Jump to content

Reaction to people in labour?


34 replies to this topic

#1 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:27 PM

What is wrong with me lol? I just picked up my partner from hospital (had a little work accident) & upon arriving at the emergency room a a girl about my age walked in holding on to her partner (I assume) very obviously in labour, crying ect & after she had walked past I found myself rolling my eyes at her & feeling mad!! I also had quite a similar reaction to watching one born every minute. Does anyone else have that reaction? Or any ideas why I might? I'm a little disturbed at myself to be honest lol?

#2 bakesgirls

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:29 PM

I usually feel a little excited for them, and sorry for them too when I think about how painful it can be.

#3 bluedragon

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:31 PM

Mad at what exactly? That she was making noise? In obvious distress?

Sounds weird to me.

What were you like in labour? Did you have the same reaction to yourself  wink.gif

#4 CherrySunday

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:32 PM

I feel a bit jealous sometimes... I love giving birth!

#5 Chelli

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:32 PM

I would have nothing but empathy. There may be a physical reason why she's crying, for some it's excruciating pain. There may be another reason why she's crying - perhaps she has lost a child previously and is terrified. Either way, I really don't think it's anyone's place to judge.

#6 imamumto3

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:34 PM

maybe you handled labour differently or have a higher pain threshold.

I think some of he women on one born every minute are hilarious and over the top.  but I had quick, relatively painless, very easy births so I don't really know what it's like to have a hard labour.

#7 ubermum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:35 PM

I feel a bit excited, a tad jealous and a little sad because I won't ever get to do that again.

#8 Guest_Wyn99_*

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:36 PM

I'd feel sympathy, understanding that what she is about to go through hurts alot. Why did you roll your eyes? I'd say your reaction may reflect your labour experience, sorry.

#9 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:39 PM

It is really strange! I wonder if I'm a little bit jealous I can't wait to have another baby? I was definitely excited for her, I wanted to run back to her & say UR DOING GREAT & IT'S GOING TO BE SOOOO WORTH IT VERY SOON IT'S THE BEST THING EVEEEERR, but DS was crying & I was stressed out! I have always been a little bit awkward around other showing pain? Lol trust me I know VERY WELL how excruciating it can be, I don't know if I cried but I would say I was quite obviously distressed by the time I got to the hospital so I am definitely not judging. I just don't know why I felt that way?

#10 -river-

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:45 PM

I would feel relief that its not me having to do that again, ever. I'd also feel excited for her cause babies are awesome.

#11 StopTheGoats

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:46 PM

I also don't respond well when anyone has an episode of extreme emotion. I have a slower processing speed I think than other people. Put me in a physical emergency and I'm your gal, but extremely emotional moments like death or separation I'll help you organise anything and listen to you cry but I'll probably do so in a similar manner to a shag on a rock (not the good kind!).

I watch one born every minute with a feeling of distaste at the drama of it all. Of course I get teary when the babies are born and afraid when things go wrong and I do feel a sense of empathy once the episode is over but watching all that extremity makes me uncomfortable.

I can totally understand free birthers. My idea of hell is other people watching me out of control.



#12 HurryUpAlready

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:48 PM

QUOTE (*Browncoat* @ 28/11/2012, 07:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I feel a bit jealous sometimes... I love giving birth!



Me too!!!!!!


#13 HurryUpAlready

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:50 PM

QUOTE (JuniorSpies @ 28/11/2012, 07:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can totally understand free birthers. My idea of hell is other people watching me out of control.


At no point during the birth of my DD did I feel out of control.


#14 B.feral3

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:52 PM

My toes curl.

When my son was transferred from a major hospital NICU to our local hospital, the small, 6 bed SCN was directly next door to the labour ward and the walls were thin. It was terrible. On some occasions I had to leave the room it was so horrendous.

#15 ekbaby

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:53 PM

2 thoughts-

- did anyone respond to you when you were in labour with a less than compassionate attitude? Did you feel like hospital staff, or your partner, dismissed your pain, told you to "harden up", that these were only practice contractions and you shouldn't be complaining etc? Perhaps if you didn't feel listened to or supported, you are now reacting in that way to another person?
- maybe you are jealous and wish you were having another baby?

#16 Lilymoon

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:59 PM

Seriously how can anyone say labour isn't painful! Wow!

My reaction would be to get away from her, I don't like thinking about labour for me it was painful.

#17 WinterIsComing

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:05 PM

QUOTE (HurryUpAlready @ 28/11/2012, 09:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
At no point during the birth of my DD did I feel out of control.


Good for you, you win a medal.
I did, the pain completely overwhelmed me.

OP, I would say it is some unresolved issues. I remember watching a birth video when I was a young woman and feeling very angry. I now know is that I just wasn't comfortable with my femininity.


#18 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:15 PM

Wow ekbaby u r spot on! When I had my son when I got to the hospital the midwife on duty told me that because it was my first baby  & I hadn't been in labour very long it seemed I was experiencing false labour so she put me in the post natal ward & requested I stay in bed to rest. I did as I was told (dummy). Several times she came & asked me to keep it down because women & there babies were trying to rest, she said stop breathing like that u need to calm urself down. Try & get some sleep. When I finally walked myself to the delivery room where MY midwife had just arrived & was examined & was found to be 10cms dilated. Yay!!! I feel like I would have coped a lot better if that twit didn't keep telling me I wasn't in labour but learned to listen to my own body better. I can't wait to give birth again, & I'm hoping next time I can be in a better frame of mind (I know it will still hurt ect but I hope to be calmer) & of course I get so jealous because I can't wait to have another little squishy biggrin.gif

#19 Wonderlust

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:31 PM

Judging a woman in labour because she is crying, what will EB think of next?  How dare people cry at their loved ones funerals maybe?

#20 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:36 PM

Flylikeabutterfly where did I say I was judging her? I COMPLETELY understand crying in labour I'm not an idiot. I was not judging her in anyway. Maybe u might want to hop down from ur high horse & read the rest f the posts? If anybody is judging here it's definitely u.

#21 Mummy Em

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:39 PM

QUOTE (asha9 @ 28/11/2012, 07:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It is really strange! I wonder if I'm a little bit jealous I can't wait to have another baby? I was definitely excited for her, I wanted to run back to her & say UR DOING GREAT & IT'S GOING TO BE SOOOO WORTH IT VERY SOON IT'S THE BEST THING EVEEEERR, but DS was crying & I was stressed out! I have always been a little bit awkward around other showing pain? Lol trust me I know VERY WELL how excruciating it can be, I don't know if I cried but I would say I was quite obviously distressed by the time I got to the hospital so I am definitely not judging. I just don't know why I felt that way?

How do your family of origin deal with people in pain? Did you get told to be a big girl, it didn't hurt that much etc a lot as a kid?

My other thought is perhaps it is a control thing. You can't fix someone else's pain and do you find it difficult because you feel useless?

#22 Wonderlust

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:57 PM

QUOTE (asha9 @ 28/11/2012, 10:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
upon arriving at the emergency room a a girl about my age walked in holding on to her partner (I assume) very obviously in labour, crying ect & after she had walked past I found myself rolling my eyes at her & feeling mad!!


So you were feeling mad (your words) at a woman obviously in labour and distressed because she was crying.

You don't know what she was going through. Maybe she was having a MC or a premmie or was just terrified of giving birth as most first time mothers are. Maybe she was in a car accident and was worried for her unborn child.

Why would you roll your eyes and feel mad at a woman in pain? Is it so weak and undesirable to show emotion in a public place as such as a hospital?

#23 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:07 PM

QUOTE (asha9 @ 28/11/2012, 10:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It is really strange! I wonder if I'm a little bit jealous I can't wait to have another baby? I was definitely excited for her, I wanted to run back to her & say UR DOING GREAT & IT'S GOING TO BE SOOOO WORTH IT VERY SOON IT'S THE BEST THING EVEEEERR, but DS was crying & I was stressed out! I have always been a little bit awkward around other showing pain? Lol trust me I know VERY WELL how excruciating it can be, I don't know if I cried but I would say I was quite obviously distressed by the time I got to the hospital so I am definitely not judging. I just don't know why I felt that way?


I wasn't mad at her for crying, I'd probably cry too, I don't know y I felt mad, maybe it was at myself, so don't u judge. I never said I knew what was going on in her situation. I didn't mean to roll my eyes I don't know why it happened, as mentioned in my other posts this is EXACTLY how I would expect her to behave & I imagine I was much the same. I never said it was weak. Stop putting word in my mouth

#24 BadgerBasher

Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:16 PM

I become very nervous and on edge. Labour was hell on earth, and I'm still working through it.

#25 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:18 PM

Maybe she was crying because contractions hurt and labour can be scary too. Maybe it was something completely different - she might have been in pain for some other reason.



Reply to this topic



  


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wondersuit heaven: Bonds & Disney launch exclusive collection

Bonds and Disney fans with babies to buy for will be celebrating this news. Bonds and Disney have just released collaboration Wondersuits.

Perth hospital mistakes cancerous tumour for "behavioural issues"

When Naomi Holly, a mother of three, noticed her eight-month-old daughter Nora, was having difficulty crawling and standing up as normal, she knew there was something wrong.

Piano playing dad soothes son to sleep in moments

There's nothing more frustrating, or distressing to a parent than a sick child who can't  - or won't got to sleep. 

Lucky escape for mum and bub after snake found in couch

Perth mother Laurie Rushton Dyble was sitting on a recliner chair in her home holding her six-month-old son when her husband suddenly told her to get up and leave the room.

When your partner misses the birth

While no one wants their partner to miss their baby’s birth, it can happen. Here’s what to do if you find yourself in that situation.

Motherhood challenge: smug or just a bit of fun?

The #motherhoodchallenge sounds harmless, doesn't it? Some women disagree.

Who's the mum? Family photo goes viral

Last year, it was "The Dress". This year, it is a family photo that is breaking the internet.

5 easy meditation practices for beginners

So who's with me? You know meditating is one of the best things you can possibly do for yourself.

Woman to go on trial for being a bad housewife

An Italian woman could face up to six years in jail after her husband accused her of not doing enough cooking and cleaning at home.

Is the latest advice on women and drinking over the top?

While most expectant mums know to stop drinking when they’re pregnant, experts now warn women should stop drinking earlier than that. Is this necessary?

How household chores can double as a workout

If there's less than a slim chance you'll find time to get out for a jog or to hit the gym today, take heart in knowing that household chores contribute to the calorie equation.

I have no idea what I'm doing - and that's okay

Why don't we talk about the fact that when everything goes right, we may still feel completely lost, and certain that we have failed?

Dad warns of hair tourniquet danger after baby almost loses toe

A shocked father has shared his family's experience in a bid to warn other parents about the dangers of hair becoming entangled around a baby's toe.

Town welcomes first baby in 28 years

Since the 1980s, the Italian town of Ostana had not seen the birth of a single baby.

How to start teaching your kids road safety

It's something that can be taught as early as possible and reinforced as they get older and more mobile - even from toddlerhood.

Just announced: Bugaboo Cameleon³ Classic+ Collection update

Meet the brand new understated chic model from Bugaboo.

The emotional moment a mum hears her late son's heartbeat

It's been two and a half years since Heather Clark's seven-month-old son Lukas passed away.

Nine reasons why you have 'brain fog'

One minute your productivity is skyrocketing and the next you're sitting there trying to focus – just like that you draw blank, your brain, mush.

I had a caesarean and it was beautiful

Guess what? Despite not pushing him out, I cried, and my heart skipped, and I felt the rush of love and pride when I saw him for the first time.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Penny Wong

'The most hurtful argument in the marriage equality debate'

Labor frontbencher Penny Wong is used to to hearing arguments against same-sex marriage. But for Australia's most prominent gay politician, one hurts more than others.

Does exercise have to be fun to work?

Some things in life are inherently served with a big scoop of fun: balloons, bubbles, cupcakes to name but a few, but exercise?

Hair dye gives woman second-degree burns

She wanted a fresh colour for 2016, but instead she got chemical burns.

Kelly Slater saves mum and toddler from 'freak wave'

A Perth family has thanked US surfing "legend" Kelly Slater after the star saved a mother and a young toddler from "a freak wave" in Hawaii.

Apple recalls millions of power adapters

Tech giant instigates massive international recall of power point adapters due to risk of electric shock.

Toddler's adorable alphabet goes viral

It's impossible not to share this little boy's excitement  about the alphabet.

Tot's nighttime waking saves family's life

Like all tired parents, Monique and Kyle Ruppel were looking forward to the day their 15-month-old daughter Celia would start sleeping through the night. 

Australian mum gives birth to quintuplets

An Australian mum who has shared the ups and downs of carrying quintuplets has welcomed her five babies into the world.

Dad of four girls faints at gender reveal for fifth baby

It was all too much excitement for this dad.

The simple way you can help your baby's language development

The way parents respond to their child's babbling can shape how their infants communicate.

Zika virus is 'spreading explosively': WHO

The World Health Organization announced that it will convene an emergency meeting about Zika.

National database recommended for child protection cases

Baby Ebony was repeatedly failed by the agencies tasked with her protection before her horrific death at the hands of her father, South Australia's deputy coroner says.

Hospitals put babies at risk by ignoring policy on elective caesareans

Thirty-eight weeks or 39? Non-medical factors are pushing women to have elective caesareans earlier than official guidelines - and hospitals are playing along.

Police help deliver baby on busy roadside

Two police officers delivered more than a traffic fine by the side of a busy Melbourne road yesterday.

1D's Louis Tomlinson shares first photo of baby

One Direction's Louis Tomlinson has posted the first picture of his baby boy, Freddie, on social media.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Melbourne!

Get your ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.