Jump to content

getting a child christened
without the other parents consent


  • Please log in to reply
80 replies to this topic

#1 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:18 PM

I know its not illegal but how would you feel if your ex partner went and got your child christened without your consent or even your knowledge and you had to find out through other people??

There is a court order in place where each parent is to keep the other one informed of any relevant issues with the children and they failed to do this.

Is there absouletly nothing that can be done about this?





#2 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:22 PM

no parents are not together.

#3 katniss

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:25 PM

I'd be ropeable.

#4 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:27 PM

he is very very ropable! this is a very typical thing for her to do, hes over it and wants some consequences for her actions!

#5 CallMeFeral

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:27 PM

It's obviously a crappy thing to do.
But you can't exactly un-christen them, can you!

#6 ACO

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:27 PM

I don't know the legal ins and outs of this but

QUOTE
There is a court order in place where each parent is to keep the other one informed of any relevant issues with the children and they failed to do this.


I would think this is a fairly major thing to keep the other parent informed of.

#7 Toodee

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:30 PM

It wouldn't really bother me tbh. It's not something I believe in and it hasn't changed anything about the child at all (in my eyes). I would be more upset if I believed but was left out of the whole thing by the ex.

#8 opethmum

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:43 PM

Look there is nothing you can do to un-Christen them (if that is a term) unfortunately. I am sorry that this has happened and I would feel sad that the two parents of this poor child can not communicate effectively.
I know this child is your step child but I think in all honesty that you should let it go and stop fuelling the fire. Yes it was very distasteful what she did but the ultimate loser in all of this is the Child. I would personally butt out and let it go.
I would stop the moral crusade and the point scoring and making her pay because once again the loser will be the child.

#9 casime

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:45 PM

I think it would depend on the "why" he felt so strongly.  If they were still together would he be saying "no" because of any particular reason (eg a different faith to him)?  If they were still together and he would have agreed to have the child baptised, then I think he should let it go.

#10 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:47 PM

so if the father of your child took your child got them baptized you would go 'oh that was distastful' and move on?



#11 Pull Up A Beanbag

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:50 PM

It's a smear of water on the head and a boring ceremony.

I don't see the reason to kick up a big stink about it.

He can continue to raise the child when he has access in his faith/lack thereof.

She can raise the child when in her care in her faith.

Think of it as his opportunity to provide a balanced worldview, rather than a reason to make their relationship less amicable.

#12 Propaganda

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:54 PM

I would be furious.

I am not religious at all, and am in fact against indoctrinating children. My husband is not religious but Christening is the done thing in his family. He knew that it wasn't going to happen with our daughter, and it won't happen with any other children we have together either.

I would be outraged if I discovered a family member betrayed my trust and did something so completely against my views.

#13 PrincessPeach

Posted 27 November 2012 - 04:57 PM

Given there is a court order in place, I think a phone call to his solicitor might be in order.

A christening is kind of a relevant issue with a child.



#14 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:00 PM

he has not long called the lawyer and yes seeing as this is yet another breech of court order she can be sent to court for this (another breech was being blind drunk while children were in her care.....you know the good catholic type)

#15 bakesgirls

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:03 PM

I honestly don't think I'd hold a grudge over it. Sure, I'd be annoyed, but for me a christening doesn't hold any value. It means nothing to me because I'm not religious. The child wasn't hurt, I wasn't hurt, It's not a big deal. It's just a bit of water and a boring service IMO.

A father has a right to decide religious matters in his home and time, just as the mother has the right to have nothing to do with religion in hers.

#16 TobiasFLK

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:03 PM

I don't see the big deal at all. Getting a child christened is hardly indoctrinating. It is not going to change any aspect of the child's understanding, health or emotional well being.

OP would your partner allow the child to be christened if the parent asked? If the answer is yes then no big deal. If the answer would be no, then perhaps that is why it happened.

Edited by **myboys**, 27 November 2012 - 05:05 PM.


#17 Just a marshmallow

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:08 PM

.

Edited by Ruby Victoria, 27 November 2012 - 05:10 PM.


#18 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:08 PM

he would have said no.

but how is it just her decsion to make? i am a mother myself.....and im not one of these women who seem to think just because they are they mother they get all the choice on their own about what happens with their child. He is just as much his father as she is his mother.




#19 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:10 PM

QUOTE (Ruby Victoria @ 27/11/2012, 06:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Excuse me?



i was being sarcastic....about her....wanting to get a child christened when she doesnt even follow the religion.

#20 EssentialBludger

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:11 PM

I don't think I would care? I don't believe, so it wouldn't make any difference to me.

I might be ignorant, but what exactly does it change?

#21 Guest_JaneDoe2010_*

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:12 PM

Whilst I do agree it's wrong if there is a court order in place, I essentially agree with this:

QUOTE (NapCat @ 27/11/2012, 05:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It's a smear of water on the head and a boring ceremony.

I don't see the reason to kick up a big stink about it.

He can continue to raise the child when he has access in his faith/lack thereof.

She can raise the child when in her care in her faith.

Think of it as his opportunity to provide a balanced worldview, rather than a reason to make their relationship less amicable.



#22 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:15 PM

i guess your right it doesnt exactly change anything... because i can guarantee the boys wont grow up to be religious in any way. (and no not because their father will push that onto them because he wont)

He doesnt believe in any of that stuff, he wasnt asked,made aware of it in any way etc he had to find out through other people in town asking why wouldnt u be there for something like that.....because they have shared custody and the court order was put in place to prevent her from making decsions about the boys school,health etc and shes basically doing whatever she feels like...

#23 Just a marshmallow

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:16 PM

QUOTE (stressnless9 @ 27/11/2012, 06:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
i was being sarcastic....about her....wanting to get a child christened when she doesnt even follow the religion.


You might want to look into Catholicism a little more if you think by being drunk she is not "following the religion".

Irresponsible parent? Sure.

Bad Catholic?  No. Sorry.

Edited by Ruby Victoria, 27 November 2012 - 05:18 PM.


#24 stressnless9

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:22 PM

QUOTE (Ruby Victoria @ 27/11/2012, 06:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You might want to look into Catholicism a little more if you think by being drunk she is not "following the religion".

Irresponsible parent? Sure.

Bad Catholic? No. Sorry.



cheating,lying,stealing,breaking into peoples houses,scratching peoples cars? this is what she does (just a few small thing by the way) would hate to think what a bad catholic was if these things werent.

#25 CherrySunday

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:32 PM

Honestly, I wouldn't be that p*ssed off - a christening is a silly ceremony that means nothing to a child. It's not like surgery or a tattoo.
It would rate about the same as a haircut to me.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How an inquest into one stillbirth is saving lives

A ground-breaking court case that has focused solely on one stillborn baby has already helped to save the lives of other babies.

Get them into reading early with a Nouk book subscription

There's no bonding activity quite like reading to your baby or toddler, and all the signs point to it being important for social and literacy development as well.

Vote in our Parents' Choice Awards - and WIN!

Vote and you could win a a share of $2500 worth of prizes - Hurry - voting closes midnight Monday September 19.

I don't want my husband to go on a buck's trip

My husband's best friend is getting married and has planned a men's bachelor party.

The celeb parents who needed a mediator to stop fighting over baby names

Deciding on a baby name can be a fraught experience for many parents.

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

May Gibbs' 'Gumnut Babies' turns 100 with a special edition, coins, stamps and more

It's time to celebrate the centenary of May Gibbs' very first book release, Gumnut Babies.

African baby names

We have some absolutely gorgeous selections of African baby names for you to consider for your baby.

The mum who retrained to became a plumber

One company refused to give her an apprenticeship because they believed she would be too much of a distraction to the males. 

Meningococcal meningitis: signs, treatment and prevention

What is meningococcal meningitis, why does it occur in seasons, and why does it strike fear into the hearts of so many?

I was scared of the dentist ... and my son paid the price

It was a moment where I could certainly learn from his behaviour, and not him from mine.

Family of toddler killed by alligator at Disney honours his third birthday

The family told supporters that they wanted to celebrate the boy's "first birthday in heaven".

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

7 tips to help you prepare your home for parenthood

Prep your home to make becoming a new parent as stress-free as possible.

Fatherhood to the beat of Daniel's drum

Daniel Gibney knew fatherhood would change him, but he didn't realise it would lead to a global business venture for his family.

A case of gastro and the mummy mean girls

I don't blame any first-time mother who is terrified of her or her baby catching gastro, but it will find you eventually.

Zooey Deschanel's cake smash fail for daughter Elsie

"I kept seeing on the Internet, 'You gotta make a smash cake for your one-year-old,' so I'm like, 'I'm making this cake just so she can smash it.'"

Five things mums should never do

Although I preach the "each to their own" method of parenting, it's unavoidable to have those moments of panic.

Mum allegedly 'groped' while holding toddler in Sydney pool

A mum has told of her horror after she was allegedly sexually assaulted while at a swimming centre with her two young children.

'It whacked me': Michelle Bridges on sleep deprivation and returning to exercise

Michelle Bridges knows a lot about health and fitness, but when she became a mum she had to learn a few lessons the hard way.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Vote in our Parents' Choice Awards - and WIN!

Vote and you could win a a share of $2500 worth of prizes - Hurry - voting closes midnight Monday September 19.

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

 

SYDNEY SHOW - 23-25 Sept

Essential Baby & Toddler Show - Sydney

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores, will be held in Sydney on 23-25 September. Register for your free ticket now to save $20!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.