Jump to content

Getting 4.5yr old DD assessed
not sure where to go


  • Please log in to reply
3 replies to this topic

#1 wca

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:15 PM

Hi Everyone,

I am at the point where I'm about the take the jump and have my 4.5yr old assessed. Well, at least talk to someone about her behaviour. I don't know who though. The GP? Someone gave me the number for Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service in my area but I'm not sure if thats the right route to go?
I already feel terribly guilty in wondering if she is 'normal' or not. Of course, DH thinks I'm over reacting but he doesn't see her the way I do. Looking back, I remember taking her to the GP as a baby because all she did was cry. Then I took her to the CYH nurse at 3 because I was having difficulty dealing with her behaviour. She sat and played with a car and the nurse pretty much said "Yep she seems ok to me" and that all 3yr old are challening. I felt a bit defeated and that it was all in my head. All our friends and family have, at some point, made comments in jest about how she is unique/in her own little world/quirky/hard work etc etc. But how do you know if your child is just a bit quirky or if there's something underlying? Her behaviour that concerns me is -

Hyperactivity, always fidgeting and doesn't often sit still
Always moving/jumping/hopping
Jumps around, on furniature, all the time
Is loud
Interrupts allthe time and gets right in your face to talk
Can be intentionally mean, will walk past her siblings and just whack them or kick for no reason
Doesn't seem to understand consequences to her actions
Can become obsessed with things. Last week it was moths.
Doesn't listen to me
Highly emotional
Cries ALOT
really clumbsy, always tripping/hurting herself
and a few other things that I forget now.

Her behaviour creates an anxiety in me, it's exhausting and mentally draining to live with. I'm naturally a pretty peaceful person and find it so hard to deal with her. I just want foru s all to be happy, especially her. Sorry, this had turned more into a vent/whinge than anything.

I would lvoe to hear from people who's have got to this point where your starting to think "I need help"

Anni xx (sorry for the typo's, was trying to type it too fast while the kids were distracted with snacks for a few mins)

Edited by wca, 26 November 2012 - 01:20 PM.


#2 baddmammajamma

Posted 26 November 2012 - 03:43 PM

Hi Anni:

I've actually *just* bumped a thread about this very topic (the importance of trusting your gut & following up re concerns about your child):

http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...;#entry15109427

You can also clink on the link in my signature to see why I am so passionate about this topic.

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling so much with your daughter and that your concerns have been blown off by the medical professionals you've seen thus far.

I have a daughter who "has a lot of stuff going on" (ASD, ADHD, giftedness), yet if people only see her for one part of the day, they might not believe that she is as complicated as she is.

What has really been a lifesaver for me is having the guidance and direction from qualified professionals. I strongly recommend that you ask your GP for two referrals: (1) to a good developmental paediatrician, not a generalist one. These are specialist paeds who are experts in child development. They look across ALL aspects of your child's developmental profile - medical, cognitive, social, emotional -- to see if there are any issues or potential issues (2) a good child psychologist or behavioral specialist who can help you and your daughter develop better strategies for mitigating her challenging behavior. Often, you will see psychs and developmental paeds working in concert to address a child's needs.

Developmental paeds almost always have long waiting lists because the supply is far exceeded by demands. So, if possible, get to your GP as soon as possible -- and go ahead and book that appointment with the developmental paed before they close their books/offices for the holidays. I don't know where you live, but depending on the area, there might be some mums here who can offer recommendations (I have some great names in Sydney). The parents on the Special Needs/Disabilities board are often great resources for professionals. You might have better luck getting in to see a psychologist first -- so go ahead and get that ball rolling.

Good luck! As daunting as I thought the assessment processes would be, it is much better having answers about my daughter and some direction, rather than feeling in the dark and overwhelmed.

#3 ednaboo

Posted 10 December 2012 - 04:47 PM

Hi, just a quick reply as I should be cooking dinner (!).  My DS has just been diagnosed with ADHD.  The MCHN never noticed any issues (but she only ever saw him for short periods), and his 1st two teachers thought he was just troublesome.  He has been a challenging kid right from toddlerhood.   Because he was my first I figured he was at the outer end of the normal spectrum.  It was when a more experienced teacher identified that he was not doing as well as he should be at school that we decided to get an assessment.  As the PP said, you need someone experienced to work this stuff out.  You need someone who can be objective, and is familiar with the different issues that may be at play.  We chose to have him assessed by a (private) neuropsychologist.  You don't need a GP referral to see a psychologist.  Good luck!

#4 kabailz13

Posted 10 December 2012 - 04:56 PM

I have no advice but you described my 4yr to the letter!

She is extremely oppositional and regularly whacks her siblings (and kids at daycare) for no apparent reason.

Let us know how you get on original.gif




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

'I will defend my son's right to wear a tutu'

Three-year-old boy Roo likes to wear tutus and, until now, it hasn't been a problem.

Chinese sign up toddlers for chief executive classes

CHILDREN as young as three are being enrolled in "chief executive courses" in China as pushy parents become obsessed with giving their offspring an advantage over their young peers.

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

The 'best little baby' and the police officer who rescued him

"And just in my head, I'm a father myself, and I couldn't sit there and let him ... I couldn't let him sit in that."

Olympian sells medal to pay for child's cancer treatment

An Olympian has sold his medal to help fund cancer treatment for a 3-year-old boy.

Family of mum who took her own life speak out about PND

From the outside it looked like Allison Goldstein was blissfully happy. She had a new baby, a loving husband, and was part of a close knit-family.

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

BuggyCart solves the dilemma of shopping with a pram

Ducking to the shops for some groceries is a whole other ballgame once you have a baby.

Viral photo shows powerful moment before second baby's arrival

While our second baby was very much wanted, I wondered if I could love another baby as much as I loved my first.

What does a baby with whooping cough sound like? Sometimes like this

It's a heartbreaking video that's difficult to watch, but that's just what Sydney mum of two Sandra wants people to do.

Cheers! Why we're all happy to be bad mothers now

A new generation of mums is resisting the pressure to be "perfect" - and revelling in their naughty side?

Dealing with mealtime fussiness: mums share their tips

It can be frustrating, worrying, and turn into a battle of wills - but it doesn't have to be like that

Why having a puppy is like parenting a child

Despite being a dog owner and a parent, I've never been able to relate to the idea that the two have many similarities – until now.

Baby Joey is sleeping star in adorable photos

When photographer mum Laura Izumikawa puts her baby daughter down to sleep, the last thing on her mind is rest.

The necessity of 'Do not disturb' signs for napping babies

Needless to say, the last thing any mum wants is for someone to loudly knock on the door and wake their sleeping cherub.

Mum's brutal truth about c-section: 'This is not the easy way out'

A new mum has shared photos of her caesarean section scar to prove she did not "take the easy way out" when giving birth to her son.

Twins give birth in same hospital just hours apart

Leanne went into labour on July 28, and remarkably, her twin sister Natalie soon followed.

Goki Ride-On cars for toddlers

Toddlers just love to ride on anything with wheels but will often reject the pram once they can walk.

Letting your health slide as you look after the kids? Here's how to get out of the trap

It's time to start prioritising our own health, as well as the health of our children, to avoid longer lasting health challenges.

How to child-proof every room in your house

A guide to making your home a safer place for little ones.

Portable pool safety reminder after toddler's death

The drowning of a Hobart toddler has prompted a coroner to remind the community that even inflatable and portable pools must be fenced.

I have a clingy toddler - help!

"Nothing stops the clinginess - he cries when I put him down, no matter how long I hold him."

Woman sues after botched termination leads to motherhood

A 23-year-old mother is suing her GP and the public health system for thousands of dollars to support her son after her termination went wrong.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

Ex-Perth model stuck with 12kg leg after limb doubles in size during pregnancy

"I often have strangers coming over to me when I'm out asking bluntly what's wrong with my leg. I often just laugh now and tell them I've been attacked by a shark and walk off, it definitely stumps people."

Same sex couple 'blessed' with triplets via surrogacy

They feared they would never get to be parents, but a same sex couple is now adjusting to life with newborn triplets.

Should children be given antibiotics in their first year?

Here are the the pros and cons of giving antibiotics to young babies.

Baby born on mum AND dad's birthday

The birth of a baby is always a special occasion, but one couple who welcomed their first child earlier this week had more reason to celebrate than most.

The joys (and benefits) of show and tell

Show and tell has been around for donkey's years. Well, at least since I was a kid, and according to my own children, I'm pretty old.

Loyal dog dies saving baby's life during fire

A baby was rescued from a house fire after her family's loyal dog used his body to shield the little girl from the flames.

How having a young baby or toddler changes your home decor

What to expect when living with an older baby or toddler - and how to manage the chaos.

I'm trying to keep my child-free friends in my life, but it's tough

I tried to prove to my single friends that I was the same I'd always been. But marriage did change me - and motherhood has, too

'There's a giant picture of BOOBS but I can not feed my child'

A mum was ushered out of an US department store's underwear section after discreetly breastfeeding her baby.

How baby Evelie was saved after being born without a heartbeat

Bethanie Millar didn't believe in miracles - until baby Evelie was born, that is.

How an Aldi staff member made one exhausted mum's day

It was a simple act of kindness, but one that made an exhausted mother's day.

OvuSense: the new internal monitor helping predict ovulation

When a couple is trying to conceive it is easy for a woman to become obsessed about when she ovulates.

Mum-to-be surprises husband with big news in joy-filled photoshoot

When Bri Dow learnt that she was expecting, she immediately knew she wanted to break the news to her husband Brandon in a special way.

How a homemade wheelchair is giving baby Evelyn freedom

Like all one-year-olds, Evelyn Moore is keen to get moving and explore the world around her. But a battle with aggressive cancer left the little girl paralysed from the waist down.

Adorable: App captures special moments of pregnancy and motherhood

There's something about motherhood that turns even the most reluctant photographer into a keen shutterbug as they strive to capture all the best moments of life with a baby.

Dad shares horror tale after Roomba's run-in with dog poop

It's the poop story that's been shared hundreds of thousands of times around the world.

 

SYDNEY SHOW - 23-25 Sept

Essential Baby & Toddler Show - Sydney

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores, will be held in Sydney on 23-25 September. Register for your free ticket now to save $20!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.