Jump to content

3.5yr and still not TT

  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 packysmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:34 AM

We have been trying to TT our 3.5yr old DS. He is very stubborn and doesn't care that he wets and poos his undies. I have tried reward chart, lollies, special toy if he does so many weeks in toilet, but nothing is working. I stayed home 4 days in a row last week just to try again. I put him on toilet every half hour and he doesn't do anything, then. 10 min later he's wee'd all over floor! I asked him why he does it in his pants, he said because he likes it! I'm trying to be patient but its hard when he doesn't even really want to get outta nappies! He starts preschool next year so he has to be out of nappies, also hes getting too big for nappies and the nappy isnt holding his poos either! Any ideas or suggestions?

#2 MaeGlyn

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:44 AM

My friend's daycare provider said she starts toilet training between 3.5 years and 4 years. Toilet training can take 6 months she said.

If it were me, I would put him back in nappies as he doesn't sound ready yet.TT about learning to hang on  rather than go to the toilet. He still has some room to move with the time, maybe another month wait would help?

Also I've been told it may be a good idea to give my son a toy or book that he just uses on the toilet.

Edited by MaeGlyn, 19 November 2012 - 08:44 AM.

#3 *Finn*

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:51 AM

Its so different for every child. My DS picked it up at 2.6 with hardly any trouble. My best friends little boy had no clue at all at 3.6. He honestly could not comprehend the whole concept. At 3.9 his mum and teachers at school decided to go cold turkey. He was using pull ups before this time but he treated it just like a nappy. Anyway they put him in undies only and nappy for sleep time and it probably took 2-3 weeks before he started to get the hang of it. He's doing pretty well now, still has a few accidents but hopefully before kindy starts next year he will improve again.

#4 liveworkplay

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:54 AM

When they are ready to tt they will do it. I would personally not be playing a battle of wits with a 3'5 yr old, it's just not worth it. In you situation I would explain that when he goes to school everyone will use a toilet like a big boy and if he doesn't by then then others may find it a little strange. Then leave him to.it and don't make a fuss. I'll hazard a guess by summer he will pop himself off to the toilet just to prove he is a big boy and can.

Toilet training can take 6 months she said.

In a NT child, tt should only take a matter if days. If it takes months they are not ready. IME if they are ready it takes a day or two. It did with each of my 3.

#5 SeaPrincess

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:58 AM

How old we're your other children when they TT? How did you TT them? Is there anything you did differently?

At 3.5, and with only a few months before school starts, I would  stop with the nappies apart from bedtime.  Half an hour between potty breaks may be too short - I did timed breaks with one of mine and within a couple of hours, he just refused to go.  He only went about every 1.5 hours in the mornings, a bit more frequently in the afternoons or if he was tired. I agree with pp - it shouldn't take 6 months with a child who is ready, whether they are 3.5 or 2 or even younger.

When DS1 was starting school, there was one little girl in nappies at the orientation in October.  She wasn't in nappies when they started school and I don't believe she ever had an accident at school, so don't give up!

Edited by shmach, 19 November 2012 - 09:00 AM.

#6 packysmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 09:07 AM

How old we're your other children when they TT? How did you TT them? Is there anything you did differently?

My other 2 boys were wee trained by 2.5 and poo trained by 3. Not doing it any differently, just that DS3 is a different personality than my other 2!
I haven't been using nappies or pull up during day,unless I have to go out. He actually just told me then that he needed to do a wee, so I sat him on toilet but he didn't do anything...praised him for trying though.
Persistence is the key I guess!

#7 packysmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 09:52 AM

Quick update....1 wee in toilet!  biggrin.gif

#8 sophiasmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 11:43 AM

I feel the only thing stopping him from being TT is you haven't found his currency yet. And you have to get tough. At that age I would not be putting back in nappies, except for sleep & maybe pullups if you go out & you are afraid of accidents.

My DD2 wasn't interested in star charts or lollies or chocolates as rewards,. Quite by accident I found she responded well to the promise of lip gloss on her lips after she successfully did a wee on the toilet. This was after many accidents on the floor, which stopped once I discovered her currency of choice.

#9 SeaPrincess

Posted 19 November 2012 - 04:12 PM

QUOTE (sophiasmum @ 19/11/2012, 09:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I feel the only thing stopping him from being TT is you haven't found his currency yet.

This is so true! I tried so many things with DS2, who initiated PT when he demanded the potty to do a poo. He was great when we were out, but lazy about wee at home. Jelly beans worked for him.


#10 FeralCrazyMum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 04:20 PM

QUOTE (liveworkplay @ 19/11/2012, 09:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When they are ready to tt they will do it. I would personally not be playing a battle of wits with a 3'5 yr old, it's just not worth it. In you situation I would explain that when he goes to school everyone will use a toilet like a big boy and if he doesn't by then then others may find it a little strange. Then leave him to.it and don't make a fuss. I'll hazard a guess by summer he will pop himself off to the toilet just to prove he is a big boy and can.

In a NT child, tt should only take a matter if days. If it takes months they are not ready. IME if they are ready it takes a day or two. It did with each of my 3.

Yep. DS trained at just on 3yo ... we tried a month or so before then but no luck. The difference a month or so can make in that age group is amazing. It should only take them a day or two of being in undies to get the associations happening if they're ready.

#11 packysmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 04:43 PM

Update....in undies all day, not one accident, 4 wees in toilet, just waiting for the poo to arrive!   ph34r.gif

#12 fran123

Posted 19 November 2012 - 04:49 PM

First of all whatever you do, do not get mad. It does not help the situation and just remember you're child is learning something new and is probably struggling with it. My 6 yr old still wees in his pants a bit. Not a lot but enough to smell at the end of a school day.  I suggest forgetting about it for a while and trying again with a new approach.  You can also make an appointment with a nurse ( I went to an incontinece clinic). I found that my son seemed to get it and try a bit harder after speaking with a nurse. It puts a bit of officiality into the training.  Good luck.

#13 Simply Me

Posted 21 November 2012 - 12:34 PM

Hang in there op.  My ds didn't want to know either, had no interest.  I was taking him every half hour, building it up to every hour, every hour and a half and eventually every two hours.  
A few times he had accidents and every time he would say his undies weren't doing a good job (pointed out that undies did a different job to pull ups).  
Ds turned 4 and something just clicked.  Touch wood so far since July he hasn't had an accident, even when we are out.  At home he quite happily goes when ever he needs to.  When we are out,  I always make a point of making him go before we leave the house and after 2 to 3 hours I just find a toilet and take him.
I was like you, worried, but now on reflection....it was all unnecessary.
Good luck with it all

#14 Chelara

Posted 21 November 2012 - 12:41 PM

Good luck! Dd resisted and resisted every attempt I made at TTing her before she was 3. At about 3.25 over the long weekend with DH on board we said bye bye to nappies, to,d her straight up this is it, no more nappies (switched to pull ups at night) we made sure we went out, shopping, out to lunch etc and although she would wee herself at home she really didn't want to when we were out. She was still having a few accidents and resisting a little until she talked with her friends about using the toilet (we were telling her xx uses the toilet and xx doesn't wear nappies). After that she night trained too.

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


How a raisin can predict a toddler's IQ

All you need to assess a child's future intelligence is a plastic cup and a raisin, according to new research.

Kate Walsh: 'I can't have kids'

Grey's Anatomy star Kate Walsh has revealed she is unable to have children because she has experienced early menopause.

The parasite that could boost fertility

The Tsimane women of Bolivia are often revered as among the most fertile in the world - on average having 10 children in their lifetimes -- but some are even more fertile than others.

Family may sue cousin over genetics

A Melbourne couple is suing the Royal Children's Hospital for failing to diagnose a genetic disorder in their first child - an error they allege caused them to have another child with severe disabilities.

Strange things mums have done in labour

While most women in labour focus on the upcoming birth of their baby, some women do more interesting things.

Michael Clarke reveals baby's name

When Michael Clarke said he was wrapped around the finger of his little princess, he wasn't joking.

The logistics of breastfeeding twins

Our life is more or less divided into neat four hour parcels of time and it's hard to get much of anything done in the time between feeds.

How to stop people ruining Christmas

We can make a conscious effort about how we react to those curly Christmas day scenarios that can send us up the wall, or should we say chimney.

Lots of formula offers for desperate mum

The mum who was down to her last three tins of baby formula said she had received hundreds of calls and offers to send her formula.

Surviving breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Cot sheet brands for the nursery

With so many awesome cot sheet options these days, we thought we'd put together a list of go-to brands for you to seek out for your baby's bed.

The Bugaboo by Diesel Denim launch

Essential Baby attended the launch and it got messy!

Father's letter to Bataclan terrorists

A grieving father whose wife was killed in the attacks on the Bataclan Theatre last weekend has written an open letter to her killers.

Adele's new song to sing along to

Singer follows up success of Hello with new belting ballad When We Were Young.

Major retailers restrict formula sales

Coles and Woolworths have imposed tighter buying bans on baby formula amid a shortage blamed on Chinese consumers.

Three-year-old breaks family's news

If you are three-years-old and an only child, then news doesn't get much bigger than this.

Swapped babies stay with families

A boy and girl accidentally swapped on the day they were born will stay with the families who have raised them, a South African court has ruled.

How life is different with three kids

I knew having a third child would alter our lives, but it's had so many impacts - both tiny and enormous.


What's hot on EB

Win one of two ABC Shop prize packs in time for Christmas

What a boon it would be to have your toddler's Christmas gifts covered this year. We have two awesome ABC Shop prize packs to give away to two lucky winners.

Beautiful 'now and then' images of premature babies

They are stunning photos that the parents of these beautiful no doubt feared they may never see.

Physios warn pregnant women not to crunch like Michelle Bridges

Experts are urging pregnant women not to do exactly as Michelle Bridges does when exercising, or they risk developing rectus abdominus diastasis.

Penny-pinching supermarket shoppers switching in droves

Half of Australia thinks it can get cheaper groceries by switching supermarkets, and about one in four of us have already switched.

Baby breastfed by wrong mother after hospital mix up

A newborn baby has been breastfed by a stranger after a NSW hospital bungled the identities of two newborns, devastating one mother and potentially exposing the newborn to health risks.

Nurses invent skin to skin c-section drape

The determination of three US nurses to provide immediate skin to skin contact to mothers delivering their babies by caesarean section has led to the invention of a unique surgical drape.

Baby's first photo shoot features a special guest

You can always be sure of a few things not entirely going to plan during a newborn shoot – little accidents are almost par for the course – but this shoot was memorable for a whole other reason.

We are not the family you think we are, I promise

Kids have a way of presenting a completely inaccurate impression of you, as parents, and as a family.

The hidden harm of foetal alcohol syndrome disorder

Experts believe many children diagnosed with ADHD might actually have FASD and that the number of people suffering from the condition across the country could be as high as 500,000.

Anaesthetist facing charges after ignoring woman's pain during caesarean

An anaesthetist could be punished after telling a woman enduring an "excruciating" painful C-section that she was not actually in pain.

When your baby starts life in NICU

Our daughters are finally home after spending nearly four weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at Wellington hospital.

How to save for a deposit while renting

As hard as it sounds, it is possible to save money when you rent, and certain things can be done to build a deposit faster.

Medications pregnant women should take, avoid, and think about

There are actually very few medications that must be absolutely avoided during pregnancy.

Paid parental leave uncertainty a growing concern

Eight months out from the due date of the government's PPL cut, some expectant parents are facing an uncertain time.

7 commandments of using the internet as a parent

What you need is careful, objective and repeatable science. Not anecdotes or old wives' tales, but data.

A rethink on screen ban for kids under two

With new guidelines being developed, the discouragement of use below two years of age is being revised.

10 things I want my wife to know

It's on those crazy days that I must remember to stop and let her know some things she needs to hear.

Better education about SIDS needed as deaths plateau

The number of sudden and unexpected deaths in infancy has decreased in NSW for the past 15 years but the most recent report into child deaths reveals the decline has plateaued.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.