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Shoud I have a baby shower?
to keep my sister happy


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14 replies to this topic

#1 secret~sammy

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:49 PM

There is a bit of a baby boom going on in my family - my sister is also pregnant with her first, about a month behind me. I’m really happy for her and I Iove the idea of cousins so close in age.

While she’s my sister and I Iove her we’re not that close and we’re really different personality wise. I don’t like having parties, or being the centre of attention, or feeling like I’m asking people for things -  She adores parties and attention and has been talking about her baby shower since about 6 weeks pregnant (which was before she knew I was too). The other big difference is that DP and I um’d and ah’d about whether we would have kids at all and then when we decided to try we fell pregnant pretty quickly; where as having a baby has been the focus of her life for quite a while now.

All other things being equal I wouldn’t have a baby shower for myself but I’m worried that if I don’t have something then her shower will become, by default, one for both of us in the eyes of the aunts/cousins/family friends and not the special day for her she’s been dreaming about. I had a dream the other night that I gave birth the morning of her shower and had to beg DP not to call and tell anyone before it had ended so I didn’t ‘steal her thunder’.

My SIL has offered to throw me a shower, or just a low key BBQ, basically whatever I want and I don’t know what to do. WWYD if you were me?

<EFS>

Edited by secret~sammy, 24 November 2012 - 04:50 PM.


#2 Escapin

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:54 PM

I think something low key for you so you don't end up 'sharing' your sister's party is the way to go. You never know, you might have fun original.gif

#3 lamarque

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:56 PM

If I were you, I'd take your SIL up on her lovely offer.  That way you're not the host (I hate throwing parties for myself and didn't have a shower for this reason) and you will please your cousins, aunties etc.

#4 baddmammajamma

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:10 PM

Sounds like a lovely gesture by your SIL. If you are honest with her about what type of event YOU would enjoy most (laid back, surrounded by people you care about, no bright spot light on you), you might end up enjoying yourself. original.gif



#5 Expelliarmus

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:24 PM

I would take SIL up on her offer.

#6 M1B2G

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:26 PM

Take SIL up on the offer of a low key event....

#7 claptrap

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:26 PM

I know your sister is behind you but would it be feasible to take your SIL up on her offer, but have your shower AFTER that of your sister?  That way she can make a huge fuss and love every second of it, and yours can follow and be much more low key as is your preference.

#8 whale-woman

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:28 PM

Take her up on it. I didn't want a baby's shower but people at my work threw one anyways and it was actually very nice.

#9 Duck.

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:59 PM

Why not just have a BBQ with a few pink amd blue balloons?

That way you have done something but not?

#10 i-candi

Posted 24 November 2012 - 08:55 PM

You sound like me, I never had a baby shower.

I'd tell her no you don't want one and tell everyone (except SIL) that you won't be going to the baby shower then turn up. So it will be all about your SIL (ie no presents for you). All will be happy then.

#11 April girl

Posted 24 November 2012 - 09:51 PM

QUOTE (i-candi @ 24/11/2012, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You sound like me, I never had a baby shower.

I'd tell her no you don't want one and tell everyone (except SIL) that you won't be going to the baby shower then turn up. So it will be all about your SIL (ie no presents for you). All will be happy then.


Don't do this. Your sil suggestion is great and it can be as small and casual as you like. Don't lie - that will have everyone feeling weird and would put your sister in a strange position where she may feel she has to be dishonest on your behalf. Way too much drama especially if you are a low key kind of person.

#12 SeaPrincess

Posted 24 November 2012 - 10:16 PM

QUOTE (i-candi @ 24/11/2012, 06:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd tell her no you don't want one and tell everyone (except SIL) that you won't be going to the baby shower then turn up. So it will be all about your SIL (ie no presents for you). All will be happy then.

Do not do this.  I think it could totally backfire as everyone swarms around saying "I thought you weren't coming".

Accept SIL's offer, have it after your sister's, and enjoy original.gif

#13 secret~sammy

Posted 26 November 2012 - 08:45 AM

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.

I think I will take SIL up on the low key BBQ option. I think the idea of having it after my sisters baby shower is a really good one and I wish I could but I’ll be 39 weeks at hers so that isn’t really a viable option.


#14 butterflies

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:41 AM

Is she expecting you to host hers in return?



#15 LuckyDucky

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:56 AM

You are such a generous person to consider your sister in this way! I'm glad you're thinking of taking up your SIL's offer - sounds like a really good solution. Don't worry about not being able to have it after your sister's. Your family know you both and probably will get you wanting a chilled out event and your sister wanting something bigger. My sister and I are the same.




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