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A strange question about friendships - or girl crushes?!


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22 replies to this topic

#1 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:42 PM

Just after people's general opinions here please.

I've recently become very good friends which a woman i've known through the hobby i do. I've known of her for the past 5 or so years and we have always been friendly, however it wasnt until recently that we've grown closer.

My concern is i dont have an awful lot of friends and i dont want to scare her off. I think she's wonderful and truely enjoy spending every minute we have together. She has no kids and adores mine, to the point she has commented she'd happily be their guardian should something happen to DH and I (also she knows we have limited family.)

We live 5 mins from each other and see each almost everyday. We talk frequently on FB, or sms's. Its not always me instigating a conversation however. We call into each others places often etc etc.

How do i keep the friendship going and not annoy her, scare her off? She is a wonderful person and id be very upset should we not be friends. She is generous and kind and i want to show her i appreciate her friendship - any tips?

#2 Missy Shelby

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:00 PM

Sounds as though everything is perfect as it is OP.

As the saying goes, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

#3 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:08 PM

QUOTE
I am very jealous, I'd love to have that sort of friendship.


I dont think ive ever actually had such a great friend before hence why i dont want to screw it up!  xmas_cool.gif

#4 RCTP

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:14 PM

Relax Missjoads1234 as it all sounds fine.

I understand how valuable friendships like this are but it sounds like the level of friendship is mutual so I don't think you are in danger of scaring her off.

#5 Chaos in stereo

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:14 PM

Sounds like everything is fine - do you feel like you have scared people off before? I can't see anything in your post to worry about. You are indeed lucky to have a good friend - sometimes it's hard to find people you can really talk to.

PS: your babies are gorgeous!

#6 Soontobegran

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:17 PM

If it feels right then go for it Jodie. I can't see any reason you'd scare her off, you are a very likeable person you know original.gif x

#7 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:18 PM

QUOTE
do you feel like you have scared people off before?


Not not really per say however i do love company and as my hubby is away for 10+ hours a day i get quite lonely so love company! I just dont want to annoy her i guess.

QUOTE
PS: your babies are gorgeous!


Thank you  blush.gif

QUOTE
I can't see any reason you'd scare her off, you are a very likeable person you know x


Oh bless ya STBG i never see enough of you  wub.gif

Edited by missjoads1234, 28 November 2012 - 07:20 PM.


#8 Soontobegran

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:34 PM

QUOTE (missjoads1234 @ 28/11/2012, 08:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh bless ya STBG i never see enough of you  wub.gif


We'll have to organise a pre Christmas meet up with A and kiddies. original.gif

#9 FeralRebelWClaws

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:39 PM

Sounds like a great friendship OP original.gif

I think unless there *is* an issue then don't change anything, otherwise she might worry that SHE has done something original.gif

#10 Feral Becky

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:42 PM

You know, I think I need to get a grip because if this lady had no other friends apart from me I would be wondering about an ulterior motive. Not sure what though mellow.gif

Just enjoy it Miss Joads, and don't pay attention to the glass half empty people like me biggrin.gif

Also quite envious. I don't have a close female friend like that, though I have lots of 'friends'

#11 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:42 PM

QUOTE
We talk frequently on FB, or sms's. Its not always me instigating a conversation however. We call into each others places often etc etc.


Go with this - it sounds mutual.

Don't stress. wink.gif   )  

Feel confident in yourself.  (You do sound maybe a little insecure?)  There is no reason why she shouldn't love you as much as you love her.  And you have the benefit of gorgeous children too.

Enjoy.  Many of us are jealous and would love a friend like that.  I've had a couple over the years, but circumstance has tended to mean that they or I have moved away.  It is harder long-distance.....

I'm jealous!

#12 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:47 PM

STBG - definatley without doubt!

Ruffles - Yes i can be. Im unsure how to act at times and feel awkward. I also dont want her to feel obligated to help with the kids as they are always with me whenever i see her. Any tips?

#13 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:57 PM

Miss Joads you a such a lovely person, it sounds like the friendship is developing nicely. How could anyone not like you? I wish we were closer and not on the other side of the country.

Edited by Sunnycat, 28 November 2012 - 09:58 PM.


#14 Sancti-mummy

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:22 PM

The only thing I would suggest is to make a deal if either of you is p*ssing the other one off to talk about it before it becomes an issue (from past experience)

Enjoy - nice to have a new friend.

#15 milkwood

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:31 PM

What is the girl crush?  Is she single?  All sounds brilliant so far, and just thinking about the other person makes problems less likely.

#16 missjoads1234

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:41 AM

QUOTE
Miss Joads you a such a lovely person, it sounds like the friendship is developing nicely. How could anyone not like you? I wish we were closer and not on the other side of the country.


Aww SC you're too kind  hheart.gif

QUOTE
What is the girl crush? Is she single? All sounds brilliant so far, and just thinking about the other person makes problems less likely.


No she's married. Half of me wondered if i have a teeny bit of a girl crush as i think she's so wonderful and could happily spend all day every day with her  blush.gif

#17 JustBeige

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:54 AM

QUOTE (missjoads1234 @ 28/11/2012, 08:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
STBG - definatley without doubt!

Ruffles - Yes i can be. Im unsure how to act at times and feel awkward. I also dont want her to feel obligated to help with the kids as they are always with me whenever i see her. Any tips?

Be honest.

My BFF and I have been through so many life trials over the years that up front we agreed to a couple of stipulations - lol, it was like getting married. 1) we wouldnt let our kids drag us into an arguement.  We had both lost friendships because of perceived slights our kids had done.  2) we would always be honest but blunt (neither of us are good with 'hints') if our friendship was changing or we felt differently.    9 years later it still works, even if we dont see each other as much.

so that would be my tip.  just be honest with her.  

and, of course, just keep going and enjoy your friendship original.gif



Edited by JustBeige, 29 November 2012 - 05:56 AM.


#18 No girls here

Posted 29 November 2012 - 06:06 AM

I don't think there's a problem.  If you are both contacting each other, it sounds fine.  If you start realising you're the only one initiating contact, it's time to pull back.

#19 Rachaelxxx

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:25 AM

I think it sounds like you guys are going along beautifully.  I've had relationships with girlfriends that started off very full on and I at times wondered if we were spending too much time together too soon and we are still the best of friends.  Some people you just click with, some relationships fizzle out, but I say go for it and enjoy your friendship.

#20 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:42 AM

QUOTE (suziej @ 28/11/2012, 10:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The only thing I would suggest is to make a deal if either of you is p*ssing the other one off to talk about it before it becomes an issue (from past experience)

agree with this.

QUOTE (Rachaelxxx @ 29/11/2012, 07:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think it sounds like you guys are going along beautifully.  I've had relationships with girlfriends that started off very full on and I at times wondered if we were spending too much time together too soon and we are still the best of friends. Some people you just click with, some relationships fizzle out, but I say go for it and enjoy your friendship.

Same experience.  Some people you meet and there is a instant connection.  If you are lucky, it lasts a lifetime.

Enjoy it MissJoads.  Everyone deserves good friends and most people don't have enough.

#21 Rainbow*Seeking

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:00 AM

Sounds like you have a wonder friendship original.gif

I have always wanted to have that kind of friendship with a friend because I'm an only child and would love to have a sister.

#22 Rose Tea

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:37 AM

As long as you don't start using her as a baby sitter all is fine lol.

#23 Lagom

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:45 AM

I have a friend like that.  We see each other nearly every day and have even been on holidays together without our husbands.  So long as it's not a stalker situation where it is only you doing the contacting I don't see a problem with it.  You seem like a lovely person to me Miss Joads.  happy.gif  Enjoy your new friendship.




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