Jump to content

On your child's birthday-
Getting all their siblings a present too


  • Please log in to reply
85 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:19 AM

So I came across this for the first time recently, whereby parents get all of their children a present on every child's birthday so they don't feel 'left out'. Obviously the birthday child gets more than one present.

Seems a bit odd to me- I loved my brother's birthday as there was always cake and often a party. I have no recollections of feeling jealous about the presents he got and in fact, used to bask in his reflected pleasure over them. After all, my birthday would come around a few months later.

Is this sibling present thing a new trend? I can't imagine buying into it myself but am wondering what others think.

#2 CupOfCoffee

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:22 AM

To me it kind of negates how special the day is for the actual birthday child.

It is their day and we celebrate it as such.

So we don't buy for both kids on the birthday of one.

#3 -*meh*-

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:25 AM

no a birthday is about the birthday child...

the only time a sibling should be getting any presents is if they share the birthday!



#4 mumto3princesses

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:28 AM

Nope, we don't do that. Not even when our girls were little and it was our twins birthday.

DD1 never felt left out. It's their birthday. She would give her sisters each a present from her. Then when its her birthday her sisters give her a present too. As long as they get some birthday cake they are happy.

#5 sparkles30

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:32 AM

I think it teaches the non-birthday kids a good lesson - everything is not about them, how to celebrate another person and be happy for them etc.

However, this year when my DD turns 4, I will probably give my other DD a little wrapped present as she will be 20 months - old enough to want what her sister is getting, but too young to understand that her turn is coming. She wants to do everything her big sister does so she just wouldn't be able to keep her hands off the presents.

#6 Lolpigs

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:33 AM

No. Seems odd to me and teaching the wrong behaviour. Even if they do feel left out.. oh well it's not their birthday? When their birthday comes around they will be be focus of everything.

#7 NunSoFeral

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:35 AM

Not the go here.
Presents only for the birthday girl/boy
Siblings go shopping for the birthday kid, so they get the excitement that is giving as well.
Birthday child has then got three siblings shouting "OPEN MINE FIRST!"
Never had any problems
Just as long as there is cake.
Cakes makes everything better.




#8 FeralBob!

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:36 AM

My mum did that so that I didn't feel left out when my twin siblings had a birthday. They always got a small present on my birthday too.



#9 Julie3Girls

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:41 AM

My girls get just as excited about their sister's birthday as they do about their own - they love picking out presents for each other, helping to wrap it, who gets to give their present first.

There was never even a thought of getting the non-birthday child a gift. And I don't actually ever recall the other's being upset about not get a present, no matter what the age?  Sure, wanting to help open the present, but little ones are pretty easy to distract.

#10 seayork2002

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:41 AM

I have an only child, but it makes no sense to me

#11 Magnus

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:43 AM

I think I've posted this on EB before when this topic came up. My mum read this as a tip in a book, or something and did this when my brother was little (in the late eighties/ early nineties).

I was annoyed that my brother got a small gift on my birthday. The real problem, though, is that ever since then he has been upset/domineering/weird whenever anyone else has a birthday. He is in his mid twenties and has only just stopped making it all about him. I'm sure there is more to it than that, and a lot of it is personality-based as well.

But I would say: Nooooooo, don't do it. You're making a monster! cry1.gif

More seriously, I think celebrating others and not needing the attention on oneself is a very important lesson to learn.

#12 Soontobegran

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:44 AM

It never occured to me to give a present to anyone other than the birthday child. Each child should be 'allowed' their birthday as a special day just for them.
I hope it isn't a new trend, kids do not need this extra feeling of entitlement.

#13 SeaPrincess

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:46 AM

We don't buy everyone a present.
I also send them to school if their birthday is on a school day.
Always cake.

R

#14 CleverChook

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:46 AM

Surely that would take away some of the 'specialness' for the birthday child.  Silly idea in my view.

#15 bakesgirls

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:47 AM

I wouldn't do it, actually I don't think it would have ever occurred to me. The day is about the birthday child, not anyone else. The other siblings also have their own birthday, so they can wait for that day.



#16 I*Love*Christmas

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:47 AM

No I don't think any other siblings need to get a gift as well. They get their turn at another day of the year. On my DDs birthday last year my MIL gave my DS a little present as well which I wasn't happy about as it turned out both of them wanted and fought over that present. Considering my DDs birthday is only a few days before Christmas DS doesn't have to wait long to receive gifts anyway.

#17 FeralBob!

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:48 AM

It's certainly not a new trend, I'm in my 40s and as I said before, my mum did it.



#18 ~buzz~

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:50 AM

I think its a bit strange and don't know anyone who does it

Birthdays should be a special day for just the birthday child

#19 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:52 AM

When I was a kid I up until about 4 Iyears old  used to get a present for my brother's birthday. Just something small like a colouring book or a teddy bear.

Apparently I used to get really upset and didn't understand why my brother got a present and I didn't.

However, my brother never got a present in return for my birthday! My mum thought he was old enough to know better but a few months ago he brought it up in passing with my mum. He never said anything but always felt like I got treated better and this was just another example of that.

So I wouldn't recommend doing what my parents did!

#20 vanessa71

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:53 AM

I think it's totally unnecessary, everyone gets a birthday so no one is missing out. You get gifts on your, birthday, not on siblings birthdays.

Edited by vanessa71, 22 November 2012 - 11:53 AM.


#21 BadCat

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:54 AM

Not in my family.

#22 Magnus

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:55 AM

Sunnycat, I was also the older sibling that didn't get the extra present. I do still feel like my brother was treated in a more favourable way too.

#23 boatiebabe

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:59 AM

Never heard of this practise!

Don't know anyone who does it.

Don't think it's very common.

#24 tle

Posted 22 November 2012 - 12:00 PM

We do it here. The birthday child gets lots of presents and attention and the other kids (there are 5 in all) each get a small token present of around $20 value (more often than not it's clothes).

The idea is not to prevent the other kids from feeling left out but rather because as a close family we share everything, including the excitement of birthdays.  For us it makes the day so much more fun and exciting for everyone. We all count down the days, how many sleeps etc.

Despite general opinions in this thread it hasn't turned my kids into self centred little monsters  original.gif . Rather, it's one of the many things that helps cement the sibling bond.

#25 GoneWithTheWhinge

Posted 22 November 2012 - 12:01 PM

Nope. We try to teach them the joy in seeing someone else's happiness and the understanding that a birthday is YOUR day.

However my mum always sends over a little something to the other when its one of their birthdays. Its not about getting a present but more about how unfair it is that M got a letter from nanny and H didn't. (nanny lives in UK and has always sent a package to each of them so its the package arriving that causes the excitement not that it contains a birthday present IYSWIM). Last time M got a packet of Flumps when it was H's birthday. H got some strawberry laces on M's birthday but as I said its the brown paper packaging that causes the excitement. Not the contents!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Why are there so few sexy maternity bras?

Rather than feeling ashamed of their post-baby bodies, women should be free to buy lingerie that makes them look attractive and pretty - no matter what stage of life they're in.

Toddler Alliyah one step closer to first trip home

She has lived the first 14 months of her life in a hospital intensive care unit, but Alliyah Broadby's parents hope to finally take their little girl home with them.

'Put people before IVF profits': IVF pioneer Alan Trounson

IVF could be done for hundreds of dollars in Australia instead of $8500 if clinics stopped charging what ''the market will handle'', a pioneer of the technology says.

Expectant parents urged to swap the pub for bub

Nearly one in five women drink while pregnant, but a current campaign is trying to drive down that unhealthy statistic.

Nutella supplies threatened by bad weather

There's bad news for fans of Nutella, the gooey, chocolatey hazelnut spread.

The cost of growing your own vegies

Does it make financial sense to grow your own veggies, or are you better off ordering produce from the local food co-op?

Breastfeeding mums less likely to suffer from PND, but all need support

A new study has shown the a complex relationship between a mother?s intention to breastfeed, her ability to do so, and postnatal depression.

The #loveyourlines Instagram account taking on body issues

A new Instagram account, LoveYourLines, has put the call out for to change the way we view stretch marks.

Mum gets diploma 51 years after being thrown out of school over pregnancy

Sandra Lantz was about six months pregnant and four months from graduation when she was forced to leave high school. Now, more than half a century later, she has finally graduated.

The lowdown on male midwives

How would you feel about having a male midwife assist your baby's birth? For a growing number of mums, the idea is a reality - and the experts all agree that it's something that should be encouraged.

Bomb threat at daycare centre

Worried parents took to social media yesterday after their children's daycare was evacuated due to a bomb threat.

Unusual celebrity baby names

Celebrities love to use their imaginations when it comes to naming their kids! Here's a gallery of some of the most memorable monikers in show biz families.

5 fears I've overcome since becoming a mum

Motherhood has a way of putting any phobias you had pre-parenthood into perspective: you either realise they?re a pointless waste of energy or they simply vanish in a sleep-deprived haze.

Mums review the Dymples range from Big W

The Big W Dymples range offers parents a vast selection of quality products to keep their little ones happy and healthy. We asked the Real Mums Test Drive team to review some items - here's what they said.

Recall: Another cot deemed unsafe

Parents are being warned to check their baby's cot is not one of those which have been recalled in recent weeks due to safety concerns.

The truth about breastfeeding and weightloss

Celebrities often state that their post-baby weight loss is down to breastfeeding, and breastfeeding alone. But that's not the reality for all women.

10 weird things little kids do

Most kids have their own personal brand of oddity. It's usually nothing to worry about, but every now and again you might find yourself scratching your head and asking, ?Really? Is that really a thing??

The app that helps detect signs of autism

Parents can assess their children's progress at critical developmental stages, thanks to this new app.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Mum gives birth at school

She went to a doctor complaining of stomach pains, then had an unexpected operation to remove a decades-old fetus.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.