Jump to content

23 yr old. Facebook. 15 yr old. UPDATE


  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 pencil

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:53 PM

I'm trying to decide if I should call the police or not. My 15 yr old has been talking to a 23 yr old on FB. I am very unhappy about some of the things said. Nothing blatantly obscene, but inappropriate things considering the ages.

I did call this guy and got nowhere. So I left it as a simple. "I'm reporting to police now"

I'm just not certain. I don't need more drama for DD who is having a rough time, but obviously this is not on. I have taken her laptop and phone and she is basically grounded indefinitely, though I have said it is not so much because she did something wrong, but because I need to keep her safe. (if that makes any sense)

I bloody hate facebook.

Edited by pencil, 26 November 2012 - 03:27 PM.


#2 JRA

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:54 PM

Firstly, does the 23yo know the 15 yo is 15?

Do you know the 23yo is 23?



#3 Expelliarmus

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:55 PM

I don't know, because it's hard to know without knowing what this person has said. I think you had best call the police so they can help you decide if it is a problem.

#4 Ianthe

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:59 PM

Well that would be goodbye facebook in this house for a start.

#5 pencil

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:01 PM

It is goodbye Facebook! But I have to tread carefully because she'll be 16 soon, and I don't want a full rebellion on my hands!

QUOTE
Firstly, does the 23yo know the 15 yo is 15?

Do you know the 23yo is 23?
Yes and yes. Absolutely, without a doubt.

#6 WaitForIt

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:02 PM

QUOTE (pencil @ 24/11/2012, 05:53 PM)
15105215[/url]']
I'm trying to decide if I should call the police or not. My 15 yr old has been talking to a 23 yr old on FB. I am very unhappy about some of the things said. Nothing blatantly obscene, but inappropriate things considering the ages.


Could be grooming. Call the police, there might be nothing they can do but they might flag him and keep an eye on him.

#7 Sunshineandsmiles

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:02 PM

Yep def let police know.

#8 Ianthe

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:02 PM

I really don't know what the police could do. They've just been talking right?

#9 Expelliarmus

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:03 PM

If he has been grooming her, it's an offence and they can do something. Hence call the police and they can help OP decide if it is grooming and take it from there.

#10 Expelliarmus

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:05 PM

OP, you could use this link http://www.thinkuknow.org.au/kids/grooming.asp
and use the report button to contact the appropriate unit in the Federal Police.

#11 Julie3Girls

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:36 PM

I'd probably be hesitant to actually remove facebook at that age - you are likely to get a fair bit of objection, and the likelihood of her simply going behind your back.

Instead, I would be blocking/defriending etc the 23yr old. And continuing to very closely monitor her facebook.
Doesn't hurt to contact the police and see if they think there is anything that should be done.


#12 WaitForIt

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:13 PM

QUOTE (howdo @ 24/11/2012, 06:03 PM)
15105238[/url]']
If he has been grooming her, it's an offence and they can do something. Hence call the police and they can help OP decide if it is grooming and take it from there.


Wow I didn't know grooming was illegal I assumed they'd have to wait u til something concrete happened. Thank goodness it is! OP please report it, it's not just about your daughter but everyone's daughters. He might be talking to her friends too.


#13 Chelli

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:21 PM

I don't think there is anything to lose by contacting the police and filing a report. It may turn out there is nothing they can do in this case, but it may also turn out that your niece is not the only under aged girl this person is grooming.

All the best, it would be a stressful situation.

#14 mychubbybubbies

Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:25 AM

I would contact the police. It will scare him and let your daughter know how serious you are. I would also be as open and honest as possible with her so she knows she can come to you no matter what.

#15 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:35 AM

As a parent I completely agree that contacting the police is a good plan.

As a very headstrong and wayward 15yo who was similarly grounded and banned from talking to my 16yo boyfriend because we had sex ... I moved out 4 months later, just after my 16th birthday. Needless to say the following few years were very, very bad and I'm very, very lucky.

Do whatever it takes to keep your daughter with you and trusting you.

Good luck sad.gif

(I didn't have FB or a computer)

#16 whitelights

Posted 25 November 2012 - 01:59 PM

I think deleting Facebook completely might make her rebel and make one behind your back and then if something similar or even worse happens in the future, she might not feel she can't talk to you because she's not 'meant' to be on FB.

I'd be reporting it and then starting to heavily monitor her account.The police will probably have suggestions on what to do when you report it.

#17 Tiger Lilly

Posted 25 November 2012 - 02:23 PM

I think the safest idea is to block him on facebook and report to the police.

Removing facebook entirely will just see her go behind your back.

Get her to watch the movie called Trust - you watch it first though.

Movie - Trust

#18 pencil

Posted 26 November 2012 - 03:26 PM

Update.

Went to the police, DD had to come with me. The policewoman called it grooming, took a statement from DD, took all details, etc.

There is not enough evidence for them to actually charge the guy with anything, but information will be sent out, as well as they will be running checks on him, particularly his online activity. Hopefully he gets caught for something.

DD won't be getting her internet or phone back anytime soon. She understands why. She'll get her (heavily culled) FB back when I feel more confident in her decision making!

PP, we are watching Trust tonight. Policewoman recommended it too.

I informed the school as well.



#19 Rhoxie

Posted 26 November 2012 - 11:23 PM

What a close call! Can I ask how she came to friend him on facebook and how you found out about the situation ?
(as a mother of one teen and one soon to be teen I'm rather worried)

#20 Ducky*Fuzz

Posted 26 November 2012 - 11:30 PM

That's a great response from the police!  I'm glad your daughter understands.

#21 Tiger Lilly

Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:58 PM

OP - how did you go with watching Trust?




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

The popular baby name from the Rio Olympics

"With a pair of athletes who are not only successful, but seen as great role models – combined with a softer sound – it is like hitting the jackpot."

Toy stuck in baby's throat for two weeks

When Jude Atiga's baby son Laith was struggling to breathe the worried mum called an ambulance.

Mum awarded $20 million over birth power struggle with nurses

As a mother of three, Caroline Malatesta thought she knew what she was letting herself in for when it came to the birth of her fourth baby.

Win a Baby Jogger City Premier for Father's Day

To celebrate Father's Day, one lucky EB fan will win one of their own! Enter Now!

'There's a giant picture of BOOBS but I can not feed my child'

A mum was ushered out of an US department store's underwear section after discreetly breastfeeding her baby.

Why fatherhood scares many dads-to-be

Travis Bull vividly remembers discovering his partner was pregnant for the first time.

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

Warning for pregnant women as flu-related deaths triple

A more than three-fold increase in flu-related deaths has sparked a plea for those with the flu to stay away from vulnerable people.

I'm trying to keep my child-free friends in my life, but it's tough

I tried to prove to my single friends that I was the same I'd always been. But marriage did change me - and motherhood has, too

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

Too many parents still putting babies in unsafe bedding: study

A study found that a whopping 91 per cent of four-week-old babies had been placed in cots with unsafe bedding.

Mum's shock as toddler fat-shamed by internet trolls

When a mother uploaded a cute photograph of her 14-month old child online, she did not expect a swarm of internet trolls to write that her toddler was fat.

How an Aldi staff member made one exhausted mum's day

It was a simple act of kindness, but one that made an exhausted mother's day.

The most awww-worthy celeb baby pics of the week

It's been a pretty cute week on Instagram in terms of celebs relishing their babies.

When 'Just Do It' just doesn't cut it

When even Michelle Bridges admits to struggling with her exercise regime, it's time to accept that having small children can be a legitimate reason for exercise not happening.

What life is really like when you have five kids

Life is cute with one, manageable with three, but at times completely impossible with five.

When no one can pronounce your baby's name

In Wales it's a common name, but over here, it's cause for some confusion.

Dad shares horror tale after Roomba's run-in with dog poop

It's the poop story that's been shared hundreds of thousands of times around the world.

How a homemade wheelchair is giving baby Evelyn freedom

Like all one-year-olds, Evelyn Moore is keen to get moving and explore the world around her. But a battle with aggressive cancer left the little girl paralysed from the waist down.

Single to double pram that folds with seat attached

A pram is a large purchase, and you only want to buy once.

Mum-to-be surprises husband with big news in joy-filled photoshoot

When Bri Dow learnt that she was expecting, she immediately knew she wanted to break the news to her husband Brandon in a special way.

Blake Lively: 'Post-pregnancy slim down pressure is so unfair'

Blake Lively has urged women not to feel pressured to lose weight after pregnancy.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

5 ways having a baby is different when you have older children

So much parenting advice is geared towards having your first baby, but what's it like having a baby when you already have children?

You can now make your own plush Falkor

Fans of The NeverEnding Story – of which there are certainly plenty – went crazy for these plush Falkors when they first went on sale last year.

Baby steps

10 things that will actually happen after having a baby

I thought I had prepared myself for motherhood. Then my baby girl arrived and knocked everything flat.

Having a baby: expectations vs reality

People love to warn you about what to expect when having a baby, but they can be way off when it comes to the reality.

Are we having fun yet? Thinking positively as a parent

Motherhood is wonderful ... except when it sucks.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

When breastfeeding doesn't go with the flow

Breast is best, except when it's not. And in our case, it most definitely wasn't.

'If you don't vaccinate your kids you're a bloody idiot'

The photos are heartbreaking and almost too difficult to look at, but Kayley Burke is begging other parents to take notice.

Why pregnant women should eat chocolate

In news that will make expectant mums jump for joy - and reach for a block of Cadbury - scientists have revealed chocolate could provide health benefits during pregnancy.

The baby born with an incredible head of hair

If you're in any way challenged in the follicle department, prepare to feel a jolt of envy - at a two-month-old baby.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

 

ENTER NOW

Win one of two Father's Day Gift Packs

Sign up to receive our new Essential Kids announcements emails for a chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.