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3.5yr and still not TT

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#1 packysmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:34 AM

We have been trying to TT our 3.5yr old DS. He is very stubborn and doesn't care that he wets and poos his undies. I have tried reward chart, lollies, special toy if he does so many weeks in toilet, but nothing is working. I stayed home 4 days in a row last week just to try again. I put him on toilet every half hour and he doesn't do anything, then. 10 min later he's wee'd all over floor! I asked him why he does it in his pants, he said because he likes it! I'm trying to be patient but its hard when he doesn't even really want to get outta nappies! He starts preschool next year so he has to be out of nappies, also hes getting too big for nappies and the nappy isnt holding his poos either! Any ideas or suggestions?

#2 MaeGlyn

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:44 AM

My friend's daycare provider said she starts toilet training between 3.5 years and 4 years. Toilet training can take 6 months she said.

If it were me, I would put him back in nappies as he doesn't sound ready yet.TT about learning to hang on  rather than go to the toilet. He still has some room to move with the time, maybe another month wait would help?

Also I've been told it may be a good idea to give my son a toy or book that he just uses on the toilet.

Edited by MaeGlyn, 19 November 2012 - 08:44 AM.

#3 *Finn*

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:51 AM

Its so different for every child. My DS picked it up at 2.6 with hardly any trouble. My best friends little boy had no clue at all at 3.6. He honestly could not comprehend the whole concept. At 3.9 his mum and teachers at school decided to go cold turkey. He was using pull ups before this time but he treated it just like a nappy. Anyway they put him in undies only and nappy for sleep time and it probably took 2-3 weeks before he started to get the hang of it. He's doing pretty well now, still has a few accidents but hopefully before kindy starts next year he will improve again.

#4 liveworkplay

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:54 AM

When they are ready to tt they will do it. I would personally not be playing a battle of wits with a 3'5 yr old, it's just not worth it. In you situation I would explain that when he goes to school everyone will use a toilet like a big boy and if he doesn't by then then others may find it a little strange. Then leave him to.it and don't make a fuss. I'll hazard a guess by summer he will pop himself off to the toilet just to prove he is a big boy and can.

Toilet training can take 6 months she said.

In a NT child, tt should only take a matter if days. If it takes months they are not ready. IME if they are ready it takes a day or two. It did with each of my 3.

#5 SeaPrincess

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:58 AM

How old we're your other children when they TT? How did you TT them? Is there anything you did differently?

At 3.5, and with only a few months before school starts, I would  stop with the nappies apart from bedtime.  Half an hour between potty breaks may be too short - I did timed breaks with one of mine and within a couple of hours, he just refused to go.  He only went about every 1.5 hours in the mornings, a bit more frequently in the afternoons or if he was tired. I agree with pp - it shouldn't take 6 months with a child who is ready, whether they are 3.5 or 2 or even younger.

When DS1 was starting school, there was one little girl in nappies at the orientation in October.  She wasn't in nappies when they started school and I don't believe she ever had an accident at school, so don't give up!

Edited by shmach, 19 November 2012 - 09:00 AM.

#6 packysmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 09:07 AM

How old we're your other children when they TT? How did you TT them? Is there anything you did differently?

My other 2 boys were wee trained by 2.5 and poo trained by 3. Not doing it any differently, just that DS3 is a different personality than my other 2!
I haven't been using nappies or pull up during day,unless I have to go out. He actually just told me then that he needed to do a wee, so I sat him on toilet but he didn't do anything...praised him for trying though.
Persistence is the key I guess!

#7 packysmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 09:52 AM

Quick update....1 wee in toilet!  biggrin.gif

#8 sophiasmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 11:43 AM

I feel the only thing stopping him from being TT is you haven't found his currency yet. And you have to get tough. At that age I would not be putting back in nappies, except for sleep & maybe pullups if you go out & you are afraid of accidents.

My DD2 wasn't interested in star charts or lollies or chocolates as rewards,. Quite by accident I found she responded well to the promise of lip gloss on her lips after she successfully did a wee on the toilet. This was after many accidents on the floor, which stopped once I discovered her currency of choice.

#9 SeaPrincess

Posted 19 November 2012 - 04:12 PM

QUOTE (sophiasmum @ 19/11/2012, 09:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I feel the only thing stopping him from being TT is you haven't found his currency yet.

This is so true! I tried so many things with DS2, who initiated PT when he demanded the potty to do a poo. He was great when we were out, but lazy about wee at home. Jelly beans worked for him.


#10 FeralCrazyMum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 04:20 PM

QUOTE (liveworkplay @ 19/11/2012, 09:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When they are ready to tt they will do it. I would personally not be playing a battle of wits with a 3'5 yr old, it's just not worth it. In you situation I would explain that when he goes to school everyone will use a toilet like a big boy and if he doesn't by then then others may find it a little strange. Then leave him to.it and don't make a fuss. I'll hazard a guess by summer he will pop himself off to the toilet just to prove he is a big boy and can.

In a NT child, tt should only take a matter if days. If it takes months they are not ready. IME if they are ready it takes a day or two. It did with each of my 3.

Yep. DS trained at just on 3yo ... we tried a month or so before then but no luck. The difference a month or so can make in that age group is amazing. It should only take them a day or two of being in undies to get the associations happening if they're ready.

#11 packysmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 04:43 PM

Update....in undies all day, not one accident, 4 wees in toilet, just waiting for the poo to arrive!   ph34r.gif

#12 fran123

Posted 19 November 2012 - 04:49 PM

First of all whatever you do, do not get mad. It does not help the situation and just remember you're child is learning something new and is probably struggling with it. My 6 yr old still wees in his pants a bit. Not a lot but enough to smell at the end of a school day.  I suggest forgetting about it for a while and trying again with a new approach.  You can also make an appointment with a nurse ( I went to an incontinece clinic). I found that my son seemed to get it and try a bit harder after speaking with a nurse. It puts a bit of officiality into the training.  Good luck.

#13 Simply Me

Posted 21 November 2012 - 12:34 PM

Hang in there op.  My ds didn't want to know either, had no interest.  I was taking him every half hour, building it up to every hour, every hour and a half and eventually every two hours.  
A few times he had accidents and every time he would say his undies weren't doing a good job (pointed out that undies did a different job to pull ups).  
Ds turned 4 and something just clicked.  Touch wood so far since July he hasn't had an accident, even when we are out.  At home he quite happily goes when ever he needs to.  When we are out,  I always make a point of making him go before we leave the house and after 2 to 3 hours I just find a toilet and take him.
I was like you, worried, but now on reflection....it was all unnecessary.
Good luck with it all

#14 Chelara

Posted 21 November 2012 - 12:41 PM

Good luck! Dd resisted and resisted every attempt I made at TTing her before she was 3. At about 3.25 over the long weekend with DH on board we said bye bye to nappies, to,d her straight up this is it, no more nappies (switched to pull ups at night) we made sure we went out, shopping, out to lunch etc and although she would wee herself at home she really didn't want to when we were out. She was still having a few accidents and resisting a little until she talked with her friends about using the toilet (we were telling her xx uses the toilet and xx doesn't wear nappies). After that she night trained too.

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