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Did you send your twins to daycare on different days?
12 replies to this topic
Posted 27 November 2012 - 09:47 PM
I was just wondering if anyone has sent their twins to daycare on different days and had some one on one time with each twin? My boys go to daycare for a couple of days a week when I am working and have had to go by themselves once each (when DS2 was having grommet surgery and then DS3 was hospitalised with pneumonia). They did not cope at all without their brother.
To be honest I'm reluctant to split them up at all given how distressed they were on those days, but a friend mentioned that she does this and it works well for her and her twins.
Has anyone else considered this? My boys only turned 2 last week so are still quite young.
Posted 27 November 2012 - 10:14 PM
If I could have afforded it I would have sent mine one day together and then 1 day each, that way I'd get 1 day alone and then 1 day one on one with them, I have found on the odd occasion when I have had them one on one with me they were sooo different.
Posted 27 November 2012 - 10:27 PM
Sorry, I don't have twins, but like you say, 2 years old is still very young and if they don't cope without each other, I'd keep them together for the time being. Maybe in a year's time when they start being able to play with others, you could try it.
Posted 27 November 2012 - 10:55 PM
My twins are 7 now but when they were younger I thought about sending them on different days but didn't do it. I work from home and was sending them 2 days a week. For me I found it better for them to go on the same days because it meant I could get so much more work done on those days which freedme up a bit to spend ore time with them on other days. If they went on seperate days I still wouldn't get to spend much quality time with as I'd always be trying to catch up on my workload.
I don't think it has affected them at all by not having that day alone with me. They are very different anyway so I found I was spending one on one time with them doing different things e.g. I'd spend time reading to one and then later doing crafty things with the other.
Now that they are older (2nd yr of school) they still stay together in one group of friends but within that group they each have their own "best friend" and are quite happy to be seperated. I find teachers and other parents often refer to them as "the twins" (which I don't have a problem with) but the otherkids treat them as individuals.
Posted 28 November 2012 - 09:31 AM
No, mine went to daycare together because they were the days I worked.
I used to think I might try it in preschool but it just never seemed particularly necessary. My twins are b/g so they didnt' have any issues with being considered different.
We tried to get one on one time other ways. On weekends etc when DH could take one.
They were in the same class for the first year of school and by their own choice went into separate classes the next year.
Posted 28 November 2012 - 03:52 PM
Hi op,my id twins are 16months and go to daycare together, however when they are seperated they do get distressed. I would love to spend some one on one time with them too, but i think that will be more feasable when they are older ie special outings etc maybe on weekends whilst the other is a grandmas for a bit?
Posted 28 November 2012 - 07:41 PM
Thanks for your thoughts everyone. I was beginning to wonder whether I was doing my boys a disservice by not giving them individual days, but I do get a bit of one on one time on weekends etc.
I'm going to trust my instincts and keep them together, they rely on each other so much I am not happy to take away their support network.
Thanks again for the responses
Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:44 PM
Hi, whilst my twins did not go to daycare, they did attend preschool in 2011 and of the 3 days of attendance, they had one day on their own to give me more 1:1 time and to encourage one of my boys to be less dependent on his twin.
It was quite simply the best thing I could have done for all three of us.
Posted 30 November 2012 - 07:49 PM
My girls went to daycare on the same days as I worked but also gave me time to do things that were difficult even with 1 with me. They would've missed each other terribly as they really are each other's best friend. Also mine are identical and they do have a very strong bond.
They are finishing Grade 3 in two weeks and for the first time in Grade 4 they are going to be split. DD2 wants her "space" but now she is so anxious about leaving DD1 to fend for herself.
You are not doing them a disservice as there will be plenty of time for that later on at school. Its a personal choice and they are still so young, why not let them enjoy each other.
Posted 06 December 2012 - 04:10 PM
Mine have always gone on the same days. Any seperation anxiety they ever had was being apart from each other so it's the right thing for them
Posted 10 December 2012 - 01:50 AM
yup for sure..and I'm so glad. DD is very independent but ds2 likes to have her around. He has really benefitted so much, independent has his own friends etc it will help when they go to prep. they have been going separate days for about 2 yrs now. Next year is pre-school and due to limited availability they are going the same days. But I don't think there will be an issue when they get split up for prep. I have b.g twins so it also gave me a chance to spend 1 on 1 time with each i.e take my dd to watch a girly movie... DS is much more active and doesn't have the attention span for the cinemas yet...I take ds to swim lessons. dd prefers ballet to swimming.
Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:37 PM
Honestly, I need the break too much. I've kept one home from child care once when she was sick and we had a lovely day.
I do a one-on-one day with each once a month, they other spends the day with my mum, which they love
Posted 17 January 2013 - 08:46 PM
Sorry I don't have twins but a friend of mine faced a hat decision when her twins were going into year 1 at school.
One of her twins relied very heavily on the other for a lot of things and was quite behind the other as far as schooling was concerned.
She made the decision to separate then in year one and for her twins it was the best thing she could of done for their individual development of them both.
But obviously they are older than your twins so may not be the right thing to do just now.
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