Jump to content

Shoud I have a baby shower?
to keep my sister happy


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 secret~sammy

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:49 PM

There is a bit of a baby boom going on in my family - my sister is also pregnant with her first, about a month behind me. I’m really happy for her and I Iove the idea of cousins so close in age.

While she’s my sister and I Iove her we’re not that close and we’re really different personality wise. I don’t like having parties, or being the centre of attention, or feeling like I’m asking people for things -  She adores parties and attention and has been talking about her baby shower since about 6 weeks pregnant (which was before she knew I was too). The other big difference is that DP and I um’d and ah’d about whether we would have kids at all and then when we decided to try we fell pregnant pretty quickly; where as having a baby has been the focus of her life for quite a while now.

All other things being equal I wouldn’t have a baby shower for myself but I’m worried that if I don’t have something then her shower will become, by default, one for both of us in the eyes of the aunts/cousins/family friends and not the special day for her she’s been dreaming about. I had a dream the other night that I gave birth the morning of her shower and had to beg DP not to call and tell anyone before it had ended so I didn’t ‘steal her thunder’.

My SIL has offered to throw me a shower, or just a low key BBQ, basically whatever I want and I don’t know what to do. WWYD if you were me?

<EFS>

Edited by secret~sammy, 24 November 2012 - 04:50 PM.


#2 Escapin

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:54 PM

I think something low key for you so you don't end up 'sharing' your sister's party is the way to go. You never know, you might have fun original.gif

#3 lamarque

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:56 PM

If I were you, I'd take your SIL up on her lovely offer.  That way you're not the host (I hate throwing parties for myself and didn't have a shower for this reason) and you will please your cousins, aunties etc.

#4 baddmammajamma

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:10 PM

Sounds like a lovely gesture by your SIL. If you are honest with her about what type of event YOU would enjoy most (laid back, surrounded by people you care about, no bright spot light on you), you might end up enjoying yourself. original.gif



#5 Expelliarmus

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:24 PM

I would take SIL up on her offer.

#6 M1B2G

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:26 PM

Take SIL up on the offer of a low key event....

#7 codswallop

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:26 PM

I know your sister is behind you but would it be feasible to take your SIL up on her offer, but have your shower AFTER that of your sister?  That way she can make a huge fuss and love every second of it, and yours can follow and be much more low key as is your preference.

#8 whale-woman

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:28 PM

Take her up on it. I didn't want a baby's shower but people at my work threw one anyways and it was actually very nice.

#9 duckasorus

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:59 PM

Why not just have a BBQ with a few pink amd blue balloons?

That way you have done something but not?

#10 i-candi

Posted 24 November 2012 - 08:55 PM

You sound like me, I never had a baby shower.

I'd tell her no you don't want one and tell everyone (except SIL) that you won't be going to the baby shower then turn up. So it will be all about your SIL (ie no presents for you). All will be happy then.

#11 April girl

Posted 24 November 2012 - 09:51 PM

QUOTE (i-candi @ 24/11/2012, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You sound like me, I never had a baby shower.

I'd tell her no you don't want one and tell everyone (except SIL) that you won't be going to the baby shower then turn up. So it will be all about your SIL (ie no presents for you). All will be happy then.


Don't do this. Your sil suggestion is great and it can be as small and casual as you like. Don't lie - that will have everyone feeling weird and would put your sister in a strange position where she may feel she has to be dishonest on your behalf. Way too much drama especially if you are a low key kind of person.

#12 SeaPrincess

Posted 24 November 2012 - 10:16 PM

QUOTE (i-candi @ 24/11/2012, 06:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd tell her no you don't want one and tell everyone (except SIL) that you won't be going to the baby shower then turn up. So it will be all about your SIL (ie no presents for you). All will be happy then.

Do not do this.  I think it could totally backfire as everyone swarms around saying "I thought you weren't coming".

Accept SIL's offer, have it after your sister's, and enjoy original.gif

#13 secret~sammy

Posted 26 November 2012 - 08:45 AM

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.

I think I will take SIL up on the low key BBQ option. I think the idea of having it after my sisters baby shower is a really good one and I wish I could but I’ll be 39 weeks at hers so that isn’t really a viable option.


#14 butterflies

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:41 AM

Is she expecting you to host hers in return?



#15 LuckyDucky

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:56 AM

You are such a generous person to consider your sister in this way! I'm glad you're thinking of taking up your SIL's offer - sounds like a really good solution. Don't worry about not being able to have it after your sister's. Your family know you both and probably will get you wanting a chilled out event and your sister wanting something bigger. My sister and I are the same.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Life with anxiety

At times, I feel pretty worthless. In those moments, all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide in the dark. I can try to quiet my mind, but it won?t shut up.

IVF leaves woman pregnant with another couple's twins

An Italian woman has been told the twins she is three months pregnant with are not hers.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

What you need for the 'fourth trimester'

In my opinion, the first three months after the birth are the most intense. Here's what got me through that time after welcoming my baby.

Weaning a toddler off a dummy: a 15-day plan

Weaning your child off the dummy can be a traumatic experience for both of you. Here are some tips to help you through.

Choosing to be a solo parent

Two women share their stories of longing for a baby so much that they each decided not to wait for a partner before becoming a mum.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

The ultimate travel stroller: the Mountain Buggy nano

We tried the Mountain Buggy nano and give it an enthusiastic thumbs up. As the ultimate travel stroller, it's practical, has great features, and looks fab, too.

Mum's heartbreak as son dies in road accident

Daly Thomas and her two young sons were walking home from church on Tuesday afternoon. Her youngest son never made it.

New Kate Spade baby bag designs

Don?t adjust your screen: this bright beauty is coming to you in full colour.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Itchibubs: clothes for babies and toddlers with eczema

Parents of children who suffer from eczema will know only too well the scratching that occurs around the clock. A new clothing range aims to help make everyone more comfortable.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Caring for kids helps grandmothers stay mentally alert

Looking after grandchildren can help grandmothers ward off brain disease - but it's also possible to get too much of a good thing, researchers say.

Why I loved my third home water birth

After two water births at home, I was determined to give birth to my son the same way. I just hoped this birth would be quicker than my last two.

Revealed: 7 ways food marketers try to trick consumers

If you?re confused by food labels, you?re not alone. Next time you?re shopping for food, look out for these seven common labelling tricks.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.