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Kids WANTS
versus your IDEALS


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#1 Charlie & Lola

Posted 22 November 2012 - 10:35 PM

What do you do when your DD asks Santa for a Bratz but you want to buy her a custom made hand felted Waldorf doll?

Or when you son would kill (excuse the pun) for a Semi Automatic Nerf Blaster Gun with 200 'bullets' and you imagine him being overjoyed and excited about a science kit with a 1000 micro-ism zoom lens...

Ok so I am being slightly facetious, but seriously what do you do when your kids are just not on the same page when it comes to their Santa wishlist?

I don't want to scar them for life if Santa doesn't bring what they asked for however  I also don't want to conform to the masses and allow them to become victims of the media and advertising which insists that to be cool and part of the in crowd they must have a piece of this mass produced, over advertised, inappropriate cr*p.

#2 Cranky Kitten

Posted 22 November 2012 - 10:41 PM

Not sure, but if you figure it out, could you let me know?

Otherwise my only suggestion is to let Santa bring a modest amount of the mass produced plastic stuff for Christmas and have the waldorf doll and science kit as birthday presents?

#3 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 22 November 2012 - 10:47 PM

I'm guessing a Waldorf doll is a collectable type doll rather than a playing one? If so, I think playing with a doll would be more fun than looking at one. As for the Nerf gun vs microscope, it really depends on the child. Are they one who would sit for any length of time looking through a microscope or are they more of an action man type? If they want the gun I would go for that rather than give them what you would like them to want.

#4 Charlie & Lola

Posted 22 November 2012 - 10:53 PM

QUOTE
I'm guessing a Waldorf doll is a collectable type doll rather than a playing one?
Nooo Waldorf dolls are definitely for playing with. They are gorgeous and awesome and promote imaginative play so much more than Baby Bjorn or Barbie. I will try and find a pic or link.
This is the problem. Society is misinformed about the amazing resources and products out there because we are sucked in by the advertising of the multi nationals.

#5 Charlie & Lola

Posted 22 November 2012 - 10:54 PM



Waldorf Doll Gallery

#6 monkeys mum

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:05 PM

Will your kids like the Waldorf doll and science set? Will they use them and get enjoyment out of them? If you know your kids you should know what they will enjoy at the end of the day.

The upside is your choices have many more positives then their wants.

Another thing to consider is how do you do Santa gifts? We do a santa sack that fits about three to four toys and a few books and a stocking from santa about $50 - $70 worth tops. Then their main present is from us, this year is 7" tablets and head phones, and a handmade case, then a few handmade gifts. If you did similar the doll and science set could be from you and one or two wants from Santa. Or just remind them that Santa selects presents for them that he knows they will love and get a lot of enjoyment out of, then suggest wants to anyone asking for ideas for them. Oh and 200bullets is a pain to reload lol

#7 the.supers

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:47 PM

When my now 11 year old was 3, she desperately wanted a Baby Born doll. (Thanks DH for letting her watch Saturday Morning Disney with all the adverts which is how she came to know about the doll).  I was happy enough to buy her a baby doll but couldn't  see what was so special about the Baby Born doll, I thought she would like a fabric style cuddly doll more - and the Baby Born was outrageously priced in my opinion at about $70 and I really didn't have the money for it.

When her birthday was coming up she asked and asked me for the BB and I didn't get it for her.  Soon after it was Christmas and she said she was going to ask Santa for it.  Santa said, Yes, I'll bring you a doll. So DD who was now only just 4 was sure she would be getting the BB.

So my dilemma - do I get it for her?  Or do I not?  Do I want to do the santa thing?

In the end I got it for her.  She was over the moon, totally delighted and has really loved that doll.  Now at 11, she sits in the back of the wardrobe wearing a dress that DD and her nanna made together, all of her other dolls have been given away.

I can remember when DD found out that Santa wasn't real.  She couldn't quite believe it. She asked "Well who bought me Baby Born then?" When I told her that I did, she was amazed as all of the kids know that I am not one to splurge on name brand stuff like that.  She said - "Mum you really must love me to get me that doll when you knew I really wanted it. Thank you so much I love her."

Of course I show my love in many ways, but this overpriced doll has turned into a real symbol of our love, how I went above and beyond for her when it mattered to her.  (The fact that I have also donated blood to her when she needed it is somehow more symbolic to me than to her....)

So my vote is for get them the thing they will love....

#8 EsmeLennox

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:47 PM

I try to compromise. Give them a little of what they want, but throw in a bit of what I think is important too.

#9 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 23 November 2012 - 02:24 AM

I liked the
'Something they want
something they need
something to wear
and something to read"
idea, so they still get a choice, but wont fill the house with plastic fantastic stuff.

#10 Suz01

Posted 23 November 2012 - 04:23 AM

QUOTE (trishalishous @ 23/11/2012, 03:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I liked the
'Something they want
something they need
something to wear
and something to read"
idea, so they still get a choice, but wont fill the house with plastic fantastic stuff.



I'm using this every year from now on!!

#11 mumto3princesses

Posted 23 November 2012 - 05:28 AM

My girls know that they won't get everything they ask for. They don't always do a wish list for Santa but if they do its just a wish list. They did a wish list for each other so their sisters knew what kinds of things they would like which are all things with a $10 limit. They know they won't get everything on the list but that wouldn't be fun if they said they just want one thing and then they get it.

They know Santa won't bring something that we don't want them to have and Santa will quite often bring them something he thinks they would like even if they haven't asked for it. They have asked for all sorts of things over the years and haven't got it but they have been really happy with what they did get. Although when DD#1 was little she was a little disappointed not to wake up in a new 2 story house with a pool LOL!

#12 unique_gem

Posted 23 November 2012 - 05:40 AM

I get my son to write a list of 10 things he wants from Santa.  We talk about how its a wish list and Santa will only bring one thing from the list.  I have always found stuff off that list that I am happy to buy him for Christmas and he is happy  biggrin.gif .  This year Santa is bringing him an Ipod touch.  He has wanted it for about 2 yrs now so I figure he should look after it  biggrin.gif .  He had written Nerf guns on his list for the last 2-3 yrs at least he knows I will never buy one so he bought one with his own money recently  wink.gif .

#13 FiveAus

Posted 23 November 2012 - 05:44 AM

Wow, the Waldorf dolls are gorgeous. Thanks for the idea, I'm struggling to find something meaningful for my 15 month old granddaughter.......she has a house full of brightly coloured plastic rubbish. The coverall doll might be just the go....soft, gentle and friendly.

#14 spottyladybug

Posted 23 November 2012 - 05:46 AM

Santa rarely gave us what we asked for - but we were mighty grateful for what we did get. The Waldrof doll is an amazing gift to give (wish Santa would bring me one!) and probably in the same category as the bratz doll - not sure about the nerf gun vs the science kit (although the science kit would be awesome especially if your kid is into science biggrin.gif) If they end up really cut up about it maybe Santa can write a letter to explain why he gave them those items and to tell them to be a tad more gracious?

#15 JBH

Posted 23 November 2012 - 05:47 AM

For me it depends why you don't want to buy what they want. If it's because you have an idealogical objection (for me that's the case with weapons, possibly also Bratz), or it's too expensive, or they've asked for too much, then by all means don't buy it. Similarly, if you think they won't really like what they are asking for, perhaps because they don't fully understand, don't buy it. However, if it's just that you wish they preferred something more to your taste, I think it's best to buy what they really want.


#16 idignantlyright

Posted 23 November 2012 - 06:03 AM

The waldorf dolls are nice, but $255 for a doll they will play with and possibly lose somewhere. We have all seen how kids lose their beloved teddy bears and toys.

My kids haven't even mentioned anything for christmas yet.
Awhile ago DD13 wanted an Iphone. We settled on the Nokia N8 we had in the draw.

#17 Crinkle cut

Posted 23 November 2012 - 06:05 AM

At my house, Santa was likely to bring things Mum disaproved of and therefore wouldn't buy.  How else are they going to get their hands on what they really desire?  I don't think getting a toy once a year that Mum doesn't like is going to lead to blindly following the masses.  As an example, my son got a big transformer last year.  No way will I pay that much for a toy, even if I can afford it, but Santa did ;-).

Unfortunately a boy at school burst my son's bubble and told him when he was 6 that Santa isn't real.  :-(.  I wish now that I had of lied when my son asked me.  He was SO upset, as opposed to my daughter who worked it out herself when she was 9 and told me how awesome I was for all the effort I'd  gone to and the gifts I'd chosen.

Edited by ~maryanne~, 23 November 2012 - 06:06 AM.


#18 2bundles

Posted 23 November 2012 - 06:06 AM

I buy what they want.

Think how you feel when you ask your dh for something specific and you get a morphed version of it.   You always think "thanks but its not quite what I wanted". Kids are the same.

Btw - I let Gran buy the Nerf gun as it was a bridge too far for me, but we wanted it and his little face lit up when he saw it

#19 llg

Posted 23 November 2012 - 06:07 AM

My honest opinion in this situation is to give them what they want.

Your idea of  the doll and the science kit I assume is because you think they are more educational and I have to be honest if this is the case I disagree with you.

The doll you want and I admit I am basing this on the picture will introduce no more interaction than a Bratz doll.   They can still do the hair on a bratz doll,   they can still dress a bratz doll they can still play interactive communication games with a bratz doll.  Everything they can do with the pictured doll they can do with any doll.  

Now the science kit I assume is going to produce some inner curiosity or the budding scientist, while they stick something in something and it changes color with them having no understanding or really caring why it does so.   But the Nerf gun gives exercise, hand  eye coordination and increase of spatial ability,  the quick rapidness of understanding distance, the ability without even realising of doubling distance as you get your aim all things that help your brain to function better mathematically.  

If these presents were dangerous I would be of the mind to get something else.  They are not dangerous your ideas are no more educational and it is their present not yours.  Unless of course yours are cheaper then of course stick with a budget.

#20 Crinkle cut

Posted 23 November 2012 - 06:16 AM

QUOTE
Think how you feel when you ask your dh for something specific and you get a morphed version of it. You always think "thanks but its not quite what I wanted". Kids are the same.


Thanks for that. I had never thought of it that way.  I am now going to make even more of an effort the try get what they truely want :-)
  Not that they are giving me any help this year consistantly answering 'I don't know' when I ask them what they want!

#21 a letter to Elise.

Posted 23 November 2012 - 06:16 AM

I think those dolls are beautiful, but when I was a little girl, they would NOT have been a happy substitute for a barbie.

Most importantly, you can't brush their hair!!!

I get DS what he wants - but I try and talk him into things that I think are suitable by talking them up!

He really wants a sand and water table this year, which I am contemplating, but I'm worried about the mess, so I might talk about how fabulous a tricycle would be instead.

DD will be getting something I want, which is a Family Tree House toy. I love it, and she's too little to know the difference...


#22 BadCat

Posted 23 November 2012 - 06:42 AM

You teach them that the stuff on ads is NEVER as good as it looks.  You talk it down as much as the ad talks it up.

And sometimes you let them have the crap just to show them that it's crap.

Of course not all of it IS crap.  Sometimes the mass produced stuff actually works and gives them enjoyment for a long time.

And finally, it doesn't have to be one or the other.  Nothing wrong with getting one of their popular mass produced choices and one of your choices.

My kids are at the point where they don't bother askiing for the stuff they see advertised and in fact rarely ask for anything for christmas at all.  I asked the other day what they would like and they said I should get whatever I thought they'd enjoy because I usually chose better than them anyway.   laughing2.gif

#23 CupOfCoffee

Posted 23 November 2012 - 06:53 AM

If I can afford to, I try to buy them what they really want, and maybe something I want them to want   laugh.gif

So this year my daughter is getting a dolls house (her third one, she loves them and asked santa for a different one (different size for different dolls).

I am also buying a 'feeling' Kimochi that I love (and I think she will love when it comes, but I have been wrong before).

The dolls house is from Santa, the other toy is from us.

My son is getting phone credit (he is a teenager) which he really wants, and I am getting him a PS3 game and some shoes that I think he will like (I am not even going to try and give him something I want him to want at this age).

But I tend to find that kids love what they love, and I am not so sure we have that much influence (I mean my son listened to American hip hop for a while... urgh).


Oh and the.supers, that was a really lovely connection your daughter made when she found out santa wasn't real.

#24 strawberrycakes

Posted 23 November 2012 - 06:57 AM

I buy my DD what she wants but definetley not everything on her wish list.

DD thus year has asked Santa for a particular Barbie & a guitar.  At first I wasn't going to get them for her because she already has heaps of Barbies that rarely get played with & I just don't see the guitar being 'old' enough for her iykwim.  But, then I figured why not, it's what she really wants from Santa & i want to her be happy.  There were a couple of other things on the list that I am just not going to get but I did manage to fulfill the majority of her list by getting the clothes & swimmers she wants original.gif

#25 Orangedrops

Posted 23 November 2012 - 07:01 AM

I try to get my kids the things they want. Luckily they are not into any of the commercial toys as yet although my middle girl has asked for a Dora Toy and a Fireman Sam toy but my 6 year old wants a boomerang and textas. I would draw the line and a toy that I found offensive and that would include brats dolls or those Monster High abominations.




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