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What do i do?

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#1 ashleerose

Posted 22 November 2012 - 07:22 AM

Okay long story short, my ex (boyfriend at the time) was driving my car and i was the passenger in the car, he is on my comprehensive insurance as a driver and we had an accident.

Anyhow its been a nasty breakup (i am in the middle of trying to get an avo, but apparently after all the hell he has put the kids and i through and still is i havent got enough for an avo).

Anyhow the other car and my car were both reversing in a car park and we were both at fault.
However the insurer rang me yesterday and the other driver has now said that they were waiting for a car spot and that i am at fault. They are sending out to me documents to fill in diagram etc.

I rang my ex because he was the driver and i was the passenger and i feel that he should be filling it in as the other driver and him swapped licence information and to be honest i wasnt paying attention as much as he was as i was looking at my mobile.

My ex hanged up on me. I have no address for them to forward documents on and can only give the insurer his mobile number which no doubt he will  hang up on them?

I am so stressed out as i dont want to lose any more money because of this guy but i am more than likely going to just take the blame for the accident  sad.gif

I should say will the insurer charge him for the accident or me, it seems unfair that I will be taking another debt because of him????

I should say will the insurer charge him for the accident or me, it seems unfair that I will be taking another debt because of him????

#2 ashleerose

Posted 22 November 2012 - 07:24 AM

I would like to know will my ex have to pay the excess $650 or me as i dont think that its fair????

#3 FaithHopeLove

Posted 22 November 2012 - 07:31 AM

I would think the best way to find out what will happen will be to speak to your insurer. at a complete guess i would think if it is your car and your insurance the insurer is likely to maintain the responsibility on you unfortunately if you wamt the claimnprocessed and your car fixed. must underline that i have no knowledge to back that up! best of luck in sorting it out.

#4 ashleerose

Posted 22 November 2012 - 07:56 AM

Thanks, i rang through to the insurer just then (had to wait until that section was open).

Anyhow seems that i am responsible even though he is the driver and i was lucky enough to have a helpful claims person who is going to try and contact my ex to see if he will complete the paperwork (fingers crossed) as otherwise i am going to take the fall for this accident.

#5 FaithHopeLove

Posted 22 November 2012 - 08:00 AM

Glad you got someone helpful - hope they are able to get a fair result for you.

#6 opethmum

Posted 22 November 2012 - 08:08 AM

Give the insurance company his details and let the insurance company pursue the paperwork. Complete all the paperwork on your end. The insurance company will get what it needs and they are big enough to pursue this at length and are experienced with this kind of people.

Just breathe and get on with your life and just do what is necessary to this claim.

#7 Tigerdog

Posted 22 November 2012 - 08:09 AM

if it is your car and your insurance the insurer is likely to maintain the responsibility on you

I think this as well.  You would also have to check if your insurance actually covers another person driving the car, some don't unless you specifically nominate that person.

#8 Holidayromp

Posted 22 November 2012 - 08:10 AM

If it is found that your ex is at fault don't go through insurance and provide all of his details to the TP insurer so they can claim direct through him.  Otherwise you are going to be up for an excess should it be ruled that your ex is at fault.

#9 Dylan's Mummy

Posted 22 November 2012 - 08:11 AM

If he won't fill in the paper work and If he doesn't want to claim responsibility you could always take him to court but that would probably end up costing you even more. If all else fails, it's a small price to hopefully get him out of your life.

#10 Holidayromp

Posted 22 November 2012 - 08:12 AM

QUOTE (Tigerdog @ 22/11/2012, 09:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think this as well.  You would also have to check if your insurance actually covers another person driving the car, some don't unless you specifically nominate that person.

Yes but the onus is on the OP if she choses to use her insurance company.  If she doesn't then that will put the driver ie her EX right in the firing line which is exactly what I would do.

#11 Phascogale

Posted 22 November 2012 - 09:43 AM

QUOTE (Holidayromp @ 22/11/2012, 08:12 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes but the onus is on the OP if she choses to use her insurance company.  If she doesn't then that will put the driver ie her EX right in the firing line which is exactly what I would do.

Actually that is a really good point.  If the OP can provide the drivers (ex's) details to the person whose car was damaged then they will chase him.

However that doesn't fix the issue of getting her car fixed.  How much damage was done and what's the cost of repairing it?  If it's less than $650 then you don't necessarily have to go through insurance but there's the risk that there is more damage than you think.   So to not go through insurance and just give out his details may mean your car doesn't get repaired unless you pay for it.  You should be able to find out your ex's address.  The other person's insurance will probably be able to find out if you give them the last known address and phone number.  He doesn't have insurance in his name for the car he was driving (yes listed on your policy) and you don't have to use your insurance.

What would he do if you tell him that he needs to fill out these forms correctly or you will just be passing on his details for the other driver's insurance to pursue him seeing as he was the driver?

OP, can you categorically say that you saw the other car reversing at the same time despite you playing with the phone, rather than standing still and waiting for a spot?  If you can be sure of this then it would be unlikely that you will get the full blame.  Because in one scenario you are both at fault because both are both reversing but in the other your car is at fault because they weren't moving.  This is where it gets tricky because the other car wants you (or your insurance) to cover their car so they don't lose any rating points or seen to be at fault.  If you're found at fault then you are going to have to pay for their damage so you'll be up for the $650 anyway as you'll need to claim.

#12 ashleerose

Posted 22 November 2012 - 09:37 PM

Just a quick update, the insurance company rang me to say that although they spoke to my ex he couldnt talk to them at the time and could they call back?

I havent heard anymore, but i am going to call the insurer tommorow and ask for the other drivers insurer details etc (unless all of that information is in the mail that they are sending out to me??).

If not, im not sure of how to go about getting their details? Do i tell my insurer that i am not making a claim whatsoever and although my ex was driving the car and the other driver has his licence details etc that I am going to have them pursue him in this regard?

Because I cannot do the paperwork as i wasnt the driver and wasnt paying as much attention as i would have if i had been, i am positive that the other driver was reversing as well but after describing as best as i could and the damage to both cars my insurer told me at the moment their record of events supports the damage?

As for my car it was minimum in fact the bumper just needed to be clipped on, so no damage, however the other car a newer fancier car had front rear quarter damage and will no doubt cost a few thousands something my ex couldnt afford.

I will be telling my insurer tommorow to tell him that if he doesnt complete the paperwork then i will be having the other insurer chase him not me.

Thanks everyone for your help, this solution in particular was never offered to me.

#13 Dowager fancie

Posted 22 November 2012 - 09:52 PM

First up, I don't drive.

OP, in your circumstances I think that if I needed to pay a $650 excess in order to not further anger someone who you say has put you and your children through hell, then I would do it.

Yes, it's more money that he will be costing you.  Better paying money than being potentially endangered and having your children at risk.

#14 it'stime

Posted 22 November 2012 - 10:00 PM

Agree with fancie. If he has causes that much drama I would just pay the excess and avoid frustrating him.

I realise it is not fair, but keep him as far away from you as possible.

#15 ashleerose

Posted 26 November 2012 - 12:52 PM

Okay called the insurer as i didn't hear back in regards to them contacting my ex.

Basically told that yes i can say that i don't want to make a claim and the other driver can then make a claim directly to him, however if they are unable to be reimbursed  (if ruled in their favour) from him (which is highly likely as he is unemployed) they can then still seek costs from me as its my car.

So they are going to call him again today (to see if he will complete forms and they will forward them to him) and they are going to tell him that if he doesn't then i am going to let the other party pursue the matter with him directly.

As for just giving in and paying for it, ive decided to see if there is at least one last bit of hope left that he will do the right thing as i know that as he is still harassing his ex (years past) and doing the same to me, if he continues i will have enough documentation to ensure that an avo is issued and he will then have no other option but to leave us alone.

I am out of pocket thousands and financially struggling and feel that the least he could do is complete the forms for the accident.

Fingers crossed.

#16 casime

Posted 26 November 2012 - 02:50 PM

I'm by no means an insurance expert, but I would wonder if you are not better off putting this through your insurance company.   If I were involved in an accident where I didn't believe I were at fault (as the other driver in this case believes), I would just be giving my insurance company all the details (driver and other vehicle) and letting them fight it out.  It's what I pay insurance for, and I don't really care who they claim the money from, it's not my problem.   If you're ex refuses to come to the party, then their insurance company will come after you for the damages.   If your insurance company is dealing with your claim, then they can argue among themselves over who is at fault (I'd place a bet that they would end up deciding you are both equally at fault), but if it's just you against the lawyers of the other sides insurance company, then it's going to cost you a fortune to try and fight them in court.  By going through your insurance company, even if they deem your car to have been at fault, then the worst you get is the $650 excess.  

This is exactly the reason you pay your premiums.  Let them do the arguing for you.  

#17 ashleerose

Posted 26 November 2012 - 03:55 PM



the thing is that they my insurer have sent the forms out to me and truthfully there is no way i can fill these in as i wasnt paying as much attention as i would have been if i had of been the driver and cannot put it into words at the time i honestly believed that both cars backed into each other however now the other driver is stating otherwise and the damage to both cars seems to support their case, so although my ex is and was adamant at the time as to what happened at present i have the choice of having him complete the forms and hopefully both being at fault (which is what i believe) or paying the excess and admitting liability as i dont know what else to do.

Anyhow they rang my ex and he said he couldnt hear them but i have given them his mothers address and they are forwarding the forms to him, fingers crossed he completes them.

#18 oomps

Posted 26 November 2012 - 04:10 PM

Not that long ago I was in an accident with another car where we were both deemed "at fault" for insurance purposes. In this situation I had to pay my excess and my insurance company fixed my car, and I understand the other driver did the same. My insurance company told me they usually just agree to fix their own customers cars in this situation.

So I'm not sure how there is going to be any financial difference for you if you are fully at fault, or partly at fault. Won't you still have to pay your excess anyway? Have you asked your insurance company about this?

#19 ashleerose

Posted 26 November 2012 - 04:53 PM


My car back bumper came undone a slight bit (just clipped it back on) but the other car front drivers rear quarter was pretty bad.

So no mine isnt costing anything to be repaired.

#20 casime

Posted 26 November 2012 - 05:19 PM

I would work on the assumption that your ex isn't going to suddenly become a stand up guy and it's very likely you will get hit for the cost of the repairs to the other vehicle.  Hence, I'd be talking to my insurance company.

#21 Charlies Angel

Posted 26 November 2012 - 05:29 PM

Pay the excess and close this chapter of your life.

You are currently trying to get an AVO placed on him after a nasty breakup. Do you think chasing him for this is going to make him any happier?

And in future, don't let other people drive your car.

#22 Domestic Goddess

Posted 26 November 2012 - 09:05 PM

double post

Edited by Domestic Goddess, 26 November 2012 - 09:10 PM.

#23 Domestic Goddess

Posted 26 November 2012 - 09:07 PM

Hmmmm, my main concern is that you are going to pay for something that wasn't your fault, nor 100% your ex's fault either.
It was a "shared" fault. Both cars were backing out and so this is what I would be concentrating on first.
Also, did this happen on a public car park or a private?

If you were both backing out, both cars would be damaged at the back. If the other car was waiting for a spot, and you were backing out, your car should be damaged on the side and theirs on the back. That is, if I imagine the situation correctly.

You could say you were already backing out and that the other car suddenly started reversing towards you and didn't see you/ ex coming out. Negligence from their side.

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