Jump to content

A strange question about friendships - or girl crushes?!


  • Please log in to reply
23 replies to this topic

#1 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:42 PM

Just after people's general opinions here please.

I've recently become very good friends which a woman i've known through the hobby i do. I've known of her for the past 5 or so years and we have always been friendly, however it wasnt until recently that we've grown closer.

My concern is i dont have an awful lot of friends and i dont want to scare her off. I think she's wonderful and truely enjoy spending every minute we have together. She has no kids and adores mine, to the point she has commented she'd happily be their guardian should something happen to DH and I (also she knows we have limited family.)

We live 5 mins from each other and see each almost everyday. We talk frequently on FB, or sms's. Its not always me instigating a conversation however. We call into each others places often etc etc.

How do i keep the friendship going and not annoy her, scare her off? She is a wonderful person and id be very upset should we not be friends. She is generous and kind and i want to show her i appreciate her friendship - any tips?

#2 Crinkle cut

Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:52 PM

Honestly it sounds like every thing is bubbling away just fine - enjoy.

I am very jealous, I'd love to have that sort of friendship.

#3 Missy Shelby

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:00 PM

Sounds as though everything is perfect as it is OP.

As the saying goes, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

#4 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:08 PM

QUOTE
I am very jealous, I'd love to have that sort of friendship.


I dont think ive ever actually had such a great friend before hence why i dont want to screw it up!  xmas_cool.gif

#5 RCTP

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:14 PM

Relax Missjoads1234 as it all sounds fine.

I understand how valuable friendships like this are but it sounds like the level of friendship is mutual so I don't think you are in danger of scaring her off.

#6 Chaos in stereo

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:14 PM

Sounds like everything is fine - do you feel like you have scared people off before? I can't see anything in your post to worry about. You are indeed lucky to have a good friend - sometimes it's hard to find people you can really talk to.

PS: your babies are gorgeous!

#7 Soontobegran

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:17 PM

If it feels right then go for it Jodie. I can't see any reason you'd scare her off, you are a very likeable person you know original.gif x

#8 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:18 PM

QUOTE
do you feel like you have scared people off before?


Not not really per say however i do love company and as my hubby is away for 10+ hours a day i get quite lonely so love company! I just dont want to annoy her i guess.

QUOTE
PS: your babies are gorgeous!


Thank you  blush.gif

QUOTE
I can't see any reason you'd scare her off, you are a very likeable person you know x


Oh bless ya STBG i never see enough of you  wub.gif

Edited by missjoads1234, 28 November 2012 - 07:20 PM.


#9 Soontobegran

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:34 PM

QUOTE (missjoads1234 @ 28/11/2012, 08:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh bless ya STBG i never see enough of you  wub.gif


We'll have to organise a pre Christmas meet up with A and kiddies. original.gif

#10 FeralRebelWClaws

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:39 PM

Sounds like a great friendship OP original.gif

I think unless there *is* an issue then don't change anything, otherwise she might worry that SHE has done something original.gif

#11 Feral Becky

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:42 PM

You know, I think I need to get a grip because if this lady had no other friends apart from me I would be wondering about an ulterior motive. Not sure what though mellow.gif

Just enjoy it Miss Joads, and don't pay attention to the glass half empty people like me biggrin.gif

Also quite envious. I don't have a close female friend like that, though I have lots of 'friends'

#12 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:42 PM

QUOTE
We talk frequently on FB, or sms's. Its not always me instigating a conversation however. We call into each others places often etc etc.


Go with this - it sounds mutual.

Don't stress. wink.gif   )  

Feel confident in yourself.  (You do sound maybe a little insecure?)  There is no reason why she shouldn't love you as much as you love her.  And you have the benefit of gorgeous children too.

Enjoy.  Many of us are jealous and would love a friend like that.  I've had a couple over the years, but circumstance has tended to mean that they or I have moved away.  It is harder long-distance.....

I'm jealous!

#13 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:47 PM

STBG - definatley without doubt!

Ruffles - Yes i can be. Im unsure how to act at times and feel awkward. I also dont want her to feel obligated to help with the kids as they are always with me whenever i see her. Any tips?

#14 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:57 PM

Miss Joads you a such a lovely person, it sounds like the friendship is developing nicely. How could anyone not like you? I wish we were closer and not on the other side of the country.

Edited by Sunnycat, 28 November 2012 - 09:58 PM.


#15 Sancti-mummy

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:22 PM

The only thing I would suggest is to make a deal if either of you is p*ssing the other one off to talk about it before it becomes an issue (from past experience)

Enjoy - nice to have a new friend.

#16 milkwood

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:31 PM

What is the girl crush?  Is she single?  All sounds brilliant so far, and just thinking about the other person makes problems less likely.

#17 missjoads1234

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:41 AM

QUOTE
Miss Joads you a such a lovely person, it sounds like the friendship is developing nicely. How could anyone not like you? I wish we were closer and not on the other side of the country.


Aww SC you're too kind  hheart.gif

QUOTE
What is the girl crush? Is she single? All sounds brilliant so far, and just thinking about the other person makes problems less likely.


No she's married. Half of me wondered if i have a teeny bit of a girl crush as i think she's so wonderful and could happily spend all day every day with her  blush.gif

#18 JustBeige

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:54 AM

QUOTE (missjoads1234 @ 28/11/2012, 08:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
STBG - definatley without doubt!

Ruffles - Yes i can be. Im unsure how to act at times and feel awkward. I also dont want her to feel obligated to help with the kids as they are always with me whenever i see her. Any tips?

Be honest.

My BFF and I have been through so many life trials over the years that up front we agreed to a couple of stipulations - lol, it was like getting married. 1) we wouldnt let our kids drag us into an arguement.  We had both lost friendships because of perceived slights our kids had done.  2) we would always be honest but blunt (neither of us are good with 'hints') if our friendship was changing or we felt differently.    9 years later it still works, even if we dont see each other as much.

so that would be my tip.  just be honest with her.  

and, of course, just keep going and enjoy your friendship original.gif



Edited by JustBeige, 29 November 2012 - 05:56 AM.


#19 No girls here

Posted 29 November 2012 - 06:06 AM

I don't think there's a problem.  If you are both contacting each other, it sounds fine.  If you start realising you're the only one initiating contact, it's time to pull back.

#20 Rachaelxxx

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:25 AM

I think it sounds like you guys are going along beautifully.  I've had relationships with girlfriends that started off very full on and I at times wondered if we were spending too much time together too soon and we are still the best of friends.  Some people you just click with, some relationships fizzle out, but I say go for it and enjoy your friendship.

#21 Queen Yoda

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:42 AM

QUOTE (suziej @ 28/11/2012, 10:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The only thing I would suggest is to make a deal if either of you is p*ssing the other one off to talk about it before it becomes an issue (from past experience)

agree with this.

QUOTE (Rachaelxxx @ 29/11/2012, 07:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think it sounds like you guys are going along beautifully.  I've had relationships with girlfriends that started off very full on and I at times wondered if we were spending too much time together too soon and we are still the best of friends. Some people you just click with, some relationships fizzle out, but I say go for it and enjoy your friendship.

Same experience.  Some people you meet and there is a instant connection.  If you are lucky, it lasts a lifetime.

Enjoy it MissJoads.  Everyone deserves good friends and most people don't have enough.

#22 Rainbow*Seeking

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:00 AM

Sounds like you have a wonder friendship original.gif

I have always wanted to have that kind of friendship with a friend because I'm an only child and would love to have a sister.

#23 Rose Tea

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:37 AM

As long as you don't start using her as a baby sitter all is fine lol.

#24 Lagom

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:45 AM

I have a friend like that.  We see each other nearly every day and have even been on holidays together without our husbands.  So long as it's not a stalker situation where it is only you doing the contacting I don't see a problem with it.  You seem like a lovely person to me Miss Joads.  happy.gif  Enjoy your new friendship.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Trying to understand why your baby is upset

Working out what?s underlying your baby's fussiness can be a case of trial and error. Here are a few common causes and how you can remedy each one.

When those you love judge your parenting

In today's society, never has it been harder to parent without judgment. But what about when judgment is coming from closer to home?

Don't play the victim blame game with family violence

It's not a woman's job to teach violent men how to behave.

11 truths about having two under two

When I told my mothers? group that my husband and I had started trying for our second baby they told me I was crazy. Now I can see why.

'How do you say goodbye to someone you've only just started to get to know?'

New mum Sarah Sutton was faced with a shattering scenario no person should have to endure.

It's a ... boy! Couple welcomes son number 13

"It's a boy!" That's the phrase Kateri Schwandt has heard in labour delivery ward for the 13th time in her life.

Six reasons to go for a walk

Can't find time to get to the gym? It could be just as beneficial to put your baby in the stroller and go for a walk.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

Toddler styling

Seven things my toddler taught me about my home

My standards at home were never that high but having a two-year-old has taught me to be cool with chaos.

Australia's top baby names of 2014

The numbers have been crunched and it's official: Australian parents are having a bit of an 'O' moment.

How to set up the perfect nursery for your baby

You'll soon be meeting your baby, but you've got one big task to get done first: setting up a comfy, calming nursery you'll both be able to enjoy.

Childcare rebate: tougher rules for stay-at-home mums

A new form of activity testing will be introduced to ensure the highest subsidies go to parents who contribute the most to the workforce.

The women who desperately need more support in pregnancy

For women suffering from chronic morning sickness or hyperemesis gravidarum, pregnancy can be the roller coaster from hell.

When labour doesn't happen and you're induced

I never actually went into labour - so by 42 weeks I was booked in for induction.

Mum's grief for triplets inspires change

The death of Sophie Smith's triplet baby boys has motivated the half-marathon mother and her team to raise $1.25 million for charity.

The best advice for treating head lice

Just like a horror movie ... THEY'RE BAAAAAACK. So what works in treating and avoiding head lice and nits?

Overdue and over it

A watched womb never labours ... or at least mine didn't.

Parenting an early walker

Watching your child take their first wobbly steps is one of the best parenting highs you'll ever experience. But with that high comes a new reality.

Baby-led weaning worked for us

My baby wasn't interested in food - until we tried something new. Now she's eating it all, and it often comes from my plate.

'Paralysed bride' becomes a mum

Rachelle Friedman Chapman was preparing to marry the man of her dreams when tragedy struck four years ago.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.