Jump to content

23 yr old. Facebook. 15 yr old. UPDATE


  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 pencil

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:53 PM

I'm trying to decide if I should call the police or not. My 15 yr old has been talking to a 23 yr old on FB. I am very unhappy about some of the things said. Nothing blatantly obscene, but inappropriate things considering the ages.

I did call this guy and got nowhere. So I left it as a simple. "I'm reporting to police now"

I'm just not certain. I don't need more drama for DD who is having a rough time, but obviously this is not on. I have taken her laptop and phone and she is basically grounded indefinitely, though I have said it is not so much because she did something wrong, but because I need to keep her safe. (if that makes any sense)

I bloody hate facebook.

Edited by pencil, 26 November 2012 - 03:27 PM.


#2 JRA

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:54 PM

Firstly, does the 23yo know the 15 yo is 15?

Do you know the 23yo is 23?



#3 Expelliarmus

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:55 PM

I don't know, because it's hard to know without knowing what this person has said. I think you had best call the police so they can help you decide if it is a problem.

#4 Ianthe

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:59 PM

Well that would be goodbye facebook in this house for a start.

#5 pencil

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:01 PM

It is goodbye Facebook! But I have to tread carefully because she'll be 16 soon, and I don't want a full rebellion on my hands!

QUOTE
Firstly, does the 23yo know the 15 yo is 15?

Do you know the 23yo is 23?
Yes and yes. Absolutely, without a doubt.

#6 WaitForIt

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:02 PM

QUOTE (pencil @ 24/11/2012, 05:53 PM)
15105215[/url]']
I'm trying to decide if I should call the police or not. My 15 yr old has been talking to a 23 yr old on FB. I am very unhappy about some of the things said. Nothing blatantly obscene, but inappropriate things considering the ages.


Could be grooming. Call the police, there might be nothing they can do but they might flag him and keep an eye on him.

#7 Sunshineandsmiles

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:02 PM

Yep def let police know.

#8 Ianthe

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:02 PM

I really don't know what the police could do. They've just been talking right?

#9 Expelliarmus

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:03 PM

If he has been grooming her, it's an offence and they can do something. Hence call the police and they can help OP decide if it is grooming and take it from there.

#10 Expelliarmus

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:05 PM

OP, you could use this link http://www.thinkuknow.org.au/kids/grooming.asp
and use the report button to contact the appropriate unit in the Federal Police.

#11 Julie3Girls

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:36 PM

I'd probably be hesitant to actually remove facebook at that age - you are likely to get a fair bit of objection, and the likelihood of her simply going behind your back.

Instead, I would be blocking/defriending etc the 23yr old. And continuing to very closely monitor her facebook.
Doesn't hurt to contact the police and see if they think there is anything that should be done.


#12 WaitForIt

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:13 PM

QUOTE (howdo @ 24/11/2012, 06:03 PM)
15105238[/url]']
If he has been grooming her, it's an offence and they can do something. Hence call the police and they can help OP decide if it is grooming and take it from there.


Wow I didn't know grooming was illegal I assumed they'd have to wait u til something concrete happened. Thank goodness it is! OP please report it, it's not just about your daughter but everyone's daughters. He might be talking to her friends too.


#13 Chelli

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:21 PM

I don't think there is anything to lose by contacting the police and filing a report. It may turn out there is nothing they can do in this case, but it may also turn out that your niece is not the only under aged girl this person is grooming.

All the best, it would be a stressful situation.

#14 mychubbybubbies

Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:25 AM

I would contact the police. It will scare him and let your daughter know how serious you are. I would also be as open and honest as possible with her so she knows she can come to you no matter what.

#15 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:35 AM

As a parent I completely agree that contacting the police is a good plan.

As a very headstrong and wayward 15yo who was similarly grounded and banned from talking to my 16yo boyfriend because we had sex ... I moved out 4 months later, just after my 16th birthday. Needless to say the following few years were very, very bad and I'm very, very lucky.

Do whatever it takes to keep your daughter with you and trusting you.

Good luck sad.gif

(I didn't have FB or a computer)

#16 whitelights

Posted 25 November 2012 - 01:59 PM

I think deleting Facebook completely might make her rebel and make one behind your back and then if something similar or even worse happens in the future, she might not feel she can't talk to you because she's not 'meant' to be on FB.

I'd be reporting it and then starting to heavily monitor her account.The police will probably have suggestions on what to do when you report it.

#17 Tiger Lilly

Posted 25 November 2012 - 02:23 PM

I think the safest idea is to block him on facebook and report to the police.

Removing facebook entirely will just see her go behind your back.

Get her to watch the movie called Trust - you watch it first though.

Movie - Trust

#18 pencil

Posted 26 November 2012 - 03:26 PM

Update.

Went to the police, DD had to come with me. The policewoman called it grooming, took a statement from DD, took all details, etc.

There is not enough evidence for them to actually charge the guy with anything, but information will be sent out, as well as they will be running checks on him, particularly his online activity. Hopefully he gets caught for something.

DD won't be getting her internet or phone back anytime soon. She understands why. She'll get her (heavily culled) FB back when I feel more confident in her decision making!

PP, we are watching Trust tonight. Policewoman recommended it too.

I informed the school as well.



#19 Rhoxie

Posted 26 November 2012 - 11:23 PM

What a close call! Can I ask how she came to friend him on facebook and how you found out about the situation ?
(as a mother of one teen and one soon to be teen I'm rather worried)

#20 Ducky*Fuzz

Posted 26 November 2012 - 11:30 PM

That's a great response from the police!  I'm glad your daughter understands.

#21 Tiger Lilly

Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:58 PM

OP - how did you go with watching Trust?




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tot meets his heroes, falls apart with excitement

Two-year-old Quincy finished his potty training last week, and as part of his reward he was able to meet his idols.

Beautiful in our eyes: Georgia's story

I will never deny the fact that grief has a place when you give birth to a child who brings a set of circumstances very different to what you imagined. Because for nine months, I thought I knew my Georgie.

'It's been phenomenal': widower dad of quads thankful for support

There was nothing Erica and Carlos wanted more than a baby.

Vin Diesel names daughter after actor Paul Walker

The actor said there was "no other person" he was thinking about when he chose the name.

How midwives can help women who experience domestic violence

More than half of women who live with abusive partners experience violence during pregnancy.

Mum describes giving birth during Cyclone Pam

A new mother was told she must flee Port Vila hospital with her baby as Cyclone Pam bore down.

6 signs you're done having babies

There were a few signs I'm never going back to the land of maternity jeans, breast pumps and bassinets.

Marta Dusseldorp reveals breastfeeding cost her an acting job

Australian actress Marta Dusseldorp has revealed she was forced to withdraw from a Sydney Theatre Company production because a director did not approve of her breast feeding.

Female celebs (or their babies) with traditionally male names

Looking for a name that's a little bit different for a girl? Turn to names that have been traditionally used for males, as these celebs (or their parents) did.

'If you're anti-immunisation ... take a look at this picture of my son'

Greg Hughes is "an absolute shell of a man" as he and his wife Catherine struggle to come to terms with the loss of their newborn son Riley to whooping cough.

How an extrovert can raise an introvert

Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, and sometimes even rude. A timid child can be difficult to build rapport with, but it's important we nurture their sensitive natures.

Sheryl Sandberg's advice

'Choreplay': Help out at home to get more sex, Sandberg tells men

Forget foreplay. The new and improved route to intercourse is "choreplay" - it's good for your spouse, good for your house, and comes with the imprimatur of feminist du jour Sheryl Sandberg.

How to play with your baby

The first time your child learns a new skill at playtime is very exciting - for both you and your baby! Play is important to your child's development for a variety of reasons - here are some simple ideas for you to try at home.

I'm a single mother by choice

For me, being the best mother I can be means being a mum alone, at least for now. Thinking of my friends with inadequate partners, I wonder why more people don’t choose single motherhood.

Awkward wedding photos

Weird poses, surprise photobombs, bizarre editing: these are the wedding photos that should have never seen the light of day.

Four-week-old baby Riley Hughes dies of whooping cough

The mother of a four-week-old Perth baby who died after contracting whooping cough says her family has been left devastated by the loss of her "gorgeous, sweet" son.

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Oh boy! Video shows family's reaction to baby surprise

Little Peyton Williams thought she was getting a baby sister named Charlee. But the two-year-old has had to settle for a doll dressed in pink after her baby "sister" turned out to be a boy.

How to help build up your baby's immune system

We all know that having a strong immune system is the best way to stay healthy – but what can we do to help it along?

'Nick, you need to call an ambulance': home birth mum's tragic death

A Melbourne mum who died after the home birth of her baby pleaded with her husband to call an ambulance because she felt she was going to die, the Victorian Coroners Court has heard.

When dads believe their baby doesn't 'like' them

Q: My two-month-old baby doesn't like me. He's perfectly content with my wife, but when I try to hold him, he gets upset and cries. I've backed off a little, thinking that he just needs a little time to get used to me, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm starting to think I'm just not a very good dad. Is it too late for me to build a relationship with my baby?

When was the last time a stranger praised your parenting?

Wouldn’t it be great to get some nice feedback every now and then? After all, everyone likes to hear positive praise, particularly when it comes to parenting.

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

15 names on the verge of extinction

If you're looking to revive an older name, or don’t want anything near the top 1000 list, check out these rare monikers for your unique baby.

5 characteristics of great dads

It’s great to see a generation of dads who are more actively involved with caring, nurturing and loving their kids.

Why doesn't Australia have more breast milk banks?

When there’s no question that milk banks are important, why don’t we have more of them in Australia?

Carrie Bickmore announces birth of daughter

Television personality Carrie Bickmore has given birth to her second child.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

The place just for dads of multiples

When a couple discovers they're expecting multiples, the dad can sometimes be almost forgotten in all the excitement and preparation. But one group offers a space just for dads of twins and higher-order multiples.

Brave mum calls for domestic violence law reform

A brave mum of two has shared details of the harrowing attacks she suffered at the hands of her partner in a bid to help other victims of domestic violence.

Why I had the new test for Down syndrome

Early last year I turned 35, and having just found out I was pregnant, I opted to have the new test for Down syndrome.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

2015: the year of the sheep

According to the Chinese zodiac, babies born in the year of the sheep are creative and enjoy spending quiet time with their own thoughts.

Breakthrough genetic testing now available in Australia

Pregnant women will for the first time have access to locally analysed, accurate, non-invasive pre-natal genetic testing when the first Australian clinic to offer the services opens its doors next week.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

Family kicked off flight after toddler seatbelt drama

An entire family was kicked off a Cathay Pacific flight when a misbehaving toddler refused to put his seatbelt on.

Stolen baby found after 17 years

A baby stolen from her mother's arms shortly after birth has been found through an astonishing coincidence.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.