Picking up strangers...
, Nov 25 2012 06:58 AM
31 replies to this topic
Posted 25 November 2012 - 06:58 AM
So last night, I was doing a Maccas dessert run through the drive through (around 10pm), and just as I'd finished ordering, a young guy (probably around 20ish), quite intoxicated I think, ran up and shouted "I'll give you $10 if you drive me to [insert nearby suburb]!"
Surprised, a bit shaken, and instantly having thoughts of ending up dead in a ditch, I declined and quickly drove through to the next window...
Now, in all good sense, he was probably just a young guy who had a few drinks and wanted to get home, and possibly the $10 wouldn't have been enough for a taxi (??) and I woke up this morning thinking to myself how terrible it would be if something had happened to him, when I could have quite easily taken him home (although our sundaes would have melted).
To be honest, while it was a completely different situation, one of my first thoughts were of Jill Meagher, and how easily a situation can turn bad. My logic says I did the right thing, and one should not drive strange men around, even for $10. I just think about my sons being grown up one day, stuck somewhere with not enough cash for a taxi, and hoping someone helps them.
Of course, I also hope they don't randomly run up to strangers in the maccas drive through to get help.
Would you give a stranger a ride home? Or am I possibly a little paranoid and untrusting in my old age?
Edited by Filulah, 25 November 2012 - 06:59 AM.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 07:02 AM
Absolutely not! Never! If they decided to go out and drink the it is their responsibility to make sure they can get home safely.
I would never put my children's mother in a position that could potentially end very badly
Posted 25 November 2012 - 07:04 AM
No no no no no
Thinking about my son, I would like to think he would have the sense to call me if stranded
Posted 25 November 2012 - 07:13 AM
No. I have little sympathy for drunk people and it's simply not worth the personal risk.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 07:16 AM
You did the right thing, there is no way of you knowing if it would have been safe or not.
Had it been a woman, I think I would still feel the same.
In regards to my own children, I will make sure they pre plan how they will get home. Also make sure they know it's always ok to call me for a lift.
Edited by GrumpyTurtle, 25 November 2012 - 07:18 AM.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 07:17 AM
Not a drunk person no. But I have picked up strangers before. I've given a lift to a lady who frantically flagged me down at a bus stop - she'd missed the bus and was going to be late for work - it was only 5 mins away. I've also picked up a hitch-hiker before.
I hitch-hiked when I was young - so if I think they look reasonable, I take a chance. Sometimes people genuinely need help.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 07:27 AM
With first aid training, the first thing they tell you is NOT to help someone if it puts you at an unreasonable risk.
The same thing goes for helping others more generally.
Generally in this kind of situation, I try to identify another source of support for the person involved which is not risky for me. For instance, I might suggest calling a taxi, or asking them if there is someone I can call for them to come and pick them up.
But there is nothing wrong with feeling a bit surprised by the approach of a drunk stranger, and politely declining the request.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 07:29 AM
In that situation? No. But I have offered, and given lifts to elderly ladies waiting at our old bus stop. The bus was never on time and if it was raining or really hot, I'd pull over and ask if I saw them there.
I'd have offered it to elderly men, too but never seemed to see any at that stop.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 07:32 AM
Nope would never pick them up. If I thought that they were truely in need I would offer them a bit of money for a Taxi but I wouldn't pick them up myself.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 07:33 AM
No I wouldn't. My DH might though, if he assessed the situation as safe for him, he has before.
If I feel I can't adequately protect myself should it go bad, then no. I have given strange (as in stranger - not 'strange'
) little old ladies lifts home because they missed the bus. I felt safe.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 07:33 AM
When I was about 18 I was very drunk and had just had a fight with my boyfriend , he kicked me out of the car and I had nothing ( he had my phone and handbag) I was lucky to have a nice taxi driver pick me up and drive me home. I always think about that night it was scary being stranged with nothing.
I maybe would asked if he was ok, and given him some taxi money. (but I am a sucker)
Posted 25 November 2012 - 07:36 AM
With his $10 he can call a friend to pick him up. You did the right thing.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 08:05 AM
Edited by *magenta*, 02 January 2013 - 11:11 AM.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 08:09 AM
You did the right thing...
If somebody was distressed with no way of getting home and you were in a public and safe area, if you wanted to help them you could offer to phone somebody they know to pick them up (if they don't have a mobile), but you should never let a stranger into your car.
Or if you are worried about their welfare you could call your local police station and let them know, then they can decide whether to go there to help the person.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 08:15 AM
The drunk do very stupid things.
I remember being 17, and had been stranded on the side of a busy road by one of my friends, who was in the house we were outside of doing nasty things with her BF. So here I am, standing there, drunk, with his mates (that I don't know). I have cigarettes but no lighter so I was trying to flag down cars to get one. Stupid, stupid stupid.
I didn't think it at the time, but I was INCREDIBLY lucky when the one that pulled over and said "GET IN THE CAR" was my father on his way home from shift work. Incredibly lucky. Grounded, but lucky.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 08:19 AM
Probably not in the situation you described. I have picked up intoxicated young women walking home alone along the highway at night. I have also given a young man a lift in daytime to the nearest town who was stuck beside a broken down car towing a boat with 3 young boys and their Dad. He was their uncle. It could have been an elaborate hoax but that seemed highly unlikely. I have also picked up backpackers on long road trips but always when I have had a friend or my husband with me.
I totally understand when people have a blanket no-lifts rule but I am a bit flexible.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 08:23 AM
Edited by *magenta*, 02 January 2013 - 11:09 AM.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 08:30 AM
No i wouldn't. I'm too much too paranoid.
My grandparents however will pick up strangers. There was a shady man they picked up one time, he was dirty and greasy and trying to hitchhike. He asked to be taken to the service station on a 42 degree day, get petrol and then back to him car where his kids and partner were waiting. I always think of that and how I wouldn't have trusted him and he just needed to get back to his family.
Drunk guy in his 20's and me on my own. Nope I wouldn't. If I was in the restaurant and came up to me, I'd probably call a taxi for him.
Edited for clarification.
Edited by SophieBeagle, 25 November 2012 - 08:31 AM.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:19 AM
I tend not to pick up hitch hikers, but I did pick up a guy a few months back, I initially thought it was an older lady and it was only at the last inute I pulled over, he had a sign for the same town I was going to 3 hours up the road. We talked the whole way, it was a very interesting trip and it turns out he knew people I knew and our paths had crossed before.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:26 AM
I would not have given him a lift.
The only time I can remember giving a lift is just recently when DH and I were both in the car and we saw a 20ish girl struggling along on crutches on a hot day. We stopped to ask if she needed a lift and drove her a few km to the shopping centre.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:26 AM
It's not your responsibility to look after people who drink without arranging how they will get home.
If somebody looks like they are genuinely stuck I would rather give them money for a taxi but I would never give them a lift. I always think back to someone I know who was murdered after hitching a ride....so I never, ever want to get in a car with a stranger.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:27 AM
I live in an area where hitch hiking is the norm so I probably would.
Me and three friends once went to a wedding and got fairly drunk, went to leave the reception and there was no cars taxis or friends to drive us home.
We were outside the closed venue, heels off in hand, starting to walk home. A car pulled up and offered us a lift. It was a 17yr old P plater! He drove us home, walked us to the door, and sat in his car till we were inside.
I guess it all depends on where you live.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:39 AM
I don't pick up strangers as don't have a car and don't drive much.
My DH on the other hand always seems to get approached to give people lifts.
The most recent one DH had just gotten fuel from our local shops and was heading to pick up our DS from his then carer. A lady at a bus stop flagged him down and was waving her mobile phone at him. She begged him for a lift to the train station (opposite direction) because her daughter was being beaten up (DH said he could hear a commotion on the phone), DH dropped her off.
Another time before DH and I lived together a girl in the flats across the road asked him for a lift to college.
Another time DH and I had stopped off at a petrol station on the way home from a gig and I went in to pay. When I came back there was a strange man sitting in the car. I was a bit "wtf" but the man had asked DH for a lift home after filling his Jerry can up.
I have endless stories of DH driving people home, so far he hasn't run into any psychos.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:40 AM
A friend and I gave a young drunk guy a lift home once, but only because he was in the middle of the road trying to stop the traffic for a lift! We were worried he was going to get himself killed.
I wouldn't do it these days, and I certainly wouldn't do it on my own.
Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:56 AM
Yeah I probably would have depending on the guy. Judgemental I know, but if he didn't look scary I'd tell him to jump in.
I think it depends where you live too. Melbourne and Geelong I probably wouldn't. Ballarat, Bendigo I probably would. Castlemaine, Daylesford, Rochester, Maryborough I'd do it in the blink of an eye.
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