Jump to content

Getting 4.5yr old DD assessed
not sure where to go


  • Please log in to reply
3 replies to this topic

#1 wca

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:15 PM

Hi Everyone,

I am at the point where I'm about the take the jump and have my 4.5yr old assessed. Well, at least talk to someone about her behaviour. I don't know who though. The GP? Someone gave me the number for Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service in my area but I'm not sure if thats the right route to go?
I already feel terribly guilty in wondering if she is 'normal' or not. Of course, DH thinks I'm over reacting but he doesn't see her the way I do. Looking back, I remember taking her to the GP as a baby because all she did was cry. Then I took her to the CYH nurse at 3 because I was having difficulty dealing with her behaviour. She sat and played with a car and the nurse pretty much said "Yep she seems ok to me" and that all 3yr old are challening. I felt a bit defeated and that it was all in my head. All our friends and family have, at some point, made comments in jest about how she is unique/in her own little world/quirky/hard work etc etc. But how do you know if your child is just a bit quirky or if there's something underlying? Her behaviour that concerns me is -

Hyperactivity, always fidgeting and doesn't often sit still
Always moving/jumping/hopping
Jumps around, on furniature, all the time
Is loud
Interrupts allthe time and gets right in your face to talk
Can be intentionally mean, will walk past her siblings and just whack them or kick for no reason
Doesn't seem to understand consequences to her actions
Can become obsessed with things. Last week it was moths.
Doesn't listen to me
Highly emotional
Cries ALOT
really clumbsy, always tripping/hurting herself
and a few other things that I forget now.

Her behaviour creates an anxiety in me, it's exhausting and mentally draining to live with. I'm naturally a pretty peaceful person and find it so hard to deal with her. I just want foru s all to be happy, especially her. Sorry, this had turned more into a vent/whinge than anything.

I would lvoe to hear from people who's have got to this point where your starting to think "I need help"

Anni xx (sorry for the typo's, was trying to type it too fast while the kids were distracted with snacks for a few mins)

Edited by wca, 26 November 2012 - 01:20 PM.


#2 baddmammajamma

Posted 26 November 2012 - 03:43 PM

Hi Anni:

I've actually *just* bumped a thread about this very topic (the importance of trusting your gut & following up re concerns about your child):

http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...;#entry15109427

You can also clink on the link in my signature to see why I am so passionate about this topic.

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so much with your daughter and that your concerns have been blown off by the medical professionals you've seen thus far.

I have a daughter who "has a lot of stuff going on" (ASD, ADHD, giftedness), yet if people only see her for one part of the day, they might not believe that she is as complicated as she is.

What has really been a lifesaver for me is having the guidance and direction from qualified professionals. I strongly recommend that you ask your GP for two referrals: (1) to a good developmental paediatrician, not a generalist one. These are specialist paeds who are experts in child development. They look across ALL aspects of your child's developmental profile - medical, cognitive, social, emotional -- to see if there are any issues or potential issues (2) a good child psychologist or behavioral specialist who can help you and your daughter develop better strategies for mitigating her challenging behavior. Often, you will see psychs and developmental paeds working in concert to address a child's needs.

Developmental paeds almost always have long waiting lists because the supply is far exceeded by demands. So, if possible, get to your GP as soon as possible -- and go ahead and book that appointment with the developmental paed before they close their books/offices for the holidays. I don't know where you live, but depending on the area, there might be some mums here who can offer recommendations (I have some great names in Sydney). The parents on the Special Needs/Disabilities board are often great resources for professionals. You might have better luck getting in to see a psychologist first -- so go ahead and get that ball rolling.

Good luck! As daunting as I thought the assessment processes would be, it is much better having answers about my daughter and some direction, rather than feeling in the dark and overwhelmed.

#3 ednaboo

Posted 10 December 2012 - 04:47 PM

Hi, just a quick reply as I should be cooking dinner (!).  My DS has just been diagnosed with ADHD.  The MCHN never noticed any issues (but she only ever saw him for short periods), and his 1st two teachers thought he was just troublesome.  He has been a challenging kid right from toddlerhood.   Because he was my first I figured he was at the outer end of the normal spectrum.  It was when a more experienced teacher identified that he was not doing as well as he should be at school that we decided to get an assessment.  As the PP said, you need someone experienced to work this stuff out.  You need someone who can be objective, and is familiar with the different issues that may be at play.  We chose to have him assessed by a (private) neuropsychologist.  You don't need a GP referral to see a psychologist.  Good luck!

#4 kabailz13

Posted 10 December 2012 - 04:56 PM

I have no advice but you described my 4yr to the letter!

She is extremely oppositional and regularly whacks her siblings (and kids at daycare) for no apparent reason.

Let us know how you get on original.gif




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Postnatal depression and the feelings that scare mums most

"I was shocked and horrified that I'd had this thought. That's not me."

A toddler’s step-by-step guide to avoiding bedtime

How many of these tactics does your toddler employ at bedtime?

Melbourne - get your FREE tickets!

Register now for your free ticket (valued at $20) for the Melbourne Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores.

The great toddler chase: every pregnant mum's nightmare

This is the funniest photo ever. We've all been there!

Would you do this to your baby in a carseat?

One mum looked that fear in the face and shared how important it is to think about adjusting the straps on our kids' car seats.

The secret to fitness after having a baby

It turns out that taking a more flexible approach might be the best way to make it happen.

Frustrated mum's genius plan to stop dinner time battles

Hands up who is sick and tired of cooking dinner for their kids every night only to have them complain about what's on their plate.

Photo shoot captures the dirty work of parenting

What do you do when you want a sweet maternity shoot but it just won't stop raining?

Could this simple thing help you avoid the 'baby blues'?

Researchers are now looking at whether the nutrients you ingest after giving birth can help reduce your likelihood of developing the baby blues.

We face more judgement than our mums did, study finds

We're judged more than our mums were - science says so.

As a mum, it's hard to ask for help. And that needs to change

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I started feeling ill a couple of days ago but battled on, as we do.

Why I don't care about your gender reveal

So you're having a baby? That's great, babies are awesome.

Dad's simple baby soothing hack

When this dad's baby wouldn't stop crying he took matters into his own hands. He also recorded what he did to let other people in on the simple hack and now it's going viral.

Husband gives birth after his wife was unable to fall pregnant

After his wife struggled to conceive, transgender man Chris Rehs-Dupin decided to give it a go.

10 things I thought about motherhood before I actually became a mum

Everyone is a parenting expert until they have kids – right?

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Win 1 of 10 awesome Peppa Pig prize packs

Who loves Peppa? We have 10 packs to give away - including family passes to see the brand new movie, in cinemas March 16!

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

28th - 30th April, 2017, Melbourne Royal Exhibition Building, Carlton. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

28th - 30th April, 2017, Melbourne Royal Exhibition Building, Carlton. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.