Jump to content

On your child's birthday-
Getting all their siblings a present too


  • Please log in to reply
85 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_AllegraM_*

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:19 AM

So I came across this for the first time recently, whereby parents get all of their children a present on every child's birthday so they don't feel 'left out'. Obviously the birthday child gets more than one present.

Seems a bit odd to me- I loved my brother's birthday as there was always cake and often a party. I have no recollections of feeling jealous about the presents he got and in fact, used to bask in his reflected pleasure over them. After all, my birthday would come around a few months later.

Is this sibling present thing a new trend? I can't imagine buying into it myself but am wondering what others think.

#2 CupOfCoffee

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:22 AM

To me it kind of negates how special the day is for the actual birthday child.

It is their day and we celebrate it as such.

So we don't buy for both kids on the birthday of one.

#3 Bob-the-skull

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:25 AM

no a birthday is about the birthday child...

the only time a sibling should be getting any presents is if they share the birthday!



#4 mumto3princesses

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:28 AM

Nope, we don't do that. Not even when our girls were little and it was our twins birthday.

DD1 never felt left out. It's their birthday. She would give her sisters each a present from her. Then when its her birthday her sisters give her a present too. As long as they get some birthday cake they are happy.

#5 sparkles30

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:32 AM

I think it teaches the non-birthday kids a good lesson - everything is not about them, how to celebrate another person and be happy for them etc.

However, this year when my DD turns 4, I will probably give my other DD a little wrapped present as she will be 20 months - old enough to want what her sister is getting, but too young to understand that her turn is coming. She wants to do everything her big sister does so she just wouldn't be able to keep her hands off the presents.

#6 Lolpigs

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:33 AM

No. Seems odd to me and teaching the wrong behaviour. Even if they do feel left out.. oh well it's not their birthday? When their birthday comes around they will be be focus of everything.

#7 NunSoFeral

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:35 AM

Not the go here.
Presents only for the birthday girl/boy
Siblings go shopping for the birthday kid, so they get the excitement that is giving as well.
Birthday child has then got three siblings shouting "OPEN MINE FIRST!"
Never had any problems
Just as long as there is cake.
Cakes makes everything better.




#8 ComradeBob

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:36 AM

My mum did that so that I didn't feel left out when my twin siblings had a birthday. They always got a small present on my birthday too.



#9 Julie3Girls

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:41 AM

My girls get just as excited about their sister's birthday as they do about their own - they love picking out presents for each other, helping to wrap it, who gets to give their present first.

There was never even a thought of getting the non-birthday child a gift. And I don't actually ever recall the other's being upset about not get a present, no matter what the age?  Sure, wanting to help open the present, but little ones are pretty easy to distract.

#10 seayork2002

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:41 AM

I have an only child, but it makes no sense to me

#11 Magnus

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:43 AM

I think I've posted this on EB before when this topic came up. My mum read this as a tip in a book, or something and did this when my brother was little (in the late eighties/ early nineties).

I was annoyed that my brother got a small gift on my birthday. The real problem, though, is that ever since then he has been upset/domineering/weird whenever anyone else has a birthday. He is in his mid twenties and has only just stopped making it all about him. I'm sure there is more to it than that, and a lot of it is personality-based as well.

But I would say: Nooooooo, don't do it. You're making a monster! cry1.gif

More seriously, I think celebrating others and not needing the attention on oneself is a very important lesson to learn.

#12 Soontobegran

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:44 AM

It never occured to me to give a present to anyone other than the birthday child. Each child should be 'allowed' their birthday as a special day just for them.
I hope it isn't a new trend, kids do not need this extra feeling of entitlement.

#13 SeaPrincess

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:46 AM

We don't buy everyone a present.
I also send them to school if their birthday is on a school day.
Always cake.

R

#14 SisterMaryElephant

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:46 AM

Surely that would take away some of the 'specialness' for the birthday child.  Silly idea in my view.

#15 bakesgirls

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:47 AM

I wouldn't do it, actually I don't think it would have ever occurred to me. The day is about the birthday child, not anyone else. The other siblings also have their own birthday, so they can wait for that day.



#16 I*Love*Christmas

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:47 AM

No I don't think any other siblings need to get a gift as well. They get their turn at another day of the year. On my DDs birthday last year my MIL gave my DS a little present as well which I wasn't happy about as it turned out both of them wanted and fought over that present. Considering my DDs birthday is only a few days before Christmas DS doesn't have to wait long to receive gifts anyway.

#17 ComradeBob

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:48 AM

It's certainly not a new trend, I'm in my 40s and as I said before, my mum did it.



#18 ~buzz~

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:50 AM

I think its a bit strange and don't know anyone who does it

Birthdays should be a special day for just the birthday child

#19 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:52 AM

When I was a kid I up until about 4 Iyears old  used to get a present for my brother's birthday. Just something small like a colouring book or a teddy bear.

Apparently I used to get really upset and didn't understand why my brother got a present and I didn't.

However, my brother never got a present in return for my birthday! My mum thought he was old enough to know better but a few months ago he brought it up in passing with my mum. He never said anything but always felt like I got treated better and this was just another example of that.

So I wouldn't recommend doing what my parents did!

#20 vanessa71

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:53 AM

I think it's totally unnecessary, everyone gets a birthday so no one is missing out. You get gifts on your, birthday, not on siblings birthdays.

Edited by vanessa71, 22 November 2012 - 11:53 AM.


#21 BadCat

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:54 AM

Not in my family.

#22 Magnus

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:55 AM

Sunnycat, I was also the older sibling that didn't get the extra present. I do still feel like my brother was treated in a more favourable way too.

#23 boatiebabe

Posted 22 November 2012 - 11:59 AM

Never heard of this practise!

Don't know anyone who does it.

Don't think it's very common.

#24 tle

Posted 22 November 2012 - 12:00 PM

We do it here. The birthday child gets lots of presents and attention and the other kids (there are 5 in all) each get a small token present of around $20 value (more often than not it's clothes).

The idea is not to prevent the other kids from feeling left out but rather because as a close family we share everything, including the excitement of birthdays.  For us it makes the day so much more fun and exciting for everyone. We all count down the days, how many sleeps etc.

Despite general opinions in this thread it hasn't turned my kids into self centred little monsters  original.gif . Rather, it's one of the many things that helps cement the sibling bond.

#25 GoneWithTheWhinge

Posted 22 November 2012 - 12:01 PM

Nope. We try to teach them the joy in seeing someone else's happiness and the understanding that a birthday is YOUR day.

However my mum always sends over a little something to the other when its one of their birthdays. Its not about getting a present but more about how unfair it is that M got a letter from nanny and H didn't. (nanny lives in UK and has always sent a package to each of them so its the package arriving that causes the excitement not that it contains a birthday present IYSWIM). Last time M got a packet of Flumps when it was H's birthday. H got some strawberry laces on M's birthday but as I said its the brown paper packaging that causes the excitement. Not the contents!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Five ways my second pregnancy is second best

As I roll into the second half of "Pregnancy: The Sequel", here is breakdown of the differences I have found thus far.

Domestic politics

Why I felt guilty about having a cleaner

Coming home to a clean house was a pleasure – and yet, I felt uneasy.

'Ugly' hearing aid ad leaves parents fuming

When Alecia Donoghue found out her baby would need hearing aids she worried about him becoming the target for schoolyard bullies.

Have you seen these missing children?

The Australian Federal Police has released the following information to locate some of Australia's missing children through the Family Law Court.

Margarita time

Keira Knightley welcomes first child

British actress Keira Knightley has become a first-time mother.

IVF patients in the dark over which clinics are least successful

Couples with fertility problems have little way of knowing which IVF clinics are the best performers despite significant differences between clinic success rates.

Couple forced to defend their decision to become parents

They met, fell in love and got married. Then, just like couples everywhere, Simon and Vicky Moore decided it was time to have a baby.

The one parenting tip that made all the difference

Amongst the useless, ill-informed advice we're given as new parents, many of us also receive nuggets of wisdom that make our lives just that little bit easier.

Five lies you tell yourself when you're pregnant

You can see it all now: glowing mumma with her gorgeous babe ... you know exactly what you're going to be like. Or perhaps you know exactly what you're not going to be like.

Family expecting fourth set of twins

A couple is expecting their fourth set of twins in five years.

The day my daughter almost drowned

We had six adults standing there, so I felt like I could relax a bit. After all, what could go wrong with so much supervision?

Sydney siege survivor names baby after victim Katrina Dawson

A Sydney barrister who survived the Lindt cafe siege has named her newborn daughter after her best friend who died in the tragedy.

The universal working mother experience

These days mothers need more than just traditional career advice.

Obama feels full force of toddler tantrum

Shopping centres, restaurants, the White House ... the list of places toddlers like to throw tantrums is endless.

Banishing bloat

How to avoid a bloated tummy

Here are some foods to eat in order to escape feeling ghastly and gassy.

The great new picture book for anxious kids

My son is a worrier by nature. I learnt long ago that it was completely pointless to say to him "Don't worry about it!".

Budget stripped more than $15b from families

The combined impact of the two budgets for low and middle income people was "devastating", new analysis by the Australian Council of Social Service shows.

Pregnant women urged to get flu shots

As the winter chill starts to arrive, NSW Health is urging pregnant women to get their flu shots.

65-year-old gives birth to quadruplets

A 65-year-old German woman, who already has 13 children, has given birth to quadruplets.

What you need to know about pregnancy and health insurance

It's not just waiting periods that couples need to consider - there are other factors to consider when thinking about health insurance.

Yummy mummy

Nicole Trunfio breastfeeds baby on Elle magazine cover

Australian model Nicole Trunfio has taken the concept of multitasking to a fashionable new level for Elle Australia.

Warnings after baby girl died while sleeping in bouncer

Parents have been warned about the dangers of letting babies sleep in bouncers and swings following the death of a three-month-old girl.

Coping with fatigue as a parent

Sleep deprivation is a real hazard of caring for a baby. But there are ways to manage the challenges of fatigue better.

A very 21st century issue: parents, parks and smart phones

It's not all the parents, and it's not all the time, but there is often at least one doing it. And sometimes, that 'one' is me.

Appliances

Faulty washing machines linked to house fires

More than 80,000 faulty Samsung washing machines pose a fire threat in homes throughout Australia despite a nationwide recall of the machines.

7 things you might not know about postnatal depression

Despite its widespread nature, there is still a great amount of mystery surrounding PND - and it's important to try unravelling as much of that as we can.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

How to use gas effectively in labour

Many women in labour don't use gas effectively and suffer more side effects than benefits. Here's how to get the most out of this pain relief option.

'He has gastro but that's okay, right?': sick kid etiquette

We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents a choice about exposing their kids to them.

Welcome to Winter

Now that the colder months are here, Essential Baby as all the information you need for staying healthy and happy during the chilly season.

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.