Jump to content

TTC after compulsory termination due to abnormality


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 Mrsjessiccas

Posted 21 November 2012 - 11:25 AM

Hi there all,
My husband and I are currently TTC, after loss last year.
We got pregnant last year, and at our 12 week scan everything seemed amazing.We weren't told anything really, we were just excited about seeing out baby.The next day we got a call from the doc with the results and got called in ASAP.He told me that the baby looked like it had gastrochisis and the umbilical cord was very short so the baby would probably be fine as many people have variations of this abnormality, depending on the severity some babies need surgery after birth. Basically it meant that our babys organs were growing on the outside of its body, and there was a hole in its chest/tummy so all his intestines were outside and possibly it's heart too sad.gif
I was terrified but I knew I loved my baby and would have done anything to have it healthy and safe.We had to be referred to a hospital ASAP to have more tests and ultrasounds to properly look at the issue.
Hubby and I went together, and they did an internal ultrasound, there was about 5 doctors and nurses all looking at the screen and talking saying things we didn't understand.
Then they turned off the monitor and one doctor sat on the side of the bed with me and said "you have a very sick baby in there" I immediately started to cry, I could tell it wasn't going to be good, but nothing prepared me for what happened next, she said that the baby had gastrochisis but also had what they call body stalk anomaly.Our baby's spine was on a 90 degree angle and they said that neither me or baby would survive a birth:( I just broke down.
Two days later on 11 Novemer 2011 I had no choice but to have a termination of pregnancy in hospital, despite being the worst day of my life I was also scared of surgery as I'd never been under gas before.Hubby and my sister in law came to support me in the hospital, it was a horrific experience. Just three days before had been the happiest day of our lives seeing our baby wave at us during the first ultrasound, and now it was all being taken away.
It's just over a year later and we are now TTC again, I actually think I might already have conceived, but I'm terrified to do a test and find out for certain.
What if something bad happens again? I don't think I would cope, I barely survived the first loss!Any comments appreciated xx

#2 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 21 November 2012 - 11:51 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss, I didn't want to read and not reply. I can't imagine going through what you experienced.

I had a very anxious pregnancy after 8 goes of IVF and multiple early losses, compounded by a PPROM scare at 18 weeks.    

My OB was really good and let me have extra visits with a very quick office scan just to reassure me.  She gave me her mobile so I could call her any time - I didn't but it helped knowing I could.   I also went into the delivery suite a few times for reasurance and they were amazing.  

I regret how anxious I was, as I didn't enjoy the pregancy at all.  For example I couldn't bear to buy any little things or have a baby shower as I was too worried about "jinxing".   In retrospect I spoiled what could have been a lovely time.   I was also irrationally jealous of all the other pregnant women who I felt still had their "innocence" about what could happen.

Not sure what I could have done better to get on top of my anxiety - probably should have had some counselling .   One thing which did help was trying to practice mindfulness (living in the present moment):

http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/docs/M...verydayLife.pdf

Sometimes when worries were getting on top of me, I would imagine my baby as a happy healthy 6 - 7 year old (my favourite age for kids) and make a list of all the fun things we were going to do.

I hope you do the test and it comes up positive, and all the best.

Edited by meggs1, 21 November 2012 - 11:53 AM.


#3 Mrs Mc

Posted 21 November 2012 - 12:21 PM

I am so sorry to read this, i could not, not post.

I really dont have any advice, other than i am thinking of you and i hope everything goes as you plan.

#4 klr70

Posted 21 November 2012 - 12:25 PM

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Unfortunately, I can relate to your situation - out of 3 pregnancies, I have one baby. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. My second pregnancy ended in a stillbirth at 20wks 1 day. All had been going well up until the scan at 18.5wks, where issues were detected (different issues to your baby, & ones that couldn't be detected at 12wks). We had just over a week for further testing & to make a decision to continue with the pregnancy or not. After careful consideration, we opted to not continue with the pregnancy. A horrible decision to have to make, but the right one for us. I also haemorrhaged after the birth & was rushed to theatre, so it took a long time for me to recover physically, as well as mentally, & be 'ready' for another try (my age is also against me TTC, so I couldn't wait too long).

I spent a very anxious 38wks 3days pregnant with my DS. I kept waiting for something to go wrong, I didn't buy any baby stuff (cot, pram, etc) until about 33wks... my rationale was partly not to 'jinx' things & that if we got past 32wks & something went wrong, chances were pretty good that our baby would survive.

I found that there wasn't anything that anyone could say or do that would make me less anxious - I just accepted that I would do my best with the things that I could control (e.g. eat well, take vitamins, not drink alcohol), & cross my fingers & hope for the best for the things that were outside of my control. The relief when my DS was born healthy was amazing (& now there are a whole different set of worries - but that's called being a parent!).

I wish you all the best with TTC & have my fingers crossed for you for a healthy pregnancy & baby.

If you need someone to listen to your anxieties, feel free to PM me.

#5 Grobanite

Posted 21 November 2012 - 12:31 PM

I terminated my pregnancy at 20 weeks due to my baby having HLHS or basically the left side of his heart was working.
It was the hardest and also saddest thing myself and my Dh have been through.
When I fell pregnant again I was worried up until my 12 week scan. I them even worried up and until my 20 week scan.
I know what you are going through.
I am assuming that because you are TTC that the Dr's said the chances of it happening again are slim.
I can only say that I hope it all goes well for you and that this time you have a healthy baby.
Maybe you could ask your Dr to line up a counsellor for you talk to during this difficult road you are on and help you cope.

Edited by Grobanite, 21 November 2012 - 12:31 PM.


#6 Mrsjessiccas

Posted 22 November 2012 - 01:31 PM

original.gif Thank you all for your replies. It means so much, I knew I wasnt alone in my worries but the reassurance that I'm not crazy is nice! Yes the doctors said that it was a very rare thing to happen and that the chances of it happening again was practically zero, but I still worry about something going wrong.They don't even know specifically what causes the abnormality to occur- which I think makes it worse, they told us it was nothing that we did wrong it's just unfortunate... But sometimes I think it would be easier to accept if it was eg because I ate something or because of ______ whatever, at least I would have something to avoid doing wrong this time! But I'm trying to stay positive, still haven't tested yet because Hb is away for work till tomorrow, maybe I'll muster the courage once he comes home.
I'm so sorry to hear about all your losses, Thankyou for your tips and strategies and stories xxx


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Kelly Clarkson shares first photos of son

Kelly Clarkson has shown off the first photos of her son, Remington Alexander Blackstock.

5 childbirth myths that need to be busted

Birth is an unpredictable, mysterious process that intrigues us all, and there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Mum of three fatally shot by toddler while driving

A US mother has been shot by her toddler while driving on a highway in Wisconsin.

All you need is one minute to work out

The seven-minute-work out is old news. Research shows the effectiveness of going hell-for-leather for just one minute.

Pregnant women needed to join diabetes study

Pregnant woman in country Australia will help Adelaide researchers figure out why cases of type 1 diabetes have doubled over the past two decades.

Just announced: the Mountain Buggy Unirider

It's the perfect solution to combat those toddler meltdowns when they no longer want to be in a pram but can't walk long distances.

Authorities euthanise dog that fatally bit a newborn baby

A pit bull mix that fatally bit a 3-day-old infant last week has been euthanised, authorities said.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Why it's perfectly natural to dislike other people's children

Members of a popular forum are fiercely debating whether it is acceptable to dislike a friend's child.

Woman gives birth on plane, names baby after airline

A pregnant woman who unexpectedly gave birth on a flight has named her new baby after the airline, Jetstar.

Heartwarming photos show the joy of adoption after foster care

Children living in foster care can feel like their future is less than clear. But that uncertainty disappears the day they are adopted by their "forever family" 

'Oh my god, it's a baby!' Mum shocked to give birth

When the cramps started to kick in, Klara Dollan just assumed a painful period was starting.

Mum's Facebook plea: 'Help me find my daughter's father'

Kerryn has a unusual present planned for daughter Imi's 13th birthday celebrations - she hopes to be able to be able to give the soon-to-be the teenager her first ever photo of her dad.

Is it possible for your house to be too clean?

Our houses are cleaner than ever before. But how clean is too clean? Could a sterile home be putting your family's health at risk?

Millions of Monkeys: puzzles that grow with your toddler

Here's a puzzle that grows with them; the Puzzle Grow Pack by Millions of Monkeys.

Baby names from Britpop

If you grew up in the 90s you might want to look to the genre of Britpop music for baby name inspiration.

What to eat and drink when you have gastro

When you catch a bug that causes acute infectious gastroenteritis (gastro), your stomach and intestinal tract become inflamed, causing diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramping and pain. The last thing you probably feel like doing is eating.

'To this day, I owe her my life'

Would I have survived if I hadn't crossed that street?

Why baby Sonny needs you to vaccinate your children

Caitlin is a firm believer in the importance of immunisation to protect children from harmful and deadly diseases.

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.