Jump to content

Baby shower etiquette - don't know what to do


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 Feral Mozzie

Posted 24 November 2012 - 08:51 AM

My extended family live very far apart, so it takes an event for us to get together. When DH and I announced our pregnancy, i got a lot of questions about when I was going to have my baby shower. I didn't really want one, because in the last 2 years I've had a wedding and a big 30th, and we are also better off financially than most of ur friends and family, so it seemed wrong to be asking for presents. I also wanted to see the family, who we don't see often enough and I miss.

So we compromised, and are having a unisex BBQ to celebrate the imminent arrival of our child. We've invited friends as well as family. The invite just calls it a baby celebration, and there is no mention of presents. But I have now heard from mum that most people have contacted her and asked what to buy us, so I gave her a list.

Now here is my dilemma. At a traditional baby shower, one of the highlights is watching the mother to be open her presents in front of everyone, and cooing over the tiny socks. I don't want anyone to feel like their gift wasn't appreciated. BUT we didn't position it as a ban shower, and I don't want anyone who doesn't bring a gift to be made to feel uncomfortable - after all, we weren't expecting them.

I might be over thinking this, but I really don't know what to do. Any advice?

#2 Feral Mozzie

Posted 24 November 2012 - 09:03 AM

QUOTE (Rawr @ 24/11/2012, 09:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Pretend you like the gifts.


Huh? I'm not sure I understand - why wouldn't I like the gifts? I'm worried about opening presents in front of the whole group, and therefore making people who didn't bring one feel uncomfortable.

#3 baddmammajamma

Posted 24 November 2012 - 09:03 AM

Give a heartfelt thanks in person when/if a loved one hands you a present.

Then open the gifts after the event and write heartfelt, prompt thank you notes.

Enjoy your time with your family and friends!

Edited by baddmammajamma, 24 November 2012 - 09:05 AM.


#4 Futureself

Posted 24 November 2012 - 09:03 AM

Simple - just don't. Have a table, or designated spot, for anyone who brings a gift to place them at the bbq and then just open them later. I had a champagne brunch(with some menfolk there too) for my shower and didn't even think to open gifts there as I find it odd.

I do think it is particularly important etiquette wise to ensure you write a thank you card as soon as possible mentioning each gift personally if you go this way though. That way everyone feels their gift was acknowledged and appreciated original.gif

#5 EsmeLennox

Posted 24 November 2012 - 09:08 AM

QUOTE (baddmammajamma @ 24/11/2012, 07:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Give a heartfelt thanks in person when/if a loved one hands you a present.

Then open the gifts after the event and write heartfelt, prompt thank you notes.

Enjoy your time with your family and friends!


This is what I would do.

#6 CountryFeral

Posted 24 November 2012 - 09:11 AM

QUOTE (baddmammajamma @ 24/11/2012, 10:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Give a heartfelt thanks in person when/if a loved one hands you a present.

Then open the gifts after the event and write heartfelt, prompt thank you notes.

Enjoy your time with your family and friends!


Baddmammajamma has it in one.

If you have their email addresses a photo of you holding said gift with the goofy "Awwwww.... little tiny socks!" smile would be good too.

#7 CharliMarley

Posted 24 November 2012 - 09:19 AM

Baby showers have only been in vogue for the last 20 years or so and before that, people who wanted to buy you something, did so and brought it around after the baby was born or brought it to the hospital. This I think is better than a baby shower, which to me is a present expectation and not everyone can afford all these parties and present giving, especially if you have had big parties this year. I would decline the baby shower and just let people give if they want to and not feel obliged.

#8 wish*upon*a*star

Posted 24 November 2012 - 09:19 AM

Agree with PP.
Thank you notes are lovely original.gif

#9 Feral Mozzie

Posted 24 November 2012 - 09:23 AM

Thank you notes it is! Thanks all.

#10 BBV

Posted 24 November 2012 - 11:35 AM

I would open them later, if ppl are offended because u didn't open them at the BBQ - bad luck! And coming from the point of view of someone who didn't bring a gift as the invite stipulated no gifts, it was very uncomfortable when all gifts were opened at the shower!

#11 Feral Mozzie

Posted 24 November 2012 - 01:17 PM

QUOTE (BBV @ 24/11/2012, 12:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would open them later, if ppl are offended because u didn't open them at the BBQ - bad luck! And coming from the point of view of someone who didn't bring a gift as the invite stipulated no gifts, it was very uncomfortable when all gifts were opened at the shower!


That's what I was thinking.

#12 JustBeige

Posted 24 November 2012 - 01:25 PM

QUOTE (baddmammajamma @ 24/11/2012, 10:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Give a heartfelt thanks in person when/if a loved one hands you a present.

Then open the gifts after the event and write heartfelt, prompt thank you notes.

Enjoy your time with your family and friends!

This is what I would do also.

Just make sure your mum is onboard with it all so she can also answer the "when is she opening the presents" questions

#13 lamarque

Posted 24 November 2012 - 01:33 PM

Yep open later.  I hate it when presents are opened in front of people.  

I've been burnt though.  This couple had an engagement party and had a registry for it.  There was an $800 coffee table on the list and the party was a BBQ.  I don't mind registry for wedding but not for engagement.  Anyway ours was the third coffee maker to be opened - it was excruciating and highly awkward.  laugh.gif

#14 50ftqueenie

Posted 24 November 2012 - 01:39 PM

Sitting around watching presents get opened is usually my cue to quaff champagne and attack the cheese board with gusto. Believe me when I tell you no one will be disappointed if you open the gifts later.

#15 elle-M

Posted 24 November 2012 - 03:59 PM

Definitely don't open presents until later, it's your BBQ you can do what you want.

For our engagement party years ago we didn't want any presents (for similar reasons you mentioned in your original post) so we specifically said on the invite "please no presents". I despise baby showers for the reason that they are purely all about presents.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Ambulance service under fire: baby seats to go, response times 'worse than ever'

The NSW Ambulance Service is removing child-safety seats from ambulances, while the Victorian service is facing criticism over lengthy response times following the death of a three-year-old.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Is e-reading to your toddler story time or just screen time?

When reading increasingly means swiping pages on a device, and we're advised to read to their children early and often, should parents be turning to e-readers for storytime?

Community mourns inspiring young dad

A young dad who fought a five-year battle with cancer has been remembered for his inspiring legacy at a funeral service attended by hundreds of family and friends this week.

Meningococcal kills Queensland toddler

Public health authorities say the death of a toddler in north Queensland from meningococcal disease highlights the danger the illness poses.

Nicole Kidman: 'I hope every month that I'm pregnant'

Nicole Kidman is hoping to add to her family, but says she's doubtful it will happen.

Recall: Aldi Wooden London Bus play set

Aldi has announced a recall of their popular Wooden London Bus play set.

Great gift ideas for first birthdays

From soft toys to balance bikes, here are some great ideas for first birthday gifts.

Mum learnt she was pregnant hours before giving birth

Kim Walsh arrived at the doctor with abdominal cramps. Hours later, she was cradling the baby experts told her she could never have.

How cancer has made me a better, happier person

I'm a far better person post-cancer than I ever was before. The goal now is to stay around long enough to find out who I can become, and what I can achieve.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Warnings over child pain relief doses

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has warned parents and carers over a "confusing" pain relief dosage system.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.