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Just wanting to add one more
to our family

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#1 my4beautifulboys

Posted 26 November 2012 - 06:26 PM

Hi, both Dh and i are really keen to add one more to our family of 3 children. But sadly i have been having recurrent m/c, 3 now! Its very sad and frustrating as i had no trouble with my first 3 at all. Perhaps we'll have to settle for our beautiful three, which we would be happy with, but it would feel more complete if we could have one more. What am i going to do? Keep trying until we manage to have one more, as i am 40 years old now, so time is against me? :-)

#2 Roadie

Posted 26 November 2012 - 07:13 PM

Hi, I don't belong here but find myself checking in this section because like you I can't let go of the idea of one more. I recognized your user name because I had a m/c around the same time as you back in April. Like you, I also had three easy pregnancies with no trouble conceiving. However, since the m/c  my husband doesn't want to try again, I understand his reasons even if at times I wish he would change his mind. I,m hoping the desire lessens with time. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I understand how you are feeling.

Hi, I don't belong here but find myself checking in this section because like you I can't let go of the idea of one more. I recognized your user name because I had a m/c around the same time as you back in April. Like you, I also had three easy pregnancies with no trouble conceiving. However, since the m/c  my husband doesn't want to try again, I understand his reasons even if at times I wish he would change his mind. I,m hoping the desire lessens with time. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I understand how you are feeling.

#3 Mousky

Posted 26 November 2012 - 07:21 PM

Sorry for your losses OP.

You qualify to be investigated at the recurrent miscarriage clinic if you are over 32 and had 2 MC in a row or under 32 and had 3 MC in a row. Ask your GP for a referral. Alternatively, you can see a private ob. I had 3 in a row and saw a fabulous ob who specialised in miscarriage. PM me if you are in Melbourne and would like her details.

#4 my4beautifulboys

Posted 26 November 2012 - 10:22 PM

Hi Roadie, yes thats right i had my second m/c in april this year, and now here i am again, i cant beleive it. It's really hard on Dh's when it happens, it is a very traumatic time. I feel very lucky to have the three beautiful children that i have, that they are happy and healthy.  I can't help but feel a little saddened that i may not be able have one more, but i'm still very lucky. Thanks for replying to my post and best wishes to you with youre family, i hope you'll be able to feel better as time passes.

Hi Mousky, thanks for youre reply and thoughs. I live in W.a, but thanks for the thought. Prior to this m/c i actually saw a gyno and he did alot of different tests, bloods etc. And found nothing wrong, i was taking asprin, folate, iron, and multivitamins, as he advised, but sadly to no avail. I could see a specialist but that would mean travelling some distance to the city. I feel nervous to try again as i feel now that after 3 something isn't right.

#5 sophiasmum

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:58 AM

It really depends how much more you can take emotionally & whether your DH is on board.

I had a m/c between #2 & # 3, after that DH was ready to stop at 2 but he knew how much it meant to me to complete our family with 3 so he went along & we were lucky to have no more m/c. But I think if I'd had another m/c he would have definitely stopped.

All the best.

#6 my4beautifulboys

Posted 27 November 2012 - 05:34 PM

Thanks for youre reply and for sharing. I know it is very difficult decision to make, Dh and i would both love one more, but he doesnt like seeing me go through m/c as it is a very emotional time. I think he would be happy to try for one more, but it's hard not knowing if it will happen again. Also my age at 40 will make it difficult, as there is more chance of chromosonal disorders as you get older, which is probably contributing to my m/c.

Its a hard decision but i'm sure we'll come to the right decision in time.

#7 *angelmama*

Posted 30 November 2012 - 11:16 PM

Just wanted to wish you all the best. Making that decision, enough's enough, is a tough one.

If you do decide to keep trying I'd recommend seeing that specialist. I knew something wasn't right after so many m/c. My usual doctors kept brushing it off and it was only when I pushed for a 3rd opinion that we got an answer.


#8 my4beautifulboys

Posted 30 November 2012 - 11:40 PM

Hi angelmama, thanks for youre best wishes and for sharing, i'm so sorry that you had to go through m/c as well, its such a difficult time.

I did go and see a different gp just recently, he was actually my doctor that delivered my children, so i feel that he know's me and my history too, which is nice. He was very supportive of our decision to try again, and seems to think that it's just been bad luck for me. He explained that as you get older there is that risk of having chromosonal problems which can cause the pregnancy to fail inthe early stages.

I did ask him if i should see a specialist, he seemed happy that i have seen a gyno and had alot of tests done, so i'm feeling abit confused, should i request further testing or not now?

Best wishes to you for youre precious new baby due early next year.


Edited by my3beautifulboys, 30 November 2012 - 11:43 PM.

#9 The 7 Dwarfs

Posted 01 December 2012 - 12:52 PM

It would take me several m/c's to give up, but then I'm lucky enough to fall pregnant easy enough. I guess if it took me over 6 months each time and they were later into the pregnancy I would likely feel differently. Until 5 or 6 in a row, I'd probably just put it down to bad luck. My youngest DS was my 3rd attempt at #7.

#10 my4beautifulboys

Posted 01 December 2012 - 01:01 PM

hi The 7 Dwarfs, i love youre sig what a beautiful family you have. I know it quite is possibly bad luck, both Dh and i are keen to keep trying, hoping that this next time it will all go smoothly. I don't have any trouble conceiving, it usually happens is the first month or two, althought timing is abit difficult, as Dh works away on a roster shift, 9/5 days, so he's not home all the time. But we'll give it a few months and see what happens.

#11 Natttmumm

Posted 03 December 2012 - 02:52 PM

I know the feeling of wanting to add just one more - its a tough feeling that doesnt go away easily!  I thought Id share my story in case it helps you in anyway:

We wanted number three and tried for a few months - we did toss it up over a few months and both agreed yes we do want another one. Then we lost it at 7 weeks. It was very traumatic for us and DH was convinced we should stick with two (it was a third loss over the years). After a few months we decided to go and get all the tests we had many years ago after losing 2 and go and see the obyn and FS. Age was not a factor for me but after we had all the tests the FS said my eggs were aged much more than they should be.

With the obyn and FS being so supportive we decided one night that we would just  see what happens over time - it has taken at least 4 to 5 months to fall each time and that was with us timing (even used clomid for the first) so I kind of expected it wouldnt happen. we didnt time anything or even think about it. I had decided in myself that I was happy with 2 and would except that. Well that month I was pregnant unexpectedly. All was ok until a scare at 12 weeks which gave us a risk of downs. I then began to feel as though we should have been happy with two etc etc.

It was a shocking time for us - i felt guilty and DH was beside himself. Anyway we had an amnio and baby is fine  - now 30 weeks and it is only just now have i allowed myself to start to bond and prepare.

Its been a tough ride - but I wouldnt turn back now even if I could.  However, I know that whatever happens for us this pregnancy is the last and I am very sure of that. The feeling for one more for me is gone.

I think if you and DH are up for all the things that a new pregnancy can bring  - try again. good luck

#12 my4beautifulboys

Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:30 PM

Natttmumm, Oh thankyou so much for replying to my post and for sharing youre story. What a tough journey you've had, i'm so sorry its been like that for you, it's a very difficult time for the family to go through. It's very brave of you to try again and to finally fall pregnant straight away, that is wonderful, i'm sure you'll be blessed with a beautiful baby before too long.

I know when you do have a scare, as we did also after with my second m/c, it really makes you realise how precious the children you have are, and not a day goes by that i dont think how lucky i am. I really feel now that, and Dh does that we'll just see what happens, i would really love to add one more to our family, but i'm happy with my beautiful three if that's it.

Wishing you all for best for the arrival of youre new baby, and i hope you can relax and enjoy the rest of youre pregnancy - good luck x

#13 4Littleloves

Posted 04 December 2012 - 12:05 AM

I feel like I shouldn't comment op as I haven't experienced a miscarriage but I did have a few scares ..last pregnancy at 13 weeks and I am currently in hospital after a sudden early delivery with baby number 5 at 35 weeks.  I do understand your desire for another and I know how hard it is to not think of anything else once you decide to go again.  I understand that you know how blessed and grateful you are for the children you already have..and I know you are not taking the decision to have another lightly.  All I can say is I understand and you are not alone in wanting to feel complete with your family..I wish you all the best and I truly hope you are blessed with another xxx

#14 Sunshineandsmiles

Posted 04 December 2012 - 12:11 AM

Hi, Im also in wa and am pregnant after m/c and has the help of a gpWho specializes in fertility. I can pm u the details?

#15 my4beautifulboys

Posted 04 December 2012 - 12:27 AM

Hi 4LittleL that's ok thanks for youre reply and congratulations on youre new arrival, i hope all goes well for you. I know it is very tough and we are stuck in quite a rutt at the moment, it sometimes feels as though i'm going to continue having recurrent m/c?. But at the same time, i and Dh feel determined to try again, i'm sure it is possible to have one more. We'll just have to try and relax and enjoy things and see what happens.

Sunshineandsmiles, Thanks for replying, yes that would be great. My Gp feels that this time i'll be ok and doesnt seem to think i need to see a specialist, and that my m/c have just been bad luck. I feel that i should get a second opinion, in hope of having one more. I can receive Pm's but cant seem to reply to them, sorry.

#16 Natttmumm

Posted 04 December 2012 - 02:50 PM

Sounds like a good plan to just see what happens. I have learnt the lesson that in the baby department "whats meant to be will be". Most of the time there is nothing we can do to make things happen or go well.

I hope you and your DH are ok and you can find a way to get through this horrible time.
Take care

#17 *angelmama*

Posted 04 December 2012 - 11:02 PM

OP, it's entirely up to you whether or not you seek a 2nd opinion. If you have any niggling doubts that there is something wrong then getting the all clear from a 2nd opinion might help put your mind at ease, if nothing else.

I was just unfortunate to be in the 3-5% of recurrent miscarriers where there are genetic issues... and the previous doctors had missed this. Not a common situation.

Good luck.

#18 my4beautifulboys

Posted 05 December 2012 - 05:19 PM

Hi, thanks so much for youre replies and thoughts, yes both Dh and are ok thanks. We'll take our time and see what happens. I really dont know if i'll get a second opinion or not yet. I know that my age is against me (40) and the fact that i've had three children with no history of problems, lets me think that there cant be too much wrong. I really hope that we can complete our family and just have one more. x

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