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Reaction to people in labour?


33 replies to this topic

#1 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:27 PM

What is wrong with me lol? I just picked up my partner from hospital (had a little work accident) & upon arriving at the emergency room a a girl about my age walked in holding on to her partner (I assume) very obviously in labour, crying ect & after she had walked past I found myself rolling my eyes at her & feeling mad!! I also had quite a similar reaction to watching one born every minute. Does anyone else have that reaction? Or any ideas why I might? I'm a little disturbed at myself to be honest lol?

#2 bakesgirls

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:29 PM

I usually feel a little excited for them, and sorry for them too when I think about how painful it can be.

#3 bluedragon

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:31 PM

Mad at what exactly? That she was making noise? In obvious distress?

Sounds weird to me.

What were you like in labour? Did you have the same reaction to yourself  wink.gif

#4 CherrySunday

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:32 PM

I feel a bit jealous sometimes... I love giving birth!

#5 Chelli

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:32 PM

I would have nothing but empathy. There may be a physical reason why she's crying, for some it's excruciating pain. There may be another reason why she's crying - perhaps she has lost a child previously and is terrified. Either way, I really don't think it's anyone's place to judge.

#6 imamumto3

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:34 PM

maybe you handled labour differently or have a higher pain threshold.

I think some of he women on one born every minute are hilarious and over the top.  but I had quick, relatively painless, very easy births so I don't really know what it's like to have a hard labour.

#7 ubermum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:35 PM

I feel a bit excited, a tad jealous and a little sad because I won't ever get to do that again.

#8 Guest_Wyn99_*

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:36 PM

I'd feel sympathy, understanding that what she is about to go through hurts alot. Why did you roll your eyes? I'd say your reaction may reflect your labour experience, sorry.

#9 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:39 PM

It is really strange! I wonder if I'm a little bit jealous I can't wait to have another baby? I was definitely excited for her, I wanted to run back to her & say UR DOING GREAT & IT'S GOING TO BE SOOOO WORTH IT VERY SOON IT'S THE BEST THING EVEEEERR, but DS was crying & I was stressed out! I have always been a little bit awkward around other showing pain? Lol trust me I know VERY WELL how excruciating it can be, I don't know if I cried but I would say I was quite obviously distressed by the time I got to the hospital so I am definitely not judging. I just don't know why I felt that way?

#10 -river-

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:45 PM

I would feel relief that its not me having to do that again, ever. I'd also feel excited for her cause babies are awesome.

#11 StopTheGoats

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:46 PM

I also don't respond well when anyone has an episode of extreme emotion. I have a slower processing speed I think than other people. Put me in a physical emergency and I'm your gal, but extremely emotional moments like death or separation I'll help you organise anything and listen to you cry but I'll probably do so in a similar manner to a shag on a rock (not the good kind!).

I watch one born every minute with a feeling of distaste at the drama of it all. Of course I get teary when the babies are born and afraid when things go wrong and I do feel a sense of empathy once the episode is over but watching all that extremity makes me uncomfortable.

I can totally understand free birthers. My idea of hell is other people watching me out of control.



#12 HurryUpAlready

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:48 PM

QUOTE (*Browncoat* @ 28/11/2012, 07:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I feel a bit jealous sometimes... I love giving birth!



Me too!!!!!!


#13 HurryUpAlready

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:50 PM

QUOTE (JuniorSpies @ 28/11/2012, 07:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can totally understand free birthers. My idea of hell is other people watching me out of control.


At no point during the birth of my DD did I feel out of control.


#14 B.feral3

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:52 PM

My toes curl.

When my son was transferred from a major hospital NICU to our local hospital, the small, 6 bed SCN was directly next door to the labour ward and the walls were thin. It was terrible. On some occasions I had to leave the room it was so horrendous.

#15 ekbaby

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:53 PM

2 thoughts-

- did anyone respond to you when you were in labour with a less than compassionate attitude? Did you feel like hospital staff, or your partner, dismissed your pain, told you to "harden up", that these were only practice contractions and you shouldn't be complaining etc? Perhaps if you didn't feel listened to or supported, you are now reacting in that way to another person?
- maybe you are jealous and wish you were having another baby?

#16 WinterIsComing

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:05 PM

QUOTE (HurryUpAlready @ 28/11/2012, 09:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
At no point during the birth of my DD did I feel out of control.


Good for you, you win a medal.
I did, the pain completely overwhelmed me.

OP, I would say it is some unresolved issues. I remember watching a birth video when I was a young woman and feeling very angry. I now know is that I just wasn't comfortable with my femininity.


#17 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:15 PM

Wow ekbaby u r spot on! When I had my son when I got to the hospital the midwife on duty told me that because it was my first baby  & I hadn't been in labour very long it seemed I was experiencing false labour so she put me in the post natal ward & requested I stay in bed to rest. I did as I was told (dummy). Several times she came & asked me to keep it down because women & there babies were trying to rest, she said stop breathing like that u need to calm urself down. Try & get some sleep. When I finally walked myself to the delivery room where MY midwife had just arrived & was examined & was found to be 10cms dilated. Yay!!! I feel like I would have coped a lot better if that twit didn't keep telling me I wasn't in labour but learned to listen to my own body better. I can't wait to give birth again, & I'm hoping next time I can be in a better frame of mind (I know it will still hurt ect but I hope to be calmer) & of course I get so jealous because I can't wait to have another little squishy biggrin.gif

#18 Sparklemax

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:31 PM

Judging a woman in labour because she is crying, what will EB think of next?  How dare people cry at their loved ones funerals maybe?

#19 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:36 PM

Flylikeabutterfly where did I say I was judging her? I COMPLETELY understand crying in labour I'm not an idiot. I was not judging her in anyway. Maybe u might want to hop down from ur high horse & read the rest f the posts? If anybody is judging here it's definitely u.

#20 Mummy Em

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:39 PM

QUOTE (asha9 @ 28/11/2012, 07:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It is really strange! I wonder if I'm a little bit jealous I can't wait to have another baby? I was definitely excited for her, I wanted to run back to her & say UR DOING GREAT & IT'S GOING TO BE SOOOO WORTH IT VERY SOON IT'S THE BEST THING EVEEEERR, but DS was crying & I was stressed out! I have always been a little bit awkward around other showing pain? Lol trust me I know VERY WELL how excruciating it can be, I don't know if I cried but I would say I was quite obviously distressed by the time I got to the hospital so I am definitely not judging. I just don't know why I felt that way?

How do your family of origin deal with people in pain? Did you get told to be a big girl, it didn't hurt that much etc a lot as a kid?

My other thought is perhaps it is a control thing. You can't fix someone else's pain and do you find it difficult because you feel useless?

#21 Sparklemax

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:57 PM

QUOTE (asha9 @ 28/11/2012, 10:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
upon arriving at the emergency room a a girl about my age walked in holding on to her partner (I assume) very obviously in labour, crying ect & after she had walked past I found myself rolling my eyes at her & feeling mad!!


So you were feeling mad (your words) at a woman obviously in labour and distressed because she was crying.

You don't know what she was going through. Maybe she was having a MC or a premmie or was just terrified of giving birth as most first time mothers are. Maybe she was in a car accident and was worried for her unborn child.

Why would you roll your eyes and feel mad at a woman in pain? Is it so weak and undesirable to show emotion in a public place as such as a hospital?

#22 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:07 PM

QUOTE (asha9 @ 28/11/2012, 10:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It is really strange! I wonder if I'm a little bit jealous I can't wait to have another baby? I was definitely excited for her, I wanted to run back to her & say UR DOING GREAT & IT'S GOING TO BE SOOOO WORTH IT VERY SOON IT'S THE BEST THING EVEEEERR, but DS was crying & I was stressed out! I have always been a little bit awkward around other showing pain? Lol trust me I know VERY WELL how excruciating it can be, I don't know if I cried but I would say I was quite obviously distressed by the time I got to the hospital so I am definitely not judging. I just don't know why I felt that way?


I wasn't mad at her for crying, I'd probably cry too, I don't know y I felt mad, maybe it was at myself, so don't u judge. I never said I knew what was going on in her situation. I didn't mean to roll my eyes I don't know why it happened, as mentioned in my other posts this is EXACTLY how I would expect her to behave & I imagine I was much the same. I never said it was weak. Stop putting word in my mouth

#23 BadgerBasher

Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:16 PM

I become very nervous and on edge. Labour was hell on earth, and I'm still working through it.

#24 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:18 PM

Maybe she was crying because contractions hurt and labour can be scary too. Maybe it was something completely different - she might have been in pain for some other reason.

#25 Sancti-claws

Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:26 PM

I think in a way I understand what you are saying OP.

You don't really understand your reaction, and you were wondering if other people ever felt quite bizarre reactions to certain stimuli - in your case anger (or madness?) witnessing how another woman handled labour.

I think I understand, because I don't respond well to other''s pain - not specifically childbirth (I actually don't think I have ever witnessed another woman in labour giving me a certain reaction - I have rarely witnessed it, and was in a state of labour agitation myself at the time) - but I once had to hold the limb of a close relative still on the back of a ute going over gravel roads as Australia's wickets tumbled in an Ashes series, and I giggled like a fool the whole time.  Totally inappropriate reaction, but I couldn't counter it no matter how I tried.



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