go about telling her about this? How do I explain it all? My doctor is not back until Monday, should I see another or just wait until Monday? Should I send her to school tomorrow so she realises that having a period is 'normal' or should I give her a few days to let it all sink in? Another mother I spoke to seems to think if I give her time off now then she will think it's a big deal and want the time off every month, I see where she is coming from but I think even though it's natural, it is a big deal...she is 8! Maybe that's just the mother coming out in me though?

Do you think the doctor will recommend some way of stopping her period for a few years? Gah! I'm so confused, I thought I was still many years away from having to deal with this  sad.gif

ETA - I thought I would mention that I asked DD why she didn't tell me she was bleeding. She has eczema and most of it is on her bottom, so it's an everyday occurrence for her to have blood on her undies. She had just assumed it was a lot of blood that had dripped down because of all the sores.

Edited by Madlock, 29 November 2012 - 10:45 AM.


#2 Ianthe

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:45 AM

At 8 I would keep her home from school. Did she even know what a period is? Poor kid. 8 is really young-I have an 8yo daughter and I just cannot imagine her dealing with that yet sad.gif

I do know that there are concerns about kids that are developing early but I am not sure at what point they intervene.

#3 mrsvee

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:45 AM

I am so sorry, how distressing  for her and you when you were clearly not expecting it this early.  My niece got her period when she was ten and I remember a frantic phone call from her about it.  I would see how she is feeling and see how heavy it is and maybe give her another day at home, it is a lot to process in one so young.  The fact she hasn't told you about the blood is also worrying, maybe she think she is unwell or has something wrong with her and is worried about dying, I have heard stories about this before when young girls didn't know what was happening to them.  You really must explain to her fully what is happening to her so that she knows it is completely normal.  I would also let the school know so they can keep an eye on her and give her someone to talk to at school if she gets it agagin there unprepared. There are some good books around I am sure.  

I hope you and she are alright and that she settles with it soon

#4 Becky Thatcher

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:46 AM

I really have no idea. If she is more at the 9 end of 8 then I would say it was normal but at the 7 end of 8, early.

Very interested to hear what people who know this area have to say.

#5 Monroe

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:46 AM

I was 9 when my period started. My Mum had told me about it so it wasn't such a shock (her mother, sister & herself all god it between the ages of 8-10)
I went home 'sick' the first day & was freaking out. I eventually told mum after dinner that night, I don't know why and I still don't understand but she was so happy. She allowed me to stay home from school the following day just so I would understand how to deal with it all (ie, pads, cramps)

#6 Etienne

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:47 AM

I also had my first period at 8 years old but it was a one off and returned when I was 12 for good.

I remember getting it at school and was scared as I didn't know what it was.  That night my mum talked me through everything and said that she thought it was early but was nothing to worry about.  I can't recall ever going to the doctors about it but I remember being very sad and thinking I was different from all my friends.  I'm glad that mum had a good conversation with me at the time, it did make me feel better.

Good luck.

#7 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:48 AM

Have a chat with her later today and let her know what's going on.  Tell her that is a normal part of life and once she gets the hang of dealing with it, life goes on.  And then see how she is in the morning.  It is a big deal for an 8 year old and a lot to get their head around.

Some girls will get intense cramps though.  I know my sister was wiped out for one day each month.  She didn't bung it on, she hated it, but she just had seriously bad cramps for the first day of her periods. In the end, it was easier for her to simply stay home (school would usually send her home anyway if she attended, she looked awful).  It got better when she went on the pill, but that didn't happen until she was about 15/16.

#8 Madlock

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:48 AM

QUOTE
Did she even know what a period is?


No definitely not. They haven't even touched on it at school yet. She doesn't even know about sex yet, so I assume I would have to explain sex to be able to explain menstration?

#9 Guest_3Keiki_*

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:50 AM

OP I got my period at nine, and just nine and this was 30 years ago so yeah considered very early, I think you just need to give her all the info she needs and let it sink in, keep her home from school just to give her a breather, so young if any of the other kids get wind of it she might feel uncomfortable so let her just process it for a few days, I think there is no harm in discussing with your dr, it is 99.9% just early puberty but he/she may have some good resources to help you both.
Good luck to you

#10 mpjp

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:51 AM

Oh the poor possum. Yes periods ARE normal, but 8 years of age (I have an almost 8 year old) is so young.

My DD1 started puberty quite early, we went to the doc and it was explained to me that puberty can start as early as 8, and this is considered 'normal', so I dont think you'll find a doc that will explore delaying periods (if this can even be done once they've started). At 8 I'd probably do a visit to a ddoc though just to make sure there aren't benign (but hormone influencing) issues with the pituitary etc.

I get what the other mother is saying, but if it was my 8 year old, and she was feeling rotten, and in pain I'd definitely keep her home. My 8 year old barely understands what a period is, and so she would be really freaked. The 10 year old though....no, I'd probably try to manage her pain with appropriate meds and see how it all went. I think I'd take her age and emotional maturity into account.

#11 bakesgirls

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:58 AM

Why would you need to take your DD to a doctor? Just tell her all about it. She needs to know now, not when you feel up to telling her about it.

I'd let her have some time of school this time as it's her first period, but I'd make it clear that this is a once off. That she can't miss school every month because she has started menstruating.

OP, had you even started touching on the subjects of sex and periods yet?

#12 peking homunculus

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:58 AM

I wouldn't go to the doctor- she's not sick and you don't want to make he feel like her period is a bad thing

If you can, I'd keep her off school tomorrow and spend some "girl" time together. Go and have lunch, maybe buy her a piece of jewelry. Your daughter is on her way to becoming a woman and celebrating that seems like a nice idea

#13 Beancat

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:59 AM

Wow, 8 is young, the poor little girl must be so confused.  You can explain menstruation without explaining sex/intercourse exactlly.  Explain it as the preparation that a women's body goes through each month in case a baby grows in her tummy.  Be sure to tell her this process starts many years before a woman is ready to have a baby as she may freak out that she will start growing a baby.  Explain that other animals go through the same process and it is completely natural, ie chickens lay eggs every 24 hours.

I would consult your GP, but can you do it without taking your daughter?  You don't want to give the impression to her that there is something wrong with her.  Perhaps they might wait and see what happens for the next couple of months and if it sticks around and is crampy and heavy they may be able to start some hormone treatment - but i am not sure.  

Another suggestion - ring the nurse on call number and discuss with them - they may have some immediate advice for you.

#14 MrsDamonSalvatore

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:00 AM

Poor girl sad.gif give her a big hug bbighug.gif

i got my period when i was 8. i was terrified. i thought i was dying sad.gif noone had ever explained it to me. my mum gave me a book to read, possibly whats happening to me? or something along those lines? i dont quite remember. my mum kept me home from school for the first few days cause i just didnt cope. and the pain was terrible. she wanted me to feel "comfortable" with the situation before i had to deal with it by myself at school.

try one of those sorts of books, and make sure she knows its okay to talk about it with you, good luck!!!

#15 steppy

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:00 AM

I have heard of lots of people getting their first very young and then not having another for a year or so. I hope your daughter has this experience.

I think I'd keep her at home for another day, tell her what she needs to know and show her how to handle it and then send her back to school.

#16 Swahili

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:01 AM

Poor little thing. I hope it's a one off for a few more years. Such a young age to be dealing with all that hormonal upheaval. Give her lots of TLC.

#17 cward

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:01 AM

QUOTE
No definitely not. They haven't even touched on it at school yet. She doesn't even know about sex yet, so I assume I would have to explain sex to be able to explain menstration?
  I wouldn't be relying on school to inform her about what is happening with her body or telling her age appropriate information about sex either.

There have been some really good threads in the 8-12 age forum recently, you might have to scroll back but there have probably been 2 or 3.  You might also want to post this in there for some other comments.

My DD1 is nearly 10 and my DD2 is 6 and they know all about periods, mainly because they are always coming in the bathroom when I am on the toilet so have seen tampons and pads before etc.  

I defenitely wouldn't freak out about it though because it is totally normal and you don't want to scare her.  I'd probably keep her home for another day but explain everything to her, get her a nice little zippered bag she can keep pads and some spare undies in for her school bag and let the teacher know.

#18 Maple Leaf

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:04 AM

I would keep her home this time, I got my period at 13, but I remember that first time I felt so sick and it was just brutal the cramping.

Get a good book that helps explain it and lots of open communication. Hopefully she will take it in her stride.

#19 DenimAngel

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:09 AM

hugs.  I can imagine this would be a very delicate situation.  Honestly I would give her tomorrow off just this time.  Spend the day with her explaining a few things, perhaps take her out for morning tea.  
Stress to your little girl that she is very normal, young but normal.  You might have to check with the school if there is appropriate facilities to accomodate sanitary disposal in the toilet block she uses.  Letting her have tomorrow off with give you time to check about that too.

I would explain menstruation and how it is so she can have babies one day but I wouldn't explain the sex just yet.  She has a lot to take in at least for the next few days.  It might be a one off and she might not get another period for six months.
As for the delaying menstruation, I really don't like the idea of mucking around with hormones etc especially at such a young age.  Perhaps have a chat with your doctor but to find out your options but also the side effects of that.

#20 dreamingofcats

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:16 AM

My heart breaks for your daughter, I got my periods when I was 8 also. I remember going to the toilet and screaming for my mum because I had started bleeding. I was also very similar to your DD, profuse sweater and early development of breasts and hair.

My mum kept me home for the first time it happened. I remember it being painful, very much so and can still remember how miserable I felt. I dont think anything can really prepare you for it.

My biggest bit of advice is to remind her how normal and healthy it is. I struggled because no one else in my yr had them and they use to make jokes about "surfboards" aka pads and I would be so ashamed and go to sick bay and pretend I was sick so I could go home (this happened both when I had my periods and when I didnt). I understand what your parent friend is saying about making this as normal as possible and she goes back to school, but I would cut her a break this time, as any woman knows the first time you get your periods is terrfying but being so young, I think it makes it that little bit harder.

I went on the pill at 13, but more for pain and regularity rather than trying to stop them.

HTH. original.gif

#21 42n8

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:21 AM

As someone who got her first period at 'just' 8yo all I can say is please be gentle with her. My experience was horrific and handled poorly by my school, my parents (mum was initially shocked but was great after that - my father on the other hand...) and well, just about everyone. Even our GP (a man) didnt help me understand what was happening to me. They all just made me feel like a freak.

After struggling with fertility issues later in life I have actually had several conversations with my FS's and Ob about starting early (and although the 2 are unlikely to be related) they have helped me let go of alot of the residual resentment and trauma of my experience and to prepare for the possibility of my own daughters being early bloomers too.

My advice, celebrate it with her. Do something special - just the 2 of you. Yes, explain it. Over and over again if you have to. Answer her questions - all of them and dont be coy - be honest.  Periods are apart of becoming a woman so make it special for her. Dont make her feel like this is unsual - it's perfectly normal and she's no freak (cos my bet is that's what she's thinking - I did) she's just growing up.

Yes. Give her some time off school if SHE wants it. She's going to have alot of information to take in and this will be a big adjustment for her but dont treat that time off school like she's sick. Go out. Do grown up things like buying her her first bra, getting her nails done, a facial, high tea...whatever is something you both will enjoy. Hopefully it will be a bonding experience for you both.

Good luck & congratulations to your daughter.

#22 Mummytoyou

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:24 AM

Oh poor baby, one of my girls started at 10 and I thought that was young.  Dd's were very on/off for a year after that, she'd have one, then none for several months - I hope that might be the case for your dd.
I'd keep her home tomorrow, it's a lot to think about dealing with at school.  Explain that's it's a normal part of becoming a bigger girl. I wouldn't go into too many details about sex just yet, I'd stick to the basic details.
Explain about the sanitary bins, at dd's school they only have one toilet that has a sani bin so she has to make sure she goes in that one at that time of the month.
Not sure what her teachers are like but dd's are brilliant and I had a quiet word to let them now when she started just so there wasn't any issue if she needed to go to the loo a bit more than usual.


#23 MrsLexiK

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:24 AM

I was 9 or 10 (ie was within days of my 10th birthday I just can't remember which side now sorry) so hugs to your daughter.  I knew what your period was though so I knew what I had.  I tried to hide it from my parents, and I rememebr when my mum found out she was going to tell dad and I was mortifid!  ohmy.gif

I didn't get time off for the first few, (they were light and mostly happened in the holidays) however the next couple were heavy (and pretty heavy) and I used to get pain.  I used to have 2 days off in grade 5 and 6. I can't remember but there were also days off in high school that I would have (I have also had to have days off whilst working so I suppose I am not typical for pain and heaviness as I do have issues)

I know there can be more issues as you age if you get your period earlier (I am not telling you this to worry you just so that if she complains about something you arm yourself with information), but once you have it I don't know if they can stop it other then with the concrecption (or hormonal pills) I know in NZ there was a mother who was going through hormonal treatment with her daughter as she wanted to delay the onset of her period.

I would keep her home tomorrow, and I would do something fun with her, hell whilst she is still (and always will be) your little girl she has just matured alot.  

Hopefully like my mother found with me, you will find that she probably won't tell you she hates you when she is a teenager or be a naughty bad teenager with attitude as she would have been through the hormonal changes already (the same cannot be said for my sister who got hers at a more acceptable age)

(if you want me to delete when you delete send me a PM and I will be happy to original.gif )

#24 =R2=

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:26 AM

Your poor daughter to be in a lot of pain and to learn about well.........everything about her changing body.

I have 2 girls  (8.5 and 6) and they know all about periods (and basic puberty and sex education). Hell they've seen me with my period so many times and also seen my blood so I'm sure it wouldn't be such a shock to them when the time comes. Make sure that you and your husband plan to take her out to dinner or something to celebrate and mark this special time in her life.



#25 ZombieMum

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:29 AM

OMG your poor DD. What a shock it must be for you both

I think you should let her stay home until it's over, because of her age. Get a good DVD, some snacks (like chocolate) and spend some time together watching the movie.

There are some fantastic books out there for her to read - I think the more books/knowledge she has, the better she will be able to handle it. Your local library might have some - but I took my DD1 shopping (before she was developing) and we had a special morning out and got bought some great books so that she could read them any time she had questions.

Secret Girls Business is one good book.


QUOTE (bakesgirls @ 29/11/2012, 11:58 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why would you need to take your DD to a doctor? Just tell her all about it. She needs to know now, not when you feel up to telling her about it.

Because developing too early can lead to some problems later in life. It can affect their height and there can be some health issue associated with developing too early.

I would have taken her to the Dr at the first signs of puberty - in fact I did that with one of my kids because I read on EB about precocious puberty - my DD was tiny as it was, and the last thing she needed was to go through puberty. Fortunately things settled down for her and hopefully it's another year or 4 away. laughing2.gif





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