Jump to content

Neighbour's garden is out of control
And my DS loves to visit...


  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 hicoco

Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:07 AM

We have truly lovely neighbours.

Their youngest child is friends with my 3 yo DS and frequently plays over here with him. However just recently he has started going to her house as well. Normally I would not have a problem with this as we live in a very small and close-knit neighbourhood. However their garden is COMPLETELY overgrown. Think wandering dew over everything competing with lantana and five foot weeds for a chance to overtake the house, pool, trampoline etc.

They have a dog who they admit is "full of fleas" (I have seen them jumping off the poor thing), plus there is dog poo lying on the only clear path to the house. The grass is waist high on an adult. DS gets allergies lying on plain old Buffalo so I know he is going to come out in hives being in a garden that has not seen a mower or clippers for years.

I will clarify this by saying that I believe there is more going on with the parents than just an unwillingness to garden. I have never been in their house but can see the front verandah and it is piled high with all sorts of stuff (just a narrow path so you can get to the front door.) The same is true of their carport, and anything and everything is just dumped in the garden and is very soon overtaken by the weeds. Perhaps there are hoarding / MH issues - I just don't know, and we are not really close enough to ask.

So how do I go about my son wanting to go over there and play? He has no concept of neat or tidy, just thinks it is fun to play with his friend. Which is great except for the risk of allergies, ticks, snakes, spiders and god knows what else. We have seen a brown snake in the driveway so we know they are in this area.

How do I keep an eye on him without hovering and looking like I am really concerned (which I am)? I could flat out refuse to let them play together but how do I explain that when the parents are around? What can I say to indicate I am concerned about the state of their yard? I continually suggest the kids play in our garden - bushy with lots of areas to run and hide, but still very much under control. But naturally they want to run around the fence and occasionally end up at her place.

For those of you who think I am overreacting I say again - brown snake hiding in the long grass vs 3 year old? Who do you think would win that battle?

#2 hicoco

Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:10 AM

Sorry - should have posted this in WDYT? Can anyone advise me how to move it? Thanks.

#3 Flaxen

Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:15 AM

Snakes next door just as easily means snakes in your backyard, you can just see them coming! That asn they do like to bask on mowed lawns too.
Snakes are attracted to rats and mice, and love piles of things to hide in, so I would speak to neighbours about the yard and your valid concerns, and offer, sincerely, to help clean it up.

Should that not work, at last resort I would contact council to request they do something, as snakes are not somthing you want to encourage in your neighbourhood.

Edited by Flaxen, 19 November 2012 - 10:19 AM.


#4 hicoco

Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:26 AM

Thanks Flaxen, you are right of course that the snake/s can just as easily be in my garden too but as you note we would definitely see them lolling about a bit more because we have cut grass, clear paths free of weeds on either side etc. But in their garden you could quite easily lose a small-medium sized child in the weeds, letalone miss a snake or some delightful paralysis ticks.

#5 Natttmumm

Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:35 AM

I just wouldnt allow a 3 year old to go with out me present to anyone house unless I knew them so well I was happy for them to babysit.

We have neighbours who have a little girl and they invited DD1 (age 5) and DD2(age 3) over to play when we first moved in (i had only met them once for 5 minutes). The first time I went over too but got the feeling the mother didnt really want me hanging around - she was happy to let the kids just play. The next time she rang to see if the girls could come to play i decided to be honest and up front with her. I said thanks for the offer but I wasnt comfortable with leaving DD2 as she is only 3 and still very little. I said I was happy for her DD to come over if she wanted to. Her DD came over and she hasnt asked us over again.

To me 3 is too young for playdates without the parents.

#6 (feral)epg

Posted 19 November 2012 - 10:36 AM

I think any snakes are likely to stay well clear of 3 year olds! I'd be more concerned about any refuse - particularly any rusted metal objects, or unstable piles of junk that the kids could pull down onto themselves.  And a disused pool - is it fenced?  Empty?
It's a difficult one, because an overgrown garden can be an absolute paradise for kids if there aren't any significant dangers.


#7 MissButtercup

Posted 19 November 2012 - 11:57 AM

I would discretely call your local council and ask for them to issue a clean up order if there is a risk of snakes etc.. as they could quite easily move to your yard too. Sounds like it maybe a fire hazard as well...

#8 Therese

Posted 19 November 2012 - 12:01 PM

I have moved this to WDYT for you original.gif


#9 Avidlearner1

Posted 19 November 2012 - 12:06 PM

If he suffers from allergies from grass, then simply explain this as a reason he is unable to play in their garden. And explain your concern about his reaction to the fleas and his tendency to break out in hives.

Any reasonable person, would understand this. They can then choose to do something about it, or simply accept their child can only play with your son at your house.


#10 EssentialBludger

Posted 19 November 2012 - 12:45 PM

I wouldn't let my 3yo go on playdates without me anyway, unless it was someone I knew and trusted. At 3, it's babysitting IMO. They need supervision and can't just go and play like older kids.
					
					

Edited by EssentialBludger, 19 November 2012 - 12:46 PM.


#11 JustBeige

Posted 19 November 2012 - 01:35 PM

I would just be saying to my child, "sorry but you cant go over there and play as you will get sick because of the long grass, how about he/she comes here to play".

That way you arent having a go at them AND you are protecting your own child.

If the parents say anything, just tell them honestly that he has grass allergies and its healthier if he doesnt come into contact tall grasses at the moment.


fwiw - there is no way I would be sending my 3yr old over to a place where I didnt know the parent well enough to know if they would supervise adequately or not.

#12 Ice Queen

Posted 19 November 2012 - 01:47 PM

I wouldnt let my kids play at a house like that.  So dont feel bad about your instinct.  At the end of the day OP, you need to trust your feelings about things and if you are unsure dont do it.

I was recently living interstate and knew noone.  We lived in a small street and I had seen a van with a mum and small kids across the road a few times.  One day they knocked on the door and invited DD over for a play as their DD was the same age and really wanted a 'street friend'!  I was a bit taken aback but said yeah sure but wandered over, kind of stuck my head in, chatted to the mum for 10minutes while the girls played.  Anyway it was enough.....I knew my DD was going to be great!  They were lovely people, normal home (not freaky tidy but not dirty), nice kids kinda naughty but normal.....you get what I mean.  I had a good feeling.  I left her for an hour, came back got her and then next time I had her DD etc etc.  it was great but we were 2 mums with very similar parenting, DD's with similar interests, I knew the mum was always supervising etc.  i would never have done it if it didnt feel right.  Sometimes you have to trust your judgement.

#13 luke's mummu

Posted 20 November 2012 - 09:51 PM

I would be phoning the council and asking them for advice re a clean-up order. Our vacant next door neighbour's house was being auctioned recently with dead birds in the swimming pool! I rang the council and a health inspector came around and had a look over our fence and called the real estate agent and that same day a boy came around and fished out the dead birds. I hope they paid him well......

Edited by luke's mummu, 20 November 2012 - 09:52 PM.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Finding baby name inspiration in unusual places

Sometimes the greatest baby name ideas come from the most unexpected places, as these EB members show.

The case for inducing at 37 weeks

While we often think of pregnancy as a 40 week affair, experts agree that 37 weeks is actually “full term". So is there an argument for inducing all births at 37 weeks?

Does controlled crying really work?

Controlled-crying techniques may help some babies sleep through the night, but for many exhausted new parents, it's just a recipe for more tears all round.

How I taught my infant to use a toilet

As people become more aware of these benefits, I hope more parents will practice this method, so we can cut down on nappies and improve baby bonding.

'I thought it was impossible': Emily Symons pregnant at 45

Aussie actress Emily Symons has announced she is pregnant with her first baby.

Shallow water blackout kills fit, healthy dad

A little girl will grow up without her father after the fit and healthy 34-year-old passed away while doing something he had practised his whole life.

Afternoon naps may be bad for toddlers' sleep

You could be doing yourself a disservice by encouraging your toddler to have an afternoon nap, according to new research.

Best gifts for newborns, new mums and christenings

We've compiled a guide to some of the most popular presents for newborns and new mums, and for christenings and naming days.

Jaime King to be a mum again

Actress Jaime King is pregnant with her second child, giving 16-month-old James a sibling.

Nannies should receive government funding

The Abbott government should extend funding to nannies, and direct childcare payments to low and middle income families, a landmark study on childcare has found. 

Common skin irritations in newborns (and how to treat them)

As many as one in two newborn babies suffer from skin irritations in their first few weeks. So what are the most common rashes and irritations to look out for?

10 wall decals for the nursery or playroom

Wall decals are the answer to creating a beautiful nursery or children's space without lifting a paint brush, a spirit level or even a hammer.

Preschooler walks 2.4km home alone

Three-year-old Cain Trainor headed off home after his first day at a new preschool without telling anyone.

Video: Why mums get nothing done

In spite of being in an almost constant state of motion while looking after the kids and trying to keep things together at home, it can seem as though parents have managed to get nothing on the to-do list done by the end of the day.

The middle name game

The middle name is no longer an afterthought, and parents' inspiration comes from many places.

Have a baby or your money back - but there's a catch

A new IVF scheme offers couples the chance to fall pregnant and give birth - or get their money back. But there's more to it than you might think.

A rare glimpse inside the womb

A baby born still inside the amniotic sac gave US doctors a rare glimpse at life inside the womb.

Battered mum forced to write to her attacker ex in jail

Three years ago Jason Hughes viciously attacked his ex-partner. Now she has to write to him three times a year.

Woman pleads not guilty to ultrasound scam

A West Australian woman will fight allegations that she scammed expectant mums by selling them fake ultrasound pictures of babies.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Brain damaged mum receives compensation

A Sydney mother who suffered brain damage when she was hit by a car while pushing her newborn baby in a pram has reached a confidential out-of-court settlement with the driver's insurance company.

Indigenous midwives break down the barriers

A culturally sensitive midwifery service has gained the trust and respect of Aboriginal women.

The Katering Show's next big delivery

Most mums-to-be plan to take things easy and perhaps have a little break from work as the birth of their baby draws near. Not Kate McCartney.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

Why I have mixed feelings about Cindy Crawford's leaked photo

Last week an un-retouched photo of model Cindy Crawford surfaced, showing the 48-year-old mother-of -two posing in underwear.

How to create a Peppa Pig pancake

Thought your toddler could not love pancakes any more than they already do? How about if the breakfast treat came in the shape of every two-year-old's favourite cartoon character?

'It's a little life, not a little loss': pregnancy after miscarriage

I thought I was never going to be able to have a successful pregnancy. I decided that I wasn't going to form an emotional attachment with this baby.

Bonds Baby Search 2015: what you need to know

February 18 marks the start of one of the most prolific annual baby competitions in Australia: the Bonds Baby Search. And this year is going to be more special than ever.

Who will manage your Facebook account when you're gone?

This is not something that people like to talk about, but Facebook has announced that it will grant users more control over what happens to their pages after they die.

Struggling mum of four wins $188 million

Mother of four Marie Holmes was financially struggling after quitting her jobs at Walmart and McDonald's in order to care for her children.

Pregnant obese women a 'relatively new problem', coroner hears

A first-time mother whose daughter died hours after her frightening birth insists she was never told of the risks of being obese and pregnant.

'I'm angry as hell': the story behind mum's passionate vaccination plea

She has labelled parents who do not vaccinate their children "misinformed imbeciles" - and for that, she makes no apologies.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

8 different kinds of tantrums

I never thought I’d say this, but for a brief moment last week, Kim Kardashian and I had something in common: both our kids had public tantrums.

Polycystic ovary syndrome: symptoms, treatment and your fertility

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female hormonal condition, affecting roughly one in 12 Australian women.

What's the best position for giving birth?

If doing it on your back is out, what's the best position for labour and birth?

Wife forgives snake catcher husband for car surprise

With Valentine's Day coming up, Nat Gilbert could be forgiven for thinking her husband might be planning a surprise for her.

Kids who meet milestones at their own pace

We usually only hear the success stories: tales of the two-year-old who’s talking, running and completely toilet trained. But other stories need to be told too.

Ruby shines as Bonds Baby

Sarah Kiss has a word of advice for proud mums and dads who are keen to enter their babies in this year's Bonds Baby Search Competition - just have fun.

Why dads should go to sleep school

If your family needs to go to sleep school, go with them. You are part of that family and you are part of the solution.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Win a KitchenAid Mixer

Let's celebrate 300,000 fans on Facebook

To celebrate, and to thank our amazing fans, we?re giving away a KitchenAid Artisan Tilt-Head Stand Mixer.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.