No-cry = lots of crying?
Am I doing it wrong?
, Nov 23 2012 08:59 PM
9 replies to this topic
Posted 23 November 2012 - 08:59 PM
I read no-cry sleep solution, and I thought I understood what was needed but with so many interruptions I'm wondering if I missed something...
Because I'm getting lots of crying. I want to stop feeding my dd to sleep as it means I'm the only one who can put her down. I'm going back to work soon plus I'm sick of feeling guilty on the incredibly rare occasion I go out.
So last night and tonight I decided to change the end of the routine so she is fed until just about asleep, then put in the bassinet and rocked. Both nights, she cried a lot! I picked her up, I cuddled, I offered the boob again (but only until settled) and each time as soon as I put her down, full blown screaming crying.
I guess I should expect this as this is what happens the few times Dh has put her to sleep.
Last night, she did eventually calm down and as i sat next to her and wolfed down my dinner she actually self settled. Tonight, she went straight to screaming, knew what was coming, and never quieted when in the bassinet until eventually, with her still screaming on my shoulder, I noticed she was looking incredibly tired so put her down and with a little rocking she was asleep.
Surely this isn't how no-cry is supposed to go!
Edited by WaitForIt, 23 November 2012 - 09:03 PM.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:04 PM
I tried the no cry sleep solution a few different times with my youngest. It made her cry more than ever, clearly I was doing something wrong...
I gave up, eventually she started going to sleep by herself and from about 19 months she's been a champion sleeper.
I realise that is completely unhelpful to you right now though!
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:04 PM
How old is ur bub? Have u tried the sleep stores articles? I got some great info on there to slowly & gently wean my son from needing to be feed to sleep when he was 4-5months old & it worked beautifully. (sorry I don't know what the no-cry sleep solution is)
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:05 PM
Your little girl was born on the same day as mine!
But the no-cry sleep solution is actually missing a word. It should read: The No Cry Alone Sleep Solution.
Crying is ok, it will happen while she gets used to it. If you're not leaving her alone then it's not controlled crying or anything and it won't do her any harm. Hug her, love her, let her cry in your arms or with your arms on her at least, she'll get used to the change eventually!
Here's a nice article about crying that I found really helpful when my first was younger.... http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/09/7-rea...-babies-crying/
and this one is nice too http://www.peaceful-parent.com/article_childrens_cries.php
Edited by tick, 23 November 2012 - 09:43 PM.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:17 PM
We used some of the techniques, but we never quite managed no crying at all. The most successful bit for us was the Pantley dance. I also placed DS in his cot, and sort of hugged him while he was in it, before slowly withdrawing my arms.
The techniques in the book did help, but it took a while, and there was still some crying. I was okay with a bit of crying, as I figure there is a big difference between crying in the loving arms of a parent, versus alone in their bedroom.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:22 PM
Yep, there's a word missing. There is a bit of crying as they get used to the changes, but they're not crying in a dark room by themselves. And it's not a quick route - changes like these take time.
We're getting there, DS doesn't feed to sleep any more but is content to be cuddled to sleep in our arms. We're moving towards being able to put him down after his lullaby while he's still awake but he's a bit of a way off yet.
Posted 23 November 2012 - 09:27 PM
I think the book takes 10 weeks? anyway it is a while. But there is also a difference between a baby crying because they are upset about the change and crying because they need comfort. Trust yourself. In my MG we think that if we can ignore the cry then the bub is ok but if the cry is upsetting us they need to be picked up.
Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:22 PM
Well tonight went a lot smoother! I decided the rocking wasn't working. Her bassinet is pretty solid and doesn't rock very well. So instead, I put my hand on her chest and tapped underneath it below her head. I started this as soon as I put her down and until she went asleep.
Her bedtime was an hour earlier than usual as today was a bit of a mess and affected her naps. She woke up after about 15mins, I tried the tap thing to get her back to sleep but she started to cry so I gave her a feed and started all over again.
So not 100% no tears but close to it! Such a relief! I hope this works again tomorrow.
Edited by WaitForIt, 24 November 2012 - 07:22 PM.
Posted 24 November 2012 - 07:37 PM
No advice just wanted to say well done on the progress.
Sounds like you may have discovered a nice cue for your daughter.
Don't worry too much if there's a bit of going backwards - progress is progress, you're both learning!
Posted 24 November 2012 - 09:23 PM
Yep I agree with PPs, just persist. We have a thing where if we are making a change, we try it for 10 mins, next night 20, next night 30, til DS goes 'oh, now I get it'. Also remember some babies find it harder to get to sleep than others. Sometimes the crying is a bit of stress release (not shrieking, of course, but a bit of a cry), DS has recently started doing a funny kind of laugh as he winds down to sleep but will still cry a little. Sometimes *just* as I think hmm, this is about to escalate, he crashes to sleep. So don't feel that there needs to be no crying.
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