Jump to content

Really scared about child care and sickness


  • Please log in to reply
42 replies to this topic

#1 Tarantara

Posted 29 November 2012 - 06:45 AM

I will preface this by saying that I have some anxiety issues for which I am seeking professional treatment.

In February I will be returning to work, and my son will need to go into child care. He will be 11 months old when he starts going, for 3 or 4 days per week.

So far, everyone I know whose children have gone into centres for daycare have experienced illness after illness. Gastro, colds, snot, sick children and parents in general.

I honestly can't imagine coping with the same situation, for several reasons.

First, it would be horrible to have to see my son less, and only see him sick when I do get to spend time with him. I don't want to make him sick! He has, up till now, only had one tiny cold. No gastro or cough or fever. I don't want him to suffer being crook all the time sad.gif

Second, neither my partner nor I cope well with inadequate sleep. Once I am contending with work as well, my ability to cope with reduced sleep will be compromised even further. I'm pretty sure a constantly sick boy will stop me from sleeping enough to remain mentally healthy.

Third, my work won't put up with me constantly taking time off for carers leave.

Aim wondering if family daycare is any better for avoiding this seemingly inevitable life of constant illness?

Is it inevitable that my son will be constantly sick in child care?

How do people cope with this?

#2 cinnabubble

Posted 29 November 2012 - 06:53 AM

Some illness is inevitable, but it doesn't need to be ongoing. Expect a snotty nose all Winter, but that doesn't mean constant illness IYKWIM. I suggest you talk to your partner about sharing the days off when they come. Also, sleep deprivation is pretty much par for the course while parenting young children and working (ask me how I know) so you probably need to put in place strategies to manage this.

#3 caroldiem

Posted 29 November 2012 - 06:56 AM

Unfortunately OP it is inevitable and if you avoid childcare now then when he goes to school supposedly it will be even worse. Unfortunately they have to get sick to build their immunity.

I can understand why you feel the way you do, for personal reasons of my own I am also very paranoid about illness in childcare centres.

The thing i would like to stress is if your child is sick PLEASE keep them at home, sorry but i get really angry when parents put their work before their childs needs, if your child is running a fever or is lethargic they need to be home not sent to daycare so they can infect other kids who may have a pregnant MUM (like myself) who unfortunately had their unborn baby die because a parent at my daughters daycare decided to send her kid who was sick (parvo virus) to daycare my daughter caught it gave it to me and my baby died...............

#4 Missy Shelby

Posted 29 November 2012 - 06:57 AM

TBH I think kids being sick is just a part of life.

Although my kids are not in childcare they still get sick, I think it is kids that make kids sick not child care itself.

I know some kids that go to child care and yes they seem to be sick all the time but then I see other kids that go to child care that are not sick as much.  I think it does depend on the individual child.

Good luck OP, wishing you a smooth and healthy transition in cc.

#5 katrina24

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:10 AM

Hi OP, I'm sorry you are feeling like this.  I thought I would quickly share my experiences of childcare with your.  My first DD did get a lot of ear infections in her first 18 months of childcare (she started just before 8 months) and we did have to miss work a lot. But, if she wasn't so prone to ear infections (anatomically) then she would have likely missed less childcare because the virus that often caused them would only cause mild cold symptoms in other kids I think.  DD1 is now 7 and in her 2 full years at school and 1 at preschool I think she has missed well under 5 days due to illness (I don't think she has missed school at all this year and maybe one day last year with an ear infection).  DD1 has had gastro once and it was very mild.

DD2 has been in childcare since 11 months.  She has never had gastro.  She has had a few of the regular early childhood viral infections but mostly these have been mild and not too much of an issue.  She is coming up to 5 and I can't remember the last time we had to miss a day of work due to her illness.

I remember feeling very stressed, emotional and anxious before my DD started CC but the reality was far less awful than the expectation.  I couldn't bear the thought of being away from her so much when she was just a tiny baby still (almost 8 months).  She went into care 3 days per week and it had no impact on our relationship at all.  We were and still are very close.  You will still be her mum regardless of whether she attends childcare.

With regards to your comment about family daycare it may be worth investigating this option.  Illness is only one factor to consider.  There are a lot of factors to consider e.g., age of kids in care, set up of home and yard, transport while in care, how meals work, what happens if the carer is sick etc.  The answer to these questions varies with different carers so it's important to find out.  It ends up being a personal preference in the end as to whether you choose a centre or family daycare.

Best of luck.

#6 Crap Napper

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:11 AM

I was the same as you OP, when I went back to work hen DS was 8 months old. Yes, he got every bug under the sun, and yes, DH and I copped many of them as well. It was awful! But, we survived, and by baby number 2 we coped a lot better. by baby number three, there is hardly a time when SOMEONE in the family isn't feeling something LOL. It really is just life, and you have no option but to let it happen sometimes. If illness doesn't strike in daycare, it will in kinder. If not in kinder, then in school. It is a necessary part of growing up, and the more you can roll with the punches the easier it will be on all of you.

#7 jobo77

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:12 AM

Maybe we have just been lucky but we haven't had the constant illnesses that everyone says daycare brings. My kids only go 2 days a week though so not sure if that makes a difference.
Winter is pretty much what seems like a constant runny nose but they have never had gastro or anything serious. Honestly some of my friends kids that dont go to childcare get sicker more often than mine so I think some of it has to do with immunity and how the child copes with being sick. Some kids can still be totally fine, running around with gastro and temps and others will be flattened by just a runny nose (sounds like the men I know!).
I think all you can do is take it as it comes and try and have some plans in place for if the worst happens and your DS gets sick.
All the best  original.gif

#8 CourtesanNewton

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:24 AM

TBH OP you're probably going to have a shocking run of illness at some point whether your LO goes to daycare or not. If you see other people in your day to day life it's inevitable, whether it happens at one year old, or three years as happened to us this year....DS basically had a bug of some description every second week for 4 months, and gave them all to DH and I. One or two of the bugs were from daycare, but the rest were from family, friends or just everyday life.
All that being said, family daycare probably would have less illness floating around.

#9 jennywin

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:30 AM

I dont believe that you have to be sick to build immunity. To be immune from a particular bug, yes you have to have been exposed to it, but you can also have a good immune system and not catch everything. However the child care environment, closed, lots of touching, kids getting dropped off when sick, will tend to be more condusive to spreading bugs.

Having said that my kids have not attended child care, but after the age of 18 months on average get one gastro bug and 3 mild colds per year. At kindergarten it hasnt really increased. They get it from somewhere or other shops/pools/friends if you get out of the closed home environment. You can stall it a for a while, but its inevitable. Although the amount of bugs will increase with childcare because of the environment I think.

#10 casime

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:31 AM

My DS started in July at aged six months.  He's had a runny nose for most of the first few months, but not enough to have actually ever missed a day of daycare.  I've coped it worse, and seem to have had cold after cold all winter.   I think it's one of those things you just have to deal with.  You're going to have to deal with it now, or deal with it later when he starts school.  You can't shield them from it forever.

#11 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:34 AM

Carol so sorry for your loss.  

OP yes they do get a lot of illness.   But you will get that anywhere they play with each other and use the same toys whether that is daycare or playgroup or Gymbaroo.

Certainly all the other toddlers in my MG (who do a lot of activities like gymbaroo and rhyme time but not daycare) have had the same amount of illness if not more.  

I imagine family daycare would be the same, but it is a few less kids to contact.  

My son has had a lot of ear infections, but as PP said he was prone to them and this has been fixed with grommets.  Since then he has had a few sniffles.  He hasn't had gastro, although there were some cases at his centre.  

It is a battle to manage time off work, but at the end of the day the employer has to cope - its the law.  I make sure I do some work from home and take calls when I need a day off and that I really put in when I am there.  

I do really miss him.  I actually find that good for our relationship, as on my home days I am excited to be doing things with him and really value the time instead of feeling burdened.   I like to have 3 days a week of being clean and enjoying grown up activities as well.  

But do you really have to go back to work?   Sounds like you aren't ready at all.   Even an extra 3 months might make you feel more comfortable.

Edited by meggs1, 29 November 2012 - 07:35 AM.


#12 niggles

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:53 AM

My daughter attended for 3 years and didn't get any more sickness than the average kid. The way you've written it, it sounds like you're talking it up in your head to be much bigger than you need to. It's completely within a normal range for a toddler to get 4 colds a year (according to our GP). I don't think mine even got that many. My 11 month old started recently and got his first cold a week later but it really wasn't a big deal. I suspect he got it not from daycare but from his older sister.

I've never experienced the constant colds and illnesses and runny noses people associate with daycare. You might not either. You need to work so you'll manage it. Get your partner on board too. I work part time and often have lots of people waiting for me so my DH has often been the one to stay home when our DD is sick.

#13 Tarantara

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:59 AM

Thanks for the replies. It helps to hear some stories that are not all bad. I suppose nobody talks about 'oh, my kids are so healthy this week', so I don't really hear stuff in my day to day life that are reassuring.

Unfortunately I don't have a lot of choice about returning to work  sad.gif

I keep telling myself that I will still be with him for almost half the week, and it could be a lot worse.

#14 adl

Posted 29 November 2012 - 08:02 AM

My DS is in family care,  has been since 11 months so about 16mths all up,   ... he goes 4 days..

He hasnt had a great deal of illness?  One tummy bug that he didnt get there but gave to his carer - ( sharing boy) a couple of colds ,  one bout bad in winter with 4 days being home with me unwell as temp....and that gave him an ear infection... and a mystery fever for 3 days no other symptons ... really nothing and sleep wise a couple of disturbed nights ... nothing panadol / nurofen didnt fix..

I have been recommended and I do  give him Inner Health plus for Kids to help his immune system after being sick or the few times he has had antibiotics....  I must say he loves vegies and eats them before anything else

However my GFs DS same age is constantly sick and he doesnt go to any type of care at all as she is a SAHM at the moment!  So go figure!  With a new baby he doesnt go to many playgrounds etc so I think some are just abit more suspectible to bugs than others....

So really I dont think it is purely a day care thing?  

I wish you well with your anxiety treatment, and hope this helps you as it really isnt a given that your child will be constantly sick....



#15 adl

Posted 29 November 2012 - 08:05 AM

Just wanted to add..... try and look at your pick up and drop off times... we go early so finish earlier and have more time in the afternoon / night before bed time.  Kids get up pretty early so he is basically dropped off before 7.30 and DH is home with him by 4.30,  I am home at 5...loads of time to play,  have dinner, bath and bedtime stories and cuddles....

consider requesting flexible start / finish times at work or share the drop / pick with your partner?

#16 bjk76

Posted 29 November 2012 - 08:21 AM

DS (20mo) doesn't go to daycare, but when he was around 12mo he got sick a lot because the babies in our mothers' group had started going to daycare part time. We also go to Kindergym and he would seem to pick up things from there as well. He's only had colds, nothing else, though, but that could be just luck. Now his immune system is stronger and he hasn't been sick in a long time - months.

In relation to carer's leave, your husband should be entitled to it as well, so don't think that you should always be the one to take time off work when your son is sick.

Good luck!

#17 Velvetta

Posted 29 November 2012 - 08:28 AM

Apparently the more bugs they pick up early, the healthier they are later, but it is a nuisance too and really no treatments work, all those gunky syrups and so on. As a PP said, probiotics - just sprinkle the powder in their food, it's tasteless, vit C (via foo preferably) and lots of exercise and sunshine are all great preventatives.

My DH and I alternate sick child collection. I recommend co sleeping too for that extra time together.

#18 whatnamenow

Posted 29 November 2012 - 08:33 AM

In a year as a family daycare educator with 4 fulltime kids in care i have had 1 child go home once with gastro.  I also had one day where a child would ordinarily have to stay home with flu but mum had to go into work for an hour.  As at that time i didnt have any other kids in care to pass it on too i was able to agree with this with the mum.  I am very biased but love family daycare.

#19 Blossom73

Posted 29 November 2012 - 08:40 AM

My son started LDC at 11 months old 3 days a week. In the 11 months he has attended, he has had 3 days off for sickness (gastro), and I've picked him up early twice. He has had a few colds as well, but unless he is really unhappy, or has a fever we are not required by our center to keep him home.

TBH, I think some sickness is inevitable with toddlers, unless they are in a bubble. Share the days off with your partner and my hope is that your work will be understanding. Good luck!



#20 zingy

Posted 29 November 2012 - 08:46 AM

I kept my twins at home till they were 3, almost 4 cause I absolutely dreaded them getting sick.

They started preschool at the beginning of this year and I'm sorry to say that it's been a year of vomiting, hand foot and mouth, snot, sore throats, temps, coughs etc etc.

My eldest went to daycare from when he was 2 and it was the same with him. I did have to take quite a few days off work or ask my Mum to help out during the first 12 months.

In my experience no matter when they start, it's a year of sickness and then after that you're OK and it only happens occasionally.

Probably not what you wanted to hear!

#21 stressnless9

Posted 29 November 2012 - 08:50 AM

i do notice a huge difference from my boy and my sisters 2 boys who are in daycare 3 days a week, they are constantly sick. Mine has had the odd cold here and there. Also my step DS goes to daycare a few times a week and was constantly sick too.

Its bound to happen, one way or another daycare or when they start school. i just prefer sick school age children than my 8 month old that would be constantly crying & whingy! especially when hes already teething!!! not  a good mix!

Im not against daycare either! I just dont need it so i dont use it! I work at a daycare and its amazing the amount of children that turn up quite clearly sick.....

#22 qak

Posted 29 November 2012 - 08:51 AM

Illness is pretty inevitable with kids.  It's not something you can really worry about - DS has repeated bouts of ear infections during winter, gets the irritated annoying coughs, and seems to pick up vomit bugs easily, while DD has had hardly any sick days.

Share the carer leave with your partner so it is not always you.

#23 laridae

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:00 AM

QUOTE (caroldiem @ 29/11/2012, 07:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
because a parent at my daughters daycare decided to send her kid who was sick (parvo virus) to daycare my daughter caught it gave it to me and my baby died...............


As sad as that is - they are contagious before the symptoms appear, not so much after, so the kid probably wasn't 'sick' at the time.
One of those freak occurrences that you can't really prevent unfortunately.

OP, my DD has been going to daycare since 5 months old.  She's now 24 months old.  In that time, shes had conjunctivitis 3 or 4 times, numerous colds, and a permanent snotty nose over winter, but not gastro or anything worse. All in all, if you are going to get some of the 'childhood diseases' (that aren't vaccinated against), its probably better to get them while young and the consequences for some of them can be a lot worse as an adult (case in point - parvo.  %50 of the adult population has already had it so are now immune).

#24 caroldiem

Posted 29 November 2012 - 09:07 AM

very true laridae original.gif

#25 Bluenomi

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:04 AM

Kids are going to get sick once you have more than 2 or 3 of them around from different places. Family daycare, childcare centres, school, play grounds, etc, they can get a bug from anywhere.

I found DD didn't get sick until her first winter in care. The previous 6 months she got nothing but that first winter she got all sorts of thing. But she didn't get as sick as some kids (I thank the fact she was still breast feeding, I swear it helped) and this year she barely had any sick days. You just need to ride out that first winter.

Be warned though, we had a few times where DD was fine but passed something onto DH and I so we were sick and she wasn't. That was far worse to deal with!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win a copy of 'Breakfast, School Run, Chemo'

To celebrate the launch of EB member and contributor Julia's Watson's first book, we have five copies of Breakfast, School Run, Chemo give away.

Electronic tags may keep newborns safe

The possibility of using electronic bracelets for mothers and their newborn babies is being investigated by Adelaide's Women's and Children's Hospital. 

Baby steps: when your little one starts walking

As a parent there are so many milestones to look forward to. That first smile, first word - and, of course, that first step.

Julia Watson's new book 'Breakfast, School Run, Chemo'

Tomorrow my friend Julia launches her first book. And while we're all overjoyed, the success is tinged with sadness. You see, Julia has stage 4 bowel cancer.

How not to name twins

Call me boring, but I don't think that when it comes to choosing my twins' names is the right time to use a good pun.

Fun Sunny Life pool inflatables just for babies

The babies of 2015 will thus be thrilled to paddle their happy baby legs in these brand new flamingo and swan baby inflatables.

Breastfeeding basics for beginners

Here are 10 tips to help make breastfeeding successful and stress free for both you and your baby as quickly as possible.

Girl smothers baby brother with peanut butter

This mum had a big clean up job on her hands.

How to hide those under eye shadows

Pandas are the only ones who benefit from under-eye shadows. If you're not fluffy and cute, you'll just look tired.

Young mum dies after being denied pap smear

A mother has died after she was denied a pap smear because she was deemed "too young" to need it.

Birthday cakes banned at childcare centre

A childcare centre in Sydney has banned birthday cakes after parent complaints about excessive sugar and children with allergies being left out.

Triplet surprise for newlyweds

As the radiographer moved the wand over her abdomen, Shelley King got the surprise of her life.

3 yummy Thermomix baby and toddler recipes

Louise Fulton Keats shares her recipes for babies and toddlers, including corn and sweet pikelets, pumpkin and pea risotto, and cheesy bunny biscuits.

Man arrested over toddler Nikki's death

A 31-year-old man has been arrested over the death of two-year-old Nikki Francis-Coslovich in Mildura.

Adoption ban on pregnant women to be lifted

Pregnant women will no longer be barred from adoption waiting lists in NSW, after the Baird Government decided the practice was discriminatory.

Are you getting enough magnesium?

Magnesium is the fourth most abundant mineral in the body, but we don't talk enough about it and the vital role it plays in great health and energy, as well as disease prevention.

5 workplace lessons for new parents

Take heart in these principles that will transfer seamlessly from the workplace into your new life as a parent.

Mums to follow on Instagram

A creative outlet for many, there are some savvy women complementing their blogs and businesses with riveting Instagrams feeds. We've chosen a few which have bucketloads of appeal; there are some big time players and some smaller local ones, and they each bring their special brand of magic to the Instagram experience.

Review: The Volvo 2015 XC90 SUV has all the safety features your family needs

The new Volvo XC90 SUV's focus on keeping you safe does not come at the expense of comfort in the XC90.

Kim Kardashian reveals she may have hysterectomy

Kim Kardashian has revealed complications during pregnancy means she might have to have a hysterectomy after the birth of her second child.

Why late night snacks wreak havoc on weight loss

 Loath as you may be to admit it, chances are that at some point you have found yourself in the kitchen late at night, devouring food.

Toddler twins pretend to be asleep to fool mum

They say twins have a unique connection. If this cute clip is anything to go by, these toddler sisters like to use their special bond to try to fool their mother.

Dad bags: 10 picks for out and about

Getting out of the house is a big priority in the early years of parenthood and you need to take a well-stocked kit with you. We've chosen 10 of the best nappy bags sure to appeal to dads in style and function.

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Dads who do their share have more sex: study

For women trying to encourage their partners to take more interest in fatherhood, it could be the ultimate incentive.

Think you might have IBS, coeliac disease or Crohn's?

Conditions affecting the gastrointestinal tract are common in modern humans, and many are on the rise - including irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and coeliac disease.

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer.

The exercises you know you should be doing (but probably aren't)

I bet your to-do list today is long. But somewhere on that massive list, are you making time for your pelvic floor?

This baby really loves the family cat

Some babies get excited when mum or dad come to get them from their cot after a nap.

Designer kids clothing good enough to eat by Oeuf

Even if you aren't heading to the Northern hemisphere in the next six months, you can't help but love the amazing food-themed knits for babies and kids by cult kids brand Oeuf.

Early exposure to peanuts recommended for allergy prevention

A paediatricians' group is recommending that infants at high risk of peanut allergies be given foods containing peanuts before they turn one.

Home brand foods contain less salt than pricier rivals

Supermarket home brand foods, long derided as cheap and inferior, contain far lower levels of salt than pricier, branded rivals, new research shows.

Nannies for hire, wherever you're flying

Ever dreaded the prospect of a long flight, dreaming about how wonderful it would be for a nanny to entertain the kids?

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer: with an unusual photo shoot with their 'baby', a groodle (poodle/golden retriever cross) named Humphrey. The talented Elisha from Elisha Minnette Photography caught all the precious shots.

Is it okay to name your baby with a sense of humour?

My husband was sure that Danger was a good option for a boy. And as the pregnancy progressed, it actually started to sound really good.

Woman gives birth after having her own mother's uterus transplanted

In a world first, a healthy baby has been born from the same womb that nurtured his own mother.

So hot right now: double-barrelled baby names on the rise

It's one way to make your baby stand out from the pack – giving them not one, but two first names.

Second time around: is it really better the devil you know?

When I fell pregnant with my second child I was, naturally, very excited. Then it all started to come back to me - and I freaked.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

How did we have babies before apps came along?

Three months ago, my wife, Chrysta, and I were driving along Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles when she let out a harrowing cry.

When your toddler disagrees

There comes a time when your child starts having different views to you. I didn't realise that time would come so soon.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

 

FREE TICKET

Discover the magic of the LEGOŽ DUPLOŽ Play Area in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.