Jump to content

A strange question about friendships - or girl crushes?!


  • Please log in to reply
23 replies to this topic

#1 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:42 PM

Just after people's general opinions here please.

I've recently become very good friends which a woman i've known through the hobby i do. I've known of her for the past 5 or so years and we have always been friendly, however it wasnt until recently that we've grown closer.

My concern is i dont have an awful lot of friends and i dont want to scare her off. I think she's wonderful and truely enjoy spending every minute we have together. She has no kids and adores mine, to the point she has commented she'd happily be their guardian should something happen to DH and I (also she knows we have limited family.)

We live 5 mins from each other and see each almost everyday. We talk frequently on FB, or sms's. Its not always me instigating a conversation however. We call into each others places often etc etc.

How do i keep the friendship going and not annoy her, scare her off? She is a wonderful person and id be very upset should we not be friends. She is generous and kind and i want to show her i appreciate her friendship - any tips?

#2 Futhermore

Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:52 PM

Honestly it sounds like every thing is bubbling away just fine - enjoy.

I am very jealous, I'd love to have that sort of friendship.

#3 Missy Shelby

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:00 PM

Sounds as though everything is perfect as it is OP.

As the saying goes, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

#4 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:08 PM

QUOTE
I am very jealous, I'd love to have that sort of friendship.


I dont think ive ever actually had such a great friend before hence why i dont want to screw it up!  xmas_cool.gif

#5 RCTP

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:14 PM

Relax Missjoads1234 as it all sounds fine.

I understand how valuable friendships like this are but it sounds like the level of friendship is mutual so I don't think you are in danger of scaring her off.

#6 Chaos in stereo

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:14 PM

Sounds like everything is fine - do you feel like you have scared people off before? I can't see anything in your post to worry about. You are indeed lucky to have a good friend - sometimes it's hard to find people you can really talk to.

PS: your babies are gorgeous!

#7 Soontobegran

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:17 PM

If it feels right then go for it Jodie. I can't see any reason you'd scare her off, you are a very likeable person you know original.gif x

#8 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:18 PM

QUOTE
do you feel like you have scared people off before?


Not not really per say however i do love company and as my hubby is away for 10+ hours a day i get quite lonely so love company! I just dont want to annoy her i guess.

QUOTE
PS: your babies are gorgeous!


Thank you  blush.gif

QUOTE
I can't see any reason you'd scare her off, you are a very likeable person you know x


Oh bless ya STBG i never see enough of you  wub.gif

Edited by missjoads1234, 28 November 2012 - 07:20 PM.


#9 Soontobegran

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:34 PM

QUOTE (missjoads1234 @ 28/11/2012, 08:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh bless ya STBG i never see enough of you  wub.gif


We'll have to organise a pre Christmas meet up with A and kiddies. original.gif

#10 FeralRebelWClaws

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:39 PM

Sounds like a great friendship OP original.gif

I think unless there *is* an issue then don't change anything, otherwise she might worry that SHE has done something original.gif

#11 Feral Becky

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:42 PM

You know, I think I need to get a grip because if this lady had no other friends apart from me I would be wondering about an ulterior motive. Not sure what though mellow.gif

Just enjoy it Miss Joads, and don't pay attention to the glass half empty people like me biggrin.gif

Also quite envious. I don't have a close female friend like that, though I have lots of 'friends'

#12 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:42 PM

QUOTE
We talk frequently on FB, or sms's. Its not always me instigating a conversation however. We call into each others places often etc etc.


Go with this - it sounds mutual.

Don't stress. wink.gif   )  

Feel confident in yourself.  (You do sound maybe a little insecure?)  There is no reason why she shouldn't love you as much as you love her.  And you have the benefit of gorgeous children too.

Enjoy.  Many of us are jealous and would love a friend like that.  I've had a couple over the years, but circumstance has tended to mean that they or I have moved away.  It is harder long-distance.....

I'm jealous!

#13 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:47 PM

STBG - definatley without doubt!

Ruffles - Yes i can be. Im unsure how to act at times and feel awkward. I also dont want her to feel obligated to help with the kids as they are always with me whenever i see her. Any tips?

#14 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:57 PM

Miss Joads you a such a lovely person, it sounds like the friendship is developing nicely. How could anyone not like you? I wish we were closer and not on the other side of the country.

Edited by Sunnycat, 28 November 2012 - 09:58 PM.


#15 DreamFeralisations

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:22 PM

The only thing I would suggest is to make a deal if either of you is p*ssing the other one off to talk about it before it becomes an issue (from past experience)

Enjoy - nice to have a new friend.

#16 milkwood

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:31 PM

What is the girl crush?  Is she single?  All sounds brilliant so far, and just thinking about the other person makes problems less likely.

#17 missjoads1234

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:41 AM

QUOTE
Miss Joads you a such a lovely person, it sounds like the friendship is developing nicely. How could anyone not like you? I wish we were closer and not on the other side of the country.


Aww SC you're too kind  hheart.gif

QUOTE
What is the girl crush? Is she single? All sounds brilliant so far, and just thinking about the other person makes problems less likely.


No she's married. Half of me wondered if i have a teeny bit of a girl crush as i think she's so wonderful and could happily spend all day every day with her  blush.gif

#18 JustBeige

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:54 AM

QUOTE (missjoads1234 @ 28/11/2012, 08:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
STBG - definatley without doubt!

Ruffles - Yes i can be. Im unsure how to act at times and feel awkward. I also dont want her to feel obligated to help with the kids as they are always with me whenever i see her. Any tips?

Be honest.

My BFF and I have been through so many life trials over the years that up front we agreed to a couple of stipulations - lol, it was like getting married. 1) we wouldnt let our kids drag us into an arguement.  We had both lost friendships because of perceived slights our kids had done.  2) we would always be honest but blunt (neither of us are good with 'hints') if our friendship was changing or we felt differently.    9 years later it still works, even if we dont see each other as much.

so that would be my tip.  just be honest with her.  

and, of course, just keep going and enjoy your friendship original.gif



Edited by JustBeige, 29 November 2012 - 05:56 AM.


#19 No girls here

Posted 29 November 2012 - 06:06 AM

I don't think there's a problem.  If you are both contacting each other, it sounds fine.  If you start realising you're the only one initiating contact, it's time to pull back.

#20 Rachaelxxx

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:25 AM

I think it sounds like you guys are going along beautifully.  I've had relationships with girlfriends that started off very full on and I at times wondered if we were spending too much time together too soon and we are still the best of friends.  Some people you just click with, some relationships fizzle out, but I say go for it and enjoy your friendship.

#21 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:42 AM

QUOTE (suziej @ 28/11/2012, 10:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The only thing I would suggest is to make a deal if either of you is p*ssing the other one off to talk about it before it becomes an issue (from past experience)

agree with this.

QUOTE (Rachaelxxx @ 29/11/2012, 07:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think it sounds like you guys are going along beautifully.  I've had relationships with girlfriends that started off very full on and I at times wondered if we were spending too much time together too soon and we are still the best of friends. Some people you just click with, some relationships fizzle out, but I say go for it and enjoy your friendship.

Same experience.  Some people you meet and there is a instant connection.  If you are lucky, it lasts a lifetime.

Enjoy it MissJoads.  Everyone deserves good friends and most people don't have enough.

#22 Rainbow*Seeking

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:00 AM

Sounds like you have a wonder friendship original.gif

I have always wanted to have that kind of friendship with a friend because I'm an only child and would love to have a sister.

#23 Rose Tea

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:37 AM

As long as you don't start using her as a baby sitter all is fine lol.

#24 amabanana

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:45 AM

I have a friend like that.  We see each other nearly every day and have even been on holidays together without our husbands.  So long as it's not a stalker situation where it is only you doing the contacting I don't see a problem with it.  You seem like a lovely person to me Miss Joads.  happy.gif  Enjoy your new friendship.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

An open letter to Tony Abbott: please salvage our super

We face financial ruin, but most of us don?t realise it. If we don?t act together to salvage our superannuation, I have no doubt the new GFC will be the Girls? Financial Crisis.

'I'm happy to know I'm changing lives': surrogate mum of two

I know that once the baby is born, I will focus on the gift I have given, and watch the parents with their new child. I can't wait for that day.

Birth trauma and the issue of informed consent

There is a perception that women should just be happy they have a healthy baby in their arms. But for women who experienced birth trauma, there's a lot more to it.

Tips for managing pollen allergies and hayfever

They're simple tips, but they can have a big impact on those who suffer from hayfever and pollen allergies.

Ada Nicodemou shares tribute to her stillborn baby

Just over one month since Ada Nicodemou and her husband lost their second son, the Home and Away star has shared a touching poem for her baby.

Mum causes stir breastfeeding on train

?To the woman breastfeeding her kid on the train. Seriously! On the train?" began the letter of complaint.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

Tales from the homefront

When you're at work you sort of assume that your house is basically just sitting there quietly doing nothing until you return. However, since spending my days at home, I've learned this couldn't be further from the truth.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

6 things I didn't expect as a parent

From weird smells to dangerous opinions, painful body parts to numbness, here are a few things new mums and dads can expect.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.