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Why do people want to TTC twins?

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#1 TillyTake2

Posted 20 November 2012 - 12:42 PM

I hope I don't offend any twin mummies. You do an incredibly amazing job & I realise having twins isn't usually a choice but I'm wondering why it seems quite popular to WANT to hav twins?

I don't have twins but there are a lot in my family & the idea of having twins scares the crap out of me! One baby at a time is hard enough!!

So, if you are one of those people who would actually CHOOSE to have twins why is that? What is it about twins that appeals? Do you have any children yet? Do you have any close family or friends with twins (who you've known since they were babies!)

#2 newyearbaby

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:27 PM

Maybe they don't know how hard it can be, especially if something goes wrong? Or maybe they like the attention it brings? Or maybe they just love the idea of having two at once to save having another pregnancy?

I didn't really know anyone with twins, just knew adult twins really, before having mine. But I am loving having twins now. It's very interesting as they are 2 very different babies. And they are starting to like having each other around. It's a bit different which is always good.

I'm interested in what made you ask this?

#3 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:29 PM

I have twins, but would never choose it (though we knew the risks when TTC were high due to ovulation induction).

Honestly I think most are just idiots who see twins as "oh so cute", get that pigeon pair out of the way in just one pregnancy, who cares if it puts not only your life but the life of your unborn children at risk because hey "that won't happen to me".

I absolutely adore my children, but I had complications during my twin pregnancy that put my babies at risk, it was hard, I felt so so bad for DS1 who spent very little time with me due to me being put on and off bed rest, I don't think he remembers any of it due to his age, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened.

Edited to add: I have known two sets of identical twins since primary school, though I can't ever really having a conversation with them about any of it, 4 very different people, who just happen to look alike (so damn hard to tell them apart from their twin even after all this time lol).

Edited by mad madam mim, 20 November 2012 - 01:32 PM.

#4 nessrose

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:37 PM

I've had a singleton, twins, singleton, conceived twins again but lost one.

The idea of twins appealed to me as I am a twin myself. it was great growing up with a brother the same age as me. We did everything together as kids, got to start school together, although always had different sets of friends and are great mates. My other sisters and brother were many years older than us.

I guess some people just think of the cuteness factor and not the risks involved in having them, the hard work and sleepless nights.

If I could choose, yes i would have our angel twin with us. It makes me really sad looking at DD5 and thinking we should of had a 6th one too. sad.gif  I'm sad for her that she will miss out on the special bond I had with my brother growing up. I suppose she won't know any different though.

I guess everyone is different. I always wanted a big family so it wasn't an issue.

#5 Isolabella

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:37 PM

I jokingly wanted my 2 nd PG to be twins.... But that was to take out the argument of whether we had two or three kids.

With my 3 rd PG I was" thank god it is only 1" at the dating scan.

My best friends in primary school were ID twins and late high school,fraternal twins.

Edited by lsolaBella, 20 November 2012 - 01:39 PM.

#6 MrsLexiK

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:44 PM

QUOTE (lsolaBella @ 20/11/2012, 02:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I jokingly wanted my 2 nd PG to be twins.... But that was to take out the argument of whether we had two or three kids.

This is me, I don't want to do pregnancy again, the stress of miscarriage or something else going wrong (not to mention any horrible pregnancy symptons) just worries me too much, the fact that we got pregnant without IVF is amazing and I don't think I can go on the TTC roller coaster again.  But in all honesty sometimes I would like more then one child.  I know DH would have 2 - 3 easily.  I know there are risks involved with a twin pregnancy, but if they told us it was twins up front I wouldn't have been to scared/worried.

#7 TinyTeddys

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:44 PM

A friend of mine (with many sets of twins in her family) wants twins for her second pregnancy purely because her husband wants to stop at two and she wants three kids.

#8 la di dah

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:46 PM

There are two sets of twins in my family (cousins to me and cousins to each other). One b/g and one g/g.

If you're not informed of the health issues it can seem really cool and cute. And honestly, the fact that twins face a much higher risk of dangers in utero and ongoing issues is not really well known by the public at large.

I don't think people think "ooh, I want a pair!" because they're mean or dismissive of the real issues I think most don't even know.

You hear about dangers for higher order multiples, but even with that I've met people who think the issue is using some medical process/drug and not that even naturally-conceived multiples are much more risky than singletons. "Oh I wouldn't have 8 babies put inside me, I know that's not natural/healthy, but if I could just have natural twins/triplets..." it's innocence, really, that makes people say that, not malice or something. Though I can understand why it bothers mothers of multiples.

#9 Isobell

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:50 PM

I wanted twins once. I was TTC for 5 years with multiple IVF cycles. After 3 failed cycles we started to transfer 2 embryos at once. I knew the risks but thought it would be wonderful to have 2 children "guaranteed" instead of the uncertainty of going back to IVF to try for #2.
Now that I have my wonderful DS I am soooo glad we didn't get twins. He is average I think, not easy, but certainly not hard, but I have struggled and found it much harder than I expected. I don't think I would have coped with twins, at all. And although I want another, I am scared of having twins next time. Being over 35 and using IVF makes it a real possibility. Eeek.

#10 LittleYellowBirdie

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:51 PM

I like the idea but don't like the fact is involving lots of hard works and I am still just barely coping with 1 child atm.  

For me and DH are age factor.  after 2nd child, we will be 35 YO and I would like to have 3 kids.. but I don't think it's gonna happen.  So we stick with 2 kids instead.

#11 Magnus

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:57 PM

I think twins are so gorgeous and I love the photos of twin babies in a snuggle huddle together. I also like the idea of having someone the same age as you who could grow up to know you the best and become an amazing part of your life.

However, I am aware of some of the risks of twin pregnancies with prematurity, etc. and the possible complications of that and would never actually CHOOSE to have them.

I'm not sure many people do actually have much choice, though. Obviously, the people who conceive naturally can't choose.* When you're going through IVF a lot of fertility specialists will really try to reduce the likelihood of twins too (ours counts it as a negative outcome). So there'd be very few situations where people would be able to be like "Hey, let's have twins! They'll look so cute in their matching outfits!"

ETA: I suppose they could choose to reduce through selective abortion.

Edited by Magnus, 20 November 2012 - 02:00 PM.

#12 Jo-Anna

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:09 PM

As someone who its pregnant with twins, I have no idea why anyone would choose to have twins. I have found the pregnancy so far extremely taxing, and i'm only 16 Weeks! Not only that, there is the higher risk of complications, the higher chance of not having Natural delivery, and not to mention two newborns to care for while raising a toddler.... Not something I would wish on anyone. Yet here I am!

#13 CallMeFeral

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:12 PM

I would have liked twins, if there was a way to rule out all the potential health complications. My reasons are as follows:
- I hate pregnancy and childbirth, so if I could get two babies from one pregnancy I'd be cheering (taking out the factor of whether it would be a worse pregnancy)
- I'm a 'get the bad bit out of the way' sort of person, so I imagine I'd rather suffer through two newborns and know it was over with, than have one and know I had to do it all again.
- pregnancy damages my pelvis, so all other things being equal, the more kids I get for the fewer pregnancies, the better. Every time I try for another child, I risk having permanent mobility problems.
- I don't like entertaining kids, so hopefully twins, from a certain age, would entertain each other.
- my dad is a twin, and was very close to his brother. I'd like my kids to have that.
- time - I only have so much good reproductive time left, and twins would mean I spend less of that being pregnant or having newborns

Obviously things don't always work out that way, but that would be the reasons I'd have liked twins. Instead I have two so close together that they are wonderfully close and entertain eachother and all the things I'd have wished for with twins, but it was a very hard two years of newborns, and newborn/toddler just sucks.
I do worry about if I have another child, they won't have anyone to be that close to - because there's no bloody way I'm doing pregnancy TWO more times.

#14 Caitlin Happymeal

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:18 PM

I don't know. We did a double transfer simply because our Dr said it gave us the most chance blah blah blah. But I know now that's not actually how it works.

Anyway, why anyone would want to a) go through what I did with newborns and b) go through what I'm going through with 3 year olds is BEYOND me.

I wont begin to bore you with their behavioral stuff of late, but suffice it to say that me sobbing in a corner is becoming more frequent and is no longer just a joke I make. Today it was in a major shopping center car park, that was fun.

So, I have no idea why anyone would WANT to go through what I am going through.

#15 Iliketoflounce

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:19 PM

I think they are crazy for wanting twins. I am currently ttc#1 and I have a chance of twins and triplets (runs in the family) I only want one at a time and I would only be able to carry on at a time

#16 EssentialBludger

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:30 PM

I honestly have no idea. The very thought scares the absolute sh*t out of me. I struggle with one baby at a time and have a DP away for 90% of the year. Two would kill me.

I'd even go as far to say I'd terminate without a second thought if I found myself pregnant with twins. ph34r.gif

#17 BetteBoop

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:30 PM

I know a few people with twins from IVF. Not one couple chose to have twins. It was more in keeping with what Kitty N said.

#18 Velvetta

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:37 PM

Although EB has alerted me to all the dangers and hardships of having twins, I still think twinness is gorgeous, I love twin language and the bond between them.   I think I'm a bit jealous that I don't have a twin actually.

#19 Mpjp is feral

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:39 PM

I was infertile, adopting, and requested twins. Mainly bc adoption is so expensive I wasn't sure we could afford another and I really wanted my child/ren to have sibling/s.

Then I became friends with a couple of people taht have twins and my hat goes off to them. I had NO idea how much work it was and how difficult it could be (and joyful of course). But SO HARD!!

I was jealous of people that got to adopt twins until that point. Then I was really glad to have a singleton!

#20 newyearbaby

Posted 20 November 2012 - 04:22 PM

Re: pelvis not coping with pregnancy very well, therefore a twin one would save one pregnancy, etc. - a twin pregnancy is not going to help as you carry double the weight, which means more pressure on your pelvis. Just a thought.

And to the lady that has 2 babies close in age and fears a later baby wouldn't have someone to be close to, you can't guarantee who is going to be close to who. Growing up, I was actually closest to my sister who is 4 years older, than I was to my sister who was 2 years older. And I know 2 sets of twins that can't stand each other. So "twinship" isn't guaranteed either.

#21 All-New

Posted 20 November 2012 - 05:10 PM

QUOTE (lsolaBella @ 20/11/2012, 11:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I jokingly wanted my 2 nd PG to be twins.... But that was to take out the argument of whether we had two or three kids.

This was us, neither of us got our own way, that will teach us for disagreeing!

FWIW my micro premmie triplets, both in newborn and toddler stage, have been a breeze compared to my 3yo.  I found I was much more confident mother the second time around. When they hit three I may have a different story to tell.

#22 Handsfull

Posted 20 November 2012 - 05:15 PM

We (including all our doctors and specialists!!) thought we were only having one until we got to 12 weeks.  When scan picked up No. 2!!

Floored us all.   Did know anything different, so ignorance was bliss in our case.....Love them to bits!

#23 Zephie Chugger

Posted 20 November 2012 - 05:52 PM

I wanted twins once. I was TTC for 5 years with multiple IVF cycles. After 3 failed cycles we started to transfer 2 embryos at once. I knew the risks but thought it would be wonderful to have 2 children "guaranteed" instead of the uncertainty of going back to IVF to try for #2.

Ok I'm crazy I would love twins, they run in the family (sister,aunts, cousins,all twins plus other sister is carrying twins)
As a foster parent I have already "worked" with two sets of twins (one set newborn, the other 15 months) so I know how "hard" it can be.
My boys are already close in age (13 months differences) so to have twins will finish the family I'm worried that carrying  back to back( I'm getting old)  may do do my body in.( yes, I know carrying twins can also do the body in)  
And last, If I'm paying for IVF I would like two for the price of one.

#24 Black Velvet

Posted 20 November 2012 - 06:13 PM

I have twin boys (naturally conceived) as well as an older son. I love them all with all my heart.

Knowing what it was like in the first year, I honestly don't know why people would wish for twins. It was just a blur of feeding, changing, getting to sleep etc. There was little just one on one time for either of them, so I feel they were "ripped off" lol so to speak. Of course I wouldn't change a thing now.

#25 anonplease

Posted 20 November 2012 - 06:40 PM

They really must have no real idea - sorry to put it bluntly. xmas_cool.gif

The journey starts with a high risk pregnancy with scans every 3 weeks (MCDA). Early arrival of the twins = Special Care Nursery.

And then....... everything Kitty-N said.  My Day - My 2 x 2yr olds at a swimming carnival for 3 hours today.  I came home and feel asleep on the couch absolutely shattered.

Combine that with a 5 and a 7 year old and I feel absolutely loopy.

Twins on their own = maybe.  Twins with other siblings = crazy.

Yes I love them, and never would want it any other way, but its damn hard work.

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