Jump to content

Would you ever berate a parent in public?
For the way they were talking to their child?

  • Please log in to reply
157 replies to this topic

#1 GoneWithTheWhinge

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:02 PM

As per the title really
Would you say something to a stranger about the way they were talking to or disciplining their child?
Just wondering after an incident I saw today

#2 idignantlyright

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:07 PM

Yes, I have.
I told the woman whose kids catch the bus with DD8yrs that if I ever saw or heard of her hitting her kids again, that I would call the police.
Probably explains the reason she stopped chasing her youngest down the street, when the child got near me. When the child got on the bus she was screaming at her mum that she was never going to see her again.

#3 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:07 PM

In all honesty, I probably wouldn't have the guts to say anything. sad.gif

#4 protart roflcoptor

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:08 PM

This has been done to death here.

And without more details who knows? The answer is;"it depends".

#5 Fr0g

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:09 PM

I'd like to say "Yes, every time, absolutely" but sadly, no.  

I watched a 'father' kick his 11 year old son in the calf muscles yesterday.  His crime?  I don't know, he was sitting down crying, eating a carrot and 'father' took exception to his son's tears.  This was at a sporting event.

I didn't say anything.  So many other parents saw it, everyone shook their heads but not a thing was said.  

#6 *LucyE*

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:09 PM

Generally, no I wouldn't.

#7 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:09 PM

No, none of my business (unless I saw actual abuse, if I saw abuse I would report it).

#8 adl

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:10 PM

Saw a similar topic on Can of Worms....answer was most would disapprove but would not say anything unless very severe and more likely to call police than get involved themselves which is probably what I old do...


Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:19 PM

I wouldn't berate them, but I may have a gentle word with them, dependent on the situation. I wouldn't want to make things worse for the kids.

#10 bakesgirls

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:22 PM

QUOTE (GoneWithTheWhinge @ 26/11/2012, 01:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
As per the title really
Would you say something to a stranger about the way they were talking to or disciplining their child?
Just wondering after an incident I saw today

It really depends on the circumstances, but most likely not. I don't know what has happened to the lead up of the child being spoken to or disciplined. I don't know the full story.

People have different ideas as to what constitutes inappropriate discipline and/or manner of speaking. I know people who thinks it's bad parenting to tell your kid off, that everything must be spoken about in a calm rational manner at all times.

TBH, if some random came up to me and told me off for speaking some 'stern words', I'd tell them to go jump, and that's putting it politely.

#11 BVB09

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:26 PM

You don't really give us much to go on OP  ! Can you tell us a little more ?

I agree with PP, depends on the circumstances and what the child did.

#12 Oriental lily

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:27 PM

If I thought the child was being physically abused ( being beaten, not a smack) I would ring the police.

Not for verbal abuse though, not sure how much it would achieve other than to be abused and threatened yourself.

It makes me incredibly sad but I am pretty sure verbal abuse is not a crime.

#13 idignantlyright

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:31 PM

QUOTE (Oriental lily @ 26/11/2012, 02:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If I thought the child was being physically abused ( being beaten, not a smack) I would ring the police.

Not for verbal abuse though, not sure how much it would achieve other than to be abused and threatened yourself.

It makes me incredibly sad but I am pretty sure verbal abuse is not a crime.

You may find that in cases of minors, they may find a reason to do something about it.

#14 Peggybrown

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:47 PM

I didn't berate at all, but in a large shop I have once told a man I would call the police if he did not stop hitting his child. Unbeknownst to me, at the same time someone else had gone to get security. It was an awful experience to see this poor child cowering on the ground and I have often wondered how she is and what the outcome of the incident was.

#15 Cranky Kitten

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:51 PM

I don't know if you'd call it berating but I have had a go at a parent at a park - I'd already politely asked him to keep a closer eye on his son who'd been playing roughly with babies a lot younger than him, pushing them and trying to sit on top of them. He resumed paying more attention to his phone than his kid and was 50m or so away when said child took it upon himself to raid my pram, grab a toy and run off. So I yelled at the father to come and get his son and return the toy after having the child completely ignore my gentle request that he return it.

I probably wouldn't have gone off at him had he not grumped and carried on about having been interrupted in his ever so engrossing task of playing with (not talking on) his phone.

Generally though, I'd like to think I have the guts to step in and say something if I saw a parent beating a child, but coudn't be certain.

#16 la di dah

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:58 PM

I know my mother once got badly beaten (peeing blood) over saying something - not really berating anybody - but telling him he needed to stop or she'd call the cops.

There's a point where, yeah, I'd get involved. I can fight better than my mom can, for one. And there comes a point where I'd rather take the whupping than not have said anything. Besides I'd probably have legal recourse at that point.

But I probably wouldn't for verbal abuse, honestly, unless it was a specific threat. "You are in so much trouble" no "when i get you home" no, not even "you little [expletive deleted]" or whatever.

I kind of feel like it has to be imminent danger and also maybe have a chance of actually getting the kid out of a bad situation not just make me feel better for airing that I think people who give wee children Monster and then call them "b**ches" are gross.

Oh yeah and worth me possibly spending the rest of the day in the ER.

#17 ShimmerBug

Posted 26 November 2012 - 01:58 PM

It really depends on the circumstances. It would have to be pretty drastic for me to say something, I'm afraid. Can you share some more information OP?

#18 SuboptimallyPooks

Posted 26 November 2012 - 02:00 PM

Not berate, no. I sometimes strike up a conversation with the parent *if* I think it's safe to do so. If it is severe enough, I would call police or security or whatever. A few times when working in retail, I've asked parents not to allow dangerous things to happen. Putting their baby in a plastic shopping basket on the automatic conveyor belt is one that springs to mind. Allowing their child to climb up the displays and throw things at customers (carers were laughing) is another. Not screaming at people is another. One time I got a manager to call the police for a woman and managers waited with her, her husband was being verbally abusive and they had approached him ask him to stop. I asked her quietly to the side if she was ok and she said "no, help me". She was covered in bruises and her children looked scared. I've run over to people to go "oops, watch out" or something if they have bent over with a baby in the bjorn and it looks like they will fall out. So yeah, there are totally times to speak up.

#19 TheMuriels

Posted 26 November 2012 - 02:32 PM

Yes, I would say something most of the time, because I think it's important for kids to know they're not alone and that other adults do care what happens to them.

#20 MaeGlyn

Posted 26 November 2012 - 02:43 PM

I did. One of my neighbors was beating up his 12 year old step-kid into the fence and telling him it was because his real daughters were always in his room playing on his computer. He was also verbally abusing him. It made me really angry, he was a 12 year old who was being beaten for being a good brother.

I gave him a piece of my mind in a polite way and told him if he didn't stop abusing this child, I would call the police. His response was to bring his wife and to beat my doors and then go over to the male neighbor across the road, beat him up and move out the following week and his step-son didn't have an abusive dad anymore as they broke up.

I did it because it was a good moment, as it would have shocked him living next to quiet me for 6 months listening to the yelling ect, he respected me a bit for some reason, I come from a family like this : ( and I could lock my doors and windows and be safe while he was going baresko. I wasn't hurt because of luck and it went well. I would recommend making sure you are safe and not doing this unless there is a solid door. Calling the police is better.

Edited by MaeGlyn, 26 November 2012 - 02:49 PM.

#21 ChunkyChook

Posted 26 November 2012 - 02:50 PM

Never said anything to a parent but by god did I give it to someones child one day!! To say I was ropeable at the time is an understatment!!

#22 Ally'smum

Posted 26 November 2012 - 02:53 PM

I have never seen anything where the parent would need to be pulled up on their behaviour but I have called the police when I saw someone holding a baby on their lap in the front seat of the car.

If I felt I would be threatened by the parent I would probably film it rather than approach them, then hopefully that would be useful.

QUOTE (ChunkyChook @ 26/11/2012, 02:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Never said anything to a parent but by god did I give it to someones child one day!! To say I was ropeable at the time is an understatment!!

Actually I have done this a few times at the park and at play centres.

#23 glasnost

Posted 26 November 2012 - 03:01 PM

QUOTE (ChunkyChook @ 26/11/2012, 03:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Never said anything to a parent but by god did I give it to someones child one day!! To say I was ropeable at the time is an understatment!!

See, I never get this. What on earth were you trying to achieve by "giving it" to a child whom you have presumably never met? Aren't we supposed to be the adults i.e. the ones in control of our anger?

#24 Freddie'sMum

Posted 26 November 2012 - 03:07 PM

Having been at the receiving end of one man's tirade against me - it makes you feel like stink.

I took our girls to McDonalds - to get something to eat but more importantly to let off steam by playing on their playground.

It was our moving day - we had been living out of suitcases for the past 3 days - we had arrived to our new (empty) house and was told that the moving company was running about 2 hours late.

I offered DH that I would take the girls to McDonalds to fill in a bit of time.

When it was time to go - I yelled up to the playground - "c'mon girls it's time to go".

Then when they came down and Miss (then) 6 was mucking about putting her shoes on - and I told "please try and put your shoes on, you can see I am helping your sister with her shoes"  - Mr Grumpy Old Fart pipes up:

"I'm glad you are not my mother"

I didn't even register that he was talking to me, I was engrossed in getting their shoes on and to back to our new (empty) house.

So, he repeats it.

"I'm glad you are not my mother"

Then I register that he is talking to me - and a complete random stranger is passing judgment on my parenting skills.

I was not swearing at my kids, I was not abusing them in any way, if I sounded tired and cranky it was because we moving house and I was stressed.

At this point, Miss (then) 4 clung to my leg and said "I love you Mummy".

I can't remember what I said back (if anything) but I do know that his comments made me feel like the absolute worst mother in the world.

So, IF you are going to put YOUR 2 cents worth in - be damn sure that the parent (usually mother) is actually doing something wrong, I sure as hell WASN'T and this git decided to make sure everyone in the McDonalds playground thought that I was.

#25 mini mac

Posted 26 November 2012 - 03:09 PM

QUOTE (Madame Catty @ 26/11/2012, 11:10 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I really don't see it would do any good if I did.  It's not like the parent is going to have a 'light bulb' moment due to anything I said.

But maybe, depending on the circumstances.

Agree. Chances are they won't change habits just because some stranger got on a high horse. Unless it was worthy of calling the cops, its probably not worth interfering

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Essential Baby & Toddler Show Brisbane (4-6 March). Register online now to save $20!

Newborn baby found in a nativity scene

Police are trying to trace a woman who abandoned a baby boy in the manger of a church nativity scene.

Life would be harder without my kids

The Humans of New York Facebook page is well known for sharing touching, real stories from one of the world's biggest cities – and it's just hit the heart of parents everywhere.

Mum dresses as Wonder Woman for last day of chemo

A Brisbane mum dressed up as a superhero to celebrate the end of her chemotherapy and created a moment her family will remember forever.

How a raisin can predict a toddler's IQ

All you need to assess a child's future intelligence is a plastic cup and a raisin, according to new research.

Former Hi-5 member's cannabis hope

Former Hi-5 star Tim Harding hopes a cannabis-derived drug will help control his daughter's epilepsy, which sees the four-year-old suffering between 50 and 100 seizures a day.

The top 5 reasons your toddler throws a tantrum

Whilst to the outside world little people may appear to have it easy, it's actually not always the case – just ask any toddler who's had their toast cut up the wrong way.

Glenn McGrath thought he'd lost his wife and baby

Australian cricket ledged Glen McGrath has spoken about the moment he thought he might lose his wife, Sara and their baby daughter, Madison.


Inside my Centrelink nightmare

Mother Bec Smith has been trying for months to access Centrelink payments. A "serious error" is preventing her.

Warnings over push for hourly childcare billing

Australia's peak childcare body has called for caution around the Turnbull government's push for childcare centres to charge parents by the hour, not by the day.

Cate Blanchett thought about adopting for years

Cate Blanchett says her recent adoption of a baby girl had nothing to do with wanting a daughter after having three sons.

Kate Walsh: 'I can't have kids'

Grey's Anatomy star Kate Walsh has revealed she is unable to have children because she has experienced early menopause.

The parasite that could boost fertility

The Tsimane women of Bolivia are often revered as among the most fertile in the world - on average having 10 children in their lifetimes -- but some are even more fertile than others.

Family may sue cousin over genetics

A Melbourne couple is suing the Royal Children's Hospital for failing to diagnose a genetic disorder in their first child - an error they allege caused them to have another child with severe disabilities.

Strange things mums have done in labour

While most women in labour focus on the upcoming birth of their baby, some women do more interesting things.

Michael Clarke reveals baby's name

When Michael Clarke said he was wrapped around the finger of his little princess, he wasn't joking.

The logistics of breastfeeding twins

Our life is more or less divided into neat four hour parcels of time and it's hard to get much of anything done in the time between feeds.

How to stop people ruining Christmas

We can make a conscious effort about how we react to those curly Christmas day scenarios that can send us up the wall, or should we say chimney.

Lots of formula offers for desperate mum

The mum who was down to her last three tins of baby formula said she had received hundreds of calls and offers to send her formula.

Surviving breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Cot sheet brands for the nursery

With so many awesome cot sheet options these days, we thought we'd put together a list of go-to brands for you to seek out for your baby's bed.


What's hot on EB

How I survived breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Grieving father's letter to Bataclan terrorists: "...this little boy will threaten you by being happy and free"

A grieving father whose wife was killed in the attacks on the Bataclan Theatre last weekend has written an open letter to her killers.

5 challenges of motherhood - and how to see them differently

Despite the smiles, the sloppy kisses and the pure magic children bring to our lives, it's hard to deny that motherhood can be tough.

4 challenges of being a new dad - and how to face them

Becoming a parent is challenging – and that applies to both mums and dads.

My battle against antenatal and postnatal depression

I was five months pregnant when I realised I needed help.

Children swapped at birth will not be returned to biological parents

A boy and girl accidentally swapped on the day they were born will stay with the families who have raised them, a South African court has ruled.

A quarter of men believe they get 'man periods'

A British study has revealed one in four men believe they have a monthly cycle.

Baby deposit

How much do you need to save for a 'baby deposit'?

It's fairly straightforward to calculate a house deposit, but how much money do you need to save up for a baby?

Dad's beautiful note to his wife, a nurse

To anyone else it might just look like a picture of a mum having a nap with her toddler.

'I was a complete schmuck': Mike Baird opens up about his wife's postnatal depression

When his wife Kerryn was not well following the birth of their daughter, NSW Premier Mike Baird buried himself in his work.

Mum's desperate plea as whooping cough alert issued

A desperate mother has shared a heart-breaking video of her baby struggling to cope with a coughing fit caused by pertussis.

Coffee could help you live longer

New US research found people who report drinking three to five cups of coffee a day are less likely to die prematurely from heart disease, suicide, diabetes or Parkinson's disease.

The joy and dread of playdates

To live vicariously through your child is to rediscover anxieties you thought dead and buried.

Sick baby could die without scarce special formula, mum says

Lizzie Cann is down to her last three tins of a special formula in short supply.

Adorable toddler's strop foiled by squeaky shoes

We're probably all familiar with the pouty bottom lip and tightly crossed arms of a tot mid-strop.

More sex during World Cup created more baby boys

More sex during South Africa's World Cup meant a disproportionately high number of boys were born nine months later, a new study has found.

ABC Shop perfect for Christmas gifts

What a boon it would be to have your toddler's Christmas gifts covered this year. We have two awesome ABC Shop prize packs to give away to two lucky winners.

Do fitness challenges really work?

Fitness challenges aren't new. There's Michelle Bridges 12WBT and a bunch of other programs if you really want to lose weight.

What are pregnant women Googling?

Pregnancy is a huge change for any woman, so it's natural we'll have questions - and turn to Google to ask them.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.