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#1 JMZ

Posted 25 November 2012 - 09:14 AM

Hi Everyone

This is the first time I have ever posted on a forum but I just feel I want to put my story out there as I feel so alone right now....

June this year I gave birth to Cooper at 39 weeks - he had passed away two days before that and he was born still.

I have been going to a great kinesiologist and I have been working hard to cope with such a tragedy- I am the healthiest and fittest I have ever been- so after 5 months we tried again and first month I fell pregnant- which made me feel happy and scared at the same time.

Last wednesday I started bleeding and yesterday I got confirmation I have miscarriaged.
I believe my body just wasn't ready.

I have a gorgeous 3 year old boy (his pregnancy and birth both were perfect)  is my rock but I so want to have more children and I'm starting to feel this is not in the cards for me - I keep thinking whats going on- whats wrong with me- why can't I have my happy ending when so many I know have had children without a problem!

#2 flyingfree

Posted 25 November 2012 - 09:50 AM

I am so sorry your precious little man Cooper couldn't stay here with you and you are going through more heartache of a miscarriage.

I do know of quite a few ladies who have had a stillborn baby, miscarried their next pregnancy and gone on to have a bay afterwards so please don't give up on your dreams of becoming a mum again yet.

Unfortunaely this is a lonely journey but there are some amazing women here who can help you through this time, I would of been lost without the support of these ladies.

#3 Froger

Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:45 AM

So sorry about little Cooper, and about your more recent miscarriage. I do think your thoughts are entirely normal though, about wondering why you can't have another child, when so many other people seem to be able to do so without any trouble. I had a baby girl stillborn, quite along time ago now. I had similar thoughts at the time, especially about the unfairness of it all. It is unfair!

I am wondering though about the kinesiologist. Do you mean applied Kinesiologist? In any case, no matter the sort of kinesiologist I'm not sure that a Kinesiologist is going to be particularly helpful with pregnancy issues (although to be fair I know nothing about kinesiology, so I'm not sure what they do). But if it was me I would more be thinking along the lines of seeing an OB who is a specialist in pregnancy loss. While it could just be pure chance that you had a stillbirth and miscarriage, there are many things that can cause recurrent pregnancy loss, which I honsetly think an OB is better placed to assist you with, rather than a kinesiologist. Unfortunately being fit and healthy does not necessarily help with preventing pregnancy loss if, just as an example, it is caused by an auto immune disorder or some such thing. Only a medical doctor can help diagnose this sort of thing.

My best wishes to you. I hope you get the answers you seek. However, unfortunately there also may never be any answers for you as to why you lost your precious baby.

Edited by SarahM72, 25 November 2012 - 10:52 AM.

#4 zingy

Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:56 AM


Reading your post makes my heart hurt and I am so sorry that Cooper could not stay here with you.

We lost our little Hayden in August, he was born at 29 weeks and I had a 'botched' emergency csection which resulted in him having a brain bleed. He stayed for 5 days and then we had to say goodbye.

On Friday night I was googling about a 2UE radio presenter who also lost his bub in August (a friend mentioned his story to me) and I came across the following;


I read the article and then if you scroll down the bottom (to the comments section), there are 400 comments (stories) from many different women, all who have experienced the loss of a baby. They tell their stories and I found it very comforting to read them. I sat at my computer for 3 hours, crying and reading all the stories. Mia and Bec, who wrote the article are compiling a book with all these stories in it so that women like us can read about others experience and feel like we are not alone.

I decided to add my own comment and it made me start writing about my experience. I didn't include everything that I wrote but it made me feel a lot better to write it all down.

Please know that you are not alone.

I know it feels like you will never get your happy ending at the moment but you have to keep believing that you will.  hheart.gif

#5 jobo77

Posted 25 November 2012 - 04:47 PM

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your baby boy Cooper. My baby boy was stillborn at 21 weeks just over 5 years ago now and my next pregnancy ended with a blighted ovum requiring a D&C. I remember feeling angry and disappointed that we had to go through another loss of our dreams and hopes when everyone else around me seemed to be able to just have babies with no problem. It was and is very unfair.
I fell pregnant again after my D&C about 2 months later and went on to have a gorgeous girl who is now 3. My pregnancy after her resulted in my little boy who is now 20 months old  original.gif
Another good friend of mine whose son was stillborn at 36 weeks also had an early m/c after that before going on to deliver 2 healthy babies.
I wish you all the best and know you are not alone in how you feel.

Edited by jobo77, 25 November 2012 - 04:48 PM.

#6 JMZ

Posted 25 November 2012 - 07:48 PM

QUOTE (jobo77 @ 25/11/2012, 04:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your baby boy Cooper. My baby boy was stillborn at 21 weeks just over 5 years ago now and my next pregnancy ended with a blighted ovum requiring a D&C. I remember feeling angry and disappointed that we had to go through another loss of our dreams and hopes when everyone else around me seemed to be able to just have babies with no problem. It was and is very unfair.
I fell pregnant again after my D&C about 2 months later and went on to have a gorgeous girl who is now 3. My pregnancy after her resulted in my little boy who is now 20 months old original.gif
Another good friend of mine whose son was stillborn at 36 weeks also had an early m/c after that before going on to deliver 2 healthy babies.
I wish you all the best and know you are not alone in how you feel.

Thanks for all your replies- I'm sorry for all your losses too- I wish this didn't happen to anyone.... Jobo77 what gave you the courage to try just 2 months after your mc- weren't you scared your body wasn't ready and it might happen again?

#7 jobo77

Posted 25 November 2012 - 08:09 PM

To be honest I don't remember ever feeling like my body wasn't ready - we waited the 1 cycle my ob advised but it was my overwhelming desire to have a successful outcome that just kept me motivated to keep going. I look back now and part of me thinks I was a bit insane about it all really but it was all I could think about at the time - getting pregnant again and having a healthy baby at the end of it. I had to have a stitch in my cervix and bedrest to get there but I did it. I was absolutely TERRIFIED through both of my subsequent pregnancies (especially with my DD) that it would happen again - the 1st trimester my ob had me in weekly for scans just to try and reassure me even though of course we could not influence the outcome at that stage. 2nd trimester was spent having surgery with the stitch, then 3 weeks of bedrest in hospital which truly was the most terrifying time of my life as I wondered if today would be the day my cervix would give way and I would lose her. Gosh, making me teary remembering that time even after 3 years  sad.gif 3rd trimester as my mind went into overdrive about other ways I could lose her due to my increased knowledge of these things from all my reading and new friends made who had lost their babies, my ob told me to focus on what I COULD control and that was such a good piece of advice for me at the time. I started to look at the nursery, research breastfeeding and other "normal" things which was nice.
Anyway, sorry for my long reply there! Hopefully some of that helps answer your question  original.gif

#8 ~ky~

Posted 26 November 2012 - 12:13 AM

I too am so sorry to hear that Cooper and your little one couldn't stay ...

My story is one of 6 pregnancies and seven babies. My first was a twin pregnancy where I had a little girl born too early and went on to have my beautiful 11yo daughter. I then had my gorgeous 9yo son two years later. Then it all seemed to go to hell. I thought I had "paid my dues" with losing my precious little girl.

7 years ago, I lost a little boy due to having pneumonia which landed me in icu and meant he passed away. Nearly 5 years ago, my little girl, Ruby, was born with complex congenital heart disease. After 4 open heart surgeries, she passed away at 9 days old. 4 years ago, I had another little girl born early and sleeping due to premature rupture of membranes.

At that point, we decided to focus on our two living children. It was an agonising decision to make and we grieved that decision almost as much as we grieved our four precious babies.

Last year, I had a surprise pregnancy. I was terrified and so incredibly anxious the entire time. It wasn't until my little girl was 10 days old that I felt I could breathe.

Little Anna has been exactly what our entire family has needed to begin healing. My older kids delight in her. She's a bright, bubbly, strong willed little girl who is confident that all around her, adore her! My DH and I know that she is exactly what our hearts needed.

Your heart must be so raw at the moment. It doesn't seem fair that some of us are dealt such blows whilst others seemingly have children with no problems and don't appreciate them. I have no explanation nor words of wisdom - all I can do s agree that it is definitely not fair!

Take care and take hope that there are others who understand and will never judge you for how you feel.

Edited by ~ky~, 26 November 2012 - 12:14 AM.

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