Jump to content

Reaction to people in labour?


34 replies to this topic

#1 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:27 PM

What is wrong with me lol? I just picked up my partner from hospital (had a little work accident) & upon arriving at the emergency room a a girl about my age walked in holding on to her partner (I assume) very obviously in labour, crying ect & after she had walked past I found myself rolling my eyes at her & feeling mad!! I also had quite a similar reaction to watching one born every minute. Does anyone else have that reaction? Or any ideas why I might? I'm a little disturbed at myself to be honest lol?

#2 bakesgirls

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:29 PM

I usually feel a little excited for them, and sorry for them too when I think about how painful it can be.

#3 bluedragon

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:31 PM

Mad at what exactly? That she was making noise? In obvious distress?

Sounds weird to me.

What were you like in labour? Did you have the same reaction to yourself  wink.gif

#4 HeroOfCanton

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:32 PM

I feel a bit jealous sometimes... I love giving birth!

#5 Chelli

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:32 PM

I would have nothing but empathy. There may be a physical reason why she's crying, for some it's excruciating pain. There may be another reason why she's crying - perhaps she has lost a child previously and is terrified. Either way, I really don't think it's anyone's place to judge.

#6 imamumto3

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:34 PM

maybe you handled labour differently or have a higher pain threshold.

I think some of he women on one born every minute are hilarious and over the top.  but I had quick, relatively painless, very easy births so I don't really know what it's like to have a hard labour.

#7 ubermum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:35 PM

I feel a bit excited, a tad jealous and a little sad because I won't ever get to do that again.

#8 Wyn99

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:36 PM

I'd feel sympathy, understanding that what she is about to go through hurts alot. Why did you roll your eyes? I'd say your reaction may reflect your labour experience, sorry.

#9 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:39 PM

It is really strange! I wonder if I'm a little bit jealous I can't wait to have another baby? I was definitely excited for her, I wanted to run back to her & say UR DOING GREAT & IT'S GOING TO BE SOOOO WORTH IT VERY SOON IT'S THE BEST THING EVEEEERR, but DS was crying & I was stressed out! I have always been a little bit awkward around other showing pain? Lol trust me I know VERY WELL how excruciating it can be, I don't know if I cried but I would say I was quite obviously distressed by the time I got to the hospital so I am definitely not judging. I just don't know why I felt that way?

#10 -river-

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:45 PM

I would feel relief that its not me having to do that again, ever. I'd also feel excited for her cause babies are awesome.

#11 StopTheGoats

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:46 PM

I also don't respond well when anyone has an episode of extreme emotion. I have a slower processing speed I think than other people. Put me in a physical emergency and I'm your gal, but extremely emotional moments like death or separation I'll help you organise anything and listen to you cry but I'll probably do so in a similar manner to a shag on a rock (not the good kind!).

I watch one born every minute with a feeling of distaste at the drama of it all. Of course I get teary when the babies are born and afraid when things go wrong and I do feel a sense of empathy once the episode is over but watching all that extremity makes me uncomfortable.

I can totally understand free birthers. My idea of hell is other people watching me out of control.



#12 HurryUpAlready

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:48 PM

QUOTE (*Browncoat* @ 28/11/2012, 07:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I feel a bit jealous sometimes... I love giving birth!



Me too!!!!!!


#13 HurryUpAlready

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:50 PM

QUOTE (JuniorSpies @ 28/11/2012, 07:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can totally understand free birthers. My idea of hell is other people watching me out of control.


At no point during the birth of my DD did I feel out of control.


#14 B.feral3

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:52 PM

My toes curl.

When my son was transferred from a major hospital NICU to our local hospital, the small, 6 bed SCN was directly next door to the labour ward and the walls were thin. It was terrible. On some occasions I had to leave the room it was so horrendous.

#15 ekbaby

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:53 PM

2 thoughts-

- did anyone respond to you when you were in labour with a less than compassionate attitude? Did you feel like hospital staff, or your partner, dismissed your pain, told you to "harden up", that these were only practice contractions and you shouldn't be complaining etc? Perhaps if you didn't feel listened to or supported, you are now reacting in that way to another person?
- maybe you are jealous and wish you were having another baby?

#16 Lilymoon

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:59 PM

Seriously how can anyone say labour isn't painful! Wow!

My reaction would be to get away from her, I don't like thinking about labour for me it was painful.

#17 WinterIsComing

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:05 PM

QUOTE (HurryUpAlready @ 28/11/2012, 09:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
At no point during the birth of my DD did I feel out of control.


Good for you, you win a medal.
I did, the pain completely overwhelmed me.

OP, I would say it is some unresolved issues. I remember watching a birth video when I was a young woman and feeling very angry. I now know is that I just wasn't comfortable with my femininity.


#18 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:15 PM

Wow ekbaby u r spot on! When I had my son when I got to the hospital the midwife on duty told me that because it was my first baby  & I hadn't been in labour very long it seemed I was experiencing false labour so she put me in the post natal ward & requested I stay in bed to rest. I did as I was told (dummy). Several times she came & asked me to keep it down because women & there babies were trying to rest, she said stop breathing like that u need to calm urself down. Try & get some sleep. When I finally walked myself to the delivery room where MY midwife had just arrived & was examined & was found to be 10cms dilated. Yay!!! I feel like I would have coped a lot better if that twit didn't keep telling me I wasn't in labour but learned to listen to my own body better. I can't wait to give birth again, & I'm hoping next time I can be in a better frame of mind (I know it will still hurt ect but I hope to be calmer) & of course I get so jealous because I can't wait to have another little squishy biggrin.gif

#19 PoshMosh

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:31 PM

Judging a woman in labour because she is crying, what will EB think of next?  How dare people cry at their loved ones funerals maybe?

#20 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:36 PM

Flylikeabutterfly where did I say I was judging her? I COMPLETELY understand crying in labour I'm not an idiot. I was not judging her in anyway. Maybe u might want to hop down from ur high horse & read the rest f the posts? If anybody is judging here it's definitely u.

#21 Mummy Em

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:39 PM

QUOTE (asha9 @ 28/11/2012, 07:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It is really strange! I wonder if I'm a little bit jealous I can't wait to have another baby? I was definitely excited for her, I wanted to run back to her & say UR DOING GREAT & IT'S GOING TO BE SOOOO WORTH IT VERY SOON IT'S THE BEST THING EVEEEERR, but DS was crying & I was stressed out! I have always been a little bit awkward around other showing pain? Lol trust me I know VERY WELL how excruciating it can be, I don't know if I cried but I would say I was quite obviously distressed by the time I got to the hospital so I am definitely not judging. I just don't know why I felt that way?

How do your family of origin deal with people in pain? Did you get told to be a big girl, it didn't hurt that much etc a lot as a kid?

My other thought is perhaps it is a control thing. You can't fix someone else's pain and do you find it difficult because you feel useless?

#22 PoshMosh

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:57 PM

QUOTE (asha9 @ 28/11/2012, 10:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
upon arriving at the emergency room a a girl about my age walked in holding on to her partner (I assume) very obviously in labour, crying ect & after she had walked past I found myself rolling my eyes at her & feeling mad!!


So you were feeling mad (your words) at a woman obviously in labour and distressed because she was crying.

You don't know what she was going through. Maybe she was having a MC or a premmie or was just terrified of giving birth as most first time mothers are. Maybe she was in a car accident and was worried for her unborn child.

Why would you roll your eyes and feel mad at a woman in pain? Is it so weak and undesirable to show emotion in a public place as such as a hospital?

#23 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:07 PM

QUOTE (asha9 @ 28/11/2012, 10:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It is really strange! I wonder if I'm a little bit jealous I can't wait to have another baby? I was definitely excited for her, I wanted to run back to her & say UR DOING GREAT & IT'S GOING TO BE SOOOO WORTH IT VERY SOON IT'S THE BEST THING EVEEEERR, but DS was crying & I was stressed out! I have always been a little bit awkward around other showing pain? Lol trust me I know VERY WELL how excruciating it can be, I don't know if I cried but I would say I was quite obviously distressed by the time I got to the hospital so I am definitely not judging. I just don't know why I felt that way?


I wasn't mad at her for crying, I'd probably cry too, I don't know y I felt mad, maybe it was at myself, so don't u judge. I never said I knew what was going on in her situation. I didn't mean to roll my eyes I don't know why it happened, as mentioned in my other posts this is EXACTLY how I would expect her to behave & I imagine I was much the same. I never said it was weak. Stop putting word in my mouth

#24 BadgerBasher

Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:16 PM

I become very nervous and on edge. Labour was hell on earth, and I'm still working through it.

#25 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:18 PM

Maybe she was crying because contractions hurt and labour can be scary too. Maybe it was something completely different - she might have been in pain for some other reason.



Reply to this topic



  


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Mums reveal their nappy bag essentials

Ever wondered what other mums carry in their nappy bags? We have, so we asked mums to tell us their must-have nappy bag items.

Toddler died because he wasn't given antibiotics soon enough

A 15-month-old boy would almost certainly be alive today if doctors had given him antibiotics sooner, a coroner has ruled.

VIDEO: moment a toddler falls on to train tracks in Melbourne

Shocking footage has emerged capturing the moment a pram carrying a toddler rolled off a platform and onto train tracks in suburban Melbourne.

Sold on natural birth? Read the fine print

In the excitement and anticipation of a first pregnancy, I ignored the fine print: some women, some of the time.

Child with alcoholic mum who drank while pregnant won't win pay-out

A young child is not entitled to criminal injuries compensation after her mother drank excessively while pregnant.

Superbugs killing India's babies, posing wider threat

A deadly epidemic that could have global implications is quietly sweeping India, tens of thousands of newborns dying because antibiotics no longer work.

Can you teach a toddler to sleep in?

Parents share their tips on getting their early risers to sleep in, even for just a little bit longer.

Keeping your relationship on track as new parents

About 70 per cent of couples experience a slump in their relationship within three years of having a baby. Here's how we tried to get back on track.

America's favourite baby names of 2014

Americans are turning to television, Netflix and sports for ideas for what to name their wee ones.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.