Jump to content

Why do people want to TTC twins?

  • Please log in to reply
46 replies to this topic

#1 TillyTake2

Posted 20 November 2012 - 12:42 PM

I hope I don't offend any twin mummies. You do an incredibly amazing job & I realise having twins isn't usually a choice but I'm wondering why it seems quite popular to WANT to hav twins?

I don't have twins but there are a lot in my family & the idea of having twins scares the crap out of me! One baby at a time is hard enough!!

So, if you are one of those people who would actually CHOOSE to have twins why is that? What is it about twins that appeals? Do you have any children yet? Do you have any close family or friends with twins (who you've known since they were babies!)

#2 newyearbaby

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:27 PM

Maybe they don't know how hard it can be, especially if something goes wrong? Or maybe they like the attention it brings? Or maybe they just love the idea of having two at once to save having another pregnancy?

I didn't really know anyone with twins, just knew adult twins really, before having mine. But I am loving having twins now. It's very interesting as they are 2 very different babies. And they are starting to like having each other around. It's a bit different which is always good.

I'm interested in what made you ask this?

#3 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:29 PM

I have twins, but would never choose it (though we knew the risks when TTC were high due to ovulation induction).

Honestly I think most are just idiots who see twins as "oh so cute", get that pigeon pair out of the way in just one pregnancy, who cares if it puts not only your life but the life of your unborn children at risk because hey "that won't happen to me".

I absolutely adore my children, but I had complications during my twin pregnancy that put my babies at risk, it was hard, I felt so so bad for DS1 who spent very little time with me due to me being put on and off bed rest, I don't think he remembers any of it due to his age, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened.

Edited to add: I have known two sets of identical twins since primary school, though I can't ever really having a conversation with them about any of it, 4 very different people, who just happen to look alike (so damn hard to tell them apart from their twin even after all this time lol).

Edited by mad madam mim, 20 November 2012 - 01:32 PM.

#4 nessrose

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:37 PM

I've had a singleton, twins, singleton, conceived twins again but lost one.

The idea of twins appealed to me as I am a twin myself. it was great growing up with a brother the same age as me. We did everything together as kids, got to start school together, although always had different sets of friends and are great mates. My other sisters and brother were many years older than us.

I guess some people just think of the cuteness factor and not the risks involved in having them, the hard work and sleepless nights.

If I could choose, yes i would have our angel twin with us. It makes me really sad looking at DD5 and thinking we should of had a 6th one too. sad.gif  I'm sad for her that she will miss out on the special bond I had with my brother growing up. I suppose she won't know any different though.

I guess everyone is different. I always wanted a big family so it wasn't an issue.

#5 Isolabella

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:37 PM

I jokingly wanted my 2 nd PG to be twins.... But that was to take out the argument of whether we had two or three kids.

With my 3 rd PG I was" thank god it is only 1" at the dating scan.

My best friends in primary school were ID twins and late high school,fraternal twins.

Edited by lsolaBella, 20 November 2012 - 01:39 PM.

#6 MrsLexiK

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:44 PM

QUOTE (lsolaBella @ 20/11/2012, 02:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I jokingly wanted my 2 nd PG to be twins.... But that was to take out the argument of whether we had two or three kids.

This is me, I don't want to do pregnancy again, the stress of miscarriage or something else going wrong (not to mention any horrible pregnancy symptons) just worries me too much, the fact that we got pregnant without IVF is amazing and I don't think I can go on the TTC roller coaster again.  But in all honesty sometimes I would like more then one child.  I know DH would have 2 - 3 easily.  I know there are risks involved with a twin pregnancy, but if they told us it was twins up front I wouldn't have been to scared/worried.

#7 TinyTeddys

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:44 PM

A friend of mine (with many sets of twins in her family) wants twins for her second pregnancy purely because her husband wants to stop at two and she wants three kids.

#8 la di dah

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:46 PM

There are two sets of twins in my family (cousins to me and cousins to each other). One b/g and one g/g.

If you're not informed of the health issues it can seem really cool and cute. And honestly, the fact that twins face a much higher risk of dangers in utero and ongoing issues is not really well known by the public at large.

I don't think people think "ooh, I want a pair!" because they're mean or dismissive of the real issues I think most don't even know.

You hear about dangers for higher order multiples, but even with that I've met people who think the issue is using some medical process/drug and not that even naturally-conceived multiples are much more risky than singletons. "Oh I wouldn't have 8 babies put inside me, I know that's not natural/healthy, but if I could just have natural twins/triplets..." it's innocence, really, that makes people say that, not malice or something. Though I can understand why it bothers mothers of multiples.

#9 Isobell

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:50 PM

I wanted twins once. I was TTC for 5 years with multiple IVF cycles. After 3 failed cycles we started to transfer 2 embryos at once. I knew the risks but thought it would be wonderful to have 2 children "guaranteed" instead of the uncertainty of going back to IVF to try for #2.
Now that I have my wonderful DS I am soooo glad we didn't get twins. He is average I think, not easy, but certainly not hard, but I have struggled and found it much harder than I expected. I don't think I would have coped with twins, at all. And although I want another, I am scared of having twins next time. Being over 35 and using IVF makes it a real possibility. Eeek.

#10 LittleYellowBirdie

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:51 PM

I like the idea but don't like the fact is involving lots of hard works and I am still just barely coping with 1 child atm.  

For me and DH are age factor.  after 2nd child, we will be 35 YO and I would like to have 3 kids.. but I don't think it's gonna happen.  So we stick with 2 kids instead.

#11 Magnus

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:57 PM

I think twins are so gorgeous and I love the photos of twin babies in a snuggle huddle together. I also like the idea of having someone the same age as you who could grow up to know you the best and become an amazing part of your life.

However, I am aware of some of the risks of twin pregnancies with prematurity, etc. and the possible complications of that and would never actually CHOOSE to have them.

I'm not sure many people do actually have much choice, though. Obviously, the people who conceive naturally can't choose.* When you're going through IVF a lot of fertility specialists will really try to reduce the likelihood of twins too (ours counts it as a negative outcome). So there'd be very few situations where people would be able to be like "Hey, let's have twins! They'll look so cute in their matching outfits!"

ETA: I suppose they could choose to reduce through selective abortion.

Edited by Magnus, 20 November 2012 - 02:00 PM.

#12 Jo-Anna

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:09 PM

As someone who its pregnant with twins, I have no idea why anyone would choose to have twins. I have found the pregnancy so far extremely taxing, and i'm only 16 Weeks! Not only that, there is the higher risk of complications, the higher chance of not having Natural delivery, and not to mention two newborns to care for while raising a toddler.... Not something I would wish on anyone. Yet here I am!

#13 CallMeFeral

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:12 PM

I would have liked twins, if there was a way to rule out all the potential health complications. My reasons are as follows:
- I hate pregnancy and childbirth, so if I could get two babies from one pregnancy I'd be cheering (taking out the factor of whether it would be a worse pregnancy)
- I'm a 'get the bad bit out of the way' sort of person, so I imagine I'd rather suffer through two newborns and know it was over with, than have one and know I had to do it all again.
- pregnancy damages my pelvis, so all other things being equal, the more kids I get for the fewer pregnancies, the better. Every time I try for another child, I risk having permanent mobility problems.
- I don't like entertaining kids, so hopefully twins, from a certain age, would entertain each other.
- my dad is a twin, and was very close to his brother. I'd like my kids to have that.
- time - I only have so much good reproductive time left, and twins would mean I spend less of that being pregnant or having newborns

Obviously things don't always work out that way, but that would be the reasons I'd have liked twins. Instead I have two so close together that they are wonderfully close and entertain eachother and all the things I'd have wished for with twins, but it was a very hard two years of newborns, and newborn/toddler just sucks.
I do worry about if I have another child, they won't have anyone to be that close to - because there's no bloody way I'm doing pregnancy TWO more times.

#14 Caitlin Happymeal

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:18 PM

I don't know. We did a double transfer simply because our Dr said it gave us the most chance blah blah blah. But I know now that's not actually how it works.

Anyway, why anyone would want to a) go through what I did with newborns and b) go through what I'm going through with 3 year olds is BEYOND me.

I wont begin to bore you with their behavioral stuff of late, but suffice it to say that me sobbing in a corner is becoming more frequent and is no longer just a joke I make. Today it was in a major shopping center car park, that was fun.

So, I have no idea why anyone would WANT to go through what I am going through.

#15 Iliketoflounce

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:19 PM

I think they are crazy for wanting twins. I am currently ttc#1 and I have a chance of twins and triplets (runs in the family) I only want one at a time and I would only be able to carry on at a time

#16 EssentialBludger

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:30 PM

I honestly have no idea. The very thought scares the absolute sh*t out of me. I struggle with one baby at a time and have a DP away for 90% of the year. Two would kill me.

I'd even go as far to say I'd terminate without a second thought if I found myself pregnant with twins. ph34r.gif

#17 BetteBoop

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:30 PM

I know a few people with twins from IVF. Not one couple chose to have twins. It was more in keeping with what Kitty N said.

#18 Velvetta

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:37 PM

Although EB has alerted me to all the dangers and hardships of having twins, I still think twinness is gorgeous, I love twin language and the bond between them.   I think I'm a bit jealous that I don't have a twin actually.

#19 Mpjp is feral

Posted 20 November 2012 - 02:39 PM

I was infertile, adopting, and requested twins. Mainly bc adoption is so expensive I wasn't sure we could afford another and I really wanted my child/ren to have sibling/s.

Then I became friends with a couple of people taht have twins and my hat goes off to them. I had NO idea how much work it was and how difficult it could be (and joyful of course). But SO HARD!!

I was jealous of people that got to adopt twins until that point. Then I was really glad to have a singleton!

#20 newyearbaby

Posted 20 November 2012 - 04:22 PM

Re: pelvis not coping with pregnancy very well, therefore a twin one would save one pregnancy, etc. - a twin pregnancy is not going to help as you carry double the weight, which means more pressure on your pelvis. Just a thought.

And to the lady that has 2 babies close in age and fears a later baby wouldn't have someone to be close to, you can't guarantee who is going to be close to who. Growing up, I was actually closest to my sister who is 4 years older, than I was to my sister who was 2 years older. And I know 2 sets of twins that can't stand each other. So "twinship" isn't guaranteed either.

#21 All-New

Posted 20 November 2012 - 05:10 PM

QUOTE (lsolaBella @ 20/11/2012, 11:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I jokingly wanted my 2 nd PG to be twins.... But that was to take out the argument of whether we had two or three kids.

This was us, neither of us got our own way, that will teach us for disagreeing!

FWIW my micro premmie triplets, both in newborn and toddler stage, have been a breeze compared to my 3yo.  I found I was much more confident mother the second time around. When they hit three I may have a different story to tell.

#22 handsfull

Posted 20 November 2012 - 05:15 PM

We (including all our doctors and specialists!!) thought we were only having one until we got to 12 weeks.  When scan picked up No. 2!!

Floored us all.   Did know anything different, so ignorance was bliss in our case.....Love them to bits!

#23 Zephie Chugger

Posted 20 November 2012 - 05:52 PM

I wanted twins once. I was TTC for 5 years with multiple IVF cycles. After 3 failed cycles we started to transfer 2 embryos at once. I knew the risks but thought it would be wonderful to have 2 children "guaranteed" instead of the uncertainty of going back to IVF to try for #2.

Ok I'm crazy I would love twins, they run in the family (sister,aunts, cousins,all twins plus other sister is carrying twins)
As a foster parent I have already "worked" with two sets of twins (one set newborn, the other 15 months) so I know how "hard" it can be.
My boys are already close in age (13 months differences) so to have twins will finish the family I'm worried that carrying  back to back( I'm getting old)  may do do my body in.( yes, I know carrying twins can also do the body in)  
And last, If I'm paying for IVF I would like two for the price of one.

#24 Black Velvet

Posted 20 November 2012 - 06:13 PM

I have twin boys (naturally conceived) as well as an older son. I love them all with all my heart.

Knowing what it was like in the first year, I honestly don't know why people would wish for twins. It was just a blur of feeding, changing, getting to sleep etc. There was little just one on one time for either of them, so I feel they were "ripped off" lol so to speak. Of course I wouldn't change a thing now.

#25 anonplease

Posted 20 November 2012 - 06:40 PM

They really must have no real idea - sorry to put it bluntly. xmas_cool.gif

The journey starts with a high risk pregnancy with scans every 3 weeks (MCDA). Early arrival of the twins = Special Care Nursery.

And then....... everything Kitty-N said.  My Day - My 2 x 2yr olds at a swimming carnival for 3 hours today.  I came home and feel asleep on the couch absolutely shattered.

Combine that with a 5 and a 7 year old and I feel absolutely loopy.

Twins on their own = maybe.  Twins with other siblings = crazy.

Yes I love them, and never would want it any other way, but its damn hard work.

2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

    Google (1)

Kourtney Kardashian goes nude for art

We've all done some pretty radical things after a big break-up, but Kourtney Kardashian has gone one better.

Video shows babies 'singing' to music in the womb

A new study has shown that babies may actually be able to hear from as early as 16 weeks – 10 weeks earlier than was commonly thought.

Prevent pelvic pain with pre-pregnancy exercise: study

Women who want to stave off aches and pains in pregnancy should exercise regularly before they conceive, experts say.

Dad's hilarious blog about life with twins

A stand-up comedian in the UK has plenty of new material since becoming a dad to twin boys.

Dinosaur products for babies and toddlers

Dinosaurs are one of those classic childhood crazes. We've put together a host of products for dinosaur-mad parents, babies and toddlers.

Restaurant manager sticks up for noisy baby

A mum was left upset by a note from neighbouring diners saying her screaming baby had ruined their dinner.

His name is Cayden: Mum and social media hit back after racist Facebook attack

When a man posted a selfie with a co-worker's son to Facebook, it became a magnet for racist comments.

The Chinese tradition for new mums that can now cost $37,000 a month

Opulent rest time is becoming the gold standard in postpartum recovery, inspired by a Chinese confinement custom known as "sitting the month".

How the media can shape our decisions when it comes to labour

We all like to think that we make our choices in fair, reasoned and well-thought out ways. Not many of us would admit that we allowed the media to influence us in our life choices.

Mum told to express in pet relief area at airport

A woman who flew from Boston to Washington says staff with United Airlines at Washington's Dulles Airport suggested she pump her breast milk in the pet-relief area.

Heartbreak as mum dies and her baby chokes to death

An Australian woman living in the US collapsed and died while feeding her baby, who then choked to death on his food. 

The hidden mental health illness of anxiety

Anxiety took over Robyn Read's life to such an extent she could not even buy the groceries and felt suicidal.

Two children fall from second storey window

Two young boys have been rushed to hospital after falling out a second-storey window of a home in Eastwood.

Mum gives birth to India's heaviest baby

An Indian woman has given birth to a baby boy weighing a whopping 5.97kg, setting a new record for the country's heaviest baby.

Grandma surprised with brand new granddaughter

Finding out you’re going to be a grandmother can be a very emotional moment. Finding out that you’re a grandmother and the baby is already here is just out of this world.

Saltwater Sandals for babies and toddlers

Many mamas are wearing Saltwater Sandals - why not buy them for your babies and toddlers too?

How to spring clean your body and mind

Whether you're pregnant, already a mum, or are just trying to be a bit more healthy, there are ways to use the rejuvenating season to give yourself a boost.


What's hot on EB

Stella McCartney honours mum with lacy bra

Fashion designer Stella McCartney has honoured her late mum, Linda McCartney, by designing a special bra for post-mastectomy patients.

Don't panic: A granddad midwife's guide for dads-to-be

Mark Harris has helped deliver 500 babies. And he's now telling fathers what to expect.

How to be a calm parent when you're feeling anything but

Being a calm parent takes a lot of work, sometimes more than is obvious to those around us.

The joy and isolation of being a stay-at-home dad

It's cool, kind of like a second childhood. I love him to bits and think, on average, I'm an okay dad. But I also want to talk about the other stuff.

How baby Teddy's short life is helping save thousands of lives

He may have only lived for 100 minutes, but that didn't stop baby Teddy from saving the lives of others.

A heartbreaking trail of missed chances in death of baby forgotten in car

A haunting reminder to stay mindful about babies in cars, especially as we approach summer.

What to do if your baby has tongue-tie

Tongue-tie can cause feeding problems. However once it is diagnosed, the condition can be easily treated.

How to move house without losing your mind

Some people move frequently, while others like to stay put. But everyone finds it stressful.

'She had nowhere to go': how new mum's life began to unravel

The birth of her first child should have been happiest of times for Campsie mother Phuong Cao, but friends say it marked the beginning of when her life began to unravel. 

Women giving birth to a son keep some of his Y chromosomes

It was an experiment doomed to failure - they were looking for male cells in female bodies. And their search was stunningly successful.

Photos: How babies fit in the womb

A gorgeous photo series shows babies in the first hours after their birth - as they were positioned in the womb.

Baby tries to persuade stubborn bulldog to walk, fails

We don't know what he's saying, but this baby has a very clear message for his bulldog pal: let's walk - NOW.

The best toddler gift ever? Nine gender-neutral play kitchen picks

Without a doubt, one of the best gifts for a toddler turning two or three is a play kitchen.

9 easy steps to improve your baby photography

With a few simple tips you can take your images from random happy snaps to lovely clean images that create beautiful lasting memories.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.