Jump to content

Ask guests to contribute toward the band's cost at a party?
How???


  • Please log in to reply
79 replies to this topic

#1 Velvetta

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:21 PM

A friend is throwing a 50 th birthday party. She is paying for all the food and the venue herself and doesn't want presents, but the band costs $600 and she is running out of money.(She has already added up $2000 in costs) The invitations are already out but she thought she might ask for donations at the venue to help cover costs. She just doesn't know how to word it...

Can anyone help?

Edited by Velvetta, 21 November 2012 - 03:22 PM.


#2 qak

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:28 PM

Is the party for herself?

#3 Charlies Angel

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:29 PM

I wouldn't, I couldn't, do this to my friends (even though I know that they would contribute if I asked).

I would rather cut back in other areas of my life, and chalk up the lessons learnt re budgeting from this experience.



#4 *Lib*

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:30 PM

She wants to have a party....she needs to pay for it......or charge a cover charge and see how many people turn up.

#5 Gembac8019

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:32 PM

I think it would be rude. She should find another band that is cheaper. or fund it herself.

#6 luxi00

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:34 PM

No definitely not. I think this is so, so rude. If I was asked to contribute, I wouldn't go.

#7 MintyBiscuit

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:37 PM

I don't think there's a polite way to ask, because it's rude. Cancel the band, take an iPod dock or a CD player.

Edited for terrible spelling and typing

Edited by HollyOllyOxenfree, 21 November 2012 - 03:38 PM.


#8 Guest_Maybelle_*

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:37 PM

Am I reading you right...that she wants to ask for money once people are at the party?  I can't think of any way to word that, and my group of friends are all for pot-luck/everyone throw in some money to buy the food/BYO type events.

I think she is just going to need to cancel the band and do a fabulous mix tape.

#9 melanieb530

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:38 PM

I believe OP was asking for help with the wording not judgements.
FWIW I would love to contribute to the band as a present for the birthday girl instead of buying some item she may not really want or need.

#10 snortle

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:41 PM

QUOTE (Velvetta @ 21/11/2012, 04:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
A friend is throwing a 50 th birthday party. She is paying for all the food and the venue herself and doesn't want presents, but the band costs $600 and she is running out of money.(She has already added up $2000 in costs) The invitations are already out but she thought she might ask for donations at the venue to help cover costs. She just doesn't know how to word it...

Can anyone help?


ohmy.gif  oomg2.gif  oomg.gif
That is all

#11 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:42 PM

She should ask them via tacky poem requesting money and she should have a wishing well there as well.







Not.

Edited by Sunnycat, 21 November 2012 - 03:43 PM.


#12 MsDemeanor

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:44 PM

In the days of digital music/ipods who needs a bloody band anyway. cancel the band and go the Ipod!

#13 vanessa71

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:44 PM

QUOTE (Maybelle @ 21/11/2012, 04:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think she is just going to need to cancel the band and do a fabulous mix tape.


Loved that you used 'mix tape', Maybelle.  original.gif

I would not be impressed about having to chip in for a band as I most likely wouldn't have liked the music anyway.

I think your friend would be better off putting a good selection of songs on an iPod and using that. I think the band needs to be cancelled.


#14 Squeekums Da Feral

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:57 PM

There is no way to word somthing like that without being rude.
I think the response to such a thing would be um........ 'great' lol
.
She will be better off to cancel the band and go online and get a heap of music.

#15 LookMumNoHands

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:01 PM

Maybe she could just ask a few select people who she knows wouldn't be offended?

#16 epl0822

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:03 PM

Cancel the band. Don't ask the guests for the party she's hosting. That is so tacky and rude.

There's no polite wording to ask people for money for a party you're throwing for yourself.

#17 Bunsen the feral

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:05 PM

I agree with the iPod suggestions.

Alternatively as her friend could you ring round and ask if anyone wants to chip in? I can't think of a single way she can ask for money herself that will go down well.

#18 Charlies Angel

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:10 PM

My earlier judgey comment stems from the position that I don't believe that you can change the 'rules of engagement' once the invitations have been issued.

However, if you think that many in your social circle would be ok with this, and like the idea of live music, then YOU could offer to arrange the band (and collect contributions) in lieu of gifts. I'd send around an email before the party to give them the heads up. By involving a third party, it reduces the pressure to say yes. This way people can say that they already have a gift, or make alternative arrangements, rather than having the birthday girl herself put the hard word on them and force them into an awkward position.

The only way around it in my view.

But cancelling & organising a playlist would be a better option.

#19 KBM

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:12 PM

As the invitations have already gone out it might be a bit hard from now but...

A friend of mine had an engagement part and they had on the invites

'Please dont bring presents, just your presence is enough.'

'Ryan & Jenny are trying to build a lovely home, if you would like to contribute, a gift voucher from Bunnings would be most appreciated'

Or something along those lines.  Maybe as a follow up to invites, she/you could send notes to this affect "Betty would really love to have the band 'Spagetti' at her party as they create a fantastic atmosphere but shes finding costs are getting out of hand.  Any help with the cost of the band would be really appreciated'.

Some people will be offended, some not.

#20 the wudges

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:13 PM

Can a friend organise it as a present from a group of guests? If I got an email saying "X is organising her party and while I know she doesn't want presents, I feel that we should get her something - how about we all chip in for the band?", I would be happy to do that.

Otherwise I think she might have to cancel the band.



#21 Guest_Maybelle_*

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:15 PM

QUOTE (vanessa71 @ 21/11/2012, 01:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Loved that you used 'mix tape', Maybelle.  original.gif


Aye, well it is a mix tape and always will be, no matter what fancy, modern day equipment you are using  biggrin.gif

OP, I would be happy to throw in if I was asked before the party...it is being asked at the party that I find odd...people need to budget for such things and being put on the spot is what I think is a bit off.

QUOTE (the wudges @ 21/11/2012, 02:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can a friend organise it as a present from a group of guests? If I got an email saying "X is organising her party and while I know she doesn't want presents, I feel that we should get her something - how about we all chip in for the band?", I would be happy to do that.

Otherwise I think she might have to cancel the band.


Agree with this...can you make the calls?

#22 bakesgirls

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:16 PM

Your friend doesn't know how to word it, because there is no way to politely word it.

She should cancel the band is she can't afford it.

#23 Turn left

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:17 PM

Um...cancel the band.  If you can't afford to pay, you don't ask your guests to.


#24 eM_Mille

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:17 PM

Sorry, I can't think of any way to word such a request. I just would never do it - and if I had a strict budget for a party then I never would have booked a band in the first place.

I would instead perhaps cancel the band and ask guests to bring their ipod play lists!

#25 weepingangel

Posted 21 November 2012 - 04:18 PM

LOL @ the tape mix!

I tend to agree with the "ditch the band, go with the iPod" consensus.

However, if it's really not an option then go with the suggestion of an email/call from a friend as above original.gif






0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Kelly Clarkson shares first photos of son

Kelly Clarkson has shown off the first photos of her son, Remington Alexander Blackstock.

5 childbirth myths that need to be busted

Birth is an unpredictable, mysterious process that intrigues us all, and there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Mum of three fatally shot by toddler while driving

A US mother has been shot by her toddler while driving on a highway in Wisconsin.

All you need is one minute to work out

The seven-minute-work out is old news. Research shows the effectiveness of going hell-for-leather for just one minute.

Pregnant women needed to join diabetes study

Pregnant woman in country Australia will help Adelaide researchers figure out why cases of type 1 diabetes have doubled over the past two decades.

Just announced: the Mountain Buggy Unirider

It's the perfect solution to combat those toddler meltdowns when they no longer want to be in a pram but can't walk long distances.

Authorities euthanise dog that fatally bit a newborn baby

A pit bull mix that fatally bit a 3-day-old infant last week has been euthanised, authorities said.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Why it's perfectly natural to dislike other people's children

Members of a popular forum are fiercely debating whether it is acceptable to dislike a friend's child.

Woman gives birth on plane, names baby after airline

A pregnant woman who unexpectedly gave birth on a flight has named her new baby after the airline, Jetstar.

Heartwarming photos show the joy of adoption after foster care

Children living in foster care can feel like their future is less than clear. But that uncertainty disappears the day they are adopted by their "forever family" 

'Oh my god, it's a baby!' Mum shocked to give birth

When the cramps started to kick in, Klara Dollan just assumed a painful period was starting.

Mum's Facebook plea: 'Help me find my daughter's father'

Kerryn has a unusual present planned for daughter Imi's 13th birthday celebrations - she hopes to be able to be able to give the soon-to-be the teenager her first ever photo of her dad.

Is it possible for your house to be too clean?

Our houses are cleaner than ever before. But how clean is too clean? Could a sterile home be putting your family's health at risk?

Millions of Monkeys: puzzles that grow with your toddler

Here's a puzzle that grows with them; the Puzzle Grow Pack by Millions of Monkeys.

Baby names from Britpop

If you grew up in the 90s you might want to look to the genre of Britpop music for baby name inspiration.

What to eat and drink when you have gastro

When you catch a bug that causes acute infectious gastroenteritis (gastro), your stomach and intestinal tract become inflamed, causing diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramping and pain. The last thing you probably feel like doing is eating.

'To this day, I owe her my life'

Would I have survived if I hadn't crossed that street?

Why baby Sonny needs you to vaccinate your children

Caitlin is a firm believer in the importance of immunisation to protect children from harmful and deadly diseases.

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.