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Can you sniff out what's real and what's not
With kids throwing sickies?


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#1 *Lib*

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:08 AM

At least once or twice a month one of us girls in the office (there's 2 of us, we're sisters) have a kid come to work with us. Generally they are running around fine by 9am. They are good at doing the sick, until they get to work. When I was a kid mum and dad were running the business on their own, so we had to be bleeding from the eyes to get a day off! I'd be more inclined to let her have a just for fun day off if she hasn't already taken so many!!

So do your kids do it?? If they do, how do you deal with it? I want to start with a fresh slate next year. But I don't think I should be rewarding her to go to school IYKWIM?

#2 strawberrycakes

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:14 AM

My almost 5 yr old chucked a sickie a couple of weeks ago.  She complained of a sore stomach the day before so DH stayed home from work, the next day she said she was still sick so I took the day off work.  A couple of hours later she was eating the house out & running around.

Yesterday she had the day off & went to her grandparents because of a cold/cough, she has already tried to tell me this morning that she has to go back to Nanny's today because she has the sniffles.  I am not falling for it again, if she can argue with me & run up & down the house she can go to preschool.

#3 corbel

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:17 AM

I will send them to school if they "recover". But we have a rule in our house that unless they are obviously sick, they have to give school a go and the school are aware and agree with this as it is an issue for one of my children and they are happy to give me a buzz to come and get them if need be. One of my children is really good at bunging it on and now we even have to make him stay in sick bay at school (when the teacher agrees) to get him to learn that no one is falling for it. We are trying to teach him a little about the boy who cried wolf as it is getting harder to know when something is really wrong.

#4 *Lib*

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:23 AM

That's what I am like, she's good!!!

#5 idignantlyright

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:27 AM

When I am trying to decide whether or not they are sick, I resort to saying "Okay, if you are really sick then you can go and lay in bed all day and just have crackers and plain stuff to eat."
Usually if they are chucking a sickie, about 15mins later they have a miraculous recovery.

#6 JustBeige

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:28 AM

Lib, I found that when they were younger they tended to do that more.   My DS didnt really like school until he was about 8, so he would have had every day off if he could have.

I did start the rule that if they are *sick* they have to stay in bed.  I find that this stops the mental health days as its no fun if you arent sick, staying in bed.  Oh, they arent allowed to watch TV, play wii or anything strenuous either.  

I know this isnt a popular EB opinion, but I think you need to make 'at work with mummy' days planned.  Ie: once a term if she doesnt chuck a sickie then she gets a day with you.   4 days off a year really isnt much and you can always cut back as they get older.   My boy only gets 2 a year now and the HS kid gets none.    Having these days hasnt hurt either of them academically.

Otherwise, make going to work with you boring as possible.

#7 amaza

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:34 AM

I thought DS1 was 'off' all last week so on Friday I tried to make him have the day off and he wasn't having a bar of it. That night I took him to the dr where his temp was over 40 degrees. It hasn't come down since. I actually did make him have yesterday (and today) off but he never ever chucks sickies and apparently goes even when he is sick too.

DS2 tells me he is sick and can't go to school at least 3 days a week. When he tells me something is wrong that I know he isn't making up I will let him have a day off, other than that he's told to get them to call me if he needs to. The other day he said the inside of his ear was hurting. He is 5 so it's not something that he would know to make up unlike the normal 'my belly hurts' statements.

I can usually tell but DS1 gets sick much less than DS2 so sometimes he is hard to gauge.

#8 melajoe

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:51 AM

DD1 has fooled me once.  DD2 and I had both had gastro in the days prior though, and DD1 woke up saying she had a sore tummy and then wouldn't eat her breakfast - she was very convincing.  I phoned work for the day off and we took DD2 to kindy (she had recovered from her bout of gastro by then), but as soon as we got home DD1 started saying she was hungry and then she spend the day running around and playing without any further complaint.  I could have taken her in and gone in to work late I suppose, but I was glad for the extra day off as I still wasn't 100% myself.

I think she just felt left out because DD2 is always sick with one thing or another and DD1 wanted some time at home with me to herself.




#9 ChunkyChook

Posted 27 November 2012 - 08:15 AM

DD is pretty good, she has only had 2 days off last term and 2 days off in term 2. Both times she was super sick with gastro, the first time I ended up posting on here because I was so worried and it resulted in a trip to Emergency.

She has tried once and I said she would be in her room, no tv, water and dry bikkies, only getting up to wee and she decided her tummy wasnt too bad afterall.



#10 whatnamenow

Posted 27 November 2012 - 08:41 AM

The one time i almost sent DD to school a really really regreted it.

DD woke up on a monday morning and said she felt 'tired and weak' I told her nice try and to get her uniform on.  8am rolls around i hand her her lunchbox she tries to grab it and doesnt have enough strength in her hand to grip her lunchbox.  Quick check over resulted in discovering she is weak down the entire left side of her body.  Queue race to hospital 4 day stay while they investigated clots or a bleed in her brain and weeks off school while she recovered.

It now takes alot for me not to give her the beneft of doubt and just let her stay home.

#11 Georgie01

Posted 27 November 2012 - 08:51 AM

QUOTE
When I am trying to decide whether or not they are sick, I resort to saying "Okay, if you are really sick then you can go and lay in bed all day and just have crackers and plain stuff to eat."
Usually if they are chucking a sickie, about 15mins later they have a miraculous recovery.


This is the rule in my house too - and they have very limited access to any electronic entertainment as well.

QUOTE
But we have a rule in our house that unless they are obviously sick, they have to give school a go


I do this too - they know they can call me if they really need to come home (and then they'll be put to bed with bread/crackers and water).

QUOTE
Generally they are running around fine by 9am.

If mine did that I'd take them to school. If I had to have them in the office (and it's very rare that I couldn't arrange a day off or work from home so have only done this once) I'd use the same rules as home - rest with bland food.

I just work with the idea that if it's no fun then they'll only stay home if they are actually unwell. If they are prepared to lie in bed eating the bland food and they aren't sick then I view it as they just really needed a mental health day (and I also check with the teacher to make sure there isn't anything else going on).


#12 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 27 November 2012 - 08:55 AM

I've had it go both ways.  There have been a few times when I've sent the kids to school thinking they were just trying to get a day off only to get a call later to say they are really sick and need picking up.

Other times I've let them stay home thinking they were generally sick, an hour later they are running around like lunatics, so I guess No I'm not so good at picking the real sick times.

Except for today, dd vomited on waking so is home form kindy today.

#13 mindy05

Posted 27 November 2012 - 08:58 AM

DD is 17 and has rarely had time off over the past 12 years. Since she started high school, she knows that if she misses a day she just has to make up the time, so she will invariably go to school sick, and catch up on weekends. Next year in VCE, she will have to have a doctor's cert for every day off, or get a stat dec signed.

DS rarely tries to get a day off. In fact, sometimes he has gone to school not well and been really bad the next day. I do usually make him try to have a sleep in the afternoon, though.

#14 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 27 November 2012 - 09:09 AM

QUOTE (mindy05 @ 27/11/2012, 09:58 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
DD is 17 and has rarely had time off over the past 12 years. Since she started high school, she knows that if she misses a day she just has to make up the time, so she will invariably go to school sick, and catch up on weekends. Next year in VCE, she will have to have a doctor's cert for every day off, or get a stat dec signed.

DS rarely tries to get a day off. In fact, sometimes he has gone to school not well and been really bad the next day. I do usually make him try to have a sleep in the afternoon, though.



Is this a school requisite or a parental one?

#15 adnama

Posted 27 November 2012 - 09:27 AM

DD has been doing this all year at school, telling them she feels sick she gets sent home and then she perks up. I have now told the office and her teacher she don't come home unless she is sick (ie. spews) I know mean, but I've lost count how many times she has fooled them.
I think there is something bigger going on but she won't talk. We kept her home last week she said she felt sick, we gave her benefit of doubt her brother had been sick and both DF and I felt a little off.

#16 Velvetta

Posted 27 November 2012 - 09:48 AM

I think some younger school age children do need "mental health" days off. I don't mind. Recently my 7 yr old has had 1 day off a week ever 2  or 3 weeks. It's as though he needs to recoup and have time alone with me. I can't take him to work with me - not allowed - so then I do force him to go to school with the proviso that the school can call me if he's in sick bay.

#17 *Lib*

Posted 27 November 2012 - 09:54 AM

QUOTE (Velvetta @ 27/11/2012, 09:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think some younger school age children do need "mental health" days off. I don't mind. Recently my 7 yr old has had 1 day off a week ever 2  or 3 weeks. It's as though he needs to recoup and have time alone with me. I can't take him to work with me - not allowed - so then I do force him to go to school with the proviso that the school can call me if he's in sick bay.

My DD gets really tired by then end of term, and I'd love to give her a mental health day, but the amount of time she has off during the term makes that undoable.

I work in the funeral industry so I can't just not turn up to work. We pride ourselves on continuity of care, and the families that we deal with find comfort dealing with the one person through the whole process.

I offered her a bribe this morning.

I told her that if she goes to school everyday in term 1 of 2013 she can choose something she really wants to do in the holidays and we'll do it.

She piped up with ice skating......so I am going to do up a chart with the school dates on it, and a picture of someone ice skating and she can cross the days off as they pass. If she is genuinely sick she can stay home come to work with me, but if its a 'sickie' the reward is gone.

#18 Milly Molly Mandy

Posted 27 November 2012 - 09:57 AM

We have the rule here that if you are gone sick you stay in bed all day. No tv. Both of them have had hideously boring days and haven't had fake sickies since.

It is hard to stick to and makes for a really long day but worth it in the long run

#19 WaitForIt

Posted 27 November 2012 - 10:12 AM

I chucked them all the time when I was 11. My parents had announced they were getting divorced and dad had moved out. Plus I hated school, not sure why, possibly because my BFF had moved away a year earlier and although I had other friends they weren't as close. And I had a huge crush on an 18yo at mums work.

I had to time my sick days though. Make sure it was on days my grandparents were busy (Wednesday's from memory). I also kept quiet with a book and occasionally complained through the day of feeling faint, nauseous etc. I was smart enough to keep the act up all day.

High school started the next year and I just stopped doing it. I guess I adjusted to the divorce, made some new friends and stopped hating school so much.

#20 Schatje21

Posted 27 November 2012 - 10:13 AM

I grew up with both parents having their own business - i had to have a temperature or be throwing up to stay home.
No TV all day - had to stay in bed and sleep.

If i was well enough to watch TV - i was well enough to go to school.
Needless to say, i didnt take many sick days at all as a child! original.gif

#21 vanessa71

Posted 27 November 2012 - 10:29 AM

My rule is that DD goes to school and if she's still 'feeling sick', the school can ring me and I will picker her up. I haven't had to pick her up yet.

My sister was a great one for pretending to be sick and unfortunately DD seems to be more like her than me. I've been through it all before, it's very hard to put one over me.




#22 mez70

Posted 27 November 2012 - 10:59 AM

well my DD you have to force to stay home at the best of times so if she complains then you can believe her.. DS1 we had huge issues with him being "sick" sadly he has learned the hard way about the boy who cried wolf. I sent him to school one day only for him to go down hill and school call me... a few hours later he was in ED with Pnuemonia........ (mind you he was not obviously ill and didn't even have a major cough etc so it caught teacher and myself totally by surprise)

A lot of his illness was anxiety related as he gets Asthma and Reflux which are both triggered by a lot of stress. Last year was really bad for this. However the issue was resolved somewhat this year (he was split from a few kids) so he is happy to be in class, he has a teacher who has really built his self esteem and challenged him to really push himself as well so his "sick days" have actually all been genuine this year... (he has even wanted to go when not feeling great)

With him I start the year by advising the teachers that he can feel sick when under stress etc and that if they use their Parent hat and make a call I will fully support it.....


#23 *Lib*

Posted 27 November 2012 - 11:03 AM

I threaten to send her to school no matter what, but I can't bear the thought of her genuinely feeling ill and mum not believing her sad.gif

#24 vanessa71

Posted 27 November 2012 - 11:08 AM

QUOTE (*Lib* @ 27/11/2012, 12:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I threaten to send her to school no matter what, but I can't bear the thought of her genuinely feeling ill and mum not believing her sad.gif


That doesn't concern me one bit. As I said, DD goes to school, she is aware of my rule, she knows that I can pick her up if she is sick, I have never had to, so if I let her stay home on the days she has tried to avoid going to school, she would be home the majority of the time.


#25 mez70

Posted 27 November 2012 - 11:19 AM

Ahhhh see that is your problem, not so much your child but how you feel..

Look there is nothing wrong with being caught out. We are all human and as long as you are accessable then it is fine. What your DD is ;earning is that she can manipulate YOU by playing on how you feel.

By making a line in the sand and saying well DD you have no temp, no cough, no vomiting or the runs so you can go to school, rest assured the school WILL ring if needed. She then learns that sometimes in life you have to do things you don't want even if you don't feel 100% I have often found with DS that once he is at school and focusing on everything else then his complaint disappears........

You will get caught out I can promise you that, but that is then when you do what I have to my DS and say well DD you so often say you feel ill when you are not that this is what happens, when you really do feel yuk people will think you are putting it on AGAIN... It only took that happening to DS a couple of times before he twigged and thankfully this year at age 10-11 he has been really good.......





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