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Neighbourhood kids' manners
What do you think?

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22 replies to this topic

#1 Kay1

Posted 28 November 2012 - 03:28 PM

So we have new neighbours. They seem very nice. Two boys a bit older than ours. They play soccer and cricket in their yard and in the park behind us. The other day I saw one of them jump the fence into our pool area to retrieve a football. I asked him to ring the doorbell next time and I'd be happy to get it for him but please don't jump the fence. Its not good for the fence and I don't like kids going in the pool area without my knowledge for obvious reasons.

Today another boy (playing at the same neighbours') wandered right down our (long) driveway and into our backyard (gate was open). I looked up and saw someone in our yard - I was friendly to him but told him the same thing.

So WDYT? I think its terribly rude to just go onto someone else's property and I always make my kids go and ring the doorbell. If there's no one home they wait until they come home and try again.

I am always very friendly to the kids who do ring the bell (went through this with the last lot) but I don't appreciate people appearing in my backyard unannounced. I am a pretty private person, and we are not averse to a quick nudie cool down swim in our family.....blush.gif

Edited by Kay1, 28 November 2012 - 03:29 PM.

#2 fancie shmancie

Posted 28 November 2012 - 03:36 PM

I'm with you, OP.  Definitely ask permission first.

Front yard?  Help yourself.

Back yard?  Ask first.


Posted 28 November 2012 - 03:40 PM

I would definitely not be happy with that either.

#4 Squeekums Da Feral

Posted 28 November 2012 - 03:44 PM

Thanfully no one will ever do that here cos,
Puppy says NO!

#5 Phascogale

Posted 28 November 2012 - 03:51 PM

I wouldn'tbe happyabout it and would do the same as you. However at the last place they lived they may have had that sort of freedom with the neighbours property and assumed you would be the same. They may not  have known any different which is why you set them straight.

#6 marley*and*me

Posted 28 November 2012 - 03:56 PM

Meh issue for me. I would just wave and yell out hello.

Saves me having to get their stuff all the time if they can do it themselves. But that is just me.

#7 bakesgirls

Posted 28 November 2012 - 03:58 PM

Rude. Tell them next time they do it, that if it happens again, you will speak to their parents.

I would like to be asked first if someone needs to access my back yard, I expect my children to ask permission also if they needs to retrieve something from someone elses yard. If the person who lives there is not at home, I expect them to wait and try again later.

#8 BadCat

Posted 28 November 2012 - 04:01 PM

Wouldn't bother me at all.  In fact I've told the kids over the back that they can jump the fence and get their ball any time they like.  They still come and knock on the door though.  I imagine their parents insist on it.  It's a pain in the bum.  I'd prefer they didn't bother me.

#9 kpingitquiet

Posted 28 November 2012 - 04:12 PM

This is why we have big dogs biggrin.gif

#10 Sancti-mummy

Posted 28 November 2012 - 04:22 PM

Absolutely it is rude - tell them, mention in passing to the parents "I hope you don't mind, but I advised your kids to always knock to come into the back yard - could you please follow up on this", reiterate by having gates closed.

As you have a pool, you would, I assume, have some liability should anything happen - it is better to be safe than sorry.

#11 FeralAlpacaWarrior

Posted 28 November 2012 - 04:30 PM

Yup rude. At my parents' house last week, a boy from across the road accidentally kicked his ball into their front yard. He walked right past it to my parents' front door to ask if he could retrieve it. Very polite!

#12 julz78

Posted 28 November 2012 - 04:31 PM

It is completely rude and invasive I would be having words with the children and if they continued I would have words with their parents. If I owned this property I would even go as far as to grow some sort of prickly climber along the fence where the kids are jumping into pool area, anything to dissuade them.

#13 Kay1

Posted 28 November 2012 - 04:57 PM

I wouldn'tbe happyabout it and would do the same as you. However at the last place they lived they may have had that sort of freedom with the neighbours property and assumed you would be the same. They may not have known any different which is why you set them straight.

This iswhat I assumed, but today the father was there! He looked over the fence as I was closing the gate and I thought he was going to say sorry but he just waved even though he heard me ask the kid to ring the bell next time.

Anyway we had a ring on the door a bit later and it must have happened again while I was out as the ball was in the pool when I got home - so they seem to have taken it on board.

#14 Mumma3

Posted 28 November 2012 - 05:07 PM

At our old house, we had 1 neighbour who always told the kids not to bother knocking. Just go and get the ball, darling, you don't need to knock. Neighbours on the other side, however, were the complete opposite and you would be lucky to get the ball back at all, even if you did ask!
I never minded if kids came in to get a ball, but you can't get into our backyard without unlocking a gate, so they have to knock.
I think it depends on the relationship but in your case OP, I think the pool is the bigger issue.

#15 wombatgirl

Posted 28 November 2012 - 05:31 PM

Sounds like they have listened to what you have asked which is great.  It  does concern me is that kids can climb into your pool area.

#16 tothebeach

Posted 28 November 2012 - 05:40 PM

When we first moved in, the boys next door would jump the fence to get their ball.  I didn't think anything of it, other than the must have been allowed to do it before.  So, I asked them to knock next time and they did.

We have kids now and have been at our house for 7 years - my boys are always jumping the fence to get the neighbours now.

#17 JazzyWeasel

Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:43 PM

I wish the 3 boys next door had freedom when younger. The amount of times they banged on the front door to get their ball  mad.gif  but we had a big dog back then so really they couldn't just come in.

#18 MGB

Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:48 PM

I would only want to know because you mentioned you had a pool, otherwise if they were quickly retrieving their ball it wouldn't worry me too much.

#19 EsmeLennox

Posted 28 November 2012 - 06:54 PM

It would only be the pool aspect that would make me want them to ask, otherwise it wouldn't worry me. My kids jump the neighbour's fence to retrieve balls, but only if we know they aren't home. If they are home, they ask permission first. One lot of neighbours have just told them to jump the fence rather than bothering them with a knock at the door.

#20 Feral*Spikey*

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:30 PM

If you have a pool, or dogs, then no-one should be jumping the fence or strolling into your backyard without you being present. Adult supervision and all of that.

I've had to ask our neighbours not to jump the fence, as one set of neighbours purposely injured one of my dogs through the fence, and I don't completely trust her or the other two now, unless I'm there. She no longer thinks 'everyone' is her friend, which means the potential for a bite is there.

Which means the other, nice, set of neighbours have to wait for me to retrieve stuff for them. Its not fair, but I don't want to risk them being hurt.

#21 probyber

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:44 PM

I have come home too two kids in the back yard playing with the big bad german shepherd. They apologised for being there and apparently did knock and once they decided Duke wasn't going to eat them they thought it was fine. It was only a one off thing.

#22 Overtherainbow

Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:46 PM

It would bother me.  Our kids have managed to lose a couple of things over different fences.  We go to the neighbour with them, knock and ask if it could be returned.  

One neighbour is elderly and has told us he'll return it the next day instead which is his right.  

I would be ticked off if my kids even considered jumping the fence to get their toys back.

#23 Milly Molly Mandy

Posted 28 November 2012 - 08:05 PM

Once I met them it wouldn't bother me (except with pool, and unless they were little sh*ts)

We don't have fences and our place can be used as a shortcut to local park and the beach, often see kids we know passing through, give them a wave and say hello. A couple of neighbourhood kids use our tramp too, they are pretty free range but lovely kids so it's all good.

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