Jump to content

23 yr old. Facebook. 15 yr old. UPDATE


  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 pencil

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:53 PM

I'm trying to decide if I should call the police or not. My 15 yr old has been talking to a 23 yr old on FB. I am very unhappy about some of the things said. Nothing blatantly obscene, but inappropriate things considering the ages.

I did call this guy and got nowhere. So I left it as a simple. "I'm reporting to police now"

I'm just not certain. I don't need more drama for DD who is having a rough time, but obviously this is not on. I have taken her laptop and phone and she is basically grounded indefinitely, though I have said it is not so much because she did something wrong, but because I need to keep her safe. (if that makes any sense)

I bloody hate facebook.

Edited by pencil, 26 November 2012 - 03:27 PM.


#2 JRA

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:54 PM

Firstly, does the 23yo know the 15 yo is 15?

Do you know the 23yo is 23?



#3 Expelliarmus

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:55 PM

I don't know, because it's hard to know without knowing what this person has said. I think you had best call the police so they can help you decide if it is a problem.

#4 QueenIanthe

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:59 PM

Well that would be goodbye facebook in this house for a start.

#5 pencil

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:01 PM

It is goodbye Facebook! But I have to tread carefully because she'll be 16 soon, and I don't want a full rebellion on my hands!

QUOTE
Firstly, does the 23yo know the 15 yo is 15?

Do you know the 23yo is 23?
Yes and yes. Absolutely, without a doubt.

#6 WaitForIt

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:02 PM

QUOTE (pencil @ 24/11/2012, 05:53 PM)
15105215[/url]']
I'm trying to decide if I should call the police or not. My 15 yr old has been talking to a 23 yr old on FB. I am very unhappy about some of the things said. Nothing blatantly obscene, but inappropriate things considering the ages.


Could be grooming. Call the police, there might be nothing they can do but they might flag him and keep an eye on him.

#7 Sunshineandsmiles

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:02 PM

Yep def let police know.

#8 QueenIanthe

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:02 PM

I really don't know what the police could do. They've just been talking right?

#9 Expelliarmus

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:03 PM

If he has been grooming her, it's an offence and they can do something. Hence call the police and they can help OP decide if it is grooming and take it from there.

#10 Expelliarmus

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:05 PM

OP, you could use this link http://www.thinkuknow.org.au/kids/grooming.asp
and use the report button to contact the appropriate unit in the Federal Police.

#11 Julie3Girls

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:36 PM

I'd probably be hesitant to actually remove facebook at that age - you are likely to get a fair bit of objection, and the likelihood of her simply going behind your back.

Instead, I would be blocking/defriending etc the 23yr old. And continuing to very closely monitor her facebook.
Doesn't hurt to contact the police and see if they think there is anything that should be done.


#12 WaitForIt

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:13 PM

QUOTE (howdo @ 24/11/2012, 06:03 PM)
15105238[/url]']
If he has been grooming her, it's an offence and they can do something. Hence call the police and they can help OP decide if it is grooming and take it from there.


Wow I didn't know grooming was illegal I assumed they'd have to wait u til something concrete happened. Thank goodness it is! OP please report it, it's not just about your daughter but everyone's daughters. He might be talking to her friends too.


#13 Chelli

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:21 PM

I don't think there is anything to lose by contacting the police and filing a report. It may turn out there is nothing they can do in this case, but it may also turn out that your niece is not the only under aged girl this person is grooming.

All the best, it would be a stressful situation.

#14 mychubbybubbies

Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:25 AM

I would contact the police. It will scare him and let your daughter know how serious you are. I would also be as open and honest as possible with her so she knows she can come to you no matter what.

#15 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 25 November 2012 - 10:35 AM

As a parent I completely agree that contacting the police is a good plan.

As a very headstrong and wayward 15yo who was similarly grounded and banned from talking to my 16yo boyfriend because we had sex ... I moved out 4 months later, just after my 16th birthday. Needless to say the following few years were very, very bad and I'm very, very lucky.

Do whatever it takes to keep your daughter with you and trusting you.

Good luck sad.gif

(I didn't have FB or a computer)

#16 whitelights

Posted 25 November 2012 - 01:59 PM

I think deleting Facebook completely might make her rebel and make one behind your back and then if something similar or even worse happens in the future, she might not feel she can't talk to you because she's not 'meant' to be on FB.

I'd be reporting it and then starting to heavily monitor her account.The police will probably have suggestions on what to do when you report it.

#17 Tiger Lilly

Posted 25 November 2012 - 02:23 PM

I think the safest idea is to block him on facebook and report to the police.

Removing facebook entirely will just see her go behind your back.

Get her to watch the movie called Trust - you watch it first though.

Movie - Trust

#18 pencil

Posted 26 November 2012 - 03:26 PM

Update.

Went to the police, DD had to come with me. The policewoman called it grooming, took a statement from DD, took all details, etc.

There is not enough evidence for them to actually charge the guy with anything, but information will be sent out, as well as they will be running checks on him, particularly his online activity. Hopefully he gets caught for something.

DD won't be getting her internet or phone back anytime soon. She understands why. She'll get her (heavily culled) FB back when I feel more confident in her decision making!

PP, we are watching Trust tonight. Policewoman recommended it too.

I informed the school as well.



#19 Rhoxie

Posted 26 November 2012 - 11:23 PM

What a close call! Can I ask how she came to friend him on facebook and how you found out about the situation ?
(as a mother of one teen and one soon to be teen I'm rather worried)

#20 Ducky*Fuzz

Posted 26 November 2012 - 11:30 PM

That's a great response from the police!  I'm glad your daughter understands.

#21 Tiger Lilly

Posted 09 December 2012 - 09:58 PM

OP - how did you go with watching Trust?




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

What not to say to a new mum

Some phrases just pop out before you really think about them, but there are some things you should try to not say to a new mum.

Why I'm glad to be an indulgent granny

The phone calls started a couple of weeks ago. At about 5.30 each evening - if I am lucky - I will be greeted by a sweet, excited voice declaring: "'Allo Annie".

Is this the worst relationship advice ever published?

You sometimes have to wonder whether relationship/sex advice from magazines is designed to help or humiliate.

How you talk to your baby now can impact social skills later

People used to think that social skills were something kids were born with, not taught.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Scientists predict when you should start a family

Scientists have calculated at exactly what age you need to start trying to get pregnant to have the best chance of realising your dream. 

Differently abled child

When 'protecting' a child is really a cover for judgement

Why are people so concerned for this happy child and his mother?

When toddlers have strange obsessions

When it comes to two-year-olds and birthday cakes there are a few requests that are usually at the top of the list. But a cake featuring a local personal injury lawyer?

When Mama Bear strikes

When we become mums, our instinct to protect our children and keep them safe from harm is so strong we're often likened to a Mama Bear protecting her cubs.  

Immunity boosters for kids

There are no guaranteed ways to avoid the dreaded winter illnesses completely, but there are ways we can boost our children's immunity.

Mum shares portrait of her proudly breastfeeding three-year-old

Jade Beall usually chooses to breastfeed her son, now 3, in private. This week, however, she shared portraits of her breastfeeding her preschooler.

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The science of 'hangry': why some people get grumpy when hungry

Where does hanger come from? And why is it that only some people seem to get hangry?

What a baby with whooping cough sounds like

It's a heartbreaking video that anyone who has ever considered not vaccinating against whooping cough must see.

Couple's million dollar bill for premmie baby born on holiday

An Australian couple could face a medical expenses of more than $1 million after their baby boy was born three months prematurely while they were holidaying in Hawaii.

Coffee a day to keep disease at bay

Don't be surprised if your morning brew does more than wake you up. There's more to this magical elixir than you might think.

Why Prince George has 'two different looks'

Days out from Prince George's second birthday, his parents' tendency to dress him in classical style clothing has been revealed as a cunning ploy.

Husband films mum giving birth in moving car on freeway

An incredible birth video shows a mother delivering her own baby as her husband drives along a freeway in a vain attempt to reach hospital.

Breastfeeding while pregnant: is it safe?

Many women happily breastfeed well into pregnancy while others wean sooner; yet others continue to breastfeed both infants together. This is a personal choice.

Womb to world: transitioning your new baby

One minute they're contentedly snuggled in the sanctuary of their mum's tummy, and the next they arrive into an overwhelming reality of lights, cameras and action.

Gadgets

iSperm: the iPad home fertility test for men

A new gadget uses a tiny microscope and the camera on an iPad to calculate sperm count and motility.

The tiny twins who were strong from the start

I cried when a specialist told me at exactly 28 weeks that our twin boys would have to be born within 48 hours.

One day when I didn't know

Julia Watson, a mum of four young girls, was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in December 2013. She shares her latest blog piece with Essential Baby. 

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.