Jump to content

Getting 4.5yr old DD assessed
not sure where to go


  • Please log in to reply
3 replies to this topic

#1 wca

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:15 PM

Hi Everyone,

I am at the point where I'm about the take the jump and have my 4.5yr old assessed. Well, at least talk to someone about her behaviour. I don't know who though. The GP? Someone gave me the number for Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service in my area but I'm not sure if thats the right route to go?
I already feel terribly guilty in wondering if she is 'normal' or not. Of course, DH thinks I'm over reacting but he doesn't see her the way I do. Looking back, I remember taking her to the GP as a baby because all she did was cry. Then I took her to the CYH nurse at 3 because I was having difficulty dealing with her behaviour. She sat and played with a car and the nurse pretty much said "Yep she seems ok to me" and that all 3yr old are challening. I felt a bit defeated and that it was all in my head. All our friends and family have, at some point, made comments in jest about how she is unique/in her own little world/quirky/hard work etc etc. But how do you know if your child is just a bit quirky or if there's something underlying? Her behaviour that concerns me is -

Hyperactivity, always fidgeting and doesn't often sit still
Always moving/jumping/hopping
Jumps around, on furniature, all the time
Is loud
Interrupts allthe time and gets right in your face to talk
Can be intentionally mean, will walk past her siblings and just whack them or kick for no reason
Doesn't seem to understand consequences to her actions
Can become obsessed with things. Last week it was moths.
Doesn't listen to me
Highly emotional
Cries ALOT
really clumbsy, always tripping/hurting herself
and a few other things that I forget now.

Her behaviour creates an anxiety in me, it's exhausting and mentally draining to live with. I'm naturally a pretty peaceful person and find it so hard to deal with her. I just want foru s all to be happy, especially her. Sorry, this had turned more into a vent/whinge than anything.

I would lvoe to hear from people who's have got to this point where your starting to think "I need help"

Anni xx (sorry for the typo's, was trying to type it too fast while the kids were distracted with snacks for a few mins)

Edited by wca, 26 November 2012 - 01:20 PM.


#2 baddmammajamma

Posted 26 November 2012 - 03:43 PM

Hi Anni:

I've actually *just* bumped a thread about this very topic (the importance of trusting your gut & following up re concerns about your child):

http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...;#entry15109427

You can also clink on the link in my signature to see why I am so passionate about this topic.

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so much with your daughter and that your concerns have been blown off by the medical professionals you've seen thus far.

I have a daughter who "has a lot of stuff going on" (ASD, ADHD, giftedness), yet if people only see her for one part of the day, they might not believe that she is as complicated as she is.

What has really been a lifesaver for me is having the guidance and direction from qualified professionals. I strongly recommend that you ask your GP for two referrals: (1) to a good developmental paediatrician, not a generalist one. These are specialist paeds who are experts in child development. They look across ALL aspects of your child's developmental profile - medical, cognitive, social, emotional -- to see if there are any issues or potential issues (2) a good child psychologist or behavioral specialist who can help you and your daughter develop better strategies for mitigating her challenging behavior. Often, you will see psychs and developmental paeds working in concert to address a child's needs.

Developmental paeds almost always have long waiting lists because the supply is far exceeded by demands. So, if possible, get to your GP as soon as possible -- and go ahead and book that appointment with the developmental paed before they close their books/offices for the holidays. I don't know where you live, but depending on the area, there might be some mums here who can offer recommendations (I have some great names in Sydney). The parents on the Special Needs/Disabilities board are often great resources for professionals. You might have better luck getting in to see a psychologist first -- so go ahead and get that ball rolling.

Good luck! As daunting as I thought the assessment processes would be, it is much better having answers about my daughter and some direction, rather than feeling in the dark and overwhelmed.

#3 ednaboo

Posted 10 December 2012 - 04:47 PM

Hi, just a quick reply as I should be cooking dinner (!).  My DS has just been diagnosed with ADHD.  The MCHN never noticed any issues (but she only ever saw him for short periods), and his 1st two teachers thought he was just troublesome.  He has been a challenging kid right from toddlerhood.   Because he was my first I figured he was at the outer end of the normal spectrum.  It was when a more experienced teacher identified that he was not doing as well as he should be at school that we decided to get an assessment.  As the PP said, you need someone experienced to work this stuff out.  You need someone who can be objective, and is familiar with the different issues that may be at play.  We chose to have him assessed by a (private) neuropsychologist.  You don't need a GP referral to see a psychologist.  Good luck!

#4 kabailz13

Posted 10 December 2012 - 04:56 PM

I have no advice but you described my 4yr to the letter!

She is extremely oppositional and regularly whacks her siblings (and kids at daycare) for no apparent reason.

Let us know how you get on original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tot meets his heroes, falls apart with excitement

Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.

Beautiful in our eyes: Georgia's story

I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.

'It's been phenomenal': widower dad of quads thankful for support

There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.

Vin Diesel names daughter after actor Paul Walker

The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.

How midwives can help women who experience domestic violence

More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.

Mum describes giving birth during Cyclone Pam

A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.

6 signs you're done having babies

There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.

Marta Dusseldorp reveals breastfeeding cost her an acting job

Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.

Female celebs (or their babies) with traditionally male names

Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.

'If you're anti-immunisation ... take a look at this picture of my son'

Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.

How an extrovert can raise an introvert

Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.

Sheryl Sandberg's advice

'Choreplay': Help out at home to get more sex, Sandberg tells men

Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.

How to play with your baby

The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.

I'm a single mother by choice

For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.

Awkward wedding photos

Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.

Four-week-old baby Riley Hughes dies of whooping cough

The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Oh boy! Video shows family's reaction to baby surprise

Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.

How to help build up your baby's immune system

We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?

'Nick, you need to call an ambulance': home birth mum's tragic death

A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.

When dads believe their baby doesn't 'like' them

Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?

When was the last time a stranger praised your parenting?

Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

15 names on the verge of extinction

If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.

5 characteristics of great dads

It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.

Why doesn't Australia have more breast milk banks?

When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?

Carrie Bickmore announces birth of daughter

Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.