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Do you think it is ok to swear at your children?
84 replies to this topic
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:03 PM
I was in the shopping centre car park today and parked near another car. A mother got out of the car obviously in a bad mood and started telling at her daughter 'Hurry the **** up. How long does it f***ing take for ****s sake" her about 4 year old daughter was trying to get out of the car crying her little eyes out. Now I don't judge a mum for being grumpy or being short tempered with a child especially seeing as though who knows how frustrating the child was being beforehand but I was really taken aback by the way the mum spoke to the little girl. I know I have lived a very sheltered life, no one ever spoke to me that way growing up or now. I think I would cry too if someone did!
Do you think it is ok to swear at your children? Do you do it in public or at home in private?
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:05 PM
I don't think it's ok to swear at anytime, let alone around children.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:07 PM
No I don't and I never would. I had a friend in primary school whose mother would say things like "stop being such a moron" and call her kids idiots, and all sorts of things. I always felt really uncomfortable with it.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:08 PM
Of course I don't think it's OK. Doesn't mean I haven't done it.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:09 PM
I think you already know the answer.
I don't even swear in front of my child, so no, I would not swear at him. But I tell you, when he is not in ear shot I can go off like a sailor.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:10 PM
No never ok.
Dd a few weeks ago broke my script sunglasses $400 worth took a HELL of a lot for me to just walk away. Once she was in time out and i was out of hearing shot i let rip lol i cryed i was that angry.
Nobody is perfect but there is always ways to avoid swearing at your child.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:11 PM
I don't think it is ever ok to swear at children
I was in a store once and a lady with a baby in a stroller and a little girl suddenly stated yelling at the storeperson "**** you, you c***. You can shove your pathetic customer service up your fat a*se. You are nothing but a fat s*ut and I hope you crash your car on the way home coz at least that will improve your dog ugly face"
I was so shocked that I just stared slightly opened mouth at her. The lady's friend was laughing away and slapping her on the back. Her little girl was just wide eyed standing there. Poor poor child
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:12 PM
What chocolate addict said.
We all make mistakes but it sounds like that mum might have been a regular.
I don't think it's really ok to swear at anyone, especially not kids.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:23 PM
No, no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. I started this thread because I mentioned it to a friend - just a normal run of the mill mum like myself and her reply was that she would only do that at home. I was a bit shocked by that too and started to wonder if many people think it is acceptable. I kind of want people who might do this to know that it is not acceptable. I didn't say anything at the time of course as I probably would have gotten a mouthful as well and I guess not my place. I was also really mad that my own child was subjected to that in the shopping centre car park.
I'm mad because obviously this little girl is going to grow up thinking it is ok to be spoken to like this. It makes me think about my job as a teacher and how the way I speak to children in my class sometimes may be one of the few examples they have of how people should be spoken to and treated. It makes me want to be even more patient with them and caring towards them.
I hope people don't think this is a 'Look at me, I'm a perfect parent' type thread. I don't think the incident means the women is a bad mother and perhaps it was the way she was treated and it is what she knows. Some people think it is normal and I think that is sad.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:26 PM
No never okay. Under your breath is one thing but directly at a child, no way. Once upon a time I would've been really awkward seeing something like that but nowadays I'm old and grumpy and would probably say something. Swear in front of your own child if you like, but in public when my children are in earshot it's my business too. Poor kid.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:33 PM
No way! I don't even talk to my cats like that, let alone children.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:39 PM
I feel so sad for the poor little child. I get frustrated too, but I leave the room/count to 10/breath etc. I don't want my kids to see me lose it & think that is an acceptable way to behave. At least it's not acceptable in my circle of friends & professional life. Maybe I'm sheltered but I consider it abuse.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:42 PM
Its never ok....ever.
But in all honesty im sure a large % of us have done t once or twice even though we know its wrong. Though that sounds extreme. Doesnt just sound like she accidentally let it slip :S
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:46 PM
I used to have a neighbour who I would always hear swearing at her ~6 year old children. It always made me cringe.
I think we are all human and slip up occasionally when we are very upset but as long as we explain ourselves later that we help our children to understand that we are only human and that we have been greatly upset.
I think that if someone is swearing regularly at their children it is a sign that they really aren't coping as a parent and need to seek help to find better strategies to cope.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:46 PM
Absolutely not ok. I'd rather see a child smacked with a flat hand once on the butt (though I don't think that is ideal either) than being emotionally abused as you have described.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:46 PM
I swear but I dont think its okay to swear at anyone. Of course it happens but casual swearing in conversation is really something I'm trying to stop doing. Telling someone to "hurry the **** up" is rude whether its a child or adult.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:46 PM
No. That would never be okay.
I understand it could happen in the heat of the moment once or twice, we all make mistakes, but it's still the wrong thing to do.
Edited by JBaby, 23 November 2012 - 09:48 PM.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:47 PM
No, I don't think it's okay at all. I think it's bullying and I think as far a 4 yo goes it's verbally abusive.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:49 PM
I don't think it's okay to swear at anyone, especially not a child. I agree, it's verbal abuse.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 10:00 PM
No. I don't swear a whole lot, never at work cause that is unprofessional and never at anyone cause I feel that to be rude, unnecessary and often reflects badly upon the person doing the swearing. Definitely not at a child. It would hurt me to accidentally say something that hurt them and I would never do it on purpose.
Completely agree no one is perfect but that doesnt make it ok.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 10:13 PM
I don't actually see the big deal.
I don't agree with swearing AT the child in terms of calling them names, i.e. 'you ****ing this/that'
But I don't actually think "how long does it f*cking take FFS!" is any worse than, say "how long does it have to take, for crying out loud!" which isn't swearing, but the same sentiment.
I don't see anything particularly magical about the swear word in that scenario, that makes it worse.
I feel differently in terms of personal insults, because I think there is probably a scale - I would not like to hear someone say "why did you do that, you silly girl", but I'd infinitely prefer it to "why did you do that, you f*cking idiot" - the latter is an escalation beyond all appropriateness to a child.
But when it's swearing as a type of exclamation, which is what the first is, I don't really consider that 'swearing at your child', or anything I'd particularly either notice or care about.
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