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Chat to Pinky Mckay on EB!
Right here on Tues 20th Nov at 8-9pm


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54 replies to this topic

#1 F.E.B.E

Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:10 AM


Pinky McKay is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, a Certified Infant Massage Instructor, Best-selling author - and one of Essential Baby's most popular contributors.

This week is Post natal and ante natal depression awareness week, and to help support the cause Pinky is going to log on and chat to EB members this Tuesday at 8pm.

Whether you've got questions about feeding, settling, sleep or just keeping it together as a new mum, you can ask Pinky in this thread.

The discussion will be moderated and Pinky may not be able to answer all questions, depending on demand, so you might want to start thinking about what to ask.

See you then!

#2 Therese

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:53 PM

Bump original.gif

#3 R2B2

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:55 PM

I'm confused. it says tuesday 19th November.
today is monday the 19th. is it tonight or tomorrow night?

#4 Therese

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:56 PM

It's tomorrow night original.gif I will get that changed in the post original.gif

#5 F.E.B.E

Posted 20 November 2012 - 08:54 AM

header has been fixed. Bump!

#6 EBmel

Posted 20 November 2012 - 01:12 PM

Just another reminder about tonight original.gif

#7 F.E.B.E

Posted 20 November 2012 - 06:40 PM

Pinky will be here shortly, so we are opening up for questions - ask away!

#8 greenthumbs

Posted 20 November 2012 - 06:48 PM

What can I do about separation anxiety in my 15month old son? He is fine when I'm not in the vacinity (ie nanna's or daycare) but will not accept his father if he is upset or tired. If I'm in the house, he will only accept me.

This is so tiring at times when we've been together all day and I'm then trying to cook dinner and DP would like to spend time with our son. I think it's also upsetting to DP to feel so rejected sad.gif

Is it just a matter of waiting it out?

If it makes any difference, we co-sleep and he is still BF on demand. I work 2 days a week - a he is fine during this time.

Thanks Pinky! (Currently reading your Toddler Tactics book - when I get time! rolleyes.gif Loving it!)

#9 itsbarasti

Posted 20 November 2012 - 06:52 PM

Hello there!

I have a 2 year old who has broken her leg. She has a long running history of sleep issues - at her worst she would be awake each night from 11pm - 4am. It has since been corrected but since she broke her leg she has regressed completely and we are lucky to get 4 hours sleep a night. The tantrums she is throwing (even with a broken leg) is just incredible. We also have a 5 month old baby who is being impacted. Any advice for us to get some sleep ( and some sanity )?
Many thanks
Allison

#10 Miss Kiwi

Posted 20 November 2012 - 06:55 PM

Hi Pinky,
For the last 2 weeks my 9 month old DS wakes hysterical from his afternoon nap. He doesnt want me, doesnt want to play, he doesnt know what he wants. After quite some time he calms and I can start to distract him with play etc but he is a complete grizzle bum for the rest of the afternoon.
Today he wouldnt calm at all and I had to carry and walk around with him. It is horrible!! I dont know whats wrong.

His routine is as follows:

5am - wakes (he has just started doing this as well). If I am lucky he will go back to sleep.
6.30 - was his normal wake up time. Bottle.
7.30 - breakfast
8.30 - 10.00 - Morning Sleep
11am - bottle
12pm - lunch
2.30-4/4.30 - Afternoon Sleep
4.30 - Dinner
5.15 - Bath
6.00 - Bottle
6/6.30 - Bed

Any suggestions as to why he could be doing this? He has just cut his top teeth and I can't see any others looming so I don't think it is teething.

Any tips on getting him out of the 5am wake up would be helpful too (I have tried putting him to bed later but it makes zero difference, he is VERY ready for bed at 6ish.

Thanks very much.

#11 Pinky McKay

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:02 PM

QUOTE (greenthumbs @ 20/11/2012, 06:48 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What can I do about separation anxiety in my 15month old son? He is fine when I'm not in the vacinity (ie nanna's or daycare) but will not accept his father if he is upset or tired. If I'm in the house, he will only accept me.

This is so tiring at times when we've been together all day and I'm then trying to cook dinner and DP would like to spend time with our son. I think it's also upsetting to DP to feel so rejected sad.gif

Is it just a matter of waiting it out?

If it makes any difference, we co-sleep and he is still BF on demand. I work 2 days a week - a he is fine during this time.



This is really quite normal - tired baby wants mama. Perhaps you could prepare dinner during the day then start playing together then you withdraw and leave Dad and baby playing together - perhaps they could start having a bath or shower together or go for a walkk - often this age little ones are happier to 'leave' you than have you 'push them away'.



Thanks Pinky! (Currently reading your Toddler Tactics book - when I get time! rolleyes.gif Loving it!)


#12 munchmum

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:04 PM

Hi pinky

We have just this weekend converted our 2.5 yr olds cot to a bed. We have always had going to bed issues but were doing ok, she was mostly going down without a fuss. Now she wants us to sit with her until she falls asleep, up to 2 hours something we have actually never done but I think they do at daycare. Otherwise she is screaming. Should we just go with this for now or would you suggest something else?

#13 PooksALotLikeXmas

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:07 PM

Hi Pinky,

My 9 month old is absolutely terrible in the car, always has been. I actually haven't driven any more than half and hour trips in months, because his level of distress just makes it seem not worth while- which means we haven't visited his grandparents, his aunt or other friends and relatives, they have had to come to us, and it does keep me isolated.

When possible someone rides in the back with him, but it's not always practical and often does little to stop him becoming distressed.

An additional issue is that he doesn't sleep anywhere except in his cot, or in bed with me, so I am wondering if being tired is part of the problem.

What do you think, is that the best solution (just not traveling more than we absolutely need to) or are there some gentle ways to encourage him to put up with the car rides?

#14 Pinky McKay

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:09 PM

QUOTE (itsbarasti @ 20/11/2012, 06:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hello there!

I have a 2 year old who has broken her leg. She has a long running history of sleep issues - at her worst she would be awake each night from 11pm - 4am. It has since been corrected but since she broke her leg she has regressed completely and we are lucky to get 4 hours sleep a night. The tantrums she is throwing (even with a broken leg) is just incredible. We also have a 5 month old baby who is being impacted. Any advice for us to get some sleep ( and some sanity )?
Many thanks
Allison


Poor little possum (and poor you!) she has no idea when her leg will be better/ when she will be able to walk/run etc again ; it would have been a trauma to have the medical treatment
and she is also coping with a baby who is becoming much more interesting than a newborn. Please try and be very gentle and patient - lying with her until she is asleep, using some gentle music ( check out Music for dreaming, its  magic - I have it on my website)and leave the music on all night - re sleep its always  best to consider 'what is waking the child' ? then work with that eg pain, itchy in her plaster if it gets hot, , can you spend time lying on the big bed reading to her, drawing, and helping her get some rest while you also feed the baby. Also get as much practical help as you can. heres a link to info on tantrums - also check out my book Toddler Tactics  http://www.pinkymckay.com/toddler/toddler-...taming-tantrums



#15 ollies-mum

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:11 PM

Hi pinky

We have just discovered at 4.5 mths my son is tongue tied, which explains all the feeding dramas we have had along the way.
His new teeth cause lots of damage to my nipples due to milking the nipple with his lower gum. We went to see a surgeon and she told me not worth doing anything about due to general aneasthetic required, and to just wean him as he has had enough breastmilk by now!
Im so sad about this but i think i have no other options. Do you agree?
Have been expressing round the clock with 2 breastfeeds in 24hrs only. The expressing is so time consuming and i need to top up with formula.
Thanks


Edited by ollies-mum, 20 November 2012 - 07:12 PM.


#16 polly1984

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:11 PM

Are you able to offer some suggestion on helping by 28 month old son. He weaned fully about 5 months ago ( about 6 weeks before ds2 was born) over the last two weeks he has been trying to feed again but he has forgotten how to suck at the breast and gets really upset. Overall he is very emotional at the moment more than normal.


The other problem were having with him is he will not sleep in his own room and comes to my bed at about 10 every night. He falls asleep on me at night and I put him in his bed then. If I try to get him to go to sleep in his own bed it takes hours and as soon as I leave the room he wakes up no matter how long I leave it before leaving the room.

Thanks for any suggestions you have.

#17 naomi.g

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:14 PM

Hi Pinky,
My little boy is 13 months old and has only been co sleeping with me for about 4 months.

It all started when we moved his cot into his own room. Now he wont even go near the cot. We have moved it back into our room again, hoping we can at least get him into his cot with us sitting beside him. But as soon as we place him in the cot he is standing up screaming.
We have also tried putting toys in there for him to just play in there to get use to it, but its like he is scared. If we let him cry - he gets too worked up and vomits. I just cant let him cry.
What else can I do that is not going to get either of us too upset about this.
Thank you!!

#18 Babyluv83

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:15 PM

Hi Pinky,

What ois your take on waking babies for feeds in the early days and weeks?


Thanks original.gif

#19 stephkshaw

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:15 PM

Hi Pinky,    
My 10.5 month old is starting long day care at the end of January next year and I'm worried about how she (and I!) will cope with the transition. She is quite strongly attached to me and went through an intense period of separation anxiety at about 6 months of age. This seems to be slowly reducing in intensity but I'm concerned that starting day care may trigger this again. Do you have any tips on how I can gently introduce her to child care so she finds the transition to be as stress free as possible?
Thanks so much!

#20 seashells

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:15 PM

Hi Pinky

I am currently 21 weeks pregnant with my first baby.  I have a history of anxiety & have previously taken anti-depressants for this condition.  I am no longer taking anti-depressants and I am very well at the moment.  However I do worry about the increased risk of PND given my history.  To protect myself as much as possible I am practising yoga & mindfulness techniques and being aware of the supports I will be able to call on once our baby arrives (I have a very supportive husband, family & friends), but wondering if you have any other suggestions of things I can do to protect myself & reduce the risk of PND.

Thanks very much in advance.

#21 Batmansunderpants

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:15 PM

Hi Pinky,

I have a 2 year old who wakes constantly through the night crying but still seems to be asleep. If we don't go into him he wakes up fully and is difficult to settle.

We don't want to ignore him as he quietness down if we stroke his back or touch him. Please tell me it's just a stage!

Thank you.

#22 liveworkplay

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:15 PM

Hi,

I have a 3.5yr old who still wakes at might. she is a very restless sleeper and routinely cries out, argues and has "tantrums" in her sleep. Any ideas?

Edited by liveworkplay, 20 November 2012 - 07:16 PM.


#23 Pinky McKay

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:16 PM

QUOTE (Miss Kiwi @ 20/11/2012, 06:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi Pinky,
For the last 2 weeks my 9 month old DS wakes hysterical from his afternoon nap. He doesnt want me, doesnt want to play, he doesnt know what he wants. After quite some time he calms and I can start to distract him with play etc but he is a complete grizzle bum for the rest of the afternoon.
Today he wouldnt calm at all and I had to carry and walk around with him. It is horrible!! I dont know whats wrong.

His routine is as follows:

5am - wakes (he has just started doing this as well). If I am lucky he will go back to sleep.
6.30 - was his normal wake up time. Bottle.
7.30 - breakfast
8.30 - 10.00 - Morning Sleep
11am - bottle
12pm - lunch
2.30-4/4.30 - Afternoon Sleep
4.30 - Dinner
5.15 - Bath
6.00 - Bottle
6/6.30 - Bed

Any suggestions as to why he could be doing this? He has just cut his top teeth and I can't see any others looming so I don't think it is teething.

Any tips on getting him out of the 5am wake up would be helpful too (I have tried putting him to bed later but it makes zero difference, he is VERY ready for bed at 6ish.

Thanks very much.


perhaps he is getting more teeth, maybe its a 'wonder week' - check out www.thewonderweeks.com
- as babies reach new stages of development (physical, emotional or neurological) the world feels different to them and they can become quite confused - life isnt all about the routine but how you can enjoy your baby when he is awake - try a cuddle and some gentle distraction - perhaps sitting quietly for a little while or a walk outside while you cuddle and this may help him transition to waking more happily. Could he be waking with a tummy pain? Try some tummy massage x2 daily just to helpa bit with wind. Re waing early - I think you just need to wait this out until he can go to bed a bit later and sleep a bit longer - 12 hours is a decent sleep - maybe you could go to bed earlier a couple of nights aweek?

#24 mysonsmum

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:17 PM

Hello Pinky! For the last month my 9.5 month old is refusing to sleep during the day. He sleeps through the night 7pm-8am but I am lucky to get 1 half hour nap from him during the day, up until recently he was having 2 1.5 hour naps but not any more. He does not show any tired signs at all during the day but I still put him down for a morning & afternoon nap & he just talks & plays for 15mins then screams the house down. He is really full on during the day, he won't keep still or quiet for more than a second he is always going somewhere or doing something & he tires me out big time lol. Any tips on getting a nap or 2 from him?

#25 Suze83

Posted 20 November 2012 - 07:17 PM

Hi, my sixteen month old has been rocked to sleep every night, we never tried controlled crying, but she is still waking for 2-3 hours a night and fights sleep so much that myself and my partner are exhausted. I have pnd and find the situation very difficult. Our paed recommended removing night bottles and dummies but that didn't work. We're at our wits end! I should mention she had severe silent reflux for the first three mnths and is used to being held, but we need her to self settle, and it's not happening at all.

Edited by Suze83, 20 November 2012 - 07:23 PM.





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