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getting a child christened
without the other parents consent


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#1 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:18 PM

I know its not illegal but how would you feel if your ex partner went and got your child christened without your consent or even your knowledge and you had to find out through other people??

There is a court order in place where each parent is to keep the other one informed of any relevant issues with the children and they failed to do this.

Is there absouletly nothing that can be done about this?





#2 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:22 PM

no parents are not together.

#3 katniss

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:25 PM

I'd be ropeable.

#4 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:27 PM

he is very very ropable! this is a very typical thing for her to do, hes over it and wants some consequences for her actions!

#5 CallMeFeral

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:27 PM

It's obviously a crappy thing to do.
But you can't exactly un-christen them, can you!

#6 credence

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:27 PM

I don't know the legal ins and outs of this but

QUOTE
There is a court order in place where each parent is to keep the other one informed of any relevant issues with the children and they failed to do this.


I would think this is a fairly major thing to keep the other parent informed of.

#7 Toodee

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:30 PM

It wouldn't really bother me tbh. It's not something I believe in and it hasn't changed anything about the child at all (in my eyes). I would be more upset if I believed but was left out of the whole thing by the ex.

#8 opethmum

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:43 PM

Look there is nothing you can do to un-Christen them (if that is a term) unfortunately. I am sorry that this has happened and I would feel sad that the two parents of this poor child can not communicate effectively.
I know this child is your step child but I think in all honesty that you should let it go and stop fuelling the fire. Yes it was very distasteful what she did but the ultimate loser in all of this is the Child. I would personally butt out and let it go.
I would stop the moral crusade and the point scoring and making her pay because once again the loser will be the child.

#9 casime

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:45 PM

I think it would depend on the "why" he felt so strongly.  If they were still together would he be saying "no" because of any particular reason (eg a different faith to him)?  If they were still together and he would have agreed to have the child baptised, then I think he should let it go.

#10 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:47 PM

so if the father of your child took your child got them baptized you would go 'oh that was distastful' and move on?



#11 d├ęsir d'amour

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:50 PM

It's a smear of water on the head and a boring ceremony.

I don't see the reason to kick up a big stink about it.

He can continue to raise the child when he has access in his faith/lack thereof.

She can raise the child when in her care in her faith.

Think of it as his opportunity to provide a balanced worldview, rather than a reason to make their relationship less amicable.

#12 Propaganda

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:54 PM

I would be furious.

I am not religious at all, and am in fact against indoctrinating children. My husband is not religious but Christening is the done thing in his family. He knew that it wasn't going to happen with our daughter, and it won't happen with any other children we have together either.

I would be outraged if I discovered a family member betrayed my trust and did something so completely against my views.

#13 PrincessPeach

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:57 PM

Given there is a court order in place, I think a phone call to his solicitor might be in order.

A christening is kind of a relevant issue with a child.



#14 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:00 PM

he has not long called the lawyer and yes seeing as this is yet another breech of court order she can be sent to court for this (another breech was being blind drunk while children were in her care.....you know the good catholic type)

#15 bakesferalgirls

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:03 PM

I honestly don't think I'd hold a grudge over it. Sure, I'd be annoyed, but for me a christening doesn't hold any value. It means nothing to me because I'm not religious. The child wasn't hurt, I wasn't hurt, It's not a big deal. It's just a bit of water and a boring service IMO.

A father has a right to decide religious matters in his home and time, just as the mother has the right to have nothing to do with religion in hers.

#16 SaintJoe

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:03 PM

I don't see the big deal at all. Getting a child christened is hardly indoctrinating. It is not going to change any aspect of the child's understanding, health or emotional well being.

OP would your partner allow the child to be christened if the parent asked? If the answer is yes then no big deal. If the answer would be no, then perhaps that is why it happened.

Edited by **myboys**, 27 November 2012 - 05:05 PM.


#17 WhatWouldBuffyDo?

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:08 PM

.

Edited by Ruby Victoria, 27 November 2012 - 05:10 PM.


#18 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:08 PM

he would have said no.

but how is it just her decsion to make? i am a mother myself.....and im not one of these women who seem to think just because they are they mother they get all the choice on their own about what happens with their child. He is just as much his father as she is his mother.




#19 Futhermore

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:09 PM

QUOTE
It wouldn't really bother me tbh. It's not something I believe in and it hasn't changed anything about the child at all (in my eyes). I would be more upset if I believed but was left out of the whole thing by the ex.


This

QUOTE (stressnless9 @ 27/11/2012, 04:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
so if the father of your child took your child got them baptized you would go 'oh that was distastful' and move on?



Yes, I would, as a non believer I can't see what harm it could do and absolutely don't think it's a big deal

#20 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:10 PM

QUOTE (Ruby Victoria @ 27/11/2012, 06:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Excuse me?



i was being sarcastic....about her....wanting to get a child christened when she doesnt even follow the religion.

#21 EssentialBludger

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:11 PM

I don't think I would care? I don't believe, so it wouldn't make any difference to me.

I might be ignorant, but what exactly does it change?

#22 JaneDoe2010

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:12 PM

Whilst I do agree it's wrong if there is a court order in place, I essentially agree with this:

QUOTE (NapCat @ 27/11/2012, 05:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's a smear of water on the head and a boring ceremony.

I don't see the reason to kick up a big stink about it.

He can continue to raise the child when he has access in his faith/lack thereof.

She can raise the child when in her care in her faith.

Think of it as his opportunity to provide a balanced worldview, rather than a reason to make their relationship less amicable.



#23 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:15 PM

i guess your right it doesnt exactly change anything... because i can guarantee the boys wont grow up to be religious in any way. (and no not because their father will push that onto them because he wont)

He doesnt believe in any of that stuff, he wasnt asked,made aware of it in any way etc he had to find out through other people in town asking why wouldnt u be there for something like that.....because they have shared custody and the court order was put in place to prevent her from making decsions about the boys school,health etc and shes basically doing whatever she feels like...

#24 WhatWouldBuffyDo?

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:16 PM

QUOTE (stressnless9 @ 27/11/2012, 06:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
i was being sarcastic....about her....wanting to get a child christened when she doesnt even follow the religion.


You might want to look into Catholicism a little more if you think by being drunk she is not "following the religion".

Irresponsible parent? Sure.

Bad Catholic?  No. Sorry.

Edited by Ruby Victoria, 27 November 2012 - 05:18 PM.


#25 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:22 PM

QUOTE (Ruby Victoria @ 27/11/2012, 06:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You might want to look into Catholicism a little more if you think by being drunk she is not "following the religion".

Irresponsible parent? Sure.

Bad Catholic? No. Sorry.



cheating,lying,stealing,breaking into peoples houses,scratching peoples cars? this is what she does (just a few small thing by the way) would hate to think what a bad catholic was if these things werent.




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