Jump to content

Getting 4.5yr old DD assessed
not sure where to go


  • Please log in to reply
3 replies to this topic

#1 wca

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:15 PM

Hi Everyone,

I am at the point where I'm about the take the jump and have my 4.5yr old assessed. Well, at least talk to someone about her behaviour. I don't know who though. The GP? Someone gave me the number for Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service in my area but I'm not sure if thats the right route to go?
I already feel terribly guilty in wondering if she is 'normal' or not. Of course, DH thinks I'm over reacting but he doesn't see her the way I do. Looking back, I remember taking her to the GP as a baby because all she did was cry. Then I took her to the CYH nurse at 3 because I was having difficulty dealing with her behaviour. She sat and played with a car and the nurse pretty much said "Yep she seems ok to me" and that all 3yr old are challening. I felt a bit defeated and that it was all in my head. All our friends and family have, at some point, made comments in jest about how she is unique/in her own little world/quirky/hard work etc etc. But how do you know if your child is just a bit quirky or if there's something underlying? Her behaviour that concerns me is -

Hyperactivity, always fidgeting and doesn't often sit still
Always moving/jumping/hopping
Jumps around, on furniature, all the time
Is loud
Interrupts allthe time and gets right in your face to talk
Can be intentionally mean, will walk past her siblings and just whack them or kick for no reason
Doesn't seem to understand consequences to her actions
Can become obsessed with things. Last week it was moths.
Doesn't listen to me
Highly emotional
Cries ALOT
really clumbsy, always tripping/hurting herself
and a few other things that I forget now.

Her behaviour creates an anxiety in me, it's exhausting and mentally draining to live with. I'm naturally a pretty peaceful person and find it so hard to deal with her. I just want foru s all to be happy, especially her. Sorry, this had turned more into a vent/whinge than anything.

I would lvoe to hear from people who's have got to this point where your starting to think "I need help"

Anni xx (sorry for the typo's, was trying to type it too fast while the kids were distracted with snacks for a few mins)

Edited by wca, 26 November 2012 - 01:20 PM.


#2 baddmammajamma

Posted 26 November 2012 - 03:43 PM

Hi Anni:

I've actually *just* bumped a thread about this very topic (the importance of trusting your gut & following up re concerns about your child):

http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...;#entry15109427

You can also clink on the link in my signature to see why I am so passionate about this topic.

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so much with your daughter and that your concerns have been blown off by the medical professionals you've seen thus far.

I have a daughter who "has a lot of stuff going on" (ASD, ADHD, giftedness), yet if people only see her for one part of the day, they might not believe that she is as complicated as she is.

What has really been a lifesaver for me is having the guidance and direction from qualified professionals. I strongly recommend that you ask your GP for two referrals: (1) to a good developmental paediatrician, not a generalist one. These are specialist paeds who are experts in child development. They look across ALL aspects of your child's developmental profile - medical, cognitive, social, emotional -- to see if there are any issues or potential issues (2) a good child psychologist or behavioral specialist who can help you and your daughter develop better strategies for mitigating her challenging behavior. Often, you will see psychs and developmental paeds working in concert to address a child's needs.

Developmental paeds almost always have long waiting lists because the supply is far exceeded by demands. So, if possible, get to your GP as soon as possible -- and go ahead and book that appointment with the developmental paed before they close their books/offices for the holidays. I don't know where you live, but depending on the area, there might be some mums here who can offer recommendations (I have some great names in Sydney). The parents on the Special Needs/Disabilities board are often great resources for professionals. You might have better luck getting in to see a psychologist first -- so go ahead and get that ball rolling.

Good luck! As daunting as I thought the assessment processes would be, it is much better having answers about my daughter and some direction, rather than feeling in the dark and overwhelmed.

#3 ednaboo

Posted 10 December 2012 - 04:47 PM

Hi, just a quick reply as I should be cooking dinner (!).  My DS has just been diagnosed with ADHD.  The MCHN never noticed any issues (but she only ever saw him for short periods), and his 1st two teachers thought he was just troublesome.  He has been a challenging kid right from toddlerhood.   Because he was my first I figured he was at the outer end of the normal spectrum.  It was when a more experienced teacher identified that he was not doing as well as he should be at school that we decided to get an assessment.  As the PP said, you need someone experienced to work this stuff out.  You need someone who can be objective, and is familiar with the different issues that may be at play.  We chose to have him assessed by a (private) neuropsychologist.  You don't need a GP referral to see a psychologist.  Good luck!

#4 kabailz13

Posted 10 December 2012 - 04:56 PM

I have no advice but you described my 4yr to the letter!

She is extremely oppositional and regularly whacks her siblings (and kids at daycare) for no apparent reason.

Let us know how you get on original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.