Jump to content

A strange question about friendships - or girl crushes?!


  • Please log in to reply
23 replies to this topic

#1 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:42 PM

Just after people's general opinions here please.

I've recently become very good friends which a woman i've known through the hobby i do. I've known of her for the past 5 or so years and we have always been friendly, however it wasnt until recently that we've grown closer.

My concern is i dont have an awful lot of friends and i dont want to scare her off. I think she's wonderful and truely enjoy spending every minute we have together. She has no kids and adores mine, to the point she has commented she'd happily be their guardian should something happen to DH and I (also she knows we have limited family.)

We live 5 mins from each other and see each almost everyday. We talk frequently on FB, or sms's. Its not always me instigating a conversation however. We call into each others places often etc etc.

How do i keep the friendship going and not annoy her, scare her off? She is a wonderful person and id be very upset should we not be friends. She is generous and kind and i want to show her i appreciate her friendship - any tips?

#2 Crinkle cut

Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:52 PM

Honestly it sounds like every thing is bubbling away just fine - enjoy.

I am very jealous, I'd love to have that sort of friendship.

#3 Missy Shelby

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:00 PM

Sounds as though everything is perfect as it is OP.

As the saying goes, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

#4 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:08 PM

QUOTE
I am very jealous, I'd love to have that sort of friendship.


I dont think ive ever actually had such a great friend before hence why i dont want to screw it up!  xmas_cool.gif

#5 RCTP

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:14 PM

Relax Missjoads1234 as it all sounds fine.

I understand how valuable friendships like this are but it sounds like the level of friendship is mutual so I don't think you are in danger of scaring her off.

#6 Chaos in stereo

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:14 PM

Sounds like everything is fine - do you feel like you have scared people off before? I can't see anything in your post to worry about. You are indeed lucky to have a good friend - sometimes it's hard to find people you can really talk to.

PS: your babies are gorgeous!

#7 Soontobegran

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:17 PM

If it feels right then go for it Jodie. I can't see any reason you'd scare her off, you are a very likeable person you know original.gif x

#8 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:18 PM

QUOTE
do you feel like you have scared people off before?


Not not really per say however i do love company and as my hubby is away for 10+ hours a day i get quite lonely so love company! I just dont want to annoy her i guess.

QUOTE
PS: your babies are gorgeous!


Thank you  blush.gif

QUOTE
I can't see any reason you'd scare her off, you are a very likeable person you know x


Oh bless ya STBG i never see enough of you  wub.gif

Edited by missjoads1234, 28 November 2012 - 07:20 PM.


#9 Soontobegran

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:34 PM

QUOTE (missjoads1234 @ 28/11/2012, 08:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh bless ya STBG i never see enough of you  wub.gif


We'll have to organise a pre Christmas meet up with A and kiddies. original.gif

#10 FeralRebelWClaws

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:39 PM

Sounds like a great friendship OP original.gif

I think unless there *is* an issue then don't change anything, otherwise she might worry that SHE has done something original.gif

#11 Feral Becky

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:42 PM

You know, I think I need to get a grip because if this lady had no other friends apart from me I would be wondering about an ulterior motive. Not sure what though mellow.gif

Just enjoy it Miss Joads, and don't pay attention to the glass half empty people like me biggrin.gif

Also quite envious. I don't have a close female friend like that, though I have lots of 'friends'

#12 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:42 PM

QUOTE
We talk frequently on FB, or sms's. Its not always me instigating a conversation however. We call into each others places often etc etc.


Go with this - it sounds mutual.

Don't stress. wink.gif   )  

Feel confident in yourself.  (You do sound maybe a little insecure?)  There is no reason why she shouldn't love you as much as you love her.  And you have the benefit of gorgeous children too.

Enjoy.  Many of us are jealous and would love a friend like that.  I've had a couple over the years, but circumstance has tended to mean that they or I have moved away.  It is harder long-distance.....

I'm jealous!

#13 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:47 PM

STBG - definatley without doubt!

Ruffles - Yes i can be. Im unsure how to act at times and feel awkward. I also dont want her to feel obligated to help with the kids as they are always with me whenever i see her. Any tips?

#14 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:57 PM

Miss Joads you a such a lovely person, it sounds like the friendship is developing nicely. How could anyone not like you? I wish we were closer and not on the other side of the country.

Edited by Sunnycat, 28 November 2012 - 09:58 PM.


#15 Sancti-mummy

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:22 PM

The only thing I would suggest is to make a deal if either of you is p*ssing the other one off to talk about it before it becomes an issue (from past experience)

Enjoy - nice to have a new friend.

#16 milkwood

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:31 PM

What is the girl crush?  Is she single?  All sounds brilliant so far, and just thinking about the other person makes problems less likely.

#17 missjoads1234

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:41 AM

QUOTE
Miss Joads you a such a lovely person, it sounds like the friendship is developing nicely. How could anyone not like you? I wish we were closer and not on the other side of the country.


Aww SC you're too kind  hheart.gif

QUOTE
What is the girl crush? Is she single? All sounds brilliant so far, and just thinking about the other person makes problems less likely.


No she's married. Half of me wondered if i have a teeny bit of a girl crush as i think she's so wonderful and could happily spend all day every day with her  blush.gif

#18 JustBeige

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:54 AM

QUOTE (missjoads1234 @ 28/11/2012, 08:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
STBG - definatley without doubt!

Ruffles - Yes i can be. Im unsure how to act at times and feel awkward. I also dont want her to feel obligated to help with the kids as they are always with me whenever i see her. Any tips?

Be honest.

My BFF and I have been through so many life trials over the years that up front we agreed to a couple of stipulations - lol, it was like getting married. 1) we wouldnt let our kids drag us into an arguement.  We had both lost friendships because of perceived slights our kids had done.  2) we would always be honest but blunt (neither of us are good with 'hints') if our friendship was changing or we felt differently.    9 years later it still works, even if we dont see each other as much.

so that would be my tip.  just be honest with her.  

and, of course, just keep going and enjoy your friendship original.gif



Edited by JustBeige, 29 November 2012 - 05:56 AM.


#19 No girls here

Posted 29 November 2012 - 06:06 AM

I don't think there's a problem.  If you are both contacting each other, it sounds fine.  If you start realising you're the only one initiating contact, it's time to pull back.

#20 Rachaelxxx

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:25 AM

I think it sounds like you guys are going along beautifully.  I've had relationships with girlfriends that started off very full on and I at times wondered if we were spending too much time together too soon and we are still the best of friends.  Some people you just click with, some relationships fizzle out, but I say go for it and enjoy your friendship.

#21 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:42 AM

QUOTE (suziej @ 28/11/2012, 10:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The only thing I would suggest is to make a deal if either of you is p*ssing the other one off to talk about it before it becomes an issue (from past experience)

agree with this.

QUOTE (Rachaelxxx @ 29/11/2012, 07:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think it sounds like you guys are going along beautifully.  I've had relationships with girlfriends that started off very full on and I at times wondered if we were spending too much time together too soon and we are still the best of friends. Some people you just click with, some relationships fizzle out, but I say go for it and enjoy your friendship.

Same experience.  Some people you meet and there is a instant connection.  If you are lucky, it lasts a lifetime.

Enjoy it MissJoads.  Everyone deserves good friends and most people don't have enough.

#22 Rainbow*Seeking

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:00 AM

Sounds like you have a wonder friendship original.gif

I have always wanted to have that kind of friendship with a friend because I'm an only child and would love to have a sister.

#23 Rose Tea

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:37 AM

As long as you don't start using her as a baby sitter all is fine lol.

#24 Lagom

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:45 AM

I have a friend like that.  We see each other nearly every day and have even been on holidays together without our husbands.  So long as it's not a stalker situation where it is only you doing the contacting I don't see a problem with it.  You seem like a lovely person to me Miss Joads.  happy.gif  Enjoy your new friendship.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

11 things that will happen when you're breastfeeding

After having three children and various degrees of success feeding them all, there's one thing I can tell you: virtually nothing will go as planned.

Surgery for baby born with a tail

A baby born with a tail has had it removed after doctors feared the birth defect might cause long term damage to his lower body.

When 'skin to skin' becomes a family affair

An adorable photo of a little boy and his dad enjoying skin to skin contact with newborn twins is melting hearts everywhere.

35 hilariously weird 'top tips'

Who would have thunk it? We never knew there were so many uses for feminine hygiene products. 

Pregnancy skin woes: acne, dry skin, itchy skin

Here are some of the most common skin complaints in pregnancy and how to tackle them, face on.

Watch this fun dance class for babywearing dads

Is there anything sexier than a babywearing dad?

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

When your kids have totally different temperaments

Sometimes it has felt like whiplash parenting. She perches watchfully while I vacuum; he tries to climb on and go for a ride.

How do our stress levels influence our baby?

Since having my second baby a number of people have commented on how placid, content and settled he is and, similarly, many have commented on how this is a reflection of how I am with him.

Separation anxiety isn't just for kids

Despite its prevalence, most doctors tend to be reluctant to diagnose adult patients with separation anxiety.

A charm bracelet, a boy, and my beliefs questioned

I was staring at the face of my son, realising that my once steadfast decision to be open minded was quickly unravelling at the seams.

Why I'm so grateful for Hayden Panettiere's PND honesty

There are baby steps and giant leaps forward. But there are steps backwards, too. And, oh, how they can hurt your heart.

The heartbreaking story of little Moko

The mother of 3-year-old Moko Rangitoheriri said she should have picked up on the signs. {Warning: distressing content}

Kate Beckinsale and teen daughter recreate birth photo

Kate Beckinsale has recreated her daughter Lily's birth photo, 17 years after she was born.

The adult-size stroller you'll want to test drive

It's one of the biggest baby related purchases they will make, so it makes sense that parents-to-be get a chance to road test a stroller.

Pregnancy announcement shows the reality of IVF

It's a long way from baby booties or bump shots people have become accustomed to in social media pregnancy announcements.  

Soleil Moon Frye welcomes fourth baby

"Punky Brewster" is a mom again, for the fourth time. Soleil Moon Frye announced the birth of her baby boy, Story, on Instagram Wednesday.

Mum breastfeeds baby found abandoned on the street

A woman has been praised as a "beautiful mother" after breastfeeding a baby which had been abandoned at the side of a street. 

A birth with a difference: the 'natural caesarean'

We've shared stories of gentle caesareans before, but a new video shows a new option called a 'natural caesarean'.

Baby name inspiration by music genre

If you're all about the music, then you'll need a musical name for that baby. We've got all the lists for you by music genre.

Giving effective instructions to toddlers

One of the most common errors made by parents is in how they give instructions to their children.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

Vintage Toys

The toys of your childhood

Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.