Jump to content

Shoud I have a baby shower?
to keep my sister happy


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 secret~sammy

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:49 PM

There is a bit of a baby boom going on in my family - my sister is also pregnant with her first, about a month behind me. I’m really happy for her and I Iove the idea of cousins so close in age.

While she’s my sister and I Iove her we’re not that close and we’re really different personality wise. I don’t like having parties, or being the centre of attention, or feeling like I’m asking people for things -  She adores parties and attention and has been talking about her baby shower since about 6 weeks pregnant (which was before she knew I was too). The other big difference is that DP and I um’d and ah’d about whether we would have kids at all and then when we decided to try we fell pregnant pretty quickly; where as having a baby has been the focus of her life for quite a while now.

All other things being equal I wouldn’t have a baby shower for myself but I’m worried that if I don’t have something then her shower will become, by default, one for both of us in the eyes of the aunts/cousins/family friends and not the special day for her she’s been dreaming about. I had a dream the other night that I gave birth the morning of her shower and had to beg DP not to call and tell anyone before it had ended so I didn’t ‘steal her thunder’.

My SIL has offered to throw me a shower, or just a low key BBQ, basically whatever I want and I don’t know what to do. WWYD if you were me?

<EFS>

Edited by secret~sammy, 24 November 2012 - 04:50 PM.


#2 Not Escapin Xmas

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:54 PM

I think something low key for you so you don't end up 'sharing' your sister's party is the way to go. You never know, you might have fun original.gif

#3 lamarque

Posted 24 November 2012 - 04:56 PM

If I were you, I'd take your SIL up on her lovely offer.  That way you're not the host (I hate throwing parties for myself and didn't have a shower for this reason) and you will please your cousins, aunties etc.

#4 baddmammajamma

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:10 PM

Sounds like a lovely gesture by your SIL. If you are honest with her about what type of event YOU would enjoy most (laid back, surrounded by people you care about, no bright spot light on you), you might end up enjoying yourself. original.gif



#5 Expelliarmus

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:24 PM

I would take SIL up on her offer.

#6 DontKnow2015

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:26 PM

Take SIL up on the offer of a low key event....

#7 Weirdly Sane

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:26 PM

I know your sister is behind you but would it be feasible to take your SIL up on her offer, but have your shower AFTER that of your sister?  That way she can make a huge fuss and love every second of it, and yours can follow and be much more low key as is your preference.

#8 whale-woman

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:28 PM

Take her up on it. I didn't want a baby's shower but people at my work threw one anyways and it was actually very nice.

#9 noonehere

Posted 24 November 2012 - 05:59 PM

Why not just have a BBQ with a few pink amd blue balloons?

That way you have done something but not?

#10 i-candi

Posted 24 November 2012 - 08:55 PM

You sound like me, I never had a baby shower.

I'd tell her no you don't want one and tell everyone (except SIL) that you won't be going to the baby shower then turn up. So it will be all about your SIL (ie no presents for you). All will be happy then.

#11 April girl

Posted 24 November 2012 - 09:51 PM

QUOTE (i-candi @ 24/11/2012, 09:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You sound like me, I never had a baby shower.

I'd tell her no you don't want one and tell everyone (except SIL) that you won't be going to the baby shower then turn up. So it will be all about your SIL (ie no presents for you). All will be happy then.


Don't do this. Your sil suggestion is great and it can be as small and casual as you like. Don't lie - that will have everyone feeling weird and would put your sister in a strange position where she may feel she has to be dishonest on your behalf. Way too much drama especially if you are a low key kind of person.

#12 SeaPrincess

Posted 24 November 2012 - 10:16 PM

QUOTE (i-candi @ 24/11/2012, 06:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd tell her no you don't want one and tell everyone (except SIL) that you won't be going to the baby shower then turn up. So it will be all about your SIL (ie no presents for you). All will be happy then.

Do not do this.  I think it could totally backfire as everyone swarms around saying "I thought you weren't coming".

Accept SIL's offer, have it after your sister's, and enjoy original.gif

#13 secret~sammy

Posted 26 November 2012 - 08:45 AM

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.

I think I will take SIL up on the low key BBQ option. I think the idea of having it after my sisters baby shower is a really good one and I wish I could but I’ll be 39 weeks at hers so that isn’t really a viable option.


#14 butterflies

Posted 27 November 2012 - 07:41 AM

Is she expecting you to host hers in return?






0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Chrissy Teigen's pride about daughter's adorable first word

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend have celebrated their 11-month-old baby Luna's first word with an adorable Instagram post.

The photo that sums up how dads REALLY feel during labour

A new mum shared a hilarious photo of her partner during labour that lots of dads will relate to.

You can never hold your baby too much, says study

From the world of super obvious science comes the news that you can never hold your baby too much.

Babies called Romeo and Juliet born hours apart in the same hospital

Two mums gave birth in adjoining hospital rooms a few hours apart. They had never met, and had each chosen their baby's name earlier in the pregnancy.

Mum organises 'nurse-in' protest at IKEA

It's hard to believe than in 2017 mums are still receiving flak for breastfeeding in public, but that's what one US mum claims happened in IKEA.

Will 'How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids' be a best-seller?

Author Jancee Dunn hopes her new book will help mums deal with the stresses that parenthood can place on an otherwise happy relationship.

The dad who was taunted for taking paternity leave

They imagined that while I was away, I would be glued to the couch, beer in hand. In no way would I actually be helping my wife.

Photographer surprises couple with rainbow baby shoot

The prettiest and most unexpected maternity shoot for a much-wanted rainbow baby.

Mum's funny solution for finding 'me time' with a toddler in tow

If you've ever been in possession of a toddler, you'll know that it's next to impossible to get anything done.

Qualities my three-year-old has that I admire

My three-year-old daughter is one of the strongest little women that I know. As I watch her grow into this amazing person, I can't help but feel accomplished and proud.

'You need to be present': John Legend on supporting a partner with PND

Singer John Legend has opened up about supporting wife Chrissy Teigen through postnatal depression.

The seven types of 'parent sleep'

The question, "Did you sleep well last night?" should be easy to answer. Either a yes (if you're lucky), or a no.

'Anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks'

Tammin Sursok has written an essay sharing her personal experience with postnatal anxiety.

11 things to do to protect your mental health while breastfeeding

Whether breastfeeding is going well or you are finding it harder than you expected, taking care of you needs to be a priority.

Couple announces they're both expecting - three weeks apart

Being pregnant at the same time as your best friend means double the excitement.

Why Dax Shepard was 'impressed' when his daughter swore for the first time

Actor and comedian, Dax Shepard has given a hilarious recap of the lengths he'll go to get, and keep, his kids asleep.

Video captures beautiful breech caesarean birth

A new life is brought gently into the world with tender and expert hands.

Mum warns of vacuum danger after toddler injured

Every parent knows toddlers can move fast, now one mum is warning about the dangers of allowing small children anywhere near vacuum cleaners.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Win 1 of 10 awesome Peppa Pig prize packs

Who loves Peppa? We have 10 packs to give away - including family passes to see the brand new movie, in cinemas March 16!

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

28th - 30th April, 2017, Melbourne Royal Exhibition Building, Carlton. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores

28th - 30th April, 2017, Melbourne Royal Exhibition Building, Carlton. Get your FREE ticket now. Save $20.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.