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If you knew you were going to die "soonish"...

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#1 weekendsrule

Posted 25 November 2012 - 11:01 PM

So, suppose you are terminally ill, and you have a couple of kids under 8-10 (so, can't tell them, and can't let them decide and have no money lmao)...

What sort of things would you put on your bucket list?  What would your priorities be?  Would you be more prone to setting up their education and stuff, or would you rather blow it all on a good time that they will remember forever?

Just musing...  I don't know that I like the idea of waiting until I'm 70 to have a bucket list...  just in case.

#2 #YKG

Posted 25 November 2012 - 11:08 PM

For me it wouldn't be about anything but creating lasting fun memories with my kids and taking loads of photos and video. Assuming the dad is still alive I would create a video for each child for special birthdays like 16th, 18th, 21, engagement, wedding that that watch at those times. Maybe a little money for each from super if possible.

I think memories for them would be more important than going skydiving or activities for just me.

#3 roses99

Posted 25 November 2012 - 11:18 PM

I think if I was really in that situation (as opposed to just musing about it), the idea of a bucket list would mean very little to me. I'd just want to spend all the time I could cherishing my family and making memories with them. And - as the PP said - recording videos and writing messages for the kids.

A friend lost her dear little boy (two years old) just two months ago, and that profound loss has inspired me to make real changes next year. I'm cutting my DD back to two days of daycare, I've turned down two jobs and cutting back on my existing work. My priorities are going to be different  original.gif

#4 ~ky~

Posted 26 November 2012 - 12:47 AM

My sister in law found out that her cancer had returned and was incurable just before Christmas 2 years ago. She told no one, not even her husband.

She took her family away to a small country town for Christmas where they relaxed, read stories together and were just together iykwim. Three weeks later, she was bedridden and passed away at the end of April 2011.

Her 4 kids and DH have those menories of long, hot days relaxing in hommacks, reading together and just "being" to hang onto.

I would want to do something similar ...

#5 JJ

Posted 26 November 2012 - 09:19 AM

Please tell me you're not talking about yourself L? ohmy.gif

I'm not sure what I would do - I wouldn't have money to spend on a bucket list anyway, so I guess I would just focus on spending time together and making memories, as a PP said.

But I think it's one of these situations where you can't really say for sure unless it happens to you.

#6 Cherish

Posted 26 November 2012 - 05:13 PM

This better be a hypothetical....!

#7 weekendsrule

Posted 26 November 2012 - 11:17 PM

I had a great reply before but EB went all wonky on me...

Hmm... My life expectancy has declined, yes.  But it's not complicated so much as no one knows anything...  There's no reason to worry yet.  There IS reason to start thinking about it.  My EDS is causing complications that have no cure - but as it's so rare... no one knows "how long".  Could be 12 months, could be 15 years, maybe even longer.  Could live until I'm 90... Who knows?  I've been "stable" for three months now, so that is great news original.gif

For the time being, I'm fine.  So don't worry original.gif  I just ...  I don't want to get really sick and then think "I should have done this while I could" you know?  And the thought of it all - I just cry and can't think, so I was hoping for some ideas original.gif  I like the country town/reading idea original.gif  That sounds great!

#8 roses99

Posted 26 November 2012 - 11:37 PM

I'm so sorry, OP.

I was hoping this was just hypothetical. And I'm glad that it still is, in a way.

But I do still think that the main thing is time. Just make sure you spend the best, quality time with your kids that you can.

My parents used to do a monthly 'thing' with each of us. Such as, in January, Dad did something with me, and Mum did something with my brother, then the next month Mum did something with me etc.

The 'things' were simple, I remember Dad taking me to the movies and Mum taking me to a ballet. Dad took my brother to an airshow. Things like that. But we both still remember those experiences - vividly! Even though we were only really young. I don't remember most of the stuff they bought me, I remember the things we did. I remember Dad making me a balance beam in the backyard and helping me practicing balancing because the PE teacher said I was a bit of a klutz. I remember Mum taking me out of school early because it was such a hot day that she thought I'd like to go swimming  wink.gif  These are the things that kids remember, these are the things that made my childhood a happy one.

Gosh, this has all inspired me now! Thanks, OP. I'm going to spend the Christmas break thinking of ways I can intentionally 'hang out' with my kids and give them experiences to remember. The reality is, health problems or no health problems, none of us know how much longer we have.

#9 Chchgirl

Posted 27 November 2012 - 06:56 AM


Edited by Chchgirl, 27 November 2012 - 04:56 PM.

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