Jump to content

Telling mum
is it fair to ask her to keep a secret?


  • Please log in to reply
21 replies to this topic

#1 RellBell

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:16 AM

I am having lunch with my mum today, and I want to tell her about my pregnancy (i'm 9weeks), but i'm going away for 2 weeks on a cruise the week after next and i'm not sure it's fair to ask her to keep a secret for me for that long. And will she be able to keep a secret or will she end up blurting it out while she's away.

I just need someone to talk to about this!

#2 Pssst...

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:23 AM

If you're not sure she can keep the secret - and you really want her to do so - then don't tell. If she tells someone and you don't think you'll mind then tell her.

For this bub I told my mum at around 6 weeks but I knew she would keep it quiet until we were ready to tell everyone and she did.

Congratulations!


#3 Duck-o-lah

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:25 AM

Depends what she's like at keeping secrets wink.gif
I found confiding in my mum invaluable.  I didn't want to tell many people, but I really needed someone to be excited for me. I think it's fair, as long as you don't think she'll struggle with it.

#4 pinkcupcakes

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:26 AM

its so exciting, isnt it, and so tempting to tell ppl! esp your mum. but maybe going away for 2 weeks is just the thing you need to keep the secret safe for that little bit longer... i would wait until you get back and then tell your mum. (btw, mums always seem to have to tell SOMEONE, its too exciting for them.) so tell your mum when you want everyone else to find out, IMHO. hope that helps. have a lovely cruise! original.gif

#5 nakedrhubarb

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:27 AM

Congratulations.

I would only tell your mother if you don't mind her accidentally letting it slip.

I told my mother I was pregnant very early on with my first and she ended up telling other members of the family 'because they were planning a wedding'. I was quite upset because I had wanted to tell everyone myself. Second time around I still wanted to tell Mum early so I just made sure that I told her and then told everyone else straight away.

I can sympathise with the impatience.

#6 ~buzz~

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:32 AM

Congrats original.gif

I told my mum at 4 weeks because I couldn't imagine not telling her and told her not to say anything which she didn't

If you think she can keep it a secret I would tell her otherwise just wait

#7 Koobie83

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:42 AM

I told my Mum and Dad at 6 weeks and swore them to keeping it to themselves. Did they? Nope! They kept it from the people I didn't want them telling - but they told all of their workmates, friends, other family, old neighbours we haven't seen in 10 years. I wasn't too happy about it. I'm fairly superstitious and didn't want them announcing it to everyone too early.


If your Mum is like mine and is likely to tell everyone maybe wait until you are back! If you can trust her, why not? haha.

#8 No girls here

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:46 AM

Not if you're not sure she can keep a secret.  I know my mum keeps secrets 100% so I would tell her but I know my MIL would let it slip if she was excited about it.

#9 MrsLexiK

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:51 AM

We told our parents the same day. I knew they may each tell someone that I didn't know too well or someone they knew I wouldn't mind if I didn't tell. They didn't tell family though. I know when my step sister and sister in laws have said they are pregnant I have had to tell someone so I can share my excitement about being an aunt. It is always someone who doesn't really know the person.

#10 suzy-c

Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:55 AM

My opinion is there really is no safe time to wait, for telling everyone about pregnancy. No matter when you tell people, or what happens with your pregnancy, you're going to need support. That's why I vote for not worrying who finds out at 9 weeks.

We told everyone at 5 weeks. They all said that knowing early made the pregnancy drag on for them, but apart from that, there were no other consequences. original.gif

#11 namie

Posted 24 November 2012 - 08:06 AM

My mum is absolutely hopeless at keeping secrets. Even when she really, really tries because she knows she's hopeless at it. It's actually become a bit of a running joke now, she's that bad at it.

I would never tell her anything I didn't want anyone else to know about for weeks.

We announced both pregnancies at 13 weeks to my entire immediate family (mum, sister, brother, SIL) at the same time.

#12 RellBell

Posted 24 November 2012 - 08:10 AM

I think I will wait. Mum is pretty good at keeping secrets, but I can understand how this one would be hard - I mean it's MY big secret and even i'm having trouble keeping it.

#13 bright*future

Posted 24 November 2012 - 10:02 AM

I have been giving this sort of thing a lot of thought lately. I know a big secret of a friend of mine. She knows the same secret on my part.

I would never ever ever tell, but I know no one else knows. So hypothetically, if someone else ever found out, would she assume it was me that let it slip?  I would absolutely hate for our friendship to be damaged.

My conclusion, don't ask people to keep secrets.

#14 Nervy

Posted 24 November 2012 - 10:27 AM

My mum has known since i was 5 weeks, I'm still not ready to tell aunties & cousins etc and she is struggling so much and cant understand why she can't tell the world. Even to the point where it is creating tension between us (sadly). Poor Mum, she is just excited!



#15 Bazinga

Posted 24 November 2012 - 10:37 AM

QUOTE (pinkcupcakes @ 24/11/2012, 07:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
(btw, mums always seem to have to tell SOMEONE, its too exciting for them.)


This  wink.gif

I travelled to NSW and told my parents and the inlaws when we were 14 weeks.

I hadn't told anyone we were trying for a baby because it was AC and I didn't want the questions. They were upset we hadn't told them earlier but I knew they wouldn't be able to contain themselves and would tell everyone.

I'll be waiting until 12 weeks next time also.

#16 Feral Becky

Posted 24 November 2012 - 10:58 AM

QUOTE (FluffyOscar @ 24/11/2012, 11:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>



That link doesn't work for me

#17 kay11

Posted 24 November 2012 - 11:12 AM

QUOTE (Koobie83 @ 24/11/2012, 08:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I told my Mum and Dad at 6 weeks and swore them to keeping it to themselves. Did they? Nope! They kept it from the people I didn't want them telling - but they told all of their workmates, friends, other family, old neighbours we haven't seen in 10 years. I wasn't too happy about it. I'm fairly superstitious and didn't want them announcing it to everyone too early.


If your Mum is like mine and is likely to tell everyone maybe wait until you are back! If you can trust her, why not? haha.



I love my mum, but yeah, she blabbed it too.

#18 SeaPrincess

Posted 24 November 2012 - 01:46 PM

We didn't tell anyone until we were ready to tell everyone, which with #1 was just after 12 weeks.
With the next 2, we were living interstate so timing for telling everyone meant that it was a bit earlier.  We were back home when I found out with DD, so everyone knew at about 6 weeks.

If you don't want people to know, there's nothing wrong with waiting to tell your mum. Then you don't have to worry about it, and she won't be nursing a secret she is dying to tell.

R

#19 PrincessPeach

Posted 25 November 2012 - 01:53 PM

I would with both my mum & MIL  but both are clams & good ones!

I think it really depends upon your relationship with her - if you are close & you know she can keep the secret, then go for it. If you think she may not be able to keep it, then just hold off until after your trip.

#20 namie

Posted 25 November 2012 - 02:33 PM

QUOTE (FluffyOscar @ 24/11/2012, 11:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>



QUOTE (LindsayMK @ 24/11/2012, 11:58 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That link doesn't work for me

Take out the word 'kids' and replace with 'baby'. The link then worked for me.

#21 lozoodle

Posted 26 November 2012 - 06:41 AM

Of course its ok. Gee I told my mum the day I found out, she knew we'd been TTC and I was busting to tell her, especially as my EDD is her birthday! I didn't even need to tell her to keep it secret, she just knew to do so until I had told everyone else.

#22 VJs Mummy

Posted 26 November 2012 - 06:59 AM

My  1st i found out when i was 2 weeks pregnant we didnt tell anyone till i was 12 weeks and i still wasnt ready for alot of people to find out my partners mum kept it a secret unfortunately my mum didnt
2nd one i didnt tell till i was bout 14 weeks i knew at 6-7 weeks
3rd one didnt tell my mum till i was 15 weeks sadly lost at 20 weeks
4th one didnt tell my mum or anyone besides my partner until we passed 20 weeks 1st rainbow baby
5th have told a few close friends that i know wont say anything




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

What you need to know about ovulation tests

Most people who are trying to get pregnant know that the best time to conceive is in the few days after ovulation.

Surviving a miscarriage at sea

A cruise with your family is among the most absurd settings for a miscarriage, but it is certainly not the worst.

Mum of three denied tubal ligation because she's 'too young'

A 22-year-old woman who is pregnant with her third child has had her requests for a tubal ligation denied because doctors believe she is too young.

Slapped cheek syndrome a danger for pregnant women

When a pregnant woman is infected, the likelihood that her foetus will be infected is about 50 per cent.

The signs and symptoms of ovulation

If you're hoping to conceive, one of the most important things you need to know about is ovulation.

We all know 'mum guilt' - but what about 'dad guilt'?

I remember the first time I felt mum guilt, within days of having my first child. The feeling was so intense I rang my own mum to debrief, hoping she'd tell me I wouldn't feel this way very often.

Kristen Bell urges mums to be their own superhero

When it comes to motherhood, actress Kristen Bell is her own superhero and she thinks other mums should be too.

Pram review: GB Pockit travel stroller

In a world of ever-shrinking gadgets, it's no surprise prams are getting smaller. We put the record-holding GB Pockit through its paces.

The beautiful Bombol Bouncer is back

The gorgeous Bombol Bouncer is back - and boasts two chic new colours to boot.

Gadgets and accessories for wine lovers

Looking for a gift for the wine lover in your life - or just something for yourself?

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

The adventure doesn't have to stop: here's how to travel with baby

The best part about our outdoor adventures? It makes my husband and I better parents, since we're happier while adventuring.

Woman crashes car to save mum and baby's life

A good samaritan saved a mother and baby from being seriously injured by crashing her own car into theirs.

Should you tell your boss about your postnatal depression?

Returning to work after having a baby can be daunting, and when you're experiencing postnatal depression or anxiety it can seem even more overwhelming.

TV noise can slow toddler word learning, study finds

Background noise from the radio or TV might be making it harder for your toddler to learn learn new words.

Teresa Palmer on her molar pregnancy and 'unsexy' conception

Teresa Palmer is basking in pregnancy glow as she awaits the arrival of her new baby.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

5 ways having a baby is different when you have older children

So much parenting advice is geared towards having your first baby, but what's it like having a baby when you already have children?

You can now make your own plush Falkor

Fans of The NeverEnding Story – of which there are certainly plenty – went crazy for these plush Falkors when they first went on sale last year.

Baby steps

10 things that will actually happen after having a baby

I thought I had prepared myself for motherhood. Then my baby girl arrived and knocked everything flat.

Having a baby: expectations vs reality

People love to warn you about what to expect when having a baby, but they can be way off when it comes to the reality.

Are we having fun yet? Thinking positively as a parent

Motherhood is wonderful ... except when it sucks.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

When breastfeeding doesn't go with the flow

Breast is best, except when it's not. And in our case, it most definitely wasn't.

'If you don't vaccinate your kids you're a bloody idiot'

The photos are heartbreaking and almost too difficult to look at, but Kayley Burke is begging other parents to take notice.

Why pregnant women should eat chocolate

In news that will make expectant mums jump for joy - and reach for a block of Cadbury - scientists have revealed chocolate could provide health benefits during pregnancy.

The baby born with an incredible head of hair

If you're in any way challenged in the follicle department, prepare to feel a jolt of envy - at a two-month-old baby.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

 

Free ticket offer

Essential Baby & Toddler Show - Sydney

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores, will be held in Sydney on 23-25 September. Register for your free ticket now to save $20!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.