Jump to content

On your child's birthday-
Getting all their siblings a present too


  • Please log in to reply
86 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:19 AM

So I came across this for the first time recently, whereby parents get all of their children a present on every child's birthday so they don't feel 'left out'. Obviously the birthday child gets more than one present.

Seems a bit odd to me- I loved my brother's birthday as there was always cake and often a party. I have no recollections of feeling jealous about the presents he got and in fact, used to bask in his reflected pleasure over them. After all, my birthday would come around a few months later.

Is this sibling present thing a new trend? I can't imagine buying into it myself but am wondering what others think.

#2 CupOfCoffee

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:22 AM

To me it kind of negates how special the day is for the actual birthday child.

It is their day and we celebrate it as such.

So we don't buy for both kids on the birthday of one.

#3 -*meh*-

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:25 AM

no a birthday is about the birthday child...

the only time a sibling should be getting any presents is if they share the birthday!



#4 mumto3princesses

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:28 AM

Nope, we don't do that. Not even when our girls were little and it was our twins birthday.

DD1 never felt left out. It's their birthday. She would give her sisters each a present from her. Then when its her birthday her sisters give her a present too. As long as they get some birthday cake they are happy.

#5 sparkles30

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:32 AM

I think it teaches the non-birthday kids a good lesson - everything is not about them, how to celebrate another person and be happy for them etc.

However, this year when my DD turns 4, I will probably give my other DD a little wrapped present as she will be 20 months - old enough to want what her sister is getting, but too young to understand that her turn is coming. She wants to do everything her big sister does so she just wouldn't be able to keep her hands off the presents.

#6 Lolpigs

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:33 AM

No. Seems odd to me and teaching the wrong behaviour. Even if they do feel left out.. oh well it's not their birthday? When their birthday comes around they will be be focus of everything.

#7 gettheetoanunnery

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:35 AM

Not the go here.
Presents only for the birthday girl/boy
Siblings go shopping for the birthday kid, so they get the excitement that is giving as well.
Birthday child has then got three siblings shouting "OPEN MINE FIRST!"
Never had any problems
Just as long as there is cake.
Cakes makes everything better.




#8 BobTony

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:36 AM

My mum did that so that I didn't feel left out when my twin siblings had a birthday. They always got a small present on my birthday too.



#9 Julie3Girls

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:41 AM

My girls get just as excited about their sister's birthday as they do about their own - they love picking out presents for each other, helping to wrap it, who gets to give their present first.

There was never even a thought of getting the non-birthday child a gift. And I don't actually ever recall the other's being upset about not get a present, no matter what the age?  Sure, wanting to help open the present, but little ones are pretty easy to distract.

#10 seayork2002

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:41 AM

I have an only child, but it makes no sense to me

#11 Magnus

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:43 AM

I think I've posted this on EB before when this topic came up. My mum read this as a tip in a book, or something and did this when my brother was little (in the late eighties/ early nineties).

I was annoyed that my brother got a small gift on my birthday. The real problem, though, is that ever since then he has been upset/domineering/weird whenever anyone else has a birthday. He is in his mid twenties and has only just stopped making it all about him. I'm sure there is more to it than that, and a lot of it is personality-based as well.

But I would say: Nooooooo, don't do it. You're making a monster! cry1.gif

More seriously, I think celebrating others and not needing the attention on oneself is a very important lesson to learn.

#12 soontobegran

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:44 AM

It never occured to me to give a present to anyone other than the birthday child. Each child should be 'allowed' their birthday as a special day just for them.
I hope it isn't a new trend, kids do not need this extra feeling of entitlement.

#13 brangisnotaword

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:46 AM

I did it with my littlies when they were much younger.  Maybe just for 2 or 3 years.  Not now.  Don't care watcha think about that, so nerr.

#14 SeaPrincess

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:46 AM

We don't buy everyone a present.
I also send them to school if their birthday is on a school day.
Always cake.

R

#15 CleverChook

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:46 AM

Surely that would take away some of the 'specialness' for the birthday child.  Silly idea in my view.

#16 bakesgirls

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:47 AM

I wouldn't do it, actually I don't think it would have ever occurred to me. The day is about the birthday child, not anyone else. The other siblings also have their own birthday, so they can wait for that day.



#17 I*Love*Christmas

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:47 AM

No I don't think any other siblings need to get a gift as well. They get their turn at another day of the year. On my DDs birthday last year my MIL gave my DS a little present as well which I wasn't happy about as it turned out both of them wanted and fought over that present. Considering my DDs birthday is only a few days before Christmas DS doesn't have to wait long to receive gifts anyway.

#18 BobTony

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:48 AM

It's certainly not a new trend, I'm in my 40s and as I said before, my mum did it.



#19 ~buzz~

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:50 AM

I think its a bit strange and don't know anyone who does it

Birthdays should be a special day for just the birthday child

#20 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:52 AM

When I was a kid I up until about 4 Iyears old  used to get a present for my brother's birthday. Just something small like a colouring book or a teddy bear.

Apparently I used to get really upset and didn't understand why my brother got a present and I didn't.

However, my brother never got a present in return for my birthday! My mum thought he was old enough to know better but a few months ago he brought it up in passing with my mum. He never said anything but always felt like I got treated better and this was just another example of that.

So I wouldn't recommend doing what my parents did!

#21 vanessa71

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:53 AM

I think it's totally unnecessary, everyone gets a birthday so no one is missing out. You get gifts on your, birthday, not on siblings birthdays.

Edited by vanessa71, 22 November 2012 - 11:53 AM.


#22 BadCat

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:54 AM

Not in my family.

#23 Magnus

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:55 AM

Sunnycat, I was also the older sibling that didn't get the extra present. I do still feel like my brother was treated in a more favourable way too.

#24 boatiebabe

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:59 AM

Never heard of this practise!

Don't know anyone who does it.

Don't think it's very common.

#25 tle

Posted 22 November 2012 - 12:00 PM

We do it here. The birthday child gets lots of presents and attention and the other kids (there are 5 in all) each get a small token present of around $20 value (more often than not it's clothes).

The idea is not to prevent the other kids from feeling left out but rather because as a close family we share everything, including the excitement of birthdays.  For us it makes the day so much more fun and exciting for everyone. We all count down the days, how many sleeps etc.

Despite general opinions in this thread it hasn't turned my kids into self centred little monsters  original.gif . Rather, it's one of the many things that helps cement the sibling bond.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Britain's youngest parents: mother 12, father 13

A 12-year-old schoolgirl and her 13-year-old boyfriend are believed to have become Britain?s youngest parents, after the birth of their baby girl earlier this week.

When Prince George met Bilby George

Prince George has met an Aussie marsupial named after him in his first official engagement in Australia.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Pregnant woman dies after doctor removes ovary instead of appendix

When a UK woman went to hospital suffering appendicitis, doctors mistakenly removed her healthy ovary - with tragic consequences.

The milestones I can't wait to celebrate

Nothing can beat the feeling of witnessing that first smile, first step and first word - but here's a list of 'firsts' I'm really looking forward to now.

How you develop in your baby's first year

Just as babies undergo rapid growth as they learn and change in their first year, we?re learning and changing quickly as parents, too. Don?t underestimate the developmental stages you go through when you have a baby.

Can you make your baby smarter even before birth?

A product new to Australia claims to help babies be born "as intelligent as possible", but not all experts agree on the benefits of educating babies while still in the womb.

How a mother's love helped unearth the skills of an autistic savant

Autistic savant Ping Lian Yeak, a prodigious artist who has had his work shown all over the world, couldn't have done it without the support and love of his proud mum.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

A tiny heart: a baby?s death gives life to another

Simon Alexander Garcia lived only one brief hour. But somewhere, a little girl?s heart is beating today because of him.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Why is childbirth still such a pain?

The options given to women to help them cope in labour have barely changed in years.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Ideas for recording baby milestones

Get the props, lights and camera ready to record the milestone moments in your baby's first months and years. Tip: set a reminder in your phone (or jot it in a calendar) to make sure you remember it every month.

From penis amputation to fatherhood

After a botched circumcision as a child, Mike Moore was left without a penis. Years later, and after meeting the right surgeon, he was able to become a dad - naturally.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Your baby's first shoes, made with your own hands

Imagine someone saying to you, "Your baby?s shoes are magnificent, where?d you get them?" And you reply, "Oh, these? I made them."

Mother bites off pit bull's ear to save toddler

What would you do if your child was being attacked by a vicious dog? One mother recently had to learn the hard way.

Couple dies 15 hours apart after 70 years of marriage

A couple who held hands at breakfast every morning even after 70 years of marriage have died 15 hours apart.

Behind the scenes of Kate and George's cuddly photo

Every face is partially obscured, but there's no denying the happiness and love in the faces of the royal mum and bub.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Your baby?s developmental roadmap

Caring for your new baby can feel like driving along a dark highway without a GPS: you know your destination ? a happy, healthy human being ? but you?re not sure whether you?re heading in the right direction.

Breaking out of the isolation of motherhood

There can be many reasons for mummy isolation ? and you don?t have to be a new mother to feel like you're often doing it all alone. Here, mums share their stories of feeling isolated, and what they do to try to break out of it.

The billionaire baby with $10,000 worth of prams

When money is no object you can go all out when it comes to baby transportation, as this billionaire socialite has shown.

Medication helps depressed mums to breastfeed

Breastfeeding mums are often told their medication may pass into their milk, but a new study suggests the benefits of taking antidepressants are greater than any risks to baby.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.