Jump to content

getting a child christened
without the other parents consent


  • Please log in to reply
83 replies to this topic

#1 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:18 PM

I know its not illegal but how would you feel if your ex partner went and got your child christened without your consent or even your knowledge and you had to find out through other people??

There is a court order in place where each parent is to keep the other one informed of any relevant issues with the children and they failed to do this.

Is there absouletly nothing that can be done about this?





#2 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:22 PM

no parents are not together.

#3 katniss

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:25 PM

I'd be ropeable.

#4 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:27 PM

he is very very ropable! this is a very typical thing for her to do, hes over it and wants some consequences for her actions!

#5 CallMeFeral

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:27 PM

It's obviously a crappy thing to do.
But you can't exactly un-christen them, can you!

#6 credence

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:27 PM

I don't know the legal ins and outs of this but

QUOTE
There is a court order in place where each parent is to keep the other one informed of any relevant issues with the children and they failed to do this.


I would think this is a fairly major thing to keep the other parent informed of.

#7 Toodee

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:30 PM

It wouldn't really bother me tbh. It's not something I believe in and it hasn't changed anything about the child at all (in my eyes). I would be more upset if I believed but was left out of the whole thing by the ex.

#8 opethmum

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:43 PM

Look there is nothing you can do to un-Christen them (if that is a term) unfortunately. I am sorry that this has happened and I would feel sad that the two parents of this poor child can not communicate effectively.
I know this child is your step child but I think in all honesty that you should let it go and stop fuelling the fire. Yes it was very distasteful what she did but the ultimate loser in all of this is the Child. I would personally butt out and let it go.
I would stop the moral crusade and the point scoring and making her pay because once again the loser will be the child.

#9 casime

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:45 PM

I think it would depend on the "why" he felt so strongly.  If they were still together would he be saying "no" because of any particular reason (eg a different faith to him)?  If they were still together and he would have agreed to have the child baptised, then I think he should let it go.

#10 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:47 PM

so if the father of your child took your child got them baptized you would go 'oh that was distastful' and move on?



#11 d├ęsir d'amour

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:50 PM

It's a smear of water on the head and a boring ceremony.

I don't see the reason to kick up a big stink about it.

He can continue to raise the child when he has access in his faith/lack thereof.

She can raise the child when in her care in her faith.

Think of it as his opportunity to provide a balanced worldview, rather than a reason to make their relationship less amicable.

#12 Propaganda

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:54 PM

I would be furious.

I am not religious at all, and am in fact against indoctrinating children. My husband is not religious but Christening is the done thing in his family. He knew that it wasn't going to happen with our daughter, and it won't happen with any other children we have together either.

I would be outraged if I discovered a family member betrayed my trust and did something so completely against my views.

#13 PrincessPeach

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:57 PM

Given there is a court order in place, I think a phone call to his solicitor might be in order.

A christening is kind of a relevant issue with a child.



#14 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:00 PM

he has not long called the lawyer and yes seeing as this is yet another breech of court order she can be sent to court for this (another breech was being blind drunk while children were in her care.....you know the good catholic type)

#15 bakesgirls

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:03 PM

I honestly don't think I'd hold a grudge over it. Sure, I'd be annoyed, but for me a christening doesn't hold any value. It means nothing to me because I'm not religious. The child wasn't hurt, I wasn't hurt, It's not a big deal. It's just a bit of water and a boring service IMO.

A father has a right to decide religious matters in his home and time, just as the mother has the right to have nothing to do with religion in hers.

#16 SaintJoe

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:03 PM

I don't see the big deal at all. Getting a child christened is hardly indoctrinating. It is not going to change any aspect of the child's understanding, health or emotional well being.

OP would your partner allow the child to be christened if the parent asked? If the answer is yes then no big deal. If the answer would be no, then perhaps that is why it happened.

Edited by **myboys**, 27 November 2012 - 05:05 PM.


#17 WhatWouldBuffyDo?

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:08 PM

.

Edited by Ruby Victoria, 27 November 2012 - 05:10 PM.


#18 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:08 PM

he would have said no.

but how is it just her decsion to make? i am a mother myself.....and im not one of these women who seem to think just because they are they mother they get all the choice on their own about what happens with their child. He is just as much his father as she is his mother.




#19 Futhermore

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:09 PM

QUOTE
It wouldn't really bother me tbh. It's not something I believe in and it hasn't changed anything about the child at all (in my eyes). I would be more upset if I believed but was left out of the whole thing by the ex.


This

QUOTE (stressnless9 @ 27/11/2012, 04:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
so if the father of your child took your child got them baptized you would go 'oh that was distastful' and move on?



Yes, I would, as a non believer I can't see what harm it could do and absolutely don't think it's a big deal

#20 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:10 PM

QUOTE (Ruby Victoria @ 27/11/2012, 06:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Excuse me?



i was being sarcastic....about her....wanting to get a child christened when she doesnt even follow the religion.

#21 EssentialBludger

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:11 PM

I don't think I would care? I don't believe, so it wouldn't make any difference to me.

I might be ignorant, but what exactly does it change?

#22 JaneDoe2010

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:12 PM

Whilst I do agree it's wrong if there is a court order in place, I essentially agree with this:

QUOTE (NapCat @ 27/11/2012, 05:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's a smear of water on the head and a boring ceremony.

I don't see the reason to kick up a big stink about it.

He can continue to raise the child when he has access in his faith/lack thereof.

She can raise the child when in her care in her faith.

Think of it as his opportunity to provide a balanced worldview, rather than a reason to make their relationship less amicable.



#23 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:15 PM

i guess your right it doesnt exactly change anything... because i can guarantee the boys wont grow up to be religious in any way. (and no not because their father will push that onto them because he wont)

He doesnt believe in any of that stuff, he wasnt asked,made aware of it in any way etc he had to find out through other people in town asking why wouldnt u be there for something like that.....because they have shared custody and the court order was put in place to prevent her from making decsions about the boys school,health etc and shes basically doing whatever she feels like...

#24 WhatWouldBuffyDo?

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:16 PM

QUOTE (stressnless9 @ 27/11/2012, 06:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
i was being sarcastic....about her....wanting to get a child christened when she doesnt even follow the religion.


You might want to look into Catholicism a little more if you think by being drunk she is not "following the religion".

Irresponsible parent? Sure.

Bad Catholic?  No. Sorry.

Edited by Ruby Victoria, 27 November 2012 - 05:18 PM.


#25 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:22 PM

QUOTE (Ruby Victoria @ 27/11/2012, 06:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You might want to look into Catholicism a little more if you think by being drunk she is not "following the religion".

Irresponsible parent? Sure.

Bad Catholic? No. Sorry.



cheating,lying,stealing,breaking into peoples houses,scratching peoples cars? this is what she does (just a few small thing by the way) would hate to think what a bad catholic was if these things werent.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Clever panda fakes pregnancy

News that a giant panda was pregnant prompted much excitement, but it appears there were never any cubs on the way.

'I survived placenta percreta'

When writing her birth plan, Simone Pavil included an item most women wouldn?t even think about: what should happen if she was put on life support. The mum had the potentially fatal condition placenta accreta.

Managing personal space as a mum

In the midst of the early parenting years, our bodies and minds can seemingly be overtaken by our offspring. How can we balance our need for personal space with the needs of our children?

'If love could have saved you, you'd have never left'

The words "spontaneous abortion" on the hospital paperwork really got to me. My baby died; I didn't spontaneously decide to abort him.

15 classic Aussie ads

Watch some of the classic Australian ads of the 80s, 90s and 00s, and remember the catchphrases and jingles we all used to know so well ...

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Going viral

Outrage over baby's icy challenge

A man has been reported to child protective services after taking the ALS ice bucket challenge with his 10-month-old granddaughter.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.