Jump to content

Shoud I have a baby shower?
to keep my sister happy


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 secret~sammy

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:49 PM

There is a bit of a baby boom going on in my family - my sister is also pregnant with her first, about a month behind me. I’m really happy for her and I Iove the idea of cousins so close in age.

While she’s my sister and I Iove her we’re not that close and we’re really different personality wise. I don’t like having parties, or being the centre of attention, or feeling like I’m asking people for things -  She adores parties and attention and has been talking about her baby shower since about 6 weeks pregnant (which was before she knew I was too). The other big difference is that DP and I um’d and ah’d about whether we would have kids at all and then when we decided to try we fell pregnant pretty quickly; where as having a baby has been the focus of her life for quite a while now.

All other things being equal I wouldn’t have a baby shower for myself but I’m worried that if I don’t have something then her shower will become, by default, one for both of us in the eyes of the aunts/cousins/family friends and not the special day for her she’s been dreaming about. I had a dream the other night that I gave birth the morning of her shower and had to beg DP not to call and tell anyone before it had ended so I didn’t ‘steal her thunder’.

My SIL has offered to throw me a shower, or just a low key BBQ, basically whatever I want and I don’t know what to do. WWYD if you were me?

<EFS>

Edited by secret~sammy, 24 November 2012 - 04:50 PM.


#2 Escapin

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:54 PM

I think something low key for you so you don't end up 'sharing' your sister's party is the way to go. You never know, you might have fun original.gif

#3 lamarque

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:56 PM

If I were you, I'd take your SIL up on her lovely offer.  That way you're not the host (I hate throwing parties for myself and didn't have a shower for this reason) and you will please your cousins, aunties etc.

#4 baddmammajamma

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:10 PM

Sounds like a lovely gesture by your SIL. If you are honest with her about what type of event YOU would enjoy most (laid back, surrounded by people you care about, no bright spot light on you), you might end up enjoying yourself. original.gif



#5 Expelliarmus

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:24 PM

I would take SIL up on her offer.

#6 DontKnow2015

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:26 PM

Take SIL up on the offer of a low key event....

#7 Weirdly Sane

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:26 PM

I know your sister is behind you but would it be feasible to take your SIL up on her offer, but have your shower AFTER that of your sister?  That way she can make a huge fuss and love every second of it, and yours can follow and be much more low key as is your preference.

#8 whale-woman

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:28 PM

Take her up on it. I didn't want a baby's shower but people at my work threw one anyways and it was actually very nice.

#9 noonehere

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:59 PM

Why not just have a BBQ with a few pink amd blue balloons?

That way you have done something but not?

#10 i-candi

Posted 24 November 2012 - 08:55 PM

You sound like me, I never had a baby shower.

I'd tell her no you don't want one and tell everyone (except SIL) that you won't be going to the baby shower then turn up. So it will be all about your SIL (ie no presents for you). All will be happy then.

#11 April girl

Posted 24 November 2012 - 09:51 PM

QUOTE (i-candi @ 24/11/2012, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You sound like me, I never had a baby shower.

I'd tell her no you don't want one and tell everyone (except SIL) that you won't be going to the baby shower then turn up. So it will be all about your SIL (ie no presents for you). All will be happy then.


Don't do this. Your sil suggestion is great and it can be as small and casual as you like. Don't lie - that will have everyone feeling weird and would put your sister in a strange position where she may feel she has to be dishonest on your behalf. Way too much drama especially if you are a low key kind of person.

#12 SeaPrincess

Posted 24 November 2012 - 10:16 PM

QUOTE (i-candi @ 24/11/2012, 06:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd tell her no you don't want one and tell everyone (except SIL) that you won't be going to the baby shower then turn up. So it will be all about your SIL (ie no presents for you). All will be happy then.

Do not do this.  I think it could totally backfire as everyone swarms around saying "I thought you weren't coming".

Accept SIL's offer, have it after your sister's, and enjoy original.gif

#13 secret~sammy

Posted 26 November 2012 - 08:45 AM

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.

I think I will take SIL up on the low key BBQ option. I think the idea of having it after my sisters baby shower is a really good one and I wish I could but I’ll be 39 weeks at hers so that isn’t really a viable option.


#14 butterflies

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:41 AM

Is she expecting you to host hers in return?






0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Kelly Clarkson shares first photos of son

Kelly Clarkson has shown off the first photos of her son, Remington Alexander Blackstock.

5 childbirth myths that need to be busted

Birth is an unpredictable, mysterious process that intrigues us all, and there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Mum of three fatally shot by toddler while driving

A US mother has been shot by her toddler while driving on a highway in Wisconsin.

All you need is one minute to work out

The seven-minute-work out is old news. Research shows the effectiveness of going hell-for-leather for just one minute.

Pregnant women needed to join diabetes study

Pregnant woman in country Australia will help Adelaide researchers figure out why cases of type 1 diabetes have doubled over the past two decades.

Just announced: the Mountain Buggy Unirider

It's the perfect solution to combat those toddler meltdowns when they no longer want to be in a pram but can't walk long distances.

Authorities euthanise dog that fatally bit a newborn baby

A pit bull mix that fatally bit a 3-day-old infant last week has been euthanised, authorities said.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Why it's perfectly natural to dislike other people's children

Members of a popular forum are fiercely debating whether it is acceptable to dislike a friend's child.

Woman gives birth on plane, names baby after airline

A pregnant woman who unexpectedly gave birth on a flight has named her new baby after the airline, Jetstar.

Heartwarming photos show the joy of adoption after foster care

Children living in foster care can feel like their future is less than clear. But that uncertainty disappears the day they are adopted by their "forever family" 

'Oh my god, it's a baby!' Mum shocked to give birth

When the cramps started to kick in, Klara Dollan just assumed a painful period was starting.

Mum's Facebook plea: 'Help me find my daughter's father'

Kerryn has a unusual present planned for daughter Imi's 13th birthday celebrations - she hopes to be able to be able to give the soon-to-be the teenager her first ever photo of her dad.

Is it possible for your house to be too clean?

Our houses are cleaner than ever before. But how clean is too clean? Could a sterile home be putting your family's health at risk?

Millions of Monkeys: puzzles that grow with your toddler

Here's a puzzle that grows with them; the Puzzle Grow Pack by Millions of Monkeys.

Baby names from Britpop

If you grew up in the 90s you might want to look to the genre of Britpop music for baby name inspiration.

What to eat and drink when you have gastro

When you catch a bug that causes acute infectious gastroenteritis (gastro), your stomach and intestinal tract become inflamed, causing diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramping and pain. The last thing you probably feel like doing is eating.

'To this day, I owe her my life'

Would I have survived if I hadn't crossed that street?

Why baby Sonny needs you to vaccinate your children

Caitlin is a firm believer in the importance of immunisation to protect children from harmful and deadly diseases.

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.