Jump to content

A strange question about friendships - or girl crushes?!


  • Please log in to reply
23 replies to this topic

#1 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:42 PM

Just after people's general opinions here please.

I've recently become very good friends which a woman i've known through the hobby i do. I've known of her for the past 5 or so years and we have always been friendly, however it wasnt until recently that we've grown closer.

My concern is i dont have an awful lot of friends and i dont want to scare her off. I think she's wonderful and truely enjoy spending every minute we have together. She has no kids and adores mine, to the point she has commented she'd happily be their guardian should something happen to DH and I (also she knows we have limited family.)

We live 5 mins from each other and see each almost everyday. We talk frequently on FB, or sms's. Its not always me instigating a conversation however. We call into each others places often etc etc.

How do i keep the friendship going and not annoy her, scare her off? She is a wonderful person and id be very upset should we not be friends. She is generous and kind and i want to show her i appreciate her friendship - any tips?

#2 Futhermore

Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:52 PM

Honestly it sounds like every thing is bubbling away just fine - enjoy.

I am very jealous, I'd love to have that sort of friendship.

#3 Missy Shelby

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:00 PM

Sounds as though everything is perfect as it is OP.

As the saying goes, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

#4 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:08 PM

QUOTE
I am very jealous, I'd love to have that sort of friendship.


I dont think ive ever actually had such a great friend before hence why i dont want to screw it up!  xmas_cool.gif

#5 RCTP

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:14 PM

Relax Missjoads1234 as it all sounds fine.

I understand how valuable friendships like this are but it sounds like the level of friendship is mutual so I don't think you are in danger of scaring her off.

#6 Chaos in stereo

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:14 PM

Sounds like everything is fine - do you feel like you have scared people off before? I can't see anything in your post to worry about. You are indeed lucky to have a good friend - sometimes it's hard to find people you can really talk to.

PS: your babies are gorgeous!

#7 Soontobegran

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:17 PM

If it feels right then go for it Jodie. I can't see any reason you'd scare her off, you are a very likeable person you know original.gif x

#8 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:18 PM

QUOTE
do you feel like you have scared people off before?


Not not really per say however i do love company and as my hubby is away for 10+ hours a day i get quite lonely so love company! I just dont want to annoy her i guess.

QUOTE
PS: your babies are gorgeous!


Thank you  blush.gif

QUOTE
I can't see any reason you'd scare her off, you are a very likeable person you know x


Oh bless ya STBG i never see enough of you  wub.gif

Edited by missjoads1234, 28 November 2012 - 07:20 PM.


#9 Soontobegran

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:34 PM

QUOTE (missjoads1234 @ 28/11/2012, 08:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh bless ya STBG i never see enough of you  wub.gif


We'll have to organise a pre Christmas meet up with A and kiddies. original.gif

#10 FeralRebelWClaws

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:39 PM

Sounds like a great friendship OP original.gif

I think unless there *is* an issue then don't change anything, otherwise she might worry that SHE has done something original.gif

#11 Feral Becky

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:42 PM

You know, I think I need to get a grip because if this lady had no other friends apart from me I would be wondering about an ulterior motive. Not sure what though mellow.gif

Just enjoy it Miss Joads, and don't pay attention to the glass half empty people like me biggrin.gif

Also quite envious. I don't have a close female friend like that, though I have lots of 'friends'

#12 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:42 PM

QUOTE
We talk frequently on FB, or sms's. Its not always me instigating a conversation however. We call into each others places often etc etc.


Go with this - it sounds mutual.

Don't stress. wink.gif   )  

Feel confident in yourself.  (You do sound maybe a little insecure?)  There is no reason why she shouldn't love you as much as you love her.  And you have the benefit of gorgeous children too.

Enjoy.  Many of us are jealous and would love a friend like that.  I've had a couple over the years, but circumstance has tended to mean that they or I have moved away.  It is harder long-distance.....

I'm jealous!

#13 missjoads1234

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:47 PM

STBG - definatley without doubt!

Ruffles - Yes i can be. Im unsure how to act at times and feel awkward. I also dont want her to feel obligated to help with the kids as they are always with me whenever i see her. Any tips?

#14 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:57 PM

Miss Joads you a such a lovely person, it sounds like the friendship is developing nicely. How could anyone not like you? I wish we were closer and not on the other side of the country.

Edited by Sunnycat, 28 November 2012 - 09:58 PM.


#15 DreamFeralisations

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:22 PM

The only thing I would suggest is to make a deal if either of you is p*ssing the other one off to talk about it before it becomes an issue (from past experience)

Enjoy - nice to have a new friend.

#16 milkwood

Posted 28 November 2012 - 10:31 PM

What is the girl crush?  Is she single?  All sounds brilliant so far, and just thinking about the other person makes problems less likely.

#17 missjoads1234

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:41 AM

QUOTE
Miss Joads you a such a lovely person, it sounds like the friendship is developing nicely. How could anyone not like you? I wish we were closer and not on the other side of the country.


Aww SC you're too kind  hheart.gif

QUOTE
What is the girl crush? Is she single? All sounds brilliant so far, and just thinking about the other person makes problems less likely.


No she's married. Half of me wondered if i have a teeny bit of a girl crush as i think she's so wonderful and could happily spend all day every day with her  blush.gif

#18 JustBeige

Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:54 AM

QUOTE (missjoads1234 @ 28/11/2012, 08:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
STBG - definatley without doubt!

Ruffles - Yes i can be. Im unsure how to act at times and feel awkward. I also dont want her to feel obligated to help with the kids as they are always with me whenever i see her. Any tips?

Be honest.

My BFF and I have been through so many life trials over the years that up front we agreed to a couple of stipulations - lol, it was like getting married. 1) we wouldnt let our kids drag us into an arguement.  We had both lost friendships because of perceived slights our kids had done.  2) we would always be honest but blunt (neither of us are good with 'hints') if our friendship was changing or we felt differently.    9 years later it still works, even if we dont see each other as much.

so that would be my tip.  just be honest with her.  

and, of course, just keep going and enjoy your friendship original.gif



Edited by JustBeige, 29 November 2012 - 05:56 AM.


#19 No girls here

Posted 29 November 2012 - 06:06 AM

I don't think there's a problem.  If you are both contacting each other, it sounds fine.  If you start realising you're the only one initiating contact, it's time to pull back.

#20 Rachaelxxx

Posted 29 November 2012 - 07:25 AM

I think it sounds like you guys are going along beautifully.  I've had relationships with girlfriends that started off very full on and I at times wondered if we were spending too much time together too soon and we are still the best of friends.  Some people you just click with, some relationships fizzle out, but I say go for it and enjoy your friendship.

#21 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 29 November 2012 - 10:42 AM

QUOTE (suziej @ 28/11/2012, 10:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The only thing I would suggest is to make a deal if either of you is p*ssing the other one off to talk about it before it becomes an issue (from past experience)

agree with this.

QUOTE (Rachaelxxx @ 29/11/2012, 07:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think it sounds like you guys are going along beautifully.  I've had relationships with girlfriends that started off very full on and I at times wondered if we were spending too much time together too soon and we are still the best of friends. Some people you just click with, some relationships fizzle out, but I say go for it and enjoy your friendship.

Same experience.  Some people you meet and there is a instant connection.  If you are lucky, it lasts a lifetime.

Enjoy it MissJoads.  Everyone deserves good friends and most people don't have enough.

#22 Rainbow*Seeking

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:00 AM

Sounds like you have a wonder friendship original.gif

I have always wanted to have that kind of friendship with a friend because I'm an only child and would love to have a sister.

#23 Rose Tea

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:37 AM

As long as you don't start using her as a baby sitter all is fine lol.

#24 amabanana

Posted 29 November 2012 - 11:45 AM

I have a friend like that.  We see each other nearly every day and have even been on holidays together without our husbands.  So long as it's not a stalker situation where it is only you doing the contacting I don't see a problem with it.  You seem like a lovely person to me Miss Joads.  happy.gif  Enjoy your new friendship.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Recall: Another cot deemed unsafe

Parents are being warned to check their baby's cot is not one of those which have been recalled in recent weeks due to safety concerns.

The truth about breastfeeding and weightloss

Celebrities often state that their post-baby weight loss is down to breastfeeding, and breastfeeding alone. But that's not the reality for all women.

10 weird things little kids do

Most kids have their own personal brand of oddity. It's usually nothing to worry about, but every now and again you might find yourself scratching your head and asking, ?Really? Is that really a thing??

The app that helps detect signs of autism

Parents can assess their children's progress at critical developmental stages, thanks to this new app.

Long battle to learn the truth about Ariana's birth

Cerise and Tim Lawn spent two years fighting to find out how a healthy pregnancy turned into a nightmare birth, and why their daughter now suffers from disabilities she shouldn't have.

Christina Aguilera announces daughter's name

Christina Aguilera and her fiance, Matt Rutler, have welcomed their daughter into the world.

Couple caught in surrogacy crackdown

An Australian couple caught up in Thailand's surrogacy crackdown have said many parents are distraught and facing dire financial difficulties as are they are unable to bring their surrogate-born babies home.

'Tired' mum dies of undiagnosed diabetes

New mum Nicky Rigby thought her exhaustion was due to the demands of looking after her baby. But the 26-year-old was seriously ill with diabetes, and died due to her condition not being diagnosed.

5 co-sleeping myths busted

In case you are co-sleeping with your baby, and all the ?helpful? advice from others is sending you down the slippery slope of self-doubt, let?s bust a few myths on the topic.

When pregnancy takes you down memory lane

One mum-to-be discovers pregnancy hormones can give rise to some surprising emotions.

What?s your love language?

The secret to making your partner feel special is to know which language of love they favour ? and it?s the same for your kids, too.

Returning to exercise after a caesarean

I had my daughter four months ago via caesarean, and I want to get back into exercise. What are some good first steps I can take?

20 signs of a great relationship

The secret to a perfect relationship is admitting you are wrong after an argument, five kisses a day and sex twice a week, a new survey suggests.

Video: emotional 60-second Robin Williams tribute

Take a minute to remember some of the greatest films of your childhood ... and have a few tissues close at hand.

The realities of escaping domestic violence

?Why doesn?t she just leave?? is the common question people ask when trying to understand domestic violence. For many, leaving the relationship is far from straightforward.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Mum gives birth at school

Whether they're out of favour traditional names, or the parents were a little creative, here are the least popular names of 2013.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.