Jump to content

Sick of being judged by my BMI


  • Please log in to reply
8 replies to this topic

#1 Linda6

Posted 20 November 2012 - 10:07 PM

Hi

I accidentally replied to an old thread today about being fat and pregnant but thought I would share what I have been going through. I had issues with my pill (I'm assuming it was that) which saw me put on 40kg very quickly. I have been struggling to get the weight off. The reason I assume it was my pill was basically when I stopped the weight would start coming off and as soon as I started the weight piled back on (noticeably, people told me they could tell when I would start and stop because my weight would change dramatically). Anyway, that's not what I'm here to discuss. I'm here because I'm sick of being treated differently because of my BMI.

I know some people will say that the way I am being treated is for my own health but seriously unless you experience it for yourself you don't fully understand.

I went for my first hospital appointment at 11 weeks and had a great reception by the midwives they were lovely then I saw the trainee doctor. He had no bedside manner and after leaving me alone in the room for 20-30 minutes while he spoke to his consultant came back told me that they couldn't see me at that hospital any more because of my weight and wrote out a referral for an early GTT.
It wasn't what he said but the way he said it. It was very cold, and he didn't explain anything that would happen. I was so upset, I cried all that afternoon.

That's where my aloneness started. This was in September and when the new hospital called me to make an appointment it wasn't made until mid November.

It took me weeks to find out where I would go to get the results of the GTT because as it turns out my new hospital will only deal with me for the birth and not for any appointments prior to that. After weeks of calling to find out what was going on I eventually got an appointment with my original hospital at 20 weeks (apparently they are supposed to continue seeing me automatically and the way I was handled was not inline with procedure).

My only issue is my weight I don't have GD, high blood pressure or any other medical complication and my baby's growth is in the mid range for growth (not too large and not too small).

Yet at my appointments the first thing mentioned is my weight and this is mentioned at a minimum of 5 times per appointment. At no time do they discuss the positive outcome of a labor. They continuously mention statistics but at no stage do they actually say what these statistics are (ie percentages of overweight women and complications when they have absolutely nothing else wrong with them)

I live over 1 hours drive from the new hospital and when I asked how I get to the hospital when I go into labour as my husband would most likely be at work (he works 1 1/2 hours travel from home - if there's an express train - plus the extra 1 hour back to the hospital) I was told that I wouldn't go to that hospital first I would go to my local hospital and if there were no risks in my labour I would birth there.

I don't understand why I am going through all this crap when the most likely outcome is that I will birth at the original hospital.

What is happening is I see Dr's very infrequently at the moment - which is a bit daunting with your first child when you don't know what to expect - you can't have access to midwife care - and you have no idea what is going on half the time.

Seriously tell us (people with high BMI) the risks, let us know that if we present for labour and there are complications on the day we will be transferred to x hospital (just like any other woman) but don't put us through this crap to start with. Treat us like pregnant women as that is what we are and most of all please treat us with respect. We have that right just like anyone else.

Linda

#2 Sancti-claws

Posted 20 November 2012 - 10:28 PM

I am so sorry that you are being treated like this, Linda - I am not from this section but saw it in recent topics.

I have found it very hard in each pregnancy, so I can only imagine with the additional run-around that you have been given it would seriously be doing my head in!!

#3 Linda6

Posted 20 November 2012 - 10:40 PM

QUOTE (suziej @ 20/11/2012, 10:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am so sorry that you are being treated like this, Linda - I am not from this section but saw it in recent topics.

I have found it very hard in each pregnancy, so I can only imagine with the additional run-around that you have been given it would seriously be doing my head in!!


Thanks, I know it's because I don't fit into their little box. But the comment last week that I would go to the original hospital and would more than likely have the baby there just made me wonder why they are acting the way they are now. They could just as easily give me the doom and gloom stories at my original hospital without the need to go to both.

#4 butterflydreaming

Posted 20 November 2012 - 10:57 PM

I am sorry you have been given the run around, if your not happy with the lack of care could you do shared care with your GP that way you could have more frequent appointments.


I am also a plus size lady (size 20 - 22) and have found my experience completely different to yours, in my first pregnancy no mention was made of my weight and I gave birth under midwife care at a small regional hospital.

This pregnancy while they have weighed me every appointment and I was told if my weight went over 130kg I would have to birth at the major maternity hospital here in birth there has been little other mention of my weight and I am again giving birth with the midwife care at a local hospital. I have done shared care for this pregnancy with my GP as well so I have had appointments every two to three weeks either with my GP or at the hospital. I do attend the high risk antenatal clinic but that is due to a completely separate issue from my weight.

#5 Linda6

Posted 21 November 2012 - 07:44 AM

I'm glad your experience has been different.
Perhaps I am just unlucky. I had issues with my dr not telling me all that much either. Ive only been to him for pregnancy stuff the dr I was seeing for about 12 years is now 1 1/2 hours drive each way due to me moving so its a bit far to travel for appointments (I was going to try but my partner said no, he was right though).
I must admit that it's not everyone I deal with that has an issue like unsaid the midwives were great, my dr is pretty good if a little vague, two of the three sonographers (I had a dating scan at 8 weeks) were great, and 2 of the 4 drs I've seen so far have also been great. I guess that's what makes it harder some are saying its all good just continue losing weight after baby is here and others go in the total opposite direction.

#6 Guest_~Songbird~_*

Posted 21 November 2012 - 03:16 PM

.

Edited by *SnowFlower*, 20 February 2013 - 05:56 PM.


#7 Linda6

Posted 21 November 2012 - 05:37 PM

Thanks songbird. I'm sure once baby is here all of this will be insignificant.

I too only really lose weight when I cut out those starchy carbs. I was following a program before I got pregnant but was told not to lose weight so have been a little relaxed with it. I think I'll just work my bottom off while on maternity leave to get ready for our next child. I'm very determined not to go through this again.

#8 malibu71

Posted 21 November 2012 - 06:47 PM

Linda6 I haven't been lucky enough to fall pregnant have been going through IVF - and every time I do a cycle put on weight.

They can find nothing wrong so it MUST be my weight I find this frustrating and unprofessional.

In my experience you need to DEMAND better care just because you heavier doesn't mean you don't deserve respect.  If you don't feel that you are getting it speak up.

This is hard as a bigger person we are made to feel inferior and substandard.  We aren't we deserve to be treated well and if you are feeling like they are being disrespectful they probably are you will be doing a favour for the next 'big' person they deal with perhaps they will think twice before being judgemental.  

You don't need to be nasty but could be assertive.  When they mention your weight you could try something like I'm aware I'm overweight this has been mentioned in previous appointments perhaps we could leave it at that.  

I'm not sure if they realise what they are doing when they do this but is becomes completely disheartening and in some cases makes the entire situation worse.

Good luck - I hope you get through to them, or fluke the good one in the bunch!!

#9 Linda6

Posted 21 November 2012 - 08:10 PM

Malibu71 thank you. My husband dd say something as he came with me to my last appointment. He took it worse than me I think. He pointed out that apart from my weight I am completely healthy and also mentioned that they haven't even taken into account family history with pregnancy's and births.

I'm sorry you haven't fallen pregnant yet. I was following the eating plan suggested by Christine Cronau and doing 2 hours personal training a week (on Saturdays only). I honestly believe that following that plan helped me conceive (my husband was following it too).

Good luck, I hope you get your baby soon.

Linda




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

'My mum doesn't seem that interested in my baby'

Q: My mother and I have always been close, but now that I have a baby, she has not helped out as much as I thought she would.

This mum has donated over 2,000 litres of breast milk

The mother-of-two was diagnosed with hyper-lactation.

New guidelines: "Bottle-feeding mums need support too"

Breast is best, but mums who can't, or choose not to breastfeed need support too.

Call to teach kids about breastfeeding at school

The aim is to increase breastfeeding rates and reduce stigma.

Dads also struggle to 'have it all', study finds

Men and women both experience work-family conflict.

'Working for nothing': Childcare crisis pushes Sydney parents to the brink

Most parents are experiencing substantial difficulties with the financial burden and lack of availability of childcare, as costs have more than doubled for some families in just over a decade.

Language development may start in the womb

Study found babies can recognise foreign languages before birth.

Paying $2.50 for a babycino? This is why...

Aren't babycinos just a bit of froth? Not so, it seems...

I'm a stay-at-home mum who's an awful housewife

"Hey, come here a second," my mum said as she replaced the book in my hands with a wooden spoon covered in what I prayed was red sauce. Together, we walked into the kitchen and hovered over the skillet like we were peering into a crystal ball. Looking into my future, I saw me eating a lot of take away.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

From our network

Five things you need to know about flu and pregnancy

As the 2017 flu season begins in earnest, here?s what you need to know to protect yourself and baby.

Mum tips to keep your pre-baby budget in check

Money might be funny in a rich man's world (or so ABBA told us), but for the rest of us it's a major consideration – particularly before having a baby.

5 easy ways to make your maternity leave last longer

Maternity leave is a special time for you, your partner and your new little bundle. The last thing you want is for financial worries to stand in the way of that joy.

10 ways to keep your 'buying for baby' costs down

Becoming a parent is full of surprises – not least of all finding out that, for such small beings, babies cause a lot of chaos and expense.

5 ways to prepare to go from two incomes to one

Here are some ideas for getting that budget in shape, ready for being a one income family.

 

Baby Names

Need some ideas?

See what names are trending this year.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.