Jump to content

Neighbour's garden is out of control
And my DS loves to visit...


  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 hicoco

Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:07 AM

We have truly lovely neighbours.

Their youngest child is friends with my 3 yo DS and frequently plays over here with him. However just recently he has started going to her house as well. Normally I would not have a problem with this as we live in a very small and close-knit neighbourhood. However their garden is COMPLETELY overgrown. Think wandering dew over everything competing with lantana and five foot weeds for a chance to overtake the house, pool, trampoline etc.

They have a dog who they admit is "full of fleas" (I have seen them jumping off the poor thing), plus there is dog poo lying on the only clear path to the house. The grass is waist high on an adult. DS gets allergies lying on plain old Buffalo so I know he is going to come out in hives being in a garden that has not seen a mower or clippers for years.

I will clarify this by saying that I believe there is more going on with the parents than just an unwillingness to garden. I have never been in their house but can see the front verandah and it is piled high with all sorts of stuff (just a narrow path so you can get to the front door.) The same is true of their carport, and anything and everything is just dumped in the garden and is very soon overtaken by the weeds. Perhaps there are hoarding / MH issues - I just don't know, and we are not really close enough to ask.

So how do I go about my son wanting to go over there and play? He has no concept of neat or tidy, just thinks it is fun to play with his friend. Which is great except for the risk of allergies, ticks, snakes, spiders and god knows what else. We have seen a brown snake in the driveway so we know they are in this area.

How do I keep an eye on him without hovering and looking like I am really concerned (which I am)? I could flat out refuse to let them play together but how do I explain that when the parents are around? What can I say to indicate I am concerned about the state of their yard? I continually suggest the kids play in our garden - bushy with lots of areas to run and hide, but still very much under control. But naturally they want to run around the fence and occasionally end up at her place.

For those of you who think I am overreacting I say again - brown snake hiding in the long grass vs 3 year old? Who do you think would win that battle?

#2 hicoco

Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:10 AM

Sorry - should have posted this in WDYT? Can anyone advise me how to move it? Thanks.

#3 Flaxen

Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:15 AM

Snakes next door just as easily means snakes in your backyard, you can just see them coming! That asn they do like to bask on mowed lawns too.
Snakes are attracted to rats and mice, and love piles of things to hide in, so I would speak to neighbours about the yard and your valid concerns, and offer, sincerely, to help clean it up.

Should that not work, at last resort I would contact council to request they do something, as snakes are not somthing you want to encourage in your neighbourhood.

Edited by Flaxen, 19 November 2012 - 10:19 AM.


#4 hicoco

Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:26 AM

Thanks Flaxen, you are right of course that the snake/s can just as easily be in my garden too but as you note we would definitely see them lolling about a bit more because we have cut grass, clear paths free of weeds on either side etc. But in their garden you could quite easily lose a small-medium sized child in the weeds, letalone miss a snake or some delightful paralysis ticks.

#5 Natttmumm

Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:35 AM

I just wouldnt allow a 3 year old to go with out me present to anyone house unless I knew them so well I was happy for them to babysit.

We have neighbours who have a little girl and they invited DD1 (age 5) and DD2(age 3) over to play when we first moved in (i had only met them once for 5 minutes). The first time I went over too but got the feeling the mother didnt really want me hanging around - she was happy to let the kids just play. The next time she rang to see if the girls could come to play i decided to be honest and up front with her. I said thanks for the offer but I wasnt comfortable with leaving DD2 as she is only 3 and still very little. I said I was happy for her DD to come over if she wanted to. Her DD came over and she hasnt asked us over again.

To me 3 is too young for playdates without the parents.

#6 (feral)epg

Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:36 AM

I think any snakes are likely to stay well clear of 3 year olds! I'd be more concerned about any refuse - particularly any rusted metal objects, or unstable piles of junk that the kids could pull down onto themselves.  And a disused pool - is it fenced?  Empty?
It's a difficult one, because an overgrown garden can be an absolute paradise for kids if there aren't any significant dangers.


#7 MissButtercup

Posted 19 November 2012 - 11:57 AM

I would discretely call your local council and ask for them to issue a clean up order if there is a risk of snakes etc.. as they could quite easily move to your yard too. Sounds like it maybe a fire hazard as well...

#8 Therese

Posted 19 November 2012 - 12:01 PM

I have moved this to WDYT for you original.gif


#9 Avidlearner1

Posted 19 November 2012 - 12:06 PM

If he suffers from allergies from grass, then simply explain this as a reason he is unable to play in their garden. And explain your concern about his reaction to the fleas and his tendency to break out in hives.

Any reasonable person, would understand this. They can then choose to do something about it, or simply accept their child can only play with your son at your house.


#10 EssentialBludger

Posted 19 November 2012 - 12:45 PM

I wouldn't let my 3yo go on playdates without me anyway, unless it was someone I knew and trusted. At 3, it's babysitting IMO. They need supervision and can't just go and play like older kids.
					
					

Edited by EssentialBludger, 19 November 2012 - 12:46 PM.


#11 JustBeige

Posted 19 November 2012 - 01:35 PM

I would just be saying to my child, "sorry but you cant go over there and play as you will get sick because of the long grass, how about he/she comes here to play".

That way you arent having a go at them AND you are protecting your own child.

If the parents say anything, just tell them honestly that he has grass allergies and its healthier if he doesnt come into contact tall grasses at the moment.


fwiw - there is no way I would be sending my 3yr old over to a place where I didnt know the parent well enough to know if they would supervise adequately or not.

#12 Ice Queen

Posted 19 November 2012 - 01:47 PM

I wouldnt let my kids play at a house like that.  So dont feel bad about your instinct.  At the end of the day OP, you need to trust your feelings about things and if you are unsure dont do it.

I was recently living interstate and knew noone.  We lived in a small street and I had seen a van with a mum and small kids across the road a few times.  One day they knocked on the door and invited DD over for a play as their DD was the same age and really wanted a 'street friend'!  I was a bit taken aback but said yeah sure but wandered over, kind of stuck my head in, chatted to the mum for 10minutes while the girls played.  Anyway it was enough.....I knew my DD was going to be great!  They were lovely people, normal home (not freaky tidy but not dirty), nice kids kinda naughty but normal.....you get what I mean.  I had a good feeling.  I left her for an hour, came back got her and then next time I had her DD etc etc.  it was great but we were 2 mums with very similar parenting, DD's with similar interests, I knew the mum was always supervising etc.  i would never have done it if it didnt feel right.  Sometimes you have to trust your judgement.

#13 luke's mummu

Posted 20 November 2012 - 09:51 PM

I would be phoning the council and asking them for advice re a clean-up order. Our vacant next door neighbour's house was being auctioned recently with dead birds in the swimming pool! I rang the council and a health inspector came around and had a look over our fence and called the real estate agent and that same day a boy came around and fished out the dead birds. I hope they paid him well......

Edited by luke's mummu, 20 November 2012 - 09:52 PM.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wondersuit heaven: Bonds & Disney launch exclusive collection

Bonds and Disney fans with babies to buy for will be celebrating this news. Bonds and Disney have just released collaboration Wondersuits.

Perth hospital mistakes cancerous tumour for "behavioural issues"

When Naomi Holly, a mother of three, noticed her eight-month-old daughter Nora, was having difficulty crawling and standing up as normal, she knew there was something wrong.

Piano playing dad soothes son to sleep in moments

There's nothing more frustrating, or distressing to a parent than a sick child who can't  - or won't got to sleep. 

Lucky escape for mum and bub after snake found in couch

Perth mother Laurie Rushton Dyble was sitting on a recliner chair in her home holding her six-month-old son when her husband suddenly told her to get up and leave the room.

When your partner misses the birth

While no one wants their partner to miss their baby’s birth, it can happen. Here’s what to do if you find yourself in that situation.

Motherhood challenge: smug or just a bit of fun?

The #motherhoodchallenge sounds harmless, doesn't it? Some women disagree.

Who's the mum? Family photo goes viral

Last year, it was "The Dress". This year, it is a family photo that is breaking the internet.

5 easy meditation practices for beginners

So who's with me? You know meditating is one of the best things you can possibly do for yourself.

Woman to go on trial for being a bad housewife

An Italian woman could face up to six years in jail after her husband accused her of not doing enough cooking and cleaning at home.

Is the latest advice on women and drinking over the top?

While most expectant mums know to stop drinking when they’re pregnant, experts now warn women should stop drinking earlier than that. Is this necessary?

How household chores can double as a workout

If there's less than a slim chance you'll find time to get out for a jog or to hit the gym today, take heart in knowing that household chores contribute to the calorie equation.

I have no idea what I'm doing - and that's okay

Why don't we talk about the fact that when everything goes right, we may still feel completely lost, and certain that we have failed?

Dad warns of hair tourniquet danger after baby almost loses toe

A shocked father has shared his family's experience in a bid to warn other parents about the dangers of hair becoming entangled around a baby's toe.

Town welcomes first baby in 28 years

Since the 1980s, the Italian town of Ostana had not seen the birth of a single baby.

How to start teaching your kids road safety

It's something that can be taught as early as possible and reinforced as they get older and more mobile - even from toddlerhood.

Just announced: Bugaboo Cameleon³ Classic+ Collection update

Meet the brand new understated chic model from Bugaboo.

The emotional moment a mum hears her late son's heartbeat

It's been two and a half years since Heather Clark's seven-month-old son Lukas passed away.

Nine reasons why you have 'brain fog'

One minute your productivity is skyrocketing and the next you're sitting there trying to focus – just like that you draw blank, your brain, mush.

I had a caesarean and it was beautiful

Guess what? Despite not pushing him out, I cried, and my heart skipped, and I felt the rush of love and pride when I saw him for the first time.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Penny Wong

'The most hurtful argument in the marriage equality debate'

Labor frontbencher Penny Wong is used to to hearing arguments against same-sex marriage. But for Australia's most prominent gay politician, one hurts more than others.

Does exercise have to be fun to work?

Some things in life are inherently served with a big scoop of fun: balloons, bubbles, cupcakes to name but a few, but exercise?

Hair dye gives woman second-degree burns

She wanted a fresh colour for 2016, but instead she got chemical burns.

Kelly Slater saves mum and toddler from 'freak wave'

A Perth family has thanked US surfing "legend" Kelly Slater after the star saved a mother and a young toddler from "a freak wave" in Hawaii.

Apple recalls millions of power adapters

Tech giant instigates massive international recall of power point adapters due to risk of electric shock.

Toddler's adorable alphabet goes viral

It's impossible not to share this little boy's excitement  about the alphabet.

Tot's nighttime waking saves family's life

Like all tired parents, Monique and Kyle Ruppel were looking forward to the day their 15-month-old daughter Celia would start sleeping through the night. 

Australian mum gives birth to quintuplets

An Australian mum who has shared the ups and downs of carrying quintuplets has welcomed her five babies into the world.

Dad of four girls faints at gender reveal for fifth baby

It was all too much excitement for this dad.

The simple way you can help your baby's language development

The way parents respond to their child's babbling can shape how their infants communicate.

Zika virus is 'spreading explosively': WHO

The World Health Organization announced that it will convene an emergency meeting about Zika.

National database recommended for child protection cases

Baby Ebony was repeatedly failed by the agencies tasked with her protection before her horrific death at the hands of her father, South Australia's deputy coroner says.

Hospitals put babies at risk by ignoring policy on elective caesareans

Thirty-eight weeks or 39? Non-medical factors are pushing women to have elective caesareans earlier than official guidelines - and hospitals are playing along.

Police help deliver baby on busy roadside

Two police officers delivered more than a traffic fine by the side of a busy Melbourne road yesterday.

1D's Louis Tomlinson shares first photo of baby

One Direction's Louis Tomlinson has posted the first picture of his baby boy, Freddie, on social media.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Melbourne!

Get your ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.