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How to teach 6 month old to self settle?

5 replies to this topic

#1 ~katiez~

Posted 20 November 2012 - 06:04 PM

I have a healthy, fully breastfed (+BLW solids) DD. Her sleeping isn't  amazing but is by no means terrible - we go down at about 7:30pm at  night and wake at about 6:30am in the morning with 1-2 feeds in there.  Occasionally we have 'party nights' where I can't get her back to sleep  or we're up more than that but they are the exception not the rule. Day  sleep isn't great, never has been, but it's getting better and is  functional.

We can't self settle to sleep though. She has always  been quite hard to settle, even as a very tiny newborn. We used to have  3,4, even 5 'false starts' before she was down at night and have  therefore always put her down asleep. I have done a lot of feeding to  sleeping and rocking to sleep, she will fall asleep in car, or pram. But  in the cot - if I put her in awake, she'll chat for a bit and then  squwark!

How do I teach her to fall asleep on her own? I don't  believe in cry it out or any of its 'controlled comforting' cousins, so  how have YOU done it gently? I've read the No Cry sleep solution but  wanted some peoples own methods....

Thanks in advance original.gif

Also posted in 6-12 month section original.gif

#2 axiomae

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:07 PM

There really isn't any way to do it without crying. Even with gentle methods. The 'No-Cry Sleep Solution' should be called the 'No-Cry ALONE Sleep Solution.' The only difference is that you're there while they are crying when they learn to settle, because they will cry. You're changing the rules, it's hard and takes practice. Babies don't like change and you're asking them to do something completely foreign. There will be tears of frustration. I guess it's up to you to do what works for you. There's a big difference between crying to extinction to patting to sleep in a cot (which isn't really self-settling) or camping out. You have to do what you're comfortable with, but do be prepared for tears.

What helps is consistency. Don't change whatever you decide to do. Be consistent. Little ones catch on soon enough. Good luck original.gif

#3 mandala

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:23 PM

I agree with axiomae.

You can't teach a baby to self-settle; all you can do is provide opportunities for them to figure it out for themselves.

With cry it out, you just leave them until they are exhausted and fall asleep. It does work, because they will eventually have to do so - but it's very hard on everyone.

With the comfort settling approaches, your job is to get them calm and then give them the opportunity to fall sleep themselves. Within that, you can be very helpful - patting, rocking, shhing, cuddling until quiet - or less helpful, where you might leave them for a period of time, depending on age.

#4 Mum2TwoDSs

Posted 21 November 2012 - 06:49 PM

Totally curious about this and totally agree with pps.

My bub is almost 6 weeks he needs help with settling and resettling. We try shhing, carrying with patting, dummy, Feeding to sleep. I also co sleep for naps if I am really worn out.

My 7yo had to carried and rocked till he was 17 months with music in the background. It was horrible. But I guess they will grow out of it eventually, he definitely can fall sleep on his own after we weaned him off the carrying and rocking...it's a matter of time...just really tough on us at this phase.

#5 WaitForIt

Posted 22 November 2012 - 01:53 PM

Ugh, I'm becoming obsessed with this... My dd slept through quite early, about 6 weeks, then it was 0-1 feeds, then 1-2, now it's 3, never less. All the other bubs in my mums group are starting to sleep through and mine is going backwards... So over it.

Anyway, I obviously have no advice just wanted to vent and stalk this thread.

Eta lol I'm so sleep deprived, I meant to write about self settling and got completely sidetracked...

Edited by WaitForIt, 23 November 2012 - 10:11 AM.

#6 RachealJane

Posted 22 November 2012 - 01:59 PM

My 2.5 year old is just 'self settling' now. Unless you need to (you are stressed, have to go back to work etc) I would let them learn to do it when they are biologically ready.

Enjoy the cuddles.

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