Jump to content

Reaction to people in labour?


34 replies to this topic

#1 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:27 PM

What is wrong with me lol? I just picked up my partner from hospital (had a little work accident) & upon arriving at the emergency room a a girl about my age walked in holding on to her partner (I assume) very obviously in labour, crying ect & after she had walked past I found myself rolling my eyes at her & feeling mad!! I also had quite a similar reaction to watching one born every minute. Does anyone else have that reaction? Or any ideas why I might? I'm a little disturbed at myself to be honest lol?

#2 bakesgirls

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:29 PM

I usually feel a little excited for them, and sorry for them too when I think about how painful it can be.

#3 bluedragon

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:31 PM

Mad at what exactly? That she was making noise? In obvious distress?

Sounds weird to me.

What were you like in labour? Did you have the same reaction to yourself  wink.gif

#4 CherrySunday

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:32 PM

I feel a bit jealous sometimes... I love giving birth!

#5 Chelli

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:32 PM

I would have nothing but empathy. There may be a physical reason why she's crying, for some it's excruciating pain. There may be another reason why she's crying - perhaps she has lost a child previously and is terrified. Either way, I really don't think it's anyone's place to judge.

#6 imamumto3

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:34 PM

maybe you handled labour differently or have a higher pain threshold.

I think some of he women on one born every minute are hilarious and over the top.  but I had quick, relatively painless, very easy births so I don't really know what it's like to have a hard labour.

#7 ubermum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:35 PM

I feel a bit excited, a tad jealous and a little sad because I won't ever get to do that again.

#8 Wyn99

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:36 PM

I'd feel sympathy, understanding that what she is about to go through hurts alot. Why did you roll your eyes? I'd say your reaction may reflect your labour experience, sorry.

#9 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:39 PM

It is really strange! I wonder if I'm a little bit jealous I can't wait to have another baby? I was definitely excited for her, I wanted to run back to her & say UR DOING GREAT & IT'S GOING TO BE SOOOO WORTH IT VERY SOON IT'S THE BEST THING EVEEEERR, but DS was crying & I was stressed out! I have always been a little bit awkward around other showing pain? Lol trust me I know VERY WELL how excruciating it can be, I don't know if I cried but I would say I was quite obviously distressed by the time I got to the hospital so I am definitely not judging. I just don't know why I felt that way?

#10 -river-

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:45 PM

I would feel relief that its not me having to do that again, ever. I'd also feel excited for her cause babies are awesome.

#11 StopTheGoats

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:46 PM

I also don't respond well when anyone has an episode of extreme emotion. I have a slower processing speed I think than other people. Put me in a physical emergency and I'm your gal, but extremely emotional moments like death or separation I'll help you organise anything and listen to you cry but I'll probably do so in a similar manner to a shag on a rock (not the good kind!).

I watch one born every minute with a feeling of distaste at the drama of it all. Of course I get teary when the babies are born and afraid when things go wrong and I do feel a sense of empathy once the episode is over but watching all that extremity makes me uncomfortable.

I can totally understand free birthers. My idea of hell is other people watching me out of control.



#12 HurryUpAlready

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:48 PM

QUOTE (*Browncoat* @ 28/11/2012, 07:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I feel a bit jealous sometimes... I love giving birth!



Me too!!!!!!


#13 HurryUpAlready

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:50 PM

QUOTE (JuniorSpies @ 28/11/2012, 07:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can totally understand free birthers. My idea of hell is other people watching me out of control.


At no point during the birth of my DD did I feel out of control.


#14 B.feral3

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:52 PM

My toes curl.

When my son was transferred from a major hospital NICU to our local hospital, the small, 6 bed SCN was directly next door to the labour ward and the walls were thin. It was terrible. On some occasions I had to leave the room it was so horrendous.

#15 ekbaby

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:53 PM

2 thoughts-

- did anyone respond to you when you were in labour with a less than compassionate attitude? Did you feel like hospital staff, or your partner, dismissed your pain, told you to "harden up", that these were only practice contractions and you shouldn't be complaining etc? Perhaps if you didn't feel listened to or supported, you are now reacting in that way to another person?
- maybe you are jealous and wish you were having another baby?

#16 Lilymoon

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:59 PM

Seriously how can anyone say labour isn't painful! Wow!

My reaction would be to get away from her, I don't like thinking about labour for me it was painful.

#17 WinterIsComing

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:05 PM

QUOTE (HurryUpAlready @ 28/11/2012, 09:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
At no point during the birth of my DD did I feel out of control.


Good for you, you win a medal.
I did, the pain completely overwhelmed me.

OP, I would say it is some unresolved issues. I remember watching a birth video when I was a young woman and feeling very angry. I now know is that I just wasn't comfortable with my femininity.


#18 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:15 PM

Wow ekbaby u r spot on! When I had my son when I got to the hospital the midwife on duty told me that because it was my first baby  & I hadn't been in labour very long it seemed I was experiencing false labour so she put me in the post natal ward & requested I stay in bed to rest. I did as I was told (dummy). Several times she came & asked me to keep it down because women & there babies were trying to rest, she said stop breathing like that u need to calm urself down. Try & get some sleep. When I finally walked myself to the delivery room where MY midwife had just arrived & was examined & was found to be 10cms dilated. Yay!!! I feel like I would have coped a lot better if that twit didn't keep telling me I wasn't in labour but learned to listen to my own body better. I can't wait to give birth again, & I'm hoping next time I can be in a better frame of mind (I know it will still hurt ect but I hope to be calmer) & of course I get so jealous because I can't wait to have another little squishy biggrin.gif

#19 Queen Bey

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:31 PM

Judging a woman in labour because she is crying, what will EB think of next?  How dare people cry at their loved ones funerals maybe?

#20 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:36 PM

Flylikeabutterfly where did I say I was judging her? I COMPLETELY understand crying in labour I'm not an idiot. I was not judging her in anyway. Maybe u might want to hop down from ur high horse & read the rest f the posts? If anybody is judging here it's definitely u.

#21 Mummy Em

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:39 PM

QUOTE (asha9 @ 28/11/2012, 07:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It is really strange! I wonder if I'm a little bit jealous I can't wait to have another baby? I was definitely excited for her, I wanted to run back to her & say UR DOING GREAT & IT'S GOING TO BE SOOOO WORTH IT VERY SOON IT'S THE BEST THING EVEEEERR, but DS was crying & I was stressed out! I have always been a little bit awkward around other showing pain? Lol trust me I know VERY WELL how excruciating it can be, I don't know if I cried but I would say I was quite obviously distressed by the time I got to the hospital so I am definitely not judging. I just don't know why I felt that way?

How do your family of origin deal with people in pain? Did you get told to be a big girl, it didn't hurt that much etc a lot as a kid?

My other thought is perhaps it is a control thing. You can't fix someone else's pain and do you find it difficult because you feel useless?

#22 Queen Bey

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:57 PM

QUOTE (asha9 @ 28/11/2012, 10:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
upon arriving at the emergency room a a girl about my age walked in holding on to her partner (I assume) very obviously in labour, crying ect & after she had walked past I found myself rolling my eyes at her & feeling mad!!


So you were feeling mad (your words) at a woman obviously in labour and distressed because she was crying.

You don't know what she was going through. Maybe she was having a MC or a premmie or was just terrified of giving birth as most first time mothers are. Maybe she was in a car accident and was worried for her unborn child.

Why would you roll your eyes and feel mad at a woman in pain? Is it so weak and undesirable to show emotion in a public place as such as a hospital?

#23 mysonsmum

Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:07 PM

QUOTE (asha9 @ 28/11/2012, 10:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It is really strange! I wonder if I'm a little bit jealous I can't wait to have another baby? I was definitely excited for her, I wanted to run back to her & say UR DOING GREAT & IT'S GOING TO BE SOOOO WORTH IT VERY SOON IT'S THE BEST THING EVEEEERR, but DS was crying & I was stressed out! I have always been a little bit awkward around other showing pain? Lol trust me I know VERY WELL how excruciating it can be, I don't know if I cried but I would say I was quite obviously distressed by the time I got to the hospital so I am definitely not judging. I just don't know why I felt that way?


I wasn't mad at her for crying, I'd probably cry too, I don't know y I felt mad, maybe it was at myself, so don't u judge. I never said I knew what was going on in her situation. I didn't mean to roll my eyes I don't know why it happened, as mentioned in my other posts this is EXACTLY how I would expect her to behave & I imagine I was much the same. I never said it was weak. Stop putting word in my mouth

#24 BadgerBasher

Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:16 PM

I become very nervous and on edge. Labour was hell on earth, and I'm still working through it.

#25 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 28 November 2012 - 11:18 PM

Maybe she was crying because contractions hurt and labour can be scary too. Maybe it was something completely different - she might have been in pain for some other reason.



Reply to this topic



  


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

eBay jacket may hold clue to murdered girl's identity

A jacket similar to the one found with the remains of a brutally murdered little girl in South Australia has been identified on eBay.

New mum forced back to work early due to paid parental leave 'technicality'

Shelley Parker had to keep driving buses until the date her baby was due and will have to rush back to work at the end of this week after being denied paid parental leave on a "technicality".

Pregnant Amanda Palmer poses naked for book drive

It has to be the most original way ever of promoting a children's book donation day.

The conception dilemma facing many parents today

Some parents who conceived through a sperm donor will be wary of telling the child, while others prefer to deal with it early on. But recent research suggests it makes little difference either way.

The wedding photo the bridesmaid would rather forget

We've probably all seen a passed-out bridesmaid at one wedding or another, but it usually happens towards the end of the night.

Pregnant TV meteorologist takes on haters

Pregnant TV meteorologist Katie Fehlinger has hit back at haters who called her a "sausage in casing".

Honest words from first-time mums

I didn't want to say anything negative to my pregnant friend, but I wish I'd been more honest.

Adorable baby experiences rain for the first time, couldn't be happier

Harper had seen rain from the comfort of indoors before, but had never had the pleasure of being outside and experiencing it first hand.

What it's really like to start a family in your fifties

Many people suppose that it must be much more tiring to have a baby in middle age, but all the mothers in the playground look exhausted, whatever their age.

'Biggest hypocrite ever': Josh Duggar admits to Ashley Madison account

An American reality TV star has been busted with a cheating website account, according to US media.

Long recovery ahead for girl hit by car weeks after baby brother's death

A little girl is more alert and starting to talk after being hit by a car a week ago, but still faces a long recovery.

How to react when a toddler lies

Q: My almost-3-year-old is starting to figure out that he can lie when asked if he ripped the book, threw the food, hit his brother, etc. Totally normal, I know. How do we respond?

The circular experience of a Centrelink client

A mum-to-be experiences the frustration of dealing with Centrelink, myGov and everything in between.

Kelly Clarkson announces live on stage: 'I'm pregnant!'

Singer Kelly Clarkson has announced she is pregnant with her second child during a concert in Los Angeles.

Hack

How to search the leaked Ashley Madison data

At least three sites are republishing Ashley Madison's user data on the public-facing internet.

Mum dances her way through labour

There are a fair few ways to distract yourself and beat pains while in labour, but it's probably a rare woman who chooses her dance her way through it.

'Rest in peace, my little lion': premmie baby Jacob passes away

Baby Jacob, whose photo of him born at just 27 weeks was deemed 'too graphic' for a fundraising site, has died.

Mum killed three young sons 'to help her daughter', prosecutor says

Niall Pilkington's death last summer apparently raised little alarm in Bellefontaine, Ohio. Tragic accidents happen, after all.

Shorter women have shorter pregnancies: study

When a group of researchers studied nearly 3500 mothers and their babies, they noticed a curious pattern.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The worst 20 minutes of my life

Thirty seconds was all it took to turn a shopping trip into my worst nightmare.

Top baby names for England and Wales in 2014

George has overtaken William in the official rankings of most popular British baby names - and Game of Thrones is still having an impact on parents.

Baseball or baby? Dad's tough choice

What's more important, a baby or a baseball? That's a question this dad seems to struggle with.

Childbirth choices: five star or free?

It's not often you hear the words labour and luxury in the same sentence but for some, a 5-star start to parenthood is exactly what they seek. And with a number of private hospitals now offering packages which include a post-birth stay at a sumptuous first class resort, many mums are choosing to recover in style.

'Where did your boobies go, Mummy?' and other soul-destroying comments from kids

Most women carry a smidge of baby weight after giving birth. If you're lucky enough to have an older child in the house, they can keep you on track with your weight loss goals.

Do you read me, baby?

Is it too soon to be reading to my two-month-old son? If not, what should I read?

Minimising sibling rivalry when you've got a baby

Sibling rivalry is an act of competition, but if your children feel involved and special, this type of jealousy will be minimised.

Will studying on maternity leave take you away from your most important job?

I remember when I was trying to decide if I could combine motherhood and furthering my university education.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

Preschooler hit by car shortly after baby brother's death

A mother has had a frantic race to the hospital after her daughter was hit by a car, just four weeks after her infant son died.

Gay couple and Thai surrogate in custody tug-of-war

A six-month-old baby girl is trapped in the Thai capital in a bitter custody wrangle between her Thai surrogate mother and her biological father.

Couple denied IVF over parenting concerns

A mother of six has been denied access to IVF treatment in order to have another child over concerns about her parenting skills.

The book that promises to put your children to sleep

Exhausted parents from around the world are singing the praises of a "miracle" book which promises to put even the most restless child to sleep in just minutes.

5 things every parent who feels guilty needs to know

Parenthood can make you feel bad, but you're not alone.

Royals criticise 'dangerous' attempts to photograph Prince George

The British royal family criticized paparazzi on Friday for what it called their increasingly dangerous attempts to photograph young Prince George.

'No jab, no play' rule to cover Victorian kindergartens and childcare centres

"Anti-vaxxers" face not being able to send their children to childcare centres or kindergarten if they refuse to have them immunised.

15,000 birthing kits on their way to developing countries

Giving birth in a hospital surrounded by medical experts is tough enough, but some women deliver babies without a clean sheet to lie on.

Photo of premmie 'too graphic', fundraising site says

When their son Jacob was born at just 27 weeks, Christina and Jeff Hinks were thrown into an uncertain world.

The latest Bugaboo collections: cool chevron and runner prams

Bugaboo sure likes to keep things fresh, and with the Australian spring/summer season coming up, there are two new Bugaboo pram releases.

Making room for two in the bed

Mum's room or their own room? Cot or bassinets? Deciding where twins will sleep can be tricky.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Sydney!

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.