Jump to content

3.5yr and still not TT


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 packysmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:34 AM

We have been trying to TT our 3.5yr old DS. He is very stubborn and doesn't care that he wets and poos his undies. I have tried reward chart, lollies, special toy if he does so many weeks in toilet, but nothing is working. I stayed home 4 days in a row last week just to try again. I put him on toilet every half hour and he doesn't do anything, then. 10 min later he's wee'd all over floor! I asked him why he does it in his pants, he said because he likes it! I'm trying to be patient but its hard when he doesn't even really want to get outta nappies! He starts preschool next year so he has to be out of nappies, also hes getting too big for nappies and the nappy isnt holding his poos either! Any ideas or suggestions?

#2 MaeGlyn

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:44 AM

My friend's daycare provider said she starts toilet training between 3.5 years and 4 years. Toilet training can take 6 months she said.

If it were me, I would put him back in nappies as he doesn't sound ready yet.TT about learning to hang on  rather than go to the toilet. He still has some room to move with the time, maybe another month wait would help?

Also I've been told it may be a good idea to give my son a toy or book that he just uses on the toilet.

Edited by MaeGlyn, 19 November 2012 - 08:44 AM.


#3 *Finn*

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:51 AM

Its so different for every child. My DS picked it up at 2.6 with hardly any trouble. My best friends little boy had no clue at all at 3.6. He honestly could not comprehend the whole concept. At 3.9 his mum and teachers at school decided to go cold turkey. He was using pull ups before this time but he treated it just like a nappy. Anyway they put him in undies only and nappy for sleep time and it probably took 2-3 weeks before he started to get the hang of it. He's doing pretty well now, still has a few accidents but hopefully before kindy starts next year he will improve again.

#4 liveworkplay

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:54 AM

When they are ready to tt they will do it. I would personally not be playing a battle of wits with a 3'5 yr old, it's just not worth it. In you situation I would explain that when he goes to school everyone will use a toilet like a big boy and if he doesn't by then then others may find it a little strange. Then leave him to.it and don't make a fuss. I'll hazard a guess by summer he will pop himself off to the toilet just to prove he is a big boy and can.

QUOTE
Toilet training can take 6 months she said.

In a NT child, tt should only take a matter if days. If it takes months they are not ready. IME if they are ready it takes a day or two. It did with each of my 3.


#5 SeaPrincess

Posted 19 November 2012 - 08:58 AM

How old we're your other children when they TT? How did you TT them? Is there anything you did differently?

At 3.5, and with only a few months before school starts, I would  stop with the nappies apart from bedtime.  Half an hour between potty breaks may be too short - I did timed breaks with one of mine and within a couple of hours, he just refused to go.  He only went about every 1.5 hours in the mornings, a bit more frequently in the afternoons or if he was tired. I agree with pp - it shouldn't take 6 months with a child who is ready, whether they are 3.5 or 2 or even younger.

When DS1 was starting school, there was one little girl in nappies at the orientation in October.  She wasn't in nappies when they started school and I don't believe she ever had an accident at school, so don't give up!

Edited by shmach, 19 November 2012 - 09:00 AM.


#6 packysmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 09:07 AM

QUOTE
How old we're your other children when they TT? How did you TT them? Is there anything you did differently?

My other 2 boys were wee trained by 2.5 and poo trained by 3. Not doing it any differently, just that DS3 is a different personality than my other 2!
I haven't been using nappies or pull up during day,unless I have to go out. He actually just told me then that he needed to do a wee, so I sat him on toilet but he didn't do anything...praised him for trying though.
Persistence is the key I guess!

#7 packysmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 09:52 AM

Quick update....1 wee in toilet!  biggrin.gif

#8 sophiasmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 11:43 AM

I feel the only thing stopping him from being TT is you haven't found his currency yet. And you have to get tough. At that age I would not be putting back in nappies, except for sleep & maybe pullups if you go out & you are afraid of accidents.

My DD2 wasn't interested in star charts or lollies or chocolates as rewards,. Quite by accident I found she responded well to the promise of lip gloss on her lips after she successfully did a wee on the toilet. This was after many accidents on the floor, which stopped once I discovered her currency of choice.

#9 SeaPrincess

Posted 19 November 2012 - 04:12 PM

QUOTE (sophiasmum @ 19/11/2012, 09:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I feel the only thing stopping him from being TT is you haven't found his currency yet.

This is so true! I tried so many things with DS2, who initiated PT when he demanded the potty to do a poo. He was great when we were out, but lazy about wee at home. Jelly beans worked for him.

R

#10 FeralCrazyMum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 04:20 PM

QUOTE (liveworkplay @ 19/11/2012, 09:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When they are ready to tt they will do it. I would personally not be playing a battle of wits with a 3'5 yr old, it's just not worth it. In you situation I would explain that when he goes to school everyone will use a toilet like a big boy and if he doesn't by then then others may find it a little strange. Then leave him to.it and don't make a fuss. I'll hazard a guess by summer he will pop himself off to the toilet just to prove he is a big boy and can.


In a NT child, tt should only take a matter if days. If it takes months they are not ready. IME if they are ready it takes a day or two. It did with each of my 3.


Yep. DS trained at just on 3yo ... we tried a month or so before then but no luck. The difference a month or so can make in that age group is amazing. It should only take them a day or two of being in undies to get the associations happening if they're ready.

#11 packysmum

Posted 19 November 2012 - 04:43 PM

Update....in undies all day, not one accident, 4 wees in toilet, just waiting for the poo to arrive!   ph34r.gif

#12 fran123

Posted 19 November 2012 - 04:49 PM

First of all whatever you do, do not get mad. It does not help the situation and just remember you're child is learning something new and is probably struggling with it. My 6 yr old still wees in his pants a bit. Not a lot but enough to smell at the end of a school day.  I suggest forgetting about it for a while and trying again with a new approach.  You can also make an appointment with a nurse ( I went to an incontinece clinic). I found that my son seemed to get it and try a bit harder after speaking with a nurse. It puts a bit of officiality into the training.  Good luck.

#13 Simply Me

Posted 21 November 2012 - 12:34 PM

Hang in there op.  My ds didn't want to know either, had no interest.  I was taking him every half hour, building it up to every hour, every hour and a half and eventually every two hours.  
A few times he had accidents and every time he would say his undies weren't doing a good job (pointed out that undies did a different job to pull ups).  
Ds turned 4 and something just clicked.  Touch wood so far since July he hasn't had an accident, even when we are out.  At home he quite happily goes when ever he needs to.  When we are out,  I always make a point of making him go before we leave the house and after 2 to 3 hours I just find a toilet and take him.
I was like you, worried, but now on reflection....it was all unnecessary.
Good luck with it all

#14 Chelara

Posted 21 November 2012 - 12:41 PM

Good luck! Dd resisted and resisted every attempt I made at TTing her before she was 3. At about 3.25 over the long weekend with DH on board we said bye bye to nappies, to,d her straight up this is it, no more nappies (switched to pull ups at night) we made sure we went out, shopping, out to lunch etc and although she would wee herself at home she really didn't want to when we were out. She was still having a few accidents and resisting a little until she talked with her friends about using the toilet (we were telling her xx uses the toilet and xx doesn't wear nappies). After that she night trained too.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Video: 10-week-old baby sounds like she says 'I love you'

It’s mixed in amongst garbled baby talk, but this 10-week-old's apparent attempt at telling her parents that she loves them has made her an internet star.

I only enjoyed pregnancy after booking my caesarean

To say I became obsessed is something of an understatement. Everywhere I went I found cause to be reminded of my impending pain.

When your bundle doesn't bring immediate joy

One mum says joy is very a personal feeling and expecting all new mums to feel it in the months after their baby born may do more harm than good.

Lessons learned from my toddler

Blogger Kiran Chug explains why she is going to let her toddler make more decisions for himself.

Family welcomes first baby girl in more than 100 years

The Silverton family has heard the phrase "it's a girl" for the first time in four generations.

When a community of kindness steps in

In future when someone I care for, or even someone I barely know, is experiencing a difficult time, I will not overthink it. I'll follow my heart.

Mum in Business: Jac Bowie

Jac Bowie is the founder of Business in Heels, one of the fastest growing women’s networking events in Australia. She shares her story, including how she juggles work with a young family, and ways to work smarter.

What not to say to a mum of twins

Being a mum of identical twin boys stirs up great interest and fascination. It also opens itself up to nosy, invasive questions, as well as huge assumptions.

The mums suing over unplanned babies

A mother-of-five who calls her two youngest sons "miracle babies" is just one of many mums seeking financial compensation for their children's unplanned conceptions.

Video: Dad sings 'Hallelujah' to his daughter every year

It's a gorgeous song to begin with, but this dad's version of Hallelujah, sung for his young daughter, is especially touching.

Constipation in babies when starting solids

While starting solids can be frustrating and messy (yet also fun!), introducing solids can also play havoc on tiny digestive systems.

Parents reunited with baby snatched from hospital

A mother whose newborn baby was snatched from hospital has spoken of her joy and relief at getting her daughter back.

In defence of the bumpie

Are bumpies - bump selfies - really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind"?

Life on the other side of the fence: Why I'm child-free and quite content

Acknowledging that motherhood isn't a bed of roses – to begrudge lack of time, sleep, money and spontaneity – is sacrilegious and a no-no, especially by mother superior-types.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher

Fill out this quick survey and tell us in 25 words or less your best pregnancy or parenting tip - you'll go in the draw to win a $200 Pumpkin Patch voucher.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

In defence of the bumpie

Are bumpies really "exhibitionism of the weirdest kind", as one writer has claimed?

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

My Wellbeing

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.