Jump to content

What do i do?


  • Please log in to reply
22 replies to this topic

#1 ashleerose

Posted 22 November 2012 - 07:22 AM

Okay long story short, my ex (boyfriend at the time) was driving my car and i was the passenger in the car, he is on my comprehensive insurance as a driver and we had an accident.

Anyhow its been a nasty breakup (i am in the middle of trying to get an avo, but apparently after all the hell he has put the kids and i through and still is i havent got enough for an avo).

Anyhow the other car and my car were both reversing in a car park and we were both at fault.
However the insurer rang me yesterday and the other driver has now said that they were waiting for a car spot and that i am at fault. They are sending out to me documents to fill in diagram etc.

I rang my ex because he was the driver and i was the passenger and i feel that he should be filling it in as the other driver and him swapped licence information and to be honest i wasnt paying attention as much as he was as i was looking at my mobile.

My ex hanged up on me. I have no address for them to forward documents on and can only give the insurer his mobile number which no doubt he will  hang up on them?

I am so stressed out as i dont want to lose any more money because of this guy but i am more than likely going to just take the blame for the accident  sad.gif

I should say will the insurer charge him for the accident or me, it seems unfair that I will be taking another debt because of him????

I should say will the insurer charge him for the accident or me, it seems unfair that I will be taking another debt because of him????

#2 ashleerose

Posted 22 November 2012 - 07:24 AM

I would like to know will my ex have to pay the excess $650 or me as i dont think that its fair????

#3 FaithHopeLove

Posted 22 November 2012 - 07:31 AM

I would think the best way to find out what will happen will be to speak to your insurer. at a complete guess i would think if it is your car and your insurance the insurer is likely to maintain the responsibility on you unfortunately if you wamt the claimnprocessed and your car fixed. must underline that i have no knowledge to back that up! best of luck in sorting it out.

#4 ashleerose

Posted 22 November 2012 - 07:56 AM

Thanks, i rang through to the insurer just then (had to wait until that section was open).

Anyhow seems that i am responsible even though he is the driver and i was lucky enough to have a helpful claims person who is going to try and contact my ex to see if he will complete the paperwork (fingers crossed) as otherwise i am going to take the fall for this accident.

#5 FaithHopeLove

Posted 22 November 2012 - 08:00 AM

Glad you got someone helpful - hope they are able to get a fair result for you.

#6 opethmum

Posted 22 November 2012 - 08:08 AM

Give the insurance company his details and let the insurance company pursue the paperwork. Complete all the paperwork on your end. The insurance company will get what it needs and they are big enough to pursue this at length and are experienced with this kind of people.

Just breathe and get on with your life and just do what is necessary to this claim.

#7 Tigerdog

Posted 22 November 2012 - 08:09 AM

QUOTE
if it is your car and your insurance the insurer is likely to maintain the responsibility on you


I think this as well.  You would also have to check if your insurance actually covers another person driving the car, some don't unless you specifically nominate that person.

#8 Holidayromp

Posted 22 November 2012 - 08:10 AM

If it is found that your ex is at fault don't go through insurance and provide all of his details to the TP insurer so they can claim direct through him.  Otherwise you are going to be up for an excess should it be ruled that your ex is at fault.

#9 Dylan's Mummy

Posted 22 November 2012 - 08:11 AM

If he won't fill in the paper work and If he doesn't want to claim responsibility you could always take him to court but that would probably end up costing you even more. If all else fails, it's a small price to hopefully get him out of your life.

#10 Holidayromp

Posted 22 November 2012 - 08:12 AM

QUOTE (Tigerdog @ 22/11/2012, 09:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think this as well.  You would also have to check if your insurance actually covers another person driving the car, some don't unless you specifically nominate that person.


Yes but the onus is on the OP if she choses to use her insurance company.  If she doesn't then that will put the driver ie her EX right in the firing line which is exactly what I would do.

#11 Phascogale

Posted 22 November 2012 - 09:43 AM

QUOTE (Holidayromp @ 22/11/2012, 08:12 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes but the onus is on the OP if she choses to use her insurance company.  If she doesn't then that will put the driver ie her EX right in the firing line which is exactly what I would do.

Actually that is a really good point.  If the OP can provide the drivers (ex's) details to the person whose car was damaged then they will chase him.

However that doesn't fix the issue of getting her car fixed.  How much damage was done and what's the cost of repairing it?  If it's less than $650 then you don't necessarily have to go through insurance but there's the risk that there is more damage than you think.   So to not go through insurance and just give out his details may mean your car doesn't get repaired unless you pay for it.  You should be able to find out your ex's address.  The other person's insurance will probably be able to find out if you give them the last known address and phone number.  He doesn't have insurance in his name for the car he was driving (yes listed on your policy) and you don't have to use your insurance.

What would he do if you tell him that he needs to fill out these forms correctly or you will just be passing on his details for the other driver's insurance to pursue him seeing as he was the driver?

OP, can you categorically say that you saw the other car reversing at the same time despite you playing with the phone, rather than standing still and waiting for a spot?  If you can be sure of this then it would be unlikely that you will get the full blame.  Because in one scenario you are both at fault because both are both reversing but in the other your car is at fault because they weren't moving.  This is where it gets tricky because the other car wants you (or your insurance) to cover their car so they don't lose any rating points or seen to be at fault.  If you're found at fault then you are going to have to pay for their damage so you'll be up for the $650 anyway as you'll need to claim.


#12 ashleerose

Posted 22 November 2012 - 09:37 PM

Just a quick update, the insurance company rang me to say that although they spoke to my ex he couldnt talk to them at the time and could they call back?

I havent heard anymore, but i am going to call the insurer tommorow and ask for the other drivers insurer details etc (unless all of that information is in the mail that they are sending out to me??).

If not, im not sure of how to go about getting their details? Do i tell my insurer that i am not making a claim whatsoever and although my ex was driving the car and the other driver has his licence details etc that I am going to have them pursue him in this regard?

Because I cannot do the paperwork as i wasnt the driver and wasnt paying as much attention as i would have if i had been, i am positive that the other driver was reversing as well but after describing as best as i could and the damage to both cars my insurer told me at the moment their record of events supports the damage?

As for my car it was minimum in fact the bumper just needed to be clipped on, so no damage, however the other car a newer fancier car had front rear quarter damage and will no doubt cost a few thousands something my ex couldnt afford.

I will be telling my insurer tommorow to tell him that if he doesnt complete the paperwork then i will be having the other insurer chase him not me.

Thanks everyone for your help, this solution in particular was never offered to me.

#13 fancie

Posted 22 November 2012 - 09:52 PM



First up, I don't drive.

OP, in your circumstances I think that if I needed to pay a $650 excess in order to not further anger someone who you say has put you and your children through hell, then I would do it.

Yes, it's more money that he will be costing you.  Better paying money than being potentially endangered and having your children at risk.

#14 SaintJoe

Posted 22 November 2012 - 10:00 PM

Agree with fancie. If he has causes that much drama I would just pay the excess and avoid frustrating him.

I realise it is not fair, but keep him as far away from you as possible.

#15 ashleerose

Posted 26 November 2012 - 12:52 PM

Okay called the insurer as i didn't hear back in regards to them contacting my ex.

Basically told that yes i can say that i don't want to make a claim and the other driver can then make a claim directly to him, however if they are unable to be reimbursed  (if ruled in their favour) from him (which is highly likely as he is unemployed) they can then still seek costs from me as its my car.

So they are going to call him again today (to see if he will complete forms and they will forward them to him) and they are going to tell him that if he doesn't then i am going to let the other party pursue the matter with him directly.

As for just giving in and paying for it, ive decided to see if there is at least one last bit of hope left that he will do the right thing as i know that as he is still harassing his ex (years past) and doing the same to me, if he continues i will have enough documentation to ensure that an avo is issued and he will then have no other option but to leave us alone.

I am out of pocket thousands and financially struggling and feel that the least he could do is complete the forms for the accident.

Fingers crossed.

#16 casime

Posted 26 November 2012 - 02:50 PM

I'm by no means an insurance expert, but I would wonder if you are not better off putting this through your insurance company.   If I were involved in an accident where I didn't believe I were at fault (as the other driver in this case believes), I would just be giving my insurance company all the details (driver and other vehicle) and letting them fight it out.  It's what I pay insurance for, and I don't really care who they claim the money from, it's not my problem.   If you're ex refuses to come to the party, then their insurance company will come after you for the damages.   If your insurance company is dealing with your claim, then they can argue among themselves over who is at fault (I'd place a bet that they would end up deciding you are both equally at fault), but if it's just you against the lawyers of the other sides insurance company, then it's going to cost you a fortune to try and fight them in court.  By going through your insurance company, even if they deem your car to have been at fault, then the worst you get is the $650 excess.  

This is exactly the reason you pay your premiums.  Let them do the arguing for you.  


#17 ashleerose

Posted 26 November 2012 - 03:55 PM

casime,

thanks

the thing is that they my insurer have sent the forms out to me and truthfully there is no way i can fill these in as i wasnt paying as much attention as i would have been if i had of been the driver and cannot put it into words at the time i honestly believed that both cars backed into each other however now the other driver is stating otherwise and the damage to both cars seems to support their case, so although my ex is and was adamant at the time as to what happened at present i have the choice of having him complete the forms and hopefully both being at fault (which is what i believe) or paying the excess and admitting liability as i dont know what else to do.

Anyhow they rang my ex and he said he couldnt hear them but i have given them his mothers address and they are forwarding the forms to him, fingers crossed he completes them.

#18 oomps

Posted 26 November 2012 - 04:10 PM

Not that long ago I was in an accident with another car where we were both deemed "at fault" for insurance purposes. In this situation I had to pay my excess and my insurance company fixed my car, and I understand the other driver did the same. My insurance company told me they usually just agree to fix their own customers cars in this situation.

So I'm not sure how there is going to be any financial difference for you if you are fully at fault, or partly at fault. Won't you still have to pay your excess anyway? Have you asked your insurance company about this?

#19 ashleerose

Posted 26 November 2012 - 04:53 PM

oomps,

My car back bumper came undone a slight bit (just clipped it back on) but the other car front drivers rear quarter was pretty bad.

So no mine isnt costing anything to be repaired.

#20 casime

Posted 26 November 2012 - 05:19 PM

I would work on the assumption that your ex isn't going to suddenly become a stand up guy and it's very likely you will get hit for the cost of the repairs to the other vehicle.  Hence, I'd be talking to my insurance company.

#21 Charlies Angel

Posted 26 November 2012 - 05:29 PM

Pay the excess and close this chapter of your life.

You are currently trying to get an AVO placed on him after a nasty breakup. Do you think chasing him for this is going to make him any happier?

And in future, don't let other people drive your car.

#22 Domestic Goddess

Posted 26 November 2012 - 09:05 PM

double post

Edited by Domestic Goddess, 26 November 2012 - 09:10 PM.


#23 Domestic Goddess

Posted 26 November 2012 - 09:07 PM

Hmmmm, my main concern is that you are going to pay for something that wasn't your fault, nor 100% your ex's fault either.
It was a "shared" fault. Both cars were backing out and so this is what I would be concentrating on first.
Also, did this happen on a public car park or a private?

If you were both backing out, both cars would be damaged at the back. If the other car was waiting for a spot, and you were backing out, your car should be damaged on the side and theirs on the back. That is, if I imagine the situation correctly.

You could say you were already backing out and that the other car suddenly started reversing towards you and didn't see you/ ex coming out. Negligence from their side.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Teaching our son to say no to violence against women

Today, on White Ribbon Day - and every other day - we're teaching our son to say no to violence against women.

Mothers told to breastfeed in 'spacious' toilet

If there is one thing the owners of Tillings Cafe can be certain of, it is that the eatery won't win the award for Britain's best baby-friendly coffee shop any time soon.

Mother gives name to son dumped down drain

A woman who admitted to dumping her newborn baby down a Sydney drain has reportedly been allowed to give him a name.

Taking small steps to reduce stress

Are you feeling used up by life's stress, family problems and a demanding job you can't turn off? Many people are way beyond work-life exhaustion. They are functioning as robots.

Bad news: we're running out of chocolate

The world's biggest chocolate-maker says we're running out of chocolate.

Born at 23 weeks, 'Chopstick Baby' survives first week

A baby who was born at 23 weeks has survived her first week of life outside the womb.

Manic stations: the nesting instinct in pregnancy

It might sound like temporary insanity, but almost obsessive nesting as you near your due date isn’t uncommon – even if you’re not usually a particularly clean person.

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

Love has nothing to do with mental illness. But love may drive a mother to do something about it.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong'

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

Twin brothers have become dads on the same day ? with their partners giving birth in the same hospital, and even the same birthing pool.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.