If you knew you were going to die "soonish"...
, Nov 25 2012 11:01 PM
8 replies to this topic
Posted 25 November 2012 - 11:01 PM
So, suppose you are terminally ill, and you have a couple of kids under 8-10 (so, can't tell them, and can't let them decide and have no money lmao)...
What sort of things would you put on your bucket list? What would your priorities be? Would you be more prone to setting up their education and stuff, or would you rather blow it all on a good time that they will remember forever?
Just musing... I don't know that I like the idea of waiting until I'm 70 to have a bucket list... just in case.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 11:08 PM
For me it wouldn't be about anything but creating lasting fun memories with my kids and taking loads of photos and video. Assuming the dad is still alive I would create a video for each child for special birthdays like 16th, 18th, 21, engagement, wedding that that watch at those times. Maybe a little money for each from super if possible.
I think memories for them would be more important than going skydiving or activities for just me.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 11:18 PM
I think if I was really in that situation (as opposed to just musing about it), the idea of a bucket list would mean very little to me. I'd just want to spend all the time I could cherishing my family and making memories with them. And - as the PP said - recording videos and writing messages for the kids.
A friend lost her dear little boy (two years old) just two months ago, and that profound loss has inspired me to make real changes next year. I'm cutting my DD back to two days of daycare, I've turned down two jobs and cutting back on my existing work. My priorities are going to be different
Posted 26 November 2012 - 12:47 AM
My sister in law found out that her cancer had returned and was incurable just before Christmas 2 years ago. She told no one, not even her husband.
She took her family away to a small country town for Christmas where they relaxed, read stories together and were just together iykwim. Three weeks later, she was bedridden and passed away at the end of April 2011.
Her 4 kids and DH have those menories of long, hot days relaxing in hommacks, reading together and just "being" to hang onto.
I would want to do something similar ...
Posted 26 November 2012 - 09:19 AM
Please tell me you're not talking about yourself L?
I'm not sure what I would do - I wouldn't have money to spend on a bucket list anyway, so I guess I would just focus on spending time together and making memories, as a PP said.
But I think it's one of these situations where you can't really say for sure unless it happens to you.
Posted 26 November 2012 - 05:13 PM
This better be a hypothetical....!
Posted 26 November 2012 - 11:17 PM
I had a great reply before but EB went all wonky on me...
Hmm... My life expectancy has declined, yes. But it's not complicated so much as no one knows anything... There's no reason to worry yet. There IS reason to start thinking about it. My EDS is causing complications that have no cure - but as it's so rare... no one knows "how long". Could be 12 months, could be 15 years, maybe even longer. Could live until I'm 90... Who knows? I've been "stable" for three months now, so that is great news
For the time being, I'm fine. So don't worry
I just ... I don't want to get really sick and then think "I should have done this while I could" you know? And the thought of it all - I just cry and can't think, so I was hoping for some ideas
I like the country town/reading idea
That sounds great!
Posted 26 November 2012 - 11:37 PM
I'm so sorry, OP.
I was hoping this was just hypothetical. And I'm glad that it still is, in a way.
But I do still think that the main thing is time. Just make sure you spend the best, quality time with your kids that you can.
My parents used to do a monthly 'thing' with each of us. Such as, in January, Dad did something with me, and Mum did something with my brother, then the next month Mum did something with me etc.
The 'things' were simple, I remember Dad taking me to the movies and Mum taking me to a ballet. Dad took my brother to an airshow. Things like that. But we both still remember those experiences - vividly! Even though we were only really young. I don't remember most of the stuff they bought me, I remember the things we did. I remember Dad making me a balance beam in the backyard and helping me practicing balancing because the PE teacher said I was a bit of a klutz. I remember Mum taking me out of school early because it was such a hot day that she thought I'd like to go swimming
These are the things that kids remember, these are the things that made my childhood a happy one.
Gosh, this has all inspired me now! Thanks, OP. I'm going to spend the Christmas break thinking of ways I can intentionally 'hang out' with my kids and give them experiences to remember. The reality is, health problems or no health problems, none of us know how much longer we have.
Posted 27 November 2012 - 06:56 AM
Edited by Chchgirl, 27 November 2012 - 04:56 PM.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
It’s mixed in amongst garbled baby talk, but this 10-week-old's apparent attempt at telling her parents that she loves them has made her an internet star.
To say I became obsessed is something of an understatement. Everywhere I went I found cause to be reminded of my impending pain.
One mum says joy is very a personal feeling and expecting all new mums to feel it in the months after their baby born may do more harm than good.
Blogger Kiran Chug explains why she is going to let her toddler make more decisions for himself.
The Silverton family has heard the phrase "it's a girl" for the first time in four generations.
In future when someone I care for, or even someone I barely know, is experiencing a difficult time, I will not overthink it. I'll follow my heart.
Jac Bowie is the founder of Business in Heels, one of the fastest growing women’s networking events in Australia. She shares her story, including how she juggles work with a young family, and ways to work smarter.
Being a mum of identical twin boys stirs up great interest and fascination. It also opens itself up to nosy, invasive questions, as well as huge assumptions.
A mother-of-five who calls her two youngest sons "miracle babies" is just one of many mums seeking financial compensation for their children's unplanned conceptions.
It's a gorgeous song to begin with, but this dad's version of Hallelujah, sung for his young daughter, is especially touching.
While starting solids can be frustrating and messy (yet also fun!), introducing solids can also play havoc on tiny digestive systems.
A mother whose newborn baby was snatched from hospital has spoken of her joy and relief at getting her daughter back.
Are bumpies - bump selfies - really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind"?
Acknowledging that motherhood isn't a bed of roses – to begrudge lack of time, sleep, money and spontaneity – is sacrilegious and a no-no, especially by mother superior-types.
A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.
Fill out this quick survey and tell us in 25 words or less your best pregnancy or parenting tip - you'll go in the draw to win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher.
Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.
While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.
Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.
Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.
I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.
When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.
As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.
Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.
Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.
Are bumpies really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind", as one writer has claimed?
We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)
We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.